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Posted by Tubbs (# 440) on :
 
Got a problem, need a listening ear and some advice. Please use this thread to gain the benefit of Marvin the Martian's unique brand of Hellish wisdom and honesty.

Tubbs

[ 24. January 2012, 18:22: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
 
Posted by itokro (# 16135) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I've tried to fight the way I am, but I just can't hide it any longer - I like fluffy bunnies. How can I cure this terrible affliction?

Yours,

itokro
 
Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

May Shipmates don't seem to realise it's all about me. What can I do?

With many thanks,

Yorick.
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by itokro:
Dear Marvin,

I've tried to fight the way I am, but I just can't hide it any longer - I like fluffy bunnies. How can I cure this terrible affliction?

Yours,

itokro

Dear itokokokro,

There shouldn't be anything to worry about - I like fluffy bunnies as well. I find they go down beautifully when cooked rare with a few seasonal vegetables and a good merlot. Your impression that liking them is an "affliction" is most likely down to a bad chef.

Yours gastronomically,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
Dear Marvin,

May Shipmates don't seem to realise it's all about me. What can I do?

With many thanks,

Yorick.

Dear Yorkinky,

I think you'll find it's really all about me.

Yours in truth,

Marvin
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Dear Marvin,
I appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur, even though I know in my heart of hearts that I am really merely a humble circus host. What shall I do?
Yours pontifically,
Chorister (that's Her Holiness to you)
 
Posted by JFH (# 14794) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I find myself gruesomely insulted by the insinuations of a terribly lame thread started recently in All Saints, presumably due to a new host's arrival. Essentially it's just another thread in the line of "Today I Consign To Hell..." or "I Don't Intend On Tolerating..."
My question is, I'm afraid this host might be a rather sensitive person deep inside and that I might hurt his feelings if I express this. I know he has a rather harsh shell, but I fear it's just a shell, covering nothing but a most fragile and tender, and somewhat naïve heart. What should I do? How can I turn this poor fellow the other cheek in a way that he'll still understand that this is beneath his level? How can I make him feel how much I do care for him and how much I've realized he needs care and comfort, not blame and blasphemy? How can I reach through to him?

Many thanks and lots of love,

// Sleepless in Sweden
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Dear Marvin,
I appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur, even though I know in my heart of hearts that I am really merely a humble circus host. What shall I do?
Yours pontifically,
Chorister (that's Her Holiness to you)

Dear Chorizoer

I'm encouraged that you recognise these delusions for what they are. That's the first step to being cured, after all! You really must keep reminding yourself that circus hosts aren't big, or clever, or in any way important. You're the last-but-one rung of the importance ladder (just ahead of all those pathetic losers who aren't even hosts at all)!

I hope you can come to terms with the reality that this superiority complex is only in your head. If you can't then the only way to get rid of it is to amputate. I'll keep the scythe handy just in case.

Yours in true superiority,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by JFH:
Dear Marvin,

I find myself gruesomely insulted by the insinuations of a terribly lame thread started recently in All Saints, presumably due to a new host's arrival. Essentially it's just another thread in the line of "Today I Consign To Hell..." or "I Don't Intend On Tolerating..."
My question is, I'm afraid this host might be a rather sensitive person deep inside and that I might hurt his feelings if I express this. I know he has a rather harsh shell, but I fear it's just a shell, covering nothing but a most fragile and tender, and somewhat naïve heart. What should I do? How can I turn this poor fellow the other cheek in a way that he'll still understand that this is beneath his level? How can I make him feel how much I do care for him and how much I've realized he needs care and comfort, not blame and blasphemy? How can I reach through to him?

Many thanks and lots of love,

// Sleepless in Sweden

Dear Sheepless,

I know what you're talking about, really I do. And honestly, I used to feel the same way. But believe me, once you get to know Wodders you'll find that his rather harsh shell, far from concealing a most fragile, tender and somewhat naïve heart, conceals no more than a bitter and twisted mockery of the human soul.

He's almost as fabulously far gone as a Hellhost.

Your best bet is to stop trying to care. Harden your heart. Remove all sympathy and positive emotion from your being. Then, eventually, you too can become worthy of inclusion in the ranks of Hellions.

Yours infernally,

Marvin
 
Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I'm a fat, lazy slob who needs some encouragement to lose weight. You're a skinny bloke, could you help?

Dorito Dolly

[ 09. May 2011, 13:38: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
 
Posted by Jenny Ann (# 3131) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

Imagine my surprise and dismay upon discovering that I am not part of the In Crowd.

