Thread: Get Into Heaven Free Inventions Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Molopata The Rebel (# 9933) on :
 
I've always felt that there are some things which are so beneficial to mankind that their inventors must have received an automatic invitation card to enter heaven when they died. (if this is indeed the case is something that can be thrashed out on a different board).

A personal favourite is duct tape. With it, you repair leaks, build tents, fix cars, silence your children (only joking) or seal containers.

What other inventions are there out there that you would put in the same league of salvation?
 

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Posted by Edith (# 16978) on :
 
Seriously, the printing press

Unseriously, but importantly, the teapot
 

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Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
One of my heroes is Jonas Salk. When Ed Murrow interviewed Salk about the triumph of his vaccine against polio, he asked him, "Who owns this patent?", Salk replied, "No one. Could you patent the sun?"

What a man!
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Velcro. It was inspired by the ways burrs stick to your clothing and it works brilliantly, giving that seamless look to something yet keeping it tightly closed.
 

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Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Cat's Eyes, without which we would find it much harder to go out at night. Invented by St. Percy of Boothtown.
 

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Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on :
 
Nor a prticularly useful invention in a place where snowplows operate, chorister! One mildly aggressive plow driver and all you have is divots in the paving.

Someone who could invemt lane markers that work in snow/ice storms would be worth nominating for head-of-the-line status.
 

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Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
indoor plumbing with flushing toilets...
 

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Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
T'internet.

I think Tim Berners-Lee has done wonders for international communications, and enabled the ship, twitter, and a whole lot of really good stuff.

Oh, and porn, but I think he might be forgiven for that. IMO, the internet is a huge positive.
 

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Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :
 
Volkswagons. The real ones: beetles and Kombis. But the history of the vehicles may cause St Peter some blood pressure / migraine issues.
 

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Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :
 
Oh, alright ... volkswagens
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
I love timber buildings (I may have mentioned this before ...) and I'd to thank the mediaeval craftsmen who developed the tie-beam lap dovetail joint.

This joins an upright post to a tie beam (which runs across the building) and to a wall plate (the beam running along the top of the side of a building), with a handy slot for a principal rafter. It's truly a work of art.
 

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Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
The people who built the medieval cathedrals. Especially St. Rognvald, who built this one, and should consequently be excused any raiding and pillaging he may have undertaken in the course of his duties as a Viking.
 

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Posted by ChaliceGirl (# 13656) on :
 
Air conditioning. Without a doubt.
 

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Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Practical home air conditioning. My friends and I frequently say, "God bless Mr. Carrier!" Really!

[ETA nice Xpost with ChaliceGirl!]

[ 11. June 2012, 16:05: Message edited by: jedijudy ]
 

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Posted by Enigma (# 16158) on :
 
The wheel - though the inventor of whoever thought cuboid speed bumps were a good idea may be destined for another place.
 

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Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Molopata The Rebel:
A personal favourite is duct tape. With it, you repair leaks, build tents, fix cars, silence your children (only joking) or seal containers.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Enigma:
The wheel - though the inventor of whoever thought cuboid speed bumps were a good idea may be destined for another place.

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Let's hear it for the inventor of ... the axle!

eta: duct tape, with beer cans knocked into shape, has been used to repair aircraft too.

[ 11. June 2012, 15:48: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
 

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Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
I second so many choices here! A/C especially, at least when I'm back home in Michigan. We should perhaps expand it to all forms of refrigeration.

I will suggest rock & roll, and the means of recording it and playing it back.

And carbonated soft drinks. To be more specific, I could suggest the inventor of one particular carbonated soft drink, Detroiter James Vernor.
 

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Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Plumbed in hot and cold running water. Whoever thought up that idea deserves a free pass.
 

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Posted by ChaliceGirl (# 13656) on :
 
Duct tape has even been used in outer space.
 

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Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
I'm a big supporter of the duct tape nomination. I'd add blue tarp to that. and snowshoes. and swiss army knives. and car block heaters. and finally, headlamps.
 

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Posted by Arethosemyfeet (# 17047) on :
 
The bicycle. The biggest stroke against congenital disease in human history.
 

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Posted by lily pad (# 11456) on :
 
The highway rumble strip. They have saved many lives and prevented accidents.
 

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Posted by longing (# 17154) on :
 
The toilet. Thank you Mr Crapper.
 

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Posted by Oferyas (# 14031) on :
 
My late father hailed two great inventions:
the 6 inch nail, and WD40.
 

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Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
WD40 and Duct tape definitely.

The rule of life is: if it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40.
 

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Posted by DonLogan2 (# 15608) on :
 
Yeast (Non-Pharisaical) usage, whoever invented it is truly gR8.
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
spectacles/specs/glasses - how do you find your way to heaven if you cannot read the directions?

And of course electricity. Without those two inventions, almost every intricate thing we do as humans would be bound to daylight hours and people with 20/20 vision.

I was amazed recently at a description of 16th century lacemakers sitting around a table working at their craft using candlelight reflected through glasses of water. If you are reading this on a magnified screen setting, you'll know what I mean!
 

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Posted by windsofchange (# 13000) on :
 
I'm very grateful to the person who invented the Kindle, so that I might always be able to read the latest Stephen King novel on the subway without damaging my carpal-tunnel-infested wrists.
 

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Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Proper incandescent light-bulbs.

Conversely, there's an especially hot part of t'other place reserved for the bloke who invented the utterly horrid and headache-inducing long-life fluorescent ones beloved of eco-mentalists.


