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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Multifaith plane flight
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by Stan Jones:
A rabbi got onto a plane and took the last seat available, surrounded by Muslims. There was an uncomfortable silence, but the rabbi took off his shoes and settled in for the flight.
After takeoff, there were several minutes of whispers and note passing. The rabbi broke the ice. "I'm getting a Coke. Can I get you all a Coke, too?"
While he was gone, the Muslims each spit in his shoes. He returned with the drinks and the rest of the flight was more relaxed. As the plane landed, the rabbi put on his shoes and realized at once what had happened.
"When?" he cried, "will we stop spitting in shoes and peeing in Cokes?"
[ 27. July 2005, 09:03: Message edited by: Simon ]
Poll information
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
A disappointing version of a good Old Firm joke with a much stronger punchline ![[Frown]](frown.gif) Not offensive, just not funny.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Laughed my ass off! I'd never heard this before but I love it!
I can see how this could be offensive, yet IMHO the entertainment value is so great it completely overshadows whatever grain of offense may exist. Also, the joke possesses a strong element of irony. Muslims and Jews indeed do vile things to each (in the Middle East, viz. suicide bombers and outlaw settlements), and this puts a human face on such pain.
[ 21. July 2005, 02:03: Message edited by: KenWritez ]
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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sugar mouse
Apprentice
# 9828
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Posted
That did make make me laugh - took me a while to get it, but I think thats just me being slow.
But again, this is good natured humour - I want to hear some offensive jokes that might actually be effected by the proposed ban.
sugarmouse
Posts: 6 | From: leeds | Registered: Jul 2005
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angelica37
Shipmate
# 8478
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Posted
don't get this one
I'm a bit slow today ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Posts: 1351 | From: Suffolk | Registered: Sep 2004
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SteveTom
Contributing Editor
# 23
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Posted
Nice one.
I particularly like the moral ambiguity between whether the Rabbi is the hero who turns out to have got one over on his persecutors, or a complete bastard.
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I saw a naked picture of me on the internet
Wearing Jesus's new snowshoes.
Well, golly gee.
- Eels
Posts: 1363 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
I have a weak stomach, and jokes with such references tend to make me feel ill.
I did not find this joke offensive in the religious realm - it's all too true on the level of what members of faiths which were great rivals do to spite one another.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lurker McLurker™
Ship's stowaway
# 1384
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Posted
It's shitting in shoes. You wouldn't "realise at once" that someone had spat in your shoe when you put it on, how much saliva is this Muslim supposed to have?
3/5 for humour value. A joke with a good twist, and a healthy dose of creative nastiness but loses 2 points for spoiling it by bowdlerisation.
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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?
Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001
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Dinghy Sailor
Ship's Jibsheet
# 8507
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Posted
I think it's meant to be all the rest of the plane that have spat in the shoes.
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Preach Christ, because this old humanity has used up all hopes and expectations, but in Christ hope lives and remains.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 2821 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
Even if it's "shitting in shoes", I still don't really get it. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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whitelodge
Shipmate
# 3339
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Posted
"Shitting in shoes" seems superficially funnier because it's ruder. But I think maybe the rabbi has to have done something worse than his Muslim neighbours for a satisfying pay-off.
Plus, if you've already described the alarming image of a Muslim guy taking a crap in a rabbi's shoe on a crowded plane, then the idea of pissing in a bottle in secret is kind of weak.
This one needs to be told out loud and well, then either variant would probably work. But spitting's better.
[ 23. July 2005, 17:51: Message edited by: whitelodge ]
Posts: 130 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
A planeful of people shitting in someone's shoes would quickly turn said shoes into a huge and obvious pile of manure, thus ruining the revelation at the end of the flight of what the Muslims had done.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
If you use defecation instead of spitting, the whole business becomes so implausible as to undermine the joke from the beginning: even if only one Muslim crapped in the shoes, the smell would have been apparent at once, and the idea of a whole bunch of guys successfully crapping in a pair of shoes (on a commercial flight yet) beggars belief. The spitting is, at least, plausible, and we forget either how many cokes the rabbi must be carrying or the logistics of peeing into each one of them (maybe he just shook it over the tray, nu?)
[ 23. July 2005, 19:48: Message edited by: Amos ]
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Phaedrus
Apprentice
# 4876
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Posted
Sadly for me the joke was spoilt as I kept asking myself if I had ever been on a plane where I could go and get a drink.
