The smilies enter the Smilie Sister experience. They have never met before. They do not yet know their task for the day.

Whay hay.. this place is so coooool, ooh I'm so excited!! Fame! Fame! Fame! Look at meeeee!
hi. Good to meet you. Put it here friend. Anyone for a beer?
errmmm, I'm looking for the canned veg aisle….don't say they've moved this place around again.
This is no SUPERMARKET!!! We're talking Smilie Sister! We're talking Live Stream Internet! We're talking celebrity.
so no canned veg? I must have taken the wrong turning.
well, pull up a deckchair, you're here to stay, so we might as well get round to the juicy business of declaring intimate life experiences to the world wide media circus.
did some-one mention me? Keep it down. I've got a guilty secret that my mum doesn't know about, she'll be so shocked, I don't know how she'll face her friends at the Pony Club. Oh yes, I'm the low of the low… A Tabloid Journalist.
NO!!!
 

quote:

---

Dear Readers. you get the idea? feel free to join in!

---

I have them written down - just faxed off the list, as a matter of fact...

You won't NEED to remember the others for long... wanna piccy of my big attributes? And my teeth, of course...

Why the F*** do I get to do all the BLEEP BLEEP work round here? Off yer backside, Colgate, and start digging - or you won't have any F****** teeth left to brush...

Can she say that? (*Sobs into camera*)

(*Enters Diary Room*) Who's Norman?

OUTTA HERE! (*Scowls to camera*) The others have sent me to ask if we could have a JCB. No they haven't they're too B****** stupid to think. How long do I have to stay here?

(*pushes into shot*) ANd brickies, Dahlin' - one each. Make fer some good shots an' I've got the Headline... 'BABES BED BRICKIES IN NORMAN CONQUEST'
 

(not editing.. just trying to see why this thread is buggered.. nope, no suspect code here... clare)

[ 31 May 2001: Message edited by: clare ]
 

Today we freeze the action our 8 contestant and have a free and fair election regarding which smilie is to be kicked off Smilie Sister.

Please register your votes, one per shipmate, on this thread.

And if you are still feeling creative then you can also suggest a task for the remaining smilies to complete tomorrow.

The Polls close at 00.00 midnight.
 

Plus it makes it more of a contest as strathclyde zero has voted twice for the same smilie.

[I've just removed his cheating duplicate post - Viola]

Suggestions for a task? How about putting on a fashion parade using rubber, wood and pillows as the costume material?

Love, peace and jellybeans

UnShaggy

[ 31 May 2001: Message edited by: Viola ]
 

Can I ponder tasks and post that separately?

Maddie
 

quote:

---

Oh yes, and maddie, of course you can suggest gruesome tasks any time you like

---

Now what's this thread all about?
what...no!.It can't be!......................

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
 

I always distrust people whose mouth bears a remarkable similarity to one of their eyes.

W
 

He he.

The Shadow Lover
 

(Well I mean - have you ever seen N.G.? It's like being preached to by a grand piano...)

Task? Bury the first contestant voted off? Make a Floating Voter out of modelling ballons (helium cannister provided) - should allow for some silly voices...
 

And it/she/he looks like Nicky Gumbel and we don't want an Alpha course in the House. Do we?

BTW my spellchecker changes Gumbel to 'Gumball'.
 

I really can't understand it. No, that can't be. I'm smilie Carol Smilie (and these are my teeth!)

<The show has been accused of dumbing down the internet - how would you respond?

Err, by SMILING. I'm smilie Carol Smi...

< ... Yes, yes, we know. is showing signs of stress. How do you think he's going to cope locked up with the others?

Oh, by swearing, shouting, and launching a "Nasty " book when he gets out. He can't smile, of course...

< Oh, and why's that?

'Cos I'm smilie C... <choke choke choke>

< Thank you, we've had quite enough of that.
 

Oh I don't know really, can't really sort this out

oh shut up, right I'm chopping that bit of fence down and am going to make an outfit from that.

fence? Should you do that?

