Thread: Scene 3: The Wise Men Discover the Star Board: Nativity Play / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
This week's horoscope

So Mary and Elizabeth are both rapidy expanding, and Joseph seems to have taken an extended leave of absence. Meanwhile, on the forest moon of Endor...
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
There once was a Magi called Balthasar,
Who thought he had spotted a death-star.
He said, "Follow the light,
Von Daniken's right,
A spaceship's turned up in Judea.

There once was a Magi called Casper,
Who gazed up at the sky in great wonder.
He cried, "This marvellous thing
Speaks of a great King.
A Jedi in a tie-fighter."

There once was a Magi called Melchior,
Who couldn't believe what he saw.
He packed up a gift,
Gave the others a lift,
"It's the aliens I've always hoped for."

There once was a Magi called Phil.
History has taken against him quite ill;
Right out of the script
His story's been ripped
And no-one has heard of him still.
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Enter dragon quietly

Twinkle twinkle little star
wise men follow where you are
make the most of your brief fame
soon we'll all forget your name
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wanders across the meadow, with a slight hangover

Baaaaaa! Baaaaaaaa!
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
twinkle twinkle 3 wise men
forgotten to turn up again?
perhaps it would be some surprise
to know that folk still call you "wise"...
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
<Sotto voce>

What do you mean, lost?

Gone to Jerusalem by mistake?

How many times have they been told?
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
People see your ornate dress
mistaking it for cleverness
they do not know what lies within
they only listen to the spin
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
you 3 kings at such great cost
worked out your journey - and got lost...
Hey, hear the clapping, loud and slow,
now we all wait for you to show
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 wanders on-stage, joins Red-nosed Sheep in staring up at a stage light.]

Baaaaa.

[ 11. December 2002, 20:30: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
So they left all their realms behind,
to foreign travel keen inclined,
now, lost, tired out, not nearly there,
they're even worse than Tony Blair...
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Now I have got no cunning plan
to sort out this blank space I see
cos I am a republican
kings don't excite my sympathy
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
What did I hear, you have, ahem,
alighted in Jerusalem?
Have you been drinking too much beer?
That ruddy star is over here
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
OK, OK, I'll start 'Why are we waiting'

And don't shout at me - I told them all to be onstage! Tuh, you cant get the Magi nowadays...
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
To keep us waiting is not nice
(at least there was no ticket price)
but all this talking hoarsens me
I'm gonna make a cuppa tea

Exit dragon in direction of kitchen
 

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Posted by Joseph (# 3666) on :
 
Meanwhile Joseph toils in his carpenter shop, carefully preparing a chair for old Mrs Wolfstein with the bad back. He also puts some finishing touches to a sign saying:

I'M WAITING FOR A SCENE FEATURING ME TO HAPPEN!
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Joseph:
I'M WAITING FOR A SCENE FEATURING ME TO HAPPEN!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Musical Director:

quote:

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Originally posted by Joseph:
I'M WAITING FOR A SCENE FEATURING ME TO HAPPEN!

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Well make sure you turn up tomorrow night then!

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I plan to, matey. I was just responding to the "Joseph seems to have taken an extended leave of absence."

Anyway, why am I discussing this with a "musical" director?! Where's the real director?

Oy.
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
(that's the first laugh I've had from all these sheep!)
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
TXT 2 JOE
AM STAYING WIV LIZ A FEW MNTHS
HOPE U R OK
HAV MRNIN SCKNSS : (
CANT W8 2 C U AGAIN
LUV MARY
(VIRGIN)
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wonders over to the orchestra pit, wonders why Sheep 3 is lying on top of a violin player.

Wanders around stage looking for anyone with food or beverages.

Baaaaaaaaa!
 

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Posted by Joseph (# 3666) on :
 
HI BVM
HOPE ALLZ WELL
IM HVNG GR8 TIME
WD B EVN GR8R WTH U
C U SOON!

(WHERE R THE %^&*ING WISE MEN?)
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 scrambles out the orchestra pit, stepping on a mandolin in the process, and runs into the wood shed to hide for a while.]

Baaa.
 

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Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :
 
roars up to joe's place. (leaves 7 foot skidmark and a small puddle of oil... sorry!)

yo, joe
be of good cheer.

those wise guys'll be around just in time with some dough and stuf. here's a broken mandolin that needs fixin. think you can handle it?
 

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Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on :
 
Sheep 1 finally plucks up courage to wander out on stage, having spent the last 24 hours lying low due to the various murderous, slanderous and sheep-baiting comments being bandied about by certain cast and audience members. Decides to look for the other sheep, and make sure that Rudolph isn’t joining in any of the sheep games.


Baaaa

Exits stage left.
 

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Posted by Wise Man 2 (# 3654) on :
 
Dashing in from the dark of the night, telescope in hand ....

