Ship of Fools: Heaven: What I want on my tombstone

Thread: Heaven: What I want on my tombstone Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by mjg (# 206) on :

I'm about convinced cremation makes the most sense but just for grits and shins: what do you want on your tombstone?

[ 30. October 2009, 09:37: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

I also prefer cremation, so I have not put too much thought into that one. I have thought that the last stanza of St. Patrick’s Breastplate would be a good one:

quote:

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
By Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

I think that sums it up quite nicely.

It would also be nice if it were here (the Silver Plume Cemetery just outside of Silver Plume, Colorado, which is a favorite spot of mine).

Posted by Wiff Waff (# 10424) on :

I rather like the old idea from the late and much lamented Spike Milligan:

quote:
I told you I was ill

Traditionally Quaker tombstones are simple affairs with just a name and dates - that is enough. However, if I was to be buried, which I'm not, or if my ashes were to be interred, which they won't be, I think I'd choose, were it up to me, which it won't be:

quote:
Continuing towards the Light

Actually

quote:
See you later

seems fairly appropriate, too.

[ 18. August 2009, 03:35: Message edited by: Wiff Waff ]

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wiff Waff:
I rather like the old idea from the late and much lamented Spike Milligan:

quote:
I told you I was ill

Wiffles, great minds think alike; that was the first thing that came into my head when I read the OP.

Posted by Kid Who Cracked (# 13963) on :

Nothing here there is to see
Move thyself along

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Middle son wants on his:

BRB.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Firenze

1950-2100

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :

We have just acquired the rights to hubby's great-grandfather's grave in Highgate Cemetery, where there is room for two more, so we will have a classy tombstone.

On my bit I want John 19.22: 'What I have written, I have written'. My final revenge on over-zealous editors.

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

From the Book of Sirach 38: 31, 34:

All these rely upon their hands, and each is skilful in his own work... they keep stable the fabric of the world, and their prayer is in the practice of their trade.

Posted by joris2 (# 11137) on :

"Well, now I know
but alas that's of no use to you"

"Seems I got there before the Rapture"
(this would really be to spite some people who, in the mid 70's, pestered me with their divinely inspired knowledge of the Rapture within at most ten years. They're still around, all of them, in all their loving obnoxiousness.)

"I would have loved to be an optimist
but I knew it wouldn't work"

Posted by Patrick the less saintly (# 14355) on :

What about John Gay's self-composed epitaph:

quote:
Life's a jest, and all things show it;
I thought so once and now I know it.

In all (perhaps undue) seriousness, I have always been impressed with the simplicity of Isaac Newton's tombstone: 'Hic depositum est quod mortale fuit Isaaci Newtoni' or 'here has been deposited that which was mortal of Issac Newton'. Of course, if somebody would take it upon themselves to erect next to this simple grave an enormous baroque memorial in polychromatic marble with an extremely laudatory verse in heroic couplets by one of the great poets of the English language, as they did for Newton, that would also be great.

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

For those of us lacking inspiration in that department, here's a few ideas. One or two might not be suitable for granny and the budgie, but I hope I'm OK posting a link to a Flickr group?

Personally I've always fancied the anti-Victorian "Not sleeping but dead", or perhaps "I'm not dead yet..."

AG

Posted by booktonmacarthur (# 14308) on :

"That's all folks" seems appropriate....

Rob.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

"My other tomb is a mausoleum."

"If you can read this you are standing on my grave."

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

A small brass plaque at the end of the pier, someplace at the seashore: Here lies Sir Kevin - he fell off his surfboard for the last time.

Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

A favourite of mine is "see, honey, I told you it was serious", but I want (but won't get - too bloody expensive [Roll Eyes]

)

quote:
let the dark come upon you, which shall be the darkness of god

Posted by Gort (# 6855) on :

Free At Last! Free At Last!
Thank God, Almighty -
I'm Free At Last!

[nods to MLK]

Posted by PrettyFly (# 13157) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
"My other tomb is a mausoleum."

"If you can read this you are standing on my grave."

I love both of these and am seriously considering using one. [Big Grin]

Posted by fletcher christian (# 13919) on :

Still no thinner

or

dead and loving it.

Actually I don't want a tombstone - i want a tree

Posted by Resurgam (# 14891) on :

These are great!

I love the classics, so will go with:

Remember friend, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be
Prepare for death and be with me.

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:

quote:
let the dark come upon you, which shall be the darkness of god

Where does that come from, or is it a Zappa original? It sounds semi-familiar.

Huia

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

"Now I know."

Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on :

I spent several summers visiting graveyards for fun, some years ago. I'm actually not too bothered about any messages for my tombstone, but I did like the assertion of a tombstone in a graveyard just outside Wrexham, North Wales:

"Prayer works! I know because I tried it!"

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Resurgam:

I love the classics, so will go with:

Remember friend, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be
Prepare for death and be with me.