I'm off to find some rubber, I quite fancy a little rubber number

gosh, well I have my outfit all ready, two pillows linked with wooden spoons.

I can't really be bothered, if you all do everything for me I will be willing to join in.

why don't you get off you backside and DO something, you lazy good for nothing piece of ****
 

Best make the most of the rubber then. Can I take this dress off now? And you, darlin'...
Oooooooohhhhhh.........
Still waters run deep, man!

*Shagging noises just off camera...*

[fixed code]

[ 02 June 2001: Message edited by: Viola ]
 

It looks like there's been a pause in the action, so I'll get things rolling.

This time I'm voting off , who has been the least interesting character IMO.
 

I'm voting off 'cause (s)he just sits around all day and helps none of the other smilies - absolutely useless!

((s)he also fancies himself - another good reason to be done with him/her
 

Maddie
 

< enters. >

oh, hi!
hey man.
i was just saying to how i think you're in with a chance of winning.
you think so?
oh, definitely. right. i'm off to cast my vote.
 

Competition for which smilie has had the most 'interesting' job maybe?

You can do better than that though can't you?
 

I vote off - it's only kind.

Anyway sooner or later s/he's gonna interrupt something exciting with those silly questions.
 

Meanwhile the remaining contestants puzzle over their next challenge.

Writing and performing a musical eh? Wonder if it's OK to use songs from existing musicals...?

And just as well someone's brought in a guitar that they can play 3 chords on.
 

Hey, whatever floats their boats, man.

>How do you answer accusations of having been lazy and useless?

Just that some folks seriously need to chill. Life is a journey, man. Later.

>Wait, just a few more questions...
 

The guy from Star Trek?

Shut up, you ********!! Go on.

...Sartre, Kabuki Theatre, Aaron Spelling--

I see the first scene! Electra enters with a chorus of former Charlie's Angels and decides God doesn't exist because her pet seagull died. It just works on so many different levels!

...Ver-frem-WHAT?? Oh, we'll figure that out later...

I keep trying to get this guitar to sound like a shamisen, but there's just so much I can do...
 

How do you know so much about Sartre?

I lectured on Existentialism for a semester.

How does The Flies end? Maybe we can just tack it on--we're running out of time.

Electra cravenly returns to the guilt-code of Conventional Morality after refusing to accept ultimate responsibility for the actions of killing Clytemnestra and Aegisthus, while Orestes, despite being accursed by the Furies with a plague of flies, achieves the freedom of a rational being able to determine his own morality.

Oh dear...

Let's just set all the words to Gilbert-And-Sullivan tunes--any moron can do it, and it's public domain anyway...
 

has grown tiresome--off with him!

I also predict an explosive confrontation between and
 

BTW: Rumor has it that is going to the next centerfold of BDA Monthly (you have to start somewhere).
 

(besides, i think it'd be funny to keep in the house as long as possible, just to really confuse him.)

oh dear, for a minute there, i think i lost touch with reality. hang on... this isn't real is it...?
 

gets my vote
 

Maddie
 

"Reality" Programming Reaches New Heights(?) With "Smilie Sister"

Smilie Sister, the Big Brother-inspired series sponsored by the website Ship Of Fools, is practically the definition of "logical conclusion." Various ambiguously-gendered emoticons cavort with the predictability of Dickensian humours for the amusement of any netizen who happens to stumble upon them. Their semi-competent completion of superhuman tasks (despite their having no visible appendages) alternates with their being thrown to the merciless scrutiny of and possible ejection by their viewers.

Here perhaps lies the most interesting aspect of this series--the proverbial mirror to our own faces. So far, there has been no discernible pattern as to which smilie gets ejected. The first victim, , was condemned for being too annoying ("giving brain-dead bimbos a bad name" was one memorable opinion). On the second round of voting, however, Utility took precedence and the mellow-but-unproductive was shown the door. With the last round, attitudes turned 180 degrees-- , the leader-by-default and voice of reason, was ejected for being "too boring."