Brrrr, it's cold out there. Really cold. True brass monkeys weather. What on earth possessed me to take up a job requiring me to sit around outside on cold, dark nights? Now that wasn't very wise was it
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
I've had my tea and now I'm back
and still those kings are looking slack
a spark of insight comes to me
lets turn our minds to - anarchy!
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Wanders from dressing room yawning*

If wise men aren't here looks like you'll have to hace wise women instead

Goes in search of caffiene
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
oh welcome welcome king most wise,
this is a sight to cheer our eyes!
This king comes with a fitting twist
he's almost a rocket scientist!
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
So, Wise Man 2, tis really fab
to have you venture from the lab!
And tell us what is in the skies,
oh man who art so very wise...
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
A Wise Man! *short burst of the 'Hallelujah Chorus'*
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
I guess it was some great research
that made you leave us in the lurch,
but it's so great that you've arrived
we'll just forget the 3 who skived...
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
And now you're here please tell us what
is burning up the sky so hot?
and what is gonna happen when
and will it get on News at Ten?
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
So do you think astrology
has some sound scientific base?
And do you think that you can see
the future in a comet's trace?
 

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Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Musical Director:
A Wise Man! *short burst of the 'Hallelujah Chorus'*

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Halle-tuppin'-lujah.

They better not be late when they get to me.

I disembowel stragglers.
 

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Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on :
 
Just about to wander back on stage, Sheep 1 spots Herod and thinks better of it ... ... for now
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Oh wise man wise man speak to us
we've waited for you all this time
to have you here is such a plus
and you don't have to speak in rhyme...
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
TXT 2 JOE
MISS U
WISH U WR HERE
WONDER WOT PRESSIES WE'LL
GET 4 TH BABES
AFTER ALL, THEY'LL B
BRN AT XMAS SO SHD GET 2x!
LUV MARY
(VRGN)
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Wanders back with 2 Vodka Red Bulls*

That'll do for starters - no where are these wise men?

*Realises that "wise" and "men" do not go together*
 

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Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
WONDER WOT PRESSIES WE'LL
GET 4 TH BABES

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quote:

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Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Pssst Herod - want a drink?

---

Let me see.

I'm a professional Actor, appearing in a third rate unrehearsed school-kids nativity play. My dressing room is filled with sheep and angels <spit>, not to mention the fact that there is sheep dung in my make-up box. My flowers have been eaten, my hip-flask stolen and my career is going to pot before my very eyes.

Of course I want a bloody drink.
 

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Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :
 
[Strides onto stage and takes a mic.]

Ladies and Gentlemen, since we're lacking a star in tonights performace this far we're going to try to provide one for your entertainment.

We have a host of star performers lined up for you tonight ... sit back and enjoy as we find our star.

[Shuffles into shadows at the back of the stage]
 

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Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on :
 
hears the comforting (and purely pastoral ) voice of Chief Comic Shepherd, and scuttles back out on stage, confident that the CCS will defend her from those bent on evil against her flock.

Baaaaa

Bumps into Chief Comic Shepherd, and nibbles contentedly at her cloak.
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(Blushes deeply at Sheperd's comment)

What makes you think I'm interested in your sheep?
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
For this is life , if you must rule
you must impress with leadership,
or else you will but look a Fool
and all too soon - your crown will slip
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Turns his gaze toward Fairy Godmother, toward the hip flask she's carrying. Nose lights up.

Baaaaaaaa?
 

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Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :
 
"Dear Wise Men.
I write to you with a sample of my handwriting, so's you can see deep into my character. My inseperable companion- my yappy imaginary poodle, Blossom, was born on February 30. What do her stars say about her?
I am sure you are busy now, and I am prepared to wait til after the Christmas rush for your reply.
With thanks
Spare Shepherd"
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
And there are folk to do the job
who would compete with dulcet voice
"Search for a Star", with tuneful throb
and be elected by voted choice...
 

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Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Pssst Herod - want a drink?

*Lifts up skirt and detaches yet another hip flask*

---

quote:

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Originally posted by Wise Guy:
What makes you think I'm interested in your sheep?

---

 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Turns his gaze toward Fairy Godmother, toward the hip flask she's carrying. Nose lights up.

Baaaaaaaa?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:

quote:

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Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Pssst Herod - want a drink?

*Lifts up skirt and detaches yet another hip flask*

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please may I have a bit of that? (hair of the dog and all that)

---

Good grief - what d'ya think I am? The bleedin tea lady?

Angels can get their own drink - I'm taking care of the men
 

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Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[fade in -- sound of native american drummers throbbing in the background]

[dark figure strides onto stage looking up. His warbonnet flows out behind him.]

Lessee .... hmmm....

Moon in the seventh house, Check.
Jupiter aligned with Mars, Check.

Hmmm. Signs indicate Big Happenings in the West.

Hmmm, i wonder where my esteemed colleagues are? We need to meet in the sweat lodge and seek a vision from our spirit guides.

[strides off the stage purposefully as the drumming swells in volume and the humming of the Fifth Dimension fills the air].
 

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Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on :
 
Quick, sheep 1, over here mate! I'll save you!
 

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Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Guy:
(To sheep 1)

Aww, baby, don't be like that....

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Pssst... Wise Guy... take a look at the one with the funny nose over there...

Sheep 1 abandons vow to stop Rudolph playing any sheep games and REALLY hopes he'll play this one
 

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Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :
 
No, I'll save you, I have a fondness for lamb (with mint sauce)....
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wanders over toward Herod, staring up at him while he takes a drink.
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
pssst.... Angel 1.

I have some strong drink on the props table, disguised as magic potions.
 

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Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on :
 
expertly hauls Rudolph away with crook
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Strides onto stage and takes a mic.]

