1. If you must do this, at least have the courtesy to pay for your use of bandwidth. This is not a free advertising space for your ego or the little coterie of admierers you are amassing around yourself;

2. You are sadly mistaken in your assessment of that person's character - I hope you learn the truth before it's too late. If you don't like it, set up your own website and whinge about it there, but don't waste my or anybody else's time;

3. The Christian faith is just something that pays the mortgage for you, isn't it?

4. Gives you a good excuse, doesn't it? Think no-one would notice?

5. To degenerate from quite a nice person to this in 3 years takes a certain amount of skill, I grant you.

6. Oh, if only.
 

Can I direct you to the commandment that says 'attack the issue, not the person', arsehead?
 

What is it actually about?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dyfrig:
I'll attach more than the issue to your arse in a minute if you don't shut up.

---

Bring it on, nature boy.
 

Mind you at least they thought about it unlike some one else.
 

As for you, Garryowenman, I suggest you stick it up and under.
 

My arnt is a sychyertrst.
My favrite fim is Space balls
 

Possibly all three.
 

Because I'm far too big and clever.
 

In the meantime, if you're reading this, I know what you said, and frankly if you're that self-deluded you need to think long and hard about a whole lot of stuff, and your pronouncements show how thoroughly wrong you are about your assessment of your own abilities. Grow up.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by gbuchanan:
I still don't know what's going on, but I'm toying between bringing on a circle of onlookers chanting "Fight, Fight, Fight" in the best playground tradition, sitting back in a deckchair and offering odds, or standing on the sidelines with a pint of Fosters or somesuch.

Possibly all three.

---

Fosters
 

Your church may be very beautiful, but your character is real ugly.
 

Nightlamp the real ale fan
 

Tubbs
 

I know this. I'm a scientist. So back off.
 

p.s. what is wrong with scientists ?
 

quote:

---

what is wrong with scientists ?

---

I certainly on't have a beard, and wear socks with sandles.
 

quote:

---

This thread is a joke, right...?

---

Nay, brother, nay, nay neig...
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by splosh:

I wear socks with sandles.

---

Did you know that you can now buy socks to wear with flip-flops? Sad, but true.
 

Well, this would be all terribly interesting were it not coming from someone who has changed traditions more often than most people move house.

Oh, and no, you can't quote the rule book at me - you surrendered any right to that many months ago.

You're lucky I keep my word better than some other people I could mention.
 

But hey, that's the least of your faults, so don't worry about it...
 

I honestly cannot believe that someone like you would have such monumental cranial diahorrea all over a place like this. Well, I am just glad that I can walk out, and don't have to clean up the mess. I am glad I don't live with you, you arsesucking fuckwit.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by David:
Anyone else know what Eb'lis is?

---

Here we go. I knew you'd be crawling out from under your rock around now.

Back in your bottle, my little djinn.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dyfrig:
Here we go. I knew you'd be crawling out from under your rock around now.

Back in your bottle, my little djinn.

---

I knew it. Another bloody gin thread.
 

I've only two things to say to your message:

1. Why the hell would you want to be proud of that? and

2. No - you don't.

I'm out of here.
 

this is final
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sHag mE n'g':
Who are you to call anything pathetic supid and arrogant.

My arnt is a sychyertrst.
My favrite fim is Space balls

---

Ooooooooh! I'm SO scared I could yawn!
 

This being hell, heating and flames are not a problem - and the icebox is starting to melt, so get your orders in quick.

Current odds are evens on Ham'n'Eggs vs sHag mE n'g'.

Anyone got a parasol?
 

Yet another thread combining the talents of the usual collection of microcephalic halfwits who, as always, think that they are Noel Coward and St Thomas Aquinas rolled into one.

How very interesting.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by gbuchanan:
We need something to go on the virtual barbeque to go with the virtual drink.

---

I have a list of shipmates I don't like. We could start with that.
 

doncha just 'love' those learned types.

jcwslncsoejfsf f;lsfkj 'pwoejr opiuf lskjf #
 

Origenist swine. (Don't bother to deny it. I saw your "Allegories Rule" T-shirt and trading card collection)

Laura

[ 30 May 2002: Message edited by: Laura ]
 

ever EVER again
 

How deluded can you get!
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
I have a list of shipmates I don't like. We could start with that.

---

So have I. Trouble is, you're on it.