They always bring the drink to me but I can't decide if that's because I fly a better or worse class than the folk in the joke.
So the joke would work better for me if it's on a train.
Posts: 14 | From: Scotland | Registered: Aug 2003
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AdamPater
Sacristan of the LavaLamp
# 4431
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Posted
Nearly new joke for me... heard it a couple of years ago, but about geologists and metallurgists. (You'd have to work on a mine-site to appreciate that version.)
(Before pyx_e gets me) very funny because it homes in on a universal human foible and the random warfare that besets us all. And the fact that it's set on a plane makes it kind of eschatological.
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Put not your trust in princes.
Posts: 4894 | From: On the left of the big pink bit. | Registered: Apr 2003
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
While it's outside of the category of topics I would look for humour in (interracial hate) and probably not one I would repeat (changing the world, one joke at a time, that's me ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) ), I did find it amusing. The supposed victim doing a nice thing turns out to be just as much a bastard... (or a bigger one if you think piss in your coke is worse than spit in your shoes). That's pretty funny.
I think the racial context is acceptable because the parties are on a equal footing. Piss and spit are pretty equally matched.
I am sort of questioning my response: Do I laugh because I harbour the suspicion that Muslims and Jews are the sort of bastards that would behave like that?
I tried a few different millieus: the Revd Paisley and a group of nuns; the Holy Father and a group of Orangemen.
Yer, still found it funny. Guess I am not as enlightened as I thought. Or maybe punishing ppl by depositing one's bodily emissions with them appeals. (Memories of spitting in me mum's friends' prawn cocktails when I was a kid).
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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wesleyswig
Shipmate
# 5436
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Posted
Well I think that was very funny and honest. I was expecting the word to be p*ssing rather than weeing but there we go.
regards ever
John
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"I am still a Methodist, You can never get it's special glow out of your blood" Ellen Wilkinson
Read my ramblings
Posts: 878 | From: Chained to my desk.... | Registered: Jan 2004
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
I tried a few different millieus: the Revd Paisley and a group of nuns; the Holy Father and a group of Orangemen.
It also works in a completely un-religious setting - the first version I heard was with an Everton fan standing in the middle of Liverpool fans...
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Long-Johns Silver
Apprentice
# 1763
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Posted
quote:
I particularly like the moral ambiguity between whether the Rabbi is the hero who turns out to have got one over on his persecutors, or a complete bastard.
Interesting difference here... I found it funny because I had taken the rabbi's comment to be a quick thinking "gotcha" in response to his discovery. -one comment to turn the tables and have the last laugh - cos now they'll never know if he did or not.
But there you go - we are all different in which jokes work for us and why.... ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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"Smile", they said "it could be worse".
So I did...
And it was.
Posts: 49 | From: "The Church" - Church Inn that is :-) | Registered: Nov 2001
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stevesgiftshoppe
Apprentice
# 10169
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Posted
To "get it" requires that you "hear" it in the Yiddish accent by the Rabbi and think in Yiddish. There are three layers to this. The first is the apparent and direct. We see "spitting in shoes" but if you add the Yiddish accent, you hear "speaking insults" (same phonetics and syllables). Add the second part "pissing in cokes" is "being in close" (as in close quarters in the airplane). But the last layer is the Yiddish "Pis Koke" which means to spit in one's face.
Posts: 1 | From: Mentone | Registered: Aug 2005
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IdeasFactory
Apprentice
# 9905
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Posted
Billy Connolly told a variation on this joke that was longer (of course) and funnier, involving Rangers and Celtic fans.
A diminutive Celtic fan finds himself at the wrong end of the stadium as Rangers are winning. Gorilla-like Rangers fans demand that he go and get "a Bovril" (hot, beefy drink, once much loved at football matches, for our non-Brits). But to ensure he returns, the Rangers fans demand he leave his shoe. This happens twice, with the Rangers each time forcing him to replace the now excrement-filled shoe.
At the conclusion of the match our now-squelching and depressed Celtic fan is accosted by a BBC sports journalist who asks him about the inter-team rivallry and he declares:
"It's time for the vendetta to end. For too long, they have been sh*tting in our shoes and we have been p*ssing in their Bovril!!"
[appluse]
IF
Posts: 24 | Registered: Aug 2005
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