Ship of Fools: Grilled Cheesus

Thread: Grilled Cheesus Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Shire Dweller (# 16631) on :

Grilled Cheesus

I dont usually dare to come up here, but Christians of a more discerning disposition, please enlighten me...

Is this real?

Or a spoof?

There's something about Holy Toast in the Gadgets for God section of Ship of Fools but not specifically this (correct me if I'm wrong)

Posted by Sarumriterules (# 16032) on :

Would make a change from custard creams at the after-Mass get together.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Shire Dweller, unfortunately, I think it's real! If I'm not misremembering, it was on the local news station a few months ago.

(Must have been a slow news day!)

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Sadly, its probably real.

Gives you hope for the future of mankind. Sorry - hope for the apocalypse to come soon.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Thankfully I don't see it as the sort of things great numbers of Quakers would buy.

Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :

A friend bought me the Jesus version of the Holy Toast stamp. It makes lovely grooves in the toast that more butter can run into. Add marmite and you have a yummy outline drawing of Our Lord for breakfast.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

"Take, eat. This is my body, broken, grilled to a delicious crisp then doused in rich creamery butter for you"?

Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
A friend bought me the Jesus version of the Holy Toast stamp. It makes lovely grooves in the toast that more butter can run into. Add marmite and you have a yummy outline drawing of Our Lord for breakfast.

The secret of the Turin Shroud is revealed!

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

In the past, I have informed the Queen of Bashan that if she ever is having trouble finding a birthday gift for me, one of those presses would be appreciated.

That and a Sterling silver cow creamer. Someone has read a bit too much Wodehouse in his day.

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
That and a Sterling silver cow creamer. Someone has read a bit too much Wodehouse in his day.

I think of that whenever I see a cow shaped milk jug...

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
... It makes lovely grooves in the toast that more butter can run into. Add marmite and you have a yummy outline drawing of Our Lord for breakfast.
The secret of the Turin Shroud is revealed!

I'm trying very hard to resist calling Adeodatus to Hell for using the words "Marmite" and "yummy" in the same sentence ...

[Devil]

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by piglet:

quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
... It makes lovely grooves in the toast that more butter can run into. Add marmite and you have a yummy outline drawing of Our Lord for breakfast.
The secret of the Turin Shroud is revealed!

I'm trying very hard to resist calling Adeodatus to Hell for using the words "Marmite" and "yummy" in the same sentence ...

If you do, I shall happily join you in lambasting the miscreant.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

No, not the Marmite wars! Then it'll be the correct names for various bakery goods, who was the definitive Doctor, when to use an apostrophe.... After that, it's skies dark with the smoke of burning cities and the ground strewn with corpses.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

If you do not wish us to continue, do not make the end sound so appealing.

[ 11. August 2012, 07:10: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]

Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :

Hey, y'all want a Marmite fight? Go ahead - I won't be the one with pernicious anaemia caused by a vitamin B12 deficiency from not eating my Marmite! [Razz]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

I'm with you, adeodatus! Have you tried the new [older] matured one yet?

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

Rather eat the jar than the contents.

Posted by WhateverTheySay (# 16598) on :

I happen to like Marmite in small quantities. It is very nice on brown bread toast.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

As much as you wouldn't see, as they say at home. For optimal breakfast-time bliss, spread on homemade cheese bread.

Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by WhateverTheySay:
I happen to like Marmite in small quantities. It is very nice on brown bread toast.

Only if you then place them on the wall in place of tiles.

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

I once had some Marmite delivered when I was staying in a remote-ish spot in East Africa some years ago. It was only a small jar, and so I explained to my colleagues that it was an acquired taste and there was no chance they would like it.

This produced the unintended but predictable consequence that they were all convinced I was keeping something incredible from them.

After weeks of hints and pointed looks I gave in and put some on toast for them.

The expressions were somewhere between revulsion, facial spasm, attempted facade of politeness, hysteria and rictus grins.

By the way I also know someone who does marmite as seasoning on roast chicken. It's fantastic.

But I don't know anyone who toasts Jesus faces with it.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

sighs, warms up thermo-nuclear tea and crumpets

So you lot wish to jump start the end times?
The use marmite/vegemite is the purview of sadistic parents who never really wanted children. Adults who present the claim they enjoy the experience to other adults are themselves sadistic, enjoy malicious pranks or are the victims of culinary Stockholm syndrome.
The very fact the instruction for consuming this vile concoction is to spread as thinly as possible, is proof that the stuff IS.NOT.GOOD.
This is the equivalent of saying. "You do not like tea? You are not drinking it proper. Hold it at arms length, pinch one nostril and sniff gently."

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

[Killing me]

I should confess at this stage that my hatred of the M. word stems from my ignorance of The Rules.

The one and only time I tried it I asssumed you spread it on like butter on a potato scone ... [Eek!]

No wonder I don't like it. [Projectile]

At least it means there's all the more for my Beloved, who does. [Smile]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Adults who present the claim they enjoy the experience to other adults are themselves sadistic, enjoy malicious pranks or are the victims of culinary Stockholm syndrome.

