Thread: UM: UM Relay Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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In the 'Favorite UM' thread, babybear suggested that we construct our own Urban Myth. I think that would be a fun project. So... for starters, let's do an UM relay.
Each poster should add the next detail of our new UM. It can be completely your own idea, or it can be taken from an existing UM (if so, let us know which one it comes from.) The only requirement is that the UM should end up making sense--ie each added piece should follow from the previous piece. Let's try going for 20 iterations before someone closes it--but hey, if someone has an awesome ending sooner, go for it.
babybear, since you proposed it, would you like to start?
Sieg
[ 10. March 2003, 02:02: Message edited by: Erin ]
Posted by babybear (# 34) on
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Argh, I didn't mean me! I was the one who came up with the idea.Last night I heard that most amazing tale. It was told to me a very dear and trusted friend.
Somwhere in the mid-west.....
edited to correct spelling
[ 07 September 2001: Message edited by: Siegfried ]
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
Last night I heard that most amazing tale. It was told to me a very dear and trusted friend.Somwhere in the mid-west.....
A farmer was getting ready to harvest his corn. As he was going over his harvesting equipment (which he hadn't even looked at since last season) he discovered in the cab of the harvester...
Sieg
(That'll teach you to make good suggestions, bb! 
)
Posted by tomb (# 174) on
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... a strange sheet of parchment-like paper covered with the most beautiful, but incomprehensible...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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geometric patterns which he couldn't fathom any sense out of at all.He returned back to the farm and showed....
Posted by Gill (# 102) on
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the parchment to his wife, who to his surprise exclaimed in horror. He then realized that his hand was slowly blistering and the skin was falling away.
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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He is rushed to the emergency room and is found to be suffering from flesh eating bacteria. The doctor examines the paper but doesn't recognize the contents. He lays it on the counter and...
Posted by Wood (# 7) on
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Suddenly has an unlikely hunch. So he grabs a Bible which conveniently happens to be on a nearby shelf and...
Posted by Phil R. (# 128) on
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Reveals an old magazine on the shelf behind it... On the cover of which
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on
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is a crop circle surrounding a pentangle, with the words "Warn the World! The AntiChrist has arisen!". Shocked, he drops the magazine, and turns around, to be confronted by...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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a man dressed all in black and wearing dark sunglasses, who takes hold of the patients injured hand and.....
Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on
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... kisses the bishop's ring on it, and then ...
Posted by babybear (# 34) on
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[administrative break]Oi! This was mean to be something that would approach a real live UM. It is being turned into "Men in Black" meets "X Files".
Get with the plot!
[end of administrative interlude]
bb
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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Thanks a lot babybear. I tried to re-route us a few posts back.Sieg
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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Okay so are we carrying on from here or backtracking to a certain? If backtracking to where?
Posted by Belisarius (# 32) on
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Before you backtrack--I got this compilation about 2 years ago...I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals),when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC).
Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people only you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms - if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. Government will put a tax on your e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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That is the sort of thing I had in mind. 
Shall we start again?
Sieg
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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Go On then.Let's Start again.
Posted by Cuttlefish (# 1244) on
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A friend of my grandmother, (who is a policeman, so he should know) said there are at least two fast food restaurants in her area who have been caught putting small amounts of addictive substances in the meals they serve up, to encourage customer loyalty.
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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Apparently, the chemicals react to a certain ingredient in the food of their leading rivals, causing anyone who eats there to...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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To be violently sick within 24 hours.It also ....
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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causes them to fall into a hypnogic state, in which they hallucinate they've been abducted by aliens. After coming out of this state, the victims discover that...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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their credit cards have all been maxed out and they can't recall what the money has been spent on.This is...
Posted by Phil R. (# 128) on
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a scam operated by the same gang that hides under cars on garage forecourts waiting to cut drivers' tendons; but then they also...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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sneak into unoccupied hotel rooms, take the toothbrushes of unsuspecting tourists and...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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place a chemical substance on the bristles.This is known as...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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glurging.
Posted by Gill (# 102) on
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Maybe we need to write bigger chunks?
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...Was the headline on the paper next day. The same paper which, on page 13 reported the mysterious dissappearance of...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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the digestive tracts of a herd of dairy cows outside Casper, Wyoming. Police reportedly found indications that led them to believe...
