Thread: Scene 9: Fear Not! - Shepherds and Angels proclaiming Board: Nativity Play / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
We interrupt your shepherding to bring you an important announcement...
So it looks like the babies have been delivered successfully, and ickle Jesus sweetly sleeps. Meanwhile up on a hillside...
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on
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Ladies and gentlemen,
Young children and old,
Our story continues,
There's much more to be told.
Outside of the city,
On a cold windy hill,
Poor lowly shepherds
Are feeling the chill.
They huddle together
As a lookout they keep.
Their only company
A field full of sheep.
But their lonely vigil,
All through the night,
Is about to be broken
By a wonderful sight.
Come with us now
As that hillside we see,
And hear all the angels
Singing with glee.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 peers out of the stable, considers going up on the hillside to eat some grass. Decides it's too cold, returns to hidden corner of stable and settles in to nap for an hour or two.]
*jingle*
Baaaa.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
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[thorws another chunk of petrified sheep plop on the fire]
Looks like another long cold night. Nothing on the tube but Christmas specials. Hmm.. wonder if anything is going on down in Bethlehem tonight?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
The scene, a starlit hillside. One star shines very brightly indeed. We pan from a view of the wonderous stars to a view of the hill itself. There are scattered sheep. We zoom in on a scruffy, pot-bellied figure, sitting beside a campfire. He is wrapped in a towel, and is sitting at a washing tub, washing something resembling a stripy dressing gown.
Sings, to the tune of ‘Oh for a thousand tongues to sing’ (here
While shepherds wa-a-a-a-shed their socks by night
All seated round the tub
All seeeee-ated round the tub
The Fairy Go-o-o-dmother came down
And they began to scrub
And they began to scrub
And they-ey-ey began to SCRUB!
speaking, moodily
I wishes she would come ‘ere and scrub. I ‘as ‘er down as a right good scrubber!
My old Dad used to sing that song. ‘E said as ‘ow it were a prophesy of things to come. Old shepherd’s tales, eh?
I ‘opes one of the junior shepherds turns up soon. I ‘ad to wash me robe – it were a bit whiffy, after the roll in the cow pat and the little chunder I ‘ad. I ‘ope no-one important turns up while I’m in me undies…
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
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Baaaaa
Munches stupidly but contentedly on the grassy hillside.
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
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*stable cat wanders in, curls up next to a sheep to get warm*
puuuurrrrrrr.......
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Oy, you, even lowlier Shepherd - scrub my smalls!
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
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*a small burst of 'Hillside Avenue' by Simply Red?*
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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sings
There is a green hill far away,
Without a city wall
Where shepherds sit to watch the sheep
And rinse out all their smalls!
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Walks out of the stable. Feeling much better this morning. Sees some other sheep wandering on the grassy hillside outside of town. Walks toward them.
Baaaaa!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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catches sight of Rudolph
Hi Rudolph me old mucker!
You bin down the Crown again?
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Baaaaaa!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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It's bloomin' cold up 'ere in just me undies. Snuggle up, Rudolph me old Lamb!
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
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Stops munching and looks up at mention of "The Crown"
Baaaaaa
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on
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<Sotto voce>
There's something very odd about that shepherd.
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Snuggles next to Chief Comic Shepard, and goes to sleep.
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
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Realises even Chief Comic Shepherd is too proud to hit "The Crown" in his grundies, and gets back to the business at hand.
Munch.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Mothy 'ad a little sheep
And red-nose was 'is name!
It followed Mothy everywhere
It really was a shame!
There's nothing like a real sheepskin to keep you warm at night, I say!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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soto voce back to Narrator
At least I'm sayin something! Where are the others?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Hey Chief, don't you go getting ideas about fleeces again.
You know what happened last time you tried it
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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aside to director/shepherds/any one who might know,
is it time for me yet or are we still sticking with the shepherds?
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
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That glowing star gets bigger and bigger, until it becomes obvious to even the silliest sheep that it's not a star at all, but a host of angels, doing their glowy thing.
Shepherds! Fear not!
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
soto voce back to Narrator
At least I'm sayin something! Where are the others?
(a recurring theme unfolds.....)
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on
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<Back to CCS>
It's OK, I think I can see an angel in the distance.
Not sure which direction it's heading, though.
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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I'll take that as it is time for us. . . . .
Fear Not!
for we come bearing glad tidings! (and no, it's not the weather report. . . although i do know that as well)
[ 17. December 2002, 20:57: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
sings
Oh good Inn Crown at Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie!
Within the bar we find the ale
That makes us smile and sigh
Yet in thy dark rooms
Shiiiiiineth
The light of good warm cheer
I wish I was down there with you
And not stuck outside here!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
Finally, after days in makeup, the Goth Angel is ready to greet her public. She swoops in after Angel 4, her over-long torn black skirt dragging behind her. Drawing herself up to her full height of five feet nothing, she declaims...
FEAR!
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on
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<Sotto voce>
Typical. You wait all evening for an angel to turn up, then two arrive at the same time.
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
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*stable cat looks up in awe at star*
mrrrrrtttttt??????
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Fear what?
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
FEAR!
No, fear NOT
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
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*stable cat looks at goth angel and hisses*
hissssssssss.........
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
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glares in a very non-angelic manner at the Goth Angel, before turning to Angel 1 and muttering
OK, let's try this one again.
Be not afraid!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Getting up in confusion
'Ere! Wot are them big birds with spotlights doin'?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Chief Moth, have you been drinking again or can you see some brightly lit people hovering above us??
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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I am completely sober, more's the pity!
And I do see them!
What are they?
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
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Gets distracted by spotlight, and stares stupidly at angels
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Not sure. Look a bit like Boney M - did you see them on TOTP2 earlier?
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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Drink? who's got drink?
catches glance from other Angel
Yes, fear not, we bring glad tidings of great joy.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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Black Angel beams down angelically at the shepherds. It would be reasuring, if not for the hint of fangs lurking behind those perfectly made up lips.
Be Afraid. Be very afraid.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Hey!
I've an idea!
Maybe they're the Fairy Godmothers out of me old Dad's prophetic song?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Sighs
Not another song. Here, sheepy, let me have some spare wool to stuff in my ears
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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p.s. we are Angels. look, wings! (and not the kind that you get from red-bull.) I knew sheep were stupid, but I wasn't aware that shepherds were as well. Honestly
.
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
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*switches her glare to the Comic Shepherd*
I assure you that the Fairy Godmother is another entitity entirely, and she's probably passed out somewhere around the back of the theatre right now. You really don't want to run into her. Hmph.
*pointedly ignores the Goth Angel*
Like my colleague said. We bring you tidings of great joy.
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
Hey!
I've an idea!
Maybe they're the Fairy Godmothers out of me old Dad's prophetic song?
We are NOT fairy godmothers. never. no. and DON'T mention that again in front of me
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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PARDON? Removes wool from ears
Sorry, pardon? Angels? What's an angel?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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No, no, the first song I sang tonight!
About the washing!
Here, my good women, take this scrubbing brush!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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*pout*
I'm not a Godmother. And I think someone needs to think about his wardrobe. A drippy dressing gown! It's not what you'd call a fashion statement.
*mutters* bloody amateurs...
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Awakened by the bright lights up in the sky, Rudolph gazes at the angels and the black angel. Something looks awfully familiar about that black angel.
Baaaaaaaa?
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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Obviously shepherds are thick. been spending too much time around the sheep again have we?
A1
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Deputy, old mate, do you know these illuminated ladies?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Fourth Angel:
We bring you tidings of great joy.
Well, get on with it then. Don't you have a Great Aunt Joy, Chief?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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turns her glare onto Rudolph
And you. White wool is so last century. Positively pre-Christian, in fact. Come here.
A quick rummage under her robes produces not a hip-flask, but a couple of packets of purple hair dye. She waggles them menacingly sheep-wards.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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I'm a married man, Deputy. I know NO Joy.
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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yes, great joy. . .. .erm. I've forgoten (so obsessed with making a good entrance). anyone else?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
Deputy, old mate, do you know these illuminated ladies?
I think I've bumped into a couple in town recently. Not the type you mess about with, know what I mean?
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
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*frowns at Angel 1*
I.. I thought you knew it.
Should we text Gabriel?