It can't be the last, since we didn't have it in the house when I was a child. As for sparingness of application - how many anchovies do you put on your pizza? How much wasabi on your sushi? How much Chili pickle on your poppadum?

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

The foods you mention are flavour enhancers, yet powerful tastes on their own. So one would, of course, use them sparingly. One needn't like them to understand this. However, these are not appropriate comparisons to marmite. The appropriate comparison for marmite would be scrapings from the cat's box. Yes, more makes it worse; but no amount is good.

[ 12. August 2012, 14:15: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
sighs, warms up thermo-nuclear tea and crumpets

So you lot wish to jump start the end times?
The use marmite/vegemite is the purview of sadistic parents who never really wanted children. Adults who present the claim they enjoy the experience to other adults are themselves sadistic, enjoy malicious pranks or are the victims of culinary Stockholm syndrome.
The very fact the instruction for consuming this vile concoction is to spread as thinly as possible, is proof that the stuff IS.NOT.GOOD.
This is the equivalent of saying. "You do not like tea? You are not drinking it proper. Hold it at arms length, pinch one nostril and sniff gently."

I call your Marmite and Tea and raise it Patum Peperium.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
The appropriate comparison for marmite would be scrapings from the cat's box.

LilBuddha has a Magic Cat that poos Marmite! Where is this wonderful animal, that we may adore it?

Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :

I don't think you need lB's cat, exactly; any ol' moggie will do.

Yet another reason to have Cambelite's Big Book of Cat Cookery handy—eliminate the surplus feline population, and Marmite production will end.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

Firenze, you are a sad, sad person. There exists absolutely no hope for your taste buds or sanity. I'd wager you drink Lipton as well.

[ 12. August 2012, 16:04: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I'd wager you drink Lipton as well.

Tea? TEA? You think I drink tea? You shouldn't judge people by your own standards (probably explains why you're so confused about catpiss).

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

You do not drink TEA?!
I am not certain we can communicate, then. Barbarian [Disappointed]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

If your idea of fun is the offscourings of boiled leaves, I'm not sure there is a lot we could talk about.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
how many anchovies do you put on your pizza?

One per slice, as God intended.

quote:
How much wasabi on your sushi?

As much as required to completely mask the taste of the sushi itself.

quote:
How much Chili pickle on your poppadum?

Lime pickle, if you please. And the answer is about a quarter of a jar per poppadom.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
how many anchovies do you put on your pizza?
One per slice, as God intended.

quote:
How much wasabi on your sushi?
As much as required to completely mask the taste of the sushi itself.

quote:
How much Chili pickle on your poppadum?
Lime pickle, if you please. And the answer is about a quarter of a jar per poppadom.

Apart from age, politics and BMI there aren't many differences between MtM and me.

On other topics I'm investigating the possibility of a "Che" toaster. It could sell in its millions to students.

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Lime pickle, if you please. And the answer is about a quarter of a jar per poppadom.

Word, brother.

Or, more correctly, "Barabar bhai".

Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
how many anchovies do you put on your pizza?
One per slice, as God intended.

quote:
How much wasabi on your sushi?
As much as required to completely mask the taste of the sushi itself.

quote:
How much Chili pickle on your poppadum?
Lime pickle, if you please. And the answer is about a quarter of a jar per poppadom.

O God, Marvin, I think I'm in love.
[Axe murder]

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mdijon:

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Lime pickle, if you please. And the answer is about a quarter of a jar per poppadom.
Word, brother.

Or, more correctly, "Barabar bhai".

All blessings to Patak's, may their tribe increase [Big Grin]

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

Indeed, I was about to add "Patak's, I presume". There is not much to compare with them in the UK market apart from home-made.

There was a worrying family feud in the company around 2006 that threatened to deprive us of their services, and potentially produce a pickle-and-masala-drought of terrifying intensity, but fortunately this passed and, thanks be to Pathak, we have a secure supply.

Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
I call your Marmite and Tea and raise it Patum Peperium. [/QB]

Damn you Sioni, I have been relish-free for over a month but now I am seriously contemplating nipping down to Bennetts in my lunch break for a pot of Gentleman's Relish for my supper.

I am salivating just thinking of all that salty anchovy goodness!

Posted by Pine Marten (# 11068) on :

Marmite is wondrously good on toasted soldiers dipped into a soft boiled egg.

What beats me is why anyone should want to kill their tastebuds on (eurgh) hot, spicy food which sets your mouth on fire and numbs your lips. Why, people, why?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
How much Chili pickle on your poppadum?
Lime pickle, if you please. And the answer is about a quarter of a jar per poppadom.

Softie.

@Pine Marten: spicing, Done Properly, is not about numb and burn. It's about excitation, tingle and vividly aromatic flavours.

[ 13. August 2012, 11:18: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pine Marten:

What beats me is why anyone should want to kill their tastebuds on (eurgh) hot, spicy food which sets your mouth on fire and numbs your lips. Why, people, why?

As Firenze says, it's the vivid flavours. The flourescent colours and neon lights rather than pastel shades. You do lose some tastebuds, but your hearing goes listening to rock music as it should be played, or many orchestral pieces for that matter.

