quote:

---

Originally posted by Merseymike:
I've always wondered how evangelical Anglican vicars manage to give people who, under their definition, are 'non-Christian', a Christian burial ?

Seems hypocritical to me.

But even worse would be an explanation, at the funeral service , of how the loved one will be enjoying eternity roasting in the fires of hell, as befits one not washed in the blood of the lamb.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amos:
Oh, and my niece got Leviticus 13 as her Bat Mitzvah Portion. The whole Bat Mitzvah was centred on the theme.

---

Oh my. Bet the guests had hearty appetites at the party afterward.
 

---

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :
 
Uh huh! Bearing in mind that this event took place in Minnesota, I think we were very lucky to avoid lutefisk. As it was, the various composed salads and plates of cold cuts did not bear close examination after the sermon.

I've not yet heard a sermon on Judges 21: 'Now the Israelites had sworn at Mizpah, "No one of us shall give his daughter in marriage to Benjamin', illustrated by power-point with stills from The Graduate. But the day will come...
 

---

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
Since Father Biretta is still on his mission to Ibiza, today's guest preacher from Liverpool will take as his topic:

Evangelicalism and Anglo-Catholicism: Closer than you think!
 

---

Posted by Wally (# 3245) on :
 
Things I Tried Once in College.
 

---

Posted by Elizabeth Anne (# 3555) on :
 
There was a Monty Python sketch in which a vicar was about to give a sermon on Leviticus 3:14.

The sermon was not actually delivered, but it could have been interesting.
 

---

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
"The reading today is from a well known childrens song, that has important messages for us today. From Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star .... "

"As it is holiday season ..." ( This means because the preacher has been on holiday, they have not had time to prepare anything. Therefore we are going to get reflections on their holiday. )
 

---

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :
 
Today's Sermon:
"Illustrations from Janine's Diary:
What Not To Do"
 

---

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
The Sermon Series for the next few months is "Embracing and Redeeming Popular Culture".

Our first sermon in the series is entitled
The theological and liturgical implications of the song "Walk like an Egyptian".
 

---

Posted by Edward Green (# 46) on :
 
Hey a couple of you seem to be paranoid about your preachers knowing what you get up to ...

The sermon I would least like to hear, is one I am preaching:

"May I speak in the name of the Father, the Son ... owww, get off, who are you, hey I know you, I don't care if you ARE Peter Tatchell, look I am out already, and anyway you are embaressing my bishop who is here for the confirmation ....

ohhh ....."

Oh dear I have just broken the only rule on this thread.

[ 11. August 2003, 16:44: Message edited by: Edward Green ]
 

---

Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
"My sermon today has 112 points..."
 

---

Posted by G.R.I.T.S. (# 4169) on :
 
"Why I've decided to quit preaching and start selling insurance (or Amway or used cars)."
 

---

Posted by LatinMan (# 1892) on :
 
I offer two:

"Today, I would like to take my shot at the world's longest sermon."

or this:

"One time [LatinMan] told me in confession..."
 

---

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
Good morning everyone. Today we're going to try something a little different.

I want you to turn to your neighbor and...
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
Sine,

I have so often heard that one that I almost give up hope

[ 11. August 2003, 18:24: Message edited by: ken ]
 

---

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
Or its close cousin "I want you to close your eyes and..."
 

---

Posted by Edward Green (# 46) on :
 
Real life ones:

"I am a Postmillenialist; I believe in the Rapture."
(which as any fule kno is a contradiction)

And in any case any sermon that starts:

"Open your Bibles to the 17th verse of the 10th chapter of the book of Romans, 'now Faay-ith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the werd of Gard'"

or of course:

"I believe God is doing somthing new here this morning . . ."

The worst experience was at (junior) school from our ordained head,

"My wife and I enjoy sex very much . . ."

Which was only ecks-usable as she was rather pregnant.
 

---

Posted by Flounder (# 3859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by LatinMan:
...."Today, I would like to take my shot at the world's longest sermon."

---

At my church, the beginning of almost every sermon begins like so:

"Today, I would like to take a few moments to explore....." It means exactly the same thing.
 

