Thread: Scene 2: Elizabeth has a Visitor Board: Nativity Play / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
Ooooh, that shade of blue really compliments your complexion...

Afternoon in a town with no name somewhere in the hill country of Judea. Tinkles of delicate girlish laughter issue from a nearby house.

[ 10. December 2002, 19:51: Message edited by: Director ]
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
Recap

Ladies and gentlemen
Young children and old
Our tale has begun
The story unfolds

Mary has heard
She will give birth
To God the Saviour
Of all the earth

She finally got
Gabriel's text
And at his message
Was most perplexed

She was amazed
By this great news
But, though a maiden,
She didn't refuse

So stay with us now
Pull up a pew
Believe it or not
Time for scene two

Scene 2

Now Mary's in the family way
What are the neighbours going to say

She wonders now just how to act
(The situation will take tact)

So off to see her cousin Liz
To ask her what the best plan is

(She's six month's gone herself, you know,
Long past the stage it starts to show).

With sage wise words and good advice
She'll curse all men and call them lice

For girlfriends know just what to say
All aided by some Chardonnay
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*soundtrack of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'*
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Giggles
So I said to him, I said, Look Joey, I said, you know I'm a good girl. What are you implying? Honestly Liz, who does he think he is? I mean to say.....

Oh go on then... just another glass. Want an After Eight?
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Um, what's with this wine crap? Can we get some real liquor down here, please?
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Deep sigh

You know, Liz, this being preggers isn't all it's cracked up to be, either. Have you got any indigestion mints?... one of these babies isn't all that meek and mild.
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
I heard that!

*kick*
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
<Sotto voce>

You mean we've got Gabriel tonight but no Elizabeth.

Gabriel - busk something.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Er... Liz? Are you all right in there?

knocks on the bathroom door

Liz?? Liz?????
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Er chaps, Elizabeth ain't showing. Can we play something to cover the situation?

Great suggestion: Don't Let it Show by the Alan Parsons Project for Mary...

Remind me why I hired you?
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat wanders in, sniffs delicately at the snacks. anything interesting here?*

prrrrttt? mrrrit.

[ 10. December 2002, 20:21: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
*Lord, love a duck! ... sends indigestion mints onstage for Virgin Mary....
I thought that cat was out of commission!*
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
<From the prompt box>

Psstt, Mary - do the "My soul doth maginify.." bit.

And keep it going.

I'll try to find some musicians to fill in for a while.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Oh cat gingerly strokes cat, it looks like just you and me, then.

I come here for a girl's night in with my cousin Liz...a few drinks, a good old natter, and Mr Darcy on the video... and she ends up locked in the lavatory. I told her that curry last night wasnt' a good idea!

Mum's in a huff with me and won't reply to my texts, I've had a row with Joseph - honestly, who does that man think he is? - and I've got parrot droppings all over my nice new blue dress.

Oh, and I don't know what that baby's up to but I wish she'd sweetly sleep and not stir quite so much. I don't know, I think she could play f**tb*ll for England when she grows up, the way she's going on.
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
<Sotto voce>

Last night we couldn't move for sheep - where are they now?

We could at least do "Mary had a little lamb".

<Gives up a futile struggle and heads for the whisky bottle again>
 

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Posted by Tealady (# 3713) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Narrator:

<Gives up a futile struggle and heads for the whisky bottle again>

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quote:

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Originally posted by Musical Director:
Er chaps, Elizabeth ain't showing. Can we play something to cover the situation?

Great suggestion: Don't Let it Show by the Alan Parsons Project for Mary...

Remind me why I hired you?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tealady:
That's another fifteen quid, please dearie... Sorry? Well it doesn't LOOK like you've started...

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<Hands over notes and takes bottle into corner>
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wanders to the doorway, looks inside, wonders why the cat's getting his belly stroked.

Baaaaaaaaa!
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*the cat, who is perfectly willing to be friendly if just treated with proper respect, purrs looudly*

puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........
 

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Posted by Angel 2 (# 3710) on :
 
Angel 2 appears on stage, realises no one is going to ask her to sing and sits down against a tree muttering to herself.

Here I am all hale and hearty,
those other angels went off to a party.
I think I'll sit and wait to see,
what I can do, what about me/
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Someone should have told me we were doing bloomin' Noah's Ark...
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Wanders nonchanantly back stage with percussion and wand*

Whistles
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wanders into the room, grabs some cheese from the snack table, then settles down for a nap. All that sheep fighting in the previous scene has made Rudolph tired.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Do you know, cat. I'd be feeling really blessed among women if I didn't have this terrible indigestion. God's been pretty good to me, you know... I mean, I know everyone's talking about me behind my back, gossiping and saying I'm no better than I should be. But despite all that, God is my Saviour and he's done me a real honour choosing me to be the mummy for his ickle baby son. Tickles cat indulgently under chin All those stuck up tittle tattles around the town, he'll soon shut them up. Did he pick one of them? No.. not on your nelly. Probably not a proper virgin among them, you know. No, he picked me, his humble handmaiden. Not bad, eh? You know, I bet people will be talking about this for months!!!!

