Thread: FUCK YOU, CANCER Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=022039
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
It’s not enough to attack her once. Oh no. You deceitful bastard. You wait until she’s come through the chemo and turned the corner toward survivorship and then you sneak up and attack her again, just when she’s beginning to feel human once more. Even that’s not enough for you, you greedy motherfucker. No: you slither off and lie in wait, while she has half her internal organs removed and goes through another chemo wash and begins to feel human AGAIN and is given a clean bill of health and then WHAM! You come back at her while she’s still trying to get her strength back and hit her yet AGAIN. How much of this is she supposed to TAKE? If you’re going to kill her anyway, can’t you at least stop playing cat-and-mouse with her, and let her plan what she needs to plan and let her have some peace and goddammnit, some dignity? FUCK YOU.
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
:
Someone very close to me suffered through a long and painful illness that lasted for almost two decades. Not cancer, but nasty as all fucking hell just the same.
So maybe I know where you're coming from here. I never lashed out at the illness itself, but yeah, I lashed out at something, that's for sure. Fucking warped cosmic lottery, probably.
So yeah. Fuck You Cancer.
Posted by comet (# 10353) on
:
this could really be one of those eternal hell threads.
I'm with ya, Apocalypso.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
I'm with you, too. Lost someone, long ago.
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
Someone very close to me suffered through a long and painful illness that lasted for almost two decades. Not cancer, but nasty as all fucking hell just the same.
So maybe I know where you're coming from here. I never lashed out at the illness itself, but yeah, I lashed out at something, that's for sure. Fucking warped cosmic lottery, probably.
So yeah. Fuck You Cancer.
Two DECADES? Oh, then I am a naif stray wandered into this vale. I've only (or really, SHE's only -- she does all the suffering, I merely watch) been here for, what is it now? Five years.
Posted by goperryrevs (# 13504) on
:
quote:
Fuck you cancer
Amen.
I wish my dad was still here.
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
:
On behalf of my mother's dearest friend, Amen.
Posted by no_prophet (# 15560) on
:
On behalf of a friend who told me 2 days ago that she has advanced ductal breast cancer and is getting the surgery next week, followed by chemo and radiation.
On behalf of my best friend who died 13 months ago of colon cancer.
On behalf of my mother who died 16 months ago of brain cancer.
On behalf of my mother in law who died 3 years and 2 months ago of colon cancer.
And on behalf of my best friend who died 23 years ago this month of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. On behalf of my grandmother who died 44 years ago of stomach cancer and both of my grandfathers who died within days of each other 51 years ago of bladder cancer and lung cancer.
It's all awful. I find myself very very tired of this disease. Though I thank God for their lives and that I was able to be part of them. I miss the ones from 44 and 23 years ago every bit as much as the recent ones. Which is bad crap. Brings tears to my eyes just writing this. ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
Posted by Amazing Grace (# 95) on
:
Right fuckin' on. *raises both middle fingers*
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
The sooner a cure is found, the better. That can't come too soon.
Posted by TubaMirum (# 8282) on
:
God.
Yes. Fuck cancer, and all the rest of them, too.
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
:
Yup, my brother the same. Too many people, far too young.
Posted by shamwari (# 15556) on
:
Swearing at the disease is one thing and a perfectly legit response.
But how do we cope?
My best friend is having treatment for it.
he is not swearing at it. he is living with it and the chemo seems to be working.
There is no bitterness. An acceptance that "shit happens" and a determination to work within it.
Brilliant by him
Posted by jlg (# 98) on
:
Fuck the stupid rules that restrict the morphine during the final days, weeks, months of prolonged cancer "because the patient might become addicted".
Posted by The Silent Acolyte (# 1158) on
:
Or, might use it to slip the bonds of earth.
Fuck the rules, that is.
[ 04. February 2011, 22:44: Message edited by: The Silent Acolyte ]
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Fuck the stupid rules that restrict the morphine during the final days, weeks, months of prolonged cancer "because the patient might become addicted".
Don't you just want to slap them when they say that? (Or hit 'em with a shovel.)
We have a good friend who went through a two year ordeal with stomach cancer-- the misery of feeding tubes added to the misery of chemo and radiation. Just when he was getting his strength back it returned and his doctor told him he needed to get his affairs in order because he only has a few months. He didn't ask his doctor to be straight with him or anything, the doc just took it on himself to volunteer the information.
One of the worst, saddest things, to me, about all this is that this big, macho farmer who always kept us in stitches with his fantastic sense of humor, has been so beaten down by this cruel disease that he now can't chat for five minutes without starting to cry about something. It's as though the disease has peeled away every defense and all his emotions are raw and just below the surface.
If anything is "from the devil," it's this.
Posted by Nicolemrw (# 28) on
:
My mother lost 1/3 of her tongue to oral cancer. Now she chokes when she eats, and she talks so badly sometimes even I can't understand her.
And it may still kill her. It's under control, not cured.
Fuck this disease.
Posted by dj_ordinaire (# 4643) on
:
Nothing to say.
Except I miss my mum. And I know my grandmother misses both of her daughters.
Fuck it.
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on
:
Not much I can say either except "fuck it" on behalf of my brother-in-law who died two years ago next week, and the many friends and acquaintances who have succumbed before and since.
May they all rest in peace.
Posted by Niteowl2 (# 15841) on
:
Absolutely Fuck Cancer! I've had too many friends and family die from this disease and hate it with a passion. I've been fortunate to have friends and family live after battling with surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. as well. There are no guarantees yet, though, which is why I do distributed computing to help find a cure. See my sig
Posted by Tea gnome (# 9424) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Fuck the stupid rules that restrict the morphine during the final days, weeks, months of prolonged cancer "because the patient might become addicted".
WTF? I'm really sad to hear that this is the case in the US, it's not here IME and I think of this as a very dated attitude. Sorry, am posting on phone, so can't go into much depth, but we make symptom management a priority for the dying patient. It can take a while to find a good balance. Would be happy to talk more about this later although there's another shipmate who knows more than me. Look at the Liverpool care pathway - might be interesting to you.