---

Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on :
 
Today we're going to talk about confession. Let me get us started by telling you about my weekend with Deacon Smith's wife...
 

---

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :
 
Today, dear friends, we are going to explore our individual giving and whether or not we have answered the call the Lord God has given to us about commitment to our church. I have gathered the pledges each of you has made and have compared that to what has actually been given by you to date. I'd like to start with . . .
 

---

Posted by CorgiGreta (# 443) on :
 
This is for real, I swear. Last week according to the notice board, the sermon topic in the Unitarian-Universalist Church up the road was "The History of the Universalist Chruch in Southern California".

Things must be very slow there in the summer. It would surprise me if even the minister showed up.

Greta
 

---

Posted by Kenwritez (# 3238) on :
 
+ "Why Kenwritez is never, ever going to Heaven"

+ "A presentation of my best-fitting underwear"

+ "A list of our congregation's secret sins"

+ "A detailed explanation of the TCP/IP network transmission protocol"

+ "Jesus: Just another figment of our imagination"

+ "Is necrophilia a sin?"

+ "Welcome to colostomy bag and hernia scar Sunday!"

+ "Pantomime church fathers"

+ "Part 1 of 27: Process theology highlights"

+ "Sex solicitation - the new evangelism explosion"

+ "Ship of Fools as evangelical Protestants"
 

---

Posted by CorgiGreta (# 443) on :
 
"Hurrrumph. Good morning. Uh, that is to say GOOD morning. Hurrrumph. Uh, welcome. Er, I, uhm, seem to .....have ah misplaced or um perhaps even lost my what do you call them?.... sermon notes, that's it----so, uh, I will....I mean I shall speak to you uhm from .....my hurrrumph heart."

Greta
 

---

Posted by G.R.I.T.S. (# 4169) on :
 

quote:

---

Our first sermon in the series is entitled:
The theological and liturgical implications of the song "Walk like an Egyptian".

---

Verrrrry funny.
 

---

Posted by flutterpink (# 4567) on :
 
Real life one from last sunday:

"Now, since we're approaching our 12th week in the book of Romans, open your Bibles to Romans Chapter 2 verses 12-16..."

It's going to be a long year.
 

---

Posted by tomb (# 174) on :
 
A meditation on Judges ix, 50-54

quote:

---

50. Then Abimelech went to Thebez, and encamped against Thebez, and took it.

51. But there was a strong tower with the city, and all the people of the city fled to it, all the men and women, and shut themselves in; and they went to the roof of the tower.

52. And Abimelech came to the tower, and fought against it, and drew near to the door of the tower to burn it with fire.

53. And a certain woman threw an upper millstone upon Abimelech's head, and crushed his skull.

54. Then he called hastily to the young man his armor-bearer and said to him, "Draw your sword and kill me, lest men say of me, 'A woman killed him.'" And his young man thrust him through, and he died.

---

quote:

---

"Now, since we're approaching our 12th week in the book of Romans, open your Bibles to Romans Chapter 2 verses 12-16..."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by CorgiGreta:
"Hurrrumph. Good morning. Uh, that is to say GOOD morning. Hurrrumph. Uh, welcome. Er, I, uhm, seem to .....have ah misplaced or um perhaps even lost my what do you call them?.... sermon notes, that's it----so, uh, I will....I mean I shall speak to you uhm from .....my hurrrumph heart."

Greta

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by G.R.I.T.S.:
"Why I've decided to quit preaching and start selling insurance (or Amway or used cars)."

---

Ok, I did it the other way round. I used to sell used cars (and new ones too) and now I preach occassionally. I didn't realise it was a cardinal sin.

Jo
 

---

Posted by G.R.I.T.S. (# 4169) on :
 

quote:

---

Ok, I did it the other way round. I used to sell used cars (and new ones too) and now I preach occassionally. I didn't realise it was a cardinal sin.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
"As it is holiday season ..." ( This means because the preacher has been on holiday, they have not had time to prepare anything. Therefore we are going to get reflections on their holiday. )

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenwritez:
+ "A detailed explanation of the TCP/IP network transmission protocol"

---

And the problem with this one is what?

