Ship of Fools: Heaven: Great unanswered questions of our time

Thread: Heaven: Great unanswered questions of our time Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

There are certain things in life that seem to have no answer. For instance, How does the snow plough driver get to work? Where are the four corners of the earth? Why are flies too stupid to fly out through an open window?

Any others?

Spike

[ 10. March 2003, 02:06: Message edited by: Erin ]

Posted by Elizabeth (# 207) on :

Where are all the mates to the unmatched socks that come out of the dryer?

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Elizabeth:
Where are all the mates to the unmatched socks that come out of the dryer?

And why do sock manufacturers insist on making every pair subtly different?

Posted by jemmi (# 548) on :

Why is watching the members of the Big Brother house wash up on E4 sooo interesting when you wouoldn't even watch 'real' people do it?

Posted by rewboss (# 566) on :

Why do we say "head over heels" when, for most of the time, our heads are over our heels?

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

Because A over T is frowned upon?

Posted by brodavid (# 460) on :

Why does the probability of getting behind a large, slow vehicle increase when I am late?

Posted by starbelly (# 25) on :

Why bo Biros gravitate to the kitchen?

Why is the TV and Radio listings book ALWAYS on the wrong page?

Is there a plectrum heaven, for all the millions of lost ones?

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
And why do sock manufacturers insist on making every pair subtly different?

For my dear husband, I buy 5 pairs of identical socks at a time. I buy white socks and I buy black socks. even he is able to match up his newly laundered socks. )

Posted by Gill (# 102) on :

The Sock Mystery... an engineer told me that they really DO find socks inside the drums of tumble dryers and washing machines. All the time.

Okay, here's mine -

Why don't slugs eat weeds?

Posted by The Happy Coot (# 220) on :

Why does the kitten poo in the litter tray the minute after I change it?

Posted by BTMO (# 723) on :

Have we all seen resin cored solder? (rosin cored soder for the Americans...)

The stuff isn't much thicker than hair, but has up to 5 cores of flux or resin (or rosin)

Here is the weird bit - solder melts at a significantly higher temperature than the flux. How do they get the multicores in the solder??

The can't drill it out and pour the cores in - the rolls are too long. They can't extrude it, because the core is to brittle - it wouldn't extrude.

How do they do it??

Oh and why can't you taste your own saliva, why don't magnets run down and why can't you tickle yourself...

Cheers,

Brenton

Posted by BTMO (# 723) on :

Oh yes - and why do you have to wash bath towels?

After all, you only ever use them when you are clean...

Posted by Gill B (# 112) on :

Why, when you are washing up, is there always one teaspoon left at the end and you only find it when you are letting the water out?

Posted by Alaric the Goth (# 511) on :

BTMO,
Mrs the Goth (aka The Wench) reckons I would only consider putting my (favourite) bath towel in the laundry bag when it was able to walk part of the way itself. She puts it in every time (sometimes much to my distress).

Posted by Wood (# 7) on :

The top biscuit in a packet of biscuits (say, Ginger Nuts, for exaple) is always broken, right.

So why don't they leave the top biscuit out?

Posted by BTMO (# 723) on :

Alaric - Mrs O figures if we let ours get to that stage we deserve what we get.

As we have two sons, 12½ and 14, (and me) we have some pretty gungy towels!

Cheers,

Brenton

Posted by Groucho (# 279) on :

Why is the queue I join at the Post Office always the one where everyone in front has 1001 things to do and can't remember where they've put everything and where someone has a query which takes ages for the staff to sort out?

Why do women at supermarket checkouts always act so surprised when they are asked to pay for the goods they have bought, and then spend ages fiddling around in their purses (whilst men have the right money or their debit card instantly available at the right moment)?

Posted by CharlottePlatz (# 695) on :

Probabbly much of this can be attributed to Sods Law (known in nicer circles as Murphy's law) ie the Law that dictates that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Apparently, there is some scientific way to prove that fi you dont want something to happen at a certain time, you can absolutely almost guarantee that it will, such as dropping your toast on the carpet, you just KNOW it will land butter side down - its just the way it goes!!

