Ship of Fools: Circus: Coinage of the Realms of Glory

Thread: Circus: Coinage of the Realms of Glory Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

So that idiot Sarah Palin, who in her idiocy has figured out how to strike it rich, has been busy coining words. Her latest, refutiate, which is apparently a cross between repudiate and refute, has grabbed much attention lately.

But Mrs. Palin is (or appears to be) a religious woman, so surely she would approve of the game hereby proposed.

Coin a new word or phrase by twisting an established one. The new word or phrase must at least loosely be associated with something ecclesiastical.

Only one per post, please! And no double, triple, quadruple, etc. posting!

Examples:

Real Prescience -- Prior knowledge that bread, when baked, and wine, when fermented, are predestined for liturgical use.

Virginal Birth -- The art of making harpsichords out of old wooden mangers and swaddling cloths.

[ 11. December 2010, 11:46: Message edited by: Spike ]

Posted by Imaginary Friend (# 186) on :

Sermonifying: The art of turning conversation into preaching.

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Angrycanism
CofE discussion regarding female bishops.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Romophobia

Fear of the RCC

Posted by Zeke (# 3271) on :

Manglican

A bishop rather the worse for the Windsor Report.

Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on :

Napostolic Succession: The habit of Sunday afternoon siesta practiced by those members of the unbroken chain upon whom St. Peter has laid hands.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Hog Collar - as worn by a rotund priest

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Humidal Veil -- a vestment worn by a subdeacon to protect against excessive moisture in the air.

Posted by Nunzia (# 4766) on :

besmeech To beg and plead with God in a way that implies He's a stingy old fart.

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Anna-baptist

John the B.'s great-aunt.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Noviva - a clapped out car that runs on prayer

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Prolapsarian

Surgeon specialising in treatment of displaced internal organs.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Gospellation

The practice of naming babies after New Testament characters.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Evangelinism

The practice of traveling wide and far in search of a long-lost gospel to preach.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Tedium

A very long, very dull piece of church music.

[ 21. July 2010, 22:25: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Mary Mogadon

Sedative widely used by Catholics.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Pontius Prelate - senior clergyman with a speech impediment.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

sextism - a bias toward mid-day prayer

[ 22. July 2010, 06:00: Message edited by: churchgeek ]

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Latitudinarianism

Anti-Americanism by Canadians or Latin Americans.

Longitudinarianism

Anti-Americanism by anyone else.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Liturgicalvinist

one who can't stand real church music at any price

[Code tweak, iF]

[ 22. July 2010, 12:47: Message edited by: Imaginary Friend ]

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Daily Orifice

Good potty training.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Bennydiction - when the Pope has something to say

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Paracletus

Slack-jawed yokel person of the Trinity.

Epoofany

(Failed) attempt at celebration of diversity in church.

Loturgy

Over-long church service.

(I like this game.)

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Chas you bull - what you call Charles when he knocks over a display case in a china shop!

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

Sanctus belle
Clergywoman

Stations of the cross
British Rail

Rude screen
Channel 5

Monstery
Place where monsters live

Miserychord
Rubbish choir

Mannypull
A short skirt

(Do you think I've listened to too much I'm sorry, I haven't a clue?)

ETA: Sorry, that's more than "one per post", I'll try to be good in future.

[ 22. July 2010, 12:40: Message edited by: Chapelhead ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Requiembers

Violent disposal of the paschal fire.

[ 22. July 2010, 13:13: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Chapelhead, your words are excellent but please read my OP.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Vespas

You may ride your scooter in church after dinner.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Pentecoastal

Evangelistic fervor as practiced in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Seventh-Day Advertist

A denomination dedicated to erecting billboards on one day of each week.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Evangillogical

The practice of announcing that the people who disagree with you are doomed to hell.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Prime - choosing the steaks for an early morning feast.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Presbydairy - Milk by committee

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Compline - what people do if the evening liturgy goes on too long.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Liturges

irresistible impulses to dance, freak out or talk in tongues during a service.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

None - a nihilistic part of the Daily Office

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Dalmantics - The actions of vested clergy following their liturges

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Bibble

A divinely inspired protective cloth worn around the neck and over the chest.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Vestree - freestanding clothes rack for priestly garb

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Ordinaryrat

Where your average AC goes when he/she is leaving a sinking ship!

