Ship of Fools: Biblical Photo Ops

Thread: Biblical Photo Ops Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

quote:
Originally posted by IconiumBound:
What would have occurred in Jesus' earthly ministry if photography had been invented then?
Certainly for Palm Sunday. "Rabbi, can't you get the donkey to stand still for the shot?" "No, children, don't wave your palm branches in front of the rabbi's face!"

The game: Describe in a line or two what the suggested Biblical scene might have been like had paparrazi been present. Then suggest a new scene, providing book, chapter and verse reference for clarity.

To begin:

Jonah in the belly of the fish (Jonah 1:17)

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

"Jeez, can you believe we've been camped out here for three days and three nights waiting for this guy to come out? By the way, I'm from People magazine, what about you?" "Field and Stream."

Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:26)

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

(Two bloggers filming with their smart phones)

"Five bucks sez she looks back! Five bucks sez she looks back!!"

"You're on! There's no way she's gonna-- HOLY FRACKING SHIITE!! This is going straight to You Tube!!"

Jesus eating with sinners and tax collectors.(Matt. 9 10-13)

[ 19. June 2012, 17:15: Message edited by: Stetson ]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

"Right, then. Sinners over here, tax collectors over there, please. Rabbi, you sit in the middle. Could you all please refrain from putting food in your mouths until I've snapped the shot? No, don't break the bread just yet, Rabbi. Thanks."

The wedding feast at Cana. John 2:1-11

[ 19. June 2012, 21:30: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

"Damn, the light wasn't good in that last shot...I need to change the apperture...JC, could you just do that thing again with the water and the wine???"

Jesus teaching the people from a boat

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Missed the edit window, but that's from Mark 4:2.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

(TV news editor, reviewing the footage)

"Okay, he's on a boat. I like that. But he's talking about farmers. When he's on a boat. Bit of a disconnet there. Maybe just show a clip of him on the boat, and have the anchor summarize his general point. Oh, and have we got a confirmation on this calming the storm stuff?"

The worship of the Golden Calf (Exodus 32)

[ 20. June 2012, 00:49: Message edited by: Stetson ]

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

"Good evening and welcome to the first-ever edition of Songs of Praise. I'm Thora Hird and we're here this week in the wilderness outside Egypt ... oh, I don't think the congregation have quite understood the script ..."

Noah and the Flood (Genesis ch. 6)

[ 20. June 2012, 01:58: Message edited by: piglet ]

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

(TV listing)

The Most Hated Family In Mesopotamia. Documentary. Watch as the Noah clan deplete the local wood supply, turn their yard into a dung heap, and harass their neighbours with chants of "Wicked Drown In Water!!"

The Writing On The Wall (Daniel 5)

Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :

Good Evening, Tonight's outside broadcast comes from the Palace of Belshazzar, I understand that in the last few hours there has been another strike by a phantom hand. We are joined by a Council Leader Red Dan, an expert in phantom handwriting interpretation who is calling for official recognition for graffitti artists and is campaigning for local funding from the Government.

Hmm Can I call you Dan? What is your interpretation of this strange writing?

Dan: Well It seems to be a prophecy that in the future someone greater than he, will come. I believe the name of this great one is "Bansky"

Feeding the Five Thousand. Mathew 14

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

"OK, look, I can't get all 5000 of you in the shot. Where's the boy who had the fish? You? Stand over here. Hold this fish up, will you? That's a good boy. And what about the guy who had the loaves? Over here, please. Now, you, there, hold up that basket of leftovers. That's it. OK, now smile, everybody, and look like you've just eaten a full meal."

Moses parts the red sea. Exodus 14:21-29

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

"Where are the helicopters???...I need the helicopters NOW...I don't care if they're on smoko, get them off their *****&!@!^$$e$ and into the air NOW. NOW, d'you hear me? And tell them not to get tangled up with that tornado thing of fiery cloud. This shot's costing a bath of denarii as it is."

Ruth and Boaz on the threshing floor. Ruth 3:8

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