Thread: fashion advice please! (men's) Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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OK Shippies, can I get some fashion advice?
I'm playing personal shopper for a friend who's attending a wedding (as a guest). He's got a plain black suit, but needs a new shirt & tie. He's the sort who only ever wears a suit/tie to funerals and court appearances, and let's just say his current shirt/tie combo with the black suit makes him look like a bouncer! He has the "security guard" kind of build, with the cropped hair and everything!
I've been given carte blanche to get whatever I think will look good, but I don't want to make him feel too uncomfortable wearing it! So no pinks/'girly' colours I guess. Plus, I don't really know the 'rules' of men's fashion. Any advice will be happily received!!
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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Here's the occasional suit wearing bloke's view.
As the suit is black and he doesn't like girly colours', a blue shirt is probably best. Make it as pale as he can stand, with a darker tie, also blue. Brown won't work (this isn't the seventies) but green might. In general a brighter, darker tie over the shirt, in similar though not clashing colours.
Above all remember it's a wedding. Who the hell looks at what the guests are wearing??
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Above all remember it's a wedding. Who the hell looks at what the guests are wearing??
When I see the photos, I'd like him to look hot!
Posted by Loquacious beachcomber (# 8783) on
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With a solid black suit, and the occasion being a wedding, I would go with a dark red or wine-coloured shirt, with a red and black tie in dots or stripes. You could also go with a black shirt with red vertical stripes and a solid red tie.
Posted by Pancho (# 13533) on
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If he only ever wears a suit & tie for funerals and court appearances, then go for something classic. They'll be the most versatile, he'll get the most use out of them and they'll never be out of style.
Go for a a plain white shirt (or maybe a pale blue one) and pair it with a silk tie in a solid color or a subtle pattern like pin dots. Colors like navy blue and burgundy red should be fine. If it's an evening wedding a silver tie against a white shirt looks nice.
If he's got a "security guard" kind of build and doesn't want to look like a bouncer, make sure he takes his suit to a good tailor and gets himself fitted. He might need to have the suit altered, such as having the trousers hemmed, the jacket taken in, or the sleeves shortened. The trousers can have cuffs or no cuffs and should have a slight break where they reach the shoes (though it's trendy to have no break), the jacket should be just long enough to cover the back side (though it's trendy right now to have jackets a little shorter than that) and the sleeves just short enough to show about 1/4 to 1/2 inch of shirt cuff.
Another way to keep him from looking like a security guard is to have him wear a pocket square. To make the menswear snobs happy, make sure the pocket square complements the tie but doesn't match it in the exact same color and fabric.
I don't know what the shopping situation is like in the UK but in the US you can get pretty decent shirts and ties inexpensively at a discount store like Marshall's or Ross. Pocket squares shouldn't cost much at a department store.
Posted by Pancho (# 13533) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Pancho:
make sure the pocket square complements the tie but doesn't match it in the exact same color and fabric.
I meant "pattern" rather than "fabric". A silk or linen pocket square should be fine.
Posted by Cryptic (# 16917) on
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If he's a big bloke in a black suit, I'd go for a white shirt - double cuff and some nice cufflinks. If he's not took keen on a stark white shirt, maybe a fine or medium stripe.
Brightly coloured tie - pattern rather than stripes - and you're done.
I wouldn't go for a dark shirt of any sort, as this will reinforce the bouncer look.
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on
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Sine...?
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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The following is the kind of thing I only know because I paid attention to the very professional salesman while buying a Very Nice Black Suit Indeed, so here goes:
Any color of shirt/tie you buy is going to have to be tailored to him—not what's in season necessarily, not what looks good on a large powerful man, him. Pay attention to skin, hair, and eye color, and work with and against them as needed—especially to eye color, if his are nice. With a black suit, you really only have to worry about matching the shirt to him, then the tie to the shirt, rather than matching shirt to both tie and body, which can be complicated.
Now, while I don't know exactly what he looks like (obviously!) I can tell you that dark or red shirts or ties will only reinforce the tough, powerful bouncer look—red is (supposedly) a power color, and dark suit/dark tie seems to be what doormen (or anyone else trying to look intimidating) wears. Try something light—it will contrast with the black suit, and bring the focus away from the shoulders and onto his face and chest.