Tg
Posted by multipara (# 2918) on
:
Likewise here in Oz; I'd hate to think that palliative care in the US was still mired in Noah's flood.
Around here, that sort of attitude went out the window 30 years ago.
I might add without wishing to derail the thread that the neuro-degenerative diseases (such as motor neurone disease, advanced MS etc) and end stage respiratory disease ( such as emphysema, cystic fibrosis) can in many instances leave death by advanced cancer for gasping in the horrid stakes.
Just my 2 bob's worth.
m
m
Posted by jlg (# 98) on
:
True, multipara. Cancer isn't the only nasty way to go.
Just to clarify: Yes, one can find palliative care in the US, usually through some sort of hospice-care program. The problem is that a lot of hospitals haven't quite caught up and still have the stupid old rules in place.
So the doctors and nurses all know it's cruel and stupid, but 'hospital policy' ties their hands.
My father-in-law died of pancreatic cancer (which had spread into his spine by the end). He was all set up for home hospice-care at home (his wife was an RN). All the supplies (including plenty of morphine) were there.
Then one day there was some sort of problem (I no longer remember the details), the EMTs were called to help and he ended up being taken to the hospital. He never managed to get well enough to be released back to hospice care, and spent six miserable months in the hospital, slowly dying with inadequate pain control.
Posted by Niteowl2 (# 15841) on
:
Personally, I think anyone with an excruciatingly painful terminal disease should be able to have any drug they desire from morphine to heroin if they so choose and marijuana for any nausea if the regular nausea drugs don't work. Our "morality laws" have become immoral.
Posted by Moo (# 107) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Just to clarify: Yes, one can find palliative care in the US, usually through some sort of hospice-care program. The problem is that a lot of hospitals haven't quite caught up and still have the stupid old rules in place.able months in the hospital, slowly dying with inadequate pain control.
Hospitals and doctors are frequently wary because they are afraid drug law enforcers will swoop down on them and demand that they justify their drug prescribing.
Moo
Posted by Think² (# 1984) on
:
How about we fuck mortality ? After all is there any common way of dying that's kind ?
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on
:
How very caring.
Who peed in your Wheaties?
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
W
L
B
M
K
Sometimes all we can do is light candles in Hell.
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Think²:
How about we fuck mortality ? After all is there any common way of dying that's kind ?
Plenty. Massive stroke, massive heart attack, sudden serious accidents. There are lots of ways of dying where the conscious awareness of the pain lasts but a few minutes.
Posted by Panda (# 2951) on
:
On behlf of my father, who started out with a supposedly treatable bladder cancer, which suddenly turned out to be a terminal brain cancer. By the time we knew, the brain swelling caused by the seizures meant that no other treatment was possible and he died two weeks later, last Tuesday.
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
:
I'm so sorry.
Posted by TubaMirum (# 8282) on
:
Condolences, Panda. Light perpetual shine upon him.
Posted by Think² (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
quote:
Originally posted by Think²:
How about we fuck mortality ? After all is there any common way of dying that's kind ?
Plenty. Massive stroke, massive heart attack, sudden serious accidents. There are lots of ways of dying where the conscious awareness of the pain lasts but a few minutes.
Losing someone so suddenly can be devastating for those left behind. And can leave you little chance to make your piece with it.
Mortality is painful.
Posted by The Silent Acolyte (# 1158) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
...doctors are frequently wary because they are afraid drug law enforcers will swoop down on them and demand that they justify their drug prescribing.
Which is why I have to get down on my hands and knees and beg for codeine cough syrup, even though it is the only thing that works for me with my worst winter coughs. Which is why I keep a drug museum with my 5% consumed prescriptions for Percocet, Vicodin, and Toradol for when the kidney stones kick me in the gut.
I realize mine is a TICTH tangent from the main theme, but FUCK THE DRUG LAWS.
[ 05. February 2011, 19:05: Message edited by: The Silent Acolyte ]
Posted by multipara (# 2918) on
:
*tangent alert*
To follow on from Moo's post and that from previous US posters:
Not in the hospital setting we don't. Whatever "policy" regarding the proper use of narcotics/sedatives in palliative care ( or for that matter in the ICU, or in providing pain relief in the acute setting such as post op care) is not in the hands of ( non-medical) administrators. Drug committees decide the protocols ( input from pharmacists, pharmacologists and medicos)
In general practice there is a high likelihood of the practitioner being investigated for inappropriate prescribing of narcotics, because it is in the community that one sees drug-seeking behaviour.
Now back to the OP...
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Think²:
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
quote:
Originally posted by Think²:
How about we fuck mortality ? After all is there any common way of dying that's kind ?
Plenty. Massive stroke, massive heart attack, sudden serious accidents. There are lots of ways of dying where the conscious awareness of the pain lasts but a few minutes.
Losing someone so suddenly can be devastating for those left behind. And can leave you little chance to make your piece with it.
Mortality is painful.
My mother died of a sudden massive stroke. Having fun on vacation one day, coma the next, died a week later. Would I have liked to say good bye and apologize for about a hundred things? Yes. Would I trade with my best friend who nursed her mother through a year of painful ovarian cancer? No way. I'll just live with my guilt, thank you -- and thank God for my mother's quick merciful death.
Posted by Darllenwr (# 14520) on
:
Both parents (in the last 4 years), both In-laws, grandmother (a week after my mother) - I'm not a fan of cancer. (I'm not exactly keen on MS, either, but that's another story).
[ 05. February 2011, 20:24: Message edited by: Darllenwr ]
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Apocalypso:
It’s not enough to attack her once. Oh no. You deceitful bastard. You wait until she’s come through the chemo and turned the corner toward survivorship and then you sneak up and attack her again, just when she’s beginning to feel human once more. Even that’s not enough for you, you greedy motherfucker. No: you slither off and lie in wait, while she has half her internal organs removed and goes through another chemo wash and begins to feel human AGAIN and is given a clean bill of health and then WHAM! You come back at her while she’s still trying to get her strength back and hit her yet AGAIN. How much of this is she supposed to TAKE? If you’re going to kill her anyway, can’t you at least stop playing cat-and-mouse with her, and let her plan what she needs to plan and let her have some peace and goddammnit, some dignity? FUCK YOU.
