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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Lord's Prayer negotiation
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by Amorya (with variations by Zeke, Choirboy, KenWritez):
A marketing consultant hired at KFC got an audience with the Pope and offered him a million dollars if he would change the Lord's Prayer from "give us this day our daily bread," to "give us this day our daily chicken".
The Pope refused the offer.
Two weeks later the consultant offered 10 million, but the Pope refused again. Another week later the offer was increased to 20 million.
The Pope accepted.
The following day the Pope briefed his staff. "I have some good news and some bad news," he said. "The good news is that we have just received 20 million dollars. The bad news is that we've lost the Hovis* account."
* Hovis = British Bread Manufacturer.
[added hovis clarification]
[ 05. August 2005, 09:43: Message edited by: Simon ]
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
...modified from the Vicar of Dibley version, but still damn good.
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If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Brilliant ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
I think it's the implication that anything has a price that I like best about this one. And given the whole Papal Indulgences thing of past times, it's not completely impossible, either ![[Biased]](wink.gif) ...
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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HoosierNan
Shipmate
# 91
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Posted
Hovis? Is that a commercial bakery?
Posts: 795 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Hovis = British Bread Manufacturer.
Pyx_e
[ 03. August 2005, 15:57: Message edited by: Pyx_e ]
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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TheLearner
Apprentice
# 9740
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Posted
I'm impressed. I did not expect that ending (no that I am all that sharp, but still . . .). I appreciate the fact that it is a gentle poke fun, without anything that makes me squirm, gag, or get pissed off.
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Pollack
"All Christians should be tools in the hand of God, but some are bigger tools than others." -Anonymous (Hope I didn't see this one on SoF)
Posts: 21 | From: Siloam Springs, AR, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
The only problem with the joke now is that when you have to explain to non-UK people what "Hovis" means, you've killed the joke.
Is there a bread product that is both in the US and UK? My version of the joke used Wonder Bread, the only one I could think of that might have a chance at cross-Pond familiarity since its such a cultural icon here.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
My version of the joke used Wonder Bread, the only one I could think of that might have a chance at cross-Pond familiarity since its such a cultural icon here.
At least Wonder Bread has bread in the title - unlike Hovis, which could be anything.
I thought this was one of the better ones, and not offensive to me at all. Tickles the sense of the ridiculous rather than attacking catholicism (imo).
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
I found this one to be totally inoffensive, and all too true. In fact, from my many years in RC management, I know that, next month, the KFC representative will be receiving a letter requesting another 20 million.
This one is silly (give us this day our daily chicken...) without being 'schoolyard smut' like the 'coming' jokes.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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