And as for the loser who thinks s/he can say what they want because they slept with the dead horse....All I can say is that they're a stupid prick.

Viki

PS Cheers guys for livening up my day and giving me a good laugh
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Laura:

Origenist swine.

---

I hardly think someone with a background in schismatic Quakerism is in a position to throw allegations of following heresiarchs.

Anyway, "Origen" is an anagram of "ignore", which is what I shall be doing to this thread from now on.
 

I note, BTW, that a celebrity guest has joined us.

Father Jack seems very unconcerned with food, but drink supplies are getting low.

A separate barbeque is being set up for the vegetarians - veggies who want to barbeque shipmates may decide for themselves whether to use the carnivorous barbie, or to establish a third one specifically for the job.

In celebration of the quality of this thread, and the posting of some shipmates, a lorryload of tripe has arrived, which is just offal.

The bread on offer is rumored to have similar bread-like qualities to that stuff they use at communion.

I trust that this fine fare will sate the appetites of the inhabitants of Hell.
 

All Saints--is that your target? 'cause if so , you just ain't got the looks for it girlfriend! *snap*

Sieg
 

Viki
 

When you finally get around to reading the freakin' guidelines, you might just get it into your puerile little mind WHAT THE HELL IT IS I AM TRYING TO SAY HERE.

And no, I'm not entering into a debate with you until you LISTEN TO REASON. I don't even know why I bother. In fact, I'm not going to any more.
 

And yeah, I know I said I was going away. But I'm still gonna hang around being rude and obnoxious. Deal with it.
 

You haven't listened to a point anyone has made here, and besides, I've been emailed by thirty-seven people who do not wish to be named who are all disaffected and who utterly support me in this.
 

And don't think I'm agreeing with you chalky. I'm not.

Viki
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sarkycow:
And don't think I'm agreeing with you chalky. I'm not.

---

Indeed. Perish the thought of you actually agreeing with anyone.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dyfrig:

I hardly think someone with a background in schismatic Quakerism is in a position to throw allegations of following heresiarchs.

---

Liar. I have returned to the Anglican fold. They gave me back my staff and magic stones. I shall smite you with them.

quote:

---

Anyway, "Origen" is an anagram of "ignore", which is what I shall be doing to this thread from now on.

---

That is a heretical anagram. The true anagram of "Origen" is "Norgie", or what happens when Swen and Ole and Lena and Haakon get it on. Origen would have said they'd all be saved anyway. But you don't know that because you

don't get it.

Pathetic loser.

Laura
 

This neither nurturing, nor is it warm and fuzzy.

And THIS IS SO WRONG. All of you, I know that inside you're warm, caring people and that this Ship thing is twisting you and making you all cold and spiky.

So I'm leaving.

Forever.

Goodbye.

This is mya last post ever.
 

I hate you all.

But I don't hate you, I hate what you've all become.

So I hate you.

But I don't.
 

quote:

---

So I hate you. But I don't.

---

yeah, well, as if we give a shit.
 

Do it, and I will taunt you a second time.
 

Leave then, that's fine by me. Just don't think I'll let you clamber aboard again. I've done that far too many times, and we are all sick to death of you apologising and then being exactly the same when you're allowed to return. So there.

Viki
 

i am not reading this thread and am not posting any more on it.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wood:
And another thing. ....

But I don't.

---

You have hurt several of my feelings. It is my civil, human, and moral right not to have even one of my feelings hurt. I hate you. I care not how much I hurt your feelings. It is my civil right also to use free speech to offend you freely. If you complain, I will assault you for getting upset like a big girl's blousie.

Oh, and to those peddling popcorn, stoppit. This hurts my feelings, too.
 

None of which I plan to correct, incidentally. At least, not until I've made such a song and dance of it that everyone hates me.

So HA.
 

Be warned!

Neil
 

So yeah, I've forgotten my point, but you're an immature hypocrite.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by chukovsky [a delicate shade of mud]:
I'll have you know I have friends in high places...

---

You have friends?
 

tomb
 

I think you'll find it's spelt 'mise en scène'
 

can't we all just get along?
 

Don't mess with me, monkey boy, or I'll grind you up.

tp,b
 

This does not apply to Dyfrig, who I have decided I like solely on the grounds that he is Welsh, in order to stir up some racial divisiveness. Welsh people are good. They can stay. The rest of you should damn well grow up, get a life, get your hair cut and get a proper job. Have a nice day.
 