Ladies and Gentlemen, since we're lacking a star in tonights performace this far we're going to try to provide one for your entertainment.

We have a host of star performers lined up for you tonight ... sit back and enjoy as we find our star.

[Shuffles into shadows at the back of the stage]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dragon:
For this is life , if you must rule
you must impress with leadership,
or else you will but look a Fool
and all too soon - your crown will slip

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Pssst Herod - want a drink?

*Lifts up skirt and detaches yet another hip flask*

---

please may I have a bit of that? (hair of the dog and all that)

---

Good grief - what d'ya think I am? The bleedin tea lady?

Angels can get their own drink - I'm taking care of the men

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Wanders over toward Herod, staring up at him while he takes a drink.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
...do we consult the entrails of one of these sheep that seem to be all over the place?

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quote:

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Originally posted by chief stage manager:
pssst.... Angel 1.

I have some strong drink on the props table, disguised as magic potions.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Ickly Jesus sweetly sleep, do not stir
We will lend a coat of sheepskin....

---

Ok... just stop there.

You may think you can sing, but frankly, I can tell you, you haven't a hope in hell of making it into this band.

You're just wasting everybody's time here today - mine, and the other judges.

In the immortal words, "don't give up your day-job".

Horrid Herod, Celebrity Judge.

<hoists trousers up to just below the nipples>
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
Ye Gods, a STAR?
 

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Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on :
 
Mary's not having one of my sheep for her sheepskin baby-blanket!

Anyway, she'll need two, and that evil twin'll eat it!

Or eat the good twin...which would be damned inconvenient, theologically, historically etc.

OO arr!
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Now that was great and sung with style
Spare shepherd, Rowen, stunningly
Your talent stands out by a mile
Such grace, pizzazz, star quality…
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
Spare Shepherd, that was lovely!

(Dries eyes. Winks at Rudolph.)
 

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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
<Hobbles on looking pained>

Right! I'm no wise man, but if someone doesn't clear those sheep off the stage NOW I will personally ask Herod's evil henchman to ensure that none of you are ever again in fit state to gaze at your own miserable navels, let alone entrails, be they bovine or sheepine.

My physio has spent the whole day trying to put my back back, and my health insurance policy doesn't accept "I tripped over a ruminant" as valid grounds for cover.
 

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Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[figure in war bonnet strides in from stage left]

[another figure strides in from stage right]

[both figures are staring upwards toward the new sign in the heavens and, not watching where they are walking, collide in the middle.]

[spot comes up dimly as CWM and WG disentangle themselves]

Guy! I've been looking all over for you and the other's! Have you seen it? What do you think, dude?
 

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Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :
 
Dear Dragon,
we know the truth of you comment, feeling it in our hearts.... humbly, naturally....
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Now offstage, breathless and losing beads all over the floor*

Oi Rudolph - drinkies

*Takes another hipflask that she has concealed about her person and hands it to Rudolph *

He's got a surprise coming to him when he gets a slurp of that
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Now that was great and sung with style
Spare shepherd, Rowen, stunningly
Your talent stands out by a mile
Such grace, pizzazz, star quality…
 

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Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :
 
~quickly grabs pan of alfalfa brownies from saddle bag~

yo sheep!

treats!
 

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Posted by Wise Man 2 (# 3654) on :
 
A Star indeed. But where is it? Is it in Pisces or Capricorn? Or even in Lyra? Blast these sheep! Won't they get out of the way so a wise man can get out the door to see the sky?
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
"...and I know
If I'll always be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart
will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid down to rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
still tried with his last ounce of courage

TO REACH THE UNREACHABLE STAAARRR!"

(Wise Guy sobs into hankie)
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
I'm tellling ya, guys it's the Dog Star. We received a Sign.

(Note to astronomers out there--is there a dog star or am I completely piddling off the toilet?)
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Sidles up to Herod*

Need anymore darling?
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat wanders in, decides to go and weave around herod's ankles.*

mrrrrrttttt. mrrrrrtttttt. mrrrrrtttttt.
 

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Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dragon:
Now that was great and sung with style
Spare shepherd, Rowen, stunningly
Your talent stands out by a mile
Such grace, pizzazz, star quality?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
*Sidles up to Herod*

Need anymore darling?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*stable cat wanders in, decides to go and weave around herod's ankles.*

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Herod:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
*Sidles up to Herod*

Need anymore darling?

---

There's a queue you know.

Power's an aphrodisiac.

---

Not doing much for your desirability is it - that queues for the bar sunshine
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
So though these kings are rather wet
And don’t know what their cue lines are
We’ve now acquired a perfect set!
We’re only looking for a STAR!
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat easy avoids herod's attempt at a kick, and continues weaving*

prrrrrt?
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Guy:

(Note to astronomers out there--is there a dog star or am I completely piddling off the toilet?)

---

quote:

---

Mary dashes off-stage, leaving a single crumpled Cornetto behind her

---

thank Heavens, I installed a porta-potty!
 

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Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*stable cat easy avoids herod's attempt at a kick, and continues weaving*

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Guy:
I'm tellling ya, guys it's the Dog Star. We received a Sign.

(Note to astronomers out there--is there a dog star or am I completely piddling off the toilet?)

---

We'll have no more talk about piddling around here, thanks very much, Mr Wise Guy! I'll be sending the dry cleaning bill for my trousers to Chief Shepherd and his cronies.

