Ship of Fools: Historical attitudes to remarriage in Free Churches in the 20th century

Thread: Historical attitudes to remarriage in Free Churches in the 20th century Board: Purgatory / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=020195

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

While watching Grantchester, with its non-canonical story about Chambers and Amanda taking him away from the Church, I recalled being told by mother that our church, the Congregational Church (before joining with the Presbyterians) occasionally allowed weddings between people who had been divorced. Presumably if they could convince the church that they were in a good state with regard to their faith, and not just wanting a church wedding.
But I was challenged about this, because low churches can be very strong about adherence to the belief that remarriage cannot be justified.
So I am not sure of my memory. Can anyone confirm or deny what I think I recall?

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

I've read that at one time second marriages were more common in the British Methodist Church than first marriages, because divorcees could remarry there when the CofE routinely turned them down.

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

Just to clarify the above: there are far fewer Methodist weddings than CofE weddings in any case, because the CofE is the default for non-churchgoers in England. And due to ageing in the demination (see the thread about the demerits of MOTR churches) the number of young(ish) Methodists seeking to solemnise first marriages in Methodist churches has also dropped over time.

This being so, it's easy to see how demand from non-Methodist divorcees would have overtaken demand from people getting married for the first time. But I suspect that the relaxation of the CofE's rules (and especially the modern preference for non-Christian ceremonies) has reduced the demand for Methodist weddings.

Posted by M. (# 3291) on :

Penny S, I know of at least one couple where that was the case.

M.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

I can't remember the source, but I encountered once an old newspaper report of a wedding between a prominent local widower somewhere and his late wife's sister after that had been legalised (1907) but at a time when most CofE clergy would not solemnise such weddings. For that reason, the wedding had taken place in a in a Methodist chapel even though I don't think the couple had up until then been Methodists. The report made great play of the widespread public support for the couple in the community.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
I've read that at one time second marriages were more common in the British Methodist Church than first marriages, because divorcees could remarry there when the CofE routinely turned them down.

I have certainly picked up a number of couples over the years who were refused marriage in the parish church - not so many lately, though!

My own view is that people who want to marry for a second time (rather than just live together) are usually extremely serious about their commitment.

[ 29. May 2017, 08:32: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by mr cheesy (# 3330) on :

Many decades ago, I recall a long-divorced woman was refused permission to marry in the baptist church of my youth where she was a long-standing member. There was such disquiet about her holding hands with the man-who-wasn't-her-husband during services that she was essentially hounded out.

I've no idea where she went.

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

I've also remembered that last year I went to the wedding of one of my father's relatives.

The woman in question had, so my father estimates, already been married twice. The service was held in a Baptist church (probably due to its size) but the bride was a Seventh Day Adventist, as was her groom. I'm not sure if the wedding was conducted by a Baptist or an Adventist, but there seemed to be a number of clergy present.

I have a number of Adventist relatives. They're very particular about their distinctive doctrines, but less so about marriage, it seems. A younger cousin of mine has been divorced and married twice, both times in the SDAC I should think, and remains a very prominent member of her congregation.

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

A correction: my young cousin hasn't been divorced twice, only once.

I also know a Pentecostal lady who divorced one Pentecostal pastor and later married another. I don't know how scandalous her divorce or subsequent remarriage were at the time, but her second husband remained in the ministry. Both of them are fairly old now.

Posted by Jengie jon (# 273) on :

Right

Congregationalists were unsurprisingly Congregational about this. That is some congregations would have and some congregations would not have. Often each case would have been considered individually. It has to be recalled that historically Congregationalist only offered marriage to members. Therefore all marriages were subject to the pastoral integrity of being a member*. Equally, it was also a matter of ministerial conscience. Actually still is.

Jengie

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

I think it was a Congregational church that married Stephen Verney, late suffragan Bishop of Repton, and his second wife; Stephen, then a Canon of Windsor was a widower and his bride a divorcee, hence no CofE wedding.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Thanks Jengie, that was what I thought the situation was. But it was a time ago, and I'm out of touch.

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0