Thread: Circus: Quiz-Off Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=11;t=000661

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
This thread is for keen competitors with sharp wits.

I shall ask a question and hopefully it will be sufficiently vague that there are many possible answers, some of which will be clever and others funny.

I do not want the 'right' answer I want clever or funny or even weird answers.

Marks will be awarded for the best answers - PM me if you love somebody else's answer and I will mark accordingly.

OPENING QUESTION:

How do you get to Birmingham?

[ 14. March 2008, 03:49: Message edited by: Chorister ]
 

---

Posted by Jon J (# 11091) on :
 
That's not important. It's how you get out.
 

---

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :
 
If your behaviour is objectionable, you might be sent to Coventry. Just stay on for a few more stations.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
This is Mornington Crescent isnt it???
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Get in the car and go Brum, brum.
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
I'm pretty sure you leave Pennsylvania, and keep bearing left at every fork in the road.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
I have never Birmed anyone in my life.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
I try not to, if I can help it.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
I personally haven't been to Birminhayam, but I understand from some folks who claim to have been there, that you have to travel through Floribama first.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
You don't get to Birmingham, you get to Gether.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
Sheer lack of attention!
 

---

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :
 
Follow a bull with a ring.
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
The question isn't "how", it's "why".
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
By driving very carefully and having a good navigator, or better yet - take the train!
 

---

Posted by St.Silas the carter (# 12867) on :
 
You daon't. Birmingham is naff, you go to Exeter by paper aeroplane.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Practice m'dear Practice!
 

---

Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on :
 
You could try swimming across the Atlantic Ocean, but I don't recommend it.

Pax Romana
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
How do you get to Birmingham?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by dogwonderer:
Half of what it was,
Whenever that was two;
And double what it was,
When it was minus, too.

---

OOOOh teacher's pet has become the class swot!
 

---

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :
 
The wrong answer
 

---

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :
 
You get the other one feeling jealous.
 

---

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
A1) you have to walk all the way.

A2) it depends on where you are taking one, and how you plan to treat it when you get there.
 

---

Posted by lady in red (# 10688) on :
 
If you take one away on Safari in Kenya - a Knighthood.

If you take one away to Blackpool for the weekend - more likely only an MBE.
 

---

Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Zero if you're working in binary.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
A one-shaped hole.
 

---

Posted by Pax Romana (# 4653) on :
 
A kidnapped one.

Pax Romana
 

---

Posted by Beautiful_Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
A burglary charge.
 

---

Posted by Beautiful_Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
Who can ask a new question, and when?

Here is a question in case I can:

When have you gone too far?
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
If you take away one... you might end up with another nasty car accident in a paris subway, a number of conspiracy theories.... but you lose the threat of a Queen Camella.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Note to self... when cutting... dont forget to paste.

Appologies for double post.. that was answer to question two.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Beautiful_Dreamer:
Who can ask a new question, and when?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q3) How do you know when you have overstepped the mark?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q3) How do you know when you have overstepped the mark?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q3) How do you know when you have overstepped the mark?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q3) How do you know when you have overstepped the mark?

---

The mark? What mark? Oh, that mark . Sorry.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Second set of Marks

3 : Jon J : Another good start
3 : Gwai : Top marks for that one
3 : Dogwonderer : A lovely erudite poem
3 : Jedijudy : First to peg this theme
1 : Wet Kipper : Only if you are bad at maths
3 : The Great Gumby : I really like this one
3 : Smudgie : You are talking brothers mother
2 : Comet (A1) : Like the idea
2 : Comet (A2) : That gets another middle mark
2 : Lady in Red : Nice choice of awards
1 : Balaam : Not sure about the maths here
3 : Davelarge : Brilliant
3 : Pax Romana : Great answer
3 : Beautiful Dreamer : A nice twist of the question
1 : Footdoc : Another on the same theme

Bonus Points:

A1) Quizmaster - from Chorister
A1) Wet Kipper - from Balaam
A2) Davelarge - from Chorister

TABLE AFTER TWO

7 Davelarge
6 Dogwonderer
6 Jon J
6 The Great Gumby
5 Jedijudy
5 Lady in Red
5 Smudgie
5 Wet Kipper
4 Comet
4 Pax Romana
4 Quizmaster
3 Ann
3 Balaam
3 Beautiful Dreamer
3 Chorister
3 Esmeralda
3 Footdoc
3 Gwai
3 Pearl B4 Swine
3 Sharkshooter
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Bonus Points:

A1) Quizmaster - from Chorister
A1) Wet Kipper - from Balaam
A2) Davelarge - from Chorister

---

Eh? Would you care to explain where these came from, Quizzy. Not that I mind, of course
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
We PMd him, as per the OP.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
Ah, thanks.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
3) If Marks will be awarded for the best answers, and if I overstep the mark, then either I come in first...or last.
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
1) England or Alabama? Never mind; either way I try not to!

3) Usually because Mark, the choir director yells at me*


*Not factual. He yells at me for much sillier things, but n/m that.

[ 11. January 2008, 00:18: Message edited by: Gwai ]
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
1) Ham from Burma, mmmm, sounds good.

2) did a ref disallow a Chelsea goal?? Give it back!!!

3) when I make davelarge sleep in the couch (anything I do wrong can be twisted against him!)
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
1. How do you get to Burningham? In my case, by not being a very good cook...(true; I can burn just about ANYTHING).

2. What do you get when you take one away? More room in my asylum!

3. How do you know when you've overstepped the mark? Usually it's the snapped hamstrings.
 

---

Posted by Mr.e (# 8046) on :
 
A1> Litter the road bed with cans of Spam

A2> Away with one

A3> The guy behind you finds the treasure
 

---

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :
 
When you pick it up and find it really was an old German coin you almost trod on.
 

---

Posted by Jon J (# 11091) on :
 
Hope that your timing for the third and final long jump attempt will be better.
 

---

Posted by dogwonderer (# 12169) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Bonus Points:

A1) Quizmaster - from Chorister
A1) Wet Kipper - from Balaam
A2) Davelarge - from Chorister

---

Oh, rats. I was hoping I could win this, by dazzling wit and cunning. Looks like Mr Goody-Goody Popular Reallynice davelarge has it sewn up. Gah! It's just like getting picked last for football at school again. I don't want to be the goalpost. <sulks>
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Flounce points:
Dogwonderer 500
Everyone else 0
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
I have to say, I'm particularly impressed with Chorister's sucking-up to Quizzy. She'll be mailing chocolates next...


 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
Didn't your Mama never tell you: don't bite the hand that feeds? She gave you a bonus too!
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
3) when all your underwear just says "& Spencer" on it.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
2) Instructions (in no uncertain terms) to put it away again when you've finished with it!

3) Toe marks in the plasticine.
 

---

Posted by Jim Goodfellow (# 12121) on :
 
A2) A shortage of seamen
--------------------------------------------

I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
A3) When Quizmaster jumps ship?

 

---

Posted by Jon J (# 11091) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jim Goodfellow:
A2) A shortage of seamen

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:

3 : Jedijudy : Are you from the Matrix?

---

I drive a Matrix. Does that count?

4) You could ask your sister. She knows everything.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
4) if it inspires a hell thread on how a 3 year old could have made it!
 

---

Posted by Mr.e (# 8046) on :
 
4> It all depends on whether he has left hair, finger prints or DNA.
 

---

Posted by Jim Goodfellow (# 12121) on :
 
4) By asking Art if he worked on it.
Art, did you work on this?
Art: Ask my lawyer.
---------------------------------------------

Golf is a good walk spoilt
 

---

Posted by dogwonderer (# 12169) on :
 
A4. You don't. A true work of Art identifies you.
 

---

Posted by Jon J (# 11091) on :
 
A.4 Ask the mothers in his neighbourhood.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
A4. It's mine, it's mine - I did it!!
All by myself with my felt tips.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
How do you identify a work of Art?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:

-3 : Davelarge : Trying to educate in a fun thread

---

 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q6) How long is a piece of string?

---

No no. Ha Long is a beautiful bay in Vietnam.
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
Q6 --- Always half an inch too short.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
6) "It's long enough to last until we can fix things properly"
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
6) A guitar string might be 73 cm., a violin string is 36 cm., and a cello string is 95 cm. long. Will one of those do?
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
6) I'm usually given enough rope to hang myself with...
 

---

Posted by dogwonderer (# 12169) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:

I do not want the 'right' answer I want clever or funny or even weird answers.