 

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Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
Hearing aids - especially the modern digital ones that can be adjusted to hear music and birds more clearly and be tuned to the loop system at church and the cinema.

Number 8 wire, which is what farmers and DIY people here use for all kinds of things, including fencing off paddocks, holding machinery together and anything else they can think of.
 

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Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
Central heating.
What luxury to have heating in every room, including bedrooms with no naked flame to accidentally fall into.
And bye bye chilblains.
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
The invention of scissors was a pretty good one. No more worries about trying to cut whatever it was with a knife, suddenly you had what was essentially two knives joined together which weren't going to slip, and much less likely to do you an injury while you were using them.

Umbrellas were another thing. No more sopping wet cloaks to be hung up dripping before the fire, where they partially blocked the heat and added to the steam in the room. No more towelling your hair dry, except when the rain was combined with gales, and a reasonable chance of arriving at your destination looking half presentable and feeling more comfortable.
 

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Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
Modern eco-friendly light bulbs, which provide lots of light for a fraction of the energy of those old incandescent ones, the inventor of which is destined for the other place.


 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
Modern eco-friendly light bulbs, which provide lots of light for a fraction of the energy of those old incandescent ones, the inventor of which is destined for the other place.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Ariel:
Umbrellas were another thing.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Moo:
Push-button umbrellas.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Huia:
Hearing aids - especially the modern digital ones that can be adjusted to hear music and birds more clearly and be tuned to the loop system at church and the cinema.

Number 8 wire, which is what farmers and DIY people here use for all kinds of things, including fencing off paddocks, holding machinery together and anything else they can think of.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tree Bee:
Central heating.
What luxury to have heating in every room, including bedrooms with no naked flame to accidentally fall into.
And bye bye chilblains.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sparrow:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Young_Simpson

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He sort of reminds me of Curly Joe, the sixth of the Three Stooges.
 

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Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
My Nana, who was born at the start of the last century, told me once that the best invention in her lifetime was detergent.
I guess before that, soap was used for every sort of washing.
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
Paperclips, for the occasions when you need a short piece of bendy wire to fasten things, poke out holes (eg in the Araldite tubes), act as counterweights on the Anglepoise lamp when the replacement bulb fitting is the wrong weight, hang up the antenna wire from an old radio, replace the dangly bit on a zip...

Wire coathangers, for when you need a more robust and longer piece of bendy wire to fasten bigger things, break into the quarter light of the car when you have lost the key, invent a fixing to prevent someone breaking into the quarter light, make an Advent wreath, hook something out of the drain, replace the radio aerial on the car...

There was a third thing I had in mind when I started, but it's gone for the moment.
 

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Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
The TV remote.

Remember when you had to get up out of your chair to change channels, adjust the volume, or turn the set on/off, not to mention adjust the horizontal or vertical hold?
 

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Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on :
 
... replace the dangly bit on a zip...

Thanks, Penny S.

<Morlader leaves to repair several zips>
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
Used a paperclip this morning to hold up the lid of the plastic toolbox in the garden - I have a length of chain which is supposed to hook onto a nail in the fence, but the hook had gone.

There is an irritating version of paperclip which looks (and is for its prime purpose) more robust than the usual, but has been made of a more brittle wire which breaks rather than bends.

I note the coathanger thread. I have about five left in the garage which I shall make sure to keep. I hadn't realised the source had dried up.
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
Thinking on the farmers' wire directed me to baler twine, and thence to string. Surely string, in all weights, must be in the list?

It wasn't my third one though, which is still elusive.
 

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Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
I recently discovered I could use paperclips to reclose a blister package.

Moo
 

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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
The TV remote.

Remember when you had to get up out of your chair to change channels, adjust the volume, or turn the set on/off, not to mention adjust the horizontal or vertical hold?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Penny S:
Paperclips, for the occasions when you need a short piece of bendy wire to fasten things...

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quote:

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Originally posted by Earwig:

quote:

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Originally posted by Penny S:
Paperclips, for the occasions when you need a short piece of bendy wire to fasten things...

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Or need a stich marker for your crochet.

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If you drop a stitch in knitting and don't want to deal with it immediately, a paper clip will hold it safely.
 

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Posted by Galilit (# 16470) on :
 
Face cloths (flannels, the teeniest tiniest in the Towels Dept; 30cmX30cm )
Especially the ones where one side is all loopy and the other side has been to the US Marines barber and is all velvety.
You can never have too many, they are a cheap treat, and you can always find a colour in your linen cupboard that suits your mood (or your aura).
 

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Posted by St Everild (# 3626) on :
 
Tampax. And hot water bottles. And Neurofen.
And no, they aren't necessarily related.

And quite a lot of the others that have already been mentioned upthread.
 

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Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
Fast cars and motor racing venues. I have driven some of the former, notably the Jaguar XK-R (with 550 BHP!) and had hours of fun visiting the latter as an official and watching the sport on television: I really enjoy the 24 Hours of Le Mans. I have met David Hobbs who was a class winner back in the 60s and have gotten road-racing instruction from American racing driver Davy Jones who won his class back in the 90s.
 

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Posted by Paddy O'Furniture (# 12953) on :
 
Zoloft. It's been the only anti-depressant that consistently works well for me. Pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza. Donuts. Hmmmm, I'm hungry but I'm not depressed.
 

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Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
Free pass to the person who pointed out to me that single malt whisky and dark chocolate complement each other.

Not an invention, but still deserves it.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Balaam:
Free pass to the person who pointed out to me that single malt whisky and dark chocolate complement each other.

Not an invention, but still deserves it.

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