Ship of Fools: Hell House?

Thread: Hell House? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by George Spigot (# 253) on :

I'm not sure which board this best fits but as I'm going to take the piss out of young impressionable people I guess Hell will do.

(Trigger warning. The R word is used in this video. Also no gore but people act out graphic acts like suicide)

Halloween New York City - Hell House

I'm not sure what I like best about this Christian Hell House.

The "sinful dancing" at the start.

The two hansom young men who do a very good job of evoking passion and the oh so sensual kiss on the back of the hand.

The "gay" rendition of get me to the church on time.

I think the iceing on the cake is the oh so cheerfull saving angel. She's just so jolly its adorable. I wonder if they offered any of the teen actors counseling?

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

"I Love my cat, I mean really love my cat."

Best line wins best line.

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

Hilarious.

I don't think I got the point of the first scenario; young teen scared by bad dancing, so she shot herself?

And the damning indictment of the girl in the pre-marital sex scene: 'you decision-maker!'

Looks like the food's better in hell, too, if the chunky Beelzebub is anything to go by! Can you imagine how the casting went for that?

'Hey, Chuck, we want you to be Satan.'
'Sure, yeah, great. How do you want me to play it? Sophisticated? Cold? Subtly and alluringly evil?'
'Well, er.... fat. You know just... er... be fat. Like how you are.'
'But isn't that, like, demonizing fat people? Playing into the cultural stereotype of the appearance-obsessed age we live in? Why don't we do something truly counter-cultural and let me play Jesus?'
'Well, Chuck, we just don't think that would give the right image. Jesus wouldn't have overdone the Twinky bars, would he?'
'But I'm the only obese actor in the group. Everybody'll know I was chosen to be Satan because I'm heavy.'
'Hey, maybe that's why God allowed you to be fat, Chuck; so you could carry out his will in this special way, witnessing, and saving souls!'
'Yeah, well, maybe.....'

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Jesus wouldn't have overdone the Twinky bars, would he?

Given that we know that the Son of Man came eating and drinking...

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

I stuck with it, I really did. I could take the violence, the blood and gore, the tragedy and the senseless waste. But then, it was all too much - capri pants .

No, no, no - SAVE ME!

Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :

Bad idea. Bad theology. Bad witness.

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

And bad pants.

Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :

Wow. Just. Fucking. Wow.

If I had ever been inclined to set foot in an evangelical church- that just cured me.

I can't imagine a better way to turn people off of religion than that amazingly ill-planned and ill-executed bit of douchebag theater.

[Mad]

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

I much preferred Jerry Springer The Opera...

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

I had to stop watching. It's like the evangelical equivalent of Saw IV.

[ 06. November 2012, 19:00: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by Bean Sidhe (# 11823) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Hilarious.

I don't think I got the point of the first scenario; young teen scared by bad dancing, so she shot herself?

And the damning indictment of the girl in the pre-marital sex scene: 'you decision-maker!'

Looks like the food's better in hell, too, if the chunky Beelzebub is anything to go by! Can you imagine how the casting went for that?

'Hey, Chuck, we want you to be Satan.'
'Sure, yeah, great. How do you want me to play it? Sophisticated? Cold? Subtly and alluringly evil?'
'Well, er.... fat. You know just... er... be fat. Like how you are.'
'But isn't that, like, demonizing fat people? Playing into the cultural stereotype of the appearance-obsessed age we live in? Why don't we do something truly counter-cultural and let me play Jesus?'
'Well, Chuck, we just don't think that would give the right image. Jesus wouldn't have overdone the Twinky bars, would he?'
'But I'm the only obese actor in the group. Everybody'll know I was chosen to be Satan because I'm heavy.'
'Hey, maybe that's why God allowed you to be fat, Chuck; so you could carry out his will in this special way, witnessing, and saving souls!'
'Yeah, well, maybe.....'

Oh Anselmina, have you been reading Martin Amis, 'Money'? You're channelling 'Spunk' here!

[ 06. November 2012, 19:15: Message edited by: Bean Sidhe ]

Posted by art dunce (# 9258) on :

It's Chicktract theater! I hope they do Fairy Tales? this holiday season.

Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I had to stop watching. It's like the evangelical equivalent of Saw IV.

Using the 'e' word in this sentence made me wince because this is as far from true evangelicalism as the Solemn Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:
It's Chicktract theater! I hope they do Fairy Tales? this holiday season.

That's got to be the most fuckwitted bit of Chickery yet, really it has.

Do people really take this shit seriously? I mean, really?

Posted by art dunce (# 9258) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:

quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:
It's Chicktract theater! I hope they do Fairy Tales? this holiday season.
That's got to be the most fuckwitted bit of Chickery yet, really it has.

Do people really take this shit seriously? I mean, really?