HEY LIZ... ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT IN THERE?
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Drops percussion on floor*

Sorry.....
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 


(Didn't this pathetic crew ever hear of Understudies?)
 

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Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
*Drops percussion on floor*

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OUCH!

[Fixed quote]

[ 10. December 2002, 20:55: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:

quote:

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Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
*Drops percussion on floor*

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OUCH!

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quote:

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Originally posted by chief stage manager:


(Didn't this pathetic crew ever hear of Understudies?)

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Mary grabs the stage manager and drags her, struggling valiently, onto the stage.

Oh Liz... THERE you are! I thought you'd abandoned me! Gosh, you've put some weight on, coz!
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3, having just wandered onto the set to nibble the new scenery, is startled by the loud noise from the orchestra pit and bolts across the stage, knocking down Mary on the way.]

Baaa-aaaaa!

Baaaaaaaaaaa.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Hmmmm..... I've heard sheepskin is just the thing for keeping ickle babies warm.....
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wakes up, wonders who's making all that racket. Thinking Sheep 3 needs to cut down on the caffeine.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Bored with having nothing to do as yet lifts up skirt and removes obe of the hip flasks strapped to her thigh*

That's better - now I'm ready for action
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Oh Liz... THERE you are! I thought you'd abandoned me! Gosh, you've put some weight on, coz!

---

Nonsense, I weigh an anorexic amount and I'm lacking any pillow stuffing!
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Grabs a stray sheep and rams it into stage manager's overalls

Oh Liz... you have put on weight! I could swear you were pregnant too, if I didn't know you and Zech are past it.
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
Yeah, I'll bet you thought we didn't still do it, did ya?

Little do you know, I have a surprise of my own......
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
[ Liz runs on stage, quite, quite, frazzled ]

I'm here! I'm here! Sorry I'm late but I had a bit of a difficult time getting here today. I slipped on a patch of ice and fell and it was not pleasant....sorry, where were we?

[ takes swig of Bombay Sapphire from bottle, then hiddes it under her maternity robe again ]
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Mutters

Strange looking baby that's all I can say

Typical country folk
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
So come on, sit yourself down, Liz. Pour another glass of wine and I'll get the Maltesers out and you can tell me all about it.
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
OUCH! That hurts!

Looks up to see who this strange person this sheep happens to be sharing a pair of overalls with.

Baaaaaaaaaa?
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
*Exits stage left......*

Tealady, I need a drink. I'll pay anything and everything. My nerves have been frayed to the last frazz!
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Ah! Two Lizzes???? And both pregnant!!! Hmmm....

shoves stage manager firmly back behind the curtain

Ah, Liz... there you are! Gosh you have put on weight!
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Dear, dear Mary! [Pours wine for both of them] It is so very good to see you again. I must say that shade of blue is very flattering on you!
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Come on Liz, sit down and have a Malteser. It's just getting to the good bit on Pride and Prejudice, and I want to hear all your news.
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Backstage, jumps out of stage manager's overalls, shakes self off, looking quite frazzled. Runs across stage, into audience.

Baaaaaaa! Baaaaaaaaaa!
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Oh, well, as you can probably notice, I'm six months along. It's been ever so dreadful-boring around here! Zechy hasn't spoken since that angel took his voice away for doubting that I was indeed with child. He called me too old. Imagine! I think I need another Malteser.

And you, my dear, have put on a little weight as well!
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Calls out from wings*

Here Mary - is that the bit where Darcy's just been swimming and he's all wet and gorgeous?
 

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Posted by Tealady (# 3713) on :
 
From far away there is a sound of rattling wheels. As it gets closer and closer it gets louder and louder and faster and faster. From stage left the tea trolley appears doing about 30mph. The Tealady, lying flat across its top shelf, sticks out both hands and swipes the bottles from the hand of Elizabeth and the ... nether regions... of the Fairy Godmother. Trolley zooms off stage right. Squeal of wheels and smell of burning rubber

Here you are CSM. Let's say fifty quid for the pair of them, shall we?
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Oh, tealady? That's my Bombay Sapphire!
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
Deal. Thanks.

*Rapidly gulps down both.*
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
But Liz, I thought you and Zech were too old for that sort of thing. I mean, people over 23 don't actually.. er...well... you know... do they????
But congratulations... What does that make me? Second cousin once removed?