Quick, let's launch into song. That'll keep 'em distracted while we try and remember.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Possibly this is some new way of spicing up the Lotto?
Perhaps Rudolph's won again?
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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We don't agree with the lotto, or any form of gambling.
What shall we sing?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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helpfully... I think it was something about great sorrow. Misery. Torment, even. And I think there may have been nappies involved.
her forehead wrinkles at the last.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Hey, rudolph's turned purple!
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Glares at Black Angel. Backs away and hides behind Chief Comic Shepard. You don't look so hot yourself, Miss Black Angel, thinks to self. The goth looks is so last year.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Angel 1:
We don't agree with the lotto, or any form of gambling.
What shall we sing?
How about "Nine and twenty virgins came down from Nazereth"?
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
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Quick - a song is needed! Something that speaks of great joy! OK, it will do I suppose...
*sings*
Happy, talky talky happy talk
Talk about things we like to dooooo...
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
Hey, rudolph's turned purple!
There! I knew they was Fairy Godmothers! I've always wanted a purple sheep! Sort of ROYAL ain't he?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
The Spare Shepherd wakes up after a southern hemisphere's sleep, refreshed and eager to join in the excitment.
"Er, ah, um, er, oh, ah?"
The visitation by these wonderful beings has obviously touched her deeply, or maybe she never had anything worth saying in the first place?
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
Quick - a song is needed! Something that speaks of great joy! OK, it will do I suppose...
*sings*
Happy, talky talky happy talk
Talk about things we like to dooooo...
where's that basket of rotten veggies?
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
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Spots purple sheep with red nose
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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ooh, yes, text Gabriel. he'll know what to do. wasn't it something about stars, babys and the Big Man Upstairs
?
A1
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
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*stable cat joins in soulfully with singing*
mrrrroooooowwwwwww.............
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
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picks up where Musical Director left off
"You've got to have a dream, if you don't have...."
A dream! There's dreams involved somewhere too. And nappies. glares at Black Angel No torment though. Except possibly for you later on.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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ah. Spare shepherd's here at last!
Lend us your cloak, mate, it's washing day, and there's ladies present!
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Looks around, confused. Why's everyone staring at me?
Nose glows.
And what does purple look like anyway?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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Stamps her foot, narrowly missing a sheep-pat.
But there should be torment. And preferably untold misery and suffering. And appropriately liturgically coloured sheep.
Besides, you can't remember what we were suppossed to be telling them, either.
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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yes, and bethlehem. and a stable. and kings. hmm, let me try and work this out into some kind of order. . . .
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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Ever helpful(!) I think there were presents involved. I like presents.
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
Ever helpful(!) I think there were presents involved. I like presents.
but only if they're black. right?
So someone had a dream, and it involved all manner of odd things and unbelieveable tales. that's good but how does it involve the thick shepherds?
A
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Will someone give me a cloak!?
What's the point being Chief if you all ignore me!
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
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beams even brighter as something clicks
I know! It's a baby that's been born, and they've got to go and see the baby and take him presents.
gives Goth Angel a smug lookThere _are_ presents but not for you.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Here, Chief, have my spare one
Made out of the best ferret fur
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Listen, you incandescant bimbo, I've got all the babies I want at home!
And I'm not going nowhere in just me undies!
They're not even my best undies, actually....
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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YES!!!!!!
That's it.
I remember now.
I want presents too.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
Here, Chief, have my spare one
Made out of the best ferret fur
Urgggh!
Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.
It smells of cat's pee....
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
They're not even my best undies, actually....
*sniff* We could tell that just by looking, thank you very much.
Listen. You've all got to go to Bethlehem, and see a baby, and give us presents. Preferably ones that aren't sheep.
Got it? Good.
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
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Finds a sock on the ground, starts to nibble. Realises it hasn't been washed yet.
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
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*stable cat wanders over to investigate ferret fur. pheeeww. nope, thats not cat pee. cat hisses in disgust*
hisssssss.....
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
Not sheep? NOT SHEEP?
Listen, your ladyship, we're shepherds, right?
What you think we've got?
Fur cloaks?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
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Stop complaining, Chief. Do you want them angels to think we're stupid or something?
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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right. I am now officially sick of being nice. I'm sick of the way people walk all over you and you don't get presents. i'm begining to feel non-angelic. . . . . . . .
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Looks down at shelf, sees self turned purple.
Bloody 'ell! Look at me!
Runs around in circles, then glares upward. Picks up sheep patty and throws it at Black Angel.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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Angel 1, I stopped being nice somewhere back before Exodus. It's much more fun.
You can borrow my second best corset if you like.
Turning to shepherds. Ahem. We want presents. And they'd better be good.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Deputy - you tell me what to do one more time, and I'll stuff you inside Rudolph!
Hey!
We can give Rudolph as a present!
The unique purple sheep!
Exclusive!
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Well, you can have that sheep over there...
or over there....
or...
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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I'm sick of that flippin' baby as well. Cyril/Lavinia is ok, but the other one, well, let's just say I think Herod has the right kind of idea.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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I'm fed up of babies all together. They're nasty whiney creatures, and they smell, and they sick up all over your robes.
They're nearly as bad as sheep.
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
Angel 1, I stopped being nice somewhere back before Exodus. It's much more fun.
You can borrow my second best corset if you like.
Turning to shepherds. Ahem. We want presents. And they'd better be good.
Have you got any black nail polish? and some hair dye? I'm sick of blonde.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
You can have this six-pack of Fosters if you like...
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
You can't have my cloak, because I need it.
Now, if we have to rush off anywhere, I'll take the picnic basket. It's got those vegemite sandwhiches from last Thursday in it.
Is that ok by youse guys?
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
[Even Lowlier Shepherd runs up, slightly out of breath]
Sorry.. was over on the hillside across the valley. Have we started, then?
[He looks up, and notices the angels]
[under his breath]Oh bugger, we have. [loudly] Lo, I am sore afraid!!
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
Lo, I am sore afraid!!
Don't be, they're still arguing among themselves about what they're supposed to be doing
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*glows firmly at Angel 1*
Look, the war in the heavenlies took place several millennia ago, and you're stuck with this side. Besides, we're at least going to avoid the lake of fire at the end of time.
turns back to the shepherds, smiling serenely
You will find the babe lying in a manger and wrapped in swaddling clothes.
But avoid his sister, OK?
Just give the presents to the boy and his mum. She'll be the one in blue.
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
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Glares at Chief Comic Shepard. Nobody's giving me as a present! Walks in front of him and ...
* sheep plop *
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Have you got any black nail polish? and some hair dye? I'm sick of blonde.
Rummages under her robes, and draws out a makeup bag of quite staggering proportions. From the amount of stuff she tips out it seems to have the internal dimensions of a Tardis. Or possibly The Luggage.
I got black, purple, blue and red. What d'you fancy?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
Well, shall we give them Rudolph then?
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
:
suddenly Angel 1 experiences a massive transformation. Her hair spontaneously becomes black, her nails become black and her white robes become very like the dark angels, black and purple with a lot of velvet so they hang right. Her nice white shoes become knee high leather boots.
That's it. . . . . ..I've become a fallen angel!
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
A purple sheep! Nah, I've a better idea-
Picks up Sheep 1 and ties tinsel to ears There, how's that look?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
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*applauds*
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
:
Begins to worry that the purple sheep will clash with BVM's blue. Starts to amble up to Deputy Chief Shepherd to try to dissuade him from making such a huge style faux pas, but then remembers she's a sheep not an interior designer.
Baaaaa
Munch.
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
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*the melodious sounds of Marc Cohn's 'Fallen Angel' drift across the valley...*
Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on
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right, now that's sorted I'm going off to find somewhere to make trouble.
You can all manage without me, right?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Fourth Angel:
*glows firmly at Angel 1*
Look, the war in the heavenlies took place several millennia ago, and you're stuck with this side. Besides, we're at least going to avoid the lake of fire at the end of time.
turns back to the shepherds, smiling serenely
You will find the babe lying in a manger and wrapped in swaddling clothes.
But avoid his sister, OK?
Just give the presents to the boy and his mum. She'll be the one in blue.
Penny drops
Oh, you mean the lean-to, back of the Crown!
She ruined my drink last night, silly cow!
Dopey husband-to-be, as well!
