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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » The Laugh Judgment   » The two righteous parrots

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Source: (consider it) Thread: The two righteous parrots
Simon

Editor
# 1

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Joke submitted by James Fitzpatrick (with a variation by David Goode):

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers. Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed; then he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put themin the cage with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded. "This may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"

[ 05. August 2005, 09:42: Message edited by: Simon ]

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Phred22
Apprentice
# 3857

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This joke makes the point that, when someone says their prayers have been answered, you might want to ask, "What prayers?"

When driving, I've been tempted to ask the Lord to guide speeders and tailgaters into the ditch. I just hope the Lord doesn't hold it against me.

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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238

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An ooooooooold joke, but still darn funny. It takes the concept of prayer and takes it not only to a logical conclusion, but also turns it on its back. (An appropriate metaphor given what the two female parrots said, eh? [Killing me] )

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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Ok I heard a version of this in which the profane parrot (there was only one of each) said, "Baby, let's fuck!
Pious parrot said "Let us pray,"

So when they get together, Pious Parrot says, "Let us pray," Profane Parrot says, "Baby, let's fuck!" and Pious Parrot says "Praise the Lord! My prayers have been answered!"

The script for Profane Parrot in the one submitted seems a bit wordy. IMHO it has more punch in the blunter version.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
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Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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This joke is one of the best so far, and I had not heard it before...

It makes the point that prayers can be selfish and worldly.

They are not all ineffable and holy.

So, ok, the theological point is not exactly profound, but it's still pretty funny.

[ 04. August 2005, 21:30: Message edited by: Papio. ]

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