How can I it clearer to TPTB how amazing I am, and therefore gain access?

Yours,

Insecure in Manchester
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
Dear Marvin,

I'm a fat, lazy slob who needs some encouragement to lose weight. You're a skinny bloke, could you help?

Dorito Dolly

Dear Blobby,

The problem here is simple: you're so fat you have mass whether the higgs boson exists or not, and you're so lazy you get taken over by continental drift.

You want a tip on how to lose weight? PUT DOWN THE FORK.

Yours slimmingly,

Marvin

[ 09. May 2011, 13:39: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jenny Ann:
Dear Marvin,

Imagine my surprise and dismay upon discovering that I am not part of the In Crowd.

How can I it clearer to TPTB how amazing I am, and therefore gain access?

Yours,

Insecure in Manchester

Dear Insecure in Some Northern Dive or Other,

Being part of the In Crowd is all about attitude and belief - specifically having the same attitude and beliefs as the other In Crowders.

It's something you've either got or you haven't. And babe, you have not. Learn to live with it is my best advice.

Yours excludingly,

Marvin
 
Posted by lily pad (# 11456) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I have taken the day off work and yet my mind keeps thinking of all the things I have to do. I find myself day dreaming and planning what I will do when I am back at work tomorrow.

Please, can you wave a magic wand and help me get a life?

With thanks,

Lily Pad
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lily pad:
Dear Marvin,

I have taken the day off work and yet my mind keeps thinking of all the things I have to do. I find myself day dreaming and planning what I will do when I am back at work tomorrow.

Please, can you wave a magic wand and help me get a life?

With thanks,

Lily Pad

Dear Launch Pad,

That's just sad. Really, really sad.

The first thing you need to do is clear your mind of all thought. Do this by focusing on the below dot for one hour*:

code:
                                       

.


Once your mind is completely clear, phone up a good friend to come over and bitch-slap some sense into you. Thinking about work on a holiday, indeed. Honestly [Roll Eyes] .

Yours disgustedly,

Marvin

 

*= or until your eyes start bleeding, whichever happens first.
 
Posted by Ferijen (# 4719) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I can't help but look at the respone to H&A day and think 'its not like the old days'. I remember the first H&A day like it was just yesterday. Then there was a proper In Crowd, not like today's young pretenders.

Can you recommend a remedy or am I going to die from the nostalgia of the violins inside my head?

Ferijen
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

We once had hoards of fuckwits and loonies on the boards who would spout all sorts of nonsense about CO2 spontaneously seperating out of air and other equally silly notions. I would sit and patiently explain the truth to them, not so that they would learn (some hope) but so that others would see my intellectual superiority and be amazed.

But, we banned so many of them that I now find that the only people I can discuss things with are intelligent and thoughtful individuals who carefully assess the evidence and with wit and clarity demonstrate the flaws in the arguments presented by others. I find that I'm now unable to so clearly demonstrate my obvious superiority.

Just what am I to do?
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ferijen:
Dear Marvin,

I can't help but look at the respone to H&A day and think 'its not like the old days'. I remember the first H&A day like it was just yesterday. Then there was a proper In Crowd, not like today's young pretenders.

Can you recommend a remedy or am I going to die from the nostalgia of the violins inside my head?

Ferijen

Dear Ferrisjen,

The good old days just aren't what they were, are they? Kids today don't know they're even logged on, that's their problem. They're all too lazy and creatively bankrupt to have a good time like we did in the old days.

But the solution is obvious. Stop expecting the kids to do it all, and start some fun stuff going yourself. What's the matter, too lazy or creatively bankrupt to do it? Pah.

Yours nostalgically,

Marvin
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I've been trying to use the high-falutin' language used in Hell. Look..."**** ". But, it just doesn't seem to have the same effect coming from my keyboard. What is the problem? Is this a hopeless situation?
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Dear Marvin,

We once had hoards of fuckwits and loonies on the boards who would spout all sorts of nonsense about CO2 spontaneously seperating out of air and other equally silly notions. I would sit and patiently explain the truth to them, not so that they would learn (some hope) but so that others would see my intellectual superiority and be amazed.

But, we banned so many of them that I now find that the only people I can discuss things with are intelligent and thoughtful individuals who carefully assess the evidence and with wit and clarity demonstrate the flaws in the arguments presented by others. I find that I'm now unable to so clearly demonstrate my obvious superiority.

Just what am I to do?

Dear Alien Cressage,

Well, you're in a dilly of a pickle there, aren't you? You've banned and banned and banned until only the smart ones are left, and now you're having to have smart discussions with people who are more your equal.