If you want to visit the little boys' room, put your hand up, and Miss SOF 2002 will take you there.
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
I’m sorry for the double dose
Of verses you are getting here
This flood control makes me morose
I’m struggling to stay of good cheer
 

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Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
(Strides onto stage looking annoyed)

Looking for Stars now are we? Well you might've told me before! I've got all these Parisian French Lap Dancers clutterin' up the Tour Bus! Can they audition too, since Madonna seems to have her 'ead down the toilet??
 

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Posted by Wise Man 2 (# 3654) on :
 
Wise Guy can see the Dog Star, Sirius of the Constellation Canis Major? Wow, we must have moved a long way to the south .... this time of year it's only visible in the morning sky of the southern hemisphere.
 

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Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Now so much talent have we here
A wise guy who's himself a star
And sundry fairies, shepherds, cheer
Us with their voices from afar
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
Siriusly, Guy and 2; we've got quite a deal here. The hoi polloi are looking to us to explain this great happening ...

[drummers and spirit singers come up loudly for a bit]

---

(Siriusly. Man you're a stitch)

Well...

(pulls a crumpled exam out of pocket...)It says here, that a great king will be born this day and that a brilliant star will lead us to him. Thus said Zarathustra...no, I got that bit wrong; it was Zoroaster.
Again this proves my Dog Star theory. It is obviously a pointer.



(They don't call me wise guy for nothing.)
 

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Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
Well, dude. that's why it is a particularly auspicious sign!
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
Wise Guy can see the Dog Star, Sirius of the Constellation Canis Major? Wow, we must have moved a long way to the south .... this time of year it's only visible in the morning sky of the southern hemisphere.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dragon:
You’ll have the agents on the floor!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dragon:
You’ll have the agents on the floor!

---

Umm - the casting couches call
 

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Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Guy:
(pulls a crumpled exam out of pocket...)It says here, that a great king will be born this day and that a brilliant star will lead us to him. Thus said Zarathustra...no, I got that bit wrong; it was Zoroaster.
Again this proves my Dog Star theory. It is obviously a pointer.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
Great Zinging Zorastoar! This is big, BIG, I tell you! Where's the tour manager? Call the travel agent!

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Herod:
god... I need a drink...

---

With you on that one, Your Majesty!
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Herod:
god... I need a drink...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
If that is the Dog Star it is a sign of highest magnitude .... the very constellations themselves moving in response to this event. You could almost think this coming kingly priest must be the Lord God Almighty. Either that or an evil twin.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tour Manager:
So, it's just the three of you is it? Where will that be to? Any animals with you at all?

---

(I'm sending the cat and all the sheep.)
 

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Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on :
 
Just a thought - I prefer the Crown, but there's a nice 'Star' in Bethlehem - you could do worse!

They serve Old Peculiar, which should suit you lot fine. But no sheep.
 

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Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Guy:

Ah, well, in for a penny. Are we off? and shall we take the cat before Herod stomps it flat?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
They serve Old Peculiar, which should suit you lot fine. But no sheep.

---

Now someone's talking....
 

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Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on :
 
Sheep 1 runs for cover, not prepared to get in a van with the Wise Men for all the sheep treats in Judea.

Well you know what they say - the Wise Men are Wise Men, and the sheep are nervous.


 

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Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on :
 
Yeah, you stay with me, little sheep. Better the shepherd you know!
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(Wise guy ditches moth eaten robe to reveal leather motorcycling gear. Dumb Lap dancers wheel in a gorgeous Harley, on which he climbs. 'Born to be Wild" begins to play.)

WHO'S IN? WE'RE HEADING WEST!
 

---

Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
They serve Old Peculiar, which should suit you lot fine. But no sheep.

---

Now someone's talking....

---

Good grief, woman - aren't your mulitudinous hip-flasks enough? Or are they just an excuse to show us your drawers? Hussy!
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Rudolph resolves to keep a close eye on these wise guys. Making sure no sneaks up behind him.
 

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Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(Wise Guy kills engine.)

No sheep?
 

---

Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
Right you are then. Here are your tickets. (Hands out several brightly coloured pieces of cardboard of an indeterminate number which is later found to be inferior to the number of persons, sheep, etc to be carried).

This is a point-to-point no-win no-fee no-deposit no-return one-way ticket. You will actually be taken to a field some 40 miles from your ultimate destination which can be reached from there by speedy shuttle camel - prices on arrangement with local operators. Departure is at 12 noon GMT tomorrow. Bon voyage!

(Grabs credit card from nearest cast member and disappears off to the Magic Tour Bus for the night)
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
But WAIT, There's MORE!

We can't go without bringin' gifts. Anybody got suggestions?
 

---

Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 
I made a few suggestions earlier...
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
I'd say a trip to Mothercare would be in order
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(fumbles around in pockets and produces sizeble plastic bag of greenish, herbal looking stuff.)

I've got, uhh. Incensce! That's it! From..Frank.
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[sotte voce to Herod]
we'll get to you in a bit, dude. chill.
[/sotte voce]
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
Now I prophesy we'll be sorted soon
With a Star in the East shining bright
And a glory eclipsing the light of the moon
And sweet comfort in darkness and night
 

---

Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wise Guy:
(Wise guy ditches moth eaten robe to reveal leather motorcycling gear. Dumb Lap dancers wheel in a gorgeous Harley, on which he climbs. 'Born to be Wild" begins to play.)