Why is this? Different rules for different situations? Change for the sake of change? Attention-Deficit Disorder? As we ponder our fickleness on the series's Seventh Day, prepare for the prospect of all Hell now breaking loose in the Smilies' universe.
 

note to fellow contributers - shall we start 'day seven' tomorrow? We can blame the international date line if we like. is definately the next evictee... in the meantime, any suggestions for tomorrows task? love clare

The remaining smilies ( and )are looking forward to their new task.....
 

Oh, stuff it, Mr. I-lectured-on-Existentialism-with-a-rubber-fetish...now, can we get away with any sort of electromagnetism or does it have to be the same wavelengths cucumbers use for photosynthesis?

Of course! We just reverse photosynthesis!

...

One word from you and I drop you where you stand!

'Smilies Bend Laws of Nature'--they would print that even before the topless model!

[ 19 June 2001: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

I wouldn't mind a bit of Time Travel.

I'm sure you'd do anything once!

Doesn't Time Travel require a lot of energy? All we have is this outlet the lamp is plugged in.

We wouldn't have to travel through time--the cucumber by itself would expend far less energy.

But then what would we have for lunch?

THAT DOES IT!!! [loud crashing]

I can't look! I knew cucumbers would cause something to happen!
 

<choking and gargling noises>

Cat got your tongue? He he he.

I told you. I warned you all. Now I'm getting all blotchy and itchy.

You know, if we really did get sunbeams from the cucumber, we could all get serious skin damage from the ultraviolet radiation.

<scratching> I didn't bring any sunblock.

You can get sunburned from a glow-in-the-dark cucumber?

<frothing> I'm surrounded by idiots.
 

This is not a day for voter apathy. You hold the key (out). There's still a lot more to do. What you see is what you get. Only 24 hours to save something. You know it's common sense.
 

Well - since I'm voting against the bad guy in the election suppose I'd better vote against the bad guy here too - has to go.

a challenge - hmm - each of the smilies could share their most embarrasing moment (lame I know)
 

task: find the lost city of atlantis?

clare
 

Must vote for to be evicted - just a matter of time before s/he explodes!

PS - will time travel within a warp bubble really take that much energy? (see - not a bimbo)
 

Not for the next round, but maybe a later one:

Design appropriate "Smilie Sister" memorabilia to sell to the public.
 

we need to keep and in, people! let's see what disasters we can cause!!!

oh, sorry, i forgot. we're not allowed to crusade...!
 

Did I say that? I'd better repent....
 

Nope, I vote for
 

I just tried to escape! And you sent me back! WHY? F****** WHY??????????????
 

I herby declare that is to be evicted from the aforementioned cult reality internet programme. loses his deposit.
 

Oh no, I can't cope with the pressure!
Get a Life you wimp!

Strange child. Ha har, this will sink 's boat! (dumps ten ton weight into Furious's boat)

blub - curse you! - blub!
 

Just wait till he comes back, he'll be worse than ever!

My plan for domination has worked!
Oh yeah?? THUMP!
Duh!? (Crashes to the floor - and is picked up by Smilie Sister bouncers)
You were saying?
 

: Play On![
 

Isn't still in it?
 

Beautiful, baby, beautiful!

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!

Please sit down! The boat is rocking!

...8,9,10. OK...but somebody else better go, or else...

Well...I once accidentally gave away the ending to "Presumed Innocent."

Oh, big deal! His wife did it! I give it away all the time--it was even part of a skit on "The Kids In The Hall!"

Have to agree--your "confession" wouldn't draw flies to a turd party...
 

But what about the water pressure and getting The Bends if you come back up too quickly?--

Never mind that! Just do something useful and think of another deus ex machina in case my dive (though it sure as Hell better) doesn't pan out--AND DON'T YOU DARE TRY USING IT TILL I GET BACK!

<splash>

<pause>

Well...

Well what?

You know...