Must we descend into the sad realm of fantasy now?

Good God, we'll have the trekkies out soon.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
This does not apply to Dyfrig, who I have decided I like solely on the grounds that he is Welsh, in order to stir up some racial divisiveness. Welsh people are good. They can stay. The rest of you should damn well grow up, get a life, get your hair cut and get a proper job. Have a nice day.

---

You have to like me then, too, because I am handicapped and pitiful and add to diversity in this way. And I just got a haircut. In fact, everyone has to like me, because it would be unChristian for everyone not to.

Double ha!
 

And if you can say what you damm well please, then so can tomb. So shut it, you tart.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by tomb:
Just because you have one of those effeminate European keyboards and can add "e's" to silly words means nothing to me.

tp,b

---

Just because tombe is a feminine noun, that doesn't mean that my keyboard is effeminate. I still harbour suspicions that you are a secret romantic. Besides, Europe was here before you were born, so we don't have to play baseball. Perhaps you should learn how to play cricket, then emigrate to France to teach them all you know about our national sport.
 

Viki: you are at the top of my barbeque list, and will shortly be sliced into small pieces and fed slowly to the piranhas that infest the waters around this ship. Don't take it personally.

Jean Michel has a gay keyboard?? How politically correct can you get!
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Clyde:
Excuse me. But I wonder whether someone would
kindly tell the rest of us (who are not obviously in the know) what has caused all this aggrevation.

---

JUST READ THE BLODDY THREAD WILL YOU? Sheesh, I can't believe some people can be so stoopid.
 

now come on, all of you, kiss and make up.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jean Michel:
Just because tombe is a feminine noun, that doesn't mean that my keyboard is effeminate. I still harbour suspicions that you are a secret romantic. Besides, Europe was here before you were born, so we don't have to play baseball. Perhaps you should learn how to play cricket, then emigrate to France to teach them all you know about our national sport.

---

tombe pisses on your keyboard and farts at your cricket and goes off to eat an heretick for lunch.
 

And for any shit-for-brains who DARES to bring up that I left a word out on my previous post--let me tell you a little story. Far away, there's this magical place called REAL LIFE and it's full of people who have other things to do than put everything they type through a fuckin' Spellcheck. The End.
 

Neil
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoo:
Good God, we'll have the trekkies out soon.

---

[DISCLAIMER]
Just to be on the safe side...
I'm going on the assumption that this thread is for silly insults, with no genuine harm intended.
I suppose it's ironic that the guy whose favourite pastimes often involve the deliberate infliction of pain (drawing the line at genuine damage or blood) is trying to be as careful as he is. Then again, maybe not.

David
safe, sane and consensual orthodox guy
[/DISCLAIMER]

Where were we? Ah, Trekkies.

"Qu'vatlh guy'cha b'aka!"

David
non-Trekkie/Trekker/whatsis orthodox guy who really hopes he doesn't regret this, but golly gee whillickers, there is no Resources for Hell, there is only Zuul, so he might as well pepper his posts everywhere else with his magic links'o'doom, or something, as his sigs get longer and longer, bigger and uncut, oh baby, no wait, that was ripped off from South Park, can't use it, somebody stop me, no that's from the Mask, oops, bleah, blark, fnord, Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhlan, etc.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by tomb:
tombe pisses on your keyboard and farts at your cricket and goes off to eat an heretick for lunch.

---

tomb, if you farted at my cricket I'd be obliged to take it personally on the cricket's behalf. But I don't own one so you can't. Too bad.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by nicolemrw:
how dare you suggest that i would be remotly even interested in harrassing you, you, you, you.... ferret, you!!!!

---

Ahem! But I think you're taken anyway...

Where is St. Sebastian, anyway, with that adorable little goatee of his?

Oh, right, insults. Hmm. Not very good at this. If I hit on the straight male Shipmates it might creep them out just a tad. That would not be cricket, flatulent or otherwise.

Scarily, I've seen websites devoted to flatulence as a fetish, but perhaps that's just a tad too much information.

I'll stop now.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
So I cross-posted! Clean the drool off your pocket protector and deal!

---

That is so typical of you to cross post, I always knew your timing was awful.

Neil
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChastMastr:
...Oh, right, insults. Hmm. Not very good at this...