WHO'S IN? WE'RE HEADING WEST!

---

straddles cerulean electraglide, pushes thumb-kicker and revs engine LOUDLY (shotgun pipes, you see)

putts up to wise guy ~

i'm there, man!

(puttaputt puttaputt puttaputt)

hey - nice scoot! god rides a harley, donchaknow!

(puttaputt puttaputt puttaputt)
 

---

Posted by Wise Man 2 (# 3654) on :
 
Where exactly are we going? Any ideas? or do we just head for Jerusalem and see what comes up? We could always check those sheep entrails if no other sign guides us.
 

---

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat decides herod is boring after all, leaps lightly of his shoulder, and vanishes into the wise men's luggage, to find a cozy spot to sleep*

purrrrr
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
Well, if the STAR would show up, it MIGHT be able to show us the way ....

[hint, hint]
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(Jumps off bike and throws protective arms around nearest sheep.)

Just BACK OFF, buddy, or I'l be checking your entrails!

Anyhow, my understanding is that the king resides in the...

(Dives for notes on stage floor)

West. Should we let the Cat-Hater in on this or just take off?
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[mulling over gift choices]

I asked Phil to check on the internet to see if the proud parents have registered anywhere. Apparently not. Joe is being discreet since it's a rather awkward, sticky situation 'n all

[/mulling]
 

---

Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
<Nose glows>

Hey, are you guys are looking for some kind of bright light?
 

---

Posted by Wise Man 2 (# 3654) on :
 
Hmm, couldn't we just pick up a little something in the market at Jerusalem? I hear they do a good line in assorted incense - myrhh, frankincense and the like. They get through tons of the stuff in that whacking great Temple Herod built there. Just bring a great pile of gold, and find some trustworthy henchmen to guard it.
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 emerges from the wood shed, hears voices on-stage which seem to be calling, and heads in that direction.]

Baaaaaa.
 

---

Posted by The Star in the East (# 3751) on :
 
*SHINE*
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
We have a virgin shining bright
A shepherd and a Rowen
A Wise Guy lighting up the night
though he don't know where he's goin'
(or he's very late anyway)
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men-Gaspar, Balthasar and Herb-went to see the baby Jesus, and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often-overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so:
"And lo, the gifts WERE inside 600 square cubits of paper.
"And the paper WAS festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman.
"And Joseph WAS going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!'
"And Joseph DID rolleth his eyeballs.
"And the baby Jesus WAS more interested in the paper than, for example, the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving
those gifts had two important characteristics:
1. They were wise.
2. They were men.

...
 

---

Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :
 
Than ones you dont
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(Rifling madly through notes.)

The ALLIGATOR star?!
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
A wise man he might be a lord
Of a great and powerful nation
But we haven’t just one star on board
We got a constellation
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 appears on stage and is startled by the sudden bright-shining light of the Star in the East]

*sheep plop*

Baaa. Baaaaaaaaaaa.
 

---

Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
Just a thought - I prefer the Crown, but there's a nice 'Star' in Bethlehem - you could do worse!

They serve Old Peculiar, which should suit you lot fine. But no sheep.

---

I've heard that the Hogshead does a fine Black Sheep...
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills-like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting:

GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN
* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim
that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky receipt on Christmas morning:

...
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
The wise men will embark again
off on a motorcycle
we wish them luck though in the main
we're gonna take the Michael
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of
year,

is that you save the receipt.
 

---

Posted by The Star in the East (# 3751) on :
 
I said *SHINE* dammit!
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
So they have got a star to shine
And they have got a lift
Perchance by influence divine
They each will find a gift
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
Oi! Break out the sunglasses and let's get this trip on the ROAD!

[all Wise men,guys and magi collect themselves into vehicles with assorted sheeps, cats, gifts and such]

[Queue: Willie Nelson "On the Road Again" as harley's and hot rods with Joe Camel figure painted on the back roar off]
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
For they have each been blessed and more
By angels they bin zapped
We know they will bring gifts galore
Who cares if they are wrapped?
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
Hey, I called on Frank's Inscense. (Sp?)
 

---

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Startled by the sudden extremely loud noise from the Star, Sheep 3 bolts off-stage and runs into the Tour Bus to hide.]
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
TXT TO YZ MEN
I KNOW ITS SPOSED 2 B A SPRISE
BUT IF UR THINKIN WOT 2 GET THE KIDS
A GIFT VOUCHER WD B BEST
OR THE CASH
LUV
BVM
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(Guns engine again and nods at Rudolph with a flitratious smile)

Hop on.
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
The wise men could bring gifts for Yule
from each and every nation
or just shop when they stop for fuel
at the next service station...
 

---

Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
<Shuffles on to the edge of the stage>

Sotto voce: can I be in this scene? Or is it only sheep and cats?

Er.. moo.

<Departs hencewith>
 

---

Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Rudolph doesn't trust this wise guy one bit. Runs off stage to join the other sheep in the tour bus.
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
Well, the Alligator star seems to be tapping her toe, so let's follow her.
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Gathers up her belongings*

Don't know about you but I'm overdue a long hot bath after tonight's performance
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
RE: Rudolph.Sigh.
 

