Thread: Heaven: Tripping up in tongues Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
It must happen to us all at one time or another. Confusing two similar words or expressions, and ending up embarassed with egg on our faces.

Whilst living in Germany I had an operation on my nose for a deviated septum, the area concerned being my Nasescheidewand. Telling a German friend about it I referred to my Scheidewand, which actually means vagina. Rather too much information, (and inaccurate!) for the friend concerned.

I recently received a letter from a potential overseas singing student who informed me that "all the chorister have a lot of bondage with the choir master!" I'll probably not be pointing out the error of that one as she's only 14....

Have other shipmates any experience of linguistic bloopers?

[ 07. October 2012, 00:44: Message edited by: jedijudy ]
 
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 
quote:
jacobsen: Have other shipmates any experience of linguistic bloopers?
I probably make plenty of them on the Ship, but for now I'd like to share this one.

When I was in Brazil for the first time and still learning Portuguese, I often relied on French to fill in when I didn't know a Portuguese word. I lived with a family in inland Brazil for a while, and on one morning I wanted to say to the mother: "I'm going to climb up the hill."

The correct form for this would be Vou subir no morro, but at the time I didn't know that the Portuguese word for 'hill' is morro. So, trying to make some adaption of the French word for 'hill' (colline), I said in all innocence: Vou subir no colo. This actually means "I'm going to climb on your lap."

She stared at me quite bewilderedly!
 
Posted by Haydee (# 14734) on :
 
I have a tendancy to have a 'default foreign language' that comes out when I am trying to speak another language and am searching for a word. For many years it was French, my second language - which wasn't too bad when I was trying to speak Spanish but got blank looks in Russia & the Czech Republic.

However, now it is Xhosa, as I use this more frequently but far less fluently than French. I am looking forward to trying out my Xhosa in France one day...
 
Posted by birdie (# 2173) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:

Whilst living in Germany I had an operation on my nose for a deviated septum, the area concerned being my Nasescheidewand. Telling a German friend about it I referred to my Scheidewand, which actually means vagina.
I can't be the only person to be thrilled to discover that the german for nasal septum is 'nose vagina'.
 
Posted by Trickydicky (# 16550) on :
 
I was speaking to French lady (we were in France, after all). I wanted to say that my brother works in Edinburgh with a people with a disability.

I said 'mon frere travail a Edinburgh avec les deshabille'.

Unfortunately, 'deshabille' does not mean disabled. It means undressed. [Hot and Hormonal]
 
Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Haydee:
I have a tendancy to have a 'default foreign language' that comes out when I am trying to speak another language and am searching for a word. For many years it was French, my second language - which wasn't too bad when I was trying to speak Spanish but got blank looks in Russia & the Czech Republic.

However, now it is Xhosa, as I use this more frequently but far less fluently than French. I am looking forward to trying out my Xhosa in France one day...
Oh, I do that too! Welsh in my case.
 
Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :
 
I also do that. I find it encouraging that it might be a shared human failing. There must a "foreign language words register" in our brains which we desperately thumb through when flailing for a word. When our brains tell us "foreign for house is maison", the proviso "for values of foreign that equal French rather than Xhosa" gets forgotten.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Many years ago I was stopped by an elderly French tourist on the Embankment in London and asked, in French, if I could direct her to the Tate. My reply in a language I hadn't used for 20 years was:

"Yes! It's very next - two midnights away."

I don't think it took her 48 hours to find it, though.

This last weekend I also confidently directed some Italian tourists to Westminster Cathedral, from a back street, in Italian. It was only after they'd gone, seeming less than impressed, that I realized they may not have been Italian. Oops.

[ 06. September 2012, 19:17: Message edited by: Ariel ]
 
Posted by cheesymarzipan (# 9442) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
quote:
Originally posted by Haydee:
I have a tendancy to have a 'default foreign language' that comes out when I am trying to speak another language and am searching for a word. For many years it was French, my second language - which wasn't too bad when I was trying to speak Spanish but got blank looks in Russia & the Czech Republic.

However, now it is Xhosa, as I use this more frequently but far less fluently than French. I am looking forward to trying out my Xhosa in France one day...
Oh, I do that too! Welsh in my case.
A few years ago, we were in france on holiday, and my mum wanted to buy a stamp:

Mum: Ga i une timbre, os gwelwch yn dda?
Shop man: ????
Mum (to my sister): timbre is french for stamp isn't it?
Sister: yes but the rest of that sentence was in welsh!
 
Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on :
 
Some years ago, my late husband lived in Italy. He was invited to a friend's wedding with his then girlfriend, who was Italian.
Expecting a long and boring service, he said to her, in Italian, "Let's sit at the back so we can slip out if we want to."
What she heard was: "Let's sit at the back so we can have sex if we want to."
(He only realised this some time later, though - at the time all she did was shrug and say "Okay.")
 