Well, isn't Disney releasing a movie about Atlantis? Doesn't their advertising even say "Discover the Lost Continent?"

Of course! I already have my laptop out for the digital camera! I'll just adjust my wireless modem and we'll come across some promos in no time. Heh, heh, heh...
 

Too long. Too long.

What was it we were supposed to put in the washing machine if this happened?

I have a sinking feeling about this. Like the time I accidentally felt wind coming on during communion. It was silent, but everyone knew. I know they knew.

Well, that's not one I can get on the camera....but it might still do for a small sidebar story.

<sputters, gasps for air, gulps, spits up saltwater, sputters, tries to yell, continues in this behavior for several moments, floundering all the while>

Maybe we should ask Norman about the washing machine.

Give me a hand back in the boat, one of you. Useless. Just useless. And turn that camera off, Flash, or you're history!
 

I found something!!

<CLUNK!>

Um...what exactly is it?

Could be pottery, could be metal, could be coral, could have fallen off of a boat somehow--

<muttering> Shut up shut up shut up it's proof it's proof it's proof--

While you were gone--

<frantic signalling by the other two not to go on>

--we found all this neat Atlantis stuff!

WHAT???????
 

If didn't have apoplexy, we still have four smilies, but one has to go.

I vote off ; that one has never been a favorite of mine.
 

~Elizabeth
 

Maddie

(And no I never vote with the crowd)
 

An exciting round of voting--so far, it's a tie against and .

Our Experts Predict:
Should "Flash" survive this round, he will be the probable winner; and have their loyal fans but an equal number of detractors, giving "Flash" the choose-the-lesser-evil vote. If "Whiney" squeaks through, all bets are off.

What The Winner Wins
1) Pending final negotiations with Ship Of Fools, the title of "SOF Official Emoticon."

2) An all-expense paid international trip as a Mystery Worshipper (with clever disguise to hide the newly-acquired celebrity).

3) Permission to smack around the "Smilie Sister" contestant he least got along with.

4) An SUV with a full tank of gas (registration and insurance winner's responsibility).

Ejectee Update:

(#8): Centerfold of BDA Monthly, followed by centerfolds in Hot Bleeding Gums and Deep Scaling.

(#7): Whereabouts unknown.

(#6): Being widely admired for his/her optimism and take-charge attitude, was quickly hired as an official spokesperson for VISA.

(#5): His controversial appointment to the Drexel University Philosophy Department has been postponed pending the resolution of charges stemming from a Philadelphia S&M Club.

* From the official Smilie Sister fansite ("Your Source For All Things Smilie")
 

1. Are they both ejected if the vote is tied?

2. Is there a tie-breaking question, like "Give us your opinion, in 50 words or less, on the new treatment for plantars warts which contains aloe, goat cheese and sardine extract (sans tomatoes)?"

As for the next Smilie Sister task: They should be sent to a flat until recently occupied by a group of university students, who have now left in haste to enjoy their summer hols, but whose refrigerator and cupboards undoubtedly hold the ingredients necessary for a full nine-course dinner (with sweet) suitable for a Duchess.

The only caveat is that no animals may be killed in the preparation of the dinner; animals already found dead in tins, refrigerator, or by the roadside are fair game (did I hear groans?), but there must not be Smilie Bloodshed unless one of the Smilie Sisters is a certified kosher butcher.

Just a thought. We haven't had a good Smilie Iron Chef competition yet.

~Elizabeth
 

The next person to post on this thread must vote out either or . People who have previously voted on this round can vote again. If you are reading this, ACT NOW. the decision is all yours.
 

Was I quick enough?
 

Which whittles us down to three and and brings us to:
DAY 11 (in the loosest possible sense of the word 'day')ACTION

The set task is...

quote:

---

They should be sent to a flat until recently occupied by a group of university students, who have now left in haste to enjoy their summer hols, but whose refrigerator and cupboards undoubtedly hold the ingredients necessary for a full nine-course dinner (with sweet) suitable for a Duchess.