While that really is your own damn fault, there are solutions. One is to reinstate the fuckwits and loonies, with all the attendant headaches. The other is to continue to ban and ban and ban until you, I and Wodders are the only ones left - Wodders so that you'll have someone to run intellectual rings round, and me so you'll have someone to whom you can demonstrate your superiority [Smile] .

Yours slightly-less-smartly,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Dear Marvin,

I've been trying to use the high-falutin' language used in Hell. Look..."**** ". But, it just doesn't seem to have the same effect coming from my keyboard. What is the problem? Is this a hopeless situation?

Dear sithsuzy,

The problem is that you're constrained by the narrow-minded dogmatic view of the Heavenly. A true Host must take a... wider view. Become one with the Hellish Side, and you will find the powers you seek. May the Fucks be with you.

Yours pretty geekily,

Marvin
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Dear Marvin

When the little lad next door saw whatever mindless Star Wars episode it was and Jabba the Hutt appeared he thought it was me.

What punishment would it be appropriate to mete to the little swine, he is three years old so big enough for a thrashing.

yours engrossingly,

WW
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Dear Marvin

When the little lad next door saw whatever mindless Star Wars episode it was and Jabba the Hutt appeared he thought it was me.

What punishment would it be appropriate to mete to the little swine, he is three years old so big enough for a thrashing.

yours engrossingly,

WW

Dear Jabba,

Feed the little sod to the Rancor.

Yours appetisingly,

Marvin
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Dear Marvin,

We once had hoards of fuckwits and loonies . . .

You used to store them somewhere? Looks like they still leak out from time to time.
 
Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I once had delusions of grandeur, but couldn't handle the pressure. You seem to be quite deluded, any tips?

Flausa the Fairly Fabulous

[ 09. May 2011, 21:22: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
 
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Dear Marvin,

We once had hoards of fuckwits and loonies . . .

You used to store them somewhere? Looks like they still leak out from time to time.
Or perhaps Alan used to host and admin whole boards full of fuckwits and loonies...

[ 09. May 2011, 18:38: Message edited by: Gwai ]
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Dear Marvin,
I believed that, after the fine example of problem page agony uncles set by Rev Gerald and Uncle Sine, you wouldn't be up to it and this thread would be really lame. But I realise now that I was wrong. How will you ever forgive me.
Yours cynically but repentantly,
Chorister
 
Posted by Ags (# 204) on :
 
Dear Marvin

I was browsing the gallery and found this pic of Wodders

I am now madly in love, but unfortunately I am a girl.

Can you help?

Yours (with palpitations)

Ags [Axe murder]
 
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Dear Marvin,
When I try to misbehave it never works. I fear that there might be a heavenly hand looking after me just a tad too well. What should I do?
BL (too good to be bad)
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
Dear Marvin,

I once had delusions of grandeur, but couldn't handle the pressure. You seem to be quite deluded, any tips?

Flausa the Fairly Fabulous

Dear Flawowser,

It may seem like delusion to the deluded, but I can assure you that my grandeur is quite genuine.

You seem to have come to terms with your delusion. Good for you.

Yours patronisingly,

Marvin

[ 09. May 2011, 21:23: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Dear Marvin,
I believed that, after the fine example of problem page agony uncles set by Rev Gerald and Uncle Sine, you wouldn't be up to it and this thread would be really lame. But I realise now that I was wrong. How will you ever forgive me.
Yours cynically but repentantly,
Chorister

Dear Sorblister,

Yes, Gerald and Sine were talented exponents of this genre, but you are quite right to recognise my inherent superiority.

As for your lack of faith, well I'm sure I can find it in my heart to forgive. Maybe. You know where to send the whisky.

Yours indulgently,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ags:
Dear Marvin

I was browsing the gallery and found this pic of Wodders

I am now madly in love, but unfortunately I am a girl.

Can you help?

Yours (with palpitations)

Ags [Axe murder]

Dear Aaaaaghs,

Well, it's a slightly trickier operation than the other way round but if you can find a suitable organ donor I'm sure something can be arranged.

Yours medically,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
Dear Marvin,
When I try to misbehave it never works. I fear that there might be a heavenly hand looking after me just a tad too well. What should I do?
BL (too good to be bad)

Dear Banana Laddie,

Heavenly hand my ass. Are you quite sure you really want to be bad, because I think you're subconsciously sabotaging your own attempts at evil.