But anyway, you're right. I've got some real news... you'll never guess what!!!!!
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
*Calls out from wings*

Here Mary - is that the bit where Darcy's just been swimming and he's all wet and gorgeous?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tealady:
From far away there is a sound of rattling wheels. As it gets closer and closer it gets louder and louder and faster and faster. From stage left the tea trolley appears doing about 30mph. The Tealady, lying flat across its top shelf, sticks out both hands and swipes the bottles from the hand of Elizabeth and the ... nether regions... of the Fairy Godmother. Trolley zooms off stage right. Squeal of wheels and smell of burning rubber

Here you are CSM. Let's say fifty quid for the pair of them, shall we?

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What the...?

Oi you come back with me hip flasks you thieving toe rag

My best spirits as well..

Still she never got these two

*Rumages in bodice*
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Giggles with innocent excitement

You'll never guess... never ever ever....
 

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Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
Right - here i am - late as usual! I've been "fear notting" elsewhere. Is there anything else for me to do or shall I just sit and wait for next year?
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Hi Gabriel, I got your text. Thanks!
Pull up a chair and pour out another glass of wine... Liz is just trying to guess my news.

Do you like my dress, by the way?
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Sorry, Gabriel, this is ladies' drinking and watching Pride and Prej. night.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Wanders on stage to join the girly night in*

Has it got to that bit yet then?

*Passes one of her bottles to Elizabeth*

Mind you neither of you should be drinkin' in your condition

[ 10. December 2002, 21:29: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 

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Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
Come on girls - get your act together - do I join you or not?
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Wait I take it back. Gabriel can stay!
 

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Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Enters stage left with a flat square cardboard box and proceeds to ring the doorbell of Elizabeth's house]
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
There's someone at the door, Liz.
Gabe, go and see who it is, there's a love.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
If it's selling summat I'm not interested

*waves wand*

See I can wish it I can
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
[ Elizabeth rushes to the door ]

Greetings to you, stranger! I would offer you some Bombay Sapphire as a gesture of good will if I had any [eyes tealady]
 

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Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
OK - I get the message! I'm off with the lads down the dog & duck! Txt me if you need me.
 

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Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Did you ladies order a spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, lamb and spam pizza?
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Yes
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
No wait Gabriel! Are you sure you don't want a Malteser?
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gabriel:
OK - I get the message! I'm off with the lads down the dog & duck! Txt me if you need me.

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quote:

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Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Did you ladies order a spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, lamb and spam pizza?

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No doubt with anchovies, olives and strawberry jam toppings seeing the condition of these two
 

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Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
Maltesers - those balls coated in chocolate - not likely!! And Old Peculiar - no room for anything more peculiar in here at the moment

[ 10. December 2002, 21:36: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 

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Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
Unfortunately we're out of lamb, and you gave the wrong mobile number, so I've prepared spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam . Hope that's ok.
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Fifteen quid?!! Oh, for the love of -

[ hands it over ]
 

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Posted by Tealady (# 3713) on :
 
Drat. Can't trust the plots these days.. Alright, I'll send 'em in on a sheep. Rudolph? Are you still here?
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Unfortunately we're out of lamb, and you gave the wrong mobile number, so I've prepared spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam . Hope that's ok.

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quote:

---

Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Unfortunately we're out of lamb, and you gave the wrong mobile number, so I've prepared spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam . Hope that's ok.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
*ahem* - It's £15 plus delivery plus tip.

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You must be kidding!!! Here's your £15, and the tip is.... don't interrupt two pregnant women and one fairy Godmother while they're watching Pride and Prejudice and demand money if you value your life.

Go with God.
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Oh, here's your money! Fifteen quid. Now wont you stay for supper?
 

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Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
But ... that cardboard box is worth at least 50p.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
*ahem* - It's £15 plus delivery plus tip.

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Well seeing as the tealady sold out bottles for £50 she can pay for the grub
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
hmmm...... you seem to have got two lots of £15 there, I'd be off while the going's good!
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Looks around, confused. Sticks nose in the pizza. Wonders what this spam stuff is

Munch, munch.
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
They make you pay for your own boxes? I would seek another line of employment if I were you.
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 ambles onto the stage, nibbles a bit of scenery in the rear, and then settles down to chew her cud and stare at the audience.]
 

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Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Runs off into the audience with £30. Stupid women]
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Okay what moron ordered the spam? I don't want it here, so back up it goes!
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Oh, sheep! Start behaving or I will feel compelled to try out my new leg of mutton recipe very soon!
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
*grabs bucket and rushes to Elizabeth onstage*
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Just press PAUSE a moment will you, Liz.... I just need to.....

Mary runs out and rather unpleasant sound effects are heard from just offstage.

There is a pregnant pause.

She returns, her blue dress complimenting her pale and greenish complexion

I think I'll pass on the spam.
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Why are you rushing to me, dear manager? I'm not the one carrying Jesus' evil twin.
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Yikes! What's that smell?

Runs off stage, knocking over stage manager
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
Elizabeth - you were supposed to hold the bucket for Mary - glad she made it offstage. I didn't have such good luck last night.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Ooops, sorry Stage Manager, you were a little too late there....