There is the (alleged) husband and wife variant on that, where the husband's epitaph goes:

As I am now, so you must be.
Therefore prepare to follow me.

and the wife's -

To follow you I'm not content.
How do I know which way you went?

Posted by Resurgam (# 14891) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:
Originally posted by Resurgam:

I love the classics, so will go with:

Remember friend, as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be
Prepare for death and be with me.
There is the (alleged) husband and wife variant on that, where the husband's epitaph goes:

As I am now, so you must be.
Therefore prepare to follow me.

and the wife's -

To follow you I'm not content.
How do I know which way you went?

Posted by ErinBear (# 13173) on :

I was visiting an old cemetery and saw this tombstone from the 1800's - it had this delicate woman's hand with the index finger pointing sweetly upwards and the inscription

Gone Home

along with her name and the dates of her life.

In fact, I have a photo of it on my refrigerator...may sound strange but I find it a comfort. I'll take that, please.

Blessings,
ErinBear

Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Huia:

quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:

quote:
let the dark come upon you, which shall be the darkness of god

Where does that come from, or is it a Zappa original? It sounds semi-familiar.

Huia

Not original (nothing I say is!): TS Eliot.

Posted by Joan_of_Quark (# 9887) on :

I might not have thought of it if not for the shipmate with the same name, but I quite like the idea of "Resurgam." In my case it would be a rigor-mortised digit raised to Spineless the ex (name changed to protect the guilty), sub-text: "Dead or alive, I still have more Latin than you."

Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :

Say Tis Utterly Not True.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

This is not original, but I like

PARDON MY DUST

Moo

Posted by Gort (# 6855) on :

quote:
Originally posted by PrettyFly:

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
"My other tomb is a mausoleum."

"If you can read this you are standing on my grave."
I love both of these and am seriously considering using one.

Why not go with:

"Hey friend! Spare a moment to remove these weeds!"

Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :

You're standing on my foot

Posted by Alaric the Goth (# 511) on :

I want this from 'The Battle of Maldon' poem:

he wæs on Norþumbran hardes cynnæs

('He was of hard Northumbrian kin')

Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :

Paul Eddington, star of Yes Minister, once charmingly said he'd like the epitaph "He did very little harm", which I think is lovely, as long as you can claim it's true.

Alternatively, I'd go for the unoriginal but beautiful "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well". (Julian of Norwich).

Or, if the stonemason was up to it, what Alaric said. As I get older, I realise I'm more Northumbrian than English.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear
To dig the dust enclos-ed here.
Blest be he that spares these stones
And curst be he who moves these bones.

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :

W.C.Fields hated his home town of Philadelphia. At his request, his tombstone in California says.
"All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

Posted by Masha (# 10098) on :

There was an obituary in the Guardian today. In the first paragraph it said:

He gave much more than he took.

I thought that was a wonderful thing to be able to say about someone, perfect for a tombstone.

Posted by sgk (# 14135) on :

While waiting for a car repair yesterday, I walked through the old Irish cemetery in town. It contains the graves of most of the famine immigrants to this area, as well as their children and grandchildren.

The older stones were interesting. Instead of leading off with the name of the deceased, many read "Erected by Somebody O'Something in memory of her husband ...". Most also included their home parish and county in Ireland.

One stopped me in my tracks:

Of your mercy, pray for the soul of
Catherine Shea
who died ...

I'm not sure what good Episcopalian prayers do for a long dead Catholic, but I did it.

Posted by Moran (# 14195) on :

There are some good ones here! [Smile]

And I think "Next?" has an ambiguous flair.

Posted by daviddrinkell (# 8854) on :

I rather liked:

Here lie I, Martin Elginbrod,
Hae Maircy on my soule, Lorde Gode,
As I wad dae, were I Lorde Gode
And ye were Martin Elginbrod.

But then, he was a Calvinist and pretty sure he was OK.....

Posted by PhilA (# 8792) on :

I want, in really small letters you have to get really close to read:

Get off, you're standing on my bollocks.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

I'd probably get what I deserve: 'Always trying', although 'This is the end of the beginning' would be more suitably cryptic.

Posted by lapsed heathen (# 4403) on :

quote:
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Aways liked this lyric as an epitaph.

Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :

I'm not even sure yet whether I'd prefer to be buried or cremated, let alone what epitaph I'd like. But as a tangent, I do want God be in my heart and If you love me at the service. If it's possible, I'd prefer Psalm 130 to 23 as well. I've given firm instructions to both Madame and Dlet.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

"I'll be back"

Posted by joris2 (# 11137) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lapsed heathen:

quote:
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Aways liked this lyric as an epitaph.

It may be advisable to ask Leonard Cohen for his permission.

[ 24. August 2009, 16:12: Message edited by: joris2 ]

Posted by ebeth (# 4474) on :

quote:
Originally posted by sgk:
...The older stones were interesting...

One stopped me in my tracks:

Of your mercy, pray for the soul of
Catherine Shea
who died ...