The only caveat is that no animals may be killed in the preparation of the dinner; animals already found dead in tins, refrigerator, or by the roadside are fair game (did I hear groans?), but there must not be Smilie Bloodshed unless one of the Smilie Sisters is a certified kosher butcher.

---

I don't understand it...I came up with the solutions to the last two tasks. And it wasn't like I was trying to be bossy or anything--somebody had to do it, and I was trying my best that the others wouldn't take it the wrong way, but sometimes people can be so sensitive--

>Yes, yes, right. What are your plans now?

I don't know yet because this came on so suddenly since I was just minding my own business and trying to participate as best as I could but there's no pleasing some people and it be such a strain sometimes--

>Thank you, thank you--I do believe that's your taxi.

Are you sure? Where am I supposed to be--

>GO!!

<pause>

>Good riddance. Personally, I hope wins.

>Me too. He/she's cool...
 

eek!

this is our scaryest mission yet. First, to find the fridge. To the kitchen.

Is this a kitchen? Or a graveyard for unloved, unravelled, unwashed crockery?

Is that a fridge? Or a random collection of dirty plastic letters aranged to mispell various obcenities?

STuck in hell with a couple of wittering idiots. Less Questions more Action or we'll alll starve. Can we cancel the quote of the day competition? Right. Are you ready? Open the door.

The medium of internet limits the nasel appreciation of this experience. Suffice to say all three of our heros are out cold on the very sticky lino floor/
 

...OK, I think we're acclimated now.

That sounds dirty.

I think we should do this by stages.

For once you're right. I'll start by deciding which items in the fridge are supposed to smell that way--stupid exotic gourmet ****!

I'll start by scraping out the cheese left in these old pizza boxes--with a little ingenuity and a lot of BS that will probably add up to one course--thank your lucky stars we have the "stupid exotic gourmet ****" option to fall back on--

I'll start by setting the table--

No you don't! Go see if that stuff growing under the sink can pass for truffles!
 

Besides my cheese dish, I've made an intriguing apple-core-dead-african-violet-catnip salad--

--which is dead in the water compared to my main course painstakingly blended from leftover Spam, rice cakes, Ramen Noodles, and Onion Dip--wait a minute, where is it???

BURP!!!

<extended episode of at-least-R-rated violence>

Oh my...I'll need one less seating card now...
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:

<extended episode of at-least-R-rated violence>

---

Can our cross-cultural translators explain this one?
 

G:
General Admission
PG:
Parental Guidance Suggested
PG-13:
No one admitted under the age of 13 unless accompanied by an an adult
R:
Restricted--No one admitted under the age of 17 unless accompanied by an an adult
NC-17:
No one admitted under the age of 17
X:
Old designation of NC-17; has been associated with pornography for decades
 

quote:

---

By the way, the cross cultural lexenography (somewhere buried at the bottom of the heaven board) is a good place to ask these sort of questions.

on with the show...

---

can you flambe my ccreme caramel made from findings of bathtub scum?

easy...

wow! There goes my eyebrows.
 

< exits carrying all the precariously-balanced jars and bottles>

Are you sure should go near that still the students left behind?

At this point, I don't care anymore. Besides, nobody could be so stupid that--

<KA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!>

...we'd better see if the show will cover the Security Deposit...
 

One of the three remaining smilies must be rejected by the world today. Please twist in your own knife.

Tasks suitable for two very competative smilies are also required.

clare
 

Besides, on the outside he may just learn who Norman is.
 

'frin
 

clare
 

Hostility has grown in the last two rounds; the experts may have to re-evaluate their predictions.
 

And then where would we be?

~Elizabeth
 

1) (Previously mentioned) Design appropriate "Smilie Sister" memorabilia to sell to the public.

2) Have a contest to see which smilie can better impersonate the other.

3) An official debate (including direct appeals to the viewers) on why one deserves to win or the other deserves to lose.
 

quote:

---

am i the only person who thinks should be the one to go?

