Ship of Fools: Circus: Cluedo spin-off children's party

Thread: Circus: Cluedo spin-off children's party Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Meanwhile, in the Kitchen, Mrs White and Miss Peach are discussing Portia's 8th birthday this weekend.......

Well, Miss Peach, I have to say I agree with you. Of course, it's a bit tricky with her father not even buried yet, but 'e wasn't much of a father to her and a birthday is a birthday. And you're right - her mother promised her a sleepover party ages ago – and she's been looking forward to it for weeks. I've arsked Gumble and 'e says the authorities 'ave not objection, so let's press ahead with it, shall we?

[ 17. July 2011, 03:41: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Ahem, Mrs.White, could I interrupt for just a minute? It appears Melchior and Portia have decided to have a duelling contest in the parlour with the brass fireirons. If Portia is to actually reach her 8th birthday, perhaps they should be diverted to a less harmful pastime?

It will probably spoil Mr.Drab's fun, of course, because he's in there taking bets. Melchior is at 6/2 right now, with the odds lengthening in his favour rapidly, and Burgundy and Mustard are cheering him on rather too much, I fear, for Portia's safety.

You do have a first aid kit in this house, I take it?

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

IF YOU TWO KIDS DON'T GET UP TO BED RIGHT NOW THERE WON'T BE NO SLEEPOVER PARTY ON SATTERDAY.

As for all you so-called grown-ups.... I'd like to say you should know better. But I'm afraid that ain't quite the way it is.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

It may be asked, though, how will proper discipline and bearing be by young Portia learned? Will she not by proper practice be educated? I did not, for the sake of amusement, her encourage, but rather for her benefit; the bottom of my cold, Teutonic heart it warmed, such vigor and enthusiasm to see.

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

AA, are you the butler or Yoda? [Big Grin]

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

The butler yodels? [Eek!]

[ 24. June 2011, 02:29: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

"Hello Mrs Black. You had remembered Portia's birthday hadn't you?

… [Roll Eyes]

I thought as much. Her present will be appearing on your account as "Barbie Wonderland"... You're welcome.

Now I am going to put the phone down and in twenty minutes you are going to call her to wish her a happy birthday. Frankly Mrs Black, I don't care how much long-distance phone calls cost. I'm not the one who decided to take off with an ice-cream van salesman. It's your daughter's birthday and she's going to be devastated if she doesn't hear from you. And we didn't have this conversation, did we?

...No, I can't talk any longer. The guests are arriving any minute now, and the nursery looks like a hurricane's passed through it."

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Peachy, are we going with Princesses and Pirates or Barbie and Ken, or wott? And wot about games? Shall we just ask people to come wiv suggestions? I'll do a pass the parcel (or two) and I think in a big rambling old house like this, Sardines should be fun. Hopefully it'll be a nice day and they can play outside most of the time.

I'll ask those holding potential murder weapons to hand 'em in to Gumble - he can lock them in the cupboard for the duration.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

Mrs. White, we would like to be reminding you that to require no weapons would piracy rule out. Therefore, I would be suggesting that any such requirement be dropped.

Oh good. My revolver, beloaded it is.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

<Mrs White gives the mysterious Colonel an old-fashioned look. Which army was he a colonel in? She wonders. The same one that contained Major Major? >

Murder weapons made out of plastic and cardboard are the only kind allowed at children's parties. This isn't America.

<sniffs and departs>

[ 24. June 2011, 20:53: Message edited by: QLib ]

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

"Well, I'm not sure, Colonel Mustard, that an abseiling kit is EXACTLY what every nine year old girl needs. But it is certainly a very generous thought. Perhaps you should check with Miss Peach, if you are intending to give the girl a birthday voucher for something?

Portia could certainly use some fencing lessons, but I think all the weaponry has been confiscated by Mumble, for the next little while. But if I had a brother like that, a few self defence lessons would certainly not go astray, don't you agree?"

[ 25. June 2011, 07:15: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Melchior, for the last time, I don't know when people will start arriving. The invitations went out a bit last minute. Some people won't even have opened their post yet.

Now, I've decided we're going to have a barbecue tomorrer - yes, I know that always makes it rain, but even so... nothing like a wet barbecue for encouraging people to leave... So, how'd you like to come along wiv me to the butchers to help me carry the meat, like a big bo0y? Well, I think... PUT THAT DOWN! - you'd better come along wiv me anyway so that Miss Peach can settle to gettin' your sister all dolled up.

She most certainly will NOT look like a.... what you said. Where did you learn language like that, anyway? Mr Eliab? I'll have a word wiv 'im later. Come on, hurry up - they close at 2.30 - if you're a good boy, we'll have a look in the penny sweet tray at Ellis's on our way 'ome.

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

Well, Portia wants princesses, but Melchior says he'll refuse to attend if he has to dress like a princess. So I think Pirates and Princesses it is.

If that fencing match continues, she's going to need an eye-patch anyway.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Has Colonel Mustard go himself arrested d'you think?

Melchior, go and help Higgs to tidy up the stable yard. Yes, I know you went to help earlier and he said not to bother, but tell him Mrs White says he still owes her for New Year.

Yes, I know you don't know what that means, but Higgs will. Run along.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Lady Lemon turned the circlet on her head so that the sulphur crested cockatoo feathers were at the back, then she went over to the fireplace in the lounge. Two stripes of soot on each cheek was sufficient to convince her ladyship she was the perfect image of a Red Indian Princess.

Whooping and hollering she ran out into the grounds of Shipton House to practice her rain dance.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Glad to see you're getting into the spirit of things, yer ladyship. The rest of them are down in the wild bit beyond the tennis courts. If they let off enough steam they might actually sleep for part of the sleepover.

Rain's holdin' off.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

Colonel Mustard returned from the village, arms full of various "medicinal supplies."

