Thread: Hell: Unexpected item in bagging area Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
You know the story. You pop in to the supermarket for a couple of items, and stupidly think the self-service checkout will be quicker than the ones with the long queues with trolleys piled high.

"Do you have your own bag?" - there is NO correct answer to this because you will either be asked to remove the last item from an (empty/non-existent) bag or else to wait for an assistant to verify your bag.

"Unexpected item in bagging area!" This will often be the last thing you just scanned.

Every so often the machine gets bored. "Please wait. The assistant is coming." And after the assistant has been, fixed it and gone, "Please remove the last item from the bag."

Assuming you get past that, then "Please insert cash into the slot" and heaven help you if you have a banknote. You basically have to iron the damn thing beforehand and assume a crouching position (I swear these machines literally want you on your knees) trying to feed it in. It never works first time.

"Temporarily card (or cash) payments only" - just after you've tried to pay by cash (or card). In the end the assistant will lose patience and put a bag over the head of the annoying terminal.

By now, long queues are forming as people stand there waiting for the luckless assistant, who's trying to sort out three other customers simultaneously on self-service tills that aren't happy. Meanwhile, the other long queues at the non-self-service checkouts have paid, left, gone home, had dinner and are about to go to bed.

[ 28. May 2015, 14:50: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Preach.

I got into an argument with one of those dumb-ass machines the other day, because I put a second bag next to the one I had just filled. It squealed at me to remove the first one, but I had nowhere to put it. I finally set it on the floor.
 
Posted by goperryrevs (# 13504) on :
 
Usually if I'm shopping the unexpected item is my daughter's teddy bear - he gets around...
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Meanwhile, the other long queues at the non-self-service checkouts have paid, left, gone home, had dinner and are about to go to bed.

Oh, you mean non-self serve is an option where you live? I shop at the most understaffed Safeway in the world. First thing you learn: grab a basket while you are in the parking lot, because no one has collected them in ages. Do your shopping, and hope that you don't need deli or meat counter service. And then get ready to do self-service for your entire weeks' worth of food, because there will be no one on the check out stands, or the person running the one line is running around getting someone a new carton of milk that isn't leaking or tobacco products (no one on staff to call for help on that project).

I will say that the first place I did lots of self check out had the best attendant in the world assigned to that post. She knew all of the produce codes by heart, and would yell them to you before you spent two seconds clicking through the catalog. They don't get her kind at my new place.
 
Posted by aunt jane (# 10139) on :
 
I once got sworn at by a member of supermarket staff when I said I wouldn't use the self service checkout again because it kept "unexpected item in bagging area" me.
I kid you not.
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
I came THIS close to telling the auto-checkout that it could shove the "unexpected item" up its "bagging area." Not a good thing in a crowd all buying ahead of the storm. [Hot and Hormonal]

My son was entertained.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:

I will say that the first place I did lots of self check out had the best attendant in the world assigned to that post. She knew all of the produce codes by heart, and would yell them to you before you spent two seconds clicking through the catalog. They don't get her kind at my new place.

That is beyond awesome.
 
Posted by Taliesin (# 14017) on :
 
Our how about the new self scanning as you go round, thing? Looks marvellous, beep your shopping and bag it, pay a total automatically calculated as you leave the store. Lovely. Until the random rescan, which takes place at the smallest desk imaginable. Trying to unpack 6 bags of shopping, the random guilt that convinces anxious people like me that this is the day my son will have put something in the trolley without beeping it properly, and the woman trying to balance it all on the tiny desk drops a 4 pint poly of milk which bursts all over the floor. She finishes bleeping it all but says it doesn't tell her if it's accurate or not, that info goes directly to managers office. I struggle to collect up all bags again and leave behind bag with bread in, which is what I went shopping for in the first place... And don't realise till trying to make sandwiches for 4 people at 7.30 following morning. Grrrrrrrr.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
I rarely have that sort of problem. The usual problems are if I've forgotten my bags and need to try to get one of the plastic bags hanging there open, I just can't seem to get the knack (while the operators on the tills pile up a thousand of the things all open and ready to fill even though I've clearly got twice as many "bags for life" than I need). The annoying thing is just how many items need someone to come along and authorise them - it's just 16 iboprofen! If I can't get this stupid bag open soon it'll be 14.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I once put a bottle of ibuprofen in my purse, and the autochecker had a shitfit because I didn't put it on the scale after paying for it. The attendant had to come and administer a sedative.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
Remember, everybody, these are made by the same people who will be designing your self-driving cars.

"Unexpected item in the front bumper area. Help is on the way."
 
Posted by anoesis (# 14189) on :
 
I have heard loads of complaints of exactly this sort from, well, just about anyone who has ever used one of these things. Luckily they have not wholly overtaken checkouts operated by real, actual, people here yet.

I don't use them because I see them as taking away jobs from checkout operators - there have to be some jobs left in society for people who are just never going to be an IT professional or a graphic designer or a PR consultant or whatever. They're paid little enough already, and with the 'self-checkout' system it's usually one attendant to four or six 'tills'. I hope they [the machines] continue to be as useless, time-consuming, and frustrating to customers as they are currently. If supermarkets notice that people are more interested in standing in line to interact with a person, rather than having the opportunity to wrestle thanklessly with a machine right now, maybe they'll give up on them...
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
I hate the automatic check in at the doctors and hospitals too – they terrify me I always press the wrong button.

Last time I had an appointment, I got a severe telling off from the receptionist for not using the automated one. – I didn’t know it was compulsory.
[Frown]
 
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by aunt jane:
I once got sworn at by a member of supermarket staff when I said I wouldn't use the self service checkout again because it kept "unexpected item in bagging area" me.
I kid you not.

In my local Sainsburys, the assistants prowl the normal checkout lines like the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, seeing whom they can drag off to humiliate in the self-service queues.

The first time one of them got me, I smiled and said, "No thanks, I'd rather wait." She moved on. A couple of weeks later, the same assistant came up to me again to tell me the self-service was free. I smiled and said, "No thanks, I'd rather stick hot needles in my eyes." She moved on. She stopped. She half turned to face me in that "Did I just hear what I think I heard?" way. Then she thought better of it and moved on.

It's odd, but I don't think I've seen that assistant again.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
We need to start running the NoHell Unrest Awards for best application of Hell ethos to a RL situation without killing someone. Good one, Adeodatus!
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
That'll be because of the hot needle treatment, Ads.
 
Posted by basso (# 4228) on :
 
You people get clerks/assistants at your self-checkout lines? How fancy. There's usually nobody to be found when the robot starts getting its automated little panties in a knot for me.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
As much as I hate everyone and want exactly zero interaction with them at any time, I go out of my way to avoid the self-service checkouts.

Either: they work for your entire shop every single time,
Or: they are killed with flaming hammers.

So far, all the ones I've encountered deserve the flaming hammer treatment.
 
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
You people get clerks/assistants at your self-checkout lines?

Yes, but they have to have been trained in both Basic and Advanced Attitude.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
When attendants manifest themselves, I have been lucky enough to get good humored ones. In the purse incident I described, the attendant and I spent a few merry minutes speculating on the various neuroses of the autochecker, and suggesting about where she* could go to get a restoring vacation.

For me, thought the point is, the attendant shouldn't have to be making the rounds, addressing Sylvia Bot-Plath's little melt-downs.

* The voice was that of an overly-serious female. The effect was that of hearing someone making an urgent 911 call about produce.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
I frequent a DIY where the self-check has a permanent attendant. I still laugh at this.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Hmm. As a person who initially had a distaste for the self-service checkout at the supermarket, but who now tends to use it because it's damn clear they're not going to put anything like enough staff on 'staffed' checkouts to deal with the likes of me, with my single-person household and hence a handheld basket, in between the mothers buying enough food to keep me going for several weeks...

...a lot of what you folk are complaining about sounds like poor process design as much as anything. Most of the things you're saying aren't inherent faults of a self-service checkout, they're the result of poor programming or poor decisions.

For example, 'scan as you go' is clearly a dumb idea.

I notice the differences. Of the two main supermarket chains here, there are several reasons why I tend to prefer Woolworths to Coles, but one of the reasons is that the Coles self-service checkouts are notably more idiotic than the Woolworths ones IMHO. And louder.
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
You people get clerks/assistants at your self-checkout lines?


Too many. I'd use them if there were fewer assistants about. As it is they assume I don't know what I'm doing and interfere patronisingly before I get half a chance to check out. Which makes me angry. So I queue for the normal tills.

Also I nearly always buy things that legally require a human to check them anyway - the obvious ones being alcohol and paracetamol - so the alarm would always go off when I got to them.
 
Posted by Pancho (# 13533) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I frequent a DIY where the self-check has a permanent attendant. I still laugh at this.

quote:
Originally posted by ken:
Too many. I'd use them if there were fewer assistants about. As it is they assume I don't know what I'm doing and interfere patronisingly before I get half a chance to check out.

As a retail veteran, my experience is that for every customer like Ken and lilBuddha who doesn't need help there are 6 or 7 others who do (and in fairness some of these machines can be hard to figure out, especially if you've never used the self check-out before) and half the time the ones who say they don't need any help come back asking for it.
 
Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
Too many. I'd use them if there were fewer assistants about. As it is they assume I don't know what I'm doing and interfere patronisingly before I get half a chance to check out.

I quite deliberately select the unmanned tills in order to avoid a "helpful" assistant packing my shopping. Unfortunately, the unmanned tills at my local supermarket are the kind with conveyor belts, and they have enough spare employees that someone often leaps out of some secret cupboard and starts randomly shoving things in plastic bags.

Somehow, they seem to have an unerring ability to put canned vegetables and bananas in the same bag.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:


Somehow, they seem to have an unerring ability to put canned vegetables and bananas in the same bag.

I thought that they taught you not to do things like that when you got the bagger job.
 
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
... they seem to have an unerring ability to put canned vegetables and bananas in the same bag.

But not necessarily in that order ...
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
The double check person thing after the self serve check out? Why do they always start with "how are you today?" What I am supposed to say? How about "I have many medical problems", or "my bowels are in an uproar"? Or maybe "I've come to turn myself in".
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:


Somehow, they seem to have an unerring ability to put canned vegetables and bananas in the same bag.

I thought that they taught you not to do things like that when you got the bagger job.
Okay, I'll bite. What the bloody hell is wrong with having bananas and canned vegetables in the same bag, when the whole point of cans is that they are quite effective at preventing interaction between the contents and any stray fruit that might, apparently against all etiquette, be hurtling past?
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I guess it depends on what kind of bag you got, but won't the cans themselves be bouncing around? and thus banging the bananas?

The bananas ideally belong gently placed between two packages of toilet paper.Or a bag full of marshmallows.
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
I tried to use one at a local supermarket but I couldn't hear rhe voice and the assistant was rude.

I hate supermakets.

[ 14. March 2014, 03:30: Message edited by: Huia ]
 
Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:

Somehow, they seem to have an unerring ability to put canned vegetables and bananas in the same bag.

As a former cashier/bagger in a small mom and pop grocery store, the preferred technique is to put the cans on top of the butter. This works especially well with paper bags.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I guess it depends on what kind of bag you got, but won't the cans themselves be bouncing around? and thus banging the bananas?

The bananas ideally belong gently placed between two packages of toilet paper.Or a bag full of marshmallows.

We're weird in this country. We keep the thick skins on the bananas until we're ready to eat them.

Although, now that I think of it, I'm paying a lot more money for the weight of those damn inedible skins.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
I tried to use one at a local supermarket but I couldn't hear rhe voice and the assistant was rude.

I hate supermakets.

Rhesus saves with super macaques? Monkey business.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I guess it depends on what kind of bag you got, but won't the cans themselves be bouncing around? and thus banging the bananas?

The bananas ideally belong gently placed between two packages of toilet paper.Or a bag full of marshmallows.

We're weird in this country. We keep the thick skins on the bananas until we're ready to eat them.

Although, now that I think of it, I'm paying a lot more money for the weight of those damn inedible skins.

Oh, now you're just being obtuse. You know very well that a big bruise on the outside will make a brown gooshy spot on the outside. I like my bananas nicely freckled, but I can NOT abide those brown gooshy spots. That is the most disgusting---

WHYY!! do we keep coming back to food? Is is because of Lent?
 
Posted by ExclamationMark (# 14715) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I came THIS close to telling the auto-checkout that it could shove the "unexpected item" up its "bagging area."

Well I've done that. I routinely answer the machine back too - it clears the crowd and means that your wife refuses to shop with you again. I've also asked it for a discount on the basis I've the work of the cashier .... no response yet but I'll keep you posted.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Honestly, now I've got visions of deranged shopping assistants who aren't placing items in bags, but are dropping them from great heights or using violent downwards force, leaving squashed bananas in their wake.

I guess I would have realised the American propensity for violent aggression had extended even to this facet of life, if only I'd done some more grocery shopping. I did buy fruit** twice in Washington State, but it was at proper markets and I guess the actual growers are quite respectful of their produce. Not like those supermarket cretins who have no appreciation of where their stock comes from.

**Cherries and apricots. Not bananas.
 
Posted by M. (# 3291) on :
 
Last Remembrance Day, Macarius and I were in a supermarket at 11 am. All through the 2 mins silence, there came the plaintive cry of 'unexpected item in bagging area'.

Don't these machines have any respect?

M.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
All the ones in my local Tesco have personal space issues. The least infringement of which - a gnat passing over at ceiling height say - has them insisting there is an Unexpected Item. Screaming 'No there fucking isn't! You're imagining it!' has little effect other than clearing your immediate area of other shoppers.

There is a staffed till - usually a young chap with a twitchy look - who is obliged to hand you a card asking you to rate his performance. Given the competition, obviously he could be flinging your stuff at the far wall while laughing maniacally, and still come out ahead.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Honestly, now I've got visions of deranged shopping assistants who aren't placing items in bags, but are dropping them from great heights or using violent downwards force, leaving squashed bananas in their wake.

Now you are just fucking with me. Continuing this stupid banana tangent for your own sick amusement. One does not need to apply a sledgehammer to banana to make a deep bruise. The edge of a can will work just fine to leave a gooshy spot. [Projectile]

quote:
Originally posted by M.:
Last Remembrance Day, Macarius and I were in a supermarket at 11 am. All through the 2 mins silence, there came the plaintive cry of 'unexpected item in bagging area'.

Don't these machines have any respect?

M.

[Snigger]

(oh forgive me.)

[Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

[ 14. March 2014, 07:16: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
And depressingly, some of the machines bellow at you. If you try turning the volume down, it looks as if you're interfering with the machine and attracts unwanted attention.

I'm glad to say that the "let me pack your shoppping for you" thing is mostly non-existent or on request only here. It does get done sometimes for charity by Boy Scouts or Sea Cadets, but I tend to pack my own instead. The bananas need to go in last, on top of everything, otherwise the tins are likely to break the skin and mashed banana gets everywhere. But if you put them into a plastic fruit bag first, it usually limits the damage.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
The bananas need to go in last, on top of everything, otherwise the tins are likely to break the skin and mashed banana gets everywhere.

SEE, orfeo? [Razz]

quote:
But if you put them into a plastic fruit bag first, it usually limits the damage.
How many inches thick are your plastic fruit bags? Because the ones I've seen in our grocers wouldn't protect bananas from the footprints of a fruit fly, let alone a can.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
The plastic fruit bags are about 0.000000001" thick. But at least they keep the mashed banana in one place.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Ahh, ok.
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
I am not a technophobe - I work in the IT business. As a whole, I love technology.

I don't particularly like people, so would tend to avoid them when possible.

I avoid self-service checkouts, like the plague. I hate and loathe them, because they are so poorly designed in terms of usage, for all of the reasons above. I realise shops like them, because they can reduce staff costs, but they fundamentally don't work. They are too error prone, and frustrate customers, which is not a good thing.