Which means you're just one more fluffy bunny. Fortunately I know just what to do - get together a carving knife, some seasonal veg and a nice merlot and pop round to my place. We'll have a "rare" old time, after which I promise you'll never have a worry again.

Yours 'taste'fully,

Marvin
 
Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :
 
Dear Marvin,
I'm actually enjoying this whole "Minor God of Chaos" thing that comes along with being a temporary Circushost. In **** , I'm almost sad that it might have to come to an end.
Please Marvin. How do I keep my newfound power from going to my head? I . . . I like Doing Stuff too much!
—Blooddrunk
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Heavenly hand my ass.

Watch what you ask for.
 
Posted by itokro (# 16135) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

It is past midnight and I have early lectures tomorrow morning, yet here I am, perusing the Ship. Every time I consider leaving to get some sleep, I spot yet more amusing products of Hosts & Admins day and am compelled to read further. Is it possible to remain a Shipmate without failing my degree?

Yours addictedly,

itokro
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
Dearest itty-bitty teeny-tiny student:

Since Marvin is doubtless asleep in the arms of Lethe (I think that's his Wife) I will take it upon myself to answer in loco Hostis, as it were.

You really expected to join the ship and study for a degree?

Delusions set in early, don't they?

Yours faithfully,
The Real Hellhost
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
The real hell host wouldn't sign his missives the real hell host becos his missives would carry the gravitas of the real hell host in every real hell hosty word. So, I might just point out that I haven't signed this pearl the real hell host and let you commoners draw your own conclusion.

And Pete, [Razz]
 
Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:
Dear Marvin,
I'm actually enjoying this whole "Minor God of Chaos" thing that comes along with being a temporary Circushost. In **** , I'm almost sad that it might have to come to an end.
Please Marvin. How do I keep my newfound power from going to my head? I . . . I like Doing Stuff too much!
—Blooddrunk

dear Blooddrunk: at first it's so GRAND, isn't it? and you (and I) are getting all the good bits as temp H&A Day hosts. But when it's a daily grind of following shitloads of youtube links and reading dumbass screeds by people enamored by their own (false) belief in their brilliance, as well as fixing code because some people are too stupid to fart without assistance...

***breathe in, breath out...***

anyway.

count your lucky stars. temp hosting is sexy. regular hosting is hard work, and the pay sucks.

(she says while missing being part of the elite....*sigh*)

sincerely,
cometrocious, Retired Hellhost
Still all the bark, no more of the bite.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Still all the bark, no more of the bite.

Oh good, so the Prilosec is working? [Big Grin] [Biased]
 
Posted by Alfred E. Neuman (# 6855) on :
 
No, she's lost her dentures.
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
Nah, we had her spayed.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Nah, we had her spayed.

Well I think she's a diamond.
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
...But when it's a daily grind of following shitloads of youtube links and reading dumbass screeds by people enamored by their own (false) belief in their brilliance, as well as fixing code because some people are too stupid to fart without assistance...

Preach it, sister!
 
Posted by Padre Joshua (# 13100) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Dear Marvin,

We once had hoards of fuckwits and loonies . . .

You used to store them somewhere? Looks like they still leak out from time to time.
Rotflshmsfoaidmt!
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Nah, we had her spayed.

Well I think she's a diamond.
Yeah, well we did that at the same time [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:
Dear Marvin,
I'm actually enjoying this whole "Minor God of Chaos" thing that comes along with being a temporary Circushost. In **** , I'm almost sad that it might have to come to an end.
Please Marvin. How do I keep my newfound power from going to my head? I . . . I like Doing Stuff too much!
—Blooddrunk

Dear BloodyDrunk,

Good. Good. Feel the chaos flowing through you. You only have a limited time, so take it for all it's worth. The Circus Hosts can always put things right again afterwards...

Yours chaotically,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by itokro:
Dear Marvin,

It is past midnight and I have early lectures tomorrow morning, yet here I am, perusing the Ship. Every time I consider leaving to get some sleep, I spot yet more amusing products of Hosts & Admins day and am compelled to read further. Is it possible to remain a Shipmate without failing my degree?

Yours addictedly,

itokro

Dear itokokotheclownokro,

You poor sad fool. Pete was right - there is no hope. You are now one of us. Sleep is irrelevant. Resistance is futile.

Yours somnambulantly,

Marvin
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Since Marvin is doubtless asleep in the arms of Lethe (I think that's his Wife) I will take it upon myself to answer in loco Hostis, as it were.