[... but ...]

-3 : Davelarge : Trying to educate in a fun thread
-2 : Jim Goodfellow : Fight with Dave, Die with Dave
-1 : Dogwonderer : Nice rant but you can join Dave

... ...

Q6) How long is a piece of string?

---

A6) However long you want it to be, oh strange and capricious Quizmaster without an irony meter.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Q6 How long is a piece of string?

A: As long as it needs to be plus a bit extra if you want to tie it in a bow.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Just a thought on how long is a piece of string...
Would a string ensemble be same as a string of strings?
 

---

Posted by lady in red (# 10688) on :
 
a millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a billionth of a centimeter apparently
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q6) How long is a piece of string?

---

How long would you like it to be, Quizzy?
 

---

Posted by Jim Goodfellow (# 12121) on :
 
A6) If it's allegorical string, then it's as long as y0u say it is. Allegorically speaking of course.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A6) Double the length from one side to the middle.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
A6) The length of "a piece of string" depends on the font you use.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
A6) anything less than 1.8cm long is actually classified as a "bit", and the manufacturers of string don't make reels bigger than 2.1km long, so somewhere between the two extremes.

[ 18. January 2008, 16:13: Message edited by: Wet Kipper ]
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
You buying string? I'll sell by the half yard. If you want prettier string, the cloth shop down there is more expensive, but they do sell by the quarter yard.
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
Re: Q6
It depends on whether it is a gentleman or a lady estimating the length of said string. Length estimates seem to vary.
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a6) 2.3 times longer for you than for me when you're on the Earth with the string, and I'm approaching at 0.9c from my nightly bender in Betelgeuse.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A6) How long is a "piece of" string - well , um, eight characters (plus an end-of-string delimiter makes nine) ... say 1024kB in Word?
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
In the case of Mozart's String Quartet No.1 in G Major it is entirely dependent upon the conductor.
 

---

Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on :
 
How long is a piece of string?

Long enough to pass through a coconut and be attached to a pair of swallows.
 

---

Posted by Jim Goodfellow (# 12121) on :
 
How long is a piece of string?

According to Goodfellow's Law of Probability it's always shorter than you need it to be.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Six

3 : Cusanus : I must book a holiday there
3 : Pearl B4 Swine : Aint that just so?
3 : Banner Lady : An obvious expert in triage
3 : Jedijudy : Giving us the musician's angle
2 : Icklejen : Rope is thicker. Are you?
3 : Dogwonderer : Capricious without a doubt
3 : Footdoc : Using the Al Bundy definition
-1 : Footdoc : No
3 : Lady in Red : The scientific definition
2 : Davelarge : You and Dogwonderer
1 : Jim Goodfellow : The third of the triumvirate
3 : Chorister : Mathematically reasonable
3 : Sharkshooter : The computer geek definition
3 : Wet Kipper : So can we say 1.9 cm?
1 : Gwai : I buy by the third of a yard
-1 : Pearl B4 Swine : None of that sexism here please
3 : Mertseger : Relatively good answer there
3 : Ann : Does that apply to 64 bit processing?
3 : Quizmaster : When did you look in Mozart's case?
3 : The Rogue : A full and complete surrealist answer
1 : Jim Goodfellow : Goodfellow's Law does not work here
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
TOP OF THE TABLE

20 Chorister
17 Banner Lady
17 Cusanus
17 Sharkshooter
17 Wet Kipper
16 Jedijudy
15 Lady in Red
15 Mertseger
14 Ann
14 Jon J
13 Dogwonderer
13 Icklejen
12 Gwai
11 Davelarge

Q7) Can you tell me a joke that is 100% PC
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
7) If you think there's a joke out there that won't offend SOMEONE, then the joke's on you!
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a7) No, I cannot tell jokes at all (PC or not) successfully. I can quip sarcastically, make an infinite number of puns, and spout strange, intriguing and occasionally funny references at will. But tell you a joke? No, not at all.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A7) Windows
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A7) Here's my 100% P.C. joke:

Thieves rob a toilet and 2 dogs from the local police station. A spokesperson for the police said they have no leads and nothing to go on.
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
Yes. Shall I?

[ 21. January 2008, 20:32: Message edited by: Gwai ]
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
A7: I am sorry that I cant find a link to this.. but you may remember this from the excellant Spitting Image puppet show.

Maggie Thatcher is sitting with the Cabinet members around the dining table.

A waiter approaches, bows, and asks madam how she would like her steak?

......RAW she barks.

Aaaaaand Wwwwhat about the vegetables he quivers?

...............and she replies............

They will have the same!

Politically Correct I should say so.

Spot On.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q7) Can you tell me a joke that is 100% PC

---

Only if you promise to laugh...
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
7) I've heard some people say their PCC is a joke, but then it'd only be 66.66(recurring)% PC, and not 100%
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
7) Ah well, of course MY favourite politically correct joke is this one:

A cannibal was walking through the jungle when he came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu.

* Grilled Tourist $5
* Broiled Missionary $10
* Fried Explorer $15
* Baked Politician $100

The cannibal called the restauranteur over and asked "Why such a price difference for the Baked Politician?"

The restauranteur replied "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all morning!"
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A7: Erm.. How many middle class Anglophone white make patriarchal oppressors does iot take to change a lightbulb? None, because they realy on the labour of the alienated migrant female underclass, bound in domestic servitude, to do it for them.

(Hey, I know it's not very good, but I think I should get credit for making it up on the spot.)
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
didn't your mother tell you to ask "may you" not "can you" ? tsk, what is the world coming to?
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Problem, Can Paul Criticize Piano Concert?

Please! Can't Practice Chopin Piece, Can't Play Concert Pianist's Concerto. Paul's Counter Point Completely, Painfully Crashes.
 

---

Posted by Jim Goodfellow (# 12121) on :
 
Who could be offended by this little joky?

First woman: Are you going to Mildred's funeral?
Second woman: Oh yes, I haven't seen her for ages.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Seven

3 : Banner Lady : Reasonable start
3 : Mertseger : Honesty is the best policy
3 : Ann : A truer word was never uttered
2 : Chorister : All PC apart from the toilet
3 : Gwai : An original take there
3 : Footdoc : I remember that one - fantastic
2 : Davelarge : Good effort following Gwai
2 : Wet Kipper : You get 66.66% of a full score
-1 : Banner Lady : I love the joke, but it's your 2nd go
-2 : Cusanus : Love the joke, not very PC though
1 : Icklejen : Nice effort - missed me by yards
3 : Jedijudy : A unique effort from a unique lady
1 : Jim Goodfellow : Like the joke, missing the PC
2 : Ann : Bonus from Davelarge & Jedijudy
1 : Jedijudy : Bonus from Footdoc
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:

2 : Chorister : All PC apart from the toilet

---

quote:

---

1 : Jedijudy : Bonus from Footdoc

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wet Kipper:
but Judy - Big Ben is the name of the bell, not the clock !

---

But can't you tell the Great Time from listening to the Bell?
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
A moment or time period that is particularly good or particularly important.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
8) anything that involves
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
Well it's definitely going to include chocolate sauce...
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
8)when you start and stop the stop-watch correctly and accurately.
 

---

Posted by Jim Goodfellow (# 12121) on :
 
A great time is when you're too pissed to remember who you had it with (or with whom you had it)
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
I will go for 356 - 323 B.C..
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Eight

2 : Jedijudy : A point knocked off by Wet Kipper Big Ben
3 : Ann : A valid answer The Cretaceous
3 : Mertseger : The periodical answer Time magazine
3 : Footdoc : Up to your usual standards Making Coleslaw
1 : Chorister : Not your usual standard A time of great success
3 : Banner Lady : Just being in Australia is enough Month of Summer Holidays
3 : Cusanus : A particularly rare choice 3.30 p.m.
1 : Jedijudy : Point back for the response Listening to the Bell
1 : Gwai : Have you been reading a dictionary? Particularly important time
3 : Icklejen : Telling it in pictures Smilies
3 : Davelarge : Demonstrating your female side? It is going to include chocolate sauce
3 : Wet Kipper : Took me two goes to get that one Start and stop the stop-watch correctly
2 : Jim Goodfellow : Too similar to Banner Lady When you are too pissed to remember
3 : Quizmaster : A great time in Macedonia perhaps Alexander the Great
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
TOP OF THE TABLE

23 Chorister
23 Jedijudy
22 Ann
22 Banner Lady
22 Wet Kipper
21 Mertseger
18 Cusanus
17 Icklejen
17 Sharkshooter
16 Davelarge
16 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
13 Dogwonderer
12 Footdoc
10 Quizmaster


Q9) When should you make a beeline?
 