All seven layers, please!

Gremlin,
 

---

Posted by Wally (# 3245) on :
 
Religious significance of the Incredible Mr. Limpet.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
'How wonderful my previous church was'

(the implication being.....)
 

---

Posted by Arrietty (# 45) on :
 
As an aside, telling congregation how God filled the preacher's need for a holiday by prompting a generous parishioner to lend the family his holiday home free of charge - 'and as it happens, I have been praying for a new car, so if anyone listening has a spare car they don't mind giving me - ha ha ha, ONLY JOKING, though of course I actually do ned a car, so......'

I have heard variants on this several times.
 

---

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
Since we've segued into real sermons we've heard.

One of my rector's favorites...

You're all cowards for Christ and need to take some risks, or why do you bother showing up on Sundays? This isn't a social club.

She tends to stare at the choir at this point.
 

---

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :
 
"The Gentle, Loving, Christlike Way
To Break The News To Your Neighbor
That He Is Hellbound
And That Devils Will Crawl
Into His Unmentionable Places
For All Eternity"


.
.
.
not far from stuff I've heard..
 

---

Posted by St. Cuervo (# 4725) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Merseymike:
I've always wondered how evangelical Anglican vicars manage to give people who, under their definition, are 'non-Christian', a Christian burial ?

---

You might have missed this one...

Priest on non-Christian burials

I guess this would be my vote for a sermon I never wish to hear. Especially at my own funeral!

Cheers,

St. C.

[ 12. August 2003, 02:14: Message edited by: St. Cuervo ]
 

---

Posted by Sine Nomine (# 3631) on :
 
Oh no!

That was a Catholic priest, not an Evengelical Anglican vicar.

Maybe he used to be an Evengelical Anglican vicar who crossed the Tiber at the ordination of women.
 

---

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :
 
I once heard a sermon about how all lawyers wear Harris Tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and are headed for Hell. Needless to say, I was a law student wearing a Harris Tweed jacket with leather elbow patches. Fortunately, I slept through most of the rest of the sermon. No use worrying about Hell until you have to.
 

---

Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on :
 
"Let your women keep silent in the churches." I make a LOT of noise in my church. Just ask anybody who passes in front of me when I am singing!!

The yearly appeal for money, especially if the appeal is coming from the bishop, who has usually sent out a long, boring, begging letter to be read from the pulpit of all the parish churches.

Anything that reminds me of catechism classes in elementary school.
 

---

Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on :
 
I thought of one more, but for some reason I was not allowed to edit my earlier post!



The most entertainingly obnoxious sermon I ever heard was delivered by an opinionated, hellfire-and-brimstone priest on Easter Sunday (or was it Christmas Day? It was a long time ago.). He lamblasted everybody in the church who only attended Mass on Easter and Christmas! Nobody slept through that one, but I don't think he exactly encouraged any lax churchgoers to come back for more!


 

---

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by St. Cuervo:

I guess this would be my vote for a sermon I never wish to hear. Especially at my own funeral!

Cheers,

St. C.

---

Don't worry, I wouldn't think you would hear it anyway.

Huia
 

---

Posted by Duo Seraphim (# 3251) on :
 
"Today's sermon is taken from Jeremiah ch4 v3.

quote:

---

Even the sea monsters draw out the breast,they give suck to their young ones:
the daughter of my people is become cruel,
like the ostriches in the wilderness.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chorister:
'How wonderful my previous church was'

(the implication being.....)

---

A previous vicar of mine used regularly to complain about how much better his previous congregation were. He went from middle-class comuter belt to working class East London, and expected people to be the same? Was he really stupid? Or just never previously escaped from his Middle-class upbringing?

More that I never want to hear :

Why Song of Songs is such a beautiful image of the church.

Moses saw God's bottom, and other things you didn't know about the bible.*

Was Paul a mysoginist, or just a sad and frustrated dirty old man?

Why [preachers current ailment] is my thorn in the side or anything which involved detailed medical history.