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat is still singing along with the music*
mrrrrrrroooooowwwwwwwww.....
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
[ELS stares up at the angels and blinks a few times]
Right then... while that lot's arguing, why don't we slip on down to Bethlehem and grab a pint? We can have a look in at the stable and see what the fuss is all about, while we're down.
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
A purple sheep! Nah, I've a better idea-
Picks up Sheep 1 and ties tinsel to ears There, how's that look?
Notices something tied to ears and turns round to try and eat it. Unable to reach it but too stupid to realise this, Sheep 1 turns round and round in ever more frenzied circles till she collapses in a heap.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
Have fun, sweetheart. Remember, if in doubt, stick it on the credit-card.
Turning to the shepherds. Right, you lot. Lets talk presents.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Picks up the exhausted Sheep 1 and looks at wrapping paper lying next to the Chief Shepherd's wet clothes
Hmmmm....
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
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Look, sweets, it's a lamb or nothing. Unless you want Spare Shepherd?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
In her most reasonable voice... Right. One of the little darlings stuck "Killing animals" at number one on the to do list before she was even born. All the other does is sweetly sleep. You just might get away with a sheep-skin rug for him. And (shouting) I'm a vegetarian!
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
What do you want me for- heck, "do this " and "do that"... Can't you see I am making more vegemite sandwhiches in case we need a snack on the way to the town? Hmmmm, there are some nice lamb sandwhiches somewhere....
Anyhow, I take it we will go have a gander at the stable? What if it pongs a bit- with all that manure and stuff. What if it gives me asthma?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
Sidles up to spare shepherd. You've got vegemite?
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*stamps foot in disgust*
A nice easy job, they said. Nice little trip to earth. Sing a bit, tell them about the baby, and then go back home.
Nothing about losing one of my collegues to the Dark Side. *glares at Goth Angel again*
Nothing about naked drunken shepherds who haven't the faintest idea what to do.
I give up. Go find the baby yourselves.
Posted by Sheep 1 (# 3671) on
:
quote:
One of the little darlings stuck "Killing animals" at number one on the to do list before she was even born
Struggles to escape from Deputy Chief Shepherd. Gives up, and munches away at wrapping paper instead.
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
This is all I need, underlings with attitude!
Right, we set off to Bethlehem, and get a bottle from the Crown as a present.
All thosse in favour?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Right, we set off to Bethlehem, and get a bottle from the Crown as a present.
All thosse in favour?
"Aye!"
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
I think Fourth Angel needs to see a pyschiatrist for work-related stress- but it should be available under a work-illness insurance programme....
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Aye!
But I'll bring this sheep along just in case...
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
stage whisper: shepherds! hey guys! you're meant to be visiting the baby tomorrow night! read the script!!!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
*swipes one of Spare Shepherd's vegemite sandwiches* *munching* Hmmmm. Not bad. But it's not as good as marmite.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Off we go to Bethlehem. Is it very far? Shall we find a stable lit by a star?
Shall we go in?
Should I take my little drum for some musical relief? Maybe the new mother would like me to play it a while?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Something tells me I don't think we should leave just yet
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
It will take us hours to get there at this rate.... probably not until tomorrow night.....
Rum pum pum pum...
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
That's ok, I have no intention of getting further than the bar of the Crown tonight!
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
stage whisper: shepherds! hey guys! you're meant to be visiting the baby tomorrow night! read the script!!!
Er.. right. So.. who's up for the pub first? I could definitely do with some nice cider!
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
stage whisper: shepherds! hey guys! you're meant to be visiting the baby tomorrow night! read the script!!!
You mean we've got to pad this out for another 13 hours?
I will need that psychiatrist. Where's Angel 5 with that recorder?
Launches into Angels from the Realms of Glory (all 5 verses) to pass the time
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Actually, I'd prefer one of those seasonal starbucks coffees!
Eggnog latte I think....
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Launches into Angels from the Realms of Glory (all 5 verses) to pass the time
Now that *is* truly hellish.
Musical Director: How about some Bauhaus?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Actually, I'd prefer one of those seasonal starbucks coffees!
Eggnog latte I think....
Listen, mate, you really don't get this do you?
WE ARE NOT MIDDLE CLASS!
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Bugger.... knew I shouldn't wipe the vegemite knife on my tea towel head-dress. Now I'll need to find a clean one before we go anywhere....
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Actually, I'd prefer one of those seasonal starbucks coffees!
Eggnog latte I think....
Now, that's available on the props table....
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Chief, you may not be!
BUT I am - just doing this as a holiday job between semesters at Law School, so if I wanna go to upmarket coffee shops I darn well will, k?
If that's fine by the rest of you, of course?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Should we order a pizza?
Do the angels want some garlic bread?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Bugger.... knew I shouldn't wipe the vegemite knife on my tea towel head-dress. Now I'll need to find a clean one before we go anywhere....
Snatches tea-towel from head of Spare Shepherd, stamps it in the dirt, returns it to his head
Now wear that and like it!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
[thorws another chunk of petrified sheep plop on the fire]
*smiles brightly* So... Did anyone bring marshmellows?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Chief, I think you need a drink
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Actually, I'd prefer one of those seasonal starbucks coffees!
Eggnog latte I think....
Listen, mate, you really don't get this do you?
WE ARE NOT MIDDLE CLASS!
Get your alcohol in the pubs; I'll serve the coffee drinks!
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Chief, you should talk to Fourth Angel about work-related stress -relief counselling...
You'll have a coronary if you go on like this............
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
(Suddenly there is an almighty clap of thunder and a celestial beam of light pierces the gloom, picking out sheherds, Fallen Angels and Angel 4. With a roar a golden Maserati skids to a halt. It is Elijah's Fiery Chariot. Out of it get a radiant Presence. Angel 3 has had a makeover....)
FEAR NOT, O LOWLY SHEEPHANDLERS!!!!
Today unto you in the City of David is born a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord!!!
(and his Evil Twin Cyril/ Letititia/Lavinia, which is neither here nor there)GO THERE AND WORSHIP YE HIM!!!!!!
O blast they've buggered off. Better follow them - if their sense of direction is anything like those Wise Men, they'll be half way to Damascus by now.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
stage whisper: shepherds! hey guys! you're meant to be visiting the baby tomorrow night! read the script!!!
*points accusingly at the musical director* We were going to the flipping pub. But *he* said we had to stay here for hours!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
Chief, I think you need a drink
That's the first sensible thing anyone's said all night!
I didn't go into shepherding for the razzmatazz! I went into it for the quiet life, and the lack of intellectual stimulation.
I can let WEEKS go by without a thought troubling me bonce!
And now it's all angel wings and glittery things...
It's TOO MUCH!!!
BRING ME A PINT!!!
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Chief, you should talk to Fourth Angel about work-related stress -relief counselling...
You'll have a coronary if you go on like this............
Indeed - freaking out just because of an eggnog latte.....
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Think I need something stronger
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
(Speaking solely as an actor now.... my life-partner, and same-sex partner incidentally, (Rowen) wants me to go have a shower with her. So I'll come back later... just assume I am there needling the Chief, and needing a latte and clean tea-towel. Ah, and playing the druum, in case Mary is over-joyed with it later, k?)
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
Ok... so, which one first? The King's Head? The Dancing Dreidle? Mary Magdalene's Mug?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
Ok... so, which one first? The King's Head? The Dancing Dreidle? Mary Magdalene's Mug?
a broken man
I don't care...just take me somewhere safe, with beer.
She said 'lfe partner.....'
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
(She gets back in and Elijah's Golden Chariot roars into the night.)
<mobile phone tone "Angels from the Realms of Glory and message beeps>
Where is that mobile? A text message from Upstairs
NOT THSE SHEPHERDS DUMMY
OVR NXT HILL
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Ok... so, which one first? The King's Head? The Dancing Dreidle? Mary Magdalene's Mug?
*perks up* That's more like it.
Noone told me this angel stuff would be like this. Dispatched to a cold hillside, with too many sheep, and whiney angel colleagues who seem to think that white cotton nighties are the height of fashion. I've had sheep plop thrown at me and used up my best hair dye, with no thanks at all.
I wanna get bladdered.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
Ok... so, which one first? The King's Head? The Dancing Dreidle? Mary Magdalene's Mug?
