• log off and take a break
• post abusive things
• take them to hell
• stalk them and send them threatening e-mails

• ignore them as they have no authority
• leave the ship and never come back
• offer to send them bribes
• create multiple identities using the same e-mail address

• start threads about your favourite bands
• go into the cafe
• search for all the homosexuality threads and post the same thing on each one
• try to chat up the hosts or admins

[ 16. October 2006, 00:45: Message edited by: Erin ]
 

---

Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 
Only 2 in the last question?
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Q.1. You should leave the offending shipmate in no doubt about how you feel, so describe his/her ancestry and state of mental health and morals in whatever terms you think are necessary to get the point across. They will thank you for pointing out where they went wrong, once they've stopped feeling embarrassed.

Q.2. Ignore the host, they're probably just trying it on to see how you react.

Q.3. This is a trick question. You should in fact do all those things, once you've had a few drinks you'll be much more articulate and imaginative. And there are so many homosexuality threads that it's a good idea to post the same thing to all of them, it saves time. You might also start a few polls as well.
 

---

Posted by starbelly (# 25) on :
 
Anyone want to add any questions, some more visual reaction tests might be useful as well, for example:

Which smiley is NOT appropriate in a thread about creationism

quote:

---

Originally posted by starbelly:


It is 3am in the morning and you are very, very drunk, what should you NOT do? [/list]

---

• ignore it, it happens to the best of us
• point it out and make a small joke of it
• berate the shipmate and make them feel very, very small
• never speak to the shipmate again, and suggest to the admins that they are banned

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChrisT:
Looks like I should ge me coat...

---

or perhaps you could get your coat Chris.

J
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Well, I have tried and tried to take the test, but the little dot just doesn't appear in the bullet point box I click on, and when I tried to print out my score, nothing happened.

Does this mean I have failed the test, and will be prevented from posting anything in future?



 

---

Posted by Never Conforming (# 4054) on :
 


I've just had a horrible shift at work and this was just what I needed to see.

Thanks.

Jo


 

---

Posted by Qlib (# 43) on :
 
Evangelicals are

• the only true Christians
• closet fundamentalists to a wo/man
• a mixed bunch, just like the rest of us
• not perfect, maybe, but better than those lousy liberals

• Orthodox
• Orthodox
• Orthodox
• Orthodox

• Heaven

• Purgatory

• T'n'T

• Small Fire

• Heaven

• The Styx

• Hell

• Games board in Chorister's sig

• Heaven

• Hell

• The Styx

• Dead Horses

• Hell

• Heaven

• Purgatory

• The Styx

• Mystery Worship

• The Styx

• Heaven

• Just keep lurking honey...

quote:

---

Originally posted by Icklicus Angelicus:
The Board Selection Section:
On which board should you post the following threads?

"Let's talk about bananas"

• Heaven
• Purgatory
• T'n'T
• Small Fire

---

• First Post--that's why you signed up, dammit.
• After 50 Posts or over a month, whichever is longer
• After 40 Days and Nights of rigorous fasting
• Whatever the Ouija Board says
• Never, if you know what's good for ya

quote:

---

Originally posted by starbelly:
You notice a minor error in a shipmates grammar, should you

• ignore it, it happens to the best of us
• point it out and make a small joke of it
• berate the shipmate and make them feel very, very small
• never speak to the shipmate again, and suggest to the admins that they are banned

---

code:

---

welcome

---

If you see a post in Heaven picking up on an error you've made, it's best to take it as light-hearted ribbing (at least at first!).

Hell is a different matter, however...

[/Hostly aside]

Anyway, on with the thread:

What are the fluffy bunnies?:

• A marshmallow-based 'hilarious' game
• The heavenly game-playing crowd
• RooK's slippers

quote:

---

Originally posted by rexory:

quote:

---

Originally posted by starbelly:
You notice a minor error in a shipmates grammar, should you

• ignore it, it happens to the best of us
• point it out and make a small joke of it
• berate the shipmate and make them feel very, very small
• never speak to the shipmate again, and suggest to the admins that they are banned

---

Starbelly,
Apologies if you are offended, it was meant as a light-hearted comment. But it's not unusual for my foot to be in my mouth. Allow me to take it out and eat humble pie if appropriate!