* Acknowledgments to "Down with School" for this one.
 

---

Posted by kentishmaid (# 4767) on :
 
Any sermon that begins

"I was watching [insert programme name here] on TV the other day, and I thought how appropriate this was for Christian life because"

A particularly awful example of this was one where a detailed comparison between Superman and Jesus was drawn. Enough to make you severely ill.
 

---

Posted by LatinMan (# 1892) on :
 
Chancellor of the Archdiocese steps up to the lectern:

"It is with great regret that I must report that your pastor, Fr. Jones, has been suspended indefinitely. The reasons why will probably be on the 10:00 news tonight..."
 

---

Posted by Ormo (# 4805) on :
 
one that is quickly ended by saying:
"How did those pictures get in the powerpoint presentation!?"
 

---

Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :
 
That blasted "medical details of the Crucifixion" sermon which I've heard about three times now, and have read it too many other times.

Anything involving frogs in water which is being slowly heated, they adapt to the temperature, do not know they are being boiled alive, and comparisons with the human response to popular culture.
 

---

Posted by Wally (# 3245) on :
 

quote:

---

by Greta: This is for real, I swear. Last week according to the notice board, the sermon topic in the Unitarian-Universalist Church up the road was "The History of the Universalist Chruch in Southern California".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wally:
Religious significance of the Incredible Mr. Limpet.

---

quote:

---

Let us thank God that we're not like that Pharisee.

---

Sadly he wasn't being ironic.
 

---

Posted by Lyra (# 267) on :
 
Anything long - I go to sleep!

What does it mean when a preacher places his watch on the pulpit before starting to preach?

Usually nothing!
 

---

Posted by TheGreenT (# 3571) on :
 
i just dont do sermons anymore

so none!!
 

---

Posted by Kenwritez (# 3238) on :
 
"Porn: Celebrating God's Workmanship."
 

---

Posted by that Wikkid Person (# 4446) on :
 
"How blessed we are, beloved brethren, that we have a place like this to come to and hear things like this."

"The Matrix as metaphor for conversion"

"The occult, hidden in modern entertainment"
 

---

Posted by J. J. Ramsey (# 1174) on :
 
Any sermon produced by those organizations that arrange church "stewardship campaigns," a.k.a. fundraisers that everyone is too "religious" to call fundraisers. The sermons tend to have manipulative rhetoric and excreable hermeneutics. (Give more than you hink you can give and God will make up the shortfall!)
 

---

Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
Because the ministers unwell today we'll play a tape of last weeks sermon. Which everyone heard last week and which is being played on a pre war tape machine that sounds less like a sermon then aliens invading.

(It did happen)
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Even worse when the vicar preaches exactly the same sermon two weeks in a row and doesn't even appear to realise that he has done so.

(perhaps he was just testing to see if we noticed )

spooky though - especially as I had just seen 'Groundhog Day'
 

---

Posted by MadKaren (# 1033) on :
 
umm...by the sounds of it anything that gremlin is preaching....Unless he doesn't talk about computers, or the technical details of his job.

MadKaren
 

---

Posted by Anna B (# 1439) on :
 
"How our pets provide insight into the Christian life"

"While turning the compost the other day, I had a few thoughts about transformation..."

"Don't even try to be perfect because you'll never get there" [this one I have heard multiple times]
 

---

Posted by Boopy (# 4738) on :
 
'Just look at the picture on the overhead projector for a moment and see what it looks like to you. Now,which face can you see - the young woman or the old woman? Isn't that just like God, always surprising us with the unexpected.......and sometimes just a change of focus makes all the difference in our lives....blah blah blah'.

One I never hope to hear again, as preachers always think this picture is new and exciting and has a 'message', but anyone who has ever done teacher training or psychology A level will already know it thoroughly as it has been around for ever in textbooks. A prospective candidate for the then-vacant ministry at our church used this in his visit-with-a-view sermon. I knew immediately I'd have to leave if he came to stay (thankfully he didn't!). There's no excuse for rehashing ancient stuff and assuming that no-one in the congregation will ever have seen or heard of it before.