Have you got some sawdust... you may need some just over there
 

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Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on :
 
[ Sheep 2, becoming very bored backstage, enters stage right and stops, staring stupidly at the audience. ]
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Oh, dear. You should have been more specific!!!!!!!!

I am in need of a good, stiff drink.
 

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Posted by Tealady (# 3713) on :
 
Neatly removes £15 from naughty boy as he rushes by.

Right dearies, I'm off to bank the takings. Given the gender balance of the cast tonight, I thought I'd leave Sven in charge of refreshments. He's tall blond and handsome, but not very talkative. He knows how to pour drinks though. And how to count the money...
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tealady:
Neatly removes £15 from naughty boy as he rushes by.

Right dearies, I'm off to bank the takings. Given the gender balance of the cast tonight, I thought I'd leave Sven in charge of refreshments. He's tall blond and handsome, but not very talkative. He knows how to pour drinks though. And how to count the money...

---

I won't be paying if he's in charge then
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
such is my lot in life...

*exits stage left to begin cleaning regurgitated spam....*
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
So Liz, have you guessed my news yet?
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*organist sees his chance and breaks into 'One Of Those People' by The Nice*

Keith! Stop that! We were meant to be doing some nondescript classical chamber stuff to go with D'Arcy's dashing...
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
My dear Mary, you look positively dreadful. [Fetches her a cup of tea] Drink this. It will make you feel better.
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tealady:
I thought I'd leave Sven in charge of refreshments. He's tall blond and handsome, but not very talkative. He knows how to pour drinks though.

---

The perfect man, and I'm stuck in HERE. Oh, I am NOT HAPPY about this AT ALL.
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
I just might have guessed your news ......
Oh, oh! Something had moved within you! Something wonderful is coming!......

[Takes another "sip" of wine]
 

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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
I'd have been in earlier if the little blue arrow hadn't kept sending me to the bottom of page 2!

So, how are we all getting on? Looks like a right old mothers' meeting.

<catches sight of video>

Ooh! I didn't know this was a bonnet drama party. And it's just coming up to the wet shirt bit, (my favourite).

Ahem! If you don't mind, I'll just disguise myself as a stray sheep and sort of...errumph...sit around for a while.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Oh Liz... you guessed far too soon.
And do you know something... Joe isn't the father.
There, I thought that'd get you thinking!!!!
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by St. Elizabeth:
I just might have guessed your news ......
Oh, oh! Something had moved within you! Something wonderful is coming!......

[Takes another "sip" of wine]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Um, what's with this wine crap? Can we get some real liquor down here, please?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by St. Elizabeth:
I just might have guessed your news ......
Oh, oh! Something had moved within you! Something wonderful is coming!......

[Takes another "sip" of wine]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 6:
Chorus of Angels:
"Oh, it's beer, beer, beer
that makes me want to cheer,
on the farm, on the farm!
Oh, it's beer, beer, beer
that makes me want to cheer
on the Palestinian hillside farm!

---

Better not let that tea lady hear you say that - shell swipe it all off you quick as a flash mark my words
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
That big honkin' amnio needle will work just fine...
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
But Liz, don't you see, it's just such wonderful news.
You know how I'm going to marry Joe and all that, but that I'd been keeping myself pure, as you do.
Well, this angel sent me a text.. you know, the fellow who popped round earlier this evening... no, no, not the pizza boy, the angel fellow ....well, he reckoned I'm going to have a baby without having to..well..er...you know... The baby's going to be God's baby... in fact I have a sneaking suspicion we may be talking twins here...and everyone's going to call me "That Blessed Mary"...and that's to say nothing of the parrot... and.....

...er....

...could I stay here for a few nights while the gossip dies down?
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Oh, Mary!!!

[suddenly acquires exorcist-like stare]

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!

You can stay here as long as you like. We've had enough wine. Bring on the martinis!
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
*sends amnio needle onstage*

I can't wait to see how they perform this!!
 

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Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
That big honkin' amnio needle will work just fine...

---

Gotcha (and got it), but which would you prefer?

Chorus of Angels:
Oh, it's ale, ale, ale
that makes me want to wail,
on the farm, on the farm!
Oh, it's ale, ale, ale
that makes me want to wail,
on the Palestinian hillside farm!


 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Gets up and brushes pizza crumbs onto the floor*

Right - seen the best bit ta so I'll be off.

*Saunters off stage and trips over percussion she dropped earlier*

Sorry - you carry on out there, never mind me
 

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Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
[Vision-state returns]

But wait..... there is something good and something evil coming....
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
I would actually prefer this drink this guy bought us the other night called (no lie) Two Alligators. But I have no idea what's in it, so I'll take some vodka. Thanks!
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Quick guys - Hallelujah Chorus, the double-time version!