Someone must since they're still in business. I once had an appliance repairman ask to use my bathroom and later found The Death Cookie leaned against the mirror. I am not even Catholic but have a small altar with a virgin statue and my mother's rosary. Apparently, that's all it takes to get chicked.

Posted by Honest Ron Bacardi (# 38) on :

I'll be glad when the election canvassing's over.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

This isn't news. They did it all in United States of Tara, Season 1.

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

the links on this thread are going to drive me out of my head.

Posted by art dunce (# 9258) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
the links on this thread are going to drive me out of my head.

Sorry

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

When I was young we got all kinds of true, important and relevant information about marijuana in school. It became a joke because it was all just as bad as the pea brained idiocy going on in Hell House.

As I recall we used to use our most serious expressions to cite a wonderful study of what happens with marijuana use to our friends:

Did you know that one lab had 100 chimpanzees smoke their body weight in marijuana every day for a year and at the end of that year not a one of them could type a sentence?

My point, such as it is, is that unless someone is already of the belief that all that crap is true it just comes off as silly to rational audiences. Let them have their fun. They may make converts for more rational belief systems.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

Part of that script was published in Harper's a few years back, in that section they have at the beginning for offbeat stuff. I recognized the line about abortion and the back seat of a Camarro.

Anyway, today's fundy horror-tactics are pretty amateur, compared to their 19th Century forebears.

(Coincidentally, that cartoon was originally printed in Harper's, without irony)

[ 06. November 2012, 22:46: Message edited by: Stetson ]

Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
the links on this thread are going to drive me out of my head.

Thanks to the precious ones here too. I just checked out my first Chicklet. I sure as fuck hope it's my last.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
They may make converts for more rational belief systems.

Would they be there at all if they were amenable to rational thought?

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
the links on this thread are going to drive me out of my head.
Sorry

meh. I'll live. unlike Pete, I'm (sadly) not a Chick Tract virgin. they used to be everywhere when I was a kid, and they show up in the john at my work a few times a year. the bar regulars love 'em. laugh themselves silly.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

They actually had some excellent cartoonists, back in the day, as well. One of the neighborhood moms had stacks of them around her house, and I would pour over then when I went to play with her daughter. May be why I got into comics at all. Every cloud, etc.

(Dan Clowes, the creator of Ghost World cites Chick as an influence as well.)

[ 07. November 2012, 00:34: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by Spiffy (# 5267) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:

quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
the links on this thread are going to drive me out of my head.
Sorry
meh. I'll live. unlike Pete, I'm (sadly) not a Chick Tract virgin. they used to be everywhere when I was a kid, and they show up in the john at my work a few times a year. the bar regulars love 'em. laugh themselves silly.

Someone kindly left me a Chick Tract on my porch when I moved into Chez Mon Ewe. I was so touched, it's like they knew I collected them!

They're fairly rare on the West Coast, at least in my experience.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

They were all over the place in the Bay area, in the seventies. But back then everybody was tracting everyone. And San Francisco was a hotbed of, uh, eclectic religious pursuit.

Posted by Mullygrub (# 9113) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
And the damning indictment of the girl in the pre-marital sex scene: 'you decision-maker!'

All I could think about during that scene was how lovely her titties looked rolling about in all their ravaged glory (but white underwear? Really? I mean, shouldn't she have been in black or red lace or something?), and how her co-star must have really been enjoying the artistic merits and creative rewards of performing that scene with her.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

My favourite bit had to be avoiding the kiss at the gay wedding. No commitment to the acting whatsoever. [Disappointed]

Posted by Mullygrub (# 9113) on :

Indeed. Though they definitely nailed* the grief bit in the hospital scene, when one of them was dying, presumably of HIV or rabies or whatever the hell it is the gays and liberals contract these days.

Having said that, the camptastic "Get Me To The Church" was awesome. Loved it.

*No double entendre intended. Honest.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Technical merit - zero

Artistic impression - zero

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

I won't have zero for technical merit. The blood spatter when the guy shot himself in the classroom was QUITE convincing.

Posted by Spiffy (# 5267) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mullygrub:
Indeed. Though they definitely nailed* the grief bit in the hospital scene, when one of them was dying, presumably of HIV or rabies or whatever the hell it is the gays and liberals contract these days.

From my experience and observations within the LGBT community, we're contracting student loans and mortgages at an astounding rate.

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Bean Sidhe:
Oh Anselmina, have you been reading Martin Amis, 'Money'? You're channelling 'Spunk' here!

I think I better google that before I go any further. I don't think I've 'channelled' anything since ordination!

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
they show up in the john at my work a few times a year. the bar regulars love 'em. Soft and absorbant.

FIFY.

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Would they be there at all if they were amenable to rational thought?

Lots of people go to things like that just to pass the time, be with a group of friends, etc.

Teenagers tend towards herd mentality.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

Kelly Alves wrote:

quote:
They actually had some excellent cartoonists, back in the day, as well.