---

I'm sure a lot of people don't want to win, but they do want him/her to stay as long as possible. Everyone loves a good villain...
 

i want the final task to be a death match between and .

no-one can argue that that wouldn't be compulsive viewing...
 

Come on guys you know who is the right person to vote off - the one with the freaky eyes and annoying personality.

Mad
 

The results of the last slaying are as follows...
has to eat the meal which effectively evicts him/her from any further participation in Smilie Sister.

The final day of action for the remaining survivors and needs to be the hardest yet, so we'll be asking them to multi-task the following challenges. Yes, simultaneously...

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
Some ideas for the last task:

1) (Previously mentioned) Design appropriate "Smilie Sister" memorabilia to sell to the public.

2) Have a contest to see which smilie can better impersonate the other.

3) An official debate (including direct appeals to the viewers) on why one deserves to win or the other deserves to lose.

---

So, for one last time, let's go to Smilie Sister...
 

If I hold my breath...

Perhaps this lighter...
 

As my esteemed <snicker> colleague and I have completed our opening remarks, allow me to raise some issues for the benefit of my fellow netizens.

The honor of winning the "Smilie Sister" competition should be based on two standards--Ability and Merit. As to Ability, the evidence of MY leadership, when given the opportunity, is indisputable. Although my goals have not always been completely achieved, MY approach has always been direct, to the point, and aggressive. I do not brook incompetence, nor have I had to resort to SHADY LOOPHOLES, FANCY EQUIVOCATING, CATERING TO or--dare I say it--ACTIVELY COLLUDING WITH THE MEDIA, or OSTENTATIOUS DISPLAY. As to Merit...<dramatic pause>...I, for one, do not feel the need to show off fancy equipment or be a fawning slave to Fame. I do not need to be, as one commentator so aptly put it, be "a voyeur inside a voyeuristic game." I do not have to be anything more than I am--honest, blunt, and to the point.

And while you're here, take a look at my commemorative Punching Bags--if you get half the satisfaction using them as I did in designing them...

[edited for typo]

[ 14 June 2001: Message edited by: clare ]
 

But I will not stoop to his-or-her-but-probably-his level. I will not call my opponent an opportunistic piece of scum. I will not theorize what sort of corrupt, twisted pysche would carry on in such a manner. I will not nail my opponent to a barbed-wire fence and then--well, you get my point.

As for my latest item (where is 's memorabilia? RESULTS MATTER!): take a load of these novelty teeth. Amuse or terrify your friends!
 

Today a victor will emerge crowned in glory from the Sister Smilie experience. Who should it be? Vote for your winner...

NOW.
 

<Interviewer>: You have been hard to reach since you left the Smilie Sisters; people in the know say that you have been on a voyage to discover yourself, is that so?

?

<Intrepid Interviewer>: Do you have any insights from your time interacting with the Smilie Sisters™?

?

<Daring Interviewer>: Do you feel a sense of achievement in making it to the last three of the Smilie Sisters©?

??

<Grasping at Straws Interviewer>: Did you ever find Norman?

Yes, I did, look.. <holds up a mirror> |
 

( I know it's perverse, i just can't help myself. blame my aversion to flames).
 

~Elizabeth
 

Still haven't decided on my vote (I can't believe how seriously I'm taking this...)
 

btw... can i get an autograph...?
 

I'd rather know in real life, but as Phil R. mentioned, did fufill the final-round requirements better.
 

How could any of you support ?
 

Maddie
 

Votes are currently being counted. A result is expected shortly.
 

polling a decisive 60% of all votes.

Let the media circus begin...
 

The Smilie Sister Renunion

Who is currently dating?
Will bother to come?
What is 's dark secret?
What will wear?
Has found a medication that works?
Will figure out how to get there?
What will write?
Who will beat up?
 

IT'S THE SMILIE SISTER REUNION!
WITH YOUR HOST-- !