Hallelujah! hallelujah. Ta da.
 

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Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
*knock, knock, knock!!!*
 

---

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat is eagerly scarfing dropped scraps of food.*

mrrrrrm.....
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Personally I've just decided that teetotal is going to be the best option for my wee infants. I'll just have a little Appletize to wash my folic acid tablet down, if you don't mind Liz.

Hey, don't you bring that needle anywhere near me!!!!
 

---

Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
[answers door]

Oh, my! Who have we here?
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
Quick guys - Hallelujah Chorus, the double-time version!

Hallelujah! hallelujah. Ta da.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
*knock, knock, knock!!!*

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Hey, don't you bring that needle anywhere near me!!!!

---

And the Angel said unto her, "There, there. This won't hurt a-tall -- but it WILL make the Evil Twin a little more agreeable for a few hours!"

Angel Chorus:
Oh, it's whisky, whisky, whisky
that makes me feel so frisky,
on the farm, on the farm!
Oh, it's whisky, whisky, whisky
that makes me feel so frisky,
on the Palestinian hillside farm!


 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
I believe I just heard one of you ladies speaking about someone "evil"? Iwas just passing by, and would like to offer my services.

I also tend to discourage gossiping amongst simple towns-folks.
 

---

Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Here's your appletize, Mary.

Oh, who is our visitor? The one with the sword?
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*stable cat has just reached the pepperoni*

haaaaack.......

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by St. Elizabeth:
Here's your appletize, Mary.

Oh, who is our visitor? The one with the sword?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Waves at Tealady...

Do you happen to have anything with peppermint, my good merchant?

---

I think I've got a little schnapps here if you want it, kiddo. And, unlike the Tea Lady, the angels don't charge for the goodies!

Angel Chorus:
Oh, it's rum, rum, rum
that makes me want to hum,
on the farm, on the farm!
Oh, it's rum, rum, rum
that makes me want to hum,
on the Palestinian hillside farm!


 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
Let's have a bit of The Philosophers' Drinking Song, eh? It seems the right time...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Thank you ma'ams.

<bows deeply and elegantly>

Is there a problem with something evil that you need help fighting?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 6:
I think I've got a little schnapps here if you want it, kiddo. And, unlike the Tea Lady, the angels don't charge for the goodies!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
Ah, that was good! Any special requests, as we're in a 'drunken singing' type mood?

---

There's always the hedgehog song...
 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
JK lets two sotted pregnant ladies lean on hi/her strong shoulders. Walks them to the fine Natuzzi leather sofa with tufted arm rests.

Fairy Godmother, I can probably use something in my utility belt to "encourage" the sheep to go to pasture.
 

---

Posted by Techie1 (# 3688) on :
 
Turns Elizabeth's mike waaaaay down.

<stage whisper> Hey Teacart Lady... Up here... I need something to cool off... these lights are HOT!
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Excuse me, excuse me.

You seem to be forgetting that I am a sweet and innocent young thing, and there are children present.

I think I should sing "Ickle Jesus, sweetly sleep".

And please would somebody take this needle out of my belly? Please?
 

---

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
...Do you have...say...a gallon?

---

Sure, no prob!
(snaps angelic fingers; one of those water-cooler bottles of the finest peppermint schnapps magically appears)
Enjoy!

Angel Chorus:
Oh, it's wine, wine, wine
that makes me want to shine
on the farm, on the farm!
Oh, it's wine, wine, wine
that makes me want to shine
on the Palestinian hillside farm!
 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
Is there anything to eat besides spam, spam, spam and I believe there are a couple more varieties of spam pizza?

Oh, and the Surgeon General says it's not wise to drink while pregnant.
 

---

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat enthusiastically joins in singing*

YOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLL............
 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
Thanks Angel 6! You are indeed a messenger from The Most High!
 

---

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 


(Noting that Evil Twin is gently snoring in the womb, Angel 6 carefully removes needle and patches BVM's belly. Then she flies carefully up to the light crew with lots of frosty lager -- the crew are always beer drinkers by choice. Flying back down to stage -- center front, of course -- she sings a surprisingly tender and frankly gorgeous rendition of "Still, still, still." Then she flies off to have a drink herself; she's earned it.)


 

---

Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Oh, and the Surgeon General says it's not wise to drink while pregnant.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Thanks Angel 6! You are indeed a messenger from The Most High!

---

You know it, babe.

Shall we do something about that cat?


 

---

Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
*pssst - hey, Angel 6 - the needle, the needle. Don't fly off with the amnio needle..
 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
I keep forgetting, a Jedi sometimes sees the Future, the Past, old friends...long gone.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. You can have a nice home in the Jedi Temple...where you'll be appreciated!
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
Baaaaaaa.
 

---

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by chief stage manager:
*pssst - hey, Angel 6 - the needle, the needle. Don't fly off with the amnio needle..