---

Posted by Wise Man 2 (# 3654) on :
 
Does anyone have a spare seat where I can sleep during the journey? All this late night star watching and interpretation really knocks it out of you, and I'm shattered.
 

---

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
Errata Announcment.

[bring up spot on CWM]

Ahem. (clears throat).

It has been notice that the Artist Formerly Known as "Star" Appeared in the East and then traveled to the West.

On behalf of the Zorastorian Society, I apologize for any religous or mental difficulty this may have engendered.

[slinks off stage]
 

---

Posted by Dragon (# 3669) on :
 
So off they go upon their way
and off I go on mine
I hope you all enjoy the play
Wow! You've seen Erin SHINE

night folks
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
I got a sidecar, 2. Guess I'm travelling alone anyway. (Sigh)

Thanks for clearing things up, Chief. I knew we were from the east, anyway.

(but see, this is all part of my Method interpretation of my character as a total clod who hasn't studied properly.)
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(cue violins as Wise Guy stares past the sheep and becomes entraced by the golden brown eyes of a cow. Who needs you, Rudolph.)
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Musical Direcor sees the chance for a little romance, and gets the strings to break into a lilting 'Moonlight Serenade'
 

---

Posted by Mrs. Herod (# 3681) on :
 
[Enters in rollers, a dressing gown and fluffy sliippers]

Herod what on earth are you doing? Pretending to be evil! Ha! It'll be like the golf last month you bought all the stuff and it lasted all of a week if I recall I seriously hope you haven't bought all the parophonalia involved with being evil, them hatchetts cost a blooming fortune you know!

Go and take Jimmy to judo and Emily to dancing I'm off to get my nails done and when I come back I want the throne room hovered and the camels fed or I'm leaving you hear!

[Walks off in floods of tears]
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*As Wise men and assorted Magi dissappear off stage, a solitary angel appears, singing:*

Ha-llelujah! Ha-llelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halle-eh-lujah!

*in celebration of the fact that they may know where they're going. Or not, as the case may be. Chief Angel exits swiftly after the WM&AM to ensure they take the right road to Jerusalem. Don't want them going to Bethlehem, do we now?*
 

---

Posted by Passer-by 3 (# 3711) on :
 
[Enters stage right. Exits stage left]
 

---

Posted by Wise Guy (# 3707) on :
 
(tries ineptly to hide look of confused surprise.)

Well, DUH!
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*ah, the perfect time for some Keystone Kops music ...*
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
*ah, the perfect time for some Keystone Kops music ...*

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
*ah, the perfect time for some Keystone Kops music ...*

---

You got it....

I am being asked to relinquish computer. Is this scene a wrap?
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
[Note to cast: this scene will be closed at 12 midday GMT tomorrow (Thursday). Until then - have fun!]
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*enters USL, out of breath, panting*

Wise Guy! Glad I caught up with you! You don't wanna go that way...


 

---

Posted by Phil the Wise Guy (# 3678) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Star in the East:
*SHINE*

---

ABOUT FRICKIN' TIME!
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*Wise Guy thanks Chief Angel and takes the road she has suggested they take*

... It leads straight to the stable...


 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*Chief Angel bows to the Audience, and exits DSL to go to sleep in the dressing room*


 

---

Posted by Phil the Wise Guy (# 3678) on :
 
Phil the Wise Guy pedals furiously up to the stable on his red tricycle. He clambers off, lights his stump of a stogie and looks critically at the scene before his beady eyes.

"OK, OK, let's get all dis "menage a twah" sorted out heah.

Now dat we got da angel off her fuzzy white butt and da star done its t'ing, time to act!

Foist, get dat sheep outta da way! Gah, an me widdout my mint jelly!

Secondly, time to adore da child o heaven."

<aside to Chief Wise Man> "Ummmm... how do we adore? I wuz expectin' little pink hearts or sumpin to coicle aroun' my head. O well, "when in Jerusalem..."

<Phil walks up to manger and shakes Baby's hand.>

"Hey kid! How ya doin'? Good ta see yous."

<Phil looks at the gifts the Wise Men are trying to pull from their robes>

Man, dese might suit yous: Got a really nice 27" color tv and a bottle of Scotch dat happened to fall off da back of a camel my cousin Louie was drivin', and I found dis spiffy black leather coat hanging around somewhere wit' no owner. (Sorry about the hole over the heart, a little leather fix will take care o dat in a jiff.) And when yous up to it, I happen to have a poisonal friend down at Madam Hussein's House O' Happiness, and she'll take care of...ummm. She'll take care o yous, yeah, dat's it!

OK, time to let dese udder guys have dere say."

<Phil puffs furiously on his cigar.>
 

---

Posted by Techie1 (# 3688) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Star in the East:
*SHINE*

---

ABOUT FRICKIN' TIME!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
Phil the Wise Guy pedals furiously up to the stable on his red tricycle.

---

*whispers* Phil! You're a few scenes too early to be meeting the baby yet! You've only just dicovered the star...
 

---

Posted by Phil the Wise Guy (# 3678) on :
 
Awwwwwwwww... SHI-- Umm, sorry, 'scuse my French.

OK, OK, cancel alla dat.