I vote all three
And mine's a Highland Park
Or should I go Irish? Hmmm. Decisions...
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
Look, don't blame me for the pause in proceeding - you are the ones who rushed off all early. You need to learn to be patient.
But if you're off to the pub, I'll join you. And Highland Park? That sounds OK, but I prefer a Bushmills myself...
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
(Finally - right hillside, right shepherds.)
FEAR NOT, O LOWLY SHEEPHANDLERS!!!!
Today unto you in the City of David is born a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord!!!
(and his Evil Twin Cyril/ Letititia/Lavinia, which is neither here nor there)GO THERE AND WORSHIP YE HIM!!!!!!
Mine's a Lagavulin - I have a bottle of Bushmills too. If you boys look in the boot of the Chariot, you'll find a coupla crates of Black Sheep.
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat decides to follow shepards and sheep to pub. *
pad, pad pad (sounds of soft cat-feet following shepards)
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
My life partner and I will make do with gin and tonics....
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
[claps his hands together]Right then... to the Dancing Dreidle!!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
Weeping and maudlin
I should've listened to me mother. She said, don't go with the wrong type of girl, son. Stay away from the bright lights....
I did, I did, but they came to me, the bright lights came up the hill...
I want my mummy!
Or failing that, a Highland Park would be good.
Are we nearly there yet?
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
Gives a huge sigh of relief as reinforcements arrive in the shape of Angel 3
Now look, you can't go to see the baby Jesus if you're all half pissed. He won't be pleased. And you may upset his mother. Meek and mild and all that, you know?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
I'm getting a little worried about that spare shepherd...
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
*points to Angel 3* But we don't need to go anywhere. There's alcohol here.
Give us a drink. We can sort out the baby thing later.
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
Did someone mention Black Sheep?
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
Oh, no you don't. Not another night of being abandoned backstage as the sole crew member. I'll be off with you to the pubs.
Allow me to change from these coveralls to something more appropriate. Black Angel, any spare Goth clothing I may borrow?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Chief, ol' mate... all I can say is " There, there", and look, I'll kindly pat your shoulder.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Fourth Angel:
Now look, you can't go to see the baby Jesus if you're all half pissed.
The chief doesn't go in for half measures, I'll have you know!
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Got anything for purple sheep?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
I should've listened to me mother. She said, don't go with the wrong type of girl, son. Stay away from the bright lights....
I did, I did, but they came to me, the bright lights came up the hill...
I want my mummy!
Or failing that, a Highland Park would be good.
Are we nearly there yet?
Creeps up to Chief Comic Shepherd. She's not all glowy like her angel-colleagues, and her dark robes blend spooookily into the shadows.
BOOO!!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
*points to Angel 3* But we don't need to go anywhere. There's alcohol here.
Give us a drink. We can sort out the baby thing later.
cheering considerably
I like you, you're not so shiny as the rest. Yes, let's stop 'ere and get a proper drink. And if Nancty over there (pointsd to Spare Shepherd) wants a latte, she can get it herself.
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
But if you're off to the pub, I'll join you. And Highland Park? That sounds OK, but I prefer a Bushmills myself...
Only if well watered down with fizzy ginger ale
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
Ok.. this looks to be the place. Hmm.. a bit seedier than I recall. Ah well. It's Christmas Eve.. they'll all be merry. Bartender! A pint of cider if you please!! and a poison apple on the side!
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Chief, ol' mate... all I can say is " There, there", and look, I'll kindly pat your shoulder.
Yes, I know its a shock and all that - angelic visitors, colour changing sheep...
Now we must have some food to go with the drink. You couldn't spare a sheep could you? No? They don't like the idea? Well let me see what's in the boot....
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!
What d'you do tha for? Made me nearly wet me undies!
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
Ah well. It's Christmas Eve..
Eh? Christmas? What's Christmas?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
(Looks to me like someone has a thing about middle-class people, who have same-sex life partners... but I won't say who- because this is a religious play, and we should all be nice and care for each other, and I guess it IS a family-rating affair after all. So I will be mature and sensible about the whole thing).
Could we sit up the back near the backgammon and scrabble sets?
The Spare Shepherd brightly beams at the Chief.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Allow me to change from these coveralls to something more appropriate. Black Angel, any spare Goth clothing I may borrow?
With one fingertip, Dark Angel traces a rectangle of glowing light in the sky. Concentrating, she pulls open - well, what would be a wormhole, if Star Trek had been invented yet - into her wardrobe. Casually...
Sure. Help yourself.
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat still following shepards into pub*
pad, pad pad
*stops at bar*
mrrrrrrrttt?
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
Now look, I'm not going into my local in damp undies and a ferret-skin cloak. Let's stop out 'ere and see what the nice shiny lady's briught with 'er.
You get some peanuts and dips, Lowlier...
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
Ah well. It's Christmas Eve..
Eh? Christmas? What's Christmas?
[downs the poison apple and bangs the glass down on the table] You know, it's when Father Christmas brings presents to all the good little boys and girls. Don't tell me your parents were that 'progressive' sort that don't go in for things like that!
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
(Looks to me like someone has a thing about middle-class people, who have same-sex life partners... but I won't say who- because this is a religious play, and we should all be nice and care for each other, and I guess it IS a family-rating affair after all. So I will be mature and sensible about the whole thing).
You're obviously not aware of the slash and gash scenes which have transpired with Evil Henchman and Herod.....
and the cat torture.
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
(Angel 3 produces a large picnic hamper. Out of it pops a fully stocked bar, with Black Sheep on tap and lots of pork scratchings and crisps. Next to it, is a barbecue with sausages and steaks. There's lots of salads, prawns and lobsters (as some of the shepherds are plainly Australians) and lots of frosty lagers.)
Posted by Lowly Shepherd (# 3693) on
:
[ Taxi pulls up. Out jumps lowly Shepherd, clutching a laptop and a knitting bag ]
Sorry I'm late everyone. Have I missed anything? Oo good! Drinkies!
Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on
:
*Chief Angel flies in carrying some full shopping bags full of nibbles suitable for a Bethlehem hillsided in the middle of winter*
Fear Not! For I bring some snacks, dips, crisps and Marshmallows!
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
I'm beginning to quite like Angel 3.
If we could ditch the lager in favour of Real Ale, we'd be made!
Hi Lowly, old mate. Where you bin?
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat is VERY interested in the shellfish*
mrrrrttttt?? prrrrrrtttt?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
(Of course, I knew about the violence in earlier scenes, but they were different. The actors weren't affected by my middle class presence. This is NOW, and I am here- except that my life partner now has to log off the computer and go to work, so we'll be back later... just pretend I am sitting up the back playing scrabble with an extra, drinking pub lattes
)
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
*waggles a prawn temptingly Here kitty kitty...
Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
If we could ditch the lager in favour of Real Ale, we'd be made!
Think I got some Ale in here somewhere...
*Chief Angel rummages deeper into her shopping bags*
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
With one fingertip, Dark Angel traces a rectangle of glowing light in the sky. Concentrating, she pulls open - well, what would be a wormhole, if Star Trek had been invented yet - into her wardrobe. Casually...
Sure. Help yourself.
Thanks. Takes gorgeous dark purple dress with black lace, black boots, and glittery black and red arm cuffs.
Changes into outfit as hair is transformed into brilliant blood red colour......
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Looks at self again, realizes, I don't look half bad. I could get into this purple thing. Looks, totally goth and everything.
Grabs a bottle of Black Sheep and drinks it down.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Thanks. Takes gorgeous dark purple dress with black lace, black boots, and glittery black and red arm cuffs.
Changes into outfit as hair is transformed into brilliant blood red colour......
With her non-prawn containing hand, offers eyeliner...
Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
*waggles a prawn temptingly Here kitty kitty...
Got some fish flavoured cat treats too, if that doesn't work
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
I'm beginning to quite like Angel 3.
If we could ditch the lager in favour of Real Ale, we'd be made!
Next to the Black Sheep, sweetie.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3, back in the stable, wakes up and hears what sounds like a flock of sheep and their shepherds beginning an evening of serious pub-crawling]
Baaaaaa?