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
...I think I ought to go and get some sleep. I still feel a bit dodgy after all that spam, you know. Liz, have you got a room ready for me?

---

Come along -- I'll tuck you in. Here, have some nice hot chocolate.

(Kicks sheep out of the bedroom, makes sure BVM is all comfy, turns down light, kicks sheep out again and locks door, with special anti-sheep device attached, behind her.)


 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

---

Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 


*kick*
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Having been kicked for no reason at all, Sheep 3 exits stage left, looking for those nice dressing rooms.]

Baaaaaa.
 

---

Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Good night, Mary!
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Turns over in her sleep so that the bulge which is Jesus's evil twin sister is squished firmly up against the ribcage and her feet, arms and head totally incapacitated

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

---

Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Hey! I can't move! I guess I'll just have to keep myself entertained by singing.

Oh... ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall,
ninety-nine bottles of beer,
take one down,
pass it around,
ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall.

Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall,
ninety-eight bottles of beeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr...
 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
Well, Liz...since your cousin has gone to sleep, I'm sure you're ready to hit the sack as well.

I shall bid you adieu (literally), and remember, if your evil what-zis bothers you, just let me know, and I will do what I do best!

<deep Jedi bow>

JK exits stage left, taking schnapps along with...
 

---

Posted by Techie1 (# 3688) on :
 
Lights out in three.... two... one...

Bzzzzzzzap!

<louder stage whisper>
Teacart Lady!!! Can I get a drink up here????

<mumbling to self> ...not appreciated.... just see how they like doing the @$%&* play in the dark...
 

---

Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
Who issued the command the kill the lights?

No bother, It's way past my dinnertime, anyhow.
 

---

Posted by St. Elizabeth (# 3679) on :
 
Aaahh! Where are the lights? Oh, dear. What to do now?

[Takes out a well-concealed hip flask]

Well, hasn't this been a fun, boozy day? Now to partake in some gin.

[finishes it before anyone can steal it!]
 

---

Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on :
 
(At this point Angel 3 is lowered down from on high. She has thoroughly enjoyed singing about all of her favourite drinks with Angel 6 plus Hallelujah chorus and Philosopher's drinking song very loudly. But now comes a more reflective moment. Now it is time to sing a lullaby for the two drunken so...er, ladies reclining at her feet. The stage is dimmed, a spotlight shines on her, nicely picking up the highlights in her wings. With harp obbligato, she begins, to the tune of "Away in a manger".)

"Away with a Stranger - what do you expect?
It's nine months of nausea and
It's not over yet.
Her poor feet are hurting and her varicose veins
Look like a roadmap of the outskirts of Staines.

Away with a Stranger - it's really too sad!
She's carrying twins and
One of them's bad.
But one is our Saviour and so she should choose
To do the right thing and cut out the booze.

Away with a Stranger - it's really quite fun!
She's marrying Joseph and
Won't be a nun.
She can't wait for Christmas! From all of us here:
Glad tidings to all and Bee_of_Good_Cheer!"

(Well satisfied with her evening's singing, Angel 3 bows deeply to her wildly cheering audience. Bouquets rain down - she grabs a couple and flies off stage right.)
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*a hush descends over the audience, as a lone oboe picks its way tenderly through the melodious strains of 'Sweetness Follows' by REM to string accompianment ... the Musical Director slips off quietly clutching his usual bottle ...*
 

---

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Techie1:
...Teacart Lady!!! Can I get a drink up here????...

---

For cryin' in a bucket, I flew all the way up there with an entire CASE of beer. What more do you want? (Flies up with an additional six-pack, mumbling about stagehands and their ilk.)

 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*Chief Angel slopes onto the stage trying to look inconspicuous*

Sorry, am I a bit late?

*Looks around herself and sees BVM is sleeping*

*Sings a beautiful, soft lullaby to send the Evil Twin to sleep too*

*Exit CSL*
 

---

Posted by Passer-by 3 (# 3711) on :
 
[Enter stage left. Exit stage right]
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*Finding the lullaby didn't work, the Chief Angel tries to work out how to get something louder piped to the Evil Twin without disturbing the BVM*
 

---

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Angel:
*Finding the lullaby didn't work, the Chief Angel tries to work out how to get something louder piped to the Evil Twin without disturbing the BVM*

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 6:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Techie1:
...Teacart Lady!!! Can I get a drink up here????...

---

For cryin' in a bucket, I flew all the way up there with an entire CASE of beer. What more do you want? (Flies up with an additional six-pack, mumbling about stagehands and their ilk.)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Techie1:
I am NOT a stagehand! I am a technician!

And besides... <mumbling> I couldn't find the beer in the dark... stupid primadona angel...

---

And WHOSE fault was it that it was dark....?

And I suppose there is a difference between technicians and stagehands: a stagehand would have smelled the beer and had half of it slogged down while the technician was still kvetching.

