Thread: Scene 12: Other Visitors Board: Nativity Play / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
Just keep smiling, they will be gone soon.

Dans L'etable 4 Star (Michelin) de Bethlehem, the holy family sweetly sleep.
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 
O come all ye faithful
Actors and backstage crew
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.

Mary and Joseph
Innkeeper and Gabriel

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Chief of the Angels
Angels One, Two, Three
Fourth Angel, Five and Six, Black Angel too.

Chief Comic Shepherd
Deputy Chief Shepherd

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Herod and Henchman
The Star and Gift of Gold
Goat, Strings Ferret, The Tealady

Then the First Aider
Back Up Mary, Conductor

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

With Phil the Wise Guy
Wise Man 2 and 3
Chief Wise Man and the Wiseguy

Pontius Pilate,
Stable Cat, Dove, Donkey

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Rudolf the Red-nosed
Sheep One, Two and Three
Dragon and Fairy Godmother

Bee_of_Good_Cheer
Jedi Knight and Whale

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Then Second Magi
Film Director, Wardrobe
Tour Manager and Understudy

Techies One, Two, Three
A Very Naughty Boy

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

General Dogsbody
Horn Section, Percussion
Choreographer and Chief Stage Manager

Singers One, Two, Three
And Dancers One and Two

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Round John Virgin,
Miss SOF and Cow
Third Passer By and Mrs Herod

Elizabeth the Saint
Camel Driver, Peasant

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Jesus' Twin Most Evil
Equity Deputy
Stage Helpers Lowly and Invisible

Together with you
An audience great.

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

We join with our leaders
That's the Director
And Musical Director

Not to mention
Me, I'm The Narrator

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Now we remember
A very special Magi
Who leads our worship from above

Let us join with her
Who, face to face, sees him

O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
O Come let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

Narrator collapses on the stage, exhausted and clutching an empty bottle of Scotch to his chest. The rest of the action will have to take place around him
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat wanders over, sits on narrators chest, and licks narraors face*

sluuuuuurp, slurp, slurp
 

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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
Director seizes bottle from Narrator and drains the last few drops before, too, collapsing in relief.

Phew! I thought for a minute you'd missed me out.

As if you would...
 

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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
Come on then! Where are you all?

Adeste Fideles, as they say.

Venite, venite a Bethlehem. Can't see many of you come ye (ing).

Get a move on, will you.
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Hey everyone, Friday night is party night! So...

*kicks the bass up on 'Friday Night' by S Club 7
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Director:
Phew! I thought for a minute you'd missed me out.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Narrator:

quote:

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Originally posted by Director:
Phew! I thought for a minute you'd missed me out.

---

Prods Director with foot, as they both lie prostrate on the stage

No, but if you're going to start early I may well next time.

---

Prods Narrator back.

Oi you! I cut short tea to launch this, and, shock horror...even had to leave the dirty dishes..UNWASHED!

Major dereliction of domestic duties.



<Considers breaking out into a certain Sheena Easton ditty, then thinks better of it.>
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Wanders nonchalantly backstage with large vodka and coke*

Oooh looks like I'm early for once

*Sits down, kicks her shoes off and lights a cigarette*
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Wakes up.

Sees the box of cigars left by the wise men and begins sniffing it.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Wakes up.

Sees the box of cigars left by the wise men and begins sniffing it.

---

Want a light sheepsy?
 

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Posted by Director (# 3664) on :
 
Wipes face and smiles sweetly at cat.
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Director:
Prods Narrator back.

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:

quote:

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Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Wakes up.

Sees the box of cigars left by the wise men and begins sniffing it.

---

Want a light sheepsy?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
So ... er, is this it?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Nods. Grabs a cigar in his mouth and walks up to Fairy Godmother.

Baaaaaa!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:

So what's the plot tonight then?

We've seen the smelly shepherds and the not so bright men.

Who's turn is it tonight?

---

Er ... everyone else. Whoever turns up. So at this rate - there is no plot tonight. Go back to your lives people.

*plays Funeral March*
 

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Posted by Baby Jesus (# 3729) on :
 
wakes up, smiles beatifically at BVM

gu-gle?


 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Rudolph puts out his cigar after glance from Mother Mary, then eats it. Not bad, he thinks, more tasty than that hay they use around the stable.