---

Posted by dogwonderer (# 12169) on :
 
Q7) Can you tell me a joke that is 100% PC
A7) Yup. I can even do it twice: A joke that is 100% PC. A joke that is 100% PC.


Q8) What is the definition of a great time?
A8) It’s the act of defining or making definite, distinct, or clear a great time. [definition of ‘definition’ from dictionary.com]


Q9) When should you make a beeline?
A9) After you’ve made an aline.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
9) I've been making a B-line for years. (My A-line dress days are sadly behind me). Probably because I will very sensibly always make a beeline for chocolate. Who's with me?

[ 23. January 2008, 19:12: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a9) I would have bees form a line at the most exclusive bee venues and nightspots. However, it is rather difficult to make velvet ropes of the appropriate size for an apiary of any level of cachet. Lord knows I've tried.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
I would make a B-Line if I wanted an affordable home with an elegant, contemporary design and the freedom to design my own living space.

(By the way, how many rounds will there be?)
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
9) I would think that a stripeless bee would appreciate very much if someone (me?) would draw a bee-line or three on her furry self.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
9) no, no, dear Sir, you have spelled it wrong.
It's actually written Bellini*
and you should have one made for you after dinner, as you sit on the hotel terrace, looking at the view^


* Wikipedia article
^ Flickr photo
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
I'd make a bee-line if I turned up at the right time and place for a bus in Westchester.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A9) I'd make a beeline if I needed to look buzzy.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A9) I'd make a B-Line when running away from the A-Team.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A9)when there's chocolate sauce on offer...
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
A9: I would make a bee line to the doctor if I got a bad case of hives.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for this round

3 : Dogwonderer : A7) Thanks for telling me
3 : Dogwonderer : A8) A definitive answer there
3 : Dogwonderer : A9) Logically correct answer
3 : Banner Lady : I have a strange picture in my mind
1 : Mertseger : I think I missed something there
3 : Davelarge : Are you actually thinking of moving?
3 : Jedijudy : I wholeheartedly agree
3 : Wet Kipper : What an absolutely perfect thought
3 : Chorister : I love maps I do
3 : Ann : Nice line that one honey
3 : Cusanus : Good way to avoid explosives
3 : Icklejen : Davelarge was right then
3 : Footdoc : My personal favourite this round
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
TOP OF THE TABLE

26 Chorister
26 Jedijudy
25 Ann
25 Banner Lady
25 Wet Kipper
22 Dogwonderer
22 Mertseger
21 Cusanus
20 Icklejen
19 Davelarge
17 Sharkshooter
16 Gwai
15 Footdoc
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J

Please PM me any ideas for the next round next week.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
TOP OF THE TABLE

26 Chorister
26 Jedijudy
25 Ann
25 Banner Lady
25 Wet Kipper

---

It's pretty close at the top of the league... unmissable entertainment
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
And I missed off a score from that last round:

1 : Wet Kipper : Bonus from Jedijudy

Sorry about that:

TOP OF THE TABLE

26 Chorister
26 Jedijudy
26 Wet Kipper
25 Ann
25 Banner Lady

Any more ideas for future questions? I have had some good ones already.

[ 26. January 2008, 13:05: Message edited by: Quizmaster ]
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
When someone tells me to buzz off
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Extra points to Gwai there - so to recap:

3 : Dogwonderer : A7) Thanks for telling me
3 : Dogwonderer : A8) A definitive answer there
3 : Dogwonderer : A9) Logically correct answer
3 : Banner Lady : I have a strange picture in my mind
1 : Mertseger : I think I missed something there
3 : Davelarge : Are you actually thinking of moving?
3 : Jedijudy : I wholeheartedly agree
3 : Wet Kipper : What an absolutely perfect thought
3 : Chorister : I love maps I do
3 : Ann : Nice line that one honey
3 : Cusanus : Good way to avoid explosives
3 : Icklejen : Davelarge was right then
3 : Footdoc : My personal favourite this round
1 : Wet Kipper : Bonus from Jedijudy
3 : Gwai : Good use of the cue word there

TOP OF THE TABLE

26 Chorister
26 Jedijudy
26 Wet Kipper
25 Ann
25 Banner Lady
22 Dogwonderer
22 Mertseger
21 Cusanus
20 Icklejen
19 Davelarge
19 Gwai
17 Sharkshooter
15 Footdoc
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J


Be very careful how you answer this one - a brilliant idea.


Q10) How many points should I award you?
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 10: How many points should I awad you?

A: The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.

But..... Speaking as a girlie, I hope you will give me the most you are able and a bonus for being first to reply.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q10) As the old rhyme goes:

North, South, East, West,
Quizmaster always knows the best.

So I make that four - points of the compass, that is.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
10) well they say it's rude to point, but in your case I'll make an exception.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A10) If you could just point me in the right direction, that should suffice.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
I've been away, so shall endeavour to catch up:

A7) Can you tell me a joke tha tis 100% PC? Yes, as long as it doesn't have to be funny.

A8) I don't know what the definition of "a great time" is now, but it used to be "had by all": Don't you remember the saying "A great time was had by all!"

A9) When should you make a beeline? When the eh*-line doesn't work anymore.

A10) It is not that you should award me points, it is that you cannot do otherwise.

* to be read like a Canadian, eh.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
I think you should give me five points just because I'm wonderful

(Just ask ij - she'll agree!)
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a10) The moral imperatives at play in this situation are weak at best; therefore, giving due consideration to fairness and good judgment you should award me as many points as you might feel are appropriate given the relative merits of the other entries posted in response to the question at hand (the tenth question in this competition, in this specific case) and your vast experience at similar instances of point allocation including but not limited to prior instances of the quiz-offs and the periodic Knock-out Quizzes and other sundry competitions of which I might well be unaware given that our acquaintance has to this time at least been mediated solely through the media of on-line fora and in consideration of any other criteria that you might deem appropriate to the purpose at hand not the least of which should include the pithiness and effectiveness of said responses at engaging the issues inherent in the question at hand (the aforementioned tenth question) with some possible consideration to the recommendation of the contestant contained their respective response to wit in my case: two hundred, which, as it happens, is precisely the number of words (according to Microsoft Word) in this soporifically long sentence.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
I must ask you, how sharp are these points? Are they to be aimed at any tender and fragile parts of me (virtually 100% of my delicate self)? Are they given gently or will this award be filled with much merriment and dangerous force? Your answers, kind Sir, will determine how many points I think I can bear.
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
More than I deserve!
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for round 10

2 : Footdoc : Full marks for answer, -1 for spelling
4 : Chorister : Four very valid points there
3 : Wet Kipper : How very rude
2 : Ann : It is this way, come closer
1 : Sharkshooter : A7) Jokes have to be funny
3 : Sharkshooter : A8) for that historical definition
2 : Sharkshooter : A9) Straining to link eh and A
3 : Sharkshooter : A10) Wise words
1 : Davelarge : Excessive demand duly rewarded
3 : Mertseger : A legally sound answer
3 : Jedijudy : Getting the point very quickly
3 : Gwai : And here are your precious mores


TOP OF THE TABLE

30 Chorister
29 Jedijudy
29 Wet Kipper
27 Ann
26 Sharkshooter
25 Banner Lady
25 Mertseger
22 Dogwonderer
22 Gwai
21 Cusanus
20 Davelarge
20 Icklejen
17 Footdoc
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J


Q11) Is this the way to Amarillo?

[ 29. January 2008, 18:37: Message edited by: Quizmaster ]
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A11) You should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A10) Lots. On account of I am a spikey Anglo-Catholic.

A11) No it's not. Now put that pillow down and stop weeping.
 

---

Posted by dogwonderer (# 12169) on :
 
Q10) How many points should I award you?
A10) It depends if points really mean prizes.

Q11) Is this the way to Amarillo?
A11) No, all the marillos went thataway.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 11. Is this the way to Amarillo?
A: Shakes head mutely thinking "If I had a pound for everytime some idiot thinks that is the first time I have ever been asked that".... then announcing politely as if it was the first time some idiot had indeed asked that very same poser.
NO Sir! I beleive you mean Armadillo, and if you carry straight on past the Aardvaark, and AntEater, you cant fail to miss him. Careful as you go Sir and watch where you put your feet, and no walking on the grass, and please do not feed the animals.