But, for me, I would like to know how it is possible that I can be thinking of a person that I have not seen or heard from in months - and then in the enxt hour, out of the blue, the person phones or emails me. I'm not too sure if I believe in psychic ability - but I wonder, how does this happen?

Posted by BTMO (# 723) on :

quote:
CharlottePlatz wrote:
But, for me, I would like to know how it is possible that I can be thinking of a person that I have not seen or heard from in months - and then in the enxt hour, out of the blue, the person phones or emails me. I'm not too sure if I believe in psychic ability - but I wonder, how does this happen?

Pretty often. I have dubbed this Brenton's Law (in honour of my good self), also known as the law of threes.

If you learn a new word, you will hear at least three times in the next three weeks, and you will never have heard it before!

Example, years ago I heard the word "lickspittle" for the first time. I thought to myself, "this is going to crop up again and again over the next few weeks"

The next day, the then Prime Minister, Paul Keating used the word describing a political enemy. Or friend. We never knew with Paul.

And off course, lickspittle was in the news for weeks after that!

Cheers,

Brenton

Posted by Ferg (# 33) on :

Why did Apple put a little pic of a bomb (to the alarm of many) on their error messages?

Why does Linux have an error message saying something about the printer being on fire?

Ferg

Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :

Some of these posts are perilously reminiscent of a Seinfeld monologue.

Must...resist...urge...to lock thread...

Posted by Maddie (# 11) on :

Can I just be obvious here?

When you hear what you consider to be a new word, surely the first time you actually take it on board and log it as interesting you then begin to notice it?

Like when you change cars, suddenly you see loads similar - but it isn't that they weren't around before (unless it is totally new of course!) but that you are now noticing them because they mean something.

Or when you are running really late for something then you get really stressed out about being behind a slow vehicle but if you have plenty of time it doesn't get at you and make you remember.

Sorry to be boring - it is a natural gift.

Posted by BTMO (# 723) on :

quote:
Some of these posts are perilously reminiscent of a Seinfeld monologue

Why is it that the poorest communicators in the world gravitate to the internet, where they become the most erudite and vocal people, willing to spill their guts to complete strangers?

Why do villians in American movies always have British accents? I mean is it because of the revolution? Are all Brits evil megalomaniacs, bent on destroying the world?

And what is with that whole destroying the world thing anyway? Where do they plan to live? <quizzical look>

<music>

Posted by BTMO (# 723) on :

Maddie,

You are probably right about just noticing things, but Newton got laws of motion named after him just for noticing stuff falling.

It is my little bit of fame and I am grabbing it!

And I think it is a conspiracy...

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :

Let's try a few Christian (in a few cases, super-Catholic) unsolved mysteries:
1. Were any pagan babies really baptised with the names classes spent hours choosing? (If so, half the population of certain third world nations is named either "Mary" or "Joseph" - most kids knew the "correct" choices.)
2. Why doesn't anyone ever refer to anything good as God's will?
3. Why was it considered saintly to attend the first Mass on Sunday (6:00), when, with few exceptions, the attendess were those who'd been out all night?
4. Why are nuns who dress in fashionable outfits insulted when people do not immediately know they are Sisters?
5. Why, in the old painting of the two children and guardian angel crossing a bridge, do the two kids share one angel?
6. Why do parish or diocesan Coordinators of Whatever complain that "the people" are opposed to this-or-that, while concurrently insisting that this-or-that was implemented because the people wanted it?
7. For all the devotion to saints, why aren't any to the Apostles ever popular? (Except to the obscure Jude, which does not count because they are based on what he's supposed to be able to obtain rather than on who he is.)
8. Since nothing makes much sense in moral theology unless people have a free will, why does the left blame everything on society and the right on the devil?
9. Are there any popular English translations of Latin hymns that bear any resemblance to the original text?
10. Isn't it rather unjust to say that poor Saint Jude, who has enough troubles just from bearing the same name as the traitor, refuses to answer prayers unless the supplicant grants him press coverage?