So, colors that work, or that I think might work. In my case (fair hair/ruddy skin/blue-grey-greenish eyes), a turquoise shirt with a silver/turquoise square patterned tie works wonders. It's one of the few things that even I realize I look good in. Violets can go either way, as they can lean either more red or more blue; I'd almost think greens could do the same, especially with green eyes, but, for someone with a sallow complexion, the yellow overtones might be a disaster. Looking at what Pantone has to say, that chartreuse might work if used with caution.
I'm going to stop now, before the hypocrisy of knowing all this, but still buying the most obnoxious vintage Hawaiian shirt I could find the other day, becomes too much to handle.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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Dark blue shirt and yellow tie works for me.
Socks can either be black or match the shirt. Unless the shirt is white. White socks must never be worn with a black suit.
Posted by The Intrepid Mrs S (# 17002) on
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Oooh, never a dark blue shirt with a black suit!
.... light blue, yes, sure, but not navy. Just looks all wrong. Any dark colour will reinforce the bouncer-chic vibe, so go for something pale with a tie in a deeper shade. This is a wedding after all!
I agree about the white socks though - another nono!
Mrs. S, fashion victim
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Cryptic:
If he's not took keen on a stark white shirt, maybe a fine or medium stripe.
Brightly coloured tie - pattern rather than stripes - and you're done.
This - for sure.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
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A very light blue shirt; tie a simple darker blue one, with a discreet pattern. Avoid a yellow or red tie - yellow is so Thatcherite, and red would have to be burgundy and that would reinforce the bouncer image. Make sure that the shirr and tie are the very best he can afford. If he wears braces, make sure that they are dark, again with a discreet pattern. Black shoes and black socks. Socks really ought to match the colour of the shoes and if they are 2 toned (put that thought out of your mind!) match the darker colour. The whole outfit should last him quite few years.
Posted by Ancilla (# 11037) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Above all remember it's a wedding. Who the hell looks at what the guests are wearing??
Only all the women!
I agree about avoiding a dark shirt with a tie. Too mafia. But there’s a risk with white shirt / dark tie that it can look a bit schoolboy or job interview. For a summer wedding, I think lighter colours look better. A couple of favourites I’ve seen recently were a sky blue tie with tiny yellow flower dots on a white shirt, and a pale yellow striped tie over a light blue shirt.
But weddings don’t always have to be shirt-and-tie anyway. If the shirt and suit are good, open neck can be fine, especially if you dress it up with a pocket square. Or you could always try something a bit more fun and dressy, like open-neck shirt and necktie (see here)
Okay, maybe a bit adventurous… I’m only saying what I'd find hot!
Posted by Tubbs (# 440) on
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TM Lewin have some lovely shirt and tie combos that might work with a black suit. The cut of the shirt will depend on your friend’s body shape. Cufflinks are better than buttons if he has a nice pair already. If not, it's an excuse to buy some!
If he’s up for coming shopping, then it’s worth taking him with you so he can look at things, talk to the sales people and pick some things that he likes. Then you can stir him towards the stuff you think makes him look hot.
The last thing you want to do is buy him something you think looks great and he hates. He may be too polite to say anything, but he'll do the cats bum face in all the photos and you’ll have to listen to endless whines about the collar being too tight etc.
Tubbs
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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Great stuff - thanks everyone!
I think you're right about getting the suit tailored; unfortunately there's no timescale to allow for that. (I barely managed to convince him that the suit really needed a dry clean). The pocket square is a great idea, thanks.
Posted by Loquacious beachcomber (# 8783) on
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IMHO, pale blue dress shirts are at least 10 years out of date; even Friar Tuck clergy shirts have not been available in pale blue for around 5 years because the colour is considered outdated. Although, you are talking Britain, so, maybe a cross-pond thing, but pale blue shirts pretty much went out with wingtip shoes, over here.