Elephants to your left Madame... Have a nice day!
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q11) Sha la la lala lalala Sha la la lala lalala Sha la la lala lalala I can't hear you.
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a10) (With apologies to Thomas the Rhymer)

‘O see ye not yon narrow road,
So thick beset wi’ thorns and briers?
That is the Path of Righteousness,
Though after it but few inquires.

‘And see ye not yon braid, braid road,
That lies across the lily leven?
That is the Path of Wickedness,
Though some call it the Road to Heaven.

‘And see ye not yon bonny road
That winds about the fernie brae?
That is the Road to fair Amarillo,
Where thou and I this night maun gae.'
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
Q11) Is this the way to Amarillo?

A 11) Which marillo? There's more'n one, dontcha kno?

[ 29. January 2008, 22:47: Message edited by: sharkshooter ]
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
11) No, but this is the weigh to Amarillo. We'll see if you packed too much in your luggage before you get on the plane.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
10) It's not just that I need points, but also that I could do with Arsenal and Man Utd losing 4 each!

11) Go to Spain and look at a light with a wavelength of 570-580nm *

*Amarillo is yellow in Spanish
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
No, but having lived near there, I advise thanking your stars that this isn't the way there.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Eleven

2 : Ann : Not on my route map
1 : Cusanus : A10) I make you a punk prayer?
3 : Cusanus : A11) Good use of the lyrics there
1 : Dogwonderer : A10) No prizes in this game
3 : Dogwonderer : No marillos at all this way?
3 : Footdoc : Using the obvious misinterpretation
3 : Chorister : Beautifully sung (like a chorister)
3 : Mertseger : That is not how I remember that
2 : Sharkshooter : J.D.Salinger has competishun I see
3 : Jedijudy : Choosing a different word to misuse
1 : Icklejen : A10) Keep dreaming girl
4 : Icklejen : A11) Brilliant and I learned something
3 : Gwai : Expressing a strong opinion
1 : Cusanus : Bonus from Chorister

TOP OF THE TABLE

33 Chorister
32 Jedijudy
29 Ann
29 Wet Kipper
28 Mertseger
28 Sharkshooter
26 Cusanus
26 Dogwonderer
25 Banner Lady
25 Gwai
25 Icklejen
20 Davelarge
20 Footdoc
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J


Q12) Where would you go by the boards?
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 12: Where would you go by the boards?

A: When you wanted to stick to the straight and narrow.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
Down a mountain, of course.

[ 30. January 2008, 19:23: Message edited by: sharkshooter ]
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A12: When I walk past the front of the classroom.
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a12) I'd definitely go buy the boards at Dive 'N Surf mostly out of guilt since one of my friends kidnapped their surfing Santa statue when I was in high school.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
I go by these bawds when I want to see a play.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A12) These are the boards! There are other boards?
 

---

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
When I die I guess.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
12) Well, if I would decide to build a deck or something, I might want to go by (or buy) these boards!

[Spelink...of course]

[ 31. January 2008, 10:54: Message edited by: jedijudy ]
 

---

Posted by Barnabas62 (# 9110) on :
 
(late new entrant - wish I'd seen this earlier)

Horning! (Oh sorry! Boards, not Broads)
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
A11: Er, Amarillo, let's see. Um... I don't think you can get there from here.

A12: When I'm on ice
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Twelve

3 : Footdoc : Scraping the floor with that one
3 : Sharkshooter : I do miss my old skiing holidays
3 : Cusanus : Do you have any pets, teacher?
3 : Mertseger : Like the true life story too
3 : Chorister : First to twist the word bored
3 : Icklejen : Great Sales job if obvious
-1 : Gwai : Taking the phrase too literally
3 : Jedijudy : First to play with the word bye
3 : Barnabas62 : Nice play(ce) on words there
3 : Davelarge : A11) Quite right you cannot
3 : Davelarge : A12) That reminds me of ski holidays
2 : Icklejen : Bonus (plus) from Cusanus for A10


Note 1: I added one to Icklejen as I would not normally give minimum marks to an answer that has got a bonus.

Note 2: Barnabas62 - By the rules you are entitled to have a go at earlier rounds but be careful not to repeat anything that has gone before.


TOP OF THE TABLE

36 Chorister
35 Jedijudy
31 Mertseger
31 Sharkshooter
30 Icklejen
29 Ann
29 Cusanus
29 Wet Kipper
26 Davelarge
26 Dogwonderer
25 Banner Lady
24 Gwai
23 Footdoc


Q13) Why wait?
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a13) For the oh so generous tips (in the US, at least), of course.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
Because of mass and gravity.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
If you did'nt have weight you wouldnt be able to weigh a whale at a weigh whale station.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
I've got some catching up to do

11)Amar's over there, yes - but don't call me "Illo", I'm only slightly unwell

12)I'd go buy some boards from a Board Shop, obviously.

13)because another one will be along soon, you'll see.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
No! I say No ! In this age if instant gratification, I will not wait! I want it and I want it Now!

*kicks feet and puts thumb in mouth*
*oh, and scowls*
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
Coz my youth leader told me to - and all GLEs do exactly what their youth leader's tell them, it doesn't make them want to do the exact opposite and rebel, oh no sirree, rules are there for the keeping!
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q13) to guard the town and provide lovely music for everyone to listen to.

they're good, btw!
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q13) Why wait?

---

Because patience is a virtue. Honest.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
I am surprised nobody tried .....


Because it pays the bills between acting jobs.


 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q 10) How many points should I award you?
A: Sweetheart, women like me are expensive, because we want it all...

Q 11) Can you show me the way to Amarillo?
A: Yes. It's after 'amoral' and before 'armadillo'.

Q 12) Where would you go by the boards?
A: I always go past the boreds and straight to my happy place. My therapist taught me this. Just don't tell her that my happy place happens to be a bar.

Q 13) Why wait?
A: What, at my happy place? Gladly! Feel free to join me, darling, the more the merrier. (And it's my shout if you've come through on Q10.)
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A13: Because it's the place to go if you're into plant functional genomics.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Sorry, I am out for the night.

Next round tomorrow.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Thirteen

3 : Mertseger : Nice link there
3 : Sharkshooter : First to listen to the word
1 : Footdoc : Bad joke told wrong earns you a point
3 : Wet Kipper : A11) Brilliant twist there
3 : Wet Kipper : A12) Full marks for that one
3 : Wet Kipper : A13) Nobody else tried that one
2 : Jedijudy : Nice rant but I am not impressed
3 : Icklejen : Should I ask Dave if you are fibbing?
3 : Chorister : Now that is something I did not know
3 : Davelarge : I am glad we have virtuous players
1 : Quizmaster : Try reading the Mertseger entry
1 : Banner Lady : A10) But you don't always get it
3 : Banner Lady : A11) Now you have me thinking
3 : Banner Lady : A12) Cheers
3 : Banner Lady : A13) Nice combination answer there
3 : Cusanus : Vegetation Research is a good idea
1 : Cusanus : Bonus from Ann for answer to Q12


TOP OF THE TABLE

39 Chorister
38 Wet Kipper
37 Jedijudy
35 Banner Lady
34 Mertseger
34 Sharkshooter
33 Cusanus
33 Icklejen
29 Ann
29 Davelarge
26 Dogwonderer
24 Footdoc
24 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
11 Quizmaster


Q14) How do you do?
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q14) Grecian, to you. My 'do' is usually rather Grecian to look at (even though I'm not).
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A 14) Well as a housewife, and therefore well-versed in the habits of a woman who 'does', I can tell you that I 'do' by first flicking the duster about and then vacuuming up.
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
A14) I follow the ancient koan someone made up last century:

"To be is to do"--Socrates.
"To do is to be"--Jean-Paul Sartre.
"Do be do be do"--Frank Sinatra.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
14) I do...well, I did when I was due to answer the preacher's question. But, "I do" turned to "I don't", then it was all doo doo after that.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
14) I do with accordance to the instructions given in the self help manual "How do YOU do"
published by Pennit and Scarper.
Chapter 3, paragraph 2. Page 10.
However I do admit that the spider diagram which extends to page 156 is slightly confusing.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
...


Q14) How do you do?