---

• No way - anyone who hangs around with people off the internet is a sad git!
• EEK! They're actually real, and what's worse, they live nearby!
• Wait and see whether someone you don't like signs up to go before you decide
• Tell them you don't like the venue and the date doesn't suit you and they must provide alternatives
• Ask them to tell you why you should spend part of your spare time with them
• Accept, but tell them you're a teetotal non-smoking diabetic gluten-free vegan on a fat-free, low sodium and cholesterol diet, and you don't like spicy food.

• wish to discuss the internal affairs of their own (or someone else's) church
• drink GIN
• know all the proper terminology associated with High Anglo-Catholic liturgy
• are members of the MW Secret Society

 

---

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :
 
jlg, you've missed an item off your list:

+ wannabes who nothing whatsoever about tat but want to be in the "in-crowd"**

PS Have just spotted your new title. Can't help with Sheep3, but Sheep1 is right here

** uh.... that'd be me then

[ 31. August 2003, 21:19: Message edited by: Jack the Lass ]
 

---

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :
 
Aargh timeout got me again:

...who KNOW nothing about tat...



[Edited: punctuation]

[ 31. August 2003, 21:21: Message edited by: Jack the Lass ]
 

---

Posted by Chapelhead (# 1143) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by jlg:
Participation on the Mystery Worship board is limited to Shipmates who:

• wish to discuss the internal affairs of their own (or someone else's) church
• drink GIN
• know all the proper terminology associated with High Anglo-Catholic liturgy
• are members of the MW Secret Society

---

I don't see where the question is there?

Which of the following is not likely to be regarded as a clinching argument in Purgatory?

• It must be true, because the bible tells me so.
• It must be true because my church tells me so.
• It must be true because God tells me so.
• It must be true because the voices in my head tell me so.
• All of the above.
• None of the above.

• it must be true because Erin says so
• it must be true because I read it in the papers
• it must be true because I am God

• denial
• accuse the OP
• accuse the hosts
• accuse everyone else
• jump overboard
• get your press secretary to jump overboard
• apologise

• G'n'T
• T'n'T
• T'n'A
• B&B
• G&B

(Extra marks are available if you can allocate the other choices to the boards on which they are discussed)

Essay Questions
Is Green and Blacks Chocolate a secure form of international currency? Discuss, giving examples from relevant threads.

"Sven, moose or package filling?" Give the correct protocol for forwarding the SoF mascot a) to a shipmate in the next town b)to a shipmate in the next country c) to a shipmate on the furthest continent possible. (Marks will be added for precise knowledge of postage tariffs.)

Hell is... Complete and discuss the sentence. (Note, this is a SoF topic, not personal theology, OK?)

CI//(great idea for a thread )

[Duplicate post deleted]

[ 03. September 2003, 13:20: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 

---

Posted by Captain IT (# 3550) on :
 
Hmm, annyoing duplicate post due to server/isp problems... can a hostly finger please delete the second?

Please complete the following Phrase: Preview post is...

• not necessary - I can edit my posts!
• still my friend, ^*^*^### slow dial-up connection!
• the closest thing to a friend I have
• a review service that the mail delivery person offers when h/she cheerily says "Just bills again, today" and walks/drives off whistling in an annoying manner

• Add a third post identical to the first two;
• Apologise for double-posting, thereby triple-posting;
• Ignore it and hope that no-one will notice
• Get a friendly host to delete one of the posts;
• Become a host so that you can cover up future errors

[Or get in first with a whimsical post about 'Preview Post is my friend' ]

[ 03. September 2003, 09:29: Message edited by: Rhisiart ]
 

---

Posted by Gill B (# 112) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by starbelly:
You notice a minor error in a shipmates grammar, should you

• ignore it, it happens to the best of us
• point it out and make a small joke of it
• berate the shipmate and make them feel very, very small
• never speak to the shipmate again, and suggest to the admins that they are banned

---

I usually go for the first but in this context I can't resist going for the second option since the words pot and kettle spring to mind. Where's your apostrophe in shipmates, Neil?
 