My job for the last 16 years has involved spiritual care of people with cancer - also of their families and friends, and the professionals and volunteers who look after them. I've walked with people as they go through treatment, sometimes as they thrive afterwards, sometimes as they live with the threat of a condition that will come back, and back, and back. Years ago I lost count of the people I walked with to the point of their death.
And I am completely, utterly, with Apocalypso on this one.
Posted by kentishmaid (# 4767) on
:
Agree wholeheartedly. My Mum died of cancer of the oesophagus and it's still one of the least curable and virulent kinds. Bloody awful.
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
:
I'm so sorry Kentishmaid. That's actually what my friend I mentioned has. I only called it stomach cancer because I couldn't spell oesophagus. It truly is terrible.
I keep thinking about Nicole's mom. How terribly sad and awful for her.
Multipara mentioned emphysema. Fear of that one is what motivated me to quit smoking. As horrible as severe pain is, nothing concentrates the mind like not being able to breathe. It deserves a few curse words, too.
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Posted by Geneviève (# 9098) on
:
Fuck the doctor, new on rotation i think, who some years ago delivered the blunt message to a friend in the hospital with acute leukemia--came out of nowhere and he died in a few months--"We can't do anything more for you so you might as well go home."
I got there with a mutual friend about an hour later. We were sitting with the friend with terminal diagnosis trying to be of comfort. He's trying to somehow take this all in.
Perky, smart ass, asshole, arrogant shit doc comes back in and says (standing in the doorway),
"Well, are we feeling more cheery now?"
I swear this is true. I almost smacked her.
Then when I went to the hospital "patient advocate" (or whatever the title was) to complain, I was told that only the patient could make a complaint....patient is trying to deal with dying..duh.
Oh, and then he's in that same hospital's inpatient hospice ward. Until his wife happened to be there and forcibly put a stop to the process, people were coming in and drawing blood and doing little procedures for "research."
Fuck that hospital. A denominational one by the way.
Ack, the way he was treated has never left me.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
I think the problem with some medical staff may be that they see so much of seriously ill patients that they become desensitized. They forget that although they've seen patients with this particular condition numerous times, your relative (or you) may be experiencing this for the first time. The long working hours and pressure can't help, either.
Then again, some medical staff can be just plain insensitive.
Posted by Moo (# 107) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I think the problem with some medical staff may be that they see so much of seriously ill patients that they become desensitized. They forget that although they've seen patients with this particular condition numerous times, your relative (or you) may be experiencing this for the first time. The long working hours and pressure can't help, either.
Then again, some medical staff can be just plain insensitive.
I think this is a huge problem. Doctors need to protect themselves from all the tragedy they see. Some of them do it by becoming completely insensitive.
I think the best are the ones who have had experience with serious illness and can understand the feelings of their patients.
Moo
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on
:
And yet doctors and nurses who are more subtle than Kevorkian help people die as peacefully as possible all the time. Because not helping can easily mean a long half existence in a coma.
When my father died he was told that he could be given assistance with breathing, or he could choose to discontinue Oxygen and die quickly. He chose, having all his faculties intact, to have Oxygen discontinued. He kept on a nasal tube (just air) to hold down on the discomfort.
Only, it didn't happen as quickly as he thought it would. His body had gotten used to low levels of Oxygen and he kept on breathing ineffectively, while his body worked overtime to try and take in enough Oxygen to stay alive. I think the worst part of it for him was he had time to be afraid of dying.
I had a long talk with the medical staff and was told that he would probably slip into the coma he had tried to avoid and that his death would take weeks.
My father and I talked about it. He chose to have his nasal tube taken away and to have a large dose of Morpheme to deal with the pain. The nurses couldn't turn off the air, so I had to. My father died within about ten minutes. The longest ten minutes of my life.
It wasn't really the lack of air that killed him. It was the Morpheme.
That is the way it usually happens. Morpheme is given to deal with the pain of cutting off air and the Morpheme deals with the pain (something they can legitimately do) and ends up relaxing enough heart and lung muscles to induce death.
I struggled for a long time with the notion that I had killed my father. The thought of it still tears me up inside. And yet, I know that I gave him a gift of dignity and no longer having to be afraid.
Death, and the process of dying are always a part of life. It is a defining piece of being alive.
Smart ass comments about death are simply rude and insensitive.
Posted by LutheranChik (# 9826) on
:
I was recently with a friend of ours when she died of cancer. God bless the hospice nurses who helped her partner open the special box of meds they save for the final hours and administered what she needed to have the pain and the panic from her losing her breath taken away. (A few days before she had asked her partner, "How will I know that I'm not breathing anymore?" She was very afraid of this.)
I hate cancer. It's one of those things that can make me question the existence of a good God.
Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
My job for the last 16 years has involved spiritual care of people with cancer - also of their families and friends, and the professionals and volunteers who look after them. I've walked with people as they go through treatment, sometimes as they thrive afterwards, sometimes as they live with the threat of a condition that will come back, and back, and back. Years ago I lost count of the people I walked with to the point of their death.
And I am completely, utterly, with Apocalypso on this one.
Yes. Yes. Yes, Adeodatus. I too am with Apocalypso all the way.
Having been treated (chemo, radiation, surgery) for one cancer through 2010, I was pronounced clear on Dec 16. On Dec 17 I was told "we don't like the blood tests taken yesterday - come in for more scans". So now I have a new, more intensive, chemo regime which may lead to more surgery. So, FU cancer indeed.
BUT, I have received nothing but professional, sympathetic care and counselling. While there's absolutely no excuse for "feeling more cheery now, are we?", IMNSHO even saying "FU, unfeeling doctor" isn't on. Still less lashing out physically. There just has to be a distance from the personal traumas of the patients and their friends/families and the staff tending them. Rapid burn-out results if staff become "involved" (applies clergy/parishers, too, IME).
