Ship of Fools: Grandad goes to confession

Thread: Grandad goes to confession Board: The Laugh Judgment / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Simon (# 1) on :

Joke submitted by Lurker McLurker:

An 80 year old man went into the confessional and told the priest the following: "Father, I am an 80 year old man, I'm married, I have four children and 11 grandchildren. Last night I strayed and had an affair with two 18 year old girls. We made love all night long."

The priest said, "My son, when was the last time you were at confession?"

The old man said, "I have never been to confession. I'm Jewish."

The priest said, "Then why are you here telling me this?"

The old man replied, "Father, I'm telling everyone!"

[ 18. July 2005, 22:41: Message edited by: Simon ]

Posted by da_musicman (# 1018) on :

Wasn't this an old beer advert?

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

Not Guiness. Perhaps some American beer. It's the sort of thing almost any man could relate to. If it were you, and you were a Jewish guy, an octagenarian, wouldn't you want a wide audience for your story?

I've heard it before. My wife told it to me. It's still damn funny.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

It's just dawned on me that this would be funnier in conversation than it is written down. Odd. I don't know why that would be. Perhaps because it would be punchier if you didn't have the narrative, just the dialogue?

[ 17. July 2005, 06:47: Message edited by: Ariel ]

Posted by Newman's Own (# 420) on :

For an old man (probably married forever) to be bragging about spending the night with two young women is reasonably funny. I could only imagine someone's being offended if it seemed to make light of adultery, or the youth of the women made the man seem lecherous.

I did not find this offensive at all.

Posted by SteveTom (# 23) on :

It was Stella Artois - in which he wasn't Jewish.

Posted by nicolemrw (# 28) on :

i think it would be just as funny and less offensive if the man said "oh i've never been to confession, i'm not catholic". rather than "i'm jewish".

that way it ceases being a "jewish" joke and simply becomes a "human nature" joke.

Posted by Callan (# 525) on :

I don't read it as a Jewish joke. The test is that you can replace Jewish with Anglican, Methodist or for that matter Jain, Sikh or atheist.

A Jewish joke would hinge on a popular stereotypical characteristic of Jews. I submit that having sex with two women is not such a popular stereotype.

Atheist would probably work better because atheists tend not to have such strong views about the rightness and wrongness of sexual activity outside marriage whereas much of the Christian tradition of taking a stand against this sort of thing - careful now - derives from Judaism. Having a Jew seems subtly wrong. But the point of: "I've never been to confession, I'm an X" merely establishes that the protagonist is not Catholic and sets up the punchline.

[ 20. July 2005, 19:17: Message edited by: Callan ]

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

It doesn't work nearly as well if the old guy is Baptist or Muslim, does it? I would submit that in fact it does belong in the file with the jokes about lecherous octogenarian Jews. (And yes, I know some)

Posted by Tag (# 5413) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
It doesn't work nearly as well if the old guy is Baptist or Muslim, does it? I would submit that in fact it does belong in the file with the jokes about lecherous octogenarian Jews. (And yes, I know some)

For me it works exactly as well if the man is Baptist or Muslim - it had never occurred to me that the "I'm Jewish" part signified anything other than (rather more concisely) "I am a person unlikely to have any wish to confess my sins to Roman Catholic priest". I suppose it just goes to show that people find different humour in the same jokes....

Posted by rewboss (# 566) on :

Interestingly, in the same way that the best Irish jokes are the ones told by the Irish, so the best Jewish jokes are the ones told by the Jews.

There's a vaguely similar scene -- but in a way reversed -- in the film Picking up the Pieces -- in which the Jewish character Tex, played by Woody Allen, goes to Confession to tell the priest that, yes, he did actually kill his wife and yes, the hand performing all those miracles was hers, not the Virgin Mary's. He suddenly realises that the priest has a girl in there with him -- his girlfriend, the village tart, had just chosen that minute to reconcile herself to him and declare her love in a form rather more tangible than appropriate in the House of God. Still, Tex has never been to confession before, so although he's slightly taken aback, he continues to make his confession.

The interesting question here is: Would this joke be less offensive if told by Woody Allen? Or, indeed, Rabbi Walter Rothschild? Now, if we changed "Jewish" to "Methodist", would it suddenly become offensive in Woody Allen's mouth but unobjectionable coming from whoever is this year's President of Conference?

Posted by Mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Tag:
For me it works exactly as well if the man is Baptist or Muslim -

Same here.

Posted by The Coot (# 220) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
It doesn't work nearly as well if the old guy is Baptist or Muslim, does it? I would submit that in fact it does belong in the file with the jokes about lecherous octogenarian Jews. (And yes, I know some)

I haven't come across this stereotype (above average distribution of lechy randy old men) applied to Jewish ppl, so it didn't trip my anti-ethnic group meter.

Actually, I think it is positive [Angel]

an 80 yr old bloke able to go the night with 2 young girlies is something to be impressed about.

The adultery aspect is probably not essential though assists to set the scene - makes more plausible why he should be in the confessional in the first place. I was expecting a wisecrack from the priest as a punchline, so the result was a surprise and very funny.

I do like Nicole's 'I'm not Catholic' suggestion - which would make the joke stronger I think. Why mention an ethnic group if you don't have to?

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

I think when I heard it before it was worded simply, "I'm not Catholic," and that does get the point across just as well without the risk of offending any group.

Not that humor should never risk offending people...

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