---

Posted by The Machine Elf (# 1622) on :
 
But 3am in the morning is a tautology, not a grammatical error.


TME
 

---

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rhisiart:
You have just posted the same post twice. The correct course of action is to:

• Add a third post identical to the first two;
• Apologise for double-posting, thereby triple-posting;
• Ignore it and hope that no-one will notice
• Get a friendly host to delete one of the posts;
• Become a host so that you can cover up future errors

[Or get in first with a whimsical post about 'Preview Post is my friend' ]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chorister:
Well, I have tried and tried to take the test, but the little dot just doesn't appear in the bullet point box I click on, and when I tried to print out my score, nothing happened.

Does this mean I have failed the test, and will be prevented from posting anything in future?

---

There, there. I think we're grandfathered in.

quote Starbelly

quote:

---

Here are the first three questions:

A shipmates behaviour has upset you. it may help if you

*log off and take a break
*post abusive things
*take them to hell
*stalk them and send them threatening e-mails


A host gives you a final warning, you should

*ignore them as they have no authority
*leave the ship and never come back
*offer to send them bribes
*create multiple identities using the same e-mail address


It is 3am in the morning and you are very, very drunk, what should you NOT do? (mark 2 answers)
*start threads about your favourite bands
*go into the cafe
*search for all the homosexuality threads and post the same thing on each one
*try to chat up the hosts or admins

---

#1 B. Post abusive things about them. In Small Fires.

#2 C. Send copious bribes. Then the admins and hosts will still apply B.(leaving the Ship) for you at no further charge.

#3 B. Go into the Cafe. With only a personal supply of Irish coffee. Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?
C. *sigh* With all the ongoing discussions it would be a shocking waste of space, and the trolls have used up enough space lately.
 

---

Posted by Magnum Mysterium (# 3418) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Icklicus Angelicus:
"My fluffy ickle puddy tat just died - will it go to heaven?"

• Hell

• Heaven

• Purgatory

• The Styx

---

• Apologise profusely?
• Tell anyone who objects (particularly Ruth) that they are lackeys of the Bush regime?
• Laugh it off, they're just joshing, right?
• Claim that Erin has violated the ten commandments for calling you a fucktard*, and start a thread in the Styx called "Why Erin should resign"?
• Post a long rambling screed about how you enjoyed your holiday in Miami two years ago, whilst intimating that Fred 'godhatesamerica' Phelps may be onto something?
• Object that as this is a Christian site, everyone should be nice to you?

*Implausible, I know. This is just in theory.

[ 05. September 2003, 09:06: Message edited by: Professor Yaffle ]
 

---

Posted by Professor Yaffle (# 525) on :
 
Wood and Merseymike are embroiled in a duel to the death in Hell, over an incautious remark by Merseymike about Evangelicals*. You should NOT:

• Post remarks about Popcorn
• Post your own limerick, which is only tangentially relevant to the subject
• Weigh in with the observation that homosexuality is clearly condemned in the Bible, and those that practice it are damned.
• Say that you find the thread particularly amusing as it is a known fact that all Christians are raving homophobes
• Announce that all evangelicals are bigots
• Ask Merseymike if he's saved
• Ask Wood if he's saved

*Implausible I know. This is a theory test.
 

---

Posted by Professor Yaffle (# 525) on :
 
Hosts and Admins particularly welcome:

• Hard Cash
• Numerologists
• Chocolate
• Attempts to convert Shipmates to one's own peculiar variant of Christianity
• Appreciation
• Libellous remarks about influential and litigious persons

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
quote Starbelly

quote:

---

A host gives you a final warning, you should

*ignore them as they have no authority
*leave the ship and never come back
*offer to send them bribes
*create multiple identities using the same e-mail address

---

#2 C. Send copious bribes. Then the admins and hosts will still apply B.(leaving the Ship) for you at no further charge.