[She leaves the stable and goes off to investigate]
*jingle jingle*
*trudge*
*jingle jingle*
*trudge*
[ 17. December 2002, 22:40: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
Ok.. I'm lost.. are we at a pub or still on that blasted hillside with those annoying angels?
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat is not really sure she trusts that angel, but that prawn certainly smells good*
mrrrrrrrwwwww???
*inches forward gingerly*
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 looks back at her sloppy UBB code. Oh well]
*shrug -- jingle jingle*
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
The hillside seems to have transformed itself into a pub
Clever lot, these angels
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
contentedly
Aah! I think my old Ma might have bin wrong about ladies like you, shiny or no...
I likes a good feed with a good wench!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Ok.. I'm lost.. are we at a pub or still on that blasted hillside with those annoying angels?
*stamps one thigh-high booted foot imperiously* *You* are in a pub paying for your alcohol. *We* are in a field getting bladdered at the expense of the boss upstairs.
muttering under breath Annoying? Annoying?!?
Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
Ok.. I'm lost.. are we at a pub or still on that blasted hillside with those annoying angels?
Excuse me?
Oh, yeah!
We had a message from the Most High:
*sings*
And Lo, the Angel said unto them, I bring you glad tidings of great joy which shall be to all people
Posted by Passer-by 3 (# 3711) on
:
[Enters stage left carrying tray full of empty glasses. Exits stage right, still carrying aforementioned tray]
Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on
:
I'm beginning to like the Stable Cat. Talk about Goth.
Care for some grilled salmon, my sweet?
Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on
:
*mutters to herself*
Now, where did I leave that 'Halo-Brill'(tm)?
*wanders off DSL, still muttering to self*
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Looks up at Chief Stage Manager, with purple dress and bright red hair.
You look just like me!
Nose glows.
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat successfully swipes prawn from from goth angel, and retires under the table to eat it*
slurp, chomp, slurp
*then hopes up on table to investigate the grilled salmon*
mrrrrrt?
Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on
:
Yawns Tiring night, with all this activity. Think I need a lie down.
Finds purple sheep and fluffs it up to use as a pillow.
Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on
:
*reappears on stage, bungee style, as she forgot to unhook herself from the fly-rope*
*mutters something unangelic, unhooks herself, and wanders off again DSL*
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
The hillside seems to have transformed itself into a pub
Clever lot, these angels
I think it might be time for a little karaoke. (Sings, to "The Sound of Music" )(well it is meant to be a family play)
"The hills are alive to the sound of angels
Yes, we've done our job
And proclaimed his birth!
The booze fills my heart with a sense of longing
To get quite drunk
And full of mirth."
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 smells lots of good things to eat and drink, and breaks into a trot]
*JIN-gle JING-gle JIN-gle JING-gle*
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
*smiles contentedly down at the purple sheep* See? I told you that that was a much nicer colour than that icky off-white you were in before.
You want some powder for that nose?
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat does not , for once, join in the singing, as she is far to busy scarfing down grilled salmon*
sluuuuuurrrrrppppp, chomp, chomp, sllllluuuurrrrrp
Posted by Chief Comic Shepherd (# 3660) on
:
Well-sozzled, again
I expects this pub is like fairy gold - it'll be gone in the morning!
Right now, I needs my sleep!
Take over, other time-zone shepherds. Take note of what the shiny ladies say - they must be sent from heaven if they bear real ale (I'll overlook the frosty lager for once).
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Looks up at Black Angel.
No thank you, I like my nose just fine as it is.
Goes back to sleep.
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*speaking of sleep*....
Curls up on the back seat of Angel 3's chariot, and starts gently snoring "O Holy Night".
Posted by Lowly Shepherd (# 3693) on
:
Typical! I get here just as everyone's going to sleep. Actually I missed curtain up cos I went for a sauna. Feeling quite mellow mesself. G'night all
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
(Angel 3 looks about contentedly) Well, another enjoyable evening. I may open a restuarant to go with the pub.
(To the Stable Cat and anyone else still standing.)
I was at an amusing party at Herod's recently. You know, there's a bit of good in everyone. Take that Evil Henchman - looks like a cat shaving madman, but makes a good Sakatini. So glad to see your fur's grown back, puss.
(Tickles the Stable Cat under the chin.)
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3, with most of her plaits, cerulean ribbons, and tiny jingle bells still in place, arrives]
*jingle, jingle*
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
[She looks around at various clumps of passed-out sheep, shepherds, angels, and assorted other characters]
Baaaaa
*jingle*
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
repacks her voluminous makeup bag
Right. It's been a good night. One of the heavenly host corrupted. Stage manager made over, and a sheep dyed liturgical purple.
I'm off shopping.
See you all in 8 hours or so.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 wanders about on the hillside, lapping up various spilled drinks, and eating tasty bits left lying about.]
*jingle*
*munch*
Baa.
*lap, lap, lap*
*munch*
Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on
:
[looking about and realizing the other shepherds have dozed off[Well, crap!
Well, sheep, just you and me and all this booze!!
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
[looking about and realizing the other shepherds have dozed off]
Well, crap!
Well, sheep, just you and me and all this booze!!
[Sheep 3 looks adoringly at Even Lowelier Shepherd]
Baaaaa!
*jingle*
*slurp, slurp, slurp*
[ 17. December 2002, 23:17: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd:
[looking about and realizing the other shepherds have dozed off[Well, crap!
Well, sheep, just you and me and all this booze!!
*Wanders in looking slightly worse for wear*
Not so fast sunshine - it's me and the booze tonight
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
looks around warily...
Looks like they have all scarpered, and leaving the Black Sheep not even half drunk. I will, obviously, have to see that is doesn't go to waste...
pours generous bucketfull of the finest Riggwelter and drinks slowly
Lovely. Night all!
Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on
:
*stable cat, comfortably full of prawns and salmon, retires to safe rafter spot for a cat nap*
puuuurrrrrrrr........
Posted by Techie1 (# 3688) on
:
The lights slowly dim as a gentle fog drifts over the stage.
<Back stage>
Thanks guys, for filling in for me last night... caught a touch of the flu... or, erm, something... let's not talk about it... Who needs Alka Seltzer???
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
Baaa...a....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Passer-by 3 (# 3711) on
:
[Enters stage right, still carrying tray full of empty glasses. Exits stage left, continuing to carry aforementioned tray]
Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on
:
JK enters stage right. Sees sleeping shepherds, sheep and a cat.
Beertender? Hello-o-o-o? Is anyone working here?
JK leaves stage left, grumbling.
Bet they don't even have a decent bottle of wine here.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 wakes up for a moment and looks around]
Baaa.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
[ Sheep 2, sleeping on the hillside, rolls over, mumbling in her sleep.]
Baaaazzzzz.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 wanders over to Sheep 2 and butts him]
*jingle, jingle, jingle*
Baaaaa.
*whompppp*
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[...butts her (sorry, whatever)]
Hey, Sheep 2, it's the night the Christ Child was born and the animals can talk! Wake up!
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
[Sheep 2 wakes up suddenly, being very startled. Stands up and butts Sheep 3.]
Baaaa!
*jingle*
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
Hey! This is cool! We should play a trick on the sleeping shepherds.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
Yo, Sheep 2, no need to butt, we can talk! This is our big chance.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
Got any ideas?
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 2:
Hey! This is cool! We should play a trick on the sleeping shepherds.
Definitely!
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
Yeah, my first idea is that we get synchronized so we're not cross-posting all the time. I'm going to wait until you post two times in a row before I post again.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
I've been getting pretty fed up with their bossing us around and acting like we're stupid. That's only what they think. REVENGE!!!!
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
Sounds good. Go for it.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
I think the first thing we need to do is nibble off all these cerulean ribbons and jingle bells that are plaited into my fleece.
I can hardly be stealthy going *jingle jingle* all the time.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
They are pretty annoying, aren't they. Here.
*nibble nibble*
*nibble nibble*
Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on
:
(Enters, sees Gawdawful mess.)
Jesus Christ! (as it were.)
(Having neglected to turn in Flaming Sword at end of Garden of Eden Entrance duty, takes flat of it to fallen angels, dim-witted shepherds and totally thick sheep, singeing and scattering same. Hands a bottle of rather nice red wine to Jedi Knight, pulls out a glass of Courvoisier, and has a drink.)
Honestly. What ARE you alleged angels thinking? What a disgusting spectacle.
