Ship of Fools: Religious One-Liners

Thread: Religious One-Liners Board: Heaven / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Garden Hermit (# 109) on :

Are there any one-liners that have stopped you in your tracks.

One I heard in the Isle-of-Wight Carisbrooke Christian Centre - 'The Christian Church is the Church of 2nd Chances'.

And in a Reading Methodist Church - 'Never draw a dividing line between your group and others because God will always be on the other side of the line to you.'

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Carisbrooke Christian Centre? Or Westbrook (near Seaview)?

Posted by Garden Hermit (# 109) on :

This is their www address. http://www.carisbrookepriory.org.uk/ Carisbrooke Priory is a House of Prayer and Christian Healing. The Priory's vision is to offer to anyone a place to find peace of mind, to relieve and prevent sickness and distress, through listening and prayer, and to advance the Christian faith.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Ah.

Posted by RdrEmCofE (# 17511) on :

"How strange for those who choose a Jewish God, to then abuse the Jews."

Seen in a church in Salisbury.

Posted by sabine (# 3861) on :

This is a saying and a sign showing up at churches and homes.

"No matter where you're from, we're glad you're our neighbor." In Spanish, English, and Arabic.

https://www.welcomeyourneighbors.org/

sabine

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

I saw this on a list of church sign sayings:

quote:
Every miracle Jesus does starts with a problem.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

On one of the walls at The People’s Church, Banbury, there is a sign that says “No perfect people allowed”. While I like the sentiment that the church is open, nomatter what people’s background, I can’t help but think there’s an implication that God is not allowed.

Posted by Eirenist (# 13343) on :

The original was:
'How odd of God
To choose the Jews'
capped by
'But not so odd
As those who choose
To worship God
But hate the Jews.'
Still as relevant as when it was first written (1930s).

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

I can report a really daft one.

On a church sign, I saw this gem:

"Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life."

[Disappointed]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Standard RC saying:

When God closes a door, He opens a window.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Standard RC saying:

When God closes a door, He opens a window.

That is why churches are always cold.

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

quote:
When God closes a door, He opens a window.

So...you want me to jump, Lord?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Duh - it's a ground floor window.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

"Why do you behave that way? Were you born in a barn?"

"Some of the best people are born in barns." (/stables)

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Duh - it's a ground floor window.

What if I have mobility issues? The Lord wants me to stay inside all my life. Meanie.

quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
"Why do you behave that way? Were you born in a barn?"

"Some of the best people are born in barns." (/stables)

The only context I have heard that in is when one leaves the door open. "Shut the door! Were you born in a barn?" It never made any sense to me. Still doesn't.

Referring to the stable in which Christ was born always reminds me of "The dwarfs are for the dwarfs!"

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
The only context I have heard that in is when one leaves the door open. "Shut the door! Were you born in a barn?" It never made any sense to me. Still doesn't.

I always heard, "Were you raised in a barn?"

Moo

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :

Were you born in a tent? Is the question down here. Doorways perhaps but few actual doors to shut.

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

One of my colleagues has a little whiteboard on his desk where he inscribes the quote of the day.

A couple of weeks ago:

quote:
When a door closes, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

[Killing me]

I love that la vie en rouge. Shakes a cheeky fist at the whole "whatever happens must be God's will so go with it gracefully" kind of spiritual attitude which I find so falsely pious sometimes [Big Grin]

Here's one I read today:

quote:
Nature, Mr Allnut, is what we were put in the world to rise above.
- Katherine Hepburn to Humphrey Bogart in African Queen (1951)

Now I like that one because it counteracts that contemporary love and spiritualisation of nature as always "pure and good and true"

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