Posted by monkeylizard (# 952) on
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The shirt doesn't have to be solid color.
Example
Switch the color to a blue or green since you said he doesn't want the pink/purple.
Posted by Yangtze (# 4965) on
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Ahem, if you're looking for somewhere to purchase said shirt see my sig ;-)
Pale blue is a classic.
if going for white then you're going to need something with an interesting weave/texture to get away from the bouncer look.
The striped linen one from the link in the sig may work with a suit for a wedding and would perhaps be more useful in normal life after if he doesn't wear suits much.
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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Yes, pale blue is classic, but at this point, it's a victim of it's own success—frikkin' everybody wears pale blue. It's the safe, conservative color—maybe not as safe and conservative as black suit, white shirt, red tie (that's just Young Republican territory there), but most assuredly verging on the dull.
Hmmm . . . perhaps white or off-white with a bit of pattern on it? I know a few ranchers whose nice shirts were like that . . .
Posted by Pancho (# 13533) on
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Ecumaniac knows him better than we do but if, as she says, he only ever wears a suit & tie to funerals and courtrooms, and she says she doesn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, then this is exactly the kind of guy who needs something safe and conservative.
White and pale blue dress shirts are classics because those colors go with practically everything. They're basic staples of a man's wardrobe so if he doesn't already own any she'd be helping him out with a basic life skill too.
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on
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quote:
Originally posted by monkeylizard:
The shirt doesn't have to be solid color.
Example
I think this looks very sharp and contemporary. However, the OP didn't indicate the time of the wedding. This could be a good look for morning or afternoon. For later/more formal wedding, maybe the white shirt/smart patterned & colored tie is better.
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Ecu, if you want him to look hot, then go for an extremely good quality 'slim fit' shirt. These often do not have a breast pocket at all, but later on at the reception, when jackets have been taken off and dancing has started, he will look great, even with his shirt hanging out. And that is the beauty of the new slimfits; they translate into smart/casual really well. He'll get much more wear out of it.
The pale blue ones often have side detailing in them that do not show with the jacket on, but look great with it off. Leave the pocket square for the jacket, if he must have one.
A dark red tie with a pale or mid blue shirt can look snappy and masculine at the same time - as long as the tie is not too 'establishment' looking.
And I agree with Ariston. Skin tones and eye and hair colour will tell you a lot about what shades will suit him most. Mind you, most men I know are comfortable with blue - after all, they do spend most of their life in jeans!
Posted by Grits (# 4169) on
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The proof is in the pudding, and it's yummy. Oh, and this.
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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mmmmm....another yummy page....
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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As much as I would've loved to get him a shirt from Yangtze, we just didn't have the lead time. Also he would've had a heart attack upon seeing the price. As it was, I left the £35 price tag on the tie when I gave it to him, and only revealed that it was on sale for £10 after enjoying the horrified look on his face.
So he's ended up with a light grey shirt and a darker grey and red tie.
But I see we have reached the point in the thread where people start posting links to hot guys in suits. So please don't stop
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Pancho:
White and pale blue dress shirts are classics because those colors go with practically everything. They're basic staples of a man's wardrobe so if he doesn't already own any she'd be helping him out with a basic life skill too.
In the end I stayed away from white or blue because they look a bit school uniform-ish. (Although plenty of people manage to wear them perfectly well.) I don't know what the problem is - maybe it's because he so rarely wears proper shirts he has that air of slight awkwardness about it all, and the white/blue shirt doesn't help?
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Sounds like you did great Ecu. A difficult ask - and one that could have ended a good friendship. You obviously know him very well - he is blessed that you care this much. Well done! Grey and black are an elegant combo. May a good time be had by all!
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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Yeah, see, can we skip the guys wearing the suits and ties and skip straight to the Charvet or Ermenegildo Zegna threads?
Wait, that link probably isn't helping, is it? For once, I'm glad Charvet's website is useless.
Posted by Yangtze (# 4965) on
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Apparently someone has actually set up a website called Hot Men in Suits. I kid you not.
(The feminist in me is a bit uncomfortable about this -after all a site called Hot Women in Suits would raise my hackles - but it is actually quite good if one wants to look at men's style.)
