Ship of Fools: Circus: "Nihilistic Password Security Questions"

Thread: Circus: "Nihilistic Password Security Questions" Board: Limbo / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=11;t=001293

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

McSweeney's published this brilliant list of "nihilistic password security questions" - you know, the questions you set in case you forget your password on a website. Some examples from Soheil Rezayazdi for McSweeney's:

quote:
What is the name of your least favorite child?

In what year did you abandon your dreams?

Read the list for a chuckle...and then offer your own here! No need to answer the questions (unless you want to, but then we'll all be able to steal your passwords).

But I'm sure Shipmates can come up with some good ones!

I'll give it a go:

What did your family mock you for wanting to be when you grew up?

[ 07. March 2016, 07:46: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Which relative said something to you when you were a child that crushed you so badly you still haven't gotten over it?

Posted by Trudy Scrumptious (# 5647) on :

What was the name of the street on which you used to stand and gaze at the window of your only true love, who would never acknowledge your existence?

Posted by Rossweisse (# 2349) on :

What's your favorite chemo?

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

How many ****s do you currently give?

(On second thought, that one might be too obvious...)

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

What is the name of the teacher who told you you couldn't sing?

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

Which of your past bosses was the most obnoxious?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

What was the last book you gave up reading because you couldn't understand it or because it was too long?

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

Whose grave would you most like to dance on?

AG

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Which of your neighbours is the most annoying?

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

What words spoken to you have crushed your spirit the most?

Posted by Hiro's Leap (# 12470) on :

Which of your childhood pets had the least unpleasant death?

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Which of your relationships was most pointless?

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

In which subject did you score the lowest marks in school?

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

How many times have you been refused credit?

Posted by Adam. (# 4991) on :

Where would you locate yourself on a scale from ennui to enervation?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

What is the most number of days you have gone without washing?

Posted by Adam. (# 4991) on :

What do you want to say about National Socialism (which is, at least, an ethos)?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Who was the first to tell you that with looks like yours, you'd be better off trying to get by on personality?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

How many pairs of knickers do you possess?

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
How many pairs of knickers do you possess?

How many of them would consider wearing?

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

At gym class, when it was time to choose teams, name all the children that were chosen before you.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
At gym class, when it was time to choose teams, name all the children that were chosen before you.

I can't remember the names of everyone in my year....

At what age did you realise that your life was going to be worthless?

Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on :

Justify your existence

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

How old were you when someone first told you you looked good for your age?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

When did it all go wrong?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

How many people have told you you've gained weight?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

How many times have you gone upstairs, only to have forgotten why you went?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

What flavour of ice cream tastes changes its taste the most after the addition of tears?

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

How many better-qualified people turned down your job before your employers realised they'd no choice but to give it to you?

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

Why do you still give a shit?

AG

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

Your password: a totem of the sense of personal integrity, character and meaning which seems so absent from corporeal existence.

[ 06. October 2015, 11:14: Message edited by: mark_in_manchester ]

Posted by Trudy Scrumptious (# 5647) on :

Which song most reminds you of that summer you lost faith in your dreams?

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

When do you think you might actually be able to remember your password for this website, instead of constantly having to answer these inane questions to reset it?

Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :

How in your opinion is humanity most likely to wipe itself out?

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

[Killing me]

That's me sorted - no more old car registrations, from now on it's 'dyinginaseaofourownexcretalikeabunchofyeastinasealeddemijohn'. Better try it on one of those 'how strong is your password' routines.

[ 06. October 2015, 15:10: Message edited by: mark_in_manchester ]

Posted by Snags (# 15351) on :

In whose bathroom did you first vow never to drink again?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

On which bank holiday did you first go to a garden centre of your own volition?

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

[My wife would substitute "steam railway" for "garden centre" in the above].

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Why don't you just change them all to password, and accept that you are a loser.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

What's "loser" in Swahili?

Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on :

When did you first realise you were going to die friendless and alone ?

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

Why do you bother?

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

What is your most pointless ambition?

Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :

If you died unexpectedly how long would it take before someone discovered your body?

Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :

Which of your few friends is likely to abandon you next?

(Btw, I think I might have woken my neighbours up laughing at this thread!)

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

How often do you wake up uncertain what day it is?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

How did it come to this?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

What are the 1st, 3rd and 5th letters of the word you use to describe the feeling in your stomach when you've been rejected from a job application?

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Which is worse, your own disappointment with your children or your parents disappointment with you?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Name a person who **does** give a damn.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

What aspects of your life would a theodicy fail to justify?

Posted by Snags (# 15351) on :

In honour of Adeodatus:

At what age did you realise that you always laugh alone?

Posted by jrw (# 18045) on :

What were you thinking!?

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

What is the name of the girl in 8th grade who had perfect hair, perfect eyelashes, a bosom, and the love of the boy you had a crush on, and who beat you out for the soprano lead in "The Pirates of Penance" and you were consigned to being her understudy?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

How many tea bags are in your tin?

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
What is the name of the girl in 8th grade who had perfect hair, perfect eyelashes, a bosom, and the love of the boy you had a crush on, and who beat you out for the soprano lead in "The Pirates of Penance" and you were consigned to being her understudy?

You know that girl you tried to date, who was witty, beautiful, very sexy, successful and you still have the most impossible crush on? Name her husband.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

Name of the refrigerator repairman who bears a disquieting resemblance to your youngest child.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Sipech: What are the 1st, 3rd and 5th letters of the word you use to describe the feeling in your stomach when you've been rejected from a job application?

LOL, my word only has four letters.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

What was the date when you stopped beating your wife?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

To whom do you dedicate your errors?

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

How many buttons on your TV remote control are you scared to touch?

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

What was the name of the department store where you stole record albums as a pre-teen?

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

How many times have you been cautioned by the police?

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

On which street did you first realise that life is nothing more than a meaningless series of chemical reactions and everyone who had ever told you differently only did so because they wanted something from you?

Posted by earrings (# 13306) on :

What is "the last thing that you would want to do"?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

Which charity shop did you donate your clothes to when you realised that they no longer fitted?

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

Which of your cats do you suspect keeps vomiting on your pillow?

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Which charity shop dustbins do you get your clothes from?

Posted by Jack o' the Green (# 11091) on :

What age were you when you said - and completely mispronounced - word 'hyperbole' in public for the first time, having only read it in books for many years.

Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :

How much would you have to be paid to sell out every value and dream you've ever had?

Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Snags:
In honour of Adeodatus:

At what age did you realise that you always laugh alone?

... Oh.

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

When did you realize that the garbage goes out more often than you?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

How long have you been bullied by your cats?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Do you believe that doing the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

What does love make the world go round?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Name the two kinds of people that are in this world.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

What are the saddest words of tongue or pen?

[ 18. October 2015, 16:54: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

What is your favourite form of execution?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Which food would you die rather than eat?

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

Why bother?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

What is the world coming to?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

How slim did you use to be?

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Why were you even born, anyway?

Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :

What is the name of the sibling your mother loved more than you?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

On what day would you like to die?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

What was the worst thing that ever happened to you?

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0