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on
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...that this was linked to two sets of footprints entering the field, and only one leaving it...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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When asked, a police representative stated, "Well, obviously, at the point where there is only one set of footprints, one assailant carried the other."(Sorry.. couldn't resisit the poke at 'Footprints'!)
Sieg
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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This has led to much debate over how much the state has to do with these occurences as how can the policeman say such things with such authority unless he has a prior knowledge of the event.Many other reasons have been put forward for these seemingly baffling footprints. The most popular is that at least one of the assailants possessed telekinetic powers which he used to levitate himself whilst in motion. Some crackpots have ventured the idea that prehaps the assailants hopped from that point. Other state sponsored cover ups such as...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...the fact that the Queen Mother actually died in 1998 and has, from that time, been a highly sofisticated animatronic, really have nothing to do with this case. After covert FBI investigation the true answer emerged. The secret branch of the government were actually breeding a new species of...
Posted by Phil R. (# 128) on
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...Ant. The social groupings of the insects can be used to form analog computers. As there's no electronics they can't be detected by snoopers. The link to the Queen Mother is still shadowy, but is expected to...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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be powered by this new form of power.The technology is still in its early stage so the queen mum is often in for repairs which explains her decline in public appearances. Other members of the royal family ...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...have been working as "men in black", wearing black suits and sunglasses, and terrorizing any member of the population who has discovered any any information that could in any way be connected to this plot. the only group who have discovered the truth, and are working to spread it are the....
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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Knights Templar who by increasing awareness of this conspiracy hope to cover up their own attempts to...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...replace the existing Royal family with the decendants of James, brother of Jesus, whom they consider the true Messiah. The followers of John the Baptist (Leonardo Davinci among them) have a counter-plot which involves taking DNA samples from...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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all major hollywood players.They will then be able to clone them and useing Alien Technology age them to the same age as the current hollywood stars.After Indoctrinating the clones with their beliefs they wil replace the stars with these puppets.The world film industry will change over night and begin as a dedicated propaganda machine.The only group who can stop this are...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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the Trilateralist commission. However, they are currently preoccupied by their long-running feud with...
(hmmm.. getting into conspiracies here.. but I personally have always felt conspiracy theories have a large crossover with UMs)
Sieg
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on
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...J.K.Rowling, who was unavailable for comment. It was however pointed out that she has never been seen simultaneously in public with Hilary Clinton, which has given rise to further speculation that...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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the potter books are in fact an ingenious (if very cloaked) allegory of American politics of the past decade.The next book in the series will be an allegory of policies and actions Mrs.Clinton wishes to take as she attempts to move from Senator to President. The reaction to this novel will dictate what action she takes.Bill meanwhile..
Posted by Wood (# 7) on
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having discovered that Monica Lewinsky was, in fact, also a MIB plant...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...went back to studying those mutant ants. In Britain, however, attention was gripped by the breakiing news story: It turns out that all popular urban myths are infact...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...simply mistranslated parables from the long missing, legendary "q" source. the only surviving manuscript of "q" is held by the knights templar also, who have been using it to....
Posted by babybear (# 34) on
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...wipe their bottoms. But they had faithfully scanned the orginal documments. It is possible to view them at....
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...the Office of Public Records in Penge on the third tuesday of every month, they are however guarded by...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...the two 'winged Sphinx' (Cherubim) from the Ark of the Covenant. They were bought from an antiques dealer traiding from...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...the back of an old van in Camden Town market, who in turn had obtained them from....
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...a strange man in the market of Jerusalem who claimed to be descended from Moses. He also claimed to know the whereabouts of...
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on
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... a large number of dried Philistine foreskins. Some archaeologists speculate that these may have been used in an early version of the game "Tiddlywinks". This view is ...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...a mysterious station that is not shown on any maps of the London underground but is known to all followers of...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...highly suspect to say the least. however, reports that the holy grail was....
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...made of plastic...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Ham'n'Eggs:
... a large number of dried Philistine foreskins. Some archaeologists speculate that these may have been used in an early version of the game "Tiddlywinks". This view is ...
Posted by Phil R. (# 128) on
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... have been greatly boosted following the rediscovery of an original Jacobean manuscript. This clearly shows that the KJV is a mistranslation; and "Palestine" should read "Plasticine" throughout.
This, combined with the previously mentioned "q" source, leads logically to the assertion that...
Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on
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Possible Ending:That the world is a funny old place and we'll never understand it.So why bother?Anyone coming down the pub?Carrying On? That the hallucogenic properties of Plasticine which have been kept secret for years actually allow us to empathise with other creature.Certain colours correspond to certain enviroments.Blue for Aquatic Animals.Green for Grass dwelling animals and Orange for the animals which dwell inside the core of the earth.A whole civilization devoted to their worship was wiped out in 2000BC by...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...a rather nasty ear infection that did cause them to expire in agony. This was caused by....
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...ignoring your mother when she told you not to stick your finger in your ear, as you didn't know where it had been.That reminds me of another story--this was told to me by this guy I met at the pub, who swore it happened to his mother's neighbor's cousin's hairdresser. It seems that he had recently visited...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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the antarctic continent, on a penguin sightseeing tour, when he....
Posted by Sue of Visions (# 1130) on
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quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
the antarctic continent, on a penguin sightseeing tour, when he....
saw a strange, robed figure, frozen in a huge block of ice...as he walked towards the iceblock it began to crack and...
Posted by Stephen (# 40) on
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.....and thaw and ultimately said to him
"Can you tell me please which is the right road to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgerychwyrndrobwllllantissilioogogoch?
I've been here for the last twenty centuries and I think I've got lost..."
Whereupon it started to....
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...rain very confused looking marmosets. Now this was a lucky break, as everyone knows that marmosets are vital for the preparation of...
Posted by Ham'n'Eggs (# 629) on
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...Chelsea Hotel Muffins. The recipe for these is so exorbitantly priced (in addition they have cornered the market in marmosets) that...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...people are spreading the recipe around the Internet for free, to keep people from being charged for the recipe. The recipe, interestingly enough, is usually also accompanied by a warning, written by officer Stan Gleason of the Kalamazoo, MI PD, cautioning readers...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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"Chelsea Marmoset Muffins: Warning, these muffins may contain traces of marmoset. Also, sleeping tablets may cause drowsiness and Superman pajamas do not enable the wearer to fly."This warning has achieved cult status amongst young...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...Conservatives. It is read out with great solemnity at their annual dinner dance in Winchester , immediately before the ritual of...
Posted by Wood (# 7) on
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...engaging in ritualistic and bizarre sex practices. Iain Duncan-Smith, one of their highest-rankiang acolytes...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...and High Priest of the Royal and Ancient order of Xrmphz, personally sacrifices several virgins wearing twin sets and pearls(The virgins, not him). These virgins....
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...are actually alien/human hybreds, and haivng "relations" with one will cause....
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...have an irresistible urge to hide beneath cars in mall parking lots, waiting for...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...christmas. At the annual gathering of "Illuminati for Free Speech"...
Posted by Sue of Visions (# 1130) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Highlander:
...christmas. At the annual gathering of "Illuminati for Free Speech"...
The chairman of the board was thrown out for swearing. As he wandered the streets desperately trying to remember where he parked his car he met....
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...a maiden dressed in samite of the purest white, carrying a long sharp sword and leaving a trail of water and pond weed. She asked....
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...."excuse me sir, do you know the shortest bus route to tintagel?" he replied.....
Posted by Stephen (# 40) on
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".....Oh,dear.The X34 has just gone....you can get there with the X42,but you'll have to change at Swansea, Inverness and Carmarthen.In that order".....whereupon she expostulated.....
Posted by Late Quartet (# 1207) on
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...this sharp weapon I am carrying was one from a whole set of swords bought in 1969 by John Lennon from the proceeds of ...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...the sale of his grandmothers false teeth which had originally belonged to....
Posted by Ham 'n' Eggs (# 629) on
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...his grandmother.Surprisingly enough, this reminded me of the story which was told me by a (conveniently) deaf window-cleaner from Shoreditch, who had an debilitating addiction to campanology (but that is another story). He told me that his Guatamalean lover's poodle's gynacologist had once driven down a remote country lane late at night, and in the headlights of his hearse saw...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...a patch of mist that looked suspiciously like a normal patch of mist....
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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..but closer to, resolved itself into a veritable spectral crowd, including a wan girl in a party dress, a highwayman hanged on the spot 200 years ago, an anomalous big cat and a visitant from the future, who...