Posted by The sceptical Atheist (# 379) on :

May I be boring? Is that allowed in Heaven?

The slow car when in a rush is one that I have thought about. I have noticed that I am often stuck behind slow cars when not in a rush, but it doesn't stick out as much. It is not so memorable.

The person appearing just after one has thought of them is like the fact that saying everything is quiet is supposed to tempt fate.

I have thought about that too. I work with computers, and let us assume where I work we get a failure on average every 10 minutes. If things start going well, we may get a break of 1/2 hour. That is the point where somebody says "Its going well, isn't it!". The odds are that something will go wrong. That is just probability.

So this shows two things. One, perception can lead us to think things are strange when they aren't. Two, I need to get out more!

Posted by Gill (# 102) on :

Isn't it rather unjust to say that poor Saint Jude, who has enough troubles just from bearing the same name as the traitor, refuses to answer prayers unless the supplicant grants him press coverage?

Oh! Is THAT why people do that? How VERY weird! Some Catholic newspaper owner, I wouls imagine!

Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :

Why do you never see baby pigeons?
How did Bazooka Joe lose his right eye?
Who is Swee'Pea's father?

Posted by Timoteo (# 987) on :

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

In the Garden of Eden, did the mosquitoes' bite (or sting, or whatever) hurt?

-Timoteo

Posted by Gill (# 102) on :

Example, years ago I heard the word "lickspittle" for the first time. I thought to myself, "this is going to crop up again and again over the next few weeks"

I'd never seen that word before, and three days later it was in the Times...

Posted by Brickbat (# 783) on :

Why does lemon juice contain artificial ingredients, when washing-up liquid contains real lemon juice?

Posted by Brickbat (# 783) on :

If a man stands in a forest, speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

Why is it that a brassiere is singular and knickers are plural?

Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :

Why do they make fat-free twinkies?
Why do people think drinking a diet soda will make a difference if they are having it with a big mac and large fries?
However did we get from something like a wolf to something like a pekingnese.. and why did anyone want to?

Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :

ok, i've been waiting for someone else to ask this one, and no one has, so...

i wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who (ugh) who (ugh) who wrote the book of love?

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by BTMO:
Oh yes - and why do you have to wash bath towels?
After all, you only ever use them when you are clean...

I know this one. Scrub as you like in the bath, you exfoliate dead skin cells when you dry off anyway. You really don't want to rub them back into your skin.

My foster Dad taught me that!

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by BTMO:
Why do villians in American movies always have British accents? I mean is it because of the revolution? Are all Brits evil megalomaniacs, bent on destroying the world?

Interestingly, a friend of mine who knows about such things (ah, such a novice I am in anime-do, or the way of anime) tells me that in Japanese animation, characters with Chinese accents are usually the "snooty/ultra-formal/stuck-up" characters.

Yes, I am annoyed at "Brit accents = bad guys" as well. (Or butlers, over-refined people, etc.)

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:

However did we get from something like a wolf to something like a pekingnese.. and why did anyone want to?

Bonsai.

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :

Whose cruel idea was the word "lisp"?

Posted by Brickbat (# 783) on :

why does "monosyllable" have so many syllables?

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gill:
Isn't it rather unjust to say that poor Saint Jude, who has enough troubles just from bearing the same name as the traitor, refuses to answer prayers unless the supplicant grants him press coverage?
Oh! Is THAT why people do that? How VERY weird! Some Catholic newspaper owner, I wouls imagine!

I don't know the exact origin, but remember that, in my childhood (about 40 years ago), the printed "Novena to St Jude" sometimes contained the line at the end "publication must be promised." At the time, I doubt it meant publication in print - the idea was to spread devotion to Jude because, as the prayer referenced, his memory was obscure because he bore the same name as the traitor.