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

There is scientific support for the experience of our fellow shipmates.

The phenomena is described as a hedonic shift.

Chilli eaters really do enjoy life more.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:
Originally posted by Pine Marten:

What beats me is why anyone should want to kill their tastebuds on (eurgh) hot, spicy food which sets your mouth on fire and numbs your lips. Why, people, why?
As Firenze says, it's the vivid flavours. The flourescent colours and neon lights rather than pastel shades.

One problem I see with people who care not for very much spice is too much too soon. One should build ones palate, rather than jump start it. After all, you do not jump off the 10 metre platform without first learning to swim.

A note: this does not work for marmite/Vegemite. Just as it does not work for cat poo.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mdijon:
There is scientific support for the experience of our fellow shipmates.

The phenomena is described as a hedonic shift.

Chilli eaters really do enjoy life more.

I'm adding that to my list of 'unexpected good news studies' such as those for red wine, dark chocolate and that Canadian study showing that the overweight (not obese) have better health outcomes than those in the optimum BMI range. Then again, that may have been skewed by the Canadian climate.

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
...and that Canadian study showing that the overweight (not obese) have better health outcomes than those in the optimum BMI range.

Unfortunately that finding only holds true for those with diabetes and other chronic diseases. (i.e. if you have been unlucky enough to develop diabetes while not being underweight, you are worse off than someone who developed diabetes as a result of being overweight. And chronic disease leading to weight-loss is worse than chronic disease not leading to weight loss.)

But other than that I think the red wine and chocolate stuff is good to go.

(Except you can't binge on the red wine, you need to do it regularly and in moderation. And the chocolate doesn't work if you add chocolate to your diet, you need to replace overall calories with chocolate. Which of course doesn't work if you try and swap a banana for a Mars bar.)

The small print is so much less fun, isn't it?

Now wouldn't it be great if a survival benefit was shown for Marmite eaters? There must be some intrinsic survival benefit to good taste, surely...

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

If you are going to mention fine print, a Mars bar will not do. Too much sugar and fat. Needs to be solid, Dark chocolate; ideally as dark as you can deal with.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Now wouldn't it be great if a survival benefit was shown for Marmite eaters? There must be some intrinsic survival benefit to good taste, surely...

The benefit is no self respecting predator would eat a creature which would shove something that disguising into their maw.

Posted by Pine Marten (# 11068) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:
Originally posted by Pine Marten:

What beats me is why anyone should want to kill their tastebuds on (eurgh) hot, spicy food which sets your mouth on fire and numbs your lips. Why, people, why?
As Firenze says, it's the vivid flavours. The flourescent colours and neon lights rather than pastel shades.
One problem I see with people who care not for very much spice is too much too soon. One should build ones palate, rather than jump start it. After all, you do not jump off the 10 metre platform without first learning to swim.

A note: this does not work for marmite/Vegemite. Just as it does not work for cat poo.

Hmm, don't know that I'm convinced. We have good parties at our shack, with people often bringing stuff like, eg goat curry & rice. In the past I've asked carefully, 'it's not too spicy, is it..?' to be assured, 'oh no, Pine Marten, it's very mild..' Yes, well, one person's mild is another Pine Marten's eyewatering disaster.

Now, a nice Italian meal with loads of olive oil, garlic, olives, beautiful cheese and tomato flavours, with vast quantities of red wine and hunks of crusty bread...ahh! now you're talking [Biased]

Not forgetting Marmite melting into Our Lord's nooks & crannies for breakfast [Razz]

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Marvin the Martian: "Take, eat. This is my body, broken, grilled to a delicious crisp then doused in rich creamery butter for you"?

Can I have some ketchup with that?

Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :

Marmite to bring peace to Middle East?

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Bob Two-Owls: Marmite to bring peace to Middle East?

For the first time, Jews and Palestinians, Shiites and Sunites, Iraqi's and Kurds finally will find something they all agree on: this stuff is horrible.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:

quote:
Marvin the Martian: "Take, eat. This is my body, broken, grilled to a delicious crisp then doused in rich creamery butter for you"?
Can I have some ketchup with that?

Blasphemy!

Ketchup goes with cheese on toast, never with buttered toast! Dear Lord Above, have the Devil's minions subverted even this most basic of moral principles? [Disappointed]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Ah, but if you look at the link, it's a sandwich maker not a toaster. And, from the name, we're to assume the filling is cheese. So ketchup would be completely in order (and gives a pleasantly Gruenewaldian air to the whole thing, don't you think?)

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

But surely with a grilled cheese sandwich it has got to be Branston Pickle™!

Posted by Pine Marten (# 11068) on :

Absolutely - 'tis heresy to use anything else!

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
(and gives a pleasantly Gruenewaldian air to the whole thing, don't you think?)

More like a Gougèreian air in the vicinity of the toaster.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Ketchup goes with cheese on toast, never with buttered toast!

I believe the 'Murikan version of that is grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. Yum, yum! Comfort food!

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