Posted by Sue of Visions (# 1130) on
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Promptly began to have an argument. Each insisting that the others could not possibly exist. Suddenly they all looked upward hearing the sound of a......
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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....descending dirigable filled with lamenting neopagans....
Posted by Late Quartet (# 1207) on
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....playing digeredoos which had been used to smuggle uranium out of the Northern Territory for supply to ...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...the Trilateralist commission. They planned to use the uranium to construct...
Posted by Ham 'n' Eggs (# 629) on
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... a teleporter to communicate with the lizards. The main drawback with this was that the lizards were massive Elvis fans, and ...
Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on
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have all set off on a life-long quest to prove he's not dead. They've come up with some interesting evidence, which...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...all other authorities refute with great scorn, this has caused them to withdraw to their stronghold at....
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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an undisclosed location deep in antarctica. this mountain stronghold is also home to....
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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...the pixie liberation front....
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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Editorial Request
Could we try to include UM references or conspiracy theory references in each installment? Otherwise, this is just devolving into a generic story relay.
Thanks.
Posted by Late Quartet (# 1207) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
Editorial Request
Could we try to include UM references or conspiracy theory references in each installment
Thanks.
Hey Siegfried out of the last 7 postings (before yours) I could point all of those back to UM's (except the pixie liberation front ... and that is simply because I have been keeping away from the PLF because at my height I would be in great danger from them)
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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Oh? I didn't recognize several of the references, then. For example--the stronghold in Antarctica and the uranium smuggling?Sieg
Posted by Late Quartet (# 1207) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
Oh? I didn't recognize several of the referencese--the stronghold in Antarctica and the uranium smuggling?Sieg
OK: Stronghold in Antartica; inhabited by aliens or alien lizards or Nazis is the usual one for that: anyone gonna help me with a location for that... and if it doesn't exist time for us to create it!
Found one....here!
AUTHOR: Vesco, Renato and Childress, David Hatcher
"Nazi UFO's" get major play here, along with the claim of a Nazi escape after the war -- to Antartica?!?
Uranium smuggling is usually a UM created by governments to justify bombing small countries to smithereens (despite their own capabilities to annhilate the whole planet).
As to Uranium smuggling, loadsa stuff on the net about this. Specific to Australia, not so much since it is spent uranium which is most dangerous (and the digereedoos was my poetic licence, yes). Here's one Aussie set that mentions smuggling.
Do you want answers for the others too Siegried?
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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quote:
...the pixie liberation front....
...who went in search of Santa Claus and found him living in Spain. He was wearing blue at the time and they asked him if he had ever met Brian. santa refused to either confirm or deny that he had met this semi-legendary figure. Meanwhile, in their cavern under Harvard university, the Skull & Bones society was carrying out on of their sinister occult rituals, when they had finished they met up with the freemasons and went down the pub (whose sign shows a triangle with an eye in it). When George Bush tried to pay for a round with a cheque he found he couldn't because he did not have a number on his wrist or forehead. Shortly after this, on a lonely country lane in Yorkshire, a young couple were stopped by...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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Nice one!
Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on
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a man, asking for change for a fiver. when they obliged, he pocketed the money, and in a hushed voice, warned them not to...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...listen to a word he was about to say. However, they ignored his warning and listened in awe as he told them about the UFO which had crashed just half a mile up the road sometime in the 1960s. He offered to show them the sight. They noticed he was wearing a name badge, it said "BRIAN". He got in to their car and gave them directions as they drove. When they reached the location they saw that Brian had vanished. They looked around the alleged crash sight but found little evidence of a UFO. Assuming they had been tricked, they got back in to the car and drove home. Watching the news the next morning they found out that, had they taken their intended route, they would almost certainly have...
Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on
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arrived in no time at all. Spooky, huh?
Send this to all your friends. If u send it to ten people, you...
Posted by TinaG (# 1179) on
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... will not die in suspicious circumstances. And remember, we know where you live and have your children/cat/dog. Attempting to destroy this message will result in a visit from....
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...Brian.
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...will recieve a personally autographed picture of bill gates, and a....
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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eek,somehow i missed those last two posts when i made mine. sorry.
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...genuine chihuahua, right from the streets of Tijuana!That one went a bit better than the first. Shall we go again?