Shuffles up to the sleeping infants, looking so innocent. Wonders where the other sheep have gone, thinks they might want some cigars, too.

Softly Baaaaaaaa.
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
We've seen the smelly shepherds and the not so bright men.

Who's turn is it tonight?

---

The smelly and not so bright everyone else.

Fancy meeting you here.
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 emerges from her safe, cozy corner in the stable]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Rising from her comfortable bale of hay, Mary glances at her poor blue dress and looks a little less serene than usual. Straightening her attire and pulling whisps of straw out of her hair, she smiles sheepishly and withdraws behind the mound of straw backstage to change. She emerges some moments later looking slightly more radient (or rather, less radient, having had chance for a wash) and in a new, and rather becoming dress of ...er... blue.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Whistles to self*

Oh well

*Looks around for something interesting to do*
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Baby Jesus:
wakes up, smiles beatifically at BVM

gu-gle?

---

 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 sniffs at Rudolph, smells tobacco, and curls her lip in disgust]

Bleaaaaaaaa.

[Takes a kick at him]
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Looks Mary up and down*

I've told you before - that colour don't suit you.

Good grief - are you auditioning for syle challenge or something?
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Mary casts the Fairy Godmother a not-so-serene and angelic look and chooses to ignore her comment. After all, just look at what she's wearing. Not that the Mother of God would dream of criticising, of course


 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Looks around stable*

This place could do with a good go over as well

I know it's a stable but barn conversions are all the rage nowadays

Could fetch a good price on todays housing market
 

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Posted by Baby Jesus (# 3729) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Baby Jesus:
wakes up, smiles beatifically at BVM

gu-gle?

---

---

*jingle*
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
You know, you're right. This old stable has a lot of potential. Do you think it would look good in... say, ... blue?
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Looks at Sheep 3, thinking he needs to chill out. Butts Sheep 3.
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
I know it's a stable but barn conversions are all the rage nowadays

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
You know, you're right. This old stable has a lot of potential. Do you think it would look good in... say, ... blue?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
What we really need is someone who could knock together some new furniture, put a few shelves up or something. A sort of Handy Andy or something.

Glances at the snoring Joseph

Or maybe not!

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Angel:
*Chief Angel wanders in, dressed as a poor, old woman, and, speaking in a Welsh accent, says:*

My name is Babushka and the wise men told me about this saviour boy. I couldn't think of anything to bring, so I didn't go with them to visit Jerusalem. But they said to follow the star if I wanted to worship the baby, so here I am. Not very bright were they, I mean they said Jerusalem and here I am in Bethlehem.

*Thinks for a moment*

I mean, this is the right stable, isn't it?

---

How lovely to see you, Babushka! Look, the babies are here. This points proudly is ickle Jesus and this points just as proudly but doesn't let her finger get as close is ickle Lavinia.

Are you any good at sewing curtains, by the way?
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Look - I managed to get to Ikea yesterday.

Wanna have a look at the latest catalogue - they have a good range in shelving units that even a moron like your husband could put together
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Hold on a minute. Was that my phone?

Dashes over to the haystack and hurriedly digs through it to where her mobile phone has sunk in amongst the hay during the night. She presses a key, reads the text and pales



For a moment she ponders this thing in her heart. Then she glances at the wall... would it look better with a moose's head on a plaque on the wall? She saw something like that in the foyer of the Plaza and it did look quite good
 

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Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
What we really need is someone who could knock together some new furniture, put a few shelves up or something. A sort of Handy Andy or something.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
A few sheepskin wall hangings to set off the natural wood - with the purple one as a rug on the restored floorboards that would be good painted black

---

Fixes a suspicious gaze at Fairy Godmother.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Narrator:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
What we really need is someone who could knock together some new furniture, put a few shelves up or something. A sort of Handy Andy or something.

---

How about a brainy Brian?

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Or a crafty Chris
 

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Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
Aah! What lovely babies!

She looks lovely whilst she's asleep, but I'd say she's a pain when she's awake, yesno?

He looks adorable! And the baby of our Lord? Which one?


 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
TXT TO HRD

GOT UR TXT
I AM SURE U DONT MEAN IT
U R A NICE CHAP REALLY
Y NOT CUM 3 T
& C THE BABES
U CAN ADORE THEM
IF U LIKE

BRING A GIFT

LUV MARY
 

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Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :
 
TXT TO MARY.