I occasionally do use them when I am buying one or two items, and there are big queues. But as a rule, I will avoid them. I would rather engage with another human than use them.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
This was the last encounter I had with a checker:

Me: Do you still carry that soymilk?

Checker: Yes we do, baby, it's just been a couple days since they delivered, and we ran out.

Me: Oh, good! I didn't find any, and I though maybe y'all didn't carry it anymore.

Checker: We sure do, baby. You just get you here on Friday, because that's when they deliver next.

Me: Oh, I'm OK for now, I got a stockpile.

Checker: Stockpile! That's what you got to do, honey, you got to have a stockpile!

...Yeah, fuck the machines.

[ 14. March 2014, 07:46: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 
Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
I like self check outs as they mean I don't have to talk to anyone which for an anxious person like me is a bonus. I do however hate the expression 'unexpected item in bagging area.' It's a bit of fucking shopping which in a shop can't be that fucking unexpected unless someone has been doing this again which is arguably genuinely unexpected.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
The bananas need to go in last, on top of everything, otherwise the tins are likely to break the skin and mashed banana gets everywhere.

SEE, orfeo? [Razz]

...you're not still under the mistaken impression that I actually care, are you?
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
The plastic fruit bags are about 0.000000001" thick. But at least they keep the mashed banana in one place.

Yeah, all over that damned bagging area.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
I'll be honest, we do our "Big Shop" (a la Peter Kay!) on t'internet and have it delivered.

But I always end up going to the local Tesco's anyway, just because there's always something they can't deliver. Usually it is something obscure such as bread, or potatoes, or milk, or... you get the idea.

I always use the self-service tills because I don't like interaction with poor people, so I'm pretty much up to speed with the subtleties of the scanners.

The only problem I have is with something realy lightweight, such as a greeting card. It's too light to measure on the scales so it continually tells me to put the item scanned in the bagging area. Which I have!

So I always take something weighty such as a tin of beans with me when I'm buying something like that, and just whack that down (without scanning). The machine belives the greeting card does weigh half a kilo and carries on! Then when I've paid I just leave the tin there for a poor person to replace back on the shelf.

s'easy!

[ 14. March 2014, 09:31: Message edited by: deano ]
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
deano, if you don't like interaction with poor people why do you go to Tesco? Isn't Waitrose more your scene? Sheesh, if you aren't wearing a Barbour jacket you don't get in!
 
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :
 
(Has anybody noticed, by the way, that this thread is an absolute gift for Famous Last Posts?)
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
(Has anybody noticed, by the way, that this thread is an absolute gift for Famous Last Posts?)

Yeah, I've restrained myself a couple of times already.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I don't like interaction with poor people.

Either did Dives, and look how he ended up. Signed, Lazarus.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
But I always end up going to the local Tesco's anyway...
The only problem I have is with something realy lightweight, such as a greeting card.

Bunch of carnies from the garage and that's the wedding anniversary taken care of.
 
Posted by M. (# 3291) on :
 
Originally posted by axe wielding bunny:

quote:
quote:
Originally posted by M.:
Last Remembrance Day, Macarius and I were in a supermarket at 11 am. All through the 2 mins silence, there came the plaintive cry of 'unexpected item in bagging area'.

Don't these machines have any respect?

M.
[Snigger]

(oh forgive me.)

[Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

Oh yes, it was definitely that. You could see everyone with bowed heads trying to look very solemn and not giggle, no, no, not giggle at all.

M.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
deano, if you don't like interaction with poor people why do you go to Tesco? Isn't Waitrose more your scene? Sheesh, if you aren't wearing a Barbour jacket you don't get in!

Our nearest Waitrose is in Sheffield. There is talk of one opening in Chesterfield, but we'll just have to live in hope.

Anyway, like I said, we have delivery most often than not.

Second, our nearest supermarket is Tesco's, and I get my fuel there as well, so it's usually convenient to pop in there is we need something.

If I close my eyes and don't breathe too deeply I can usually pretend it's Waitrose there anyway.
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
I don't like interaction with poor people.

Either did Dives, and look how he ended up. Signed, Lazarus.
Obvious troll is obvious, signed me.
 
Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Bunch of carnies from the garage and that's the wedding anniversary taken care of.

That must mean something different in the UK than it does here - I doubt a bunch of these folks would do much for most people's anniversaries... [Eek!]


[edited for coding cock-up]

[ 14. March 2014, 12:22: Message edited by: jbohn ]
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
I'm British and I have no idea what a "carny from the garage" is.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
If Google could translate from supermarket jargon to plain English:

"Unexpected item in bagging area" = "this customer is trying to steal something by not scanning it"

Whereas in reality it means, "let's risk a bit of shrinkage (but not too much) because we want to replace working class people with computers".
 
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
It's particularly stupid, because surely anyone who was going to steal an item would be smart enough not to put it in the bagging area. If I wanted to steal something from a grocery store, I'd pick a high cost items like nutella or something and pack them into a purse or backpack without scanning them. It wouldn't be much more suspicious than I usually am since I usually put the things in my backpack after I buy and bag them.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I'm British and I have no idea what a "carny from the garage" is.

It's a carnivorous sandwich.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
It's particularly stupid, because surely anyone who was going to steal an item would be smart enough not to put it in the bagging area. If I wanted to steal something from a grocery store, I'd pick a high cost items like nutella or something and pack them into a purse or backpack without scanning them. It wouldn't be much more suspicious than I usually am since I usually put the things in my backpack after I buy and bag them.

Is this just the first in a series of posts on shoplifting tips, tricks and techniques, Gwai?
 
Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I'm British and I have no idea what a "carny from the garage" is.

It took me a moment, but carnies = carnations.
 
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
It's particularly stupid, because surely anyone who was going to steal an item would be smart enough not to put it in the bagging area. If I wanted to steal something from a grocery store, I'd pick a high cost items like nutella or something and pack them into a purse or backpack without scanning them. It wouldn't be much more suspicious than I usually am since I usually put the things in my backpack after I buy and bag them.

Is this just the first in a series of posts on shoplifting tips, tricks and techniques, Gwai?
Looking to learn? [Biased]
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
It's particularly stupid, because surely anyone who was going to steal an item would be smart enough not to put it in the bagging area. If I wanted to steal something from a grocery store, I'd pick a high cost items like nutella or something and pack them into a purse or backpack without scanning them. It wouldn't be much more suspicious than I usually am since I usually put the things in my backpack after I buy and bag them.

It probably harks back to the schemes that were common a few years ago of people picking up a bar-code scanner as they come into the store and scanning goods as they went (the self-scan lanes are pretty similar in technology). Everyone I knew using that scheme had shopping bags in their trolley, and everything went straight into the bags (saved on re-bagging later). It would be relatively easy to mis-scan something and put it in the bag without noticing it hadn't registered on the scanner. A mistake easily rectified if noticed before leaving the store. If, however, you mis-scan something and put it in your purse rather than the bags with the rest of the groceries it's a bit harder to explain the nutella if the security guard asks what you have in your purse.

Likewise, if you don't notice that the jar of nutella didn't scan it would go into the bag at the self-service. The scales on the bagging area allow you to rectify that before payment. Though, most times I find the "unexpected item" was scanned properly, it just isn't resting on the scales properly to come up to the right weight.
 
Posted by Trin (# 12100) on :
 
The only problem I have with those checkouts is the ambiguous queuing. It's not often a problem though because so many people are scared of them you can generally just jump straight on.

I don't know what the rest of you are doing wrong. It's pretty easy to understand what it wants from you.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
I bet we would never find out but I would like to ask the supermarkets how many people they prosecute for shoplifting these days.

I wouldn't have thought they would have accused anyone who used the self-service facilities of actually shoplifting. They would probably just point out they had accidentally not scanned something and would they like to pay for it please.

I would only expect them to prosecute if someone was obviously hiding something up their jumper or in a bag (not a supermarket-supplied carrier bag).

I reckon - and I have never done this you understand - that you could just shove a bottle of whisky or what-have-you accross the scanner, barcode facing away, and straight into your bag. You would probably get away with it as well and if you didn't it would not result in prosecution. Just a pleasant agreement that the "beep" sound is a little quiet and that will be twenty-five pounds please. Sorry for the inconvenience.

But as I say I haven't done it and would not condone it. Besides, I don't drink cheap whisky these days.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I'm British and I have no idea what a "carny from the garage" is.

It took me a moment, but carnies = carnations.
Top of the class and give out the pencils.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
If Google could translate from supermarket jargon to plain English:

"Unexpected item in bagging area" = "this customer is trying to steal something by not scanning it"

Whereas in reality it means, "let's risk a bit of shrinkage (but not too much) because we want to replace working class people with computers".

There was a news item a couple of weeks ago, saying that a very sizeable minority of self-scanners have given up trying to rectify the mistakes of the machine and just go home with the unpaid-for goods.

A slightly smaller minority actively use self-scanning to lower their grocery bill.

The big supermarkets, while not getting completely hosed on this, are taking a relatively big hit. I suppose they feel that their margins are such that it's worth it (for them).
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Cost of unpaid goods v. cost of no longer needed employees.
Food margins are typically lower than other retail goods. However the cost of one iPod is worth several customer's entire grocery purchase. So the nicked item or two does not compare to the savings of fewer employees.
The DIY with the permanent staff manning the self-check is one staff person for 6 stations. That is a considerable savings and frustration theft is not a problem due to the attendant. And I would recon regular theft at register is down same reason.

[ 14. March 2014, 15:41: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
I frequently desert a self-service checkout when it malfunctions or if there is no assistant in sight - I just remove everything back into my shopping basket and take it to a staffed checkout.

From a distance, I can watch with annoyance two assistants suddenly turn up to work out why it has clocked up some items but is deserted half way through an operation.

[ 14. March 2014, 16:06: Message edited by: leo ]
 
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
I am not sure you could steal much from the self-service checkouts, because there is always an assistant who is around checking things out. They have to be there because the system always goes wrong.

When I shop, I normally go to Londis, where they have an actual person, so I don't need to consider the self-service checkouts. I do feel sometimes that if the machine gives me an "unexpected item", then I will have to see how it deals with my arse in the bagging area.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
If Google could translate from supermarket jargon to plain English:

"Unexpected item in bagging area" = "this customer is trying to steal something by not scanning it"

Whereas in reality it means, "let's risk a bit of shrinkage (but not too much) because we want to replace working class people with computers".

There was a news item a couple of weeks ago, saying that a very sizeable minority of self-scanners have given up trying to rectify the mistakes of the machine and just go home with the unpaid-for goods.

A slightly smaller minority actively use self-scanning to lower their grocery bill.

The big supermarkets, while not getting completely hosed on this, are taking a relatively big hit. I suppose they feel that their margins are such that it's worth it (for them).

Precisely. What they loose on shrinkage they save by not paying a human being a decent living wage. It's a simple equation, if what people get away with stealing works out to be less than what it costs to pay Doris and Dave, then screw Doris and Dave.
 
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
I go to Waitrose, and I use the self scanner, because it gives me a running total and saves me lining up at the only till that does fewer than 6 items where the queue is about ten long, or the others where the trolleys are stuffed full. I still interact with a salesperson because I have a newspaper voucher, being a subscriber, and the scanner cannot cope with scanning the bar code on it.
Now and again I have a random rescan, but I don't have much on it. (I think if I did, I would get another trolley. Out of one into the other.) It is irritating when everything has been neatly packed in boxes according to a plan.

[ 14. March 2014, 16:19: Message edited by: Penny S ]
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
My particular bugbear is the bags - I find them well-nigh impossible to prise open as the two sides seem to be bonded at the molecular level, so find myself struggling to open the bag whilst "place item you have just scanned into the bagging area" is nagging me on continuous loop. [Mad]
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I'm British and I have no idea what a "carny from the garage" is.

This sounds like something from a Smiths song.
 
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
That is the carry it in your hand and scan as you go scanner. It is also useful for checking the prices of things that aren't clear - is it included in a special offer or not, for example.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
When I'm buying our Sunday evening bottle of Rioja I like the use the self-scanner. This is because the machine always says, "Approval needed" and I get to insist on speaking to the in-house Sommelier.
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
Just the other day I stopped into my local grocery store on the way home - but I hadn't planned to, so I didn't have my own bag with me. (When I do, I just wait to bag my items till I've paid.)

Here in this part of CA, they've banned those cheap thin plastic bags, and you have to pay for paper or reusable plastic. No problem, it's only a dime for a paper bag, and I need them to recycle shredded paper in. So I scanned the bag, opened it, and set it in the bagging area. Naturally, it didn't register, and asked me if I wanted to skip bagging. The lady who was working the self-check-out area was off somewhere doing Lord knows what, so I couldn't get any assistance, and it wouldn't let me proceed. So I clicked "skip bagging."

Figuring if it didn't register, I could still set it down and still bag my groceries, I placed it back in the bagging area...and the damn thing started squawking this thread title at me.

The lady working the area was still MIA, so I just held on to the bag and went on with my order, and bagged it after I paid.

But other shoppers, and the employee who had finally returned to her post, started getting involved, trying to instruct me after the fact. I was told that you have to put the bag on the scale, 'cause it knows how much it weighs. "No, it doesn't," I said, and left in a really pissy mood.
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
On the other side of this whole gripe fest is my wife, who goes out of her way to pick the longest human-run check-out line. More time to thumb through the celebrity gossip magazines.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
The bananas need to go in last, on top of everything, otherwise the tins are likely to break the skin and mashed banana gets everywhere.

SEE, orfeo? [Razz]

...I guess I have to concede that you were absolutely right, and I was being flip in a way that probably comes around to making me look kind of thick about the basic laws of physics in regards to produce. Thank you for giving me the benefit of your wisdom.
How gracious of you! No thanks necessary, just pay it forward.

[Angel]
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
My particular bugbear is the bags - I find them well-nigh impossible to prise open as the two sides seem to be bonded at the molecular level, so find myself struggling to open the bag whilst "place item you have just scanned into the bagging area" is nagging me on continuous loop. [Mad]

Aargh. Oh yes. "Please scan another item. Now. Or I will GET UPSET and I will CALL FOR THE ASSISTANT and you REALLY DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU?!?!?"

There is a knack to opening the bags that one of the checkout people showed me, but it's a bit difficult to describe.
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
Stick your finger in and gently pull?

(The same place with the woman who knew all of the codes had machines that greeted you with a "welcome valued shopper" after you scanned your discount card. Try getting that kind of greeting from a human checkout person.)
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Gently pull both top corners in opposite directions simultaneously, to stretch the bag flat, without tearing it. Then rub one corner between thumb and forefinger while the corner is still stretched. Eventually, it will slide apart.

The human checkout persons usually greet you with a cheery "'Ello, orright?" which is fine. It can be a bit disconcerting getting "How's your day been?" as I'm sure they probably don't really want to know, but I'm getting used to the "Enjoy the rest of your day" on parting, to which I always reply affably, "And you too", though being stuck on a checkout scanning barcodes for the next 6 hours wouldn't be my idea of a nice day.
 
Posted by Pulsator Organorum Ineptus (# 2515) on :
 
On one occasion, an assistant persuaded me to go through the self-service checkout on the basis that she would do the scanning for me - which she did. However, she then she seemed to expect me to pay the machine. Instead, I asked her how much I owed and, when she told me, I handed her some £20 notes and waited for her to give me my change. I thought that was wonderful.

I just wish Booth's had a store a little nearer. They haven't installed self-service checkouts, and are prepared to put enough staff on the tills that there is usually at least one waiting for the next customer. A friend of mine claims that you have to provide a testimonial from a bishop or a colonel to get a job there, and a colleague swore that the man who served her at the butchery counter used to be her bank manager.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
though being stuck on a checkout scanning barcodes for the next 6 hours wouldn't be my idea of a nice day.