---

Then why the hell are you wasting our time???

Sheesh--here's a quarter, buy a clue.
 

(Run away now. Go on! Scat!)

"The pun... oh, the pun..."
--- not Deanna Troi
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
As for you, Neil--I could Meow-Ffft right back at you, but I just won't for reasons you couldn't possibly understand.

---

I could out-meow-Ffft you anyday!

Neil
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
Then why the hell are you wasting our time???

---

"I guess you could call IT the Happiest Sadist. That's s-a-d-i-s-t, not s-a-d-d-e-s-t. Most people don't pronounce it correctly."
-- misremembered from A Wrinkle in Time
 

* Don't answer. I'm not interested in the explanation.
 

quote:

---

Because I'm sadistic.

---

the trouble with you, chastmastr, is you think thats a good thing.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
I can't wait for these boards to be closed down so I can get a break from this stuff.

---

Knock yourself out--you won't be missed.
 

quote:

---

And the trouble with you, Nicole, is that you never know when to just SHUT UP.

---

well ooohhh ooohhh ooohhhh.... if you don't llike the posts, just don't read 'em.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by nicolemrw:
well ooohhh ooohhh ooohhhh.... if you don't llike the posts, just don't read 'em.

---

Oh, good idea. But wait - I've got a better one. Since your posts are all crap (and everyone hates you anyway), why don't you just not write them?

Yeah, Einstein, didn't think of that one, did ya?
 

Get a life.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by nicolemrw:
the trouble with you, chastmastr, is you think thats a good thing.

---

How S-C-A-R-Y.

Listen, when you've got the chromosomes which give you the tiniest chance of winning a contest with me in either brains or brawn, we'll talk again.

Until then, I can only suggest that those of the inferior sex contemplate the immortal words of Saint Paul:

"I do not permit a woman to teach
or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
 

SHIP-OF-FOOLS SAILS THROUGH MILLION IN A MONTH MARK FOR FIRST TIME

Now I hope they don't find with this sad little corner of the site...
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belisarius:
Knock yourself out--you won't be missed.

---

If I thought you'd miss me I'd be seriously worried.
 

--------------
"I am proud of being fettered ... and enslaved ..."
-- G.K. Chesterton

I mean, how do you insult a guy who's into that sort of thing?

"You -- you top, you!"

"Oh, you cad! How could you? *sob!*"

Just doesn't work.

David
painting great big targets on himself

(And vaguely annoyed no one got his admittedly disgusting "scat" joke)
 

quote:

---

Two little ladies trying to take on a man?

---

Where?
 

Well, methinks it's time for a signature change... and Chast, we all know that the only cad around here, when you really get down to it*, is you.

(*= All innuendo entirely intentional.)
 

Sigh.

Hellish Hug Attack!

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG!

Oh well.
 

Pa-thet-ic.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Francis Xavier:
when you really get down to it*, is you.

(*= All innuendo entirely intentional.)

---

Pilot in crashing plane: "This bird's going down!"
Queer Duck: "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

But that's just a logical fellacy.

Queer Duck
 

quote:

---

We at Showtime Online express our apologies; however, these pages are intended for access only from within the United States.

---

What kind of xenophobic, Americanocentric, patriotic-crypto-fascist crap are you trying to pull here, exactly?

(And btw, "get down to it" can be valid innuendo. A more general reference to sexual congress - unlike the rather specific "going down on" which you proposed as a correction.

So there.)
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ancient Mariner:
This thread makes such depressing reading having just posted the following press release on The Styx and released it to the world's media:

SHIP-OF-FOOLS SAILS THROUGH MILLION IN A MONTH MARK FOR FIRST TIME

Now I hope they don't find with this sad little corner of the site...

---

Can any of the rest of you read?
 

Hmmm.

Fortunately, I used my magic link-finding abilities to find a UK site which has it for you.

The one with that quote is Episode 9, by the way, "Wedding Bell Blues." One of the best ones.

Yes, Bi-Polar Bear is one of my favourites...

More info can be found at Cyber Cinema.