---

Who are you? My shrink?
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Fourteen

3 : Banner Lady : What about your hair?
3 : Chorister : The Lady who does
3 : Mertseger : I do I do I do I do I do - Abba
3 : Jedijudy : So in actual fact you didn't
3 : Footdoc : That cannot be a real book
3 : Sharkshooter : I shrink before I spam


TOP OF THE TABLE

42 Chorister
40 Jedijudy
38 Banner Lady
38 Wet Kipper
37 Mertseger
37 Sharkshooter
33 Cusanus
33 Icklejen
29 Ann
29 Davelarge
27 Footdoc
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai


Q15) How do you eat yours?
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Q15) How do you eat yours...

Somehow I dont fancy mine at all now, so the answer has to be I didnt. gooooeey
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
15) Why? Haven't you figured out how to eat yours?

Should I tell him about the...no, he'll find it soon himself, I'm sure.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
14) I do good.

15) I beat it till it stops moving then throw it on the grill.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
14) Da do run ron?

15) We've already been over this: I eat mine with chocolate sauce.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q15) how do you eat yaws? well, I suppose you pick off the scabs with your teeth if you must.

Note to Quizmaster: do not read this post and click on the link while you are eating your supper. I wouldn't want you to feel more ill than strictly necessary.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
14) just like Betty Boo does, when she's Doin' the Do

15)Bite off the top, suck out the insides, and chomp on the rest
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q15) Happily; joyfully; deliciously...with the juice running down my chin...
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
14) Well, if my boss asks, I'm sick with the flu. Shhh, don't tell!

15) I don't, I gave it up for Lent
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Fifteen

2 : Footdoc : So we know how you AVOID eating
3 : Jedijudy : I follow the seefood diet you know
3 : Cusanus : A14) It shows
3 : Cusanus : A15) Steak and eggs for me please
3 : Davelarge : A14) Well that is a different take
3 : Davelarge : A15) Consistent at least
3 : Chorister : Unlike you to go for the sick option
3 : Wet Kipper : A14) The musical answer
3 : Wet Kipper : A15) A fine eggzample to us all
3 : Banner Lady : My personal favourite - Lovely image
3 : Icklejen : A14) You naughty little Ickle
3 : Icklejen : A15) You true zealot
1 : Jedijudy : Bonus from Wet Kipper for Q14


TOP OF THE TABLE

45 Chorister
44 Jedijudy
44 Wet Kipper
41 Banner Lady
39 Cusanus
39 Icklejen
37 Mertseger
37 Sharkshooter
35 Davelarge
29 Ann
29 Footdoc
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai


Thank you all for your suggestions - keep them coming. A great idea this next one.


Q16) Where's Wally?
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
16) Well, he's definitely not working to his full potential...
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
...
Q15) How do you eat yours?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q16) Where's Wally?

---

London.

.
.
.
Ontario, Canada, that is.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q16) Actually, wherever he is he's not very welcome. Believe it or not he's in the top 100 of banned books worldwide. His creator, on the other hand, is very welcome in every millionaire's club in the world!(Now there's someone I WOULD like to find...)
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q16) Trapped inside a Scottish song.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
16) Apparently he's part of a plot.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
16) Wall-E is coming soon to a cinema near you.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
He's called Waldo here in N. America. He's hiding and using a pseudonym, , I'm guessing the CIA are looking for him too.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 16) Wheres Wally?

Right here in Wally's cafe Boston Massachusetts, looks like a lot of fun.
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
Beaver's big brother? That Wally?
He's up in his room - alone.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
16) Yes doesn't it?
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a15)I eat mine with a bit of spicy sauce. Gong Hei Fat Choy!.

a16)Wally is in an upper left-hand square in heaven.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Points for Round Sixteen

3 : Davelarge : You can be the chairman
3 : Sharkshooter : You are now in charge of catering
3 : Sharkshooter : Doubling up as entertainment rep
1 : Banner Lady : Why would they ever ban wally?
2 : Chorister : Nice but I can't read Scottish
3 : Jedijudy : My favourite answer of all so far
3 : Wet Kipper : New man in charge of entertainment
3 : Icklejen : Our agent in America speaks
3 : Footdoc : We should have a Boston meet there
3 : Pearl B4 Swine : That’s the best place for him
3 : Cusanus : I love it - Some people will miss it
3 : Mertseger : A15) Appropriate timing
2 : Mertseger : A16) You nearly had me watching


TOP OF THE TABLE

47 Chorister
47 Jedijudy
47 Wet Kipper
43 Sharkshooter
42 Banner Lady
42 Cusanus
42 Icklejen
42 Mertseger
38 Davelarge
32 Footdoc
29 Ann
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
11 Quizmaster
8 Jim Goodfellow
8 Mr. E
8 Pearl B4 Swine
8 Smudgie


Q17) How many beans make five?
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A17) Two human beans are perfectly capable of making five, given some low lighting, a warm moonlit night, some soft, romantic music and a fertility drug thrown in for good measure.
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A17) Two beans, bean and a half, half a bean and a bean.

(I'll try to get back to the other questions when my brain can cope - unexpectedly busy at the moment)
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q17) 10 has beens elsewhere, but only 2 if you're Australian.

And why was Wally banned from so many countries and school libraries? Because in many of the pictures there are slightly naughty things to be found: like in the beach picture where there is a topless sunbather, although my youngest child tells me it was really very tame stuff. Which has me worried...tame compared to what, I wonder?
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
17) Apparently it only takes one Bean.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q17) How many beans make five?

---

Surely there's a few typos there. Everyone knows that Beanz meanz Heinz, and there are in fact 57 varieties.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 17)
If you lay the beans out to spell out the word FIVE you would need 15 beans.
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
#17 : You people are concentrating on the wrong part of the question. Its the 'five' part that's interesting. Five is either 3 + 2, or 2 + 3, as is taught in conducting class. Choir singers however, always try to round up to 6 or down to 4, by inserting a 1 beat rest, or hurrying over a pair of notes. Having them listen to Take Five [/URL] does no good what-so-ever.
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
Sorry about the link. I don't know 'beans' about how to do that
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a18)Since beans do not have fingers or any cognitive facilities whatsoever none can write, and, therefore, no number of beans collectively or individually can make "5".
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Seventeen

3 : Chorister : Quintuplets for the couple please
2 : Ann : Obvious answer but accurate
3 : Banner Lady : Long live the republic of Australia
3 : Jedijudy : Mr Bean lives on
3 : Davelarge : Beans Means Heinz 57
4 : Footdoc : For making me laugh out loud
3 : Pearl B4 Swine : All points for the 'Don’t know beans'
3 : Mertseger : An excellent analysis of the facts


TOP OF THE TABLE

50 Chorister
50 Jedijudy
47 Wet Kipper
45 Banner Lady
45 Mertseger
43 Sharkshooter
42 Cusanus
42 Icklejen
41 Davelarge
36 Footdoc
31 Ann
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
11 Pearl B4 Swine
11 Quizmaster


Q18) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A 18) If a woodchuck could chuck Wood, presumably the woodchuck would chuck all of him (unless bits of him - his arms, and legs, or other unmentionables, were to drop off while he was being chucked. As I believe Wood is rather attached to his extremeties, I think on balance that is extremely unlikely).

While pondering this deep and meaningful question, you may like to visit this site which doesn't realise we are talking about a shipmate called Wood and thinks we are talking about this sort of wood!
 

---

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
A18) Who's Wood?
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q18) Would he could he should he good be, he'd do it only once.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A17) 5 beans is the number of beans that United are behind (this makes me happy!, the 8 beans we need don't, but I'm sure Mr Abramovich could afford a tin or two!)

A18) I've dealt with that much at work, coz the wee ones all have stomach flu, I'd really rather not talk about up-chuck anymore.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
LeChuck clearly does not have enough time to be chucking wood, given that he's after Big Whoop.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 18) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

These darn critters are trouble enough without encouraging them to chuck wood around.

So I hope the answer would be none... but I expect it would probably be ..." too much". here
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
... Q17) How many beans make five?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q18) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

---

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

[ 14. February 2008, 15:30: Message edited by: sharkshooter ]
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
18)How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. I don't believe a woodchuck would chuck wood at all, as it involves too much heavy lifting. As I recall, they would rather chuck marshmallows into their wide-opened mouths. This is based on sad experience, I tell you. Greedy little varmints. Whoever heard of marshmallowless s'mores? Well, bucko, that's what you get when the woodchuck helps himself to the marshmallow bag.