THANX, BUT I'D RATHER CHEW MY OWN TESTICLES OFF.
DID YOU GET THE JAR OF BABY FOOD I SENT WITH THE WISEMEN?
LOVE HEROD.
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Angel:
Aah! What lovely babies!

She looks lovely whilst she's asleep, but I'd say she's a pain when she's awake, yesno?

---

quote:

---

He looks adorable! And the baby of our Lord? Which one?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Herod:
TXT TO MARY.

THANX, BUT I'D RATHER CHEW MY OWN TESTICLES OFF.
DID YOU GET THE JAR OF BABY FOOD I SENT WITH THE WISEMEN?
LOVE HEROD.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
He's God's son, you know. Got his father's eyes.

---

Yes, I can see that now. It's always the eyes that give the father away, I've thought.

*'Babushka' adores the baby Jesus*

If you ever need a babysitter, you call on me, yesno? They don't call me 'The Old Mother' for nothing you know...
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Do you fancy a bit of a shopping spree Mary?

Could do Ikea and a few other places and be back before the babes wake.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Do you fancy a bit of a shopping spree Mary?

Could do Ikea and a few other places and be back before the babes wake.

---

It's really tempting, Godmother, but the trouble is... I'm expecting visitors. And the one thing I am starting to learn about visitors is that you never know when they are going to turn up.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chief Angel:
*suddenly remembers something*

You said something about curtains? It's just that, well, I haven't got a gift to give, and, well, I can sew.

---

Just perfect

See all that blue material thrown in the corner there (points to Mary's cast offs) ideal for a couple of pairs at least.

Probably enough for a throw and matching cushion covers as well
 

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Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
Just popping to check that all is well and that all my angels are behaving themselves
 

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Posted by Jesus' evil twin (# 3702) on :
 
Shopping? Did someone say shopping?
 

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Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :
 
What is that you are sewing, Chief Angel? Not so hard up that you have to take in sewing, I trust. You know the rules about second jobs.
 

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Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*takes both suggestions on board*

Alright then, my dears. I could use a cuppa if there's one going, and some choccie biccies?

*takes blue material and sets up her sewing machine in the corner - nothing like being prepared, is there now? *
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Shopping? Did someone say shopping?

---

Strange how quickly some kids learn to speak
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Now that's perfect timing... Godmother, why not take your Goddaughter shopping? A good bonding opportunity for you before the Christening.

Ponders a little about Christening Christ, but decides to leave that thought until a more convenient time. After all, she has a colour scheme to devise.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
Now that's perfect timing... Godmother, why not take your Goddaughter shopping? A good bonding opportunity for you before the Christening.

Ponders a little about Christening Christ, but decides to leave that thought until a more convenient time. After all, she has a colour scheme to devise.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tour Manager:
Complete Road and Track Guide to Judea and Galilee (including Egypt) 2004 Gold Edition

---

Picks up the gift

Hmmm, here's one which might come in useful... I've always fancied a holiday in Egypt... but I don't suppose we can afford it really.
 

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Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :
 
hi all,

anything (not too) nice i can do?

A1
 

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Posted by Jonah the Whale (# 1244) on :
 
<Waddles on Stage right>

Er... Moo..
 

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Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :
 
ooh, p.s. brought gift, a rubix cube. hours of fun! (or hours of annoyance, either one!)
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Waddles back in from shopping trip and dumps baby Lavinia in crib*

That child is impossible - each time I went into a shop she left with more items than I lawfully bought
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
<blushes, shuffles rapidly offstage, reemerges wearing hastily donned plastic udder>

Er... Moooo.
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Hello recently-descended-angel. If you want to help go rustle up some other visitors, please!
 

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Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cow:
<blushes, shuffles rapidly offstage, reemerges wearing hastily donned plastic udder>

Er... Moooo.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gabriel:
What is that you are sewing, Chief Angel? Not so hard up that you have to take in sewing, I trust. You know the rules about second jobs.

---

*Chief Angel leans across to Gabriel and points up the thread*

Right near the top somewhere - you'll see I'm playing Babushka, the poor, old, Russian peasant lady who visits Our Lord in a certain legend of the same name. It's just we were thin on the ground on stage, what with everyone having passed through already pretty much, so I
m just filling in the gap until something happens. However, if you're up for a song and dance routine...