A job ideally suited to a non-boreable machine.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
though being stuck on a checkout scanning barcodes for the next 6 hours wouldn't be my idea of a nice day.

A job ideally suited to a non-boreable machine.
Not in an economic climate when it's either that or skipping meals so your kids can eat.
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
My particular bugbear is the bags - I find them well-nigh impossible to prise open as the two sides seem to be bonded at the molecular level, so find myself struggling to open the bag whilst "place item you have just scanned into the bagging area" is nagging me on continuous loop. [Mad]

I estimate how many bags I will need and open them all before I begin scanning.

Moo
 
Posted by Dennis the Menace (# 11833) on :
 
We do our main shopping at the German supermarket and go to either of the other two big ones here in Oz for anything they don't carry. As it is usually just a few items I mostly use the self service. One evening after pay by credit card I looked down and saw a 20 dollar note hanging out of the cash point, I quickly snatched it up!! I did feel somewhat guilty but the attendant was hovering in the area and hadn't noticed. I did put ten dollars of it in with my weekly tithe!!
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
The human checkout persons usually greet you with a cheery "'Ello, orright?" which is fine. It can be a bit disconcerting getting "How's your day been?" as I'm sure they probably don't really want to know, but I'm getting used to the "Enjoy the rest of your day" on parting, to which I always reply affably, "And you too", though being stuck on a checkout scanning barcodes for the next 6 hours wouldn't be my idea of a nice day.

Checkout people here seem to be trained to ask "did you find everything you needed today?" Not that they have a way of recording it if you didn't, so I don't know why they bother telling them to ask you; false sense of being cared for, I guess.
 
Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :
 
I suffer from so much free floating anxiety that I can't use the self checkout lanes at all, lest I have a complete nervous breakdown. I'm not kidding, sadly. I just get too flustered with those machines always blaring out the instructions and seeming to get impatient with my fumbling attempts at compliance. Not worth the tears and rage.
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
When I'm buying our Sunday evening bottle of Rioja I like the use the self-scanner. This is because the machine always says, "Approval needed" and I get to insist on speaking to the in-house Sommelier.

Do you check with your Boss first? I am not sure he would approve of you shopping on Sunday.
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
In the absence of the wonderful Comet,
Can i just channel...

'You bunch of pathetic losers. In my world, we only scan for bears cos we want to kill and eat those fuckers before they kill and eat us first. And hrumph, an unexpected item in the bagging area. Pissweak*. We have expected items in the body-bagging areas.'

*Yes, I know- Australian, not Alaskan or Prehistoric or whatever the hell it is.

And dear Comet, [Razz] , I understand that you will make me pay for this one day soon.
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
I must say that the only time I've ever used a self scanner was in SW England. There was a cheery old gent who volunteered to help me. When it came time to pay, I just showed him a handful of change and feigned ignorance. Other than that, I think those machines can go to Hades. Only see them locally in Canada in the big box stores where they also have human beings. If my grocer installed them that would be the last time I darkened his doorstep.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
In the absence of the wonderful Comet,
Can i just channel...

'You bunch of pathetic losers. In my world, we only scan for bears cos we want to kill and eat those fuckers before they kill and eat us first. And hrumph, an unexpected item in the bagging area. Pissweak*. We have expected items in the body-bagging areas.'

*Yes, I know- Australian, not Alaskan or Prehistoric or whatever the hell it is.

And dear Comet, [Razz] , I understand that you will make me pay for this one day soon.

[Killing me]
Somewhere, a redhead has dropped her prayer beads and clenched her fists, not knowing why.


(UNLESS SHE'S PEEKING, OF COURSE! [Disappointed] )
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
And dear Comet, [Razz] , I understand that you will make me pay for this one day soon.

you have a month to live. enjoy it while you can.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
How gracious of you! No thanks necessary, just pay it forward.

[Angel]

What do you know about bananas, anyway? You can't even pronounce them properly.
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
Checkout people here seem to be trained to ask "did you find everything you needed today?" Not that they have a way of recording it if you didn't, so I don't know why they bother telling them to ask you; false sense of being cared for, I guess.

I've always assumed they ask so that they can tell you that the widgets or whatever are in aisle sixteen. In better times, they'd send the bagger to aisle sixteen to get the widgets for you.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
Checkout people here seem to be trained to ask "did you find everything you needed today?" Not that they have a way of recording it if you didn't, so I don't know why they bother telling them to ask you; false sense of being cared for, I guess.

I've always assumed they ask so that they can tell you that the widgets or whatever are in aisle sixteen. In better times, they'd send the bagger to aisle sixteen to get the widgets for you.
Yes, the bagger. We don't generally have baggers here in the UK. That gets left to cub-scout doing fundraising. I mean, why demean an adult when you get children to do the very most menial of tasks?
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Good God, dude, you make Ebenezer Scrooge look like a hippie. Fuck you, being a bagger is demeaning. Fuck you, Get the Boy Scouts to lower themselves. I bet the average Boy Scout could kick your ass bloody, but he won't because helping some old lady with her bags is a much more noble, honorable thing to do.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Good God, dude, you make Ebenezer Scrooge look like a hippie. Fuck you, being a bagger is demeaning. Fuck you, Get the Boy Scouts to lower themselves. I bet the average Boy Scout could kick your ass bloody, but he won't because helping some old lady with her bags is a much more noble, honorable thing to do.

My kids are those cub-scouts. At Christmas they did three consecutive six hour days and youngest is only eight. Tesco paid me for them by bank transfer to an offshore account. I've been sworn to secrecy because child labour is illegal here in the UK apparently....Oh. Oops.
 
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
Checkout people here seem to be trained to ask "did you find everything you needed today?" Not that they have a way of recording it if you didn't, so I don't know why they bother telling them to ask you; false sense of being cared for, I guess.

I've always assumed they ask so that they can tell you that the widgets or whatever are in aisle sixteen. In better times, they'd send the bagger to aisle sixteen to get the widgets for you.
In my country town, an assistant is called from (presumeably on high) to fetch items e.g. where a bag of flour is leaking, and must be replaced. But DM probably has them heading for the tall timber rather than approach... they not being loaded for clerics.
[Snigger]
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I've always assumed they ask so that they can tell you that the widgets or whatever are in aisle sixteen. In better times, they'd send the bagger to aisle sixteen to get the widgets for you.

Back when they actually had baggers. Sigh.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Good God, dude, you make Ebenezer Scrooge look like a hippie. Fuck you, being a bagger is demeaning. Fuck you, Get the Boy Scouts to lower themselves. I bet the average Boy Scout could kick your ass bloody, but he won't because helping some old lady with her bags is a much more noble, honorable thing to do.

Either he only shops twice a year or he is trolling. No points for guessing which. I'll give DM this, unlike some of the other knobs we have here, DM has 2 hats. Today he is deano Jr.
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
Checkout assistants who bag everything are a nuisance - it slows the system down (unless it is an elderly person or one of those idiots who stand there and watch everything before starting to pack, after which they can't find their purse) and they have a habit of putting fragile articles, like eggs, in first before bottles.

Here's a tip for the dishonest - someone who is really poor told me that he regularly looks at the self-service checkouts and finds change that hasn't been collected. On Thursday, he got £15 in notes and a few coins. Not back when all he purchased was a pint of semi-skimmed milk.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Checkout assistants who bag everything are a nuisance - it slows the system down

What do you want them to do, leave it on the counter so you can carry out the unbagged items in your arms?
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Checkout assistants who bag everything are a nuisance

Why don't you just politely thank them for their offer of help, but please don't worry about packing anything for you?

(That way you won't get your bananas smashed.)
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Checkout assistants who bag everything are a nuisance - it slows the system down

What do you want them to do, leave it on the counter so you can carry out the unbagged items in your arms?
No pack it myself.

I already have my bag(s) open and ready, my nectar card and credit card to hand - i do that whilst still in the queue.
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Checkout assistants who bag everything are a nuisance

Why don't you just politely thank them for their offer of help, but please don't worry about packing anything for you?

(That way you won't get your bananas smashed.)

I do. And as for the boy scouts in uniform who want to to do it, I am not going to donate to a paramilitary organisation. Maybe if it was the Woodcraft Folk....
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Checkout assistants who bag everything are a nuisance - it slows the system down

What do you want them to do, leave it on the counter so you can carry out the unbagged items in your arms?
I share your pain. I mean, without the servants who's going to mow the lawn?
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Please don't get him started, otherwise before we know it he'll be listing al the apparently anti Semitic hymns in the English Hymnal
 
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :
 
I have heard that the predecessors of the Brownies were called Rosebuds. [Projectile]
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Please don't get him started, otherwise before we know it he'll be listing al the apparently anti Semitic hymns in the English Hymnal
If you want.

I can also do Hymns Ancient & Modern, protestant though it is.

Be careful what you wish for.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
I have heard that the predecessors of the Brownies were called Rosebuds. [Projectile]

An obvious hotbed of militancy, brainwashing and political radicalism.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
I would have thought a paramilitary organisation lurking around the supermarket would be the PERFECT place for leo to unload any of those evil warmongering 2 pound Kitchener coins that he receives in his change.

Two unique leo 'problems' solved in one fell stroke.
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
So, the kids who pack my bags for pennies at Christmas are actually brutalised child soldiers being held captive by local crime Barons impersonating Jungle Book characters? OK.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
Wow, the Scouts a paramilitary organization? I never met a bigger bunch of tree-hugging liberal hippie freaks than when I worked at Scout camps. Teach kids to lead, teach them to take action, teach them to give a shit about their worlds and communities, and, surprise surprise, they do.
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
You really ARE a bitter, ignorant sod, aren't you?
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
You really ARE a bitter, ignorant sod, aren't you?
Hey, now! He likes Muslims.
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
Just because I got my rifle cleaning and water boarding badges...
Say have any of you seen the ninja scouts?
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
You really ARE a bitter, ignorant sod, aren't you?
Hey, now! He likes Muslims.
Only because none of them have met him.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Check-outs eh? If it's not idiotic, badly-designed technology, it's bloody paramilitaries mulching your bananas in the hopes you'll throw a bit of loose change in their plastic buckets (why can't they fund themselves by drug-dealing and extortion like everyone else?)
 
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
To be fair to leo, Baden-Powell was specifically interested in generating military scouts - though they developed some distance from the original concept.

The child soldiers would be cadets. You do get them bagging sometimes.
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
I've seen Baden-Powell's grave. Its in the middle of a road, opposite the post office.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
To be fair to leo, Baden-Powell was specifically interested in generating military scouts - though they developed some distance from the original concept.

Yes, a bit like how that obscure Jewish sect, the 'Christians', developed a bit from the original concept.

Oh wait, this is leo's mind we're delving into. Silly me.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

Oh wait, this is leo's mind we're delving into. Silly me.

How can you delve in something that shallow?
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
Leo's next post will be his 20,000th. I'm really looking forward to something profound that will encapsulate his world-view.
 
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :
 
We have one local grocery store where, to my best recollection, I have never successfully operated the self checkout machines. There is always some reason why an attendant has to come and help. I suspect that many others have the same issue as the self checkout machines are largely deserted even when the cashier lines are long.

I'm not sure why the machines appear to be acting in such a mischievous manner; except that perhaps they get bored humming along with computer brains and only the occasional can of crushed tomatoes to keep them company.

At our other local grocery there is always a line at the self checkout area. In fact, it is usually longer to go there than to go to a cashier. Unless I am in a hurry I try to go to the self checkout area because it is quite entertaining. I get to watch the LOP's (Little Old People) put items on the scale and then in their cart at a slow and deliberate pace; meaning I also get to watch younger people twitch in gestures of impatience, or text furiously on their social media devices to kill time. I get to watch parents of young children split their time between checking out and grabbing the candy and gum their children have found conveniently located within reach on the self checkout shelves. At certain times of day I get to watch bleary eyed people try to figure out how to check out their snackage through a chemically induced fog without appearing to be impaired. I even get to see visibly intoxicated guys try to balance while attempting to buy a 12 pack.

And when it is my turn I realize that I am paying the consuming public back for the show they put on for me by putting on a show for them as the voice of the checkout machine chides me about whatever silly thing I have done and I actually try to communicate back to the machine by speaking to it.

YMMV. My experience is that having a sense of humor about myself makes self checkout experiences much more enjoyable.
 
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
Leo's next post will be his 20,000th. I'm really looking forward to something profound that will encapsulate his world-view.

Well, in Heaven he has already bitched about people enjoying their church coffee hours. I think that says volumes.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
Leo's next post will be his 20,000th. I'm really looking forward to something profound that will encapsulate his world-view.

Well, in Heaven he has already bitched about people enjoying their church coffee hours. I think that says volumes.
He's snarling on the World Poetry Day thread too, describing poetry as "Arty-Farty". Has the guy never read "The Ballad of Eskimo Nell?" Definitely NSFW, so I won't even provide a link.
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
I was going to be charitable along the lines of the Churchill riposte of tomorrow he'll be sober, but leo's already back charming all on the Coffee Snacks thread with an admission he only goes if there's booze on offer, which suggests he either never sobers up or he really is a curmudgeonly git.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
That was leo's 20,000th post! What a gift to us all.
 
Posted by basso (# 4228) on :
 
Speaking of scouts roaming the checkout areas - around here it's Girl Scouts, and they tackle you outside the store and sell you cookies.

Since the right wing has started ranting about GSA, I consider it an obligation to buy as many cookies as I can during the season.
If I gain five pounds this Lent (why do they always sell cookies during Lent, anyway?) it'll be the Tea Party's fault.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
I don't understand the hostility toward service jobs that is represented by Daronmedway's comment and leo's attitude toward bagging, and some others. Stores are devolving their services on their customers -- making us do more and more of the work that stores used to do for us.

How much of that are you willing to put up with? You're clearly giddy that you get to do the work of the bagger for the store. We've long since been carrying our groceries to our cars. Now they want us to scan our own groceries. Will you be happy when you are required to stock shelves for an hour --without pay-- before you can buy anything? "Self-service" is a way for companies to hire and pay fewer people, and outsource the work they used to perform to their customers. The result is fewer employed people, and customers becoming unpaid employees of the businesses that are supposed to be serving them.
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
But presumably this process started when supermarkets were created? You used to stand at a shop counter and ask the clerk behind it for the items you wanted. Now you have to find the items themselves.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
But presumably this process started when supermarkets were created? You used to stand at a shop counter and ask the clerk behind it for the items you wanted. Now you have to find the items themselves.

I actually thought of that when I was halfway through my screed but was too lazy to go back and add it in. I can see the logic of having us find our own items, inasmuch as the old Dry Good store model can't serve the number of people that a supermarket does, and our population centers have grown such that it's no longer a viable model.

I'm not sure having us bag our own groceries is in the same ballpark. It doesn't create a chokepoint in the grocery-buying experience (for lack of a better term) to have one more employee stuffing things into bags. And real cashiers can far better work machines they have been professionally trained to work than hapless and harried customers. If the checkout lines are too long and make the self-check seem like a time-saving option, that rather supports my argument than the oppositions -- we need more employees, not fewer, at the grocery store.
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
That was leo's 20,000th post! What a gift to us all.

Wow - too many posts - must get out more - perhaps to do some shopping and place some unexpected items in the bagging area.
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
posted by Anglican't
quote:
You used to stand at a shop counter and ask the clerk behind it for the items you wanted.
Or you were fortunate to have either a Home & Colonial or International Stores branch. They had order forms (yellow IMMC) which listed all sorts of staples and you filled in what you wanted, how much, etc. Turn-round time was 24 hours: if you got the form in by closing on a Thursday, the order arrived on Friday afternoon - ours came via a boy on a bike with a massive basket on the front.

You settled the bill the next time you were in the shop, or you had an account that they sent out once a month.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
Stop whinging about self-service checkouts redusing jobs. Yes of course they are.