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

EvanGINicalism

The rare prospect for unity within the Anglican Communion.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Unitygritty- the sometimes minor issues which prevent agreement between denominations.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Filoquay - Wharf in Greece where they ship pastry dough.

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :

Commienation A curse on North Korea.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Homoouzos - Greek liquours for gays

[sp]

[ 23. July 2010, 22:17: Message edited by: mousethief ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Homoouzos - Greek liquours for gays

[sp]

What was the original word, Mousethief, and what did it mean? I'm not up with Orthodox terminology.

[ 24. July 2010, 06:14: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Tetragrammophone - Jehovah's hi-fi.

Answer to jacobsen: homoousios -- "the same essence" or "the same being". It shows up in the Creed in the phrase, "of one essence with the Father".

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Epilateclesis - Shaved in the Spirit

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Antideluvianism

The doctrine that the Great Flood never happened.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Apocryphallic - One of the four horsemen, or perhaps the horse.

Posted by Oferyas (# 14031) on :

Bananabus - Apostolic encouragement to have your 'five a day'?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Paracleats

Lug-soled shoes that engulf the feet of football or baseball players in tongues of flame.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Pontius Pilates - Trendy exercises for corrupt rulers

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Benedict! Us - key? Vain - it? - What do you mean, it's all our fault and it won't work anyway? what are you Pope for?

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Airianism - playing air guitar in the worship band

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Ecclesiolastics

One of those Books o'the Bobble you can never find.
or ~ Special liturgy for old folk who must wear medically-ordered tight stockings.

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

Sursum Chorda - this lot look hungover - let's lift the music up a key (or two).

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Theoddity - a weird or unusual doctrine or belief

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Reflectory - where monks get food for thought.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Cloysters - bivalves living in Christian community under a rule.

Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on :

Callice: thickened skin on the hands from too much altar serving.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Bethleham -- forbidden food vendor in a Jerusalem suburb

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Chrisum - Cattle baron John Chisum joins forces with Billy the Kid and Pat Garrett to anoint the sick.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Genureflect : to mull over how you're going to return to a standing position, without the aid of the ushers.

Posted by Onoma Demosia (# 15727) on :

Calvanist

Bill Watterson fan.

Posted by Bullfrog. (# 11014) on :

Nastics: Members of a religious sect who, in mockery of the Roman Catholic Church, meditate upon the cartoons of Thomas Nast as icons.

[ 27. July 2010, 21:31: Message edited by: Bullfrog. ]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pearl B4 Swine:
Genureflect : to mull over how you're going to return to a standing position, without the aid of the ushers.

Best in thread.

Posted by Bullfrog. (# 11014) on :

Pele-gians: Those who believe that salvation is a matter of mastering one's soccer game through the perfect imitation of Pele..

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Auguststainian - adherent to the belief that persons born in the 8th month bear a particular inherited moral guilt.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Cathedrill

A church where liturgy is carried out with absolute precision.

Posted by Onoma Demosia (# 15727) on :

Ewecharist

Celebration of the Lamb.

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :

Evandalism - Spray painting "Jesus saves" on a bridge abutment.

Posted by Onoma Demosia (# 15727) on :

Church service

Chalice, paten and ciborium.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Thoroughfer -- A superhighway allowing the incense bearer to get to church on time

Posted by Onoma Demosia (# 15727) on :

Doesn't that put the entire board in knid?

Oh, hang on, wrong discussion...

Cellarbrant

Keeper of the communion wine store.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Sacristee

Small pedestal-like device on which clergymen place their golf balls before hitting same.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Thurubble - whats left at the bottom, after burning too much incense

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Subdawkin -- an atheist minor clergyperson

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

albyoumen - vestments not to be worn by women

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Albumen - eggwhite and gold vestments worn at Eastertide

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Church War Den - place to meet, to discuss contra-denominational battle tactics!

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Complain : a bed-time prayer service, emphasizing the failures and disappointments of the day.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Gomorrhea

A sexually transmitted disease that turns sufferers into pillars of salt.

Posted by Bullfrog. (# 11014) on :

Ministeer: The one who drives the church bus.

