Ship of Fools: Hell: On my 80th birthday I am going to ........

Thread: Hell: On my 80th birthday I am going to ........ Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

Start smoking again.

P

[ 19. June 2003, 18:02: Message edited by: Erin ]

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

My mother who has been smoking since she was 16 gave up a few months ago at the age of 76. She always says if she were told she had 6 months to live she would take it up again.

Huia - whose only smoking is the passive kind.

Posted by Sean D (# 2271) on :

On my 80th birthday I am going to be very glad I'm still alive.

Posted by Ags (# 204) on :

On my 80th birthday I am going to...

pee on my nurse's feet!
After all, people have been doing it to me for years - so, why the hell not?? [Devil]

Posted by Raspberry Rabbit (# 3080) on :

With Pyx_e I am going to buy a 25 pack of Players Light and have a cup of Tim Horton's coffee and a smoke.

Raspberry Rabbit
Montreal, QC

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I expect I shall probably be spinning in my grave. Alternatively, I have an increasingly long list of people I intend to haunt.

Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :

Tell people I'm 29, again.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Go Karting. [Two face]

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

At the risk of just wheeling out a list of "things I have to give up a day at a time but really can not wait til I am to old to care to do again" (which is what this thread is really about for me) I also wish to add:

Sit on a beach and get utterly wasted on blow.

Drink real coffee after 4.00 p.m.

Make a few inappropriate passes at young women (and maybe by then men?)

Moon the bishop.

P

Posted by Gambit (# 766) on :

To trans/di-gress slightly, on my 800th (and yes, I do mean that) birthday I'm going to think 'Why's it so dark in here?'

Posted by Columcille (# 1384) on :

Be decomposing.

I might be dead as well...

Posted by golden key (# 1468) on :

Slide down a banister, like the aged Indiana Jones in the "Young Indiana Jones" tv series. [Wink]

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :

.....assassinate somebody worth chopping, preferably in a country where they have both armed police and the death penalty, so that I don't have to die of old age.

Posted by Mad Geo (# 2939) on :

A friend of mine wants to form a Convalescent Home that is recreational-drug friendly.

The gardens would have some interesting weeds and fungi.

The motto would be:
"Kid's don't bother to come visit us, we are doing FINE."

Posted by Thumbprint (# 3056) on :

Having my children take care of me while I scatter my toys all over their house.

- turn about is fair play right? [Snigger]

Posted by Puffin (# 1295) on :

Blow out the candles and enjoy the cake

Posted by welsh dragon (# 3249) on :

With a glass of champagne and hopefully a cuddle...

Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :

Visit the graves of my enemies and laugh.

[Two face]

Posted by jedijudy (# 1059) on :

Daughter-Unit says I should go on a cruise and find a "hot" man.

She also says I will probably go to work and play the organ.

"Look! She's still alive! Do you think she'll make it up the platform? Oh, Geeez, she made it. When is she going to die so we can get a new, young organist???"

jj [Two face]

Posted by kenwritez (# 3238) on :

...hopefully have finally learnt how to write a good screenplay, and write them.

...still wink at my wife and grab her ass.

...admire my vast collection of baseball-style caps.

...enjoy an oak-grilled porterhouse steak with grilled onions, a side of french fries, and the best damn bottle of wine I can find.

Posted by JoyfulNoise & Parrot, O'Kief (# 2049) on :

Laugh

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

...STREAK! Streak, streak, STREAK! Flabby breasts and dangling buttocks everywhere, folks! It ain't gonna be pretty, but it must be done!

And after that I'm gonna take a nice hot bath while getting my feet rubbed by a smooth young man.

Anyone want to check up on me in 46 years?

Posted by tomb (# 174) on :

...piss in the front yard.

Posted by chukovsky (# 116) on :

Probably not very much, because if I take after anyone in my family I´ll be dead, or have another 10 years to live.

No-one has bothered making a big thing of 80th birthdays in our family, we had a couple of great 90ths and we´re coming up to one 95th...