Any kind of simple, repeatable manual process is game for automation.

Why pick on self-service checkouts? What about self-service petrol stations, or library check in and out, or self-check in for flights.

It's inevitable and wont stop I'm afraid. People have to realise that these jobs are temporary. Again it comes down to lack of education and qualifications. Get a better education, work harder at school, and you will end up with a better more secure job.

Fuck up your school life and you will fuck up the rest of your life.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
You hear this rubbish from those who spin in clockwise circles, but what would happen if everyone made the most of education and opportunity?
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
You hear this rubbish from those who spin in clockwise circles, but what would happen if everyone made the most of education and opportunity?

Enough of these smug bastards already exist to make everyone's life a misery, including, in the long term, their own.
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
Since the right wing has started ranting about GSA, I consider it an obligation to buy as many cookies as I can during the season.
If I gain five pounds this Lent (why do they always sell cookies during Lent, anyway?) it'll be the Tea Party's fault.

Whatever you gotta do to justify buying the cookies. For me the fact that it is a fund raiser is usually enough justification, but I don't get cable news, so it's very hard keeping up with what I should be outraged by this week.
 
Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Any kind of simple, repeatable manual process is game for automation.

Actually, I'm not sure that the manual processes don't resist automation rather better than the intellectual ones...
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
You hear this rubbish from those who spin in clockwise circles, but what would happen if everyone made the most of education and opportunity?

Jobs would magically drop out of the clouds and we'd all be employed.

Either that or they'd find some other, even more arbitrary, way to exclude people, and we'd all be chided for not jumping through that hoop.
 
Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
Since the right wing has started ranting about GSA,

You know you've been hanging out on Ship of Fools too long when you're trying to work out how "G" fits in with "substitutionary atonement"...
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
real cashiers can far better work machines they have been professionally trained to work than hapless and harried customers.

Professionally trained? 10 minute orientation, and then if your lucky they work the till with someone standing at their shoulder until they pick it up. Perhaps I should set up a training company, I could make a fortune supply training for checkout operators: "take the can, pass the barcode over the scanner, repeat with next item" - there's your certificate in checkout operation, that will be £500 Mr Supermarket Manager. Advanced checkout operation, including how to push the "next customer" marker up the slide beside the conveyor, that'll be £1000.

[ 16. March 2014, 20:49: Message edited by: Alan Cresswell ]
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
I always try to pick a checkout with a middle aged lady – then I know that there is a fighting chance she will pack a bag properly. She has spent half a lifetime doing it.

The last time I went to one of the young men, I had a 2Kg bag of potatoes packed on top of 2 loaves of bread, the bread was unusable when I got it home. And yes I have had the banana mush situation too.

When they have the charity bag packers , I tend to pay them to leave my shopping alone, apart from tins, as they will have difficulty damaging them..
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Anyone tries to come between me and my packing, they die horribly. Bottles and cartons - in the bottle bags: tins, packs, boxed items in the hessian bags: meat, cheeses, yoghurts, desserts in the lighter carriers: heavy veg in the big plastic: fruit and salad in the topmost bags.
 
Posted by Ann (# 94) on :
 
I use a set of boxes from when the supermarkets experimented with cutting down on bags) and live nearish the RMA Sandhurst.

A while ago the young officers were raising money for one of the army charities by bagging and the two charming lads at the checkout triumphantly looked up from the boxes they'd filled for me, only to see a good quarter of my shopping still on the belt. I politely informed them that I'd had all the stuff in the boxes before I got to the till and invited them to try again. It only took them four goes! Good thing I wasn't in a hurry that day.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
I always try to pick a checkout with a middle aged lady – then I know that there is a fighting chance she will pack a bag properly. She has spent half a lifetime doing it.

And there is a good chance they'll call you "baby" or "honey", too. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I can see the logic of having us find our own items, inasmuch as the old Dry Good store model can't serve the number of people that a supermarket does, and our population centers have grown such that it's no longer a viable model.

[..snip..]

If the checkout lines are too long and make the self-check seem like a time-saving option, that rather supports my argument than the oppositions -- we need more employees, not fewer, at the grocery store.

But this is the same argument. It would be quite possible to serve the number of people served in a supermarket in an over-the-counter setup, but it would take a huge number of staff. But nobody is prepared to pay for Grace Brothers any more. It's much, much, cheaper to do self-service, and of course people like to squeeze their own melons.

Do you want checkout operators or cheaper groceries? That is, ultimately, the question. At the moment, most people want checkout operators and, apparently, baggers.
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
There seems to be a pond difference here. I don't remember ever seeing baggers in UK supermarkets
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
It used to be a regular thing. Nowadays you pretty much bag your own stuff unless somebody happens to be free and decides to run by and bag stuff. Least around here.

When I went to Sainsbury's for the first time in Southsea, the cashier gruffly told me I would have to bag my own items because English folk didn't need the coddling Americans did, and I stopped what I was doing-- which was bagging up my stuff- told him I always did,and asked him if he missed my hand already in the bag.


(Most of the cashiers were lovely, though-- I was everyone's "love" in Southsea.)
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
There seems to be a pond difference here. I don't remember ever seeing baggers in UK supermarkets

I was thinking it went the other way.

But at our supermarket, the cashier puts the grox directly into bags after scanning them, setting aside squishy stuff to make sure it goes on the bottom of the next bag (just kidding) (usually). The groceries never get anywhere near where I can grab them until the cashier sets a full bag in the cart/trolley. I can't really see how it's a lot less efficient than throwing them onto a counter behind her (it's usually her) where I can grab them and bag them. Might add a whole 20 seconds to the whole experience, maybe even 40.
 
Posted by Niteowl (# 15841) on :
 
There is one supermarket chain here (with one conveniently up the street from me) that still has both cashiers and baggers. The baggers offer to put the groceries in your car for you as well. Prices are about the same, if not a little lower, than the other chains. This store also is the first one to settle any pending labor disputes and during one of the last major strikes was running fully staffed with no picketers annoying shoppers.
 
Posted by Anglican_Brat (# 12349) on :
 
The Church should think about having a self-serve option:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgmQM9cDPHk
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
posted by Leorning Cniht
quote:
...people like to squeeze their own melons.
Why would anyone want to squeeze a melon? It won't tell you whether or not the melon is ripe, only bruise the flesh underneath.

Ripeness is indicated by sniffing the end where the melon has been cut from the plant - if it smells of the fruit its ready to eat.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Sorry to backtrack, but this keeps bugging me.
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
My kids are those cub-scouts. At Christmas they did three consecutive six hour days and youngest is only eight. Tesco paid me for them by bank transfer to an offshore account. I've been sworn to secrecy because child labour is illegal here in the UK apparently....Oh. Oops.

Ok, here's a suggestion: gather your kids and tell them, "I just wrote the wittiest, most impressive thing on Ship of Fools, about Cub Scouts bagging for tips at supermarkets. here, listen to this:
'I mean, why demean an adult when you get children to do the very most menial of tasks?'
Isn't that a scream?" [Yipee]

But before you do, stop and consider-- they probably already have learned a great deal about ropes, knots and knives.

Child labour laws, my foot.
 
Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
There seems to be a pond difference here. I don't remember ever seeing baggers in UK supermarkets

We are asked if we would like help with bagging every single time we go to Tesco, even if we've only bought a carton of milk and a newspaper. I've never heard anyone say yes, they would like help.

We have the charity baggers fairly regularly. A bagging session can net several hundred pounds for whichever school trip etc it's for, much of it from people paying the baggers not to bag!
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
There seems to be a pond difference here. I don't remember ever seeing baggers in UK supermarkets

I was thinking it went the other way.

But at our supermarket, the cashier puts the grox directly into bags after scanning them, setting aside squishy stuff to make sure it goes on the bottom of the next bag (just kidding) (usually). The groceries never get anywhere near where I can grab them until the cashier sets a full bag in the cart/trolley. I can't really see how it's a lot less efficient than throwing them onto a counter behind her (it's usually her) where I can grab them and bag them. Might add a whole 20 seconds to the whole experience, maybe even 40.

But that's where you've got to have a system. Make sure all the hard-packaged and heavy items go on the conveyor first, then slowly work up to the lighter, more breakable groceries. Dairy goes on second to last (lighter items first, milk last), and finally the meat, which gets its own bag.

Also, collapsible stacking crates FTW. Three fit width ways in the boot of the car, and I don't have any bags to worry about falling over on the way home. Easier to carry to the house, and easier to empty when I get them into the kitchen.
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
There seems to be a pond difference here. I don't remember ever seeing baggers in UK supermarkets

In both my local uk supermarket chains the cashiers say 'do you need any help with packing' or 'shall i start packing for you'

As i usually have a full trolly family shop, they have got quite a lot of packing done, before i finish emptying the trolly and take over the packing.
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Paying someone to bag my shopping for me? Sure, and while we're at it why not pay someone to wipe my ass after I'm done shitting?
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Paying someone to bag my shopping for me? Sure, and while we're at it why not pay someone to wipe my ass after I'm done shitting?

One day Marvin, one day .......
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
Stupid self-wipers, keeping honest working class people out of work.
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
Folders get what they deserve.
 
Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Originally posted by Doc Tor:

quote:
But that's where you've got to have a system. Make sure all the hard-packaged and heavy items go on the conveyor first, then slowly work up to the lighter, more breakable groceries. Dairy goes on second to last (lighter items first, milk last), and finally the meat, which gets its own bag.
I do have a system - everything which will be unpacked into the cupboards on the south side of my kitchen into one bag, everything which will be unpacked into the cupboards on the east side into another bag, stuff for the fridge into another bag, stuff for the kitchen freezer into another bag, stuff for the freezer in the garage into another bag, stuff destined for the shower-room upstairs gets its own bag....

Unfortunately this splendid system - so efficient when I get home - isn't intuitively obvious to bag-packers.
 
Posted by deano (# 12063) on :
 
Why do you suppose we keep our paramilitary stormtroopers inside supermarkets? It's so when the proletariat workers rise up against the self-scanning bourgoisie, the scouts will suddenly pull out their hidden Heckler and Koch MP10's and swiftly put down the revolution before it even begins.

Hah! Even now we are one step ahead of you. You will work until we tell you to stop, then you will DIE!!!!
 
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
We are asked if we would like help with bagging every single time we go to Tesco, even if we've only bought a carton of milk and a newspaper. I've never heard anyone say yes, they would like help.

I once said yes, not in Tesco, but in one of the other big supermarkets. I was completely exhausted, had an overflowing trolley and a queue behind me, and I knew I was going to start holding things up. The cashier looked at me as though I'd answered in Serbo Croat, and absolutely nothing happened.

quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
We have the charity baggers fairly regularly. A bagging session can net several hundred pounds for whichever school trip etc it's for, much of it from people paying the baggers not to bag!

Ah - I'm glad I'm not the only person who (with a friendly smile) says 'I'll pay you if you don't pack my items.'

quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
I do have a system - everything which will be unpacked into the cupboards on the south side of my kitchen into one bag, everything which will be unpacked into the cupboards on the east side into another bag, stuff for the fridge into another bag, stuff for the kitchen freezer into another bag, stuff for the freezer in the garage into another bag, stuff destined for the shower-room upstairs gets its own bag....

Unfortunately this splendid system - so efficient when I get home - isn't intuitively obvious to bag-packers.

... and this is why! I don't just have a bag of frozen food, but a bag of food that is going to go into the outside freezer (as opposed to the fridge-freezer), some of which might not yet be frozen. If I can get my shopping packed this way I will save myself a great deal of time and effort later, but nobody, not even my husband, can do it for me.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Why do you suppose we keep our paramilitary stormtroopers inside supermarkets? It's so when the proletariat workers rise up against the self-scanning bourgoisie, the scouts will suddenly pull out their hidden Heckler and Koch MP10's and swiftly put down the revolution before it even begins.

Hah! Even now we are one step ahead of you. You will work until we tell you to stop, then you will DIE!!!!

In which case my son and his mates form the Fifth Column of Young Pioneers.

Up the workers!
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
The cashier looked at me as though I'd answered in Serbo Croat, and absolutely nothing happened.

Perhaps that was the problem: you didn't answer in Serbo Croat. If you had, things would have probably moved much more quickly ...

[ 17. March 2014, 10:47: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
Years ago one of my daughters had a summer job bagging groceries. The cashier rang things up, and then they moved down to her. She learned to size up not only the items that had already come to her, but also the ones that were to come. She could then figure out how many heavy items and how many fragile ones she had to deal with.

Around here the supermarkets still have baggers except when you go through the self-checkout.

Moo
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
Yeah, right, cos my eldest son really enjoys kneecapping and murdering people on his Tuesday evenings out. [Mad]

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you ignorant tosser.
 
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
What nonsense.

A friend of mine used to say the same - her boys missed out on a wonderful organisation (the BB) and many memorable times. All their other friends joined and they were left out.

Back to the subject - I often say 'yes' to the offer of help with packing if I have a lot of stuff - it speeds up the process if there's a queue.

[ 17. March 2014, 12:09: Message edited by: Boogie ]
 
Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
Yeah, right, cos my eldest son really enjoys kneecapping and murdering people on his Tuesday evenings out. [Mad]

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you ignorant tosser.

What Matt said. Go pound sand, leo.

Signed,
A Proud Eagle Scout
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
I've always referred to the Guides and Scouts as the paramilitaries.

Didn't stop my kids from joining. I'm even the treasurer for Miss Tor's Guide unit.

They have uniforms, they parade, they salute... it's a soft form of paramilitarism, but Scouts certainly served as an adjunct to the military in WWII. Knickers untwisted, please.
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
Thank you but no. Children in uniform are most certainly not paramilitaries. That would render all my children such as they all wear school uniform. Like I said, when they start carrying weapons and perpetrating assassinations (or when the Real IRA start helping to pack bags in Tescos), then you and Leo might have a point. Until then, STFU with your offensive bullshit 'comparison' (we used to get called the Hitler Youth if that 'helps' you to understand my anger a bit more.)

[ 17. March 2014, 15:10: Message edited by: Matt Black ]
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
Yeah, spare me the Daily Mail version of the world and try looking up 'paramilitary' in a dictionary some time. You also might want to take a look at a few history books where Scouts manned fire watch stations and plane spotter patrols as part of the war effort.

Hands up who's had to routinely bounce the suspension on their car to check for tilt-switch bombs?

*puts hand up*
*looks around*

Back in your box, boyo.

[ 17. March 2014, 16:06: Message edited by: Doc Tor ]
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
[Snore] That might have been then, this is now, when 'paramilitary' = thugs in balaclavas who dole out punishment beatings in Northern Ireland or who surround Ukrainian army barracks with menaces and Kalashnikovs.

Not back in my box that easily...
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
leo, are you really saying that the boy scouts are a "paramilitary organisation"?

Yes.
LMBFAO.

From a guy who wears a uniform that is awesome.

"This is my blue ninja sash, this was handed to me to prove in a sermon I can remove your will to live at thirty paces, we are the deadly blue sashed meanies, we came from the 60's, still pissed off that THEY had more fun than us."

Leo, my hero for today.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
[Snore] That might have been then, this is now, when 'paramilitary' = thugs in balaclavas who dole out punishment beatings in Northern Ireland or who surround Ukrainian army barracks with menaces and Kalashnikovs.

Not back in my box that easily...

Then get upset with the dictionary, or the states that have used Scouts as paramilitaries, not people who jokingly (or otherwise) call the uniformed organisations "paramilitaries".
 
Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :
 
The only people with whom I'm upset and angry are those who use the same term to describe my kids as that used to describe Northern Irish terrorists.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Oh bugger it.
One, it upset you initially because Leo said it.
Two, because he might have meant it that way does not mean anyone else here does.
Three,
Uniforms? Check
Learn to obey? Check
Chain of command? Check
Swear oaths of allegiance? Check
This is not saying the scouts are used now in such a militaristic fashion, but as it has been pointed out, they have been. And that is why Baden Powell set them up.
 