It could well be that my experience will be different as I progress 'down the vale' (thanks OP).
A different thought. Don't we pray for "time for amendment of life and the grace and comfort of thy Holy Spirit"? If that's really our desire why is a sudden death more merciful (upthread comments)?
[Apologies if I've strayed from Hell - my first post here].
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
I also agree completely with Apocalypso. A big fuck you.
What makes it worse, is the feeling of powerlessness. Even if you live healthily, don't smoke, eat good foods... Then it can still fuck you in the ass when you least expect it. It happened last week with someone I know.
I hope that one day they'll beat this sucker once and for all.
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Morlader:
A different thought. Don't we pray for "time for amendment of life and the grace and comfort of thy Holy Spirit"? If that's really our desire why is a sudden death more merciful (upthread comments)?
I'm not aware of ever having prayed that. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of intending to sort things out later rather than trying to live my faith right now. I also find the idea of receiving notice of the end of my life and then feeling that I have to sort everything out with God and others frankly terrifying, and quite contrary to accepting the grace of God.
Other people are different, but for me that's a nightmare.
Posted by Arrietty (# 45) on
:
I have always assumed that God can find time ('kairos') to extend the opportunity for grace to us even in the shortest amount of time as measured by the clock ('chronos').
So I would see that prayer as asking him to do that, rather than asking him to give us sufficient notice before we die.
Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
I'm not aware of ever having prayed that. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of intending to sort things out later rather than trying to live my faith right now. I also find the idea of receiving notice of the end of my life and then feeling that I have to sort everything out with God and others frankly terrifying, and quite contrary to accepting the grace of God.
Other people are different, but for me that's a nightmare.
The prayer extract is from BCP Compline.
Yes, "live each day as if 'twere thy last" is an excellent rule. But if you are 'given notice' are there no things in your life you can -should- straighten out?
Anyway, sorry for starting (or actually continuing) a tangent about drawn out v sudden death. Cancer isn't sudden.
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I also agree completely with Apocalypso. A big fuck you.
What makes it worse, is the feeling of powerlessness. Even if you live healthily, don't smoke, eat good foods... Then it can still fuck you in the ass when you least expect it. It happened last week with someone I know.
I hope that one day they'll beat this sucker once and for all.
That's just it. This woman, a good friend, has done Everything Right -- exercise, healthy lifestyle, a few years my senior but looks a decade younger, etc. etc. A good, kind, funny, generous, intelligent, loving soul.
And there is. Nothing. Any. Of. Us. Can. Do.
Posted by Earwig (# 12057) on
:
Yup. Today brings one colleague's funeral, and diagnosis of another's breast cancer.
Fuck you cancer, and fuck you 2011. You are pretty shit so far.
Posted by kentishmaid (# 4767) on
:
Yup, Apocalypso. My Mum ate healthily, walked most places, didn't smoke, barely drank etc etc. And yet there are people who've smoked 40 a day (for example) who live well into their 80s. It just doesn't seem fair.
Posted by Trudy Scrumptious (# 5647) on
:
On behalf of the friend I went to visit this past weekend, who is in the last stages of dying with cancer now that his liver is shutting down -- we had a wonderful weekend together and then I completely broke down crying saying goodbye, realizing it would be the last goodbye -- I would like to join in saying a hearty FUCK YOU, CANCER.
(And having had another friend drop dead of a completely unexpected massive heart attack a couple of months ago, I do agree, there are different kinds of pain for the survivors associated with losing someone slowly and losing someone suddenly. I appreciate having the time to say goodbye to the friend with cancer, and regret not having told the friend who died with the heart attack how much I appreciated him -- but I do think cancer, with its often slow and painful progress, offers a special kind of hell).
Posted by Ye Olde Motherboarde (# 54) on
:
I HATE YOU CANCER for taking
my grandfather,
then my grandmother,
then my friends Darlene and Bonnie,
and then Dear Molly here on the ship.
Posted by Lady A (# 3126) on
:
I despise the cancer that took my sister-in-law and destroyed her family for years. The cancer that took my stepfather and has left my wonderful mom alone for the rest of her life curled up crying in the loneliness of the night. The cancer that wrung the life from my mother-in-law and left my father-in-law in a big house all alone. Whatever hell is, I'm sure cancer is there.
Posted by comet (# 10353) on
:
feeling a little blue over this tonight. might as well join in.
FUCK YOU CANCER for stealing my sister. and my nephew. and my cousin. and my friend. and trying to take another. I can't fucking stand it any more.
Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on
:
My dad died of bowel cancer (and complications) in November aged 82.
He was prepared to go. Said he had had enough.
We had plenty of time to prepare ourselves mentally.
I took him to hospital on Saturday because he was having trouble breathing.
Had electric shock treatment to stabilize his heart on Monday.
Doctor told us the procedure went well and his heart had returned to a steady pace.
He woke up early Tuesday morning and asked the nurse to remove his oxygen mask.
He died shortly after that.
It's not so much fuck you cancer in my case......but gosh death is odd........
I thought I was prepared for the loss.
I wasn't. I'm not.
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on
:
Nobody ever is.
Death is an awesome and overwhelming thing. We have no understanding of it, what actually happens to us; to whatever makes us, "us." And yet, we all die.
Yorick asked whether or not the fear of death is a driving force for Christianity (and, I suppose, religion in general.) My answer is probably not as we never actually think about death until it is shoved in our faces by the death of a loved one.
Evensong, the pain will never go away entirely, but I pray that eventually you will be able to celebrate the love and life of your father more than mourn his loss.
Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on
:
Nicely said Tortuf. Nicely said. All of it.
And thanks.
Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Yorick asked whether or not the fear of death is a driving force for Christianity (and, I suppose, religion in general.) My answer is probably not as we never actually think about death until it is shoved in our faces by the death of a loved one.
I seriously doubt that. Yes, bereavement brings death into such sharp focus we’re forced to see it, but although otherwise we may turn our eyes away, we still know it’s there, waiting for us just round the corner, as sure as sure can be.
(Did you feel that little twist in your gut?)