Posted by HughWillRidmee (# 15614) on :
 
My french is very limited but I have found that I can often get away with using the english word delivered with what I fondly imagine to be a french accent.

Twenty plus years ago we stopped off to see a family who lived just south of the Loire (a family member had exchanged with their 15 year old). Neither parent spoke any english, the 15 year old had a smattering and the 10 and 8 year olds emulated their parents.

After enjoying their hospitality, an excellent al fresco lunch and a little(?) local wine I commented that french bread was very different to the normal british bread, only to guess that the response was an enquiry as to what caused the difference. When I explained that we put preservatives in to our bread rather than buy fresh daily I was surprised to see the two youngsters disappear under the table with their fists wedged firmly into their mouths.

For those of you whose french is as poor as mine - the dictionary I consulted that evening gave two french words for preservative - one of which was "preservative". Unfortunately the french use the other one when referring to food - "un preservative" is, apparently, a condom.
 
Posted by LutheranChik (# 9826) on :
 
My dad liked to tell the story of his church Christmas program, back when he was a child, and one of his little classmates -- a girl who already had a reputation in school as being not the brightest scholar on the block -- who had been assigned to recite the Scripture text in German, "And they shall call him Emmanuel." Instead, she used the word "Oelmann" (sorry - don't know the secret code for the umlauted o): "And they shall call him Oilman."
 
Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Haydee:
I am looking forward to trying out my Xhosa in France one day...
How's your Xhlicking?
 
Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :
 
I soon have to tackle Kunwiŋku and probably a separate and unrelated Yolŋu Matha (Arnhemland language) probably Djinaŋ ... I am a poor linguist anyway, but I fear random synapses will come up with half-remembered French and Māori at meaningless moments
 
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
I remember hearing a voice major at a recital towards her Bachelor in Music. She was singing a classical song in German. She had forgotten the words to part of her song as she was nervous. She filled in the gap by counting in German and fitting the words to the music. Eventually the words came to mind and she carried on without missing a beat.
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Oh, I am enjoying these tales! (Remembering that I mix words up enough in English.) [Hot and Hormonal]

So, in Paris just over a month ago, I hurried to the desk asking for the key to room soixante et un, instead of cinquante et un. Apparently I had wanted to go to the roof. (Sixty-one and Fifty-one respectively.)

The owner-manager was not pleased with my sad attempt to remember what I had studied over forty years ago.
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
If you get the pitch of a word wrong in Vietnamese, the whole meaning is different. I once messed up a phone conversation this way with spectacular results.

I thought she was asking "When will your husband be home?" to which I thought I replied, "seven o'clock."

She really was getting mischievous with the non-Vietnamese speaker, and had said "Oh, is your husband out tom catting around?" to which I replies "You liar!"

She told the whole community not to play games with me anymore, I understood EVERYTHING. As if.
 
Posted by Haydee (# 14734) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
quote:
Originally posted by Haydee:
I am looking forward to trying out my Xhosa in France one day...
How's your Xhlicking?
Not too bad [Smile] my foster daughters' first language is Xhosa and the little one (5 years old) loves getting me to say various words and then very patronisingly correcting my pronunciation! In fact she is very patronising on the whole subject, as she speaks more English than I do Xhosa, even though I'm a grown up who is supposed to know EVERYTHING [Eek!]
 
Posted by Higgs Bosun (# 16582) on :
 
My father related a tale from when he and some friends were youth-hostelling in Germany in 1938. One day they were with a bunch of Germans, and my father's friend found himself sitting rather squashed up with a young German lady. He intended to make a remark which was politically clever and to have a bit more room for himself, and intended to say "Gibt mir etwas lebensraum" - give me some room to live in, where lebensraum was a politically hot word at the time, relating to Germany taking over the Sudetenland. Unfortunately, it came out as "Gibt mir etwas liebensraum" - give me some room to love in. I don't remember from the story if the young lady in question gave him a slap.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
A school where I once taught hosted several foreign exchange students. Once, at an assembly, they each got up to say a few words about how their experience was going.

A girl from Sweden was first to go. Her command of English was good, and she spoke very rapidly.

Next came a boy from Germany. He began his remarks with: "I've heard it said, but now I know it for sure: Swedish girls sure are fast!"

The assembly was in stitches, much to the boy's embarrassment.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Having not been too long in West Africa, and not being very familiar with the local "Crioulo" version of Portuguese, I was once "pounced" upon to lead a prayer and blessing at the end of a church service. Being in a place where there was a High School, there were many young people present.

So I stammered out a highly conventional prayer about "God remaining with us until we got home"; however, I was aware of a slight sussuration of giggles among the pcongregation. The next day I asked one young lady what I had said wrong. At first she was reluctant to tell me ... but eventually she said, "Well, we all knew what you meant to pray. But what you actually did was ask God to be with us till we all got married"!