In her last letter, my mother told me about a friend of her hairdresser's cousin. It seems that while she and her husband were driving late at night, they saw a car approaching them flash it's lights at them. They thought this odd, as their own lights were properly set. When they flashed their own lights back...
Posted by Ham 'n' Eggs (# 629) on
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...the car turned around and followed them. At the next intersection, it pulled ahead of them, and swerved to block them off. The driver got out, and said "Get in. You're going to pay a visit to"...
Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on
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... a factory where hooks for escaped maniacs are made, and ...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...ropes designed for hanging boyfriends above cars are produced. Members of the public can visit this factory but if they do then they run the risk of having a kidney taken and then force-fed pop rocks and soda to make them explode. This factories existence is doubted by...
Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on
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only those who don't love the lord Jesus with all their heart. These evil people have, with the help of satan himself, set up a group who's aim is to petition the government about...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...removing all non-Christian programming on television. As a bonus, if you sign their petition you will receive a copy of the gay-Jesus script and...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...a personally autographed picture of bill gates as a thank you from microsoft. however, a less pleasent gift coming with this is a blue envelope infected with a virus which will....
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...open a pornography page on your computer and then send it to everyone in your address book. You can, however, prevent this by...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...placing a dollar bill in a glass jar and burying it in your backyard during a new moon. You will then be contacted by...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...that farmer from the midwest who has by now finished harvesting his corn. He will ask you to pass on a message to...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...the aliens in the mothership hovering over your head. the message will have something to do with the farmers irritation at having his corn spoiled by crop circles, but will not impress the aliens, who will....
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...return Elvis and Glenn Miller to torture the inhabitants of the Earth. Out of this devestation, however, will rise one man who will...
Posted by Stooberry (# 254) on
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go on to create a one-world government, and force people to have barcodes tatooed onto their foreheads. to stop this, sign the attached petition. when it reaches 100 names, send it to...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...Outback Steakhouse, who will give you your choice of either a free meal or...
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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...a kentucky fried rat. if you chose the rat....
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...then you have a choice of two cooking options: Sauteed or fricasseed. For the first option, you take the freshly shaved rat, marinate it in a puddle for a while (until it's drowned), stretch it out under a hot lightbulb then you get within dashing distance of a latrine and scoff it right down. The second option is exactly the same, just a slightly bigger rat. If you survive the meal then you will be given...edited to correct spelling
[ 08 October 2001: Message edited by: Siegfried ]
Posted by Aj Wegman (# 1383) on
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a free set of steak knives and a solar-powered mousetrap. But all this is only yours if you grab your phone right now and call...
Posted by Ham 'n' Eggs (# 629) on
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... 1-666-666-0666, which is of course, the number for ...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...the Australian Police force (you have to be British to get that!). However, if you do dial this number you will be allowing unscrupulous types to make phone calls and charge them to you (the swines!). Also, if you receive an e-mail with the subject "Happy Birthday", under no circumstances open the attatchment as it will release...
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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...a horde of spiders that were nesting inside that cactus your sister-in-law sent you from Cabo San Lucas last fall. You faint in horror, and wake up to find yourself...Sieg
(woo-hoo! Post #700!!!)
Posted by Aj Wegman (# 1383) on
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...lying outside the back door of a rubber-band factory. There is strange music coming from inside the building. In such a predicament you find you are sapped (sorry!)of strength, so you reach for you elastic-sided inflatable dartboard and realise that...
Posted by Professor Yaffle (# 525) on
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...the music is in fact a cover version of "Bermuda Triangle" being recorded by Elvis, John Lennon, Glen Miller, Buddy Holly and the St Winifred's School Choir.
Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on
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and janis joplin as well. this strange choir causes you to have such a headache that you take two extra-strength tylenol, and....
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...wake up to find it's all been a horrible nightmare! You are infact...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...probably loosing interest in this story. Anyone got a good ending?
Posted by Aj Wegman (# 1383) on
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Okay. Let's try to wrap this one up. You are busy thinking of some incredibly witty addition to the UM relay when suddenly the worldwide electricity supply mysteriously drops out, closely followed by the failure of the global telecommunications network. This leaves the entire www in disarray for some time. You light a candle and read a book instead. The book is called...
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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...The Bible.
Posted by Highlander (# 584) on
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Perhaps this should now be written up. I'm happy to do it if you like.
Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on
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That would be fantastic, Highlander! Thanks!