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Yorick asked whether or not the fear of death is a driving force for Christianity (and, I suppose, religion in general.) My answer is probably not as we never actually think about death until it is shoved in our faces by the death of a loved one.
Well, not entirely true. You might have to confront your own mortality at some point – even if it’s only narrowly escaping being knocked down by a car at a zebra crossing, or a milestone birthday, or something. There are more triggers for this than you think, and they don’t all involve health problems.
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
:
I don't fear death itself, but I do worry about the pain and suffering before death - cancer is nasty like that because it is rarely or never an easy death.
Posted by Fineline (# 12143) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
You might have to confront your own mortality at some point – even if it’s only narrowly escaping being knocked down by a car at a zebra crossing, or a milestone birthday, or something. There are more triggers for this than you think, and they don’t all involve health problems.
I agree. I first became aware of my own mortality at 16 years old, when visiting the catacombs in Paris - seeing all those skeletons made it very concretely obvious to me that this is how we all end up.
I have also become very aware of my own mortality in a different way from working in care homes for elderly people - this makes me aware of what dying is like when people are still alive. The whole decaying process, and the various things that can go wrong with the body and mind.
When loved ones die, this doesn't make me think about my own mortality, but it makes me think about the person who died and how I don't want them to be dead, and about family and friends in general. It's a different sort of experience.
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
(Did you feel that little twist in your gut?)
Nope
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
(Did you feel that little twist in your gut?)
I think you must be (relatively) young yet. Not at that age where Death more or less introduces himself - even takes a practice swipe at you (yes, cancer in my case). I not only know I will die, but have a fair idea when and of what. Not that it's caused me to change my religious views a whit.
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
:
It seems to me that this thread is to FUCK CANCER
Surely discussions of mortality could belong elsewhere? Like not in Hell?
As it is, I am sorely tempted to move this thread to All Saints.
PeteC
Hell Host
Posted by Janine (# 3337) on
:
Pleeeeze change the title if you do.
Posted by multipara (# 2918) on
:
Prolly wouldn't make a whole heap of difference if the title were changed; the sentiments remain.
Come to think of it, someone could start a whole new "fuck you- motor neurone disease/multiple sclerosis/end-stage emphysema" thread but some how I doubt it would carry the same punch as an extended rant against what they call in the US "the big C".
Just my 2 bob's worth,
m
Posted by comet (# 10353) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by multipara:
Come to think of it, someone could start a whole new "fuck you- motor neurone disease/multiple sclerosis/end-stage emphysema" thread
I did once. Now I just throw tantrums, stomp my feet and scream. when that passes and I realize that it didn't do any good, I move on.
that came out wrong - I dont mean that venting about cancer or any other thing isn't valuable. I guess - at some point you have to blow past that part or it eats you up inside.
Posted by Nicolemrw (# 28) on
:
I was actually thinking of starting a "Fuck you, Alzheimer's and other dementias" thread, but I guess I won't.
Posted by multipara (# 2918) on
:
Comet,
amen to that.
One of my dearest mates from med school is in the throes of motor neurone disease ( and it is taking its time) and if all she can say is "oh bugger" who am I to argue....
m
Posted by LutheranChik (# 9826) on
:
Over the last week I found out that two of my high school classmates (we've reconnected through Facebook) have been diagnosed with cancer --at least one a very aggressive cancer.
Meanwhile, an online friend of mine who beat melanoma once, then had it reoccur and metastasize -- someone who has been through the most dangerous and debilitating chemo -- got the bad news this week that the cancer has likely spread to her brain.
FUCK CANCER indeed. I am so sad right now.
Posted by St.Silas the carter (# 12867) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by LutheranChik:
I hate cancer. It's one of those things that can make me question the existence of a good God.
Me too.Loosing my dad last summer from it and seeing two good friends get it, one terminal almost did it for me until two months ago.
I try not to think about it but sometimes I think it's certain that I'll die from it too. Every single person in my family that has died since the 50's, died from cancer. It really scares my mother, but there's nothing we can do about it. You can live a 'healthy' life with healthy foods and exercise like my grandmother and still die from it. You can be a holy, virtuous man like my friend from seminary and still get it.
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH . . .
I wish I knew how to do this. I don't know how to do this. Making plans for August, when she has a family shindig in Germany, and we all keep talking about getting her well enough to go, and we all also know she won't be going.
How do we live in this moment, when we have to count every one?
I HATE THIS. FUCK YOU, CANCER.
Posted by Think² (# 1984) on
:
Any chance of moving the shindig forward / getting relatives over to her instead of her over to relatives ?
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
No. A much smaller, much quieter version of the shindig already took place here. The sheer numbers involved mean the German-branch shindig has to take place there, and some folks central to the shindig can't do it until August.
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
:
Apocalypso, I know nothing about your situation except what you've posted here, so what I'm about to say may be completely off-target. Sorry if it is.
Sometimes - sometimes - I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve. Often it's something like a family wedding, the birth of a grandchild, something like that. I knew one magnificently stubborn man who was determined to see his self-designed conservatory built - and did!
So if there is the slightest, slightest hope that she might get to the August shindig - keep hoping. Even when cancer kills, sometimes the human spirit wins.
Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve.
That would be a lovely sentiment if it wasn’t wrong (and therefore arguably dangerous).
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
Apocalypso, I know nothing about your situation except what you've posted here, so what I'm about to say may be completely off-target. Sorry if it is.
Sometimes - sometimes - I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve. Often it's something like a family wedding, the birth of a grandchild, something like that. I knew one magnificently stubborn man who was determined to see his self-designed conservatory built - and did!
So if there is the slightest, slightest hope that she might get to the August shindig - keep hoping. Even when cancer kills, sometimes the human spirit wins.
Thank you, Adeodatus.
I am so sick at heart, and I really do not know how to be with her right now, and every time I visit, I come home and and gnash my teeth, because it feels like we're all lying -- to her, to each other, and to ourselves.
Your words put our hopes, however false or flimsy they may be, in a different light: there's nothing wrong with a little hope.
Thank you for your response. It may not do her any good, but I sure needed it.