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
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If I had a security guard built, I'd wear sunglasses and totally go for the 'Men In Black' look. "The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO."
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Yangtze:
Apparently someone has actually set up a website called Hot Men in Suits. I kid you not.
(The feminist in me is a bit uncomfortable about this -after all a site called Hot Women in Suits would raise my hackles - but it is actually quite good if one wants to look at men's style.)
LOL Yangtze, if you google "hot men in suits" the first link is actually pornographic! (um. Or is that just my customised search results from Google...)
Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on
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I was ually going to suggest a grey shirt! Lord P has a really nice grey shirt with black stripes which he wears with his dark grey suit and a maroon waistcoat - very smart.
Posted by Pancho (# 13533) on
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quote:
Originally posted by ecumaniac:
In the end I stayed away from white or blue because they look a bit school uniform-ish. (Although plenty of people manage to wear them perfectly well.)
You know, for all I blabbed about white and blue shirts, I like patterned & colored shirts too. I actually like gingham shirts a lot, like the one monkeylizard pointed out. I wear a blue and white one to Mass all the time with a tie and a v-neck or cardigan sweater.
quote:
I don't know what the problem is - maybe it's because he so rarely wears proper shirts he has that air of slight awkwardness about it all, and the white/blue shirt doesn't help?
I think that's at least part of the reason and it's very common nowadays. It's true for a lot of guys and it was true for me (still is a little). We don't dress up like our grandfathers used to do and some of their sartorial know-how didn't get passed down to us.
Since you asked not to stop posting links, I can tell you I get some of my clothing education from looking at the menswear blogs on Tumblr.
Posted by Og: Thread Killer (# 3200) on
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I know the decision was made already (and I heartily applaud the choices) but my two cents for body builder/bouncer types:
I shop at H&M or Zara. Sue me. And I'm often the oldest guy there...and one of the few straight ones, at least without his Mom in tow.
As already said, nothing warm - we want him to be seen as hot, not angry. Cool purples, greys, or blues.
A dark suit with a blue shirt has been pretty much de rigueur workplace attire for men under 30 for the last 8 years around these parts, but only once a week. Ties are often yellow or black or purple or green, of late.
I like the purple check....my first foray into my mid life crisis of buying clothes was a purple pin striped shirt....its still my favourite and I wear it almost every week. I've seen shirts like that check but just havn't bit on buying one...yet.
Today to work, I wore black dress shoes, black socks, black dress pants, a black blazer...and a greyish shirt with a Mad Men motif..oh, and a black hat.
I felt good about myself, which is the whole point of a mid life crisis.
And the whole point of what a man should wear anywhere, including a wedding.
(He says now wearing his very comfortable Hallowe'en pj pants with said Mad Men motif shirt before he heads off to bed).
[ 18. August 2012, 03:51: Message edited by: Og: Thread Killer ]
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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I think you have probably got enough advice, mostly contradictory, to confuse you, but I will add my comments. One of the people at my company is "bouncer build", and at the Christmas parties, he tends to look like a bouncer.
If the suit is very dark, then go for lighter shirt and tie, ideally with colour in the tie at least. Putting some light and bright colour into the non-suit parts will soften the look somewhat.
Also, work with blues and yellows, because they will compliment the well built frame.
Also, make sure the non-clothes aspects - hair, including any facial hair - are smartly done, but not severe. And encourage him to smile in a relaxed way. If he can have a natural relaxed smile, it will also soften the look. The person I know will smile, but not very naturally, and he does look like a bouncer, with the smile-free face you expect from such.
Posted by sebby (# 15147) on
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There was an article in a British daily newepaper yesterday I think that suggested that men over 37 tend to let themselves go.
It intimated that after that age men tend to opt for a top worn limply over a pair of faded jeans.
I was so taken aback that I am determined when retired or old to spend a good hour each day dressing, selecting just the right cuff links each day, putting the 'bones' in my shirt collar, polishing my shoes doing everything just short of a floral button nole in my lapel.
It will be my main effort.
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