OK, umm, we see da star. Da star, da star, da star. What's my motivation in dis scene?

.........

Got it!

"Hark what light troo yonduh window breaks, 'tis...

...a BIG FRICKIN' STAR! Yo, check it out!"

Howzzat?
 

---

Posted by Evil Henchman (# 3705) on :
 
Walks up to Mrs. Herod and slaps her.

"The boss says take the kids your-****ing-self, and if the slaves haven't cleaned the palace properly, shout at them. Don't raise your voice to him again, or he'll do John-the-Baptist on you. Have a nice day.

Walks away again.
 

---

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :
 
(Angel 6 appears, distributes buckets of frosty lager to all the good boys and girls -- and to Erin -- and kicks the sheep collection back into the pit.)

(A Messenger Angel zips up, hands Angel 6 an official-looking envelope, and zips off. Angel 6 opens it.)

"Your friends and neighbors send you greetings..." Oh, crud . I've been called to ACTIVE DUTY. "Stand with flaming sword at the entrance of the Garden of Eden." Oh, get real. As if! The BIG SCENE for the angels is coming up, and I get shipped off to EDEN!

Well, that's the Angelic Host for you...okay, kids, I'm off. See you Sunday night, or maybe Monday if the transport gets hosed up.

(Exits, visibly annoyed.)


 

---

Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on :
 
(Angel 3 looks at the disconcerted sheep and shakes her head slowly. The Tour Bus is filling up and soon it will be time to hit the high road to Jerusalem. Under the light of the Star, gently leading,still proceeding, she sings "It came" to the tune of "We three Kings of Orient are". The Heavenly Host (such as are present) join in the choruses. )

"It came one bright and starry night,
Like a searchlight into sight
Extraterrestial
Quite celestial,
A UFO? Not quite.

Chorus
Oooo It's a teatray -
No, it's not.
It's essential to the plot!
Fusion reaction, hydrogen,helium
We wish upon the Star.

Wise Men 4 have gathered around,
Could be more but they can't be found.
Irritating,
Calculating
a shopping list on the ground

Chorus
Oooo It's a teatray -
No, it's not.
It's essential to the plot!
Fusion reaction, hydrogen,helium
We wish upon the Star.

Let them cast your horoscope
Birth dates, signs and all that dope.
Vaguely seeming
Quite misleading
Accurate? What a hope!

Chorus
Oooo It's a teatray -
No, it's not.
It's essential to the plot!
Fusion reaction, hydrogen,helium
We wish upon the Star.

(Angel 3 smiles broadly. She has had a few frosty lagers, with scotch chasers. Angel 6 tried to make her drink something called a "Depth Charge". It may explain the following:)

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout...
Children, children Tink's dying! If you all say you believe in fairies, maybe she'll get better. Will you, children? Say it...
<loud whisper from offstage.>
What do you mean, wrong pantomime?

(She wanders offstage, hiccuping gently.)
 

---

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :
 
Jedi Knight wanders to center stage and looks up at the star.

Hmmm, when I flew past that star last month in my X-Wing fighter, it wasn't nearly so bright. Surely it's not going nova?

JK ponders this little mystery and meanders off stage toward the Tea Lady's cart.
 

---

Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
Hey, I've just woke up in the Green Room - where is everybody?

Mr Director - I know my big bit (no, not that big bit!) is over, but could I hang around and join the other angels in the heavenly choir?

If not, I'll just slip quietly away and return for my curtain call on the 22nd!
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Gabe, we would be delighted if you would hang around and lend your voice to the Angelic Choir. Plus you are the only one who can hit a top 'A' after the, er ... well, you know ... the operation

And seeing as the Wise Guys are well and truly on their way, let's all click our fingers to the rhythm of 'King of the Road'

*wanders off singing softly "Trailers for sale or rent, roooooooms to let for fifty cents..."
 

---

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
Gabe, we would be delighted if you would hang around and lend your voice to the Angelic Choir. Plus you are the only one who can hit a top 'A' after the, er ... well, you know ... the operation

And seeing as the Wise Guys are well and truly on their way, let's all click our fingers to the rhythm of 'King of the Road'

*wanders off singing softly "Trailers for sale or rent, roooooooms to let for fifty cents..."

---

<Wanders on, notes with relief the total absence of sheep, sheeps' droppings, or wise men. Tucks one of Fairy Godmother's hip flasks under one arm, Mary's 'Pride and Prejudice' video under the other, and creeps off unobserved to the ladies' dressing room.>

[ 12. December 2002, 09:00: Message edited by: Director ]
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
You know, I think those sheep have got something against me. Still, I shan't let it spoil my enjoyment of the performance. Fortunately the violin was in a hard case over night, so it's only the mandolin they managed to try and break. The damage is minimal, and it'll be in hard case over night as well.

And just in case you were thinking of trying to cause anymore damage, let me point out that I can also manage the tin whistle and the recorder as an option. And you don't want to know where I'll locate them if you try any more tricks
Spit roast sheep will have nothing on you.

But anyway, it being Christmas - goodwill to all men and sheep and all that - can't we call a truce? I'm struggling to say nasty to you. It's just not in my character. I'd rather leave that stuff to Herod, the Evil Henchman and Jesus' Evil Twin. So, pax??
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
Time for another song I think. Do we have any wonderful basses here? I think "Three Kings from Persian Lands afar" would start the morning nicely.
 