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
:
Someone pissed in Yorkie's kibble again.
Posted by Apocalypso (# 15405) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve.
That would be a lovely sentiment if it wasn’t wrong (and therefore arguably dangerous).
Yorick, she is getting treatment -- the best available for a very rare form of cancer. God, has she been getting treatment. Multiple surgeries. Multiple bouts of chemo.
But there's this from your link:
quote:
"Our findings do not mean that having a positive mental attitude isn't a good thing generally. People with a positive mental outlook are more likely to comply with their treatment, suffer less anxiety and depression, and have a better quality of life – they just won't live longer."
And I am grateful to you and the doc who wrote it for that little snippet.
[ 07. March 2011, 13:38: Message edited by: Apocalypso ]
Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Someone pissed in Yorkie's kibble again.
Not at all; I'm in fine mood. (But thanks for your interest).
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
:
Apologies for the following, replying to Yorick, which might be too Purgatorial for this neighbourhood.
I’m familiar with that paper by Petticrew et al., Yorick. In fact it paralleled some very small scale work I was doing at the time. Which is why I've just been able to unearth my copy from the archaeologist’s paradise that is my desk.
First, it should be noted that Petticrew's inclusion criteria were pretty narrowly drawn, and that although a number of coping strategies were mentioned, the study focussed on the dichotomy between "fighting spirit" on the one hand and "helplessness/hopelessness" on the other. "Active or problem-focused coping" – the nearest they get to goal-orientation – is mentioned, but isn't given much attention in the paper or in the reporting of it. There are some other methodological problems with the study, primarily from my point of view that it fails to discriminate between patients' different experiences of cancer, its treatment, or of their other sources of support and help.
But rather than reading newspaper articles, look at what the paper itself says:
quote:
Good evidence in this subject is still scarce as there have been few large methodologically sound studies. Although the relation is biologically plausible, there is at present little scientific basis for the popular lay and clinical belief that psychological coping styles have an important influence on overall or event-free survival in patients with cancer.
That's academic-speak for "we didn’t find much, and the jury’s still out". Difficult to see how you get from that to the newspaper headlines.
Finally, Petticrew et al. attracted some criticism at the time, which makes interesting reading. Unfortunately, my own studies changed direction a bit in the early noughties, and I’m not sure what developments there have been since. But I doubt if that 2002 paper was the last word on the subject. Certainly the concepts involved relate to studies of the placebo/nocebo effects, which have had a lot of attention lately.
And when all's said and done, I did (rather pointedly) say "sometimes".
Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on
:
You said very clearly that you’ve known people to survive cancer against outrageous odds ‘because’ they had a ‘goal’. This is a massive claim, and I can imagine scenarios where it might cause harm for people to hear it. Indeed, like you, I also have anecdotes, including personal knowledge of people who have believed your sort of claim and suffered and even died prematurely as a terrible consequence.
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
:
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
I suppose it was too much for me to expect "Oh shit, I've bumped into somebody who knows what he's talking about."
Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on
:
Exactly. You should know better.
Posted by Beautiful Dreamer (# 10880) on
:
Cancer has got to be one of the most horrible things ever created. I don't know who hated humanity enough to subject people to it, but it's terrible...my mom had it, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Not very Hellish of me, but Apocalypso.
Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on
:
Normally I want to poke people with a stick when they resurrect languishing threads, but never does a day go by when I don't want to say a grand Fuck You to Cancer. So, for once, thank you, Dutiful Beamer, and Cancer, Fuck You!
Posted by Taliesin (# 14017) on
:
Yes. with a 6 foot pole.
And, I'm starting a purg thread on 'positive thinking.' (and, 'don't blame the patient.')
Posted by nickel (# 8363) on
:
Not only does cancer take our fathers, mothers, extended family, friends, colleagues, etc -- it takes our pets. No, it's not the same as losing a human contact, but it still hurts to look at my Lola, loping across the yard on three legs now, and knowing that this summer will be her last.
Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on
:
This might be a little close to thread necromancy, in which case I'm sorry.
But I'll add a fuck you cancer to all the rest. Fuck you for hanging about over my mum and all the rest of us like a big black hanging thing for 14 years, just waiting until there was a ray of sunshine so you could appear and crap all over our subdued optimism again.
I know statistically speaking she shouldn't still be here, not by a long shot. It's amazing how a woman can survive on pure rage alone isn't it? (And Yorick, I take your point about attitude and survival, I suspect you're probably right, but I'm not feeling particularly rational today).
But now you're gunning for her big time, aren't you? It looks like it's all going to go horribly wrong, very quickly and unpleasantly now.
And fuck you for coming for my Dad's wife. You know, he's the one with the huge history of depression. The one that's been saying for years that he isn't equipped to cope with this. Not that any of us are, really. Oh crap.
[ 28. April 2011, 08:43: Message edited by: Jemima the 9th ]
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
:
This thread will never die - unless cancer is cured. There is so much cancer in my life (let alone anyone else) that although it may be dormant, the rage is always seething up.
Rest easy.
Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on
:
Thank you.
Posted by Paddy O'Furniture (# 12953) on
:
Thanks so much, fucking cancer for taking my friend's mother and then giving her brother a diagnosis of cancer two weeks ago and then killing him last week. Awfully fucked-up of you, you lousy bastard. Oh, and thanks for killing another friend's father this week. Fucking fucked-up fucker!
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
:
Another checkmark on the cancer list coming through!
I think life was easier when we didn't understand the symptoms. But that's not helping anyone
Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on
:
Enough of it. All of you.
We are all going to die of something. The leading cause of death is life. You might as well say "fuck life."
My brother is still around today because an experimental MS treatment worked back in 1991. He can't work. His short term memory isn't mush--it is non-existent. He is angry at me all the time because I now control his money, but he is able to bounce checks by the 8th of the month when he gets his money on the 1st and 3rd.
My mom died last November after a year's worth of decline following a broken ankle. Being married for 59 years, my father about killed himself trying to make her happy by moving from St. Louis, MO, to Everett, WA. Now I have an 82 year old father with COPD that is trying to figure out what to do with his life in the Pacific Northwest without his wife.