"Queer Duck! He's intellectual! Queer Duck! He's homosexual". Complete with catchy Top Cat style theme tune, the web's molliest mallard is back onscreen, debating with animal chums Openly Gaytor and Bi-Polar Bear whether he should come out to his parents. Nobody could ever take our hero for straight, so it all turns into a swishy funfest, with even closeted Oscar Wildecat considering his options : "If I came out, it would kill mother... I'll do it tonight". Spoilsports at Showtime.com will only allow US web users to access the rest of the series, so Cybercinema has helpfully dug up the following link from those nice people at Gay TV, for anyone who's keen for seconds. Bon appetit.

David
orthodox guy who forgot to include an insult this time, which is the greatest insult of all

he guesses
 

*Drinks anyone or some little intresting cheesy snacks with some special ones for the Vegans ah yes gluten free rice cakes over there.*
 

David
really does love his Shipmates, with no irony at all
Off to watch Will and Grace with Joe and his Foster Uncle's partner
 

a 'rest time'?

What do you think this is - a game?

If you can't take the heat...
 

quote:

---

Oh, good comeback, Arietty. Well worth the twenty minutes it took you to come up with it.

---

In your dreams Frannie babes.

It'd take a damn sight more than 20 minutes for me to 'come up with it' for you, you phallocentric eunuch.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Arietty:
In your dreams Frannie babes.

It'd take a damn sight more than 20 minutes for me to 'come up with it' for you, you phallocentric eunuch.

---

My, my... I'd heard of "penis envy" before, but never seen its existence so dramatically proven.

Hope you learn to be comfortable with your (admittedly lesser) status one of these days.
 

What can I say?!

With that killer blow, all is lost.
 

Anyone caught singing Kumbayah will be forced to clean the ships' heads for the entire two weeks of drydock. With a toothbrush. Anyone caught holding hands while singing anything will be banned immediately.

Dyfrig, don't think I've forgotten you started this whole thing.
 

*You may have noticed the chocolate gateau over there between the carrot cake and summer pudding*

Ahhh yes Kumbayah was a song that oringinates some where in the US (s Carolina) amongst a group of isolated african-americans.

Oh yes any one for ice cream?
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Arietty:
Two little ladies trying to take on a man?

---

You know guys (heterosexual ones, I mean -- no offense, David) dream about stuff like this.
 

quote:

---

Kumbayah, my Lord, Kumbahah,
Kumbayah, my .,mm
adfgkj
iadfgjio
ad;oihj gasd;oj aagoij

---

Ow! That hurt. What gave you the right to do that, you midget heresiarch?

(tomb loves the word "heresiarch" and will use.it.)
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:
Anyone caught holding hands while singing anything will be banned immediately.

---

Fah who for-aze
Dah who dor-aze
Welcome Christmas
Christmas Day
Welcome, Welcome
Fah who rah-moose
Welcome, Welcome
Dah who dah-moose
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to claaaaaasp...

Just one of those uncontrollable urges, I guess. I couldn't resist!
 

Fortunately for the posters, none of those agencies are are talking to each other right now...

(turning my back to the class, writing on the blackboard...waiting for the spitball to ping on my neck...)
 

*Plain or milk chocolate?*
 

Oh, no, that's Vulcans, isn't it? Sorry.

Mr Mariner - given that bastion of Anglican bitchery, the News of the Church Times, is a great fan of ours (and quoted in the press release), I'm sure many of the contributors to their comment and letters pages would be well at home here.
 

how many times do i have to tell you that ?

i am not reading this any more.
 

I seem to have a devil's food cake in front of me, would anyone like some?
 

Is Devils food cake appropriate for a christian meeting, do you think??

MadKaren
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by madkaren:

Is Devils food cake appropriate for a christian meeting, do you think??

---

It's better than quiche.

Ariel - I don't think you're taking this thread seriously enough.

I am still ignoring all of you.

Particularly Beenster.
 

I would have thought devil's food cake was perfectly appropriate for Hell. If you prefer savoury to sweet, have some devilled ham'n'eggs or a chilli pepper instead.

I am ignoring Dyfrig.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nightlamp:
fruits of the forest?

---

But then, I would.
 

except dyfrigs.

i have nothing further to say. understood?
 

Right, now's my chance to be clever. Um, what shall I write? How about....no, that's too rude. Or this....no, only [insert favourite minority group here (gay is fine, evangelical is even better)]s are allowed to take the piss out of themselves so I can't do that. You know, this is really difficult - trying to be rude without being specifically rude to anyone about anything sensitive. Oh well, I'll just pussy out and be vague and sort of insulting but to no-one in particular and certainly not about anything they actually care about. Oh no.