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Jehoovah - the church vacuum cleaner

[ 29. July 2010, 23:02: Message edited by: East Price Road ]

Posted by Onoma Demosia (# 15727) on :

Ship of loofahs:

Website where people discuss spiritual cleanliness.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Mattings - rug-making during the sermon at Morning Prayer.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Blessed Verging - The saintliness of the church key holder.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Sexed: Pre-lunch coitus with prayer in certain religious communities.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Pennydiction : a very short blessing upon those who only put coins into the collection plate.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Hominy: the distribution of maize kernels instead of wafers.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Motette

Small ditch filled with water surrounding a church.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

sursplice -- the liturgical sewing of priestly vestments

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Benedicteen - a blessing upon adolescents

Posted by Jigsaw (# 11433) on :

Wee freeze

Peeing at the North Pole

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Brible - A book for keeping track of who the priests owes favours to.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

First, are you playing the same game we are, Jigsaw? I don't quite get it.

Prayer of Concentration : When the priest thinks really really intensely about bread and wine.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pearl B4 Swine:
First, are you playing the same game we are, Jigsaw? I don't quite get it.

"Wee frees" is slang for a brand of independent churches in I think Scotland.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Epiclaces - ruffly collars of mythological proportions

Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on :

Chasmatic: A worship style involving much emotion and movement, asin leaping over ranks of pews.

Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on :

Beretta: armed liturgical headgear

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Good Fryday

A day on which all food must be cooked in hot oil.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

prosassion - talking smack about the parade at the end of the service

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

I hope this won't be seen as breaking the "one per post" rule, but these two related words need to be defined together in order to fully appreciate the nuance in meaning:

ablations - forgetting it was your turn to bake the communion bread

oblutions - washing your hands of (i.e., quitting) the bread-bakers' guild

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

None Zero attendance at the last worship hour of the day.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Buffet ad orientem - a whispered message meaning "We'll meet you at the Chinese restaurant, right after Mass".

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Verses Populum

Hymns meant to be sung by the congregation rather than by a choir -- a controversial innovation of the Second Vatical Council.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Ex cathedra - broken down chairs consigned to the dump and replaced by the upholstered adjustable kind.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Ass-purges - moving the donkeys out of the crib scene.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Ecumedical Council - A 'death panel' that decides if a floundering parish should remain open.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

The First Weeding - early Spring maintenance of the churchyard.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Ember Daze

A state of catatonia induced by fasting.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Wit Sunday

The day on which the minister may tell jokes.

Posted by snowgoose (# 4394) on :

cardinal spin

The job of the public relations office of a Prince of the Church

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Lectionaries - playing the giddy goat during the lesson.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

gragitate - to finish your MDiv at a liberal Episcopal seminary.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Pontifigate - latest Papal scandal

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Pontifigate - latest Papal scandal

Humoral veil

Vestment worn by a preacher when including jokes in his sermon.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Cardinale - favourite beer of the Vatican

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Patented - hit over the head with part of the communion equipment.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Tractorians An evangelistic group that uses agricultural machinery.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Tractorians An evangelistic group that uses agricultural machinery.

Sowing the good seed?

Posted by Foaming Draught (# 9134) on :

Lootheranism

Reforming the church while sitting on the lavatory.

Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on :

Minnownite - fishers of small men

Posted by Deckhand (# 15545) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Foaming Draught:
Lootheranism: Reforming the church while sitting on the lavatory.

Loofaranism: reforming the church while sitting in the bath.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Ann Athema The first female Archbishop of Canterbury

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Aimish

A fundamentalist sect whose members hurl objects at the preacher to show disapproval of the sermon.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Trinnytarianism.

A denomination led by a bossy woman obsessed by what people wear.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Fundamentalist - One who witnesses through his posterior.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Magnifichat - dialogue-style rendering of the Canticle of Mary.

Nunc Dimwittis blessedly short and simple setting of the evening prayer 2nd canticle for those anxious to move on to cocktails and schmoozing.