"Mrs. White—you had told me to beseparate the liquor from the teenagers, who were to Shiption House to come not? The vodka, rum, and cider, these I have returned with.

"Well, what would you do when an armed law officer approaches you while underage drinking? Stick around and be to a party invited? Of course they offtook! Of course their liquor I removed!

"Oh come now. You really think Dr. Silver is sober enough to notice? At least the plastic bottles won't break when Rev. Green intostumbles the bar and them overknocks.

"You're right, that is a point. A good glass Galliano bottle does make a better weapon, now that I think about it, than anything else, but a true gentleman of fortune can make do with anything near at hand. Which is reminding myself, I am needing to find a proper piratehat . . . surely there must something around here be . . ."

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Mrs White tiptoes around various sleeping bodies, retrieving a variety of bottles, which she takes to the kitchen. There she performs triage. Upon inspection of each label, she either tips the contents down the sink, or into various unlabelled brown, green and blue bottles intended for her own store; occasionally she puts an almost full bottle in a box by the Butler's Pantry for Gumble to collect later.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

AVAST YE!

Suddenly, the sleepover stopped being quite so sleepy. Nothing like a full-blown pirate attack to disrupt the Princess Queendom . . .

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Lady Lemon emerged from the wigwam she had made with extendable chimney brushes and curtains on the nursery landing. Various drunken louts were making a piratical foray up the stairs.

Gathering Portia and her friends around her, she picked up the teepee, and using it as a battering ram, they charged down the steps in full warcry, sweeping all before them as they went.

"Ai-yai-hai-o, Colonel Mustard! Surrender now, and admit your defeat! Otherwise the Red Cordial Tribe will sing Britney Spears at you for hours and make you watch re-runs of My Little Pony Adventures. Take that, you rotten rum-soaked rapscallions!"

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

"Drunken louts?" Drunken Louts? While there be some members of me scurvy crew who ca' hol' thar liquors, we be far more able to handle th' rum than ye seem t' be thinkin' we are! It be a good thing that the bonny lass Portia's cutlass lessons won't be startin' for another couple days, or we might be facin' a rough time of it, but tonight, th' Pirates o' Shipton Manor be victorious!

"YARRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

Not even a battering ram teepee could stop a pirate captain in full charge. Soon enough, Lady Lemon found her timbers shivered and buckles very much swashed—to say nothing of her jewels removed by a very dashing pirate captain. "Dashing," of course, being the operative word—trying to catch up with the Colonel as he charged up the stairs was no easy task.

Then again, escaping the tribe wasn't going to be a picnic either. The second floor balcony, overlooking the hall . . . well, a good pirate could time the jump just right, vault the balustrade, and grab hold of the chandelier, swinging to safety in a dramatic roll.

"Ye shan't be catching me this time, maties!"

Colonel Mustard took a flying leap into space, circlet in hand, making it just over the railing . . .

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Mrs White bends down to examine the prostrate form of Colonel Mustard
'ell live, I daresay, more's the pity.
<shakes him>
Colonel? Colonel! Oberst!
<he stirs and groans>
Ah good, you're awake. The doctor will be 'ere to ave a look at you in a minute. A pretty mess you've made 'ere. Good job the chandelier wasn't actually glass. Repairing the ceiling is going to be expensive, though.

Cheer up, Colonel, even if we have to run you to Casualty in Borchester, you should be back in time for the barbecue.

Melchior, leave the Colonel alone stop swatting him with that... no, it's not an MRI scanner - because I know, that's all. Yes, you can be pirate chief again now and, you know what? there's Cap'n Kidd's treasure hidden in the woods - take the whole troop and see if you can find it.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Lady Lemon retrieved her circlet of citrines and diamonds from the floor. One of the feathers was broken, but apart from that, the family heirloom was in tact. Unlike Colonel Mustard who was looking somewhat the worse for wear.

Lady Lemon hoiked up her beaded dress sat down cross-legged alongside him to wait for the ambos. "There, there, Colonel. I'm sure they won't be long. And one of the little princesses has left you this to cuddle."

She tucked a large sticky Shrek under his arm, and patted him comfortingly.

Posted by dj_ordinaire (# 4643) on :

*belching loudly... and lordly*

Am I meant to be here or not?

If anyone has a milk pudding to hand, I'd be glad to hare of it, incidentally...

Lord B.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

"Milk pudding? Do I know what that is? Should I want some? Will it make it stop hurting?

I think I may be slightly broken. Why does one ankle look larger than the other? Is that real? Is that just my eyes . . . um . . . not working? Should I try to walk it off?"

Happily for the Colonel, this bit of internal dialogue was less internal than he realized; Lady Lemon had no trouble keeping him off his feet and hurting something else.

"Why is there a hole up there? Did something break?"

Lady Lemon sincerely hoped Mustard's short-term memory returned sooner rather than later.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Mr Gumble,

I've had to use the spare freezer in the Old Dairy to store the uneaten barbecue food, so that's why the power cable's running across the yard.

They can have the left over cake for elevenses - and there's cold chicken and potato salad for lunch. I've left a milk jelly for his lordship in the fridge. I may not be back in time for dinner. Let them eat takeaway.

Mrs White.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

"He's not himself," said Lady Lemon to Dr. Silver. " He's not even transposing all his grammar. I suspect there might be some injury to the brain because he's sounding distinctly NORMAL.

But I do think rum, milk pudding and rare barbecue meat might be working against any sort of immediate recovery. What do you suggest would help?"

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

Glad you're feeling better, Colonel.

Oh don't worry too much about the expense. I'm sure Mrs. Black won't mind. [Snigger]

Not looking forward to getting all this mess cleared up. Maybe Mrs. Black would also be, ahem, willing for me to call in a contract cleaner...

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