<applause>

Yeah, yeah, it's my pleasure, blah, blah, blah, let's get this over with.

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen-- !

<burlesque-house hooting and cheering>

Thank you, thank you!! I love you all!!

Audience Member: Show us your--oof!! <dragged away by Smilie-Sister bouncers>

Announcer: Next, we have !

<applause descends to "polite" level>

Didn't have anything else to do today...

Announcer: And here's !

Glad to be here--so far...
 

As well as !

Greetings and Salutations!

Announcer: And who could forget ?

<applause now has some catcalls>

It's OK...I don't mind...

[UBB Code Edited]

[ 20 June 2001: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

And of course there's ...

<wild cheering>

Audience: ! ! ! !

What is it?? Don't hurt me!

<even wilder cheering>

[UBB Code Edited]

[ 20 June 2001: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

Which leads us to ...

<applause again more polite>

My public!

Announcer: And finally...our winner, !

<standing ovation>

Oh, shut up!

<screams of delight>
 

It seems like some of you out there actually care these Smilies exist, so let's take some questions from the audience...
 

Buy one of the couple of zillion articles being churned out covering every ******* detail of my life if you want to know anything else, you cheap bastard.

Well, I suppose you're done answering the question--

And you'd better watch yourself, smartass...

--so who else wants their curiosity appeased?...
 

<audience laughter>

.

[ 24 June 2001: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

[code fixed]

[ 21 June 2001: Message edited by: clare ]
 

Artistic enough for me, I should say!

I thought there were going to be refreshments.

Please, please, it's the pathetic losers in the audience who have the floor. Next question...
 

's pop-sensation career is still in its planning stages, but we will throw out enough tidbits--

The two of you?...<contemptuous chuckling>

Ooo, I've been looking for a new agent--

The possibilities are intriguing...

Your possibilities and hers probably aren't coinciding.

Oh, look who deigned to speak!
 

Why you--

Sorry to break up this shipmeet, but we'll take a few more questions and then go into the obligatory clips-from-old-episodes. Anyone?

>Yeah, which one of you's the Christian? I mean, all these reality shows have one.
 

I would have guessed it was ...

Well, I would have guessed it was you, ...

What about ? She does look like Nicky Gumbel.

Nicky Gumbel??? How could you say that??? My own agent!!!<sobs>

Just need one more "startling revelation" and then I can go home...

.

[ 24 June 2001: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

Love
Angel
 

Sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities.

Offend this, Fauntleroy--

<CRASH>

That was a perfectly good spotlight

This is so Jerry Springer.

You mean Geraldo.

<wheeze, hack> Well, I'll be enjoying Christmas with the proceeds from the multi-million-dollar lawsuit...
 

Now that the series has wound itself down, it is time for the academic types to discuss the relevance of it all. Grandiose themes, obscure allusions, and multi-syllabic jargon are encouraged. Cameos by Smilies are allowed.

To begin...

Smilie Sister--an affirmation of Jungian/Campbellian archetypes?

It is perhaps paradoxical but certainly obervable that technologically synthesized appeals to demographics still create resonances to pre-industrial allegory. One need only see the earlier, well-documented case of Gilligan's Island:

Professor--Pride
Ginger--Lust
Mary Ann--Envy
Mr. Howell--Avarice
Mrs. Howell--Sloth
Skipper--Gluttony & Anger
Gilligan--Satan

But how would the Smilies be designated, and to what system?
 

Time to close the door on Smilie Sister and head off to another hugly popular incredibly commercial strangely compulsive money making venture.

The next eight posts are reserved for each of our wonderful star contestants to bid goodbye, in the order of their eviction , , , , , , and finishing with our viewers choice survivor... .

The thread will then be locked and archieved.
 

See ya--resist everything but Temptation!
 

I hate goodbyes, so I'm off to the green room to cry.
 

Thanks for nothing, but I'm feeling generous, though, so here's some parting advice, Sparky--

GET OFF THE ******' INTERNET AND GET A LIFE!!!!