(Gathers idiot shepherds back together, ditto Angelic Host, leads in the Big Messiah Scene. Has another drink.)
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
It was very nice of bee_of_good_cheer to put them in, and they do look pretty, but yes, the *jingle jingle* has become annoying.
Why don't we put them in this box, and perhaps Even Lowlier Shepherd (he's very nice, not like the others) can give them as a gift to the baby. I notice that the Baby Jesus liked the one I put in the manger.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
Um, Sheep 2? I think we have a problem.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
Uhhh, yeah. What are we supposed to do with a drunk angel?
Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on
:
The angels are not drunk. Angels cannot be influenced by alcohol.
They can, however, become INTENSELY cross with dim shepherds and thicker-than-several-boards ovine creatures.
So watch it.
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 6:
(Enters, sees Gawdawful mess.)
Jesus Christ! (as it were.)
(Having neglected to turn in Flaming Sword at end of Garden of Eden Entrance duty, takes flat of it to fallen angels, dim-witted shepherds and totally thick sheep, singeing and scattering same. Hands a bottle of rather nice red wine to Jedi Knight, pulls out a glass of Courvoisier, and has a drink.)
Honestly. What ARE you alleged angels thinking? What a disgusting spectacle.
(Gathers idiot shepherds back together, ditto Angelic Host, leads in the Big Messiah Scene. Has another drink.)
AHA!!!Bitch fight!
Here are these poor shepherds out in the cold with their lovely and thoughtful sheep. I - er, we bring a little cheer into their lives and it's second degree burns all round!
Look at these sweet, generous, talking sheep. I'm sorry for the jokes about kebabs and BBQs. Here's a lovely box with a bow for those bells. I'll help you gather them up.
Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
...Look at these sweet, generous, talking sheep. I'm sorry for the jokes about kebabs and BBQs. Here's a lovely box with a bow for those bells. I'll help you gather them up.
Okay, Angel 3 -- that's enough booze for YOU! Come along, dear -- time for choir practice!
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
I've seen a few angels who, if they were not drunk, were sure putting on a good show of it.
Sheep are smarter than shepherds, thank you very much. We just don't choose to show it that often.
Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 2:
...Sheep are smarter than shepherds, thank you very much....
I can believe that, because it's hard to believe that ANYthing could be thicker than these shepherds.
Of course, if you lot could manage to toilet-train yourselves, it would be ever so much more convincing. Give it some thought, would you?
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 2:
I've seen a few angels who, if they were not drunk, were sure putting on a good show of it.
Sheep are smarter than shepherds, thank you very much. We just don't choose to show it that often.
I'm not um, drunk. Angelic being, spiritual essence, all that sort of thing.
No, don't wave that thing at me, Angel 6. Unless you want to join me in the mud-wrestling pit, outside my pub, of course.
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Wakes up
Hey, what's going on around here? I had this awful dream where Jerry Falwell accused me of being gay just because I was purple ...
Looks around to see two angels wrestling and pulling their wings off each other. Sees shepards, sheep, and fallen angels scattered over a scorched piece of ground.
I need a drink!
Grabs the last bottle of Black Sheep.
Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
No, don't wave that thing at me, Angel 6. Unless you want to join me in the mud-wrestling pit, outside my pub, of course.
We ARE supposed to be on the same side, A3....
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
I'm not um, drunk. Angelic being, spiritual essence, all that sort of thing.
Sure, whatever.
Toilet training? Umphf. I dunno. I think it's kinda fun to see the shepherds get mad about it.
Sheep 3?
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 6:
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 2:
...Sheep are smarter than shepherds, thank you very much....
I can believe that, because it's hard to believe that ANYthing could be thicker than these shepherds.
Of course, if you lot could manage to toilet-train yourselves, it would be ever so much more convincing. Give it some thought, would you?
We are definitely much smarter than the shepherds, but it's rather difficult to express it when limited to "baa", staring, eating, sleeping, and other limited natural functions. We do the best with what we are given.
Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
We are definitely much smarter than the shepherds, but it's rather difficult to express it when limited to "baa", staring, eating, sleeping, and other limited natural functions. We do the best with what we are given.
Do more. Please.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 6:
Do more. Please.
Picky, picky, picky.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
Oh.my.God.
I just looked at the Programme. Tomorrow is Scene 10: Shepherds visit.
How on earth is that scene ever going to happen. They rarely show up, much less together. and they're pretty useless even then. And looking at them now, tomorrow night they'll still be seriously hungover.
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Looks around to see two angels wrestling and pulling their wings off each other. Sees shepards, sheep, and fallen angels scattered over a scorched piece of ground.
(Angel 3 has Angel 6 in a chokehold. Angel 6 is trying to bite one of Angel 3's wings off. Each thinks they are winning.)
Pax,Angel 6. I know you've got your mouth full - just nod. That's the way!
(They disengage. Angel 3 and Angel 6 click their fingers. Instantly both are healed of their injuries and restored to their former radiance.)
Can't make choir practice, tonight, sweetie. The sheep are veritable ovine geniuses, but someone has to watch over the flocks by night. Can I interest you in some 30 year old Armagnac?
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
This could get very very interesting (or stupid)
. Us sheep may have to fill in quite a bit (knowing the shepherds' inadequacies
). And they talk about us!
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
(Pssst. Sheep 2. While the angels are fighting, let's go pull the robes off all the shepherds.
)
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
All I know is nobody better call me Barney!
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
[Sheep 2 walks over to a drunkenly sleeping shepherd and seizes his robe in her teeth
*rip*
*rip*
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Sheep 3 wanders over to Chief Comic Shepherd and begins nibbling on his robes]
*nibble, nibble*
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
Well, my orders say nothing about watching over the shepherds. Do your worst, sheep! No biting mind.
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
Biting? You think, Angel 3, that we would ever bite someone who didn't deserve it? Please give us a little credit. Beneath our stupid sheep brains visible to the ordinary world, we are....
Well, we're not allowed to say what we are.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
Hmmmmm.
[Spits out bits of robe.]
Yuck. Guess I'll not try out for the goat part next year. This is disgusting.
So we can bite people who deserve it?
[Walks over to a drooling Deputy Chief Shepherd with a big grin]
Posted by Angel 3 (# 3687) on
:
Now, Sheep 3, as an immortal, ascended spiritual being I can see exactly what you really are.
(Angel 3 settles down on a rock with Angel 6. In an companiable way, they share the Armagnac and watch the Revenge of the Sheep. Soon the dawn will be breaking. Who knows what the new day will bring?)
Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on
:
[Local time for Sheep 3 strikes midnight]
Baaaaaa.
[Sheep 3, no longer able to speak, decides to go to sleep]
Baaa.aaa....aa..zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
Shoot. There goes Sheep 3. Let's see...2 hours left. That should be plenty of time...
[Sheep 2 grips Deputy Chief Shepherd's robe more firmly and gives a good pull]
*riiiiiiiiip*
*riiiiiiiiip*
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Grabs other end of Deputy Chief's Shepard's robe and gives it a good pull.
rrrrrrrrrriiiiiippppp!
rrrrrrrrrriiiiiippppp!
Sees a purple cloak left behind by the Black Angel. Tosses it over Deputy Chief Shepard.
Let's see how you like being purple! Baaaaaaaa!
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
[Trots over to the dreaming Spare Shepherd and seizes robe]
Just had to make all those comments about lambchops and BBQs, huh?
*riiiiiip*
We'll see if you ever do that again!
*riiiiiiiip*
Hahahahaha!
Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on
:
Finds another spare purple cloak lying around, and throws it on Spare Shepard.
Let's dress all of you in purple, now. Hahahahahahahaha.
In Rudolph's frenzy, thinks about the Black Angel and purple clad Fallen Angel and Stage Manager. Considers joining them on the dark side. Wonders if Rudolph himself may be evil.
Then ponders if a creature without a soul can be truly evil or good. While pondering the theological and moral ramifications of this statement:
Rudolph falls asleep.
Posted by Sheep 2 (# 3714) on
:
[Sheep 2 heaves a heavy sigh, yawning]
Ahhhh! All this revenge is tiring. Ooh! What's this?
[Finds a whiskey bottle next to Deputy Chief Shepherd and takes a sip.]