Posted by MarsmanTJ (# 8689) on :
 
My grandmother had a solution to charity baggers. She would pay them to unload her trolley that was too deep for her to lean into without overbalancing, and she would load her bags and pay. She thought that was a win-win.

[ 17. March 2014, 16:59: Message edited by: MarsmanTJ ]
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
I've always referred to the Guides and Scouts as the paramilitaries.

Didn't stop my kids from joining. I'm even the treasurer for Miss Tor's Guide unit.

They have uniforms, they parade, they salute... it's a soft form of paramilitarism, but Scouts certainly served as an adjunct to the military in WWII. Knickers untwisted, please.

The St John Ambulance Brigade Cadets have uniforms, drills and salutes. They even have ranks like Corporal and Sergeant but I don't think they could be described as paramilitary
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Yeah, spare me the Daily Mail version of the world and try looking up 'paramilitary' in a dictionary some time. You also might want to take a look at a few history books where Scouts manned fire watch stations and plane spotter patrols as part of the war effort.

Hands up who's had to routinely bounce the suspension on their car to check for tilt-switch bombs?

*puts hand up*
*looks around*

Back in your box, boyo.

Debating by dictionary is so fourth form DocTor, you should know that. [Disappointed]

For further information just about everyone played their part in the war effort, uniformed or not. Boy Scouts were also "runners", used when lines of communication were cut. Even pacifists were involved, in first aid, fire fighting and the amazingly dangerous work of getting people out of bombed buildings.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
The St John Ambulance Brigade Cadets have uniforms, drills and salutes. They even have ranks like Corporal and Sergeant but I don't think they could be described as paramilitary

Don't forget the Salvation Army.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
*sigh* I swore I wouldn't get involved in this tangent, swore up and down on a stack of Bibles—so much for that…

Yes, the Scouts have aspects of a paramilitary organization. Yes, Baden-Powell started the organization after boys started reading his book on military scouting—as an alternative to military drill, granted, but based on some of the same precepts. Yes, the military does like to recruit from Scouts, and yes, there were a few weekend camping trips that were hosted on Army and Air Force bases, courtesy Uncle Sam. Until recently, the BSA National Jamboree was held on an Army base, and if you think every branch of the service wasn't bringing out their recruiting divisions, choirs, bands, parachute teams, jet overflights, helicopters, and every other impressive thing to show off in front of what they saw as 40,000 good potential recruits, it's because you were too busy checking out the tanks and artillery they brought as well.

Oh yeah. The adults sure viewed it as military prep or something like it—a good chance to imbue the Future Leaders of Tomorrow with the Values they'd need to Keep America Strong against all threats. And, to be honest, the BSA has produced its share of generals, conservative politicians, and others of that ilk.

Of course, Michael Moore, Alfred Kinsey, Michael Dukakis, and Dennis Kucinich are just as much Eagle scouts as William Westmoreland, Gerald Ford, Donald Rumsfeld, and Rick Perry; lessons in leadership and meaningful experiences transcend all party lines. Scouting in America traces its origins not just to Baden-Powell, but to the sensitive Romanitic Ernest Thompson Seton and the artistically inclined Daniel Carter Beard, who were reacting to the drill-and-dogma youth organizations of their day. There has always been a tension in Scouting between those, usually adults, who want to turn the organization into a paramilitary organization with a top-down hierarchical structure, marching, and lessons in Proper Values, and those who want to emphasize the bottom-up, youth-lead model based primarily around small groups, the outdoor and wilderness experiences, and teaching about the value of the world we live in. The youth, of course, usually just want to set shit on fire, climb the nearest mountain by the least logical route possible (unprotected up a cliff is the usual preference), and deep fry everything in bacon grease for dinner.

So, much as there are those who imagine strapping young men in crisply pressed uniforms standing at attention when called and marching to orders without a homosexual to be found—as credit or detriment to the organization—the reality is usually that everyone's slouching a bit, nobody's uniforms match, the youth in charge really wishes the obnoxious kid in the third row would just shut up already, nobody really cares if anyone else is gay, and everyone's fingering their matches.

[ 17. March 2014, 18:33: Message edited by: Ariston ]
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
*sigh* I swore I wouldn't get involved in this tangent, swore up and down on a stack of Bibles—so much for that…

Yep. Leo, I saw this today and thought of you.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Thank you Ariston. Your long-winde..., erm, comprehensive post is what I, and I think Doc Tor, meant.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
From that link:
quote:
Royal Mail's own regiment, the Post Office Rifles
. Postmen wear a uniform, get up early in the morning, walk long distances in whatever weather ... and have their own Rifle Company. Definitely a paramilitary organisation!
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Boy Scouts
Military
Postman
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
Don't you mean Postman?
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
The only people with whom I'm upset and angry are those who use the same term to describe my kids as that used to describe Northern Irish terrorists.

Since I don't call the IRA, UVF et al paramilitaries (I prefer 'murdering thugs'), I guess I'm in the clear.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Debating by dictionary is so fourth form DocTor, you should know that. [Disappointed]

[Razz]

quote:
For further information just about everyone played their part in the war effort, uniformed or not. Boy Scouts were also "runners", used when lines of communication were cut. Even pacifists were involved, in first aid, fire fighting and the amazingly dangerous work of getting people out of bombed buildings.
I am not unaware of that. However, the Scout's own website boasts:
quote:
there were 53,000 Scouts trained to undertake over hundred and seventy National War Service jobs by the end of 1940
I've also sat through more than enough Church and Remembrance parades to enable me to ponder on the quasi-militaristic trappings of Scouts, which is something I don't recall from watching the St. John's Ambulance, the RNLI or my local postie. Master Tor seems to hold those things lightly, and as Ariston suggests, is more interested in setting stuff on fire and yomping up mountains.

[ 17. March 2014, 19:24: Message edited by: Doc Tor ]
 
Posted by A.Pilgrim (# 15044) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
posted by Anglican't
quote:
You used to stand at a shop counter and ask the clerk behind it for the items you wanted.
Or you were fortunate to have either a Home & Colonial or International Stores branch. They had order forms (yellow IMMC) which listed all sorts of staples and you filled in what you wanted, how much, etc. Turn-round time was 24 hours: if you got the form in by closing on a Thursday, the order arrived on Friday afternoon - ours came via a boy on a bike with a massive basket on the front.

You settled the bill the next time you were in the shop, or you had an account that they sent out once a month.

Around here you can do very much the same thing - fill in a form online, and the next day a little van delivers the stuff to your door. It's called internet shopping. Though nowadays you have to be rather more up-front with the payment.
Angus
 
Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
*sigh* I swore I wouldn't get involved in this tangent, swore up and down on a stack of Bibles—so much for that…

Yep. Leo, I saw this today and thought of you.
leo is far too holy for a Private Tickle.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
The only people with whom I'm upset and angry are those who use the same term to describe my kids as that used to describe Northern Irish terrorists.

Since I don't call the IRA, UVF et al paramilitaries (I prefer 'murdering thugs'), I guess I'm in the clear.
You may not be aware of this, but in the UK the most common use of the word "paramilitary" will be in reference to the murdering thugs in Northern Ireland.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Until a usage is thoroughly displaced, its proper usage should not be discarded.
We have many words which context determines meaning. In Doc Tor's case, no context is needed as he has given explanation.

ETA: Doc Tor is in the UK.

[ 17. March 2014, 20:00: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
But, leo didn't give any context. Just a statement that uniformed youth organisations are paramilitaries. Which, when the most common use of the word where he is is in reference to criminal thugs in Northern Ireland, is a deeply offensive thing to say to anyone involved in those organisations. And, as it was leo - who seems to go out of his way to either cause offence or be offended - was it an unreasonable interpretation?

I still hold that in most of the UK "paramilitary" is a word that is so associated with criminal thugs in Northern Ireland it has lost any other meaning. At best, "paramilitary" could be applied to armed police units or armed militia. Which, of course, still wouldn't apply to Scouts - unless they've been armed with something more than a penknife recently without me noticing.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Ah, but they can do with that pen knife.
As far as leo, I think you have the right of it.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Oh bugger it.
One, it upset you initially because Leo said it.
Two, because he might have meant it that way does not mean anyone else here does.
Three,
Uniforms? Check
Learn to obey? Check
Chain of command? Check
Swear oaths of allegiance? Check
This is not saying the scouts are used now in such a militaristic fashion, but as it has been pointed out, they have been. And that is why Baden Powell set them up.

And I'm with Matt. Have you seen a school lately? Your checklist works fine with some of them, too.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
I'm not speaking for leo - AFAICT we disagree on lots of things, and if he refers to the Scouts and Guides as paramilitaries because he believes them to be on a par with the IRA, then he's a grade one muppet.

However, you - and I'm referring to those who seem to have their big girl panties in the wash - have to be both wilfully blind and stupid not to see that (especially) Scouts have a considerable tradition that is quasi-militaristic, a ceremonial function at state occasions that lends support to our military forces, in times of war operates as an arm of the state, and is seen as a particularly tempting recruiting ground for our armed services.

If none of that gives you any pause for thought, fair enough. It certainly flags up one or two issues for me, and I make sure that I talk them over with my son. For sure, there are one or two Scout leaders in my district who seem to think that Scouting is the Army but with different badges.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
Uniformed youth organisations are quasi-militaristic. Yes, of course they can be. Probably depends a lot on the local leadership how much a particular group goes for parades with flags and the like, or just mucking about in the woods trying to light a fire with two sticks.

But, even at the most extreme they fall a long way short of a paramilitary organisation - no official role supporting the military (yes, lots of Scouts have done that in time of war, but correct me if I'm wrong was that ever done at the insistence and under the command of the military or on a purely voluntary basis?), no weapons training, no learning to drive tanks or fly drones (well, except for the X-box, but it could be argued Scouting gets kids away from those). The gap between Scouts and armed police units, militia, and other paramilitaries is greater than the difference between them and regular military (with, Territorials or National Guard somewhere between).
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Oh bugger it.
One, it upset you initially because Leo said it.
Two, because he might have meant it that way does not mean anyone else here does.
Three,
Uniforms? Check
Learn to obey? Check
Chain of command? Check
Swear oaths of allegiance? Check
This is not saying the scouts are used now in such a militaristic fashion, but as it has been pointed out, they have been. And that is why Baden Powell set them up.

And I'm with Matt. Have you seen a school lately? Your checklist works fine with some of them, too.
Hell, that list describes a dairy with a delivery fleet.
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
Of course there is considerable difference between Scouting and the armed forces - because Scouting is an organisation aimed at children.

Master Tor fires .22 rifles at camp, along with the others, so the 'no weapons training' isn't strictly true. And I'll point you again to
quote:
there were 53,000 Scouts trained to undertake over hundred and seventy National War Service jobs by the end of 1940
which didn't just happen by accident. 'Purely voluntary' covers a multitude of sins, especially when your Scout leader is telling you to do your bit.

No, they don't drive tanks or fly drones, but neither do the regular police: if that's the best illustration you can find to highlight the difference, then perhaps I have a point.
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Hands up who's had to routinely bounce the suspension on their car to check for tilt-switch bombs?

I've probably fundamentally misunderstood here, so please do clarify: if a bomb is on a tilt switch, wouldn't bouncing the car lead to it going off?

----

Separately, didn't the AA used to wear militaristic uniforms and salute cars bearing the AA badge? Did they stop being a paramilitary organisation when they switched to fluorescent jackets?
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Hands up who's had to routinely bounce the suspension on their car to check for tilt-switch bombs?

I've probably fundamentally misunderstood here, so please do clarify: if a bomb is on a tilt switch, wouldn't bouncing the car lead to it going off?
Yes. Which is entirely the point. The bombs were placed under the driver's seat - by rocking the suspension at the rear of the car, the explosion wouldn't kill you. In theory.

You only did that after a visual inspection of the underside of the car, which had the unfortunate side effect of shouting to everyone passing that you were looking for a bomb. At least it led to one memorable encounter in a German multi-storey, where the driver of the car next to us asked if we didn't mind waiting a moment so he could get his vehicle out first...

----

quote:
Separately, didn't the AA used to wear militaristic uniforms and salute cars bearing the AA badge? Did they stop being a paramilitary organisation when they switched to fluorescent jackets?
Modelling your organisation on military lines was quite the vogue for a while, but the saluting thing was (so I read on the AA website) also to warn drivers of speed traps.

But the point of the 'paramilitary' label is to indicate the closeness of the organisation to the state apparatus. The AA never had that history.
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
quote:
the reality is usually that everyone's slouching a bit, nobody's uniforms match, the youth in charge really wishes the obnoxious kid in the third row would just shut up already, nobody really cares if anyone else is gay, and everyone's fingering their matches.
[Big Grin] Were you in my Scout troop?

Certainly we always hoped that, if asked to present themselves neatly and pressed for local or national events, that it did happen. But we settled for clean hands and faces and at least a necker to identify them as Scouts. And we didn't do drill, except if we've been asked to parade. It never took. We look for for willingness to help: community service, first aid training (oops, that means they have to obey orders! [Disappointed] )

On my honour, I promise to do my best
To do my duty to God and the Queen
To help other people at all times
And to live in the spirit of the Scout Law


which is:

A scout is kind and cheerful
Considerate and clean
And wise in the use of all resources


None of which is anything that we wouldn't wish for people of all ages.

Paramilitaristic? [Killing me]

[ 18. March 2014, 02:51: Message edited by: PeteC ]
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
My favourite supermarket has a self service option. They also have baggers who pack better and more efficiently that I can and will chase me out of the shop if I leave my wallet behind [Hot and Hormonal]

The only things I pack are 2 litre bottles of milk - anything that heavy goes in the backpack, and meat which also goes in the backpack where little claws can't get it if I get sidetracked before I put it away.
[Axe murder] New World.
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
I should have signed the above (nail my colours to the mast)

PeteC
Cub and Sea Scout 1955-1963
Adult leader (Cubs and Scouts), Group Committee member, Member of the Baden Powell Guild 1984 and continuing
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
You were a Sea Scout? Rock on! I was a Sea Scout all through high school. I loved it. Best thing I did during that otherwise dark and dreary four years.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
My favourite supermarket has a self service option. They also have baggers who pack better and more efficiently that I can and will chase me out of the shop if I leave my wallet behind [Hot and Hormonal]

The only things I pack are 2 litre bottles of milk - anything that heavy goes in the backpack, and meat which also goes in the backpack where little claws can't get it if I get sidetracked before I put it away.
[Axe murder] New World.

The "Getting Back on Track" Award goes to Huia, Christchurch, NZ
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
[Killing me] [Overused]

A lonely little post cries in the wilderness.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
The only things I pack are 2 litre bottles of milk - anything that heavy goes in the backpack, and meat which also goes in the backpack where little claws can't get it if I get sidetracked before I put it away.

I'm having a vision of a supermarket where the predators hang around just by the checkouts ready to spring into action at the sight of a pound of sausages or packet of mince, tails twitching, barely kept at bay by baggers (whose role is to bag and trap the predators not the shopping).
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Now, if they could just adapt the ultra-sensitive pressure pads on the wretched automated tills to detect the pawprint of all these hyenas circling Huia's supermarket - I'm seeing steel mesh and a robotic arm involved somehow.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
I'm seeing the makings of a short story in this. How the luckless shopper braves the dangers of the car park, gathers items from the shelves at great personal cost to themselves into a perilous electric trolley with dodgy wiring, and makes it to the checkout, only to fall victim to the merciless band of feline scavengers (perhaps accompanied by Morlocks?) in the bagging area. The punchline would be, of course, "Unexpected item in bagging area".
 
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
You were a Sea Scout? Rock on! I was a Sea Scout all through high school. I loved it. Best thing I did during that otherwise dark and dreary four years.