I'm not sure what good Episcopalian prayers do for a long dead Catholic, but I did it.

I like that. Let me go on record to say put that on mine, except change the Catherine to ebeth or whatever they're calling me by then.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

I remember reading the poem Lucinda Matlock in a high school literature class, and have never forgotten it.

Write for me:

I had lived enough, that is all,
And passed to a sweet repose.

Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on :

"Mostly Harmless" would do it for me.

Posted by Gort (# 6855) on :

Curb That Dog!

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

A nice one set to music by Jonathan Battishill in the late 18th century:

Here on his back doth lay Sir Andrew Keeling;
And at his feet his mournful lady kneeling.
But when he was alive and had his feeling,
She laid upon her back and he was kneeling.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

They told me "today is the first day of the rest of your life." It wasn't.

Posted by Pooks (# 11425) on :

I am prideful to the end. This will do nicely for me:

She's not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

Posted by lapsed heathen (# 4403) on :

quote:
Originally posted by joris2:

quote:
Originally posted by lapsed heathen:

quote:
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Aways liked this lyric as an epitaph.
It may be advisable to ask Leonard Cohen for his permission.

I think it would count as fair use and not be subject to copyright, after all I'm not going to be reproducing copies of my headstone in miniature for sale as souvenirs. On the other hand it would offset the funeral costs.

Posted by Jigsaw (# 11433) on :

My brother is a stonemason and delighted to hear that people are planning such lengthy epitaphs. He asks that you all arrange to die in the Wolverhampton area, but he stops short of asking that you could do it within the next 20 years - i.e. the time he has left to work before hanging up his chisel.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

Personally, I'd like onions and sausage on my Tombstone.

Oh, not that kind of Tombstone?

Hm . . . something in Latin, making a nice allusions . . .
How about the last like of Question 90, Article 4 of the Prima Secundae?
"Et sic ex quatuor praedictis potest colligi definitio legis, quae nihil est aliud quam quaedam rationis ordinatio ad bonum commune, ab eo qui curam communitatis habet, promulgata."
Heck, I'll probably still be able to recite it even after it's carved on that chunk of rock above my head. Oh The Joy of being a grad student studying late medieval legal theory . . .

Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

*Ahem*: AristonAstuanax, could you translate? For it saith in the Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians that a toungue without translation is but a pissing in the breeze ... or summat lark thaht

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

Whoops.
Part of the reason I didn't translate is that it sounds a lot more like something to put on a tombstone in Latin than in English.
"Thus from the four preceding articles, the definition of law may be gathered; and it is nothing else than an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community, and promulgated."
Granted, that's not how I would render the above, but It's too early in the morning for Latin translation and what I've more-or-less memorized sometimes leaves out parts of the beginning.
I suppose one could make an argument that death is a universal law for all men, or some other mystical such-and-such like that, but really, I'd be putting this passage on my grave as a bit of a joke.

Posted by Aggie (# 4385) on :

Perhaps: Ding dong! The wicked witch is dead. [Big Grin]

I remember the story about the late comedian Bob Hope; that when he was on his death-bed, his family asked him where he wanted to be buried, and he quipped: "I don't know. Surprise me!"

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ErinBear:

In fact, I have a photo of it on my refrigerator...may sound strange but I find it a comfort. I'll take that, please.

Blessings,
ErinBear

I read this too fast and thought you had a photo of your refrigerator and found it comforting. I totally understood.

Posted by angelfish (# 8884) on :

I have for some time thought that "Thou art the journey and the journey's end" would be a nice epitaph.

Mind you, we may not get our wishes. Some cemetaries in the UK provide a list of acceptable and bland epitaphs, and no deviations or improvisations are permitted. Ditto tombstone design these days - they all have to be of uniform dimensions (makes it easier to stack them up at the side when the next lot of stiffs move in 60 years after your demise). My grandmother-in-law found this out when her husband died a few years ago. She was so disappointed, she decided not to have a headstone at all, and has planted a beautiful garden shrubbery over him instead.

Posted by §Andrew (# 9313) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
"If you can read this you are standing on my grave."

Absolutely brilliant!

quote:
Originally posted by daviddrinkell:
I rather liked:

Here lie I, Martin Elginbrod,
Hae Maircy on my soule, Lorde Gode,
As I wad dae, were I Lorde Gode
And ye were Martin Elginbrod.

Good one!

quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
W.C.Fields hated his home town of Philadelphia. At his request, his tombstone in California says.
"All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

Ha ha ha. Who wouldn't?

Posted by §Andrew (# 9313) on :

I love a saying by the ancient Ionian philosopher Heraclitus:

αἰὼν παῖς ἐστι παίζων, πεσσεύων· παιδὸς ἡ βασιληίη.

which can be translated as: Time is a child at play, moving pieces in a board game; the kingly power is a child's.

A child's kingdom... Not a bad understanding of the Universe...

Perhaps I'd change a bit the ancient text, but that's the gist of what I have in mind.

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