Whooooo! Can see why they're so wiped out. Hmmm.
Getting veeeeeerrry sleeeeeepy.
[Falls to knees, slowly tips over]
Goodness sakes! I'm....zzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Having finished playing scrabble with an extra down the back of the pub, (ie Rowen, my life partner has come home from work), I can now re-enter the fray... However all the other shepherds seem to be dead drunk or something. And the sheep are all over the place. How typically not middle- class, my dear Chief Shepherd! How unlike me!
Anyway, seeing all these folk are unable to have a class debate with me again, I'll nip next door to Starbucks and buy an eggnogg latte... much to Chief's horror! Ha ha!!
Then I'll buy some trendy newspaper and read up on the current news... I understand Herod's tetchy again. There's a bunch of men travelling around somewhere; stars are shining even more brightly than before, and the hotels are full up this season.
And then I'll go to the butchers for some lamb chops or something.
Finally back to the pub... Chief will never know my middle-class roots are showing!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
Enters stage right, dragging large and interesting-looking shopping bags. Spots what Rudolph the Purple Sheep has done to the shepherds. Bless. I have a protege.
Staggers up to nearest snoring shepherd. Dumps shopping. Taps shepherd on forehead.
Ahem. Babies. Bethlehem. Remember?
Shouldn't you be packing??
If you spend the adoration sleeping it off in a field, upstairs is NOT going to be happy.
Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on
:
OK, we have a load of boozed up shepherds, in a pub on a hill somewhere.....
This calls for a barn dance I think. And you sheep can jingle all those bells along as well - we'll need them too!
<strikes up the traditional kind of tuning bit at the start of a hoe down>
Ahem, shepherds and angels (and sheep), take your partners for the Bethlehem Reel
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
(will get in the write up if i die trying!)
Meanwhile, the smallest angel (who can't fly as fast as the others) has been on a round-the-world trip to gather lots of people from every contry in the world to come and adore the new born king...unfortuantly, she couldn't find any apart from a couple of kids "playing" with a cat...so she came alone...and, at last caught up with the others...
So are you shepards going then?
Can you huryy up about it, you only have about 2 hours 'til the scene ends!
I'll lend you my wings if you want!?!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
For once, the Goth Angel finds herself in agreement with one of the heavenly host. Grabbing a sleeping shepherd by the ear, she shouts: You need to get a move on already
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
*shouts*
look if you lot don't move NOW i will get Jesus' Evil Twin to come and EAt you...adn if that doesn't work i will throw a tantrum.
I'm the littlest angel and I'm ALLOWED to scream and scream untill you all GO TO bETHLEHEM.
There is a KING for you to Worship there
OH and bring some PRESENTS.
and i mean it about the temper tantrum.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
(hey, i like playing a little kid:) can i do it all the time?)
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
Black Angel is /not/ going to be upstaged by an over-grown toddler in a frilly white nighty.
I warned you. I told you there would be doom and gloom and untold suffering and torment. But ohhh no. You went with that 'Fear Not' line and decided to throw a party. With dips.
Now I ask you? Is that the right way to greet the news of the birth of the Son of God and his evil twin?
If you don't get your butts into gear and get down to that stable pronto, then *you* can explain it to the management.
Glares at the sheep And that goes double for you.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Hey, chill out, little baby dude angel...
Here, have a Babychino (coffee for infants) from the shop next door to the pub... and a wee gingerebread man... After all, it's Christmas!
Whatever Christmas actually is.
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
Damn I'm late I must have overslept.
Here what's with all these angels and sheep!
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*sighs at the Black Angel*
Look, they'll be fine. As long as they start moving by midday, they'll get to the stable in plenty of time for tonight's adoration scene.
And it'll give the BVM a chance to catch up on her beauty sleep too. She was looking somewhat ragged around the edges last time I checked. That Evil Lavinia's doing her no good at all.
*lightbulb moment, complete with appropriate glow*
I know! Why don't you go take care of the evil one. I'm sure you two will have so much in common....
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
and a wee gingerebread man...
Gingerbread Person - get with the programme
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
the "over-grown toddler in a frilly white nighty"
is also not going to be beaten by a strange person with no fashions sense in torn black dress.
Don't insult the nighty!
THAT IS IT
I'm getting the recorder out and i'm doing it NOW.
plays ickle donkey...then the song about angels and hills...and singing...that she can't remember the name of......very very badly....
And i'm not stopping until you go!
It was on a starry night, when the hills were bright, and world was sleeping.....
Ickle donkey ickle donkey on the dusty road...
hmmm...being evil and stroppy is fun...perhaps the evil henchman/black angel can teach me more...
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Look, they'll be fine. As long as they start moving by midday, they'll get to the stable in plenty of time for tonight's adoration scene.
*wails* But they've got to pack. And sort their outfits. And do their hair. And here they are just lying around all smelly. In stripes.
They haven't even washed their socks.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Bloody politically-correct gingerebread MAN!
Ditto badly-behaved childish angels.... Just wait til God finds out you are being naughty! You'll be sorry then!
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
Look shepherds, I suggest you tidy yourselves up a bit before tonight. And you won't find anyone there before 8pm anyway - Mary has gone Christmas shopping with the twins, and Joseph is having a flutter on the Decapolis Derby.
Why don't you sort out some entertainment? A Barbershop Quartet song or something? Maybe one of you could tap-dance. Or, better still, juggle - babies love juggling.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
I intend to play my little drum for Mary....
pum pum pum.
I'll play my best for him, pa rum pum pum, rum pum pum...
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Ditto badly-behaved childish angels.... Just wait til God finds out you are being naughty! You'll be sorry then!
Thats it.
I'm NOT going to Bethlehem.
the shepards being mean...make her stop. this isn't fair...Everyone's bullying me...frist Herod, now the shepard...
I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.
I'M NOT MOVING FROM ON STAGE.
i'm going to sit in this corner and SULK and CRY cos you've upset me.
Your all nasty and i want my Auntie Molly....
*sits in center of stage crying*
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
quote:
Black Angel bewailed:
*wails* But they've got to pack. And sort their outfits. And do their hair. And here they are just lying around all smelly. In stripes.
They haven't even washed their socks.
Well where's that fairy godmother when you need her? We don't need a cinderella type thing here, but a bit of bibbity bobbeting on those rather ragged looking shepherds wouldn't go amiss.
Bloody fairies
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Will you feel any better if I drum for you too?
Or practise asking what can I give him- give my heart......
You'd like to see that, wouldn't you, dearie?
Or, shut up, and eat an old vegemite sandwhich...
BTW, I had my hair cut and coloured at the salon next to Starbucks, so I am all ready for the Great Visit.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Ditto badly-behaved childish angels.... Just wait til God finds out you are being naughty! You'll be sorry then!
Us? Naughty? Us??
This from the one who plans to give the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, etc., etc., stale veggiemite sandwiches as a pressie.
I'm not going to talk to you, either. You wait til Lavinia hears about this.
Stalks off to join Angel 5 in her corner.
Here. I have chocolate. Green and blacks. Just promise me you won't start playing again, 'Kay?
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Will you feel any better if I drum for you too?
Or practise asking what can I give him- give my heart......
You'd like to see that, wouldn't you, dearie?
Or, shut up, and eat an old vegemite sandwhich...
i'm not talking to you...
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Nah, don't be silly- I'm gonna give my heart, in a soprano solo, followed by a drum encore, thus fulfilling the ancient prophecies in at least 2 Christmas carols....
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
I'm gonna give my heart
Perks up at this. There will be dismembering?
No. I'm not talking to you, either. You made Angel 5 crwyyy.
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
Here. I have chocolate. Green and blacks. Just promise me you won't start playing again, 'Kay?
thanks Black Angle...
I won't start playing again...you can't sulk and play the recorder at the same time, and i am occupied sulking!
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
awkwardly pats Angel 5 on the shoulder
There. There there. Now.. um.. come on. Don't cry. We've got to go accompany these nice shepherds to Bethlehem. And see the baby again.
Maybe Mary will let you hold him. The nice one, that is. We'll leave Lavina to our gothy friend over there.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Bugger, it's probably not a good thing to get on the bad side of the Heavenly Host...ummmmmm
Brightly-
What a lovely day it is today. And so close to Christmas! Why don't we go out and play hopscotch, or better still, go and look at the Christmas shop windows down at the open-air markets...