(Master Tor is a Sea Scout. He loves it too...)
 
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Hands up who's had to routinely bounce the suspension on their car to check for tilt-switch bombs?

Hand up. Or rather, someone else used to check for me.

I don't consider the Scouts and Guides to be paramilitary though. If they ever were, they certainly haven't been for a very long time. ("A Brownie Guide thinks of others before herself and does a good deed every day." Nah.)
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Now, if they could just adapt the ultra-sensitive pressure pads on the wretched automated tills to detect the pawprint of all these hyenas circling Huia's supermarket.

Er - do they have hyenas in NZ? (Apart from at the zoo, that is?)
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Hyenas. Wolverines. Feral cats. Whatever. They probably arrived in crates of bananas, escaped and have since taken to breeding in the back storage. Of course, they take the odd shelf-stacker - but they were only there for work 'experience' because they were on benefits. So Ministers aren't that unhappy. Employers feel they keep staff on their toes, and, by and large, they improve throughput at the tills - people pay much more briskly where there's red eyes and a slavering jaw inches from their ankles.
 
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :
 
How fondly I remember my days as a youth in the Boy Scouts. We would spend our days working as bag boys at the local supermarket; slyly working at making the local populace more and more decadent as the days went on. Soon, we had the women (only women shopped for groceries - no man would ever be caught dead in a grocery store, unless employed there) demanding that we pre peel their grapes for them so they didn't have to do so when they got home. Oh yes, it was a wonderful time.

And, of course, we wore our uniforms. They had to be neatly pressed and sparkling clean. Every single thing had to be exactly in place or our Colonel. . . err, I mean Scoutmaster, would have our hides. When we took breaks we were able to practice our drop and shoot drills in the rifle range out back of the store. Safety was, of course, a prime objective. I cannot remember more than one or two accidental casualties in the years we used that range.

Sadly, now our rifle range has been replaced by a self checkout machine factory. [Disappointed]
 
Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :
 
(Trying to tie the dual strands of this thread together, but I was never very good at knotting, even as a Guide...)

I occasionally have to call in at the nearby supermarket on the way to Brownies. I have once recently used the self-checkout purely because everyone else there clearly loathed them as much as I do, so there were queues at the real tills and no-one waiting for the Machines of Doom. Since I didn't have anything too light, crumpled, or adult, I made it through unscathed - even paying by cash! [Eek!] That'll never happen again, then!

And thinking back to last night's chaos, if my Brownies are paramilitaristic, the rest of the world is safe from any kind of organised take-over, believe me! [Killing me]
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Now, if they could just adapt the ultra-sensitive pressure pads on the wretched automated tills to detect the pawprint of all these hyenas circling Huia's supermarket.

Er - do they have hyenas in NZ? (Apart from at the zoo, that is?)
New Zealand is distinctly lacking in native mammals. Hence all the weird and wonderful birds that occupied the ecological niches instead.

Somehow the prospect of being ripped apart by circling keas doesn't strike the same fear. Except, maybe, for native New Zealanders who've encountered keas. I don't know. But anything that will happily chew up the rubber from a car's side mirror should be eyed with a degree of caution.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Employers feel they keep staff on their toes, and, by and large, they improve throughput at the tills - people pay much more briskly where there's red eyes and a slavering jaw inches from their ankles.

True, and the feral animals can be equally frightening.
 
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
I'd like to see a kea or five take on an automatic checkout machine. I'd buy tickets to that.
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I'd like to see a kea or five take on an automatic checkout machine. I'd buy tickets to that.

Now THAT is a Youtube video I'd love to see!
[Killing me]
 
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
Yesterday I went merrily round with my little zapper selecting the fortunately few items I was to buy before arriving at the till to find the computer system was down and, after checking the other till, everthing had to be scanned normally. Keeps the staff on their toes. Today, as a consequence, the computer went into a paddy about my attempting to get a zapper, because it hadn't been signed off properly yesterday, and I had to get the thing reregistered. Why do I do this
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
...
Whussa "zapper"?
 
Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
...
Whussa "zapper"?

Colloquial name for a hand held scanner that some stores now offer. You pick one up as you enter the store, registering it with your store loyalty card so they know who's got it. Then as you collect items off the shelf, you 'zap' them with the scanner, which displays a running total of what you have spent (useful when you are working to a fixed budget, or you have a coupon for '£4 off when you spend £30' so want to just spend enough to get the discount). You can pack the items directly into your own shopping bags in your trolley (that's what we Brits call a shopping cart) which saves time. When you finish shopping, you just have to pay (and scan any coupons you are using). They do random bag checks to make sure you have scanned everything in your bags, but doesn't happen often, its definitely worth using the zapper, it save a lot of time and aggro, and its kinda fun.
 
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
They are, however, incredibly annoying to other shoppers because there are people wandering around the store beeping all over the place.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Also you have to have a loyalty card or you can't use them. Almost every shop now seems to have some kind of loyalty card system so the handheld scanners are no use without them.

I don't know whether many people do use them - the Fast Track checkouts are usually deserted with everyone queueing for the normal checkouts or the Unexpected Items ones.

Actually, it might be quite fun if while you were doing your shopping it all worked perfectly but at the end, the machine would give you an unexpected item purely at random.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
I'm intrigued at the idea of the machine giving you a random item. I have this image of it sprouting robotic arms and reaching down an aisle to see what it'll grab.
 
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
No the claws belong to Georgie-Porgy my fluffy butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth cat who attacks the shopping bags if I'm distracted before unpacking them.

I have to travel a couple of hours west to see kea - but its worth it. They're awesome. It's a wonder some haven't been hired to demolish earthquake munted buildings in Christchurch. We did actually have a girnormous bird called Haast's Eagle that could have a carried away all the shopping bags and possibly me too, but it's extinct.

Huia

[ 18. March 2014, 19:52: Message edited by: Huia ]
 
Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:

I have to travel a couple of hours west to see kea - but its worth it. They're awesome. It's a wonder some haven't been hired to demolish earthquake munted buildings in Christchurch. We did actually have a girnormous bird called Haast's Eagle that could have a carried away all the shopping bags and possibly me too, but it's extinct.

Huia

Not entirely extinct - it seems to have evolved into the lesser-tackled All Black rugby player.
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
...
Whussa "zapper"?

Colloquial name for a hand held scanner that some stores now offer. You pick one up as you enter the store, registering it with your store loyalty card so they know who's got it. Then as you collect items off the shelf, you 'zap' them with the scanner, which displays a running total of what you have spent (useful when you are working to a fixed budget, or you have a coupon for '£4 off when you spend £30' so want to just spend enough to get the discount). You can pack the items directly into your own shopping bags in your trolley (that's what we Brits call a shopping cart) which saves time. When you finish shopping, you just have to pay (and scan any coupons you are using). They do random bag checks to make sure you have scanned everything in your bags, but doesn't happen often, its definitely worth using the zapper, it save a lot of time and aggro, and its kinda fun.
This Brit has only ever used a shopping trolley never a cart....
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Also you have to have a loyalty card or you can't use them.

Not so - I just scan my debit card at W**tr*se.

But the process only saves time if you remember to put stuff straight into bags, in the trolley.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
This Brit has only ever used a shopping trolley never a cart....

They are the same thing. The only difference is at the end of the shopping, one of them is pushed to a queue and the other, a line.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Look, clearly the British have got this whole supermarket shopping business COMPLETELY arsed up:

1. The notion of handheld scanners and attempting to scan while collecting items instead of after finishing the collecting. There is clearly no time saving involved, it just means you spend more time wandering the aisles instead of at the checkout.

2. The notion of a machine that wants you to weigh everything. Including all the things that aren't actually sold by weight. Who the fuck cares if a greeting card registers on the scales?

3. The stupid phrase that heads this thread.
 
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
This Brit has only ever used a shopping trolley never a cart....

They are the same thing. The only difference is at the end of the shopping, one of them is pushed to a queue and the other, a line.
Ah, pond wars. How I miss them.
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
orfeo, there's an optional scale for weighing things sold by weight in the scanning area of the self-service checkout. There's also a scale in the bagging area to check things are scanned before going into the bagging area. And very light things don't always register, like greeting cards.
 
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :
 
Re the phrase in the OP title: American self-checkouts do that, too.

I've had minor versions of the various problems mentioned. I can usually reset the "unexpected item" status by lifting whatever is in the bagging area, and putting it back down. (Easier if you put items straight into bags.) But I've occasionally had to summon the attendant (usually one for all 6 or so checkout stations) for assorted problems.

These days, I mostly shop at Trader Joe's.
[Overused]

Good food, few or no icky additives, many of their own brand items, and prices are generally lower than the average supermarket. (Say, Safeway.) No self-checkouts. Lots of friendly human clerks, who are fun to chat with. TJ's can help your budget, while simultaneously improving your health and standard of living. NOTE: TJ's is insanely popular, so it's important to take note of busy and slow times.

Oh, and another option: some supermarkets have home delivery. Cost depends on how much you spend, but there's often a way to get cheaper or free delivery. If you need to stock up on heavy items but don't have a car, it can be a lifesaver.

FWIW. YMMV.

Re keas: I've read that if you park your car in an area where they live, you have to make sure all the windows are completely closed. Otherwise, they'll get in and shred the interior of your car.
[Eek!]
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
I'm intrigued at the idea of the machine giving you a random item. I have this image of it sprouting robotic arms and reaching down an aisle to see what it'll grab.

Knowing my luck it'll probably be a dented tin of dogfood close to its expiry date.
 
Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Look, clearly the British have got this whole supermarket shopping business COMPLETELY arsed up:

1. The notion of handheld scanners and attempting to scan while collecting items instead of after finishing the collecting. There is clearly no time saving involved, it just means you spend more time wandering the aisles instead of at the checkout.

I vehemently disagree. There is most definitely a time saving. You only have to move the items ONCE from the shelf straight into your bags. In the process of picking up the item off the shelf, you just beep it with the scanner. The biggest time saver is when you have all your items - instead of standing in a line/queue waiting for a staffed checkout or a self service checkout to become free, you can walk straight up to the designated area for self scan (where I have NEVER seen a queue), beep the screen to transfer your shopping, then just pay and go. I reckon that saved me at least 10 minutes yesterday evening.

British supermarkets seem intent on providing ever more new ways of doing the shopping. Not only do we have staffed checkouts, self service checkouts, and scan-as-you-go available in store, you can also of course order online for home delivery, but the other new kid on the block is 'click and collect' where you order online, but instead of sitting around at home during the 2 hour delivery window they give you, you can drive to the store and collect your shopping, that someone has prepared for you, directly from a booth in the car park.

I guess this is supposed to be the ultimate time saver, if you know you will be passing the store on the way home, but don't actually have the time to go inside and select your items. seems a bit weird though, to go to all the trouble of ordering online, then having to visit the store anyway to get the stuff.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
seems a bit weird though, to go to all the trouble of ordering online, then having to visit the store anyway to get the stuff.

It beats both alternatives:

1) Wait at home for the delivery, which then arrives right at the end of the specified time window (never right at the start, because that would then allow you to use the rest of that time productively), if not some time after

2) Get home to find the "we tried to deliver your item but you weren't in, please collect at your nearest depot" (where, of course, "nearest depot" is 50+ miles away).

The whole reason to shop online is because you can fit the shopping into odd times in a busy day. It's somewhat negated if you then have to suspend your hectic life to sit around for a delivery. Stopping briefly at your local store to pick up a few bags of groceries on the way home from work is much easier, especially if you couple that to filling the tank with a small fortunes worth of petrol.
 
Posted by Niteowl (# 15841) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
seems a bit weird though, to go to all the trouble of ordering online, then having to visit the store anyway to get the stuff.

It beats both alternatives:

1) Wait at home for the delivery, which then arrives right at the end of the specified time window (never right at the start, because that would then allow you to use the rest of that time productively), if not some time after

2) Get home to find the "we tried to deliver your item but you weren't in, please collect at your nearest depot" (where, of course, "nearest depot" is 50+ miles away).

The whole reason to shop online is because you can fit the shopping into odd times in a busy day. It's somewhat negated if you then have to suspend your hectic life to sit around for a delivery. Stopping briefly at your local store to pick up a few bags of groceries on the way home from work is much easier, especially if you couple that to filling the tank with a small fortunes worth of petrol.

There is one store here that takes online orders and delivers. The delivery fee is based on the window of time for delivery - 1 hour window is full price, 2 hour window is 3/4 price and 4 hour window is half off. Quite flexible for anyone with a tight schedule. I've used their service and they've never been late.
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Click and collect is available at some tube stations - you can order online and collect from the tube station on the way home, never having to go near the supermarket. It's how another supermarket chain is getting a foothold here, where there's a Tesco and M&S in town, ASDA click and collect available at the tube station.

[ 19. March 2014, 11:55: Message edited by: Curiosity killed ... ]
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
When the supermarkets take over the railways to provide their click-and-collect service, can we expect announcements of "Unexpected item on the line" everytime there's a bit of snow or autumn leaves falling?
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:

These days, I mostly shop at Trader Joe's.
[Overused]

Good food, few or no icky additives, many of their own brand items, and prices are generally lower than the average supermarket. (Say, Safeway.) No self-checkouts. Lots of friendly human clerks, who are fun to chat with. TJ's can help your budget, while simultaneously improving your health and standard of living. NOTE: TJ's is insanely popular, so it's important to take note of busy and slow times.

I love Trader Joe's! For all the reasons you gave.
[Axe murder]
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
orfeo, there's an optional scale for weighing things sold by weight in the scanning area of the self-service checkout.

Fine.
quote:
There's also a scale in the bagging area to check things are scanned before going into the bagging area. And very light things don't always register, like greeting cards.

Pointlessly stupid. Among the reasons I go to the self-service checkout is if I only have a couple of things that I can carry in my hands. Being ordered by a machine to put them down so that it can 'see' what I've got is just ludicrous.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Look, clearly the British have got this whole supermarket shopping business COMPLETELY arsed up:

1. The notion of handheld scanners and attempting to scan while collecting items instead of after finishing the collecting. There is clearly no time saving involved, it just means you spend more time wandering the aisles instead of at the checkout.

I vehemently disagree. There is most definitely a time saving. You only have to move the items ONCE from the shelf straight into your bags.
And have you factored in the time you spend either:

1. Veering all over the supermarket ensuring that you purchase things in the order that you want them to be in the bag; or

2. Rearranging the contents of your bag every time you pick up something that ought to be below the more delicate things you've already got in there?

Thought not.
 
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :
 
The thing that makes me crazy at the self check-out stands is how often they don't recognize reusable bags people bring in. A local ordinance forbids supermarkets from giving away plastic grocery bags and requires them to charge 10 cents for each paper bag, so I usually bring my own reusable bags. The stands all have an option for this -- you're supposed to put your bags on the scale in the bagging area before you do anything else and push the appropriate button for that so the damn thing knows these are not the dreaded unexpected items, but every single time I get the message that it doesn't recognize my bags and an assistant has been called. Assistants in all the local stores say it's not just me; the check-out stands almost never recognize bags people bring in.

The weird thing is that they usually do fine with the string bags I crocheted, but can't handle the reusable bags I've purchased at grocery stores.

Also, Trader Joe's is a gift from the gods. But all the money I save on staples like milk and eggs I spend on their imported cheese.
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
I totally confused ours by slinging my bike panniers on the scale...
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
Click and collect is available at some tube stations.

And I had always thought they were places for catching trains ...

A Good Idea, actually. What would Bob Crow (RIP) have thought of it? Are the stores replacing he Ticket Offices?
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I won't hear a word against grocers at railway stations. When we got off the train the other day - 9 o'clock at night, been travelling 14 hours - the M&S at Waverley was like a wee oasis. We got sufficient for a dinner and breakfast - and an offer of plastic cutlery (since the place is staffed by Actual People).
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
Click and collect is available at some tube stations.