There were tears, I tell you.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Eighteen

3 : Chorister : Would that Wood would
3 : Ann : Does it really matter whose wood it is?
3 : Banner Lady : Rhyme in time and chime for a dime
3 : Icklejen : A17) Five beans makes me happy too
2 : Icklejen : A18) Lovely thought that baby sick
3 : Davelarge : I played all the Monkey Islands once
3 : Footdoc : Woodchucks are vermin all right
1 : Sharkshooter : My digestive track is pulsing already
3 : Sharkshooter : It is hard to argue with that Chuckie
3 : Jedijudy : What a sad sad tale of woodchuck woe
1 : Ann : Bonus from Chorister

TOP OF THE TABLE

53 Chorister
53 Jedijudy
48 Banner Lady
47 Icklejen
47 Sharkshooter
47 Wet Kipper
45 Mertseger
44 Davelarge
42 Cusanus
39 Footdoc
35 Ann


Q19) How dare you?
 

---

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
The wood he did chuck, he should not have; and the wood he could not chuck, he did not; and the wood he left unchucked he surely should have chucked; yea, the woodchuck builded him a dam with a quantity of chucked wood, many cubits tall and deep, the number of chucked woods unknown except to the Almighty, who keepeth track of such things.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
19) I've been told by people who seem to know, that I seem to have not grown out of the "indestructible" phase of teen-agedness. What seems to me to be a normal, well-considered course (walking on the railroad trestle about 150 feet in the air, without checking on the rail schedule) apparently was seen to be daring to reasonable folks. So, I dare because of ignorance and folly.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q19) Because it's fun!
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
Coz he who dares wins!
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 19) How dare you?

I think you might be meaning this

All I can say is I am sorry and.... The voices made me do it!
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A19) I'm very dwell, dthank you, but isn't it dstrange how on both our dcomputers the 'd' key dkeeps getting dstuck?
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
...Q19) How dare you?...

---

One bite at a time.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
A19) usually with double dogs, so the other person is less likely to back down.

(am still working on the other Qs)
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
A17) it depends on how many beans you've already got.
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a18)Your typical woodchuck would chuck about a 1/4 cord given sufficient time and inclination.

a19)It seemed like a good idea at the time.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
18) Could ? Would ? you're forgetting the more important question of whether or not a woodchuck should chuck wood.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
17. 4.9999...
18. Who is Chuck Wood and what has he done to annoy North American rodents?
19. Am I bovvered?
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Apologies to those who love this thread. My sudden development of a social life must be quite distressing. Last night I was in the pub with some Speedway fans and tonight we watched the Holiday on Ice Romanza performance.

Next Round Tomorrow.....Before/After the Football.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Quizmaster has a life outside of the Ship? Who knew?

Enjoy your fun time, oh great and grand QM!
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Bonus for Jedijudy!

Marks for Round Nineteen:

2 : Pearl B4 Swine : A18) A reasonable attempt at chucking
3 : Jedijudy : That seems spot on to me
3 : Banner Lady : Too true my lady
3 : Icklejen : Have a word with Chelsea then
2 : Footdoc : Definitely a different twist
3 : Chorister : Ddreaddfully goodd Iddea ddear
3 : Sharkshooter : Bad cookies just don’t exist
3 : Wet Kipper : That's a shiatsu attempt
3 : Wet Kipper : A17) It does that does it not?
3 : Mertseger : A18) I will not ask for the proof
3 : Mertseger : A19) Obvious but acceptable
3 : Wet Kipper : A18) Should a shoed woodchuck?
3 : Cusanus : A17) I will accept that partial answer
3 : Cusanus : A18) A new take on that one for me
3 : Cusanus : A19) The fashionable answer
1 : Chorister : Bonus from Jedijudy
0 : Jedijudy : Bonus from Quizmaster for crawling


TOP OF THE TABLE

57 Chorister
56 Jedijudy
56 Wet Kipper
51 Banner Lady
51 Cusanus
51 Mertseger
50 Icklejen
50 Sharkshooter
44 Davelarge
41 Footdoc
35 Ann
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
13 Pearl B4 Swine


Q20) When will you get around to it?
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
I got a round tuit when I was a teenager.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
20)Here it is! I'll have it as soon as I print it.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
19) I'll take truth, this time.

20) I'll get around to IT just as soon as I've got my computer working...
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
q20) At the second coming.
 

---

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :
 
a20) Any day now: I plan to get started just as soon as Chinese Democracy comes out.
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
Q20 Not until stimulated amongst the Tumbleweed it would seem.

• Q1 Cautiously
• Q2 An empty palace, until one returns with one's staff
• Q3 You scuff the line in the sand
• Q4 You just take a deco at it and decide
• Q5 Absolutely no rice, none whatsoever
• Q6 A cable's length
• Q7 Three women walk into a bar, the first orders a G&T, the second orders a glass of white wine and the third turns to the other two and says: "Hooray, we've colonised a male dominated joke format" (Copyright Mr Bill Bailey, who tells it so much better than me.)
• Q8 The moment in which the achievement of your desire is imminent, especially if it involves chocolate
• Q9 When you want to enter your waggle dance in a hoe down
• Q10 I think you should stick to your usual impressionistic approach
• Q11 No, this is Austin Texas Mental Hospital and you are the Asshole from El Paso, you Broke Down South of Dallas - you kept telling everyone that the Devil Lives In Dallas and that there was a Dracula From Houston, If You Ever Get Back To Amarillo - don't you forget your Pretty Little Lady from Beaumont
• Q12 When browsing round the 'burbs for rental properties
• Q13 Because good malt whiskey takes time
• Q14 On a toilet, I only use a poop-a-scoop for doggy doo
• Q15 I can't, my spine is not flexible enough ...
• Q16 Well, it was quite a journey but he gave up his humanity in the end, so he's a bit nebulous and omnipresent nowadays though he does take human form
• Q17 Some beans and another bean
• Q18 Well a woodchuck weighs about 10 pounds, so about the size of a small baby - and your average small baby can chuck a small wooden building block the exact distance from its hand to your eye - so that'd be my guess
• Q19 Well it is after the watershed

I like to think of my entry as a piece of postmodernist literature, you may disagree - probably violently.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A20) Jeez, who are you, my mother???
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
It is never too late as you are about to see:

Marks for Round Twenty

3 : Sharkshooter : I expected that one and there it is
3 : Jedijudy : A round two it certainly is
3 : Davelarge : A19) A good choice in this instance
3 : Davelarge : A20) A novel take and I like it
3 : Banner Lady : I would not want you to hurry
2 : Mertseger : I think that is a personal taste
3 : Doublethink : A20) Maybe I should have stayed away
3 : Doublethink : A1) I agree with you there
3 : Doublethink : A2) Oh how the other half live
3 : Doublethink : A3) You are a beach games expert
3 : Doublethink : A4) A casual approach but valid
3 : Doublethink : A5) Oddly enough I like that
3 : Doublethink : A6) What a good answer
3 : Doublethink : A7) Brilliant as I had not heard it
3 : Doublethink : A8) That confirms your feminine status
2 : Doublethink : A9) Close but first dropped point
3 : Doublethink : A10) Full marks for that impression
3 : Doublethink : A11) I only did New York to D.C.
3 : Doublethink : A12) Speaking from experience?
3 : Doublethink : A13) A valid alcoholic reason
3 : Doublethink : A14) Using lavatorial language
3 : Doublethink : A15) I had to stop and think there
3 : Doublethink : A16) A new character to me
1 : Doublethink : A17) I expect more from YOU
3 : Doublethink : A18) Mothering get to you at all?
3 : Doublethink : A19) Which explains your A15 score
3 : Icklejen : Love the mock disdain

TOP OF THE TABLE

59 Jedijudy
57 Chorister
57 Doublethink
56 Wet Kipper
54 Banner Lady
53 Icklejen
53 Mertseger
53 Sharkshooter
51 Cusanus
50 Davelarge


Q21) Why bother?
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
A21 Eels, love and guns
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A21) Coz my mother told me too.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
21) When I bother my brother, he gets all red in the face and very, very angry and it's so much fun. Besides, if he tells Mom that I'm bothering him, all she does is tell him to ignore me, so I can keep on doing it!
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
A21) Because that's what brothers do to their sisters. I have no choice, it's in my genes.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Q 20) When will you get around to it?

It's on the to - do list, after I have painted the midnight sky with diamonds,sung a new song to the black birds, and persuaded the man from Del Monte that it is OK to say NO.