A bright smile follows!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
I won't start playing again...you can't sulk and play the recorder at the same time, and i am occupied sulking!
Really? Good. Sulking isn't quite gloomy or spooky, but it's a start.
We'll make a proper Goth Angel of you yet.
Would you like to borrow my eyeliner? You can draw squiggles on your face and everything.
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Fourth Angel:
awkwardly pats Angel 5 on the shoulder
There. There there. Now.. um.. come on. Don't cry. We've got to go accompany these nice shepherds to Bethlehem. And see the baby again.
Maybe Mary will let you hold him. The nice one, that is. We'll leave Lavina to our gothy friend over there.
the Black Angel was nice to me, she gave me some choclate...
and if i come can i help bath the Baby?
Please?
I'll be really good and not sulk anymore...
But i'm still not talking to the nasty shepard.
Not even the Big Guy himself will make me talk to her
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
We've got to go accompany these nice shepherds to Bethlehem
They're not nice shepherds. They smell funny. And they don't have proper marmite. And they made Angel 5 cry.
And they didn't give us presents.
Sothere.
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*ushers Angel5 away from that nasty dark creature and offers of eyeliner*
I'm sure you can bath the baby Jesus, yep. And he won't cry or anything, because he's perfect like that. Besides, he may recognise you from his pre-incarnational existance.
Just come with me. And move over here. *keeps steering Angel5 away from the lure of the goth*
That's it. Now, do you want to do a nice loud "fear not" to wake up these shepherds? You can even do the glowy thing to lead them into Bethlehem.
casts smug grin back at Dark Angel. You may have corrupted Angel 1, a sheep and the stagehand, but you're not getting this one.
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
sneaks up to the drunk shepards with a selection of Black Angels Make up, and draws all over their faces....
Wanders over to do the same to the musical director...
And i'm not trying to be black, just little angel's never get to do all the fun stuff...
And it's not fair
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
(cross posting makes this very confusing)
Can i be a black angel when i grow up?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
The Spare Shepherd hands her a packet of tim-tams.
"Will this do as a present, Black Angel?"
http://www.arnotts.com/Biscuits/OurBiscuitsP.asp?BID=79
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
*looks devastated* Chocolate in one hand, eyeliner in the other, she trails after the heavenly pair. It's true her aura is more of, well, an anti-glow than the bright white sparklyness emited by the other two. But she tries.
But she was going to be my friend.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
In fact, share them round with the other angels...
(Bribery will keep me in the good graces of the Heavenly Host)
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
All right Spare Shepherd we come back to the fields
- All the other shepherds and sheep are lying very lifelessly on the ground.
- There are "Heavenly Beings" in the air.
- Spare Shepherd is unpolitically correct.
I feel we are being asked to join a cult!
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
The Spare Shepherd hands her a packet of tim-tams.
Chocolate is bad for ickle baby tummies. It stops them sweetly sleeping.
Perfect
Us angels don't get indigestion.
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
*looks devastated* Chocolate in one hand, eyeliner in the other, she trails after the heavenly pair. It's true her aura is more of, well, an anti-glow than the bright white sparklyness emited by the other two. But she tries.
But she was going to be my friend.
I am your friend...
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Spare Shepherd eyes Lowliest Shepherd with some concern.
"What have you been taking recently, mate?"
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*holds head in hand, mindful not to dislodge halo and mutters to self*
I'll strangle Gabriel when I see him, really I will. Just a pleasent little trip, he said. Now I've got half the heavenly host corrupted, and the other half putting make up on the drunken shepherds.
And we're meant to be on the move to Bethlehem in the next 20 minutes.
Is there any of that alcohol left...?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
I am your friend...
*shares tim-tams*
Of course you can be a Goth Angel when you grow up. Just like me. We can go shopping, and do each other's hair, and paint our nails, and everything.
To see such a sweet smile on that overly-pale face could be disconcerting.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
But I am not drunk!
All I had was a Starbucks eggnog latte or 6.
However, the Lowliest Shepherd....
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
Of course you can be a Goth Angel when you grow up. Just like me.
Can i play my recorder now please?
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
You can play nothing, Angel 5, after painting me up like a member of Kiss.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
You could accompany me on my drum, pa rum pa pa rum...
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*raises head from hands and nods to Angel5*
Please. Play your recorder. Play it very very loudly.
That might wake up the sheep, at least.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Can i play my recorder now please?
Okay. But none of that wussy ickle Jesus stuff. That's for /girls/ (Goth Angel is a girl. This is irrelevant.)
Play something to wake up those shepherds.
She turns back to the hung-over shepherds And you lot. Get some clothes on. Baby Jesus is waiting for his pressies.
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
When the Chief comes to, I think he'll need a shower. I know that is a very middle-class thing... but-
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
You can play nothing, Angel 5, after painting me up like a member of Kiss.
*grins proudly* She's started a phenonemon. There'll be purple sheep and mascara'd shepherds all over the hill-side in days...
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
Finds a stereo from somewhere and puts wake up it's a beutiful morning on very loudly...
will that do...
*wonders if the black angel will protect her from a
musical director....*
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
I've been taking nothing, all I am saying it appears to be very cult-like around here.
By the way can I have a Tim-Tam to do a Tim-Tam Explosion ( If not a Penguin will do
)
Note to Musical Director - I can juggle very well
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
starts rounding up sheep
Here fleecey fleecey fleecey. Come along and see the nice ickle baby.
*smiles ever-so-sweetly at the shepherds*
Do you think we could get moving some time in the next ten minutes? Please?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Spare Shepherd laces up her Doc Martens.... what trendy sheep herders are all wearing this summer.
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
starts rounding up sheep
*puts her hands on her hips* Now, where did the purple one go? I want him at the front. I can't wait to see what Lavinia makes of him
And, Angel 5, of course I'll protect you. That musical director wouldn't know taste if it came and bit him on the nose.
Posted by angel 5 (# 3696) on
:
shouts very loudly...
if you don't move NOW i will get Herod to decapitate Sven the Moose
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Spare Shepherd:
Spare Shepherd laces up her Doc Martens....
Doc Martens? Don't say that Goth monstrosity has managed to corrupt you too....?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Spare Shepherd twines tinsel around her and Lowliest's heads- to brighten up this festive occasion...
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
Spare Shepherd laces up her Doc Martens....
*cheers*
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
OK Lock and Load and we're outta here
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Spare Shepherd picks up the shepherds' ponchoes, and shakes the dust out of them. She folds them neatly into her backpack.
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
*chivvies along Lowliest shepherd*
I may regret asking this.. but what's a Tim Tam explosion?
Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on
:
quote:
OK Lock and Load and we're outta here
Ahem. And you have packed the pressies. Haven't you? Cos that Lavinia is even worse than Herod when it comes to not getting pressies.
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
biggest scene yet?
Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on
:
While shepherds watched their flocks by night,
All huddled round a stove,
The angel of the Lord came down
And coloured one sheep mauve.
An angel black appeared to them
And they were sore afeard.
They tried to duck behind the sheep
Or hide behind their beards.
“Fear not,” the other angels said
“For we will deal with him.”
The shepherds did not understand
For they were rather dim.
“We know in David’s town this day
The beer is rather fine.
So we are heading to the pub,
The Crown shall be the sign.
A heavenly brew there you shall find
It’s really very good.
Fermented in the age-old way
Conditioned in the wood.
And by the way there also are
Two babies born today
One of them the Son of God
The other, we can’t say.”
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
That musical director wouldn't know taste if it came and bit him on the nose.
So, Limp Angel, you wanna play hard-ball, eh? Lets see how you look with a forced change of dressing room, and costume, and make-up. I think we were looking for a Fairy understudy a few days ago. I think you will fit in quite well. Comprende, senorita?
Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on
:
Spare Shepherd hands her backpack to Lowliest to carry.
Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Fourth Angel:
*chivvies along Lowliest shepherd*
I may regret asking this.. but what's a Tim Tam explosion?
Well you bite of opposite corners of the Tim Tam and suck tea through it (or coffee) - Yum! And it kind of explodes (well melts)
Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on
:
Darn. And I was hoping we'd make 8 pages...
Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on
:
And the curtain comes down...
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