My mom's sister had a serious stroke Thursday evening-Friday morning. They aren't sure when it happened, because they found her in bed on Friday. She's in Missouri Baptist Hospital, where my cousin is an OR nurse. The last I've heard is that she is in the intensive care unit and not responding to people. (May MoBaptist's hospice care be as wonderful as what my mother received from Providence here in Everett, should that be the outcome.)
I'm juggling everyone else's problems. Yea, and it was my mom who died last November. I'm still processing what I heard last summer from my radiologist: that all my doctors did not expect me to live when I had cancer back in 2003. At least I'm working.
I could say, fuck cancer. Fuck congestive heart failure. Fuck MS (for you too, Comet). Fuck strokes. But, why deny what is a part of my life?
Yes, I'm talking about denial here. I can not make cancer, coronary disease, MS, diabetes, COPD, and all the rest go away. I have to embrace it as a part of my life if I am going to live my life.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I am a cancer survivor. Like the rest of life, it isn't fun. Life isn't fun.
Life has joy. Life has pain. Life is. For all of us. We can choose to participate, or we can choose to go sulk in the corner.
I don't wish trial and travail in the transitory life on anyone. I don't need to, as it will happen to everyone one day.
All I can do is to suggest you hold my hand and I'll hold yours. We are going in, together. And there will be another Person with us in the furnace.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxl5xM0IpFg
Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on
:
And, shortly after writing that, I received a telephone call. My aunt died.
It really doesn't make any difference what it is. It is Death. And we are all going through it to come out the other side.
Posted by CuppaT (# 10523) on
:
God bless you, TBAS, for your posts. Cancer and such produces huge sadness in me and grief, but I am not much good with anger, never was. I don't know who or what to get angry at! But I am going through the sadness part with a dear friend now again. Pain is hard.
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on
:
quote:
I don't wish trial and travail in the transitory life on anyone. I don't need to, as it will happen to everyone one day.
Can I have your Kilt when you go?
All the best, Pyx_e.
Posted by The Bede's American Successor (# 5042) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
I don't wish trial and travail in the transitory life on anyone. I don't need to, as it will happen to everyone one day.
Can I have your Kilt when you go?
All the best, Pyx_e.
Is the level of dress among the Welsh becoming more civilized?
Posted by Josephine (# 3899) on
:
My former sister-in-law found out this morning that she has pancreatic cancer.
People with pancreatic cancer don't usually survive very long.
Bede, I appreciate all the wisdom you posted earlier on this thread. I thought about posting this over in all saints, in the prayer thread. But at the moment, I honestly feel more like swearing than praying.
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on
:
Swearing, praying, whatever -- hard to tell the difference sometimes.
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
On behalf of 3 new diagnoses (in 3 separate people), screw you cancer.
Posted by urbanbumpkin (# 13505) on
:
Fucj yiu cancer, for ruining the lives of two friends, and then, as if that wasn't nough, coming for my MIL when her sister in law is already dying from you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Posted by Paddy O'Furniture (# 12953) on
:
Ok, thanks a lot, Cancer! Now you've killed about seven of my friends and their family members in this past year alone! What the fuck is your problem, you hateful disease? Are you planning on killing everyone I love? Are you planning on killing me?!
My pastor says we aren't supposed to say "Goddamn" because then we are telling God to damn something. Yeah, well, in this case I think I'm perfectly justified.
GOD-DAMN YOU, CANCER!!!
Posted by Jenny Ann (# 3131) on
:
Fuck you, cancer
Posted by Telepath (# 3534) on
:
Fuck you, cancer, for decimating my friends and family and then commissioning a television commercial to jeer about how you're coming to get one in three of us and to rub my face in how awful it feels when the doctor tells you the news.[1] YEAH. WE KNOW.
[1] That's if you're lucky enough to get a doctor who actually tells you straight out instead of saying nothing or just letting it drop in a conversation about something else.
Posted by Jigsaw (# 11433) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Telepath:
Fuck you, cancer, for decimating my friends and family and then commissioning a television commercial to jeer about how you're coming to get one in three of us and to rub my face in how awful it feels when the doctor tells you the news.[1] YEAH. WE KNOW.
Think this is the ad Telepath refers to:
http://aboutus.cancerresearchuk.org/what-we-do/our-new-tv-campaign/
But cancer didn't commission the ad - Cancer Research UK did. And I don't think it was jeering. Whenever cancer charities run TV ads there's much criticism. They can hurt and upset.
I particularly say "Fuck you Breast Cancer Awareness Month" - known as "Pink October" to us cynics- with its relentless upbeat emphasis on silly pink stuff and fun walks in decorated bras (how crass is that?) and how we can be cured. Well, a lot of us won't be. It hurts me. But the evidence is that these ads work- in the sense that they raise money for research and practical help. People on here have had shit experiences with cancer. I know that. So have I.
I say "Fuck you, cancer" but I know that one in 5 of us will get it at some point and one in 3 of us will die either with or from it. I want the money to come in to prevent it, to detect it early,and to help us all through it.
[your code sucks donkey ass through a straw. get with the programme, for fuck's sake]
[ 01. August 2011, 09:56: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
Yep.
Posted by Barten (# 16651) on
:
For what ? damn it !
Spambot content removed. Commandment 9 violation. Poster flagged, PeteC
[ 15. September 2011, 06:54: Message edited by: PeteC ]
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
:
Not really a prayer for the dying ...
Clifford Olsen is dying of cancer.
And Hell is the only place for this personification of Evil.
Prayers for all his victims. He wasn't fussy who he killed.
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
:
The stepfather of one of my best friends is dying of cancer.Eight years ago he had a stroke, and that stopped him from his fine woodworking hobby. To console himself, he smoked. Now he has maybe until Christmas, if not before.
No-one has screamed at cancer here for some time. It will never win the war, though we might lose battles.
Posted by QuietMBR (# 8845) on
:
FUCK FUCK FUCK you cancer. I buried a friend you took this past Saturday, will bury another one you stole this coming Saturday, and one more is likely to pass this week. I'm fucking 47 years old and am not supposed to be burying three contemporaries in the span of a week or two.