Please note that the Italian phrase you massacred is properly spelled "prima donna" and properly pronounced "prrrrrima donnnnnna." It means "first lady," and I don't qualify, being a supporting character in the first place, and an angel -- and therefore, virtually genderless -- in the second.

(Flies off regally)
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Looks up at departing angel.]

Baaaaaaaaaa.
 

---

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat slips quietly in with the bvm, snuggles up, and purrs herself to sleep*

puuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
Sheep 3 settles down wedged against the bedroom door (which opens out) and falls into a deep, deep sleep.

Baaa..... *sheep snoring sounds*......
 

---

Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on :
 
[ Sheep 2, being extremely bored and tired of chewing her cud, begins walking toward what she thinks is the curtain, but slips on the sheep plop and falls down on top of Sheep 3. ]
 

---

Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on :
 
Baaaaaaaaoomf!
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 gives a reflexive kick and nails Sheep 2 in the ribs, all without waking up.]

*ommmph-thud......snore.......*
 

---

Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Rudolph wanders on stage, wondering who's making all that noise. Spots a half-empty bottle of peppermint schnapps someone left behind.

<glug, glug, glug>

<nose lights up>

Satisfied, Rudolph spies a nice warm spot on the floor and goes to sleep.
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[The sleeping sheep dream that a host of angels appear over them, singing:

We are po-oo-or lit-tle sheep
Who have lo-o-ost our wa-a-ay.

Baaa. BAAAA. Baaaaaaaaaa!]
 

---

Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :
 
We're missing three sheep. Has anyone...

Spots an inebriated mini-flock

I don't believe this! We're out in that field all night freezing our socks off and you're in here keeping warm & comfortable!

Shepherd yawns, stretches and uses Sheep 2 as a pillow
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
<strikes up the mandolin version of "Morning has broken" to wake up Mary, Elizabeth and everyone else.>

I'm back...... bugger, who stood on my violin?

<glares at sheep 3>

Just wait 'til I get my hands on you
You'll be shish kebab faster than you can say "baaaa"

<whistles up Techie 1, some Araldite and some cat-gut, and mends the violin>

Aha, that's better - let's try a few experimental open strings... yes...much better. How about a note to tune from?
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
C'mon peoples, wakey, wakey....

Maybe not then.

Tealady, can I have a cuppa and a bacon and egg buttie please, while everyone else is waking up?
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
You need to tune up? Here's a middle C:

me me meeeee me me mememememe meeeeeeeeeeeeee

Humility is my middle name...
 

---

Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on :
 
In 4 BC a team of crack shepherds was sent to prison by a Roman court for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped from impending crucifixion to the Bethlehem underground. Today, still wanted by the Romans, they survive as shepherds of fortune. If you have a sheep problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the S-Team.

Come on sheep let's go, come on now let's be having you, there you go into the pen, there now that's you all now, great.

Damn - we need a sheep dog
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Yawns, stretches, yawns again...and turns a slight shade of green

Morning Liz... I think I'll pass on the bacon butties if you don't mind, I'm feeling a little....

Jumps out of bed, wraps herself in her fluffy blue dressing gown but doesn't hang around for the slippers, and exits stage left in a rather less than serene hurry
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
Mr Musical Director, I am slightly disturbed to discover that you don't appear to know that violins and mandolins, (and the rest of an orchestral string section) tune to A (440), not to middle C.

Please tell me that this was an early morning aberration, and that you gave me a middle C by accident. My confidence in you is ever-so slightly shaky.

(Fortunatetly my pitch is good enough to be able to tune from your dodgy middle C though).

Anyhow, what are we playing next? How about "there's a hole in my bucket" especially for Mary and Liz?
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Apologies, Assorted Strings, of course I made a mistake. But what else do you expect at 9:56 in the morning? I am still trying to tune my hosepipe in Bb...

Here's your A:

A
 

---

Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Oooooohhh... my head... who is making all that racket out there? Yo, string boy, SHUT UP!
 

---

Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :
 
Spare Shepherd, hearing of the appeal for a sheep dog, brings in Blossom, her imaginary wee poodle. "Will this help us all, as we gather the sheep together? A small, yapping, imaginary puppy dpg? Or will she just add to the general confusion?"

The Spare Shepherd has a small intellect, but a great imagination.
 

---

Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 
angel 5 looks in at the scene with intrest, realising that she has missed most of the scene...
she wanders to the chief angel, right across the stage.
 

---

Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Mmmmm... yappy dog: it's what's for dinner.
 

---

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*yapping dog? stable cat rolls over in disgust, covers ears with paws to hide the disgusting sound, and purrs self to sleep again*

purrrrrrrr.....
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 

quote:

---

posted by the Musical DIrector:
Here's your A:

A

---

Thank you, kind Sir, that's much better.

quote:

---

Posted by Jesus' evil twin
Oooooohhh... my head... who is making all that racket out there? Yo, string boy, SHUT UP!