Boopy
 

---

Posted by kentishmaid (# 4767) on :
 
Too right. My Dad preached exactly the same sermon every All Saints' Day for 7 years, and didn't think anyone would notice!! Isn't it just lovely when people insult your intelligence like that?
 

---

Posted by Jengie (# 273) on :
 
Those vicars need to be given a hard time. Send them to your local non-conformist church, we stock a nice brand of old ladies who remember every sermon for the last seven years.

My Dad has only once preached the same sermon twice at the same church and yes there was at least seven years between the original and the repeat performance. Still one old lady came up and said "I enjoyed that, I always thought it was one of your better sermons".

Jengie
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anna B:
"Don't even try to be perfect because you'll never get there" [this one I have heard multiple times]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anna B:
"While turning the compost the other day, I had a few thoughts about transformation..."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
A story I heard (almost certainly an urban myth). A training minister was sent to a local church every other month to preach and lead worship. Everytime he preached exactly the same sermon. So the principle called the student into his office and asked him why he kept preaching the same sermon. The student replied that when the congregation started to actually listen to what he was saying he'd say something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gremlin:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kenwritez:
+ "A detailed explanation of the TCP/IP network transmission protocol"

---

And the problem with this one is what?

All seven layers, please!

Gremlin,

---

You obviously shoudl have stayed awake during the sermon.

TCPIP has 3 layers, not 7. Of course it can be described in terms of the 7-layer model (so can just about anything, including paying your gas bill by post) but it was designed around 3 layers.

And the 7 layers, from memory, are: application layer, doo-dah layer, hand-waving layer, transport layer, network layer, interthingy layer, and physical layer
 

---

Posted by kentishmaid (# 4767) on :
 
how do you fit all those hens in there?

At least it proves that the chicken preceeded the egg, I suppose....

Back to the topic - anything that has the faintest whiff of cringeworthiness or patronisation to it, as in one I heard about 5 Christmases ago where a story was told about the Innkeeper, and the congregation were to try and spot how many carols were mentioned in it......
 

---

Posted by Anna B (# 1439) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anna B:
"Don't even try to be perfect because you'll never get there" [this one I have heard multiple times]

---

So have I. When Christians start listening to it maybe the preachers can stop preaching it!

---

That reminds me of the joke about Myers-Briggs INFJ's (of which I am one): Their motto is, "What part of 'Be ye perfect' don't you understand?"

Seriously, I seem to be so situated (a Broad Church parish in Connecticut) that I hear too few sermons about holiness. Maybe you've got a surfeit of them over there?
 

---

Posted by rexory (# 4708) on :
 
Thank God I've got the next three weeks off preaching! You guys have covered all my themes!
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anna B:
Seriously, I seem to be so situated (a Broad Church parish in Connecticut) that I hear too few sermons about holiness. Maybe you've got a surfeit of them over there?

---

quote:

---

A particularly awful example of this was one where a detailed comparison between Superman and Jesus was drawn. Enough to make you severely ill.

---

It seems to me--correct me if I'm wrong--that there is actually a book treating the theme of Jesus as CEO. Frightening, isn't it? Could lead to sermons on the topic of Christianity as a kind of management-cult (I won't write the name in case of legal repercussions).

 

---

Posted by dj_ordinaire (# 4643) on :
 
don't know about Twinkle Twinkle little star, but I've sermons on "You are old, Father William" and the religious significance of dentures. They were both much better than you'd think, actually
 

---

Posted by MarkthePunk (# 683) on :
 
[idea stolen from tomb]

during a building campaign:
"The heart of Our Lady bleeds when she looks down with tear-filled eyes at your miserliness toward the Holy Church."
 

---

Posted by Beenster (# 242) on :
 
There was one sermon delivered by a young, enthusiastic and passionate preacher about the birth of his son. Unfortunately, it had been a particularly nasty delivery (by birthing standards) - I can't and have no desire to remember the facts, and the whole of the sermon was a blow by blow account of this event. It started with the waters breaking and ended with the babe having been washed and clean. He also had an interesting way with words, and must have gone through every thesaurus to find the most graphic possible adjective / verb / noun / adverb for each given moment.
 