Fred Carter is the artist generally regarded as the best of the Chick illustrators. He had the most realistic, least cartoony style of all of them, close to photographic in fact. It was Carter who drew the panels for those full-length Chick color comics in the 70s/80s, with all their lurid gore and faint echoes of homoeroticism.

From a black-and-white bible tract

The other aritsts are nowhere near as good. One of them, possibly Chick himself, draws pictures that look like they should be illustrating jokes on cocktail-napkins.

[ 07. November 2012, 16:13: Message edited by: Stetson ]

Posted by monkeylizard (# 952) on :

quote:
Originally posted by art dunce:
I once had an appliance repairman ask to use my bathroom and later found The Death Cookie leaned against the mirror.

This one is AWESOME!!!

I never knew that IHS stands for Isis, Horus, and Seb, the gods of Egypt.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

Is it just me or does the actor playing Jesus sound sarcastic? I don't trust that Jesus for a moment! It's also pretty hilarious that they think people will want to stay at their hoe-down! (Well, they do have powdered-sugar donuts...)

quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:

From a black-and-white bible tract

I love how Bathsheba is sporting a 20th-century hairdo. And she seems so happy to be raped by David - almost as happy as she is while taking a bath. She looks ecstatic washing that shoulder of hers!

quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy:

quote:
Originally posted by Mullygrub:
Indeed. Though they definitely nailed* the grief bit in the hospital scene, when one of them was dying, presumably of HIV or rabies or whatever the hell it is the gays and liberals contract these days.
From my experience and observations within the LGBT community, we're contracting student loans and mortgages at an astounding rate.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

quote:
I love how Bathsheba is sporting a 20th-century hairdo.

She reminds me very much of Suzanne Pleshette from her Bob Newhart Show days.

And David looks like a toned-down version of Wolfman Jack.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

They wanting to shock folks?

They succeeded.

shocking acting
shocking costumes
shocking attitudes
shocking theology
shocking shocking

I had to laugh or I'd weep buckets

[Tear]

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

quote:
Originally posted by monkeylizard:
I never knew that IHS stands for Isis, Horus, and Seb, the gods of Egypt.

That is something I learned on the Ship a while back; one problem is that there was no Egyptian god Seb...

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by JoannaP:
one problem is that there was no Egyptian god Seb...

There was an Egyptian god called Set though. Apparently ol' Jack doesn't have very good proofreaders.

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by JoannaP:
one problem is that there was no Egyptian god Seb...
There was an Egyptian god called Set though. Apparently ol' Jack doesn't have very good proofreaders.

Yes I know but saying that the three gods of Egypt were Isis, Horus and Seth is on a par with asserting that Mary is a member of the Holy Trinity. The correct family group would be Osiris, Isis and Horus. Besides which, IIRC, when I looked into it before Seb is a mis-reading for Geb rather than Set(h).

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

I've had a look around and it loos like the Egyptians had "over 2,000" gods and goddesses. On that basis there probably is one called Seb! Wikipedia lists about 100.

On the other hand a single trinitarian God is a whole lot more difficult to grasp.

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
I've had a look around and it loos like the Egyptians had "over 2,000" gods and goddesses. On that basis there probably is one called Seb! Wikipedia lists about 100.

If there was a Seb, he was not a major god, certainly not one of the "top 3" - which is a pretty meaningless statement in Ancient Egyptian theology anyway.

Bu then I suppose expecting Chick to get the details of other religions right is pretty futile. [Disappointed]

Posted by Mullygrub (# 9113) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy:
From my experience and observations within the LGBT community, we're contracting student loans and mortgages at an astounding rate.

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
I've had a look around and it loos like the Egyptians had "over 2,000" gods and goddesses.

Holy moly, imagine keeping up with that lot. Oh wait -- I live in the developed world.

Meanwhile, a Sioni typo? What? You're fallible?
[a la Bubbles Devere] "Aih don' belave aht..."

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mullygrub:

Meanwhile, a Sioni typo? What? You're fallible?
[a la Bubbles Devere] "Aih don' belave aht..."

There are no prizes whatsoever for finding typo's in my posts. So long as everyone reads what I mean, we'll all get along just fine.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I read it as: 'I look around the loos' and had visions of walls scrawled with 'Sekhmet is a pussycat'.

Posted by Spiffy (# 5267) on :

I just spent twenty minutes tearing through my study trying to find the monograph I kept from my Ancient Egypt undergraduate class regarding graffiti during the pyramid-building dynasties, which has some great insults. Alas, it's either in a box I haven't yet unpacked or lost in the wind somewhere.

Alas, Google only brings me the boring stuff, but there's a brief mention of my favorite Giza graffiti in this article, when the team who were building the pyramid proudly graffitied that they named themselves "The Drunkards of Menkaure".

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