 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
I wish someone would rustle up a cup of te -I'm parched
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:
did you get confused?!

ha ha ha ha!

A1

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:
Hello recently-descended-angel. If you want to help go rustle up some other visitors, please!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:
Right. against my better judgement i have used my psychic powers and spread the word.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
I wish someone would rustle up a cup of te -I'm parched

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:
Right. against my better judgement i have used my psychic powers and spread the word.

---

Psychotic powers, eh? I know all about those...

*X-Files Theme*
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Now then Mary - I suppose you'd like to know what I managed to get (legally that is) without the aid of Lavinia's sticky fingers

*Picks up shopping bags which seem to have multiplied*
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
Who's got the warmest hands?
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cow:
Who's got the warmest hands?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:
Right. against my better judgement i have used my psychic powers and spread the word.

---

Psychotic powers, eh? I know all about those...

*X-Files Theme*

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musical Director:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Angel 1:
Right. against my better judgement i have used my psychic powers and spread the word.

---

Psychotic powers, eh? I know all about those...

*X-Files Theme*

---

You want psychotic? I can do psychotic. . .

now where are those scissors?. .

---

I think Lavinia's playing with them
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Fairy Godmother, come on... get those bags open.

Blows serenely on her hands to warm them up a bit
 

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Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :
 
I'm off to find some mischief.
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
Riiight... I'm just going to..

stand over

here

where no one will notice me any more

<clumps across and stands in a corner behind a hay bale>
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Right now

I though you might like something for baby Jesus

*Rumages*

Here we are - took ages to find it

*Pulls out a small bracelet with 4 beads on it*

It says WWID - though I'm not sure what it means but it looks nice
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Did you get one for Lavinia too?
 

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Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :
 
I'm off to find some mischief. I wonder whether Herod or his henchmen are around?
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
She managed to get herself a lot of things - only just got her out of one store before all the alarms went off
 

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Posted by WorkInProgress (# 3597) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cow:
Riiight... I'm just going to..

stand over

here

where no one will notice me any more

<clumps across and stands in a corner behind a hay bale>

---

Excuse me, Mr Cow but I'm trying to sew. If you want to sit round here, you couldn't just sit there could you? So nobody else tramples on the curtains? The alternative is a fate worse than Old Macdonald's farm
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Kettle's boiled. Who's for a cuppa? Just to pass the time, like.
 

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Posted by WorkInProgress (# 3597) on :
 
Ooooh yes please! down here, behind the Mr Cow... But can it be a coffee, if you don't mind dear - bigger caffeine fix and all...
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
Kettle's boiled. Who's for a cuppa? Just to pass the time, like.

---

Please - and in that bag you'll find some cream cakes and chocolate digestives
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
[Santa Hat On]

Would the person with the 'L' plate on their back please mind getting in costume. Thanks ever so.

[Santa Hat Off]
 

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Posted by WorkInProgress (# 3597) on :
 
*suddenly realises she changed out of her costume and runs off stage*

 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by WorkInProgress:
Mr Cow

---

Oi!!

<points at very large and obvious plastic udder>

I didn't go to all this trouble just to be called Mr. Cow. It's not very comfortable either you know!
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Cream cake Chris?
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Well, the curtains are coming on a treat, thanks Babushka. Fairy Godmother, I bet you've got us some good accessories there. Someone pass the Musical Director a paint brush and this lovely tin of blue paint, we might as well make use of him as there's not much call for music at the moment.
 

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Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*dressed as the-Chief-Angel-goes-Babushka, she slopes back on and sits in her corner, hoping nobody notices her flaming cheeks*

 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 goes over to Chief Angel and snuggles up against her]

Baaaaa
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
Well, the curtains are coming on a treat, thanks Babushka. Fairy Godmother, I bet you've got us some good accessories there. Someone pass the Musical Director a paint brush and this lovely tin of blue paint, we might as well make use of him as there's not much call for music at the moment.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cow:

quote:

---

Originally posted by WorkInProgress:
Mr Cow

---

Oi!!

<points at very large and obvious plastic udder>

I didn't go to all this trouble just to be called Mr. Cow. It's not very comfortable either you know!