---

That's string girl to you! Anyhow, I thought you'd appreciate the wake-up call/cat strangle so you could create merry whatsit..
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
I've had a request for 'How Much is that Doggy in the Window' but I think they potential buyer wants it for culinary purposes, so we'll skip it if you don't mind...

Instead I suggest a rousing rendition of 'Morning Has Broken' with Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on rap breaks...
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
Instead I suggest a rousing rendition of 'Morning Has Broken' with Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on rap breaks...

---

No... no... please please no!!! it's only 12.07 for goodness sakes, and I need a lie in, oh how I need a lie in. Please please please don't get that baby moving again - I've hardly slept a wink all night. Oh, why me?????
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 

quote:

---

posted by the Musical Director:
Instead I suggest a rousing rendition of 'Morning Has Broken' with Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on rap breaks...

---

That's what I suggested ages ago! But jazzed up is much better! I can even do mandolin tremoloes now.
 

---

Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 
morning has broken,
so have the windows
blackbird has spoken
then been shot dead
with a machete
by the director
oh what a lovely
morning it is
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
Angel 5, have you been subject to the influences of Jesus' evil twin?
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*Stage whispers:* Any Angels out there?

After three:

The news has broken
Gabriel has spoken
He said the babies
Were not Joseph's
He said that they're God's
New recreations
But (here's the best bit),
He did it by text.

Now Mary's gone off
To see her cousin
They spent all last night
Drinking too much
Then they ate pizza
(E.T does not like spam;
But she likes drinking
Needle-fed booze)

Gabriel came to
See what they were doing
But he did not stay
As he's not a GIRL
The fairy GM did
And watched Mr Darcy
But she soon left as
M and L puked

The News has broken
Gossip is raging
Mary is preggers
Don't know who's the dad
But what is certain
Is that she's not well
The babies keep kicking
Her food back up



*Chief begins to blush as she realises that it's lunchtime and no-one's going to keep their food down now*

Angels are flying
Down from the rafters
To tell the news that
God is to blame
He got her preggers
(It may stop the rumours)
You'll see the result
Sometime next week

*Glad she found the last verse, Chief Angel leads any remaining angels off USR*


 

---

Posted by Gift of Gold (# 3668) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
I've had a request for 'How Much is that Doggy in the Window' but I think they potential buyer wants it for culinary purposes, so we'll skip it if you don't mind...

---

Awwwh, I know the actions to that one, tsk!

quote:

---

Instead I suggest a rousing rendition of 'Morning Has Broken' with Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on rap breaks...

---

Oh well, looks like it's going to be steppin' and windmills for the time being. Beats Christian interpretive dancing (with flag) any day.

Gold body pops her way across the back of the stage while Chief Angel is hangin' in da hood

Ooh I think I've done something funny to my back!
 

---

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :
 
Hop over here, Gold, and I'll take a look at it..
 

---

Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
(voice floats out of the Tour Bus parked just backstage)

...well the phones are shot since the sheep came through here, but the radar, GPS, and radio telescopes are working again now. I don't want to bother anyone, but there seems to be some stellar disturbance shaping up in the fifty-fourth quadrant, looks like it's heading this way. I have no idea what those rays might do to pregnant ladies... maybe Jedi Knight can bring some of his wisdom on this... hello, anyone?...
 

---

Posted by Gift of Gold (# 3668) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by First-aider:
Hop over here, Gold, and I'll take a look at it..

---

ooo, ow! ahhh. Thats better.
 

---

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :
 
Just try not to strain too much, okay?
Would you like a Mr Men plaster?
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tour Manager:
(voice floats out of the Tour Bus parked just backstage)

...well the phones are shot since the sheep came through here, but the radar, GPS, and radio telescopes are working again now. I don't want to bother anyone, but there seems to be some stellar disturbance shaping up in the fifty-fourth quadrant, looks like it's heading this way. I have no idea what those rays might do to pregnant ladies... maybe Jedi Knight can bring some of his wisdom on this... hello, anyone?...

---

*Chief angel heads in the direction of the tour bus*

Sounds like some kind of meteor shower to me. And if it is, we shouldn't be worrying rays, more like lumps of rock falling from on high. Still, I expect if you ask any one of those passing star-gazers, they might be able to shed some light on it for you...

*Chief Angel makes a sharp exit before TBM has time to throw something her way (eg a wobbly)*
 

---

Posted by Gift of Gold (# 3668) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by First-aider:
Just try not to strain too much, okay?
Would you like a Mr Men plaster?

---

Yes please!!
All better now.
 

---

Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Assorted Strings:
That's string girl to you! Anyhow, I thought you'd appreciate the wake-up call/cat strangle so you could create merry whatsit..

---

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