Posted by lily pad (# 11456) on
:
Where are the screaming smilies when you need them?
This will have to do.
Posted by Niteowl2 (# 15841) on
:
A dear friend of mine buried her father last week, yet another victim of cancer. And my niece, who has already battled much in her young life is still fighting her battle.
Posted by South Coast Kevin (# 16130) on
:
Bump - argh!!!! *\@"*&=
Just found at that someone I know has been diagnosed with breast cancer, the docs think caught quite late. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
The lady is in her early forties and has young children. Any age is too young to get cancer, but this is way too young.
Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on
:
This isn't a rage or a scream, but I guess it's on topic.
Heard today my mate (early 40s, 3 kids) has 9 months to a year to live. Wants to meet old friends before brain tumour takes still more of his thought processes.
The feeling I now have that nothing is worth doing seems ironic, since the gift of (apparently) unlimited time in which to be depressed is exactly what he doesn't have.
Lord have mercy. Please move this if it belongs somewhere else.
Posted by Amazing Grace (# 95) on
:
Fuck you, cancer. Polly is one of the sweetest and hardest working people I know. Now she's in critical care with a feeding tube and fading fast.
Posted by Rossweisse (# 2349) on
:
I am trying to find a bright spot in cancer. I really can't manage it.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
:
Thought I had beaten breast cancer, but now it is apparently back again. I don't think I have the energy to fight it again. Cancer is c..p!
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
:
Posted by Amazing Grace (# 95) on
:
![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
Posted by Ferijen (# 4719) on
:
Fuck you cancer, cos I can't even get mad at my mother without thinking that she might not be here this time next year.
I feel bad about being bad.
(Yes, today, it really is All About Me).
Posted by Wilfried (# 12277) on
:
A couple of weeks ago, we buried (well, shelved the ashes of) a church friend who died of brain cancer. Last night, I found out that the father of a close friend was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. Mom and Dad had me over for Thanksgiving every, and I mean every, Thanksgiving since 1992. One cancer ends, and another begins. And I saw how unpleasantly the last one ended. Oy vey, how much brain cancer can there be in a month?
Posted by Wilfried (# 12277) on
:
Friend's Dad died Thursday night, funeral was yesterday.
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
:
What do you say to someone who is selling his gear off to people who he knows will be about to use it much longer than he will be?
AG
(rhetorical question, BTW)
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
What do you say to someone who is selling his gear off to people who he knows will be about to use it much longer than he will be?
AG
(rhetorical question, BTW)
Forgive my attempt to answer your rhetorical question, Sandemaniac. As always, I hesitate to plant my professional feet in a thread that's mostly about the heart, not the head. But there are things you can say to such a person. Some encouraging, but some cautionary. I've know people who've literally maxed-out the credit card "knowing" they'll soon be gone - only to find themselves still here when it comes to paying the bill.
But mostly, you're right. You say nothing. You stand in awe.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Oh, fuck you for taking Jim Stynes.
Posted by Matariki (# 14380) on
:
Last year I had tests which showed I had a maneagable chronic lung condition, however I knew what was being ruled out (or in) during the tests was cancer. My heart goes out to all those touched by this condition.
Posted by Spiffy (# 5267) on
:
Well, tomorrow I get to go in and have someone fondle my breasts to determine if that new little bump up in there is cancer. Considering my family history of cysts, I'm more resigned than freaked out because if all goes according to the family medical history, I'll get to go through this about once every three years or so for the rest of my life.
But hey, there was that one time my mother went in thinking it was another cyst and wound up winning the Big C Jackpot, so I can't be too blase about it.
It can still fuck off, because it's going to be the most action the girls will have gotten in YEARS. And those clinicians are never gentle.
(Also? I can't tell anyone in my family about it because they will freak the ever-living fuck out. So I have to tell you guys. Fuck fuck fucking fuck fuckers fuck fuckity fuck.)
Posted by Mary LA (# 17040) on
:
Wishing you good luck, Spiffy.
I came onto this forum a week or more ago in a state because a close friend had just been told she had breast cancer. I thought I needed to find others who might pray for her, I couldn't pray because I felt too numb and unbelieving. Each bout of news has been more frightening and nightmarish since then. She is due to have a radical mastectomy and the cancer may be in her lymph nodes.
Fuck cancer.
Posted by Spiffy (# 5267) on
:
Fucking cancer.
Just the thought of it has made the last day and a half a mess of worry and stress. Which was not helped by the GP walking out of the room then coming back saying, "I got you a stat appointment at the breast imaging center, they're going to see you in 20 minutes, go hop on the Giant Dangly Terrormobile right now so you don't miss the appointment."
But then the radiologist said, "Yeah, there's something in there, but it's imaging as normal tissue."
So I'm fine.
Except I have to keep poking at this spot to make sure it hasn't changed, because while it doesn't look like cancer NOW, at any fucking minute it could go off.
I have a ticking time bomb boob. Muahaha.
Posted by Niteowl2 (# 15841) on
:
FUCK YOU CANCER! I lost my niece this afternoon to this evil.
Posted by Kyzyl (# 374) on
:
Spiffy, I just went through a needle localization breast biopsy, so yeah, fuck it. My results were good, hope your's are , too.
Sorry, I should read everything before responding.
[ 19. April 2012, 01:49: Message edited by: Kyzyl ]
Posted by Amazing Grace (# 95) on
:
Shit, Spiffy!
Fuck you again and again, cancer. Polly's death hit me again in church on Sunday. I still can't believe she is gone, and so fast.
Posted by Wilfried (# 12277) on
:
I just found out that a friend died of lymphoma. There was a time he was my best friend, but seeing as he lived 8000 miles away, I haven't seen him in a long time, or had much contact. And now he just disappears. I kept meaning to visit (this year, for real! Let's go to Bali!). I missed my chance.That's three cancer deaths in four months. Enough already!
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
yep
© Ship of Fools 2016
UBB.classicTM
6.5.0