And I had always thought they were places for catching trains ...

A Good Idea, actually. What would Bob Crow (RIP) have thought of it? Are the stores replacing he Ticket Offices?

No, not sure how it works actually, just got leafleted for a week, and the barriers now have advertisements on them - but I have seen lurking delivery vans outside, so I suspect you collect off the delivery van.
 
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
Also, Trader Joe's is a gift from the gods. But all the money I save on staples like milk and eggs I spend on their imported cheese.

Compared to what you would be paying for that cheese at any other store, you probably still end up saving money. (Og, who finally shoved his way through the hordes of California transplants to check out the new TJ's in his neighborhood and got sucked into the cult.)
 
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
I've only used home delivery twice - once when I was going to do Christmas for my dad, and school didn't finish until the 21st, and again when I thought I had the dreaded swine lurgy. Not too badly, but I didn't want to go breathing it about in public. It has surprised me how, whenever I have been unwell, despite having cupboards and freezers stocked with enough to keep me for at least a month, I do not have anything I feel like eating under the circumstances.
And now I can't take advantage of W-----e's offer of £75 off my first home deliveries, because I have already had them, and anyway I can't think of what to spend the minimum amount on. Not even with topping up for the food bank.

[ 19. March 2014, 18:07: Message edited by: Penny S ]
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I won't hear a word against grocers at railway stations. When we got off the train the other day - 9 o'clock at night, been travelling 14 hours - the M&S at Waverley was like a wee oasis. We got sufficient for a dinner and breakfast - and an offer of plastic cutlery (since the place is staffed by Actual People).

I think I'm far too old and nowhere near middle-middle-class enough to buy food from Marks and Sparks. Its an underwear shop. Too much cognitive dissonance to buy food there.

And as for collecting food from railway stations - or ordering it to be delivered - it has no appeal at all. I want to see food before I buy it. How do I know I want to eat it until I can see it and smell it? Street markets and corner shops are best. Supermarkets if I have to. But mail order? No way.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I won't hear a word against grocers at railway stations. When we got off the train the other day - 9 o'clock at night, been travelling 14 hours - the M&S at Waverley was like a wee oasis.

Totally. It really can be a godsend sometimes as the railway station ones are often open late when everything else has given up. You do pay a bit more but you know you're getting good quality.

quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
...every single time I get the message that it doesn't recognize my bags and an assistant has been called.

"Please wait while an assistant verifies your bags."

It drives me crackers. I think the whole thing could be translated from machine-speak as: "I don't like the look of this customer." In fact I'm surprised the machine doesn't sometimes say, "Please wait. An assistant is coming to verify this unexpected customer."

Oh, and don't ever try buying alcohol at one of these. This is one occasion when they really do have to come and verify you. As well as your bag.

[ 19. March 2014, 18:39: Message edited by: Ariel ]
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I once approached an autocheck with a beer bottle in hand, and an assistant practically tackled me. "I'll take that!" (wrench)

When she scanned it for me and it started screaming at her, and she slapped it back with a masterful hand, I thanked her for intruding. She smiled and said "I knew it would give you trouble."

And Ruth-- word up about the bag weight nonsense. If they goal is to encourage people to bring their own bags, why do they make it so damn hard?
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ruth W
Assistants in all the local stores say it's not just me; the check-out stands almost never recognize bags people bring in.

My daughter routinely uses her own bags when she shops at HEB in Texas. There is never any problem. Maybe the California stores should ask HEB how they do it.

Moo
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that makes me crazy at the self check-out stands is how often they don't recognize reusable bags people bring in. k and eggs I spend on their imported cheese.

Same here - I just out everything 'naked' in 'the bagging areas', pay ans then put them into bags afterwards.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
I press the YES button when asked "Are you using your own bags?", then put my bag in the bagging area. If it recognises it I just get on with scanning and bagging. If it doesn't recognise it I press "cancel", and press the NO button instead ... then start scanning and bagging into my bag still sitting in the bagging area.

However, I'm not worried about it assuming because I'm not using my own bag I must be using one of theirs. When they start charging for flimsy carrier bags that will be different - I'll object to paying for a carrier bag in the first place, doubly so if it's for one I didn't use.

There is also the problem of using multiple bags. It's fine with the first bag. The second one becomes one of those unexpected items. There's a bag in the bagging area! I didn't expect that!
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
This is exactly what makes those "Terminator" type scenarios of machines taking over the world so hilarious. They only get more neurotic the more sentient they get. In 50 years we will have half our services provided by Woody Allen clones.

"Ya see,you pushed 'no bags,' but I think that you really do want bags, but would rather play the martyr than just say so. I wish you would learn to communicate."
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
The only thing mine asks at the start is whether I'm doing shopping or just taking money out - using the supermarket as a bank... never done that.

Yes, okay, that's weird. But none of this having to tell it whether I'm using my own bag or one of theirs. In fact, if I'm using one of theirs I have to take it from the 'bagging' side so I can swipe the barcode on the bottom (another place where thin free plastic bags are no longer allowed) before using it. My own bag just goes in. No screeching required.

WTF are you doing in these other countries??
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I think I'm far too old and nowhere near middle-middle-class enough to buy food from Marks and Sparks. Its an underwear shop. Too much cognitive dissonance to buy food there.

I'm surprised you haven't come across their Simply Food outlets, which I think is becoming their core business. I was looking for one that carried clothing last time I was in London: the people at Charing Cross directed me to the one in Long Acre - but even there, the food occupied the prime position on the ground floor and the knickers etc were bundled away upstairs.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Apparently employing Captain Queeg as a design engineer on our autochecker production projects.

"Ah, but the strawberries! That's where I had them!"

[ 19. March 2014, 21:24: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
This is exactly what makes those "Terminator" type scenarios of machines taking over the world so hilarious. They only get more neurotic the more sentient they get. In 50 years we will have half our services provided by Woody Allen clones.

"Ya see,you pushed 'no bags,' but I think that you really do want bags, but would rather play the martyr than just say so. I wish you would learn to communicate."

Or, Marvin. The Paranoid Android, not our Martian. "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and all I do is scan beans. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't"
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
"Bags? Don't talk to me about bags!"
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Just wait until they start commenting on your socio-economic status based on your purchases.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Ha!

I wrote a short story for the college literary magazine when I was 20 or so, about those cash registers that announced the item and price when you scanned it. The cash register added mocking commentary for each item the customer bought.

"PEPSI, 2 LITER, ONE DOLLAR AND NINETY-NICE CENTS. SHOULDN'T YOU BE GETTING THE DIET, HONEY?"
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
"Oooh, duck pate. You're not from around here, are you honey."
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
"GILLETTE RAZOR BLADES, FOUR COUNT, 3 DOLLARS AND NINETEEN CENTS. GOOD START, LADY. VERTICAL CUTS, NOT HORIZONTAL."

It was a nasty little story. Very Stephen King derivative. And I'll shut up now.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Don't stop now, you're raising the readability of the thread by a considerable margin.
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I can't remember what the register said said when the cashier scanned the Summer's Eve. It's probably better that way.
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I can't remember what the register said said when the cashier scanned the Summer's Eve. It's probably better that way.

I'll bet it wasn't "The holy time is quiet as a nun breathless with adoration." (Apologies to William Wordsworth.)
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
No, that is what the nozzle would say.
 
Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 
I'm lovin' the turn this thread has taken. Although that may be because I'm heavily into demented Christopher Moore lit lately. [Devil]
 
Posted by Vulpior (# 12744) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The only thing mine asks at the start is whether I'm doing shopping or just taking money out - using the supermarket as a bank... never done that.

Yes, okay, that's weird. But none of this having to tell it whether I'm using my own bag or one of theirs. In fact, if I'm using one of theirs I have to take it from the 'bagging' side so I can swipe the barcode on the bottom (another place where thin free plastic bags are no longer allowed) before using it. My own bag just goes in. No screeching required.

WTF are you doing in these other countries??

And now I can tell which half of the duopoly you use. They do banking actually, hence the wanna-be-an-ATM bit; I have a Frequent Flyer point-earning credit card with them. They code the loyalty card info onto the back so one card does two things.

I rarely have problems with their self-checkout, but always have problems at the other place. I take an esky (tr. cool bag) to the supermarket because we live so far out. Even when I go through the "I've brought my own bag" process, it's heavier than the bagging scales expect, so I need the assistant to clear the message.

I understand the weight checking thing, but I wish it wouldn't check each item individually. You have to pick-scan-pack each item, and the scanner won't become active again until you've placed each item in the bagging area. Slows me down.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
No, that is what the nozzle would say.

And suddenly, the already amazing FLP potential of this thread title has gone up.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
When we got off the train the other day - 9 o'clock at night, been travelling 14 hours - the M&S at Waverley was like a wee oasis.

Coming from Linlithgow, you'd have been quicker on foot ...
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
But not, I think, if coming from Aix-en-Provence.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Vulpior:
And now I can tell which half of the duopoly you use. They do banking actually, hence the wanna-be-an-ATM bit; I have a Frequent Flyer point-earning credit card with them. They code the loyalty card info onto the back so one card does two things.

Don't get me started on the whole 'what else can a powerful supermarket do' business. I think I mentioned on the Ship when I started seeing ads for things like car insurance and, possibly even worse, life insurance. From the supermarket. In what way does ensuring a regular supply of apples equip you to help me deal with a smash repairer? Do grieving widows get a discount at the deli?
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
Off the top of my head, people at Daewoo sell fridges and motor cars and the folk at Hitachi sell trains and television sets. So I wouldn't say this is so unusual.
 
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Just wait until they start commenting on your socio-economic status based on your purchases.

If you use a loyalty card they will already have put you in your socio-economic status box. In fact, if you use a credit or debit card regularly at one chain they may well have done so. And if you have a Tesco loyalty card the majority of the commercial world probably knows all about you, and is making assumptions that are based on which brand of beans you buy.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Just wait until they start commenting on your socio-economic status based on your purchases.

If you use a loyalty card they will already have put you in your socio-economic status box. In fact, if you use a credit or debit card regularly at one chain they may well have done so. And if you have a Tesco loyalty card the majority of the commercial world probably knows all about you, and is making assumptions that are based on which brand of beans you buy.
Oh, I'm well aware of this. Scanning my 'Everyday Rewards' card gets me a few more points on a frequent flyer program, and in return some computer somewhere knows exactly what I buy.

Which still doesn't seem to stop them pulling some of my preferred products off the shelves. Bastards. I don't care if I'm the only person in a 5km radius who likes Lapsang Souchang tea. I'll buy it if you have it!

[ 20. March 2014, 10:01: Message edited by: orfeo ]
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
Off the top of my head, people at Daewoo sell fridges and motor cars and the folk at Hitachi sell trains and television sets. So I wouldn't say this is so unusual.

I'll give you a clue. Both of those pairs are still in MANUFACTURING.
 
Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican't:
Off the top of my head, people at Daewoo sell fridges and motor cars and the folk at Hitachi sell trains and television sets. So I wouldn't say this is so unusual.

I'll give you a clue. Both of those pairs are still in MANUFACTURING.
Yes, but quite different.

When supermarkets get into the petrol station / insurance / selling you holidays game, I assume that they either buy a business already in the field and then rebrand it as a subsidiary of the supermarket or the supermarket goes out to hire specialised petrol / insurance / holiday people to run the business, rather than getting their shelf stackers to start drafting insurance policies.

In the same way, I'm sure Daewoo doesn't give Min-jun the fridge repairman a spanner and tell him to re-tune an engine.

[ 20. March 2014, 10:18: Message edited by: Anglican't ]
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Yes, but it's all just an even more blatant money & power grab than usual. I don't want a single company trying to run my entire life like that.
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
If you use a loyalty card they will already have put you in your socio-economic status box. In fact, if you use a credit or debit card regularly at one chain they may well have done so. And if you have a Tesco loyalty card the majority of the commercial world probably knows all about you, and is making assumptions that are based on which brand of beans you buy.

Several years ago I read about someone suing a grocery store because they had fallen on a slippery spot in the aisle. The store used their purchasing history, as recorded on their "loyalty" card, to show how much booze they regularly bought. I believe the store won their case -- though how they could prove the person drank all the booze they bought, and hadn't shared it with others, I don't know.

(I buy wine at Trader Joe's and beer at TotalWine -- that'll fool my regular grocery store!)
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
I'm really blessed (can I use that word here?) by having a little 2-checkout Co-Op as my nearest 'supermarket'. Yes, their range of goods is limited (though sufficient for my simple needs), and is amply compensated for by the friendliness of the staff - mostly young or young-ish working Mums. Why, some of them even reach behind them to the alcohol shelf for my favourite single malt before I ask for it......and you won't get that sort of personal service everywhere......

......yes, I perhaps do need to get out more.....

Ian J.
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I think I'm far too old and nowhere near middle-middle-class enough to buy food from Marks and Sparks. Its an underwear shop. Too much cognitive dissonance to buy food there.

I'm surprised you haven't come across their Simply Food outlets, which I think is becoming their core business. I was looking for one that carried clothing last time I was in London: the people at Charing Cross directed me to the one in Long Acre - but even there, the food occupied the prime position on the ground floor and the knickers etc were bundled away upstairs.
Of course I've come across them. They are just too weird to use regularly. Also perhaps the most expensive of the main supermarket chains for food. Lots of pre-cooked meals I rarely buy, not so much in the way of basic ingredients.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Yes, but it's all just an even more blatant money & power grab than usual. I don't want a single company trying to run my entire life like that.

It's the nature of corporations to expand, or rather perhaps not their nature but what market economies force them to do. Supermarkets can build more stores, make their existing stores bigger, offer new ways to try and make shopping easier and less hassle (click and collect, self-serve checkouts etc), loyalty cards. But, at the end of the day there's only so much people will buy. So, expansion means expanding into new markets. So, they put in petrol forecourts, start selling clothing and electrical goods. They all need changes to the stores, or new stores. Financial services is much easier as they don't need to change their stores much at all.

You don't have to play their game. Plenty of banks, credit cards, loans, insurance providers for you to choose from.
 
Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Very occasionally (if visiting family in London), I pop into Marks n'Sparks at St.Pancras Station) to see what they have in the way of ready meals. Their (occasional) microwaveable chish n'phips (£2.99 last time I looked) can't (IMNSHO) be beat......absolutely bl**dy delicious....

[Big Grin]

Ian J.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Same here - I just out everything 'naked' in 'the bagging areas', pay ans then put them into bags afterwards.

"Nude shopping night, 7-10pm." There'd be a few unexpected items in the bagging area that night, for sure.
 
Posted by basso (# 4228) on :
 
Reminds me of the glory days at the Marina Safeway. (Tales of the City reference - I never had the nerve to shop there on a busy night, but everybody knew about it.)
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
It's the nature of corporations to expand, or rather perhaps not their nature but what market economies force them to do.

Yes, well, my views on the wisdom of some aspects of market economies probably deserve a Hell thread of their own.
 
Posted by Vulpior (# 12744) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Vulpior:
And now I can tell which half of the duopoly you use. They do banking actually, hence the wanna-be-an-ATM bit; I have a Frequent Flyer point-earning credit card with them. They code the loyalty card info onto the back so one card does two things.

Don't get me started on the whole 'what else can a powerful supermarket do' business. I think I mentioned on the Ship when I started seeing ads for things like car insurance and, possibly even worse, life insurance. From the supermarket. In what way does ensuring a regular supply of apples equip you to help me deal with a smash repairer? Do grieving widows get a discount at the deli?
We were struck last year by how much the major supermarket chains have expanded their offerings. White goods, large electronics, clothes and own-brand mobile offerings are all present where they weren't 4 or 5 years ago.
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Vulpior
Even when I go through the "I've brought my own bag" process, it's heavier than the bagging scales expect, so I need the assistant to clear the message.