Posted by auntbeast (# 377) on :

Get a bottle of really good Scotch, a bottle of exceptional wine, a chef to make dinner, and some strapping young "pool boy" to serve and amuse me. Of course I would be more than willing long before I am 80... any time now would be fine!

I remember once sitting in a bar in a small Northern town with a friend of mine who was in her early 50's then (I was in my mid 20's) and discussing age from our relative standpoints. My friend said "I can't wait until I am really old and can sit in the bar, drink, belch, fart, and grab young men's asses with impunity (sp?)... what the hell I think I shall practice!" and with that ordered another drink and went in search of some poor young man.

Here's to making it to 80 with our brains and bladder control intact!

All good things,
Auntbeast

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

tell that joke about the undertakers in the pulpit.

P

Posted by sarkycow (# 1012) on :

Or you could tell us it now.

Viki

Posted by nouwen (# 3103) on :

streak across a football pitch [Big Grin]

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :

Collect on my life insurance, if I haven't already. [Smile]

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :

That should have said "if my wife hasn't already."

Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on :

Wife or Life Insurance?

Posted by seadog (# 2931) on :

Fart openly in front of visitors.

Posted by PeteB (# 2357) on :

Be shot by a jealous husband whilst on my way home from an all-night party.

(After Roger McGough)

Posted by DorotheaLydgate (# 3893) on :

climb snowden.

Posted by Mad Geo (# 2939) on :

who's snowden?

Posted by DorotheaLydgate (# 3893) on :

a mountain in wales. my brother and I have a pact to climb it again, only because I think I'll be able to beat him when I'm 80 and he's 82.

Posted by sabine (# 3861) on :

write a "tell-all" book.

sabine

Posted by zephirine of the roses (# 3323) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
...STREAK! Streak, streak, STREAK! Flabby breasts and dangling buttocks everywhere, folks! It ain't gonna be pretty, but it must be done!

And after that I'm gonna take a nice hot bath while getting my feet rubbed by a smooth young man.

Anyone want to check up on me in 46 years?

LOL!

i'll join you and if we're unable to run, we'll lady godiva it with our wheelchairs. mine will have a sissy bar, a flathead motor with a kick-start and magenta leather uphostery.
[Yipee]

Posted by Mad Geo (# 2939) on :

ARRGHHH! The imagery, the imagery!! [Help]

Posted by zephirine of the roses (# 3323) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mad Geo:
ARRGHHH! The imagery, the imagery!!

you'll be wearing thick glasses by then. just take em off. or better yet...

join us! [Killing me]

Posted by Mad Geo (# 2939) on :

Yes, but I have a graphic imagination now!!!!!

Okay maybe if I can join in, that helps.....

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

[Killing me]

Nude old lady wheelchair drag racing! HOODY-HOO!

It's a date! [Yipee]

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ags:
On my 80th birthday I am going to...

pee on my nurse's feet!
After all, people have been doing it to me for years - so, why the hell not??

Why have I never seen this thread before - it's fantastic!

When I worked on an orthopaedic ward a few years ago we had a very similar discussion, and I am happy to report that should I be in hospital for my 80th with a fractured neck of femur, I have every intention of sleeping all day, screaming all night and being sexually inappropriate with the male nurses 60 years my junior.

However if I'm anywhere else I'd love to join Kelly and Zeph's nekkid bathchair race. Or perhaps we should go for a trans-Atlantic challenge maybe? [Two face]

Posted by ChrisT (# 62) on :

I will start reliving my misspent youth.

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :

Adopt a pensioner and look after them.

Posted by Clyde (# 752) on :

Does this thread not preclude and thereby descriminates against those of us who are already over eighty.? [Smile]

Posted by Arabella Purity Winterbottom (# 3434) on :

I want to be like my partner's mother, who is still active politically - she stopped travelling all over the world to UN gatherings at 80, but is still invited to speak and harrass governments fairly frequently.

Or my own mother, for that matter, who will probably be looking after "old" ladies.

Posted by Eminentisimo (# 3924) on :

Grow my nose hair.

It will look great flowing in the breeze in the nude wheel chair races.

Go Granny go!

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