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

Accurate

Painstakingly meticulous vicar

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

pantificate - To preach earnestly about underwear

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

pontif

Sceptical Pope

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Catheterdral -- The seat of a bishop with urinary problems

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Stoles - Liturgical clothing items nicked from a previous Parish

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Chancellar - One who holds the key to the communion wine store.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

pipe organic - all-natural music for the church

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

Ivangelical modern Russian Rite

Posted by Foaming Draught (# 9134) on :

diaperson - a tonal grouping of poo pipes

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Pastor Bedtime
Cleric with an interest in physical exploration

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Divine Orifice

A particularly outstanding . . . no, it's too naughty to define! [Devil]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Didache - used to hurt

("modern" and "Russian Rite" don't belong in the same sentence together! [Biased]

)

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Divine Orifice

A particularly outstanding . . . no, it's too naughty to define!

Oh, go on then - you know you want to! [Biased]

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Divine Orifice

A particularly outstanding . . . no, it's too naughty to define!
Oh, go on then - you know you want to!

c.f. Prolapsarian

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Surplice to Requirements Bespoke Clerical Outfitters.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Lacey Vestments - made especially for TV detective of the feminine persuasion.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Thurifher
A female swinger

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Very nice, Banner Lady! [Overused]

Schismphrenic - Person driven crazy by church splits

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Himnal song book for male choirs

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Organumb- Catatonia caused by the persistently loud playing of the organ.

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Flandishments Essential provision for all Church Social occasions.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

euchre wrist -- the priest's carpal tunnel injury (from playing cards too much) which prevents his serving the mass

[ 10. August 2010, 20:18: Message edited by: mousethief ]

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

anaflora

The exchanging of flowers between priest and people at the beginning of the Eucharistic prayer

Posted by cattyish (# 7829) on :

Presbyopterian
Denomination defined by far-sightedness related to increasing age.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

colonbarium - something anyone who's had intestinal x-rays can explain to you

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

excommuniKate

Southern Cone severing talks with TEC

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Wholly bibulous - my kind of fundamentalism.

[ 10. August 2010, 21:56: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

sellemn vows

Promising "till death do us part" and sounding like you actually mean it

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

Auntie Doran - that nice relative who gives you cookies.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Olde TestyMint - the bottle of Creme de Menthe the choir director hid in the music filing cabinet.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

New Testy Mentor - imported after the PCC were alerted to the existence of the Olde Testymint.

[ 11. August 2010, 07:08: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Haha ! But what's the PCC? Something like The Warship and Music Committee I suppose.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Standoff committee - how decisions are not made.

[ 11. August 2010, 16:20: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Franklinsense

Pithy axioms uttered by priests as they swing the thurible.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Elastianism where one declares that all are welcome at the communion table, then must stretch out the eucharistic elements to go round.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Cattychism - peppering your answers to the standard questions with comments about the Priest's hairdo and wardrobe.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

The National Inquisitor

A tabloid that publishes reports of ecclesiastical scandals, including details about the priest's hairdo and wardrobe.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

The Organ Console - A charitable group who send sympathy notes to organists who wish their organ was bigger.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Thirty two foot stop - the PCC putting down all their feet to prevent the Vicar from renting out the church as a rave venue.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Pisscina
The urinal in the vestry washroom.

Posted by Ann (# 94) on :

Ooffertoy - when the handle of the collection baggies catches you in the small ribs.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Christmas Tide, Easter Tide, Whitsun Tide - the washing of the altar linens in the Blessed Detergent prior to a major festival.

[ 13. August 2010, 02:46: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Now I thought they were the tides of the crystal river, by which we shall gather Or not, as the case may be.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Lam Ass Day - the day the choirboys all get beaten for bad behaviour.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Lame ass day - any day following that upon which an ass was ridden, e.g. a heavily pregnant Mary, or a well grown Jesus. Or an unobservant Balaam.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

The Religious Society of Fiends - even the Devil can quote the scriptures?

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Cardinall - Checking the ID of everyone entering the church.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
The Religious Society of Fiends - even the Devil can quote the scriptures?

I've heard it said that the Devil does his best work in churches [Devil]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Bishop Rick - a trendy young senior cleric.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Gospelting - Not content with bible bashing, they hurl it from a distance at the unsuspecting passer by.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

The Door Mission - the last task of the day, when Sister checks that all the convent doors are locked.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Jerry Mire - the mess and confusion Father Jeremy causes everywhere he goes.

Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on :

As unintentionally provided elsewhere...

psychophantic

Madly, maddeningly fawning. As experienced at an episcopal visitation near you.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

The Cope Cupboard

The place to look for senior clergy before a demanding service.

Posted by Foaming Draught (# 9134) on :

Predestination - Asymmetric orgasm

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

The cope chest - Where optimistic clergy store vestments for weddings.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Septua-git - an elderly man in the congregation who is a bit of a nuisance.

Posted by Foaming Draught (# 9134) on :

Neuteronomy - Instructions for feline birth control.

FD

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Levitaticus

That bit of the bible that really elevates your spirit....

[ 15. August 2010, 12:53: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Epistols

Straight-shooting from Saul of Tarsus.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

The Book of Roof

about building a spiritual house and being well covered by prayer...

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

mice hole, mice hole
there is a country far beyond the stairs

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Plenteous Grace with thee is found -caught in delictu with the lusciously endowed head chorister

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

The Book of Common Pear includes recipes, growing tips, helpful instructions on canning, etc.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Instinction - the innate ability to dip into the chalice correctly.

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Aposhstate Arriving at church wearing your Sunday Best.

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Benedictionary: (N)
A useful liturgical book containing the correct spelling of all blessings.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by MiceElf:
Aposhstate Arriving at church wearing your Sunday Best.

Very nice!

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by MiceElf:
Aposhstate Arriving at church wearing your Sunday Best.

And rather the worse for wear, I feel.

(or something like that)

[ 16. August 2010, 18:29: Message edited by: Chorister ]

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

The Book of Micar

particularly beloved by all rev-heads...

Posted by Nunzia (# 4766) on :

Ecodus

In which Moses leads the Children of Israel to the Greener, More Sustainable Land

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

thurifare - the path from vestry to altar, taking in the perimeters of the church, whilst burning incense.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Moaning Prayer - as in "why me, God?"

Posted by Foaming Draught (# 9134) on :

Evening Prayer - "Lord, let me get my own back. Amen."

FD

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Numb-ers

The book you refer to when life has left you completely shell-shocked...

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Vestpers - Prayer done in one's undershirt.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

And the Song for today: Can-ticle: My Fancy

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Vestpers - Prayer done in one's undershirt.

...and I always thought it was Vespas, [very necessary] prayers done on a motor scooter.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Vestpers - Prayer done in one's undershirt.
...and I always thought it was Vespas, [very necessary] prayers done on a motor scooter.

I'm not sure but that we haven't had that one already.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Wrector - priest who drives all the congregation away

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Testamoney As in "Look how much God loves me, he has blessed me with a zillion room house and private jet" etc.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Real Presents
Substantial gifts for the Vicar, such as a Basket of Cheer, a fully-paid week at the beach, or, of course, Cash.

Posted by Pooks (# 11425) on :

Evangelastic: referring to the art of creative (usually inflated) counting of the number of people attending and/or who were ‘saved’ following an evangelistic endeavour.

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

Evangeleak

Tendency of the newly converted to freely spread their enthusiasm and happiness about having found the Lord

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Pox Breed

A round golden plate to which a handle is attached, used for incubating contagious disease germs.

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

MissAll An annual event for those who forgot that the clocks went forward 1 hour.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Psalter - for when your food needs a little bit more seasoning...

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Hymnoddy - Dropping off to the sound of worship lullabies

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

[ASIDE] Remember, the OP calls for a coinage (e.g. Hymnoddy), not a new definition for a verbatim ecclesiastical term (e.g. Psalter). Even so, I can't resist the following: [/ASIDE]

Shine Jesus Shine

The official song of Bootblacks for Christ.

[ 20. August 2010, 01:23: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Theoidiocy - anything you disagree with which other Christians believe.

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

SuffraGran Elderly lady who insists on being handcuffed to the church railings.

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Sistershun - an opponent of female ordination

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

In the same vein von Trapp-ist - all the choir come from the same family, and the mother is insufferable!

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Quacker Worship The guy at the back of the worship group with a kazzoo.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Evanglists - preachers of the bible in acute circumstances, when the locals are rather obtuse, and always assume they are right, to which a reflex response is required.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Dixie Dominus - a popular exotic dancer in Baltimore, back in the 40s. Black leather hi-heel boots, and not much more.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Loveheart:
Evanglists - preachers of the bible in acute circumstances, when the locals are rather obtuse, and always assume they are right, to which a reflex response is required.