I have never heard of weighing the bags you bring. Around here after you press the button for "I've brought my own bag.", you are instructed to put it in the bagging area.

What difference does it make how much it weighs?

Moo
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
It's how they tell if you are ripping off a greeting card.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
No joke. I'd just plonked my own bag in the bagging area when I realised I'd left my purse (=UK usage ie the thing you keep money in). I tried lifting it out as I put in the first item, but it spotted Initial Weight of Bag + Scanned Item does not equal Current Weight of Bag + Scanned Item.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
If I'd done that the machine would have thrown a fit and screamed for the assistant. You can only put your own bag on the scales if it's a certain weight - and that has to be very light or empty - if it already has items in it it will have to be verified. I learnt the hard way to remove any folding umbrellas, newspapers, etc before putting it on the scales and it never likes shopping already purchased elsewhere.

I just wonder how this will go. Lots of items sticking on the way down, machines that eat money, out-of-date items eventually coming to the fore, and potential for smash-and-grab, I should think.

Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

[ 21. March 2014, 07:16: Message edited by: Ariel ]
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
Vending machines in Japan provide a much wider range of goods than I'm used to in the UK. Though, I've not noticed any with a wide range of staples like that machine. It doesn't seem to cause problems - cash would be the most common means of payment and rejected notes don't seem to happen, and the machines don't give the wrong item/not give the item.
 
Posted by Alban (# 9047) on :
 
Eggs they say?
Eggs?
You think stacking bananas below cans is irritating, imagine dropping a pack of eggs into the collecting tray.
Looks like fun. [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Alban:

You think stacking bananas below cans is irritating, imagine dropping a pack of eggs into the collecting tray.
Looks like fun. [Roll Eyes]

You can package eggs so they won't break, even when thrown from a second story. This is a routine assignment for first-year-students at some engineering schools.

Moo
 
Posted by TheAlethiophile (# 16870) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
You can package eggs so they won't break, even when thrown from a second story. This is a routine assignment for first-year-students at some engineering schools.

In other engineering departments, the first years do the packaging while the 2nd years are the ones on the roof. The first years have to catch the eggs + packaging.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Would you really call Ronnie Barker (aka Arkwright) a "friendly" shopkeeper? I could think of several other words to describe him ...

Here in the East people still do talk to each other in shops (and we're not in a tiny village).

[ 21. March 2014, 13:26: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:


Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Bugger that. In, buy, out, quick as possible is my aim.
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:


Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Bugger that. In, buy, out, quick as possible is my aim.
Agreed. Around here the "corner stores" are mostly chains (7-Eleven, Circle K, or gas stations). They seem to exist primarily as cigarette stores and are rather creepy. They're also very popular for robberies. (And they smell funny.)
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:


Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Bugger that. In, buy, out, quick as possible is my aim.
Corner shops and street markets are quicker than supermarkets. Its one of their great advantages.
 
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
Wouldn't the biggest factor be how much you're buying? If you're just popping in for a loaf of bread and a pint of milk then supermarkets will be slower because usually they'll be in aisles opposite ends of the store, and you'll need to go back to the tills. In a corner shop the distance between items and the tills will be much shorter. If you buy more then the difference in distance becomes less significant (assuming you plan your shop such that you're not constantly going back and forth all over the place).
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Depends. Supermarkets arrange goods to have you traverse as much of the building as possible. Perishables at the back, veg on one side, baked goods the other. Large family shopping is walking up and down most aisles regardless, but singles, couples with no children it can be less efficient.
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:


Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Bugger that. In, buy, out, quick as possible is my aim.
Corner shops and street markets are quicker than supermarkets. Its one of their great advantages.
I'll pass on the chatting waiting to be served bit, though, thanks.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Thus contributing to the further disintegration of local community ... (assuming you're shopping near home, of course).
 
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:


Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Bugger that. In, buy, out, quick as possible is my aim.
Eerie, as I read that, I could hear my (ex) American wife saying, 'sure hope you don't make love like that, honey'. God bless Sam, and fuck off.
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'll pass on the chatting waiting to be served bit, though, thanks.

I won't. I'll admit there are times when I do not feel like talking, or am in a hurry, and would rather they just. shut. it. But for every one of those, there are several more when it makes life just that more pleasant, just that more enjoyable.
From a mercenary POV, a friendly smile and a chat can pay dividends as well.

Though in honesty, will have to admit that I am often in my own little world and only realise I have appeared less than friendly afterward.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Would you really call Ronnie Barker (aka Arkwright) a "friendly" shopkeeper? I could think of several other words to describe him ...

I never even remotely considered him when I was writing that post - actually I don't think I ever saw the programme for more than a few minutes once years ago.

I was thinking of a family friend who ran a corner shop. He and his wife knew everybody and it was a friendly place to be. That kind of place does add a little something to the community - if you're short of money one day they might know you well enough to say not to worry, bring it in next time, instead of going without; and it is nice to be able to chat a bit to people in a queue. Besides, it makes the queueing time seem shorter.

The trouble with self-service machines is that they depersonalise things. Tonight in the supermarket we had an assistant on the till who cheered us up with a bit of banter as he processed people's shopping, and most of us left with smiles on our faces. You won't get that from a machine.

[ 21. March 2014, 18:36: Message edited by: Ariel ]
 
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
Reminds me of the glory days at the Marina Safeway. (Tales of the City reference - I never had the nerve to shop there on a busy night, but everybody knew about it.)

Ah, yes. The produce section was a singles' meeting place for straight folks. (One theory was that if the prospective person looked good in *that* lighting, they'd look ok in the morning!). IIRC, there was another store some place else for same-sex folks.
 
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
A coup;le of supermarkets on Sydney's Lower North Shore had that reputation. Allegedly your availability and preferences were shown by placing bananas (I kid you not) in your shopping trolley and how they were placed. I never needed to try the purchase when I lived nearby.
 
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on :
 
I love the self check machines.

I just pile all the items onto the bagging area, and then pack them into my backpack or whatever after I've paid. I take my merry time and no one seems to care.

It also helps that the first button I press is the one that turns the volume off.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I went though an attended checkout.

[Axe murder]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
There are two branches of a well-known chain that I use. At one the machines work well and are logical, at the other the (older) machines are much less logical (e.g. in where you put in money and retrieve change).
 
Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:


Bring back the old-fashioned corner store with a friendly shopkeeper and people who got to chat to each other while waiting to be served.

Bugger that. In, buy, out, quick as possible is my aim.
Am I the only person who talks to the checkout assistant while scanning and loading the shopping? I always blamed that habit for me picking up a Brummie accent whilst a student in Birmingham... [Smile]
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:
Am I the only person who talks to the checkout assistant while scanning and loading the shopping?

Probably. I would, but ours are usually leaping about like a cat on hot bricks trying to sort out several malfunctioning terminals simultaneously.
 
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

The trouble with self-service machines is that they depersonalise things.

Yes - and they are everywhere.

Ticket machines, bank ATMs, online check-in, supermarkets, facebook - the list grows by the day. Even some maths lessons now involve a class of kids sitting at ipads. All are much more efficient (even the maths lessons - they go at exactly the child's pace, revising or moving on as needed, no teacher could do that so quickly with 36 kids)

The problem with all this, of course, is isolation - especially for the elderly.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
The problem with all this, of course, is isolation - especially for the elderly.

Precisely. For some people the greeting and quip in a supermarket may be the only contact they get during the course of that day.

The other thing that gives me pause for thought is that young people growing up with all these self-service things, and a bunch of smartphones, iPads, tablets and so on will regard the lessened lack of direct face-to-face contact with other people as natural. If you watch a group of young people they're quite often sitting together in silence, engrossed in their phones. A decade or so ago, they'd have been talking to each other.
 
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :
 
Yes, I notice when I meet friends, because we are old codgers, we turn our phones off, whereas around us, the young are gazing beatifically at their screens, where presumably they can see messages from others, also gazing in bliss at their phones. Brave new world!
 
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 
Oh, vocal chords! So 20th Century.

What I have observed is a division of attention. No one is completely here or there. But I do not see this as strictly the young, but also heavily in the middle agers up into the younger oldsters. At least as far as the low 60's.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

The trouble with self-service machines is that they depersonalise things.

The problem with all this, of course, is isolation - especially for the elderly.
You make this sound like a bad thing. Shoot, if I can make it through one more checkout line without the clerk asking me about my day (as if they cared), and without me having to lie and go through the usual platitudes with strangers who pretend to care in precisely the way their job training video taught them to, I'll do it. I like the self-checkouts, thankyouverymuch; let me get my toothpaste in as close to peace as I can manage and let me get on my way.

Are there places for The Personal Touch and Friendly Shopkeepers™? Yes, sure, at places that offer personal service—you know, not busy supermarkets where I just want to get in, out, and on my way. The villiage idyll of everybody talking to everybody and up to date on everybody else's business, just doesn't work outside the village—and, given the propensity to gossip, maybe not too well in the village.

So forgive me if I see respecting my personal boundaries and giving me a bit more control over situations as something other than the decline and fall of civilization.
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
Are there places for The Personal Touch and Friendly Shopkeepers™? Yes, sure, at places that offer personal service—you know, not busy supermarkets where I just want to get in, out, and on my way. The villiage idyll of everybody talking to everybody and up to date on everybody else's business, just doesn't work outside the village—and, given the propensity to gossip, maybe not too well in the village.

Actually, the family friend I mentioned had his shop in the heart of a capital city.

I'm firmly of the opinion that capital cities are in particular need of a bit of community feeling, given how many people live in bedsits, flats with no communal area, and other rented accommodation.

The false bonhomie is one thing, but the option of genuine exchanges is a valuable thing.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
I'm with Ariel on this one. I live alone. At age 40, I'm already a bit worried that I'm heading in the direction of being one of those people who doesn't have much personal interaction.

And then of course I come online and take it all out on you lot.
 
Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

And then of course I come online and take it all out on you lot.

Yes. Yes. We had noticed that.

You're 40? I'm 39. Good Lord. We're of an age. [Eek!]

[ 24. March 2014, 06:17: Message edited by: Evensong ]
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
The problem with all this, of course, is isolation - especially for the elderly.

Precisely. For some people the greeting and quip in a supermarket may be the only contact they get during the course of that day.

So they then hold up the rest of the queue while telling their life story to the cashier.
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
The problem with all this, of course, is isolation - especially for the elderly.

Precisely. For some people the greeting and quip in a supermarket may be the only contact they get during the course of that day.

So they then hold up the rest of the queue while telling their life story to the cashier.
Your turn will come soon, young Spike.

And for the record I never discuss my life with the checkout people.
 
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
There are some things which should not be said in public.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
I would have thought 'bagging area' was one of them, personally.
 
Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :
 
A few days ago I needed to get a couple of items and a handful of greeting cards from the supermarket. As I searched for a real checkout with a real person (when exactly did they turn half of the tills into self-serve suitable for trolley-loads?), the one assistant bravely manning all 12 self-serve tills tried to encourage me to use them. Oh no, I'm not falling for that again! [brick wall] She took some convincing that I wasn't going to leave my queue, but I held out. [Razz]
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
A few weeks ago a clerk urged me to use the self-serve, so that she could show me how easy and efficient it was. It was just as obstreperous with her as it would have been with me, which I found quite amusing. [Big Grin]

Around here, when gas/petrol stations started having some pumps self-serve*, they offered a discount if you pumped your own fuel. Perhaps grocery stores should do the same.

(*There are NO full-serve pumps anymore.)
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
And for the record I never discuss my life with the checkout people.

So whose life do you discuss instead?
[Devil]
 
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
A few weeks ago a clerk urged me to use the self-serve, so that she could show me how easy and efficient it was. It was just as obstreperous with her as it would have been with me, which I found quite amusing. [Big Grin]

Around here, when gas/petrol stations started having some pumps self-serve*, they offered a discount if you pumped your own fuel. Perhaps grocery stores should do the same.

(*There are NO full-serve pumps anymore.)

I've seen notices (last week, one was) announcing that fill service can be available at some times (unspecified) at some stations. But no information on how to get it.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:

And for the record I never discuss my life with the checkout people.

PeteC, you're missing the joy of making things up. Cab drivers, barbers, checkout operators, people on the bus and train who insist on talking to you, if they want to hear a story let them have one.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
And for the record I never discuss my life with the checkout people.

So whose life do you discuss instead?
[Devil]

That's easy: her three doors down - comings and goings at all hours. Have you seen the number of bottles going out for the bins? And half a pound of streaky, please. Curtains still closed at 10 o'clock. On a Tuesday. Packet of custard creams and a quarter of Mint Imperials. Yes, that's what I heard too, the postie said he didn't know where to look.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
And for the record I never discuss my life with the checkout people.

So whose life do you discuss instead?
[Devil]

That's easy: her three doors down - comings and goings at all hours. Have you seen the number of bottles going out for the bins? And half a pound of streaky, please. Curtains still closed at 10 o'clock. On a Tuesday. Packet of custard creams and a quarter of Mint Imperials. Yes, that's what I heard too, the postie said he didn't know where to look.
And stuff like this is exactly why I'm glad the old, gossipy ways of the past, with a shopkeeper or pharmacist who knew everybody's private business and made sure everybody else knew it too, are over.
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
Last night at the supermarket I had a lovely chat about American cuisine. The guy on the checkout brought up your lack of meat pies and I discussed your lack of lamb.
 
Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Actually yes, we were chatting recipes and holiday destinations when I was standing waiting for the final, final reductions on food going out of date last night, with the guy who was doing the reductions. Slightly bizarre - if we're queueing for the cheapest possible food we're possibly not in the market for amazing holidays.

[ 25. March 2014, 06:26: Message edited by: Curiosity killed ... ]
 
Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :
 
Ariston:
quote:
And stuff like this is exactly why I'm glad the old, gossipy ways of the past, with a shopkeeper or pharmacist who knew everybody's private business and made sure everybody else knew it too, are over.
I hate to burst your bubble, but have you ever heard of Facebook and Twitter?
 
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
Ariston:
quote:
And stuff like this is exactly why I'm glad the old, gossipy ways of the past, with a shopkeeper or pharmacist who knew everybody's private business and made sure everybody else knew it too, are over.
I hate to burst your bubble, but have you ever heard of Facebook and Twitter?
Or a forum called The Ship of Fools where people not only share private business but their deepest theological thoughts in public?
 
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Last night at the supermarket I had a lovely chat about American cuisine. The guy on the checkout brought up your lack of meat pies and I discussed your lack of lamb.

Are you thinking of hand-sized pies, pasties and such? There are places where you can get them. But frozen "pot pies" are much more common: chicken, turkey, beef. (No illegal plant substances involved! [Biased] )

Some people do eat lamb and mutton, but I never developed a taste for those meats.
 
Posted by Chocoholic (# 4655) on :
 
A girl was having a lovely conversation while, and after finishing using the self service checkout this evening with the girl supervising who I think was her friend. Which was great, unless you were queuing, and just wanted her to pick up her shopping and let someone else use it.

Choccie - purchasing some chocolate!
 
Posted by ken (# 2460) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
Ariston:
quote:
And stuff like this is exactly why I'm glad the old, gossipy ways of the past, with a shopkeeper or pharmacist who knew everybody's private business and made sure everybody else knew it too, are over.
I hate to burst your bubble, but have you ever heard of Facebook and Twitter?
Oh it happens in real life too. Just try our local pub. I don't need to watch soap operas, just keep my ears open. You get to hear of all sorts of stuff better left unshared. From adultery to attempted murder.

Though very little has risen to the level of the pub regulars gathering at the window to watch a young bloke over the road, wearing a suit and tie, talking into his mobile, and banging on the door of a house that is by some alleged to be a brothel, and getting increasingly red in the face knowing we were watching him.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
"All London brothels display a blue lamp..."
 


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