---

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
We were on vacation in Pennsylvania, and we went to church on Sunday morning. It was an old church about ten feet from the sidewalk. On either side of the walk to the front door, there were tombstones; every available bit of ground had a tombstone.

The sermon was one of the very few hellfire sermons I have ever heard in an Episcopal church. The preacher went on about, "You're enjoying your life now; you have all these nice possessions and enjoyable experiences; you think you have it made. But someday you're going to die." He sounded very happy when he said the "You're going to die" bit.

After we left the church, our sixteen-year-old daughter remarked that she should have known what the sermon would be like when she saw all those tombstones.

Moo
 

---

Posted by elsi (# 2098) on :
 
"In the third in our series leading up to our annual Commination Service , we will continue by looking at two more of the opening statements.

"This week we shall consider "Cursed is he that removeth his neighbour's landmark" and "Cursed are the unmerciful, fornicators, and adulterers, covetous persons, idolaters, slanderers, drunkards, and extortioners."

"As in previous weeks I shall be using examples from the lives of members of the congregation to illustrate these points..."


 

---

Posted by Big Chaz (# 4862) on :
 
The Good news is we have the money for the new church building. The bad news is its in ur pockets....

Stolen from friend who preached it...
prity cool though

Thanks for coming to the weding. Donations are volentry. U C the curate. Hes a black belt. Former night club bouncer. He'll be holding the baskett on the way out ur choice...


said by our vicar
funny though
 

---

Posted by The Great God Dyfrig (# 15) on :
 
"Charles, King and Martyr"
 

---

Posted by Professor Yaffle (# 525) on :
 
"Cromwell, Our Chief of Men".
 

---

Posted by The Great God Dyfrig (# 15) on :
 
"Cromwell: Our Example in Humility"
 

---

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
Charles, King, Martyr, Loving Husband, and Father of His People.
 

---

Posted by Ormo (# 4805) on :
 
N 2dy D ovrhds wil B N txt, D titl s "Gd N yung ppl"...
 

---

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
Big Chaz, welcome to Hell.

1. The Ship's 10 Commandments are to the left of your screen - etching them on to your forearm will help in your posting career here.
2. The guidelines to Hell are linked to in the intro to Hell - read, learn and obey these.
3. There is/should be a spell checker on your computer - use it to make your posts readable. Poor spelling and bad use of punctuation and capitals are two of the greatest sins in a text-based environment.

quote:

---

Ezekiel 23:19-21 (ESV)
Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt [20] and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. [21] Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts."

---

However, I must confess that, like watching a car accident, perverse curiousity would want to see how a preacher dealt with

quote:

---

Zech. 5:5-8 (ESV)
Then the angel who talked with me came forward and said to me, "Lift your eyes and see what this is that is going out." [6] And I said, "What is it?" He said, "This is the basket that is going out." And he said, "This is their iniquity in all the land." [7] And behold, the leaden cover was lifted, and there was a woman sitting in the basket! [8] And he said, "This is Wickedness." And he thrust her back into the basket, and thrust down the leaden weight on its opening.

---

quote:

---

The rapture is coming- prepare yourselves!!!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anselm:
When the sermon starts with an illustration from the Saturday paper you begin to get the feeling that the sermon was born out of Saturday night desperation.

Also wouldn't be too keen if the following verses were introduced

quote:

---

Ezekiel 23:19-21 (ESV)
Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt [20] and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. [21] Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts."

---

However, I must confess that, like watching a car accident, perverse curiousity would want to see how a preacher dealt with

quote:

---

Zech. 5:5-8 (ESV)
Then the angel who talked with me came forward and said to me, "Lift your eyes and see what this is that is going out." [6] And I said, "What is it?" He said, "This is the basket that is going out." And he said, "This is their iniquity in all the land." [7] And behold, the leaden cover was lifted, and there was a woman sitting in the basket! [8] And he said, "This is Wickedness." And he thrust her back into the basket, and thrust down the leaden weight on its opening.

---

---

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