Yup, a whole thread dedicated to being rude without actually causing offense. How very cathartic.
 

Bottom line: I'm going to kick your ass. Everyone's ass. Not just Dyfrig's.
 

quote:

---

I'm going to kick your ass. Everyone's ass. Not just Dyfrig's.

---

Like to see you try

Tubbs
 

And you can shut up as well. you're the one that's carrying this whole thing on. The rest of us wouldn't be posting if it wasn't for you keep trying to be smart and failing miserably. Why don't you phone some one that cares? Oh, nobody cares? Well what a frikking surprise. Not.
 

No but I fancy a beef burger with relish and fries so I'd watch yourself. *Smack*

Tubbs
 

HOW CAN IT BE MY FAULT?! I am not reading this thread. Or contributing. Unlike everyone else who are a bunch of losers and need to get a life.

Tubbs
 

• Write all your fascinating thoughts down on a piece of paper
• Fold up that piece of paper
• Place it in an envelope
• Affix a stamp
• And mail it to someone who gives a £&*%

Cheers.
 

Then you've got a big head
 

This is a CHRISTIAN website and those FRIGGIN ASSHATS who don't know how to behave should **** off up their own orifices and stay there till someone notices.

Which will be a FRIG of a long time since no-one who is worth considering even NOTICES what the **** the rest of you mingin' TAT SUCKERS posts.

Certainly not me. If anyone can give me one good reason to read anthing the rest of hyou have posted in this thread I might consider it.

MIGHT. That's a subjunctive.

So up yours Francis Xavier, like I've even READ your sexist whinging, let alone admitted your obsession with your no doubt tiny donger into my consciousness.
 

Wow, THAT'S sexy.
 

quote:

---

Wow, THAT'S sexy.

---

Pervert

Tubbs
 

And as for you, Anna, in all Christian charity, I have two points to make. How come that baby you're nourishing has gotten so big, do you think? He's thriving on Hell, I tell you, putting on all the weight of the devil's hors d'oeuvres! And the second point? Try kicking anyone and you're gonna tip right over.
 

That's pretty rich coming from someone whose signature quotes the "Cosmic Rough Riders".

I mean, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you some kind of intergalactic deviant?

Sick.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:

Wow, THAT'S sexy.

---

Well I have to say that's just typical of the standard of poster on here. Coming on to a married woman. Call yourself a Christian? I hope they revoke your membership.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by chukovsky [a delicate shade of mud]:
Coming on to a married woman.

---

Better than coming all over a married woman.

Anyone know the footie score?
 

PS Loser.
PPS Aargh. I forgot to ignore your post, damn it.
PPS I am now ignoring your post.
PPPS And you.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by frigDy:

Anyone know the footie score?

---

Yes, thanks.
 

Not that i know what is being said as i haven't read any of it and as i said i wouldn't be posting again on this thread i stand by my statement and won't be reading or posting any more on this thread.

until the next time
 

Why on earth are the hosts tolerating this farrago of frankly eigth rate solipsistic drivel.

Get a life Cholestrol man!!!
 

quote:

---

Are you some kind of intergalactic deviant?

---

Yes. And what do you have to say about it animal boy?

Tubbs
 

quote:

---

hand-waving, maraca-shaking glossolaliac!

---

Amos -

In stating that I have shaken anyone's maracas, you are suggesting I have contravened SOF Prime Directive No.1 (A), Don't be a jerkoff

This in turn puts you in contravention of Commandments 1-10 and possibly others.

But will the Hosts do anything about it? No, of course not. But if I was to even so much as call you a two-faced tatohoilic, they'd be dwon on me like a ton of bricks.

Even though it's true.

Unless you apologise forthwith I will hack into the boards and shut them down. I can and I will.

And then I will scream and scream until I'm sick. Preferably into someone's second-best thurible. The one with the slightly bent chain.
 

can you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, it is the singing of a people who will...
 

DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!
 

Now we have to suffer the indignity of showtunes.

Is nothing bloody sacred?!
 

Go screw yourself.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dyfrig:
You couldn't be more sick-makingly sycophantic if you tried.

---

Sick-makingly? Cancel your subscription to your dictionary; it's not getting through.
 