I have to hoover the cat, and empty the trash, there are walls to be walked, and trees to be climbed, giants to slay, and thorns to pull... and I still havnt met all the fish in the sea.
or counted the drops in the ocean.

Can you get back to me if its urgent?
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Q21) Why bother?

I dont like to bother anyone... its much more fun to pester Esther!
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q21) Because I care, darling.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
Q20) - I've already done it !
Q21) - no, my Why is currently fine and not causing me any bother at all.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A 20) I will just as soon as you tell me in which pub your table is situated. Then the next round, you can bring to it.

A 21) Coz bovver boots are an essential accessory for every skinhead's wardrobe.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
3 : Icklejen : Love the mock disdain

---

Mock disdain? It looks pretty real to me!

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q21) Why bother?

---

But am I bovvered?

(And, for a slightly different take...)
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A20) Round to what?

A21) I try not to.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
I think we should stop after 25 questions - so we have set the end of the quiz.

Marks for Round Twenty One

2 : Doublethink : I have not got time to listen to it all
3 : Icklejen : Your mother is two powerful an influence
3 : Jedijudy : I had no idea about your dark side
2 : Sharkshooter : Jedijudy got in there first
3 : Footdoc : A20) I shall take that as a no
2 : Footdoc : A21) You bother me all right
3 : Banner Lady : Staying in character very well
3 : Wet Kipper : A20) Good answer even if it is not true
2 : Wet Kipper : A21) Like the twist, not the sentence
3 : Chorister : A20) The Twisted Oak, Ide, Tonight
3 : Chorister : A21) So that is what I am missing
3 : Davelarge : I did like the Ian Hislop bit at the end
3 : Cusanus : A20) A reasonable response
3 : Cusanus : A21) Which explains a lot

TOP OF THE TABLE

63 Chorister
62 Jedijudy
61 Wet Kipper
59 Doublethink
57 Banner Lady
57 Cusanus
56 Icklejen
55 Sharkshooter
53 Davelarge
53 Mertseger
46 Footdoc


Q22) What's on Telly?
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
A22 Your own handsome self.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q22) Quite a lot of red fur last time I checked out Sesame Street...
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Why, it looks like nothing!! Unless you count hairless skin.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A pot plant.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Cusanus, I am reminded of one famous socialite who, when asked what shows she watched on television, replied: "Dahling, television is not for watching as far as I'm concerned; it's for being seen on it."
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
Q22) What's on, Telly?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quizmaster:
What's on Telly?

---

Man, your social life must really be hectic if you're having to ask questions like that!
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q22) What's on t'Elly?

A22) A butterfly by the looks of it.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Twenty Two

2 : Doublethink : I am more aggressive than that
3 : Banner Lady : Sesame street scores highly
3 : Jedijudy : That was the obvious one for me
3 : Cusanus : That was my obvious other one
3 : Sharkshooter : I accept your rebuke for being lazy
4 : Footdoc : Dodgy humour but very funny
3 : Davelarge : Spot on with that observation
3 : Chorister : Right on the button with that one


TOP OF THE TABLE

66 Chorister
65 Jedijudy
61 Doublethink
61 Wet Kipper
60 Banner Lady
60 Cusanus
58 Sharkshooter
56 Davelarge
56 Icklejen
53 Mertseger
50 Footdoc

Q23) Who said that?
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A23) Come on. Who said that? I can wait all day, you know and if I have to keep you in all recess, I'm quite happy to do it. Stop giggling up the back there. I'm waiting...
(Sorry. Flashback)
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A23) Who said that? Yes, they really did, actually.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
23) Dr. Who said that "you know how it is; you put things off for a day and before you know it it's a hundred years later."
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
24) I'm so glad you can't remember either, QM. It makes me feel SO much better. (It's the number of times I've been through "baby-brain syndrome", not the alchohol, I swear...)
 

---

Posted by Pure as the Driven Yellow Snow (# 9397) on :
 
23)

Finally. Twenty two times I've answered with telepathy and for the first time, I think I've got through.

How hard can it be? I mean, for cryin' out loud, Banner Lady has just answered the next question you haven't asked yet.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Q23) Who said that?

Was it him who'd just popped in to say hello?

Who'da thought it. Before long we will be hearing about dogs saying shaushshshsages.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I rest my case. Upper and lower. Ruddy typos... (it's very hard to type holding a glass in one hand, y'know, hic)
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
Q23) Who said that?
The voices in your head.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Twenty Three

3 : Cusanus : Excellent impression of a schoolteacher
3 : Chorister : The Who, excellent, Who's Next?
3 : Jedijudy : One of those casual time travel quotes
3 : Banner Lady : Amnesiacs of this world unite!
-99 : Pure as Snow : Just because you will love that score
4 : Footdoc : Another great effort loved by my wife
3 : Davelarge : I thought it was them but I had to ask


TOP OF THE TABLE

69 Chorister
68 Jedijudy
63 Banner Lady
63 Cusanus
61 Doublethink
61 Wet Kipper
59 Davelarge
58 Sharkshooter
56 Icklejen
54 Footdoc
53 Mertseger


Question 24 will be the last one for this week.

Final question next week.


Q24) How do you feel?
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Aww!! Ewe feels so soft and woolly! I wish you could feel ewe, too!
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
A23 "Get the hell out of it, this is my turf. I'm the Daddy ! You think you know how to do a proper cloacal kiss ? I was presenting dead voles to my favourite twitter when you were yolk ! Eat my pellets, mouselover. What do you think you are, a Lake Duck ?"

(Assuming it was a male Tawny Owl who said, hoo, that is - they pack a lot of meaning into a phoneme those dudes.)
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
Darn the QM posted while I was hunting down my links
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
A24

Graphically

It's an intertexual immediacy,
That inspires an intellectual sensuality.
A communicational vitality,
That constructs the consensual reality,
So the electrical and digital modality
Can adequately convey the emotional totality.
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
Q24) How do you feel?

Hard on the top, squishy in the middle and kind of bony near the bottom.
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A24) I extend my fingers and wave them about a bit until they come in contact with something.
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
A24) Ask my wife. She should know.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A24 - How do I feel? Not as bad as poor Eduardo!
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A 23 - Who said that? Probably Mousethief, he seems to say the most around here.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
A24 - What's on the telly? Well, this weekend there was a man in a blue shirt from the Ivory Coast doing some beautiful acrobatic dives, rolls and twists, and finishing his performance with some genuine well meant gesturing and pleading. Ah such theatre. It was just divine - but sadly he was never taken seriously. I can't think why not? Watch again this Saturday, I'm sure he is capable of a repeat performance...
 

---

Posted by sharkshooter (# 1589) on :
 
A23) Archimedes did.

However, the press didn't think that would sell papyrusses, so, they misquoted him as saying "Eureka". Seems they made the right decision, as noone would have remembered him if he had only been quoted as saying "That!"
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q24) Just between you and me - warm, alive, moist...and grateful.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Q24) How do I feel?

Now that you have developed this social life away from the ship; I didn't think you would have time for this... but hey, I need a therapist and as you asked...The tablets stop me feeling as much as I used to, which is good... but the guilt still gets me every time.... I am not sleeping... and I get sorta choked whenever I think of kittens and bunnies.... and.... blah.... and bleugh.... and my mother is the root of all my problems..... and more blah .... and the voices.... blah (fade gently... going.... going...... )

Thankyou I feel so much better now.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Q24) How do yoof feel?

A 24) Nobody understands me.....
I didn't ask to be born.....
Leave me alone.....
Get off my back....
You can't tell me what to do.....
I've got attitude, man.....
Stay cool....
I can do whatever I like.....
I rule the world....
I feel so deep.....
 

---

Posted by Pure as the Driven Yellow Snow (# 9397) on :
 
Says QM,

quote:

---

-99 : Pure as Snow : Just because you will love that score

---

WHAT, NOW, you read my mind. Sheesh
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
24) I feel like Chicken Tonight
 

---

Posted by Beautiful_Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
24) You tell me...how do I feel?
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
Q22) Nothing, that's why I'm on the Ship !
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
Q23) Who said that ?

well, back on page 1, you were the first to do so, in the opening paragraph. You were quickly followed by Jon J in the very next post, and then Jedijudy, the Great Gumby (in his sig), yourself again, dogwonderer, and Gumby again.

