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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Devil and the car
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by primordial_soup_dragon and Neil:
A Mother Superior and novice nun were out for a drive one morning. The novice was behind the wheel and everything was fine until suddenly the Devil jumped out from behind a tree and onto the hood of the car.
The novice slammed on the brakes in horror and wailed, "Mother Superior! What should I do?"
"Show him your cross," the Mother Superior calmly replied.
Heeding her words, the novice quickly rolled down her window, leant out and yelled, "Get off the frigging car you ugly bastard!"
[ 07. July 2005, 00:04: Message edited by: Simon ]
Poll information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 128 user(s) have voted.
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
I enjoyed this one on The Vicar of Dibley and still enjoy it.
I think it is best as a spoken one. If you're a grammar-Nazi like me and you read it, the "your" / "you're" misunderstanding is a bit harder to spot [at least for me].
3 laughs.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Glimmer
Ship's Lantern
# 4540
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Posted
Not bad. Heard it before in other guises (V of D has rarely been original). Best orally delivered, as they say.
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The original, unchanged 4540.
The Temple area, Ankh Morpork
Posts: 1749 | From: Ankh Morpork, Dorset | Registered: May 2003
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
Slight snigger, even though I've heard it before.
C
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arse
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
I've also heard it with the swearing removed (the teller simply shouts 'GET OFF MY CAR!' very loudly).
This means the joke is only a pun, whereas the version in the OP also has the element of a nun swearing. Whether that makes it funnier or not is a matter of taste. (ETA: and of course the level of swearing varies with the teller - this one's pretty mild.)
[ 06. July 2005, 08:19: Message edited by: Gill H ]
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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LupinPooter
Apprentice
# 9690
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Posted
It's an oldie but a goodie. I think it's the pun that makes it funny - apart from explaining why they would have a cross, I'm not sure the nuns really add anything to the humour.
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"he had read and absorbed more than he could understand so he lived by pastiche and pretence"
Posts: 4 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I don't know, the reason I found this as funny as I did was partly because it reminded me of Pyx_e. I could just see him leaning out of the window shouting "Get off my car you ugly nun".
Sorry Pyx_e.
![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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serena
Apprentice
# 7649
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Posted
This one gets me every time - although yes, it works better orally, because the your/you're confusion is more evident, rather than looking like an irritating typo!
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S
xXx
Posts: 6 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
In my language, "cross" and "crotch" are the same word. So for a moment I was expecting a completely different ending! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Auntie Doris
Screen Goddess
# 9433
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Posted
*giggle* and that thought made me laugh even more than the actual joke!!! ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Auntie Doris x
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"And you don't get to pronounce that I am not a Christian. Nope. Not in your remit nor power." - iGeek in response to a gay-hater :)
The life and times of a Guernsey cow
Posts: 6019 | From: The Rock at the Centre of the Universe | Registered: May 2005
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Midnight Scholar
Shipmate
# 9112
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Posted
Version I heard before involves Dracula rather than Satan - this one's still worth a giggle though.
One of the funnier offerings so far IMO, thanks
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth.
Deal with it.
Posts: 129 | From: out there | Registered: Feb 2005
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angelfish
Shipmate
# 8884
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Posted
This is one of my favourite jokes, as I love the idea of the nuns sitting serenely in the car until the younger one winds down the window and lets fly at the devil. I think that sudden contrasts or changes of mood can be very humorous, as well as the incongruity of (a)nuns driving cars and (b)nuns being angry.
Not at all offensive, which is why I like it so much.
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"As God is my witness, I WILL kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!"
Posts: 1017 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Carys
Ship's Celticist
# 78
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ian Climacus:
I enjoyed this one on The Vicar of Dibley and still enjoy it.
I think it is best as a spoken one. If you're a grammar-Nazi like me and you read it, the "your" / "you're" misunderstanding is a bit harder to spot [at least for me].
3 laughs.
Indeed. I had to go back and read the line again to get it!
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O Lord, you have searched me and know me
You know when I sit and when I rise
Posts: 6896 | From: Bryste mwy na thebyg | Registered: May 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
With my love for plays on words, and jokes which hinge on misunderstanding of what someone says, I enjoyed this one. I understand that, when Henry VIII first heard it, he nearly fell out of his cradle laughing.
I could picture the Monty Python crew making this an hilarious sketch - on paper, it still is mildly funny.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153
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Posted
Funniest with Dracula - because vampires are conventionally repelled by crucifixes, and the same is not so obviously true of the Devil. If I was hearing (rather than reading) it for the first time, I'm not sure that I'd get cross=symbol for dealing with the Devil - I could easily make the same mistake as the novice nun. With a vampire, the association with the sign of the cross is already there.
What makes it funny is firstly the pun, secondly, the nun swearing, and thirdly, her belief that very powerful supernaturally evil creatures might just go away if you shout loudly enough at them. That's touching and humane, and not at all offensive.
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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"
Richard Dawkins
Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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iGeek.*
Resident alien
# 3207
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Posted
Doesn't travel across the Atlantic well; "cross" as in "angry" is understood on this side of the pond but is in rare usage. I imagine the non-anglophile would be more likely be perplexed.
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.sig on holiday
Posts: 702 | From: Hot-on-us, TX | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
I liked it when I first heard it and like it now. Best not printed: verbal. Big laugh and no offense.
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Paul Mason
Shipmate
# 7562
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Posted
The version I heard was also with Dracula and funnier because the swearing was worse - so the shock of a nun swearing was part of what made it funny.
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Now posting as LatePaul
Posts: 452 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Funny, because it has a silly pun but also plays on the stereotypes of nuns (as not being the type to be cross) – and nuns are pretty funny anyway.
Not at all offensive, as the language is clearly been chosen so as not to offend.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Long-Johns Silver
Apprentice
# 1763
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Posted
The version I knew had the nun saying "get off my car you naughty, naughty, devil" much funnier in this instance as it plays on the innocence & ties in with being 'cross' as opposed to "angry", "pissed off" etc.
Also in the milder version it can be used in the pulpit
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"Smile", they said "it could be worse".
So I did...
And it was.
Posts: 49 | From: "The Church" - Church Inn that is :-) | Registered: Nov 2001
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Julian4
Shipmate
# 9937
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Posted
I like "get off my car you naughty, naughty, devil", too. I'm not particularly bothered by swearing in jokes but this is just funnier without. I agree it would be better heard rather than read - the "your"/"you're" pun only works aurally, but it should be a vampire rather than a devil. Quite funny in any of these versions, not offensive.
Posts: 305 | From: Dorset | Registered: Aug 2005
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The Exegesis Fairy
Shipmate
# 9588
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Posted
I always thought it was better with the vampire myself.
*sniggers anyway*
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I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Posts: 500 | From: the clear blue sky | Registered: Jun 2005
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