It was in adulthood that, in totally secular newspapers, I was amazed to see the many advertisements "Thank you Saint Jude."

Posted by gandalf35 (# 934) on :

Murphy actually said, If something is going to go wrong, it most likley will happen at the worst possable moment.

Why when you despertately need to use a payphone and only have 50 cents (pence?)do you always pick the one in the bank that doesn't work but takes your money anyway?

Posted by Brickbat (# 783) on :

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Posted by Pete (# 88) on :

quote:
why can't you taste your own saliva

Try saving it in a glass and drink it cold

mmmmm....viscous...

Posted by Emily (# 437) on :

What is an Olay? As in Oil of Olay?

Posted by Alaric the Goth (# 511) on :

quote:
What is an Olay?

Eeee, we doo get some daft questions!

It's an egg laid that is perfectly round, of course. So the Oil of Olay was originally devised as a lubricant to help the chicken achieve this result.

Some folk.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Up to fairly recently it was called 'Oil of Ulay' - derivation uncertain, but possibly from the expression 'You lay there while I get some oil to rub on that dry, scaly skin...'

Other pedants maintain it is a Swiss product, proper name Oil of U-de-lay-eh-lay-ed-dee

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

An Olay is an Aloe (as in aloe vera) that has passed through the system of a marketing executive.

Posted by firebrand31 (# 1053) on :

it is all to do with our thoughts.
the positive thought
or the negative thought.
thoughts make waves... so be positive! next time a negative comes... tell it to ''shove off''.

Posted by Brickbat (# 783) on :

Why do clairvoyants have doorbells?

Posted by Steve_R (# 61) on :

Put me down on the boring list:

quote:
Originally posted by Ham'n'Eggs:
Why do you never see baby pigeons?

Squabs remain in the nest until they are almost full grown before fledging. (Just like teenagers really)

Posted by Little Miss Chatterbox (# 86) on :

Why is the weather always sunny while I'm at work, but not at the weekend?!

Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :

My turn to be mundane:

They've actually done a study on the effect of urban heat islands (the heat that builds up over cities). On the east coast of the US, they've found that the heat and humidity build up over cities during the week and slowly drift off shore, so that over the weekend this comes back ashore as stormy weather.

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
An Olay is an Aloe (as in aloe vera) that has passed through the system of a marketing executive.

Yeeugh!

And you're supposed to do what with the stuff?

BTW - I love the adverts at Christmas and Mother's Day which suggest (to kids) that this is the present mum would like best - translation "Mum's all wrinkly".

Posted by Doctor Zaius (# 261) on :

When the filthy humans let off gastric pressure, why doesn't the clothing filter it out?

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

Because, dear Doctor, the clothing is generally porous.

Posted by Emily (# 437) on :

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :

Probably bread without grit.

Posted by obvious_agent (# 1157) on :

About letting one off - I heard that someone has invented pants that contain activated charcoal filters that do indeed filter noxious odours out....

One for the day after the curry the night b4...

...Also someone did a study into toast landing buttered side down - it has something to do with weight distribution i think is what they came up with.

I've got one - why do people wearing hats in cars make for the most infuriating of drivers to follow?

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

They also came to the conclusion that toast that landed butter side up had been buttered on the wrong side

Posted by Astro (# 84) on :

Do charismatic zen buddists clap with one hand?

Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on :

I remember a great suggestion for a monorail design based upon an array of cats (which always land feet-first) strapped to buttered toast (which always lands butterside down) so that they never touch the ground...

Posted by GabyLeDorque (# 939) on :

About Murphy's law, here's a story...

This man is the unluckiest person in the world. He has never had a single stroke of good luck in his entire life. Anything wrong that could have happened to him did. So naturally, he's a quite depressed individual and he sees a psychiatrist every day.