---

Okay, sorry, and I won't sing it. Thanks for moving, by the way
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Oh Chief Angel, it's you! That Babushka costume was very convincing, but I'd have recognised that dainty stitching anywhere
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
Managed to pick up a lovely mirror from the market -I'm sure one of the angels will be able to create a mosaic around the edge to give it some style

And I found some lovely lampshades that will match the rustic theme of the living room
 

---

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mother Mary:
Oh Chief Angel, it's you! That Babushka costume was very convincing, but I'd have recognised that dainty stitching anywhere

---

Why thank-you your highness (mother of the King and all that), glad to be of service. We do anything we can to help the babes through their first few days as humans.

But I thought the disguise would be good as you were a bit slow on visitors tonight...
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
Anyone wanting milk in their tea or cocoa had better speak up now, cos I'm going to lie down for a good long rest in a few minutes. All this cud chewing is exhausting you know.
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
We really could do with Joseph putting up a few shelves and building a stylish brick fireplace, but I think he's nipped out to deliver the census forms. I'll just get busy with these stencils and create an original abstract design on the walls.
 

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :
 
Cream cake would be lovely, as well as a decent whisky if there's one going. While I've got the iron out do you want me to do the curtains?

*hums 'When Father Papered The Parlour'*
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cow:
Anyone wanting milk in their tea or cocoa had better speak up now, cos I'm going to lie down for a good long rest in a few minutes. All this cud chewing is exhausting you know.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cow:
Anyone wanting milk in their tea or cocoa had better speak up now, cos I'm going to lie down for a good long rest in a few minutes. All this cud chewing is exhausting you know.

---

Thank you, dear Mrs Cow. Ladies, one squirt or two?
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
Ooh, that tickles!!
 

---

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Musical Director:
Cream cake would be lovely, as well as a decent whisky if there's one going. While I've got the iron out do you want me to do the curtains?

*hums 'When Father Papered The Parlour'*

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mother Mary:
Thank you, dear Mrs Cow. Ladies, one squirt or two?

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Suddenly notices the Musical Director being particularly helpful with the ironing of the curtains

Oh, and gentleman!

Smiles serenely at the cow
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 watches the milking of the cow and wonders how they are getting milk out a plastic udder attached to a whale]

Baaa

[Sheep 3 continues to chew her cud and stare]
 

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Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :
 
*as the curtains, cushions and throws are all now finished, the chief angel, no longer wearing the Babushka get-up, falls asleep between the sheep and the whale*


 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
The Changing Stables team take a well earned break with cakes and a cuppa, while the cow is given a handful of hay in gratitude for her contribution. The new design is taking shape.... what a surprise for Joseph when he gets home.
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 watches the milking of the cow and wonders how they are getting milk out a plastic udder attached to a whale]

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Wonders of modern technology Sheep 3!
 

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Posted by The Cow (# 3656) on :
 
Chews happily on a handful of hay. Lies down and drifts off to a contented sleep.

Moo...zzzz.
 

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Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :
 
*Puts the WWID bracelet around baby Jesus' wrist*

Right me loves I'd best be off -

Oh by the way this is for Lavinia

*Hands Mary a book*

It's called "How to win friends and inluence people" -I think she might need it one day
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Mary, attentive mother as ever, takes the babies from their respective sleeping places and retired behind the haystack with them. Well, they deserve a supper-break too! She returns and places the sweetly sleeping Jesus gently in the manger. She sadly has to wind Lavinia thoroughly, and deal serenely with a little projectile vomit down the back of her blue dress, before placing her gently down in the water trough which Joseph so thoughtfully drained and filled with hay earlier in the day.

This place is looking good. Great work, chaps. I need a rest, though, after all that stencilling. If anyone else comes to visit, don't let them wake the babies, will you? They can put any presents on the new shelf over there.
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Rudolph looks around the stable, at the new color scheme, then realizes he clashes with just about everything in the room.
 

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Posted by Mother Mary (# 3799) on :
 
Mary settles down and drifts gently to sleep, sparing only a second's thought as to why it is taking Joseph so long to post those census forms.
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[And Sheep 3 thinks that the dark red dye threatened by Black Angel might have gone very nicely with the new color scheme.]

Baaa
 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat looks hopefully at all this milk being squirted around*

mrrrrrttttt?????
 