I can't be bothered checking all the other pages.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for the penultimate round:

3 : Jedijudy : Ewe are guilty of woolly thinking
1 : Doublethink : A23) Do you have a lake duck fixation?
3 : Doublethink : I wonder if I can get mine to corkscrew
3 : Davelarge : I shall ask Icklejen about your bottom
3 : Cusanus : That was the one I was waiting for
3 : Sharkshooter : MRS SHARKSHOOTER! Are you there?
3 : Icklejen : A24) Croatia will miss him most
3 : Icklejen : A23) I have heard as much
1 : Ickejen : A22) You should be on football focus
3 : Sharkshooter : A23) Archimedes had a screw loose
3 : Banner Lady : That sounds very good to me
4 : Footdoc : No problem. That will be £5000. Thanks.
3 : Chorister : I do admire your ability to wrench words
3 : Wet Kipper : You watch way too much television
3 : Beautiful Dreamer : You feel wide eyed and furry
3 : Wet Kipper : A22) My previous statement stands strong
3 : Wet Kipper : A23) You win the anorak award


TOP OF THE TABLE

72 Chorister
71 Jedijudy
70 Wet Kipper
66 Banner Lady
66 Cusanus
65 Doublethink
64 Sharkshooter
63 Icklejen
62 Davelarge
58 Footdoc
53 Mertseger
35 Ann
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
13 Pearl B4 Swine
11 Quizmaster
8 Jim Goodfellow
8 Mr. E
8 Smudgie
7 Pax Romana
6 Beautiful Dreamer
6 The Great Gumby


AND THE FINAL QUESTION FOR THIS PARTICULAR THREAD

Q25) Who should win?
 

---

Posted by davelarge (# 186) on :
 
Chorister, because she has the most points.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Question 25) Sigh... Sad as I am to see the end of this quiz... I think the answer to your question should be Who Wins What?

And my nomination of prize to the eventual winner is THIS
Rushes off to compose a winners speech... in case... anybody might need to borrow it of course!

(And Quizzy... with regard to "that £5000," do you take installments? Wash your car? Mow the lawn?)
 

---

Posted by Cusanus (# 692) on :
 
A25) Winning is a phallic construct of the patriarchal capitalist system. Prizes for everyone comrades!
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
25) He (or she) who dares.

You wouldn't want to mess with what the SAS says, would you?
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Q25) I don't really mind; but as a great believer in the common cup, I hope the winner is invested with an enormous trophy and several magnums of champagne to fill it, and then is suitably generous in sharing it about. Well, that's what I would do! Party, anyone?
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
A 25) The smart answer would be 'anyone who doesn't Linux'.

but I think the top prize should go to Ignatius of Loyola for this cracking prayer on the subject:

Teach us, good Lord, to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost;
to fight and not to heed the wounds;
to toil and not to seek for rest;
to labour and not to ask for any reward,
save that of knowing that we do your will.
 

---

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
A25) Dogwonderer, because he'll never know so there is no danger of him being lured into the deadly sin of pride - the rest of us are doomed I say, doomed ...

[ 03. March 2008, 22:05: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
25) Quizmaster should win, because he's the only one who recognized all the correct answers.
 

---

Posted by Beautiful_Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
25) whoever makes the best Mudslide*.


*Kahlua, Bailey's Irish Cream, vodka, milk or vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce. Bonus points if there are chocolate candies ground up on the bottom of the glass.
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
it's ending? if it's ending then nobody wins.
 

---

Posted by Beautiful_Dreamer (# 10880) on :
 
Are you going to start the next thread like this? This was fun!
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for Round Twenty Five

1 : Davelarge : Undoubtedly the most boring answer
1 : Footdoc : That would make a perfectly useless trophy
3 : Cusanus : A man after my own heart - We ALL win
3 : Wet Kipper : An excellent understanding of this game
2 : Banner Lady : You will start the dancing off I hope
2 : Chorister : You and Wet Kipper play this game well
4 : Doublethink : Definitely my kind of thinking
3 : Jedijudy : A very good answer and I like it
2 : Beautiful Dreamer : You and Banner Lady should team up
3 : Icklejen : All good things come to an end

TOP OF THE TABLE

74 Chorister
74 Jedijudy
73 Wet Kipper
69 Cusanus
69 Doublethink
68 Banner Lady
66 Icklejen
64 Sharkshooter
63 Davelarge
59 Footdoc
53 Mertseger
35 Ann
26 Dogwonderer
24 Gwai
15 Lady in Red
14 Jon J
13 Pearl B4 Swine
11 Quizmaster
8 Beautiful Dreamer
8 Jim Goodfellow
8 Mr. E
8 Smudgie


TIEBREAKER) How do I break the tie?
 

---

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :
 
Tiebreaker: You break the tie by giving the first prize to the person who has not yet posted her winning entries....

to whit...

Questions 4-25) As Quizmaster is clearly master of the quiz, I assume that he already knows the answers to the questions he asks. So the answer to all the questions is.... "Whatever the Quizmaster says it is".
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Thai-braker:

Well this picture appears to show you brake the Thai by a well-applied finger up the nostril.
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
I'm sorry but Cusanus wins the tie-breaker. He has already confessed on the Oz thread that he has a penchant for natty dressing and probably owns more of the things than the rest of his Australian shipmates together.

Alternately, you could post extra points for the number (not quality) of witty asides Chorister and Jedijudy indulged in during the comp.

And I will dance as long as I can bring flags!
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Tiebreaker) Are you sure that you really want to break any ties? It's a long drop.....
 

---

Posted by icklejen (# 713) on :
 
Oh dear God, not penalties, I can't watch

(Where's the peeping out from behind your hands smilie?)
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
Cant we just give them a tie each?

I have an old school tie... Circa 1970, /Green with Yellow stripes... But perhaps a "Kipper" tie would be more acceptable even if it is a wet one.
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Here's an appropriate tie - it's a Monty Python Flying Circus tie. Very appropriate to be awarded as a prize on a circus thread. I think footdoc will like it especially.
 

---

Posted by Quizmaster (# 1435) on :
 
Marks for the Tie-Breaker - I have to make a decision but I am up to the challenge - somebody has to win and somebody has to lose. Here they are:-

-12 : Smudgie : I do know everything but I need you to tell me
2 : Chorister : Excellent twist, not sure about the finger
3 : Banner Lady : Cusanus obviously needs to break some ties
3 : Jedijudy : Managing to cross the uncrossable bridge
3 : Icklejen : Chorister and Jedijudy cannot take penalties
4 : Footdoc : Green and Yellow sounds absolutely divine
1 : Footdoc : Bonus point from Chorister


FINAL TABLE

77 Jedijudy
76 Chorister
73 Wet Kipper
71 Banner Lady
69 Cusanus
69 Doublethink
69 Icklejen
64 Footdoc
64 Sharkshooter
63 Davelarge


CONGRATULATIONS : JEDIJUDY

I have this hideous tie somewhere and if you P.M. me your address I will send it over as your prize.


P.S. I have been in quiet negotiation with Wet Kipper who has agreed to run another round of this competition. I will leave it up to him whether he continues in this thread or opens up a new one.
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Thank you Quizmaster! This was a lot of fun!

Kudos to my honorable fellow Quizzer and friend Chorister! You made this a really fun event!

To all the Quizzers...wasn't this a real hoot? Y'all are great!

jj fans herself... This has been quite the surprise today, I don't think I've ever had a first place before.

<---QM
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
I think what I shall do is leave this thread open for a wee while longer, to allow you all to congratulate the winner - and then I'll close it and start a new quiz-off in a new thread.
 

---

Posted by footdoc (# 4389) on :
 
OOOOOOHHH a close finish only 1 point in it..

Congratulations to JediJudy... and a blue peter badge for Chorister.... a worthy runner up.

Am quite overcome, I have never had a bonus point before. Thank you.

Great fun Quizzy.!

Looking forward to quiz off Mark 2.


 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Oooo a Blue Peter badge - What an honour! It sure beats a Crackerjack cabbage.

And what a fantastic game (thanks QM and fellow players. )

Well done to Jedijudy for pipping me to the post at the last round. It was a close-run thing but the snotty Thai pic. did for me in the end. Hope I didn't put you all off your curries.
 

---

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :
 
Okay, so I'll close this now, and start a new one.

Thread closed

Wet Kipper

Circus Host

[ 13. March 2008, 18:52: Message edited by: Wet Kipper ]
 

---

© Ship of Fools 2016


UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0