---

• Say nothing at all
• Make as many comments as possible
• Only mention it if you're the host in question

• converse politely about their latest course of psychotherapy
• belt out cheesy Gospel numbers
• start cooking implausible amounts of food from your local area/last holiday destination/ fave cuisine
• forage desperately for a computer so you can communicate via lines of type
• flood the ceiling/s
• turn up in drag
• sling yourself dribbling at the nearest single person of appropriate gender/age/sexual orientation
• order in 14 pizzas
• evangelise the waiter
• get drunk and throw up against the nearest church
• invite 10 of them home to stay the night
• all of the above
• I wouldn't be seen dead in the company of people I'd met over the internet

quote:

---

Originally posted by armed and ferocious welsh dragoon:
You are attending a shipmeet with a lot of shipmates you have just met or the first time.

Do you

• sling yourself dribbling at the nearest single person of appropriate gender/age/sexual orientation

---

• a quiet discussion of the gifts of the spirit over tapas
• lunch in a pub
• an outing to a theme park
• an afternoon in a pub
• a picnic followed by a punting expedition
• an early evening meet in a pub
• a Chinese/ Indian/Burmese meal
• supper in a pub
• a riverboat ride
• a late evening meet in a pub
• meeting at a church service, lecture or theatre performance
• er, breakfast in a pub
• going to a party in someone's house
• meeting in a private room in a pub
• I don't like pubs
• I'm a methodist and I drink Tigglets
• I'm a methodist; what is a pub?
• I'm a methodist and I don't mind meeting in pubs whether or not I actually drink alcohol
• I wouldn't be seen dead meeting up with a whole lot of people I got to know over the Internet

• Drag them to Hell for blatant plagiarism
• Ignore the social faux pas on their part and assume a haughty air
• Laugh it off
• PM them and say you must be soul-mates. Then PM them again. And again. And again.
• Notify a Host and raise it as an issue in the Styx
• Pay for your own damn avatar, you cheap hussy

• try to avoid getting into discussion about multiple personalities or child sex abuse or the futility of modern medicine
• it helps if you can sing in tune
• you need to check the size and readiness for action of your implements before you start
• no
• only if they don't belong to you
• and only if you have the legs for it
• only if *they* have the legs for it
• only if you have the credit card balance for it
• only if it seems likely to be consensual
• only if you are ******
• only if you are certifiably insane
• anything is possible in multiple alternate universes
• superficially sensible but missing out on rather a lot of fun

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoo:

code:

---

welcome

---

[b]What are the fluffy bunnies?:

[*]The heavenly game-playing crowd

---

Of course!

And if you are uproariously drunk at 3 AM, you should post as many inane new polls as you can think up, always placing them on inappropriate boards and then, via PM, make side bets with your favourite 'mates as to how quickly they'll be closed or moved!



 

---

Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
SoF's most beloved celebrity is

• Simon Cowell
• Colin Firth
• Bernard Manning
• Cliff Richard
• Britney Spears

quote:

---

Originally posted by Queasy Jim the Cabin Boy (ChrisT):
Welsh Dragon, I've seen you do all of those (and a few more) at several ShipMeets.

---

I have to ask. At which one did the Dragon have drag on?
 

---

Posted by Boopy (# 4738) on :
 
You realise, from details they let slip, that a new shipmate is someone you know and dislike in real life. Should you:

* post a great big fake welcome to them immediately in All Saints, using their real name and home town?
* post lots of hints in MW about how you could say who it is, if you wanted to...?
*post a lightly disguised real life situation in which they are involved, in Purgatory for debate, and wait to see if they bite?
*call them to Hell, to explain something they've done in real life to offend you?
*all of the above?
 

---

Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on :
 
The SoF "In-Crowd..."

• doesn't exist.
• wants you to believe it doesn't exist.
• holds its position by Divine Right.
• has webbed feet.
• tortures puppies.
• is SO freakin' awesome and cool.

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