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Posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep (# 3667) on :
 
Finds a pile of hay, next to the cow, where no one will notice how out of sync purple is with the color of the rest of the stable, and goes to sleep.


 

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Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :
 
*stable cat, realizing theres no one awake to give her her milk, resorts to licking out the leftover drops in the cups, then curls up next to the sheep*

puuuurrrrrrr.......
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3, being the only one left awake, settles down to chew her cud and wait for any Other Visitors to arrive]

Baa

*chew, chew*
 

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Posted by Passer-by 3 (# 3711) on :
 
[Enters stage right, rolling up measuring tape as unravelled during Scene 11. Exits stage left, continuing to roll up aforementioned measuring tape]
 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 watches the strange human rolling up some odd metal thing.]

Baaaaaaaaaaa?

[Ignored, Sheep 3 continues chewing her cud.]

*chew, chew*
 

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Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :
 
[still in fits of giggles over Cow coming in as Whale

Because I can't sing this with my own children this year, I'll stand off-stage right and softly sing it to Baby Jesus with imagined acoustic guitar accompaniment]

Pastores a Belen
Vamos con allegria
Que a nacido ya
El Hijo de Maria

Allí! Allí! Nos espera Jesús!
Allí! Allí! nos espera Jesús!
Ya vuemos pues turrones y miel
Para ofrecerle Al Niño Manuel

Vamos, vamos; vamos y ver!
Vamos y ver al recien nacido!
Vamos y ver Al Niño Manuel.

O Niño Celestial
Bendice al los pastores
Que corren al portal
Cantando tus loores.

Allí! Allí! Nos espera Jesús!
Allí! Allí! nos espera Jesús!
Ya vuemos pues turrones y miel
Para ofrecerle Al Niño Manuel.

Vamos, vamos; vamos y ver!
Vamos y ver al recien nacido!
Vamos y ver Al Niño Manuel.

[the guitar fades sweetly into the night]






Shepherds to Bethlehem
Let us go with joy
To the already born infant
The son of Mary

Chorus:

There, there! Jesus waits for us!
(repeat)
Let us take turrones (spanish candy) and honey
To offer to the baby boy Emmanuel.

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go and see!
Let's go and see the recently born one;
Let's go and see the Baby Boy Emmanuel.

Oh Heavenly Baby Boy
Bless the shepherds
That come to the door
Singing your praises.

(repeat chorus)
 

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Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :
 
[tip toes quietly to the aforementioned shelf designated for reception of presents from Other Visitors and leaves:]

For Baby Jesus:
A rather large stuffed Eeyore; not blue, but grey; with an unbuttonable tail.
A video copy of "The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged)" performed by the Reduced Shakespeare Company.

For Lavinia:
A real Tasmanian Devil to be her pet.
A video copy of "The Reduced Shakespeare Company; The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)"
 

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Posted by Joseph (# 3666) on :
 
Walks through door of stable, looking mightily refreshed.

Posted the census forms, Mary!

Looks around.

Like what you've done, ladies!

However, it's clear that we need to get some furniture in here too. Let's see... a nice stack of shelves ought to do the trick. And then maybe a wardrobe for my dear wife to keep her charming garments in...

There is much sawing, filing, sanding and hammering.

A-ha! All done.

What do you people think? Should I give them a quick lick of paint? Maybe some blue would be nice. It does seem to be the colour of the moment.

Liberally splashes blue paint all over his new creations.

Well, it's all in a day's work for Joseph Carpenter. And now I'm going back to sleep...


 

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Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :
 
[Sheep 3 notices that the Eeyore is grey, not blue, and gazes at it adoringly.]

Baaaaaa.
 

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Posted by Donkey (# 3752) on :
 
(goes over to the Eeyore)
Hay, Cous!! Watchin' doin' here? Come to adore the new born king? Well, let me tell, you, he's somethin' else! Hay, aren't you,.... What is this? It's fake! This ain't my cous! It's stuffed! Well, some can be real, some can be imitation. I am always the real thing! Hay, what a great idea! Be back in just a bit, I think I saw a toy store with a Donkey in the window! Just the thing for Jesus to have! Here, we'll just let Lavinia have this old Eeyore here....
(Donkey puts the Eeyore in Lavinia's crib. It almost makes her seem, like, normal!)
 

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© Ship of Fools 2016


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