But are they welcoming of bisectuals?

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Tuba Miriam - large lady in the Brass Section of the church praise band.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by Loveheart:
Evanglists - preachers of the bible in acute circumstances, when the locals are rather obtuse, and always assume they are right, to which a reflex response is required.
But are they welcoming of bisectuals?

They're still exploring that angle [Razz]

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

The Triumph of the Floss - the nice white shiny teeth that the TV preachers have

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Loveheart:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by Loveheart:
Evanglists - preachers of the bible in acute circumstances, when the locals are rather obtuse, and always assume they are right, to which a reflex response is required.
But are they welcoming of bisectuals?
They're still exploring that angle

I bet they wind up doing a 180 on it.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Agnes Day - rather sheepish lady in the choir

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Taser Community - a stunningly effective monastic order.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Benedection A shipboard blessing.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Genuflexion - The Pilates group prays for True Knowledge.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

The conjugation - the married couples sitting in the pews.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Dies Erie - a day's watersports in North America

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Gorier in excelsis - Vampire heaven

[ 27. August 2010, 19:46: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Foaming Draught:
Lootheranism

Reforming the church while sitting on the lavatory.

[tangent]There is a rumor circulating that Luther wrote most of his sermons while sitting in the latrine. He was known to suffer from constipation.[/tangent]

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Plea destination - praying that the Sat Nav will take you the right way.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Sir Mon - Spouse of Lady Day

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

If jacobsen will forgive me this neatly leads us to:

The Sir Mon on the Mount - the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
[tangent]There is a rumor circulating that Luther wrote most of his sermons while sitting in the latrine. He was known to suffer from constipation.[/tangent]

So Luther really was full of sh--?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
[tangent]There is a rumor circulating that Luther wrote most of his sermons while sitting in the latrine. He was known to suffer from constipation.[/tangent]
So Luther really was full of sh--?

...you know who?

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Tantrum Ego - there is one in every congregation!

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

[Killing me]

Isn't there just!

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Jubi-latte - Milky coffee served after mass on special anniversaries.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

[tangent]WW, you're on fire at the moment! [Killing me]

[/tangent]

Leant - almost falling over in a bid to prepare for Easter

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Loveheart:
[tangent]WW, you're on fire at the moment! [/tangent]...

Thank you, ma'am.

Dayglo Grassy-Ass - bright green stains on a surplice after a chorister falls over in a meadow during a Rogationtide procession.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Gloria in excelling deo - at last she's found one that works.

deo as in deoderant

[ 31. August 2010, 06:47: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Comfit-Eeyore - Sweets for stuffed animals.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Palmer some day - the eternally hopeful golfer.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Lit Any? - Have you lighted the candles yet?

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

The E-Pistol Lesson : and you better pay strict attention, or you'll be sorry! Feel lucky today, punk, well, do ya?

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Sharing the peas - but only if the liturgical colour is green, and said peas are marrow and fat.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Passing the pees

Trying not to dash to the toilet before the end of the service.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Can-tatas - tinned potatoes for the Harvest Supper.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Cannun - To give a sister the pink slip.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

To rah or not to rah - should there be cheerleading as well as flag waving in the service?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Cannun - To give a sister the pink slip.

???

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Cannun - To give a sister the pink slip.
???

To Can someone is an across pond euphemism for sacking someone and a pink slip is the equivalent of a P45.

I think.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Rude Screen - what some of the older choirboys watch on their computers when they get home from choir practice.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Celibrant : a priest who doesn't get to see or touch anybody, except on Sunday mornings; that's why s/he's so excited !

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Bi-shop - Dating site run by an inclusive church

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Dixie Dominoes - a variant played only below the Mason-Dixon Line.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Queue-rate - The time it takes at a crowded service to get to the altar rail.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Sack re: Stan - Poor Stanley just isn't up to the job!

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

SacreStan - Holy, French-speaking former Soviet republic

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Income bent - plunders the Poor Box to feed his habit

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Bi-shop - Dating site run by an inclusive church

That role is almost as funny as being one of the po-lice.

cureit minister who takes Healing and Wholeness services.