This one morning, he's having breakfast, he's just done buttering his toast when, of course, it slips and falls on the floor EXCEPT it fell on the non-buttered side! So he's completely extatic, he picks up the toast and runs to his psychiatrist's, storms into the office holding the toast up in the air shouting "Look doctor! The curse is broken! I buttered this toast and it slipped and fell but it fell ON THE NON-BUTTERED SIDE!!!"

So the doctor takes the toast from the man's hands, examines it and gives it back to him saying:

"I'm sorry. It was buttered on the wrong side."

TA-TAAAA!!!!

Posted by Cinnamon (# 1181) on :

"What is an olay?"

What a good question, one I've wanted the answer to myself! I have to admit though that the chicken lubricant explanation does make me slightly reluctant to lather myself up with it!!

Regards,

Cinnamon.

Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on :

Murphy was an optimist.

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

Thanks ChastMastr, but I'm not convinced by your solution to the bath towels question - the bits of skin left in the towel are clean, aren't they? so why not just give it a good shake and carry on?

Now, one of my own: why is "poo" the accepted word for sh*t (or cr*p) in English early years teaching? If the bear had been called Winnie-the-sh*t, would things be different now?

Posted by Stephen (# 40) on :

Isn't that O'Toole's Law, Nightlamp?
I believe it hasn't yet been falsified!!

Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :

In Grimm's Fairy Tales, why do the world's strongest man/fastest man/etc. have nothing to do until the hero needs their help?

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

My impression has always been that the hero is the first person to pay proper attention to these guys (possibly because they look nerdy) and so they reveal their gifts to him. Rather like the fairy tales where the heroine shares her crust with an animal which turns out to be the one creature with the power to help her.

Posted by fee (# 1047) on :

hey this is so strange, I was jsut reading through thie thread when my boss, obviously hard at work as well

Emailed this through to me! - Some have alerady been posted so apologies! :0)

* Why does the sun ligten our hair but darken our skin?

* Why can women not put on mascara with their mouths shut? (I don't put mascara on so have no idea how true this is?!!)

* Why do you never see the headline "Psychic wins lottery"?

* Why is abbreviated such a long word?

* Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

* Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

* Why is it to stop Windows 98 you have to click on start?

* Why is the man (lets be PC - person) who invests all your money called a broker?

* Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "Rush Hour"?

* Why isn't there any mouse flavoured cat food?

* Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?!

* Why do they sterilise the needles for a lethal injection?

* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

There you go... my input!

Love and Hugs
Fee
xxx

[2 items removed in light of recent events]

[ 16 September 2001: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

Posted by Amanda (# 938) on :

Back to the pigeons again, someone told me this weekend that they saw not one, but TWO baby pigeons - and I think he was quite a trustworthy person, so it seems they do exist.

Also - why are there 4 double-sided cards in a pack of UNO cards? The instructions say something to the effect of: before starting play remove the four black uno cards! So why oh why oh why are they there?????

Posted by babybear (# 34) on :

If you lose a card you can create a replacement with one of the blank uno cards.

Posted by Kerry (# 202) on :

One question that continues to puzzle me - not about our time, but about our church -
if we are supposed to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, and our local choir sound like a bunch of clinically depressive cats, does that mean he has earplugs for Sunday mornings? Or does he just zone our church out?

Kerry

Posted by starbelly (# 25) on :

In that case bb why did they not leave one side white?

Neil

Posted by Warden (# 1089) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kerry:
If we are supposed to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, and our local choir sound like a bunch of clinically depressive cats, does that mean he has earplugs for Sunday mornings? Or does he just zone our church out?

Perhaps he's an optimist and can find joy in everything? (Or even, if your choir enjoys making the noise they do, it is a joyful noise )

Posted by Calvin (# 271) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kerry:
if we are supposed to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, and our local choir sound like a bunch of clinically depressive cats, does that mean he has earplugs for Sunday mornings? Or does he just zone our church out?

Psalm 150 - Everything that has breath praise the Lord.

So if they are praising the Lord he doesn't mind what it sounds like !

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