Whoops.

PS My not-then wife, living in Senegal and speaking in French to a ladies' meeting about Jesus in the wilderness, meant to say that he had a big "faim" (= hunger). Instead she declared that he had a big "femme" (= wife). Not quite the same.

[ 07. September 2012, 15:14: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Another story. When living in Portugal (before going to Africa), I was speaking to a friend about a letter I'd received from a mutual acquaintance.

"Oh, how is she?" I was asked.
"Not too bad", I replied, "unfortunately she has been having a lot of pain in her trousers".

I had confused "calcas" (= trousers) with "costas" (= back). Easily done!
 
Posted by Dormouse (# 5954) on :
 
Similarly to Baptist trainfan's not-wife (?!) when I was preaching in French, I spent the entire sermon talking about spiritual puddings (desserts) rather than spiritual deserts.
"Have you ever been in a spiritual pudding? I know I have..."

Of course, people knew what I meant, but it did cause a few smiles.
 
Posted by M. (# 3291) on :
 
Macarius once told a table of amused French people that he was pregnant (he meant he was full after dinner).

And a friend who had just started learning French went into a restaurant and confidently asked for 'une table a deux poissons' rather than 'une table a deux personnes' (a table for two fish, rather than for two people).

M.
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
Not in a foreign language, but in English. My grandmother did this all the time.

She once was telling a friend about how a torpedo once went over my family's house. My grandfather laughed, so she corrected herself: "I mean, a Toronado!" Which of course was even funnier, but still not quite the truth. I'll bet by now you can figure out what really went over our house.

Another time, she was recounting how she had been seated on a plane next to Gov. George Romney's niece or cousin or some relative or other. "She's a moron just like him," she said, insulting a whole religion in the process.

One time, however, I proved that I'm her granddaughter. I was visiting my parents, and my then-roommate was with me. As we were driving up the driveway (it curves up a hill), I pointed out my mom's "spaghetti garden." It was actually one of these. Well, you know, some kind of pasta. [Razz]

[ 08. September 2012, 20:12: Message edited by: churchgeek ]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dormouse:
Similarly to Baptist trainfan's not-wife (?!)
Well, she became my wife about 3 years later!

And still is.

[ 08. September 2012, 22:21: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :
 
I remember when I was at Uni, going round to a friend's house one Sunday lunchtime after church. He asked if I could smell something. I wasn't sure, so he said "Can you smell the joint"? Still not being able to smell very much, but not wanting to seem rude, I just said "yes". He asked again, "Can you smell it"? I sniffed and replied "Yes... it smells lovely!"

It was only when I saw the very odd look on my friend's face that I realised he'd meant joint as in the sort you smoke, not the sort you roast...

[Hot and Hormonal] [Hot and Hormonal]

Then there's the times when I've worked up a particularly fine sense of righteous indignation about something one of my two children has done, only to get my words mixed up as I tell them off. Which normally ends with a rather pathetic "just don't do it again".
 
Posted by angelfish (# 8884) on :
 
To a French speaking friend I once declared "je suis froid" (meaning to say "I am cold", but in fact saying "I am frigid".)

I made the same grammaical error some years later, telling my French host that I was tiresome, rather than tired.

I have now given up trying to speak French.
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
I was specifically warned not to make that mistake in German. Ich bin heiss (or kalt) means sexual feelings. Mir ist heiss (or kalt) means I feel hot or cold.

Moo
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I went on a mission trip to a powerfully impoverished town outside Ensenada when I was about 22-- One night I was hanging out with the town sweetheart,Nieva, a lovely sixteen year old girl with the face of an angel, and two of my lovelorn gringo friends. It was getting past dinner so I sighed, "Tengo un gran hombre."

At which point Nieva literally fell off a wooden fence laughing at me. I had tried to say, "I am really hungry" (hambre) and what I wound up saying was "I have a great big man."

Thinking quickly on my feet, I looked right at her, winked and said "Ojalá." ("I wish.")

[ 09. September 2012, 22:08: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 
I thought this was going to be a thread about amusing stories related to "speaking in tongues" and was all set to tell everyone about the person in the church I used to be part of, whose every utterance began, "Coriander..." [Killing me]
 
Posted by geroff (# 3882) on :
 
As I don't speak any other languages apart from Gobledegook I will add this song from Rowan Atkinson to the thread.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
That was great, but the blind date sketch was even funnier. And to think that he is, in real life, an expert amateur racing driver who owns an experimental Rolls Royce V16!
 
Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :
 
A few years ago I was trying to explain to a French lifeguard that I thought my daughter had been stung by a jellyfish. Unfortunately the word that came to my mind was "nenuphare". He looked very puzzled indeed.
When we got back to the gite and checked the dictionary, I found the word I wanted was "meduse" and that I'd been insisting she'd been stung by a water lily!
 


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