Dear Peat,

While we all know that your dearest wish is to be just like me in every way, I'm afraid it's just not to be. I'm not a naturally gregarious Host at the best of times, let alone when I'm having to read all these damned support threads every day. Go and get your own band of concerned supplicants - these ones are MINE [Devil]

Yours territorially,

Marvin
 
Posted by chukovsky (# 116) on :
 
Dear Marvin

I have lots of work to do but find myself drawn irresistably to the Ship and other sundry websites of the genre I believe is known as "social networking".

How can I prevent myself from being distracted?
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Dear Marvin

I have lots of work to do but find myself drawn irresistably to the Ship and other sundry websites of the genre I believe is known as "social networking".

How can I prevent myself from being distracted?

Dear chuckoffski,

Are you a sockpuppet of itokakekikokukro? you certainly have a very similar problem. Suspiciously similar, even. Remain exactly where you are while I check your IPs. Check complete. Do not concern yourself. No agents will visit. Honest. The sound of rotors overhead is nothing to be alarmed about.

Yours ominously,

Marvin
 
Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :
 
Dear Marvin
I am a church minister but I know one day they will rumble me and I will find myself having to work for a living.

Could you suggest another career for a power-mad, control-freak, who only works on a Sunday?

Anselmina (the Barely-Reverend) (Take that whatever way you want....)
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Dear Marvin
I am a church minister but I know one day they will rumble me and I will find myself having to work for a living.

Could you suggest another career for a power-mad, control-freak, who only works on a Sunday?

Anselmina (the Barely-Reverend) (Take that whatever way you want....)

Dear Ansermenow,

You seem ideally suited for a job as stadium manager for an American Football team.

Yours lackadaisically,

Marvin
 
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I want to get release my inner hellion, but it seems to have gone missing. What do I do?

Yours worriedly,

[ 10. May 2011, 13:34: Message edited by: kingsfold ]
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
Dear Marvin,

I want to get release my inner hellion, but it seems to have gone missing. What do I do?

Yours worriedly,

Dear kongsfled,

Yes, this is a common ailment in those who see their need to become more Hellish than they already are. Fear not! You may yet avoid the "seasonal veg and nice merlot" ending normally reserved for those who fail.

The first thing to realise is this: if your "inner Hellion" has gone missing, then it does not need to be released! Quite the opposite, you must track it down and recapture it! I recommend the Central Line at about 5:15pm on a Wednesday as a good place to start looking, followed by the middle lane of the M25 near Heathrow.

If you can get through both of those without reacquiring your Hellish tempers, then try going to Runcorn. It's frigging horrible, is Runcorn. Ain't nobody gets out of there still being all sunshine and lollipops. It's the sort of place that would make St Francis kick the dog.

Yours educationally,

Marvin
 
Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :
 
Dear Marvin,

I was recently told that I was not quite as unpleasant as Zombie Hitler. This was obviously hurtful in the extreme since my quest for perfection requires me to be at least as, if not more, unpleasant than that. Is there some way I can achieve this state of unpleasantness without a megalomaniacal quest for world domination and the involvement of voodoo priests?

Moderately unpleasantly yours,
BessHiggs
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by BessHiggs:
Dear Marvin,

I was recently told that I was not quite as unpleasant as Zombie Hitler. This was obviously hurtful in the extreme since my quest for perfection requires me to be at least as, if not more, unpleasant than that. Is there some way I can achieve this state of unpleasantness without a megalomaniacal quest for world domination and the involvement of voodoo priests?

Moderately unpleasantly yours,
BessHiggs

Dear BossHogg,

There are some who are just so perfectly evil that no-one can ever improve on them. Zombie Hitler is one such legend. You're obviously not going to be anywhere near as unpleasant, especially if you don't want to go for the megalomaniacal quest for world domination, voodoo priests or no.

My advice would be to accept your station in life and focus on small, localised unpleasantness. You'll soon be less popular in your (erstwhile) friend's mind than any undead dictator you'd care to name [Smile] .

Yours locally,

Marvin
 
Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
Dear Marvin:

Did you know people expect you to pay for stuff like telephone and internet and electricity? even groceries and car repairs! Not only that, you have to keep paying over and over. what the hell's with that?

stingily,
comet
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Dear Marvin:

Did you know people expect you to pay for stuff like telephone and internet and electricity? even groceries and car repairs! Not only that, you have to keep paying over and over. what the hell's with that?

stingily,
comet

Dear Currys,

Yeah, you've got to pay for stuff. People don't work for free, you know. Pay your way or get off the planet!

Yours capitalistically,

Marvin
 
Posted by LRP (# 5013) on :
 
Really had a good giggle with all these problem's and reply's.

Well done Marvin.
 


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