And Stoo, stop complaining about the showtunes, you know you love them, you closeted oogler of Calvin Klein underwear mags.
 

ATTICUS = anagram of TIT SUCA

Which clearly means "tit sucker". Now I wonder why you chose that name, eh? Might it just be that the real repressed weirdo round here is you? Might it be that you are the one who ogles old ladies on buses, and gets aroused watching Countdown? Pervert!

I rest my case.
 

And that's ALL I have to say on this issue.

annie
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Francis Xavier:
Well, let's see who the real sexual freak around here is...

---

That may well be true, but I can't think of any (purportedly) amusing anagrams of your name

[Realises post lacks abuse]

And Annie, who asked for your opinion, dear? Learn to engage brain before hands next time.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:
and they make my butt look good.

---

Your butt wouldn't look good in a top hat.

And don't think I don't know what I'm talking about - I oogle [sic] Calvin Klein underwear mags.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:
your angry posts just make you look childish and me look extremely intelligent.

---

Dreama. You're nothing but a dreama.
--Roger Hodgson
 

quote:

---

I don't spend my time playing sophomoric word-games with my tits or anyone elses.

---

Yeah, like anyone else's tits would be interested.
 

1 Hezekiah 5:13-22

If you are too LAZY to go home and OPEN your BIBLE, then I have NOTHING more to SAY.

annie
who is secretly pleased that someone noticed her post.....well, not so secretly I guess
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:
I don't spend my time playing sophomoric word-games with my tits or anyone elses.

---

Ah. Graduate-level word-games, then? Or just upperclass word-games? Or sophomoric word-games with other body parts?

PS "my tits" is an anagram for Misty T.
 

Unless YOU are WILLING to take SCRIPTURE SERIOUSLY, then this argument is going NOWHERE.

annie
 

quote:

---

Yeah, like anyone else's tits would be interested.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:
can you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, it is the singing of a people who will...

---

No singing, damnit!

And as of Saturday midnight (UK time) you're all suspended for two weeks.

[Changed "banned" to "suspended" - don't want to be accused of being Insensitive to Others' Needs. Barf.]

[ 31 May 2002: Message edited by: RuthW ]
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Atticus:
I can see this has turned into a big witch hunt.

---

Right, so you're looking for a big witch with massive bazookas presumably.

Sexist Pagan.
 

'gangin' has a 'g' on the end.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Arietty:
Right, so you're looking for a big witch with massive bazookas presumably.

Sexist Pagan.

---

Oh I get it now, you're doing the whole politically correct thing again aren't you!

Well let me just remind your ultra-feminine ass that burning bras and man hating was sooo 1980's!!

Come back to 00's where we burn the lesbians insted.

Yours homophobically,

...Lev
 

FOOD FIGHT!

(more serious note, this may be my last post before the boards go down, so love and kisses everyone, til we meet again.)
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lev:
Well let me just remind your ultra-feminine ass that burning bras and man hating was sooo 1980's!!

---

It's not as ultra feminine as some people's, so I've heard.

Oh and Atticus - bitch, witch, what's the difference? You're clearly gagging for a sight of someone's mammaries.

Well here's news for you - despite your subtle, charming and Hugh Grant-like courtship ritual, it ain't gonna be mine.

Oh, sorry, Mr Syntactically Retentive - I mean they ain't gonna be mine.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Arietty:
Right, so you're looking for a big witch with massive bazookas presumably.

Sexist Pagan.

---

Stop knocking non-Christians and using Pagan as a term of insult. Pagans are good people who respect the environment and care about nature. They do no harm to anyone, so put a sock in it before I get out my grimoire and turn you into a toad.

Not that it would take much doing, you seem to be halfway there already. Have a nice night. If you can.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
put a sock in it before I get out my grimoire

---

Oh do get your grimoire out, I am sure Atticus would like a look and the rest of us can close our eyes.
 

quote:

---

Well here's news for you - despite your subtle, charming and Hugh Grant-like courtship ritual, it ain't gonna be mine.

---

The flattery is noted, but I'll apply Mousethief's words to you:

quote:

---

Dreama. You're nothing but a dreama.
--Roger Hodgson

---

<nightlamp scans the room for ladies>
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Francis Xavier:
That may well be true, but I can't think of any (purportedly) amusing anagrams of your name

---

However, the one no-one has thought of, ironically, is that someone could tell me where I can

CRAM my ASSHAT
 

Ugh. Do it yourself, mate.
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amos:

Ugh. Do it yourself, mate.