[ 04. September 2010, 16:35: Message edited by: Chorister ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Sir Rennety - A knight indulging in junkets

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Acker-lite - some members of the Paramount Jazz Band are missing.

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :

Liturgistics All the practical tasks which have to be done before you can hold a service.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Lecher-nary - rota for the dirty old men in the choir to show whose turn it is to sit near the cute young mezzo who recently joined.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Samsonite - a devotee who goes round destroying temples. Or possibly, in the 21st C version, burnng the holy books of other religions.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Samsonite - a devotee who goes round destroying temples. Or possibly, in the 21st C version, burnng the holy books of other religions.

In luggage?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Luggage would have chewed their hands off.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

[Big Grin]

Discworld?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

The very one.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Pastorization

Turning up a church's heating system so high as to kill off all infectious congregants.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Congregantsies - Those who invariably take the opposite view.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Adventing - ranting about how soon Christmas stock is appearing in the shops

Posted by Barnabas Aus (# 15869) on :

Di-rector- the rector's wife

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Ant-them - sacred song sung by a set of black-cassocked singers. Mostly, in procession.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Cope-ability - the talent possessed by a few experienced priests to put on and take off their own vestments without assistance.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Kop-tic Christians - Liverpool FC fans when in church.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Fiends' Meeting House - where the PCC convenes.

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :

Fanabaptist - a congregant whose idea of church life is sitting on his/her fanny.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

[Overused]

Good one. Or fanning themselves with the service sheet!

Joan of Ark - She survived the flood and went on to be the great great (etc...) grandmother of a famous French saint.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Which makes me think of:

Ark-Angels - Noah's guardian angels, who saw that everyone survived.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Day Profundis - the day the tax bill arrives.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Demonination - A group of congregations of the possessed.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Regina Cheerleader - leads the procession on festal days.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Salivation Army

Sect founded by Russian monk Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, whose followers literally drool over the ringing of the sanctus bell during the eucharistic prayer.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Latrine Rite – A special service of thanksgiving for the new facilities in the church hall.

That wasn't my first definition, but I don't want to be sent to Hell while I am still an Apprentice!

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Ad Aurientem

A service for the hard of hearing.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Docents - Those who only ever put coins in collection boxes and offertory receptacles, as opposed to Notaries - who only ever give paper money.

[ 12. September 2010, 07:17: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Tress-passes - members of the altar party having a bad hair-day.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

Consegration - seperating convicted felons who miss letters when they try to spell in church.

Posted by morningstar (# 15860) on :

transublimation - elevating the host

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Papal bullshit - Think female priests, abuse scandals...

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Votive kindles - for those who like e-candles

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Pontifornicating - Do I really have to define it?

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

Porntificate

To preach against dirty movies and magazines.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

Pontificrate

The pope's packing materials.

Spontificate

Spur of the moment preaching.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Transpontificate The Papal message when he's on the move!

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Cannun - To give a sister the pink slip.
???
To Can someone is an across pond euphemism for sacking someone and a pink slip is the equivalent of a P45.

I think.

That is correct.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

The Conflagration of Saints - at an auto-da-fe?

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

Church Walnut - a hard nut to crack!

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Altarcations - facing east, or facing the people? Watch the fur fly as traditionalists and modernists have it out.

Posted by Loveheart (# 12249) on :

predelia - Before the altar bread got all tasty

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

The Constipated Host

No, really, please, you have the last one. I really couldn't eat another thing!

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Auto-clave - a rather sterile way of choosing a new pope by means of cardinals racing one another in motor cars - the winner gets to wear the white suit.

[ 16. September 2010, 01:52: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Panniers Angelicum - what angels carry their sandwiches in when they go for a cycle ride round Heaven.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Pontifichaos- What happens to traffic to accommodate the Popemobile.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

To Lucas Ante Terminal - throw Lucas off the bus at the last stop but one.

Posted by Deputy Verger (# 15876) on :

Prayer and medication - the hedging-one's-bets approach to healing.

Posted by East Price Road (# 13846) on :

Basil-liker - a Fawlty Towers fan.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Prêtre a manger* - Wee chocolate celebrant Christmas tree decorations, as found on Gadgets for God.

*My computer kept throwing me back to the thread when I tried to accent the 'A', so I gave up.

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