---

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
,Five minutes later, strange sounds are to be heard issuing from the dressing rooms as a certain person breaks into song...>

Panis Angelicuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus! Fit panis hominuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum.

'Hic!' Oops!

Cesar Franck always makes me weepy!
 

---

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
<Deep breath...>

Three Kings from Peeeeeerrrrrrrsian lands afar <breathe> to Bethlem fooolowd the wandr'ing starrrr!

<huge breath - orchestra strikes up>

'How brightly shines the evening star!

Cue star please.

Star? Star!! What the...? Get over here and shine, will you!

[ 12. December 2002, 09:35: Message edited by: Director ]
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
Hey, you're no bass. That definitely calls for bass, that song.

Oh what the heck, noone else has showed up. From the top again??

Or shall we move on to something else?
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*cough, cough, cough* says with deep booming voice

You were looking for a bass?
 

---

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :
 
I was. Great, maybe we can now do "Three Kings from Persian Lands" properly now. Where's that angelic choir when you need it?
 

---

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
*is there such a thing as a falsetto bass?*

OK, lets do Three Kings from Persion Wotsits - I think it is still legal in this country...
 

---

Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :
 
Inspired by her singing early this morning (her time), the Spare Shepherd, now in the bathroom washing off stage makeup, begins to sing again...

"In my imagination
I searched the starlit sky so bright
In my imagination,
there I saw you in the night.
And on the day I saw you,
how could I help but realize?
My lucky star was smiling right there before my very eyes...
Two lovely eyes at me they were beaming, gleaming,
I was star struck.
You're all my lucky charms,
I'm lucky in your arms.
You've opened heaven's portal,
here on Earth for this poor mortal...
You are my lucky star...

#############

"Hey could I get a spot in a Broaday musical now? Or maybe even help out the Angelic Choir right here?"
 

---

Posted by Tealady (# 3713) on :
 
I don't know, I go away for a couple of days to istall camel and sheep dips for the drive thru burger bar, and look what happens... I've removed the 'potions' from the prop table and billed the stage manager corkage...

As I'm sure the orchestra discovered, whenever I'm not here Sven or Samantha will serve you. Takings are up nicely, I'm planning an expansion...
 

---

Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :
 
All Aboard the Tour Bus!!

(cue song: "Roll up for the magical mystery tour")
 

---

Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 
At a loss of what to do, angel 5 (who is still in the dressing room) starts singing...

it was on a starry night when the hills were bright...and the world was sleeping sleeping quiet and still and all the angels sang for him.......for a evil twin was born, queen of all the world

the 5th Angel then gets out her recorder...and starts playing

and doesn't stop
 

---

Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 
I've already told you.

Get Out Of My Dressing Room.

I won't tell you again.
 

---

Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 
ickle donkey ickle donkey
on the dusty road
got to keep on plodding onwards
wiv your heavy load.
ring out those bells to night
bethlehem bethlehem
likel donkey carry mary
safely on her way

 

---

Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 
<grabs recorder, snaps it in half and places it in the bin. Forcibly picks up the angel and marches her out of the room, out the stage door and dumps her by the bins.>

Begone, foul fiend.
 

---

Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 


herods being nasty
 

---

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :
 
Mary, dressed in a charming blue travelling outfit, struggles in towing a large suitcase on wheels behind her. She drops it by the washing machine which an invisible stage hand has conveniently positioned in a corner of the stage, and hopes that someone kind and thoughtful will put her blues through the wash for her later. The more observant members of the audience will note that the cushion has grown.

Phew, it's good to be home.
Now, I wonder why Joseph wanted to see me for that little chat tonight.... I'd better go and slip into something more comfortable and get ready to see him....
 

---

Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
What have we learned
Since we begun?
- Mary’s expecting
God’s only son.

Her sister Liz
Is also soon due.
(That bit we covered
During scene two).

Various wise men
Got very lost
Merciless mocking
Their only cost.

But now they have seen
A miraculous light
- For which we thank Erin
Who came through on the night.

Then they all headed
Off to the pub
For some Old Peculiar
And plateful of grub.

Let’s hope they remember
To pack up the gifts,
Sort out the transport
And organise lifts.

But our play’s hardly started
There’s surprises galore
For Mary and Joseph
Next, in scene four.
 

---

Posted by Camel driver (# 3655) on :
 
Just in time -now where's that Tour Manager? I have here a signed contract, providing the services of:

• Three camels (king-size)
• Twelve camels (servant-size)
• Twenty-five camels (pack-carriers)
• Fopod and drink for above party, camels, me and my family
• 25% commission paid in used shekels to me

Nobody mentioned Harleys, tour buses or the like - I want my money!
 

---

Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on :
 


herod's a big bully
 

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Posted by Camel driver (# 3655) on :
 
Coughs in exhaust fumes

Wait for me - what about my money? What about my camels??

I'll still follow you - that old banger will never make it to the Med in one piece...

sets off in high dudgeon - or low dudgeon, he has Protestant leanings - muttering curses against people who don't wait for their camels
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*as the tour bus rumbles out of sight, from deep in the cargo bay comes the noise of a car-sick cat*

ACK!
 

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