---

FEED A GHOSTLY TUMOUR.

But I can still insult people with your own words. Just, you know, rearranged.

THOU GOUTY FEDERALISM!

Oh, a cute bear with a HOT TUM -- ORGY? FEUDALISE!

Perhaps that cute bear could be HOGTIED -- what a SEAMY FUR LOUT!

Perhaps he could also be quite pious as well as furry, cute and gay, and be a GODLY FAERIE, letting out a Charismatic TUM SHOUT!

UROLOGY HUT? DEFEATISM! (... even I don't get this one, nor am I sure I want to. Perhaps it has to do with watersports...)

I'll stop now. And all of these are from your original text, UGH, DO IT YOURSELF, MATE.
 

No more showtunes.

IF

Francis and David give up the anagrams.
 

quote:

---

Nnnnnnot a daaaaay goes byyyyy... Not a blessss-ed daaaaaay... but you're some-where a part of my liiiiiife... and it looks like you'll staaaaaay...

---

*clears throat* This is for my idol, Ethel...

You'll be swell, You'll be great!
You can have the whole world on a plate!
Starting here, starting now honey
everything's comin' up roses...

Sieglenda
 

quote:

---

Give 'em hell, give 'em hate
You're gonna be back, I can't wait
Come on in, take a limb
Until everyone's pushing up daisies

You're a brute, you're a hoot
Gonna crush the whole world 'neath your boot
Killing teens, hear them scream
Until everyone's pushing up daisies ...

I can hear you answering all of my questions
I can feel you rummaging through my intestines

Throwing up! Getting sick!
Brah, I gotta get outa here quick
You're the cream! You're the top!
Rage on, dude! Never stop!
That short sharp shock they talk about is due
Jason, Everyone's pushing up daisies and daffodils
Everyone's gonna get gooshed 'til you get your fill ...

Black eyes and bright bloody noses for me and for you!!!!

---

From, naturellement, Jason! The Musical
 

--------------------
still glowing from having my charm compared to Hugh Grant
Atticus
 

"Be a Man!" from Mulan

Happy?
 

A sparrow in a hat can make a happy home,
and a flea can bite the bottom of the pope in Rome,
...
So never kick a dog, because he's just a pup,
you better run for cover when the pup grows up,
yes we'll fight like fifty armies and we won't give up!
See ya'll in August(this time I mean it)

oh, and wash your mouths out with soap you filthy trash talkers. I'm so glad I haven't sunk to your level...
 

quote:

---

petulantly snivelled by Hang smEg to whom I really can't be arsed to say a word:
Stop ignoring me dammit! I demand to be suspended!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amos:
Arietty--I cannot say how heavy my heart was in reading your post......Your feeble attempt at slanging droops and pales beside the coffee-time chat of any WI in my town.

---

Just a little tip Amos - I'd keep your membership of Wankers International quiet if I were you. It doesn't cut much ice with the C of E hierarchy. For obvious reasons.
 

I thought this was a party that has got a bit out of hand.

Cigar anyone?
 

Stoo... We're trekkers... not trekees. So there!

FX... I was a lurking fan of your posts until now. Your Pauline quote and macho crap has disappointed me dreadfully!

All of you... I invited a friend to check out the site today... and this is what she's gonna see???? Be ashamed all of you.

Just for this, I'm not coming back for two weeks...

(in a huff...)
miz***tic***lisa
 

*rushes off to send supportive PM to literary genius with unrecognised soh*

*stunned at how many shipmates appear dragged into some sort of boggy murky pit with 2 other people*

*amused as Nightlamp's efforts to nourish and pacify throughout in soothing tones*

*walks off comprehending why she spends no time at in in Hell*

m
 

And I can't seem to get through to you lot how much I Do.Not.Care what you think. Shall I repeat myself for the hard-of-reading?

I.Do.Not.Care.What.You.Think.

So your whining and pathetic insults are a waste of bandwidth.
 

Remembered is an anagram of Erm. Breed me.
 

Too much singing, too much hand-holding (any amount of hand-holding in Hell is too much).

The lot of you are all suspended for the next two weeks.

Go outside. Get some fresh air.

RuthW
hellhost
 

Now drop and give me twenty!