Ship of Fools: How concerned is God with what we do in the bathroom?

Thread: How concerned is God with what we do in the bathroom? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy:
I just read the thread title as "How concerned is God with what we do in the bathroom?"

Just thought you might need that little bit of levity in the midst of the argument.

I thought we might have a laugh with this.

I think the way I use the same flannel to wash my face and clean the bath might be very concerning for God, especially after re-reading Leviticus recently!

[Smile]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Let's get down to the real issues. Do you roll, fold, or crumple?

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Fold fold fold!

'tis ordained by God!

Exodus 39:9

It must be square—a span long and a span wide—and folded double.

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

Well I think this is all about mutually agreed boundaries and respect for others. [Biased]

So whether or not one cleans the bathroom as a mark of respect for one's housemates is clearly a matter of the highest spiritual importance. [Big Grin]

Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Let's get down to the real issues. Do you roll, fold, or crumple?

What are we talking about here? Towels? Flannels? About-to-be-used toilet roll?

No one else in the household (now that Nenlet1 is married and has a home of her own) seems particularly bothered about the state of the bathroom so I clean it because I like the end result. So it's to pleasure myself.

In a wholesome way.

I'm sure God is delighted. [Biased]

Nen - too gutter-minded for Heaven.

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

Does it, or does it not, wear the soap?

AG

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

God strongly disapproves of bathrooms (Deut 23:13). Their ubiquity is the sign of a wicked and adulterous generation. Woe unto thee, Armitage Shanks! Woe unto thee, Bristan! For if the mighty works which were done in you had been done in mud and dirt, there would be repenting in sackcloth and ashes!

Aside from that, I reckon God has very strong opinions on flossing. He seems like a flosser to me.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Does it, or does it not, wear the soap?

AG

I have never heard of wearing soap, so I had to
Google it.

[Smile]

Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :

As any fule kno, the school lavatory (US: bathroom) is the best place for junior satanism. If you are going to pledge your soul to the devil over the solemn sacrifice of a packet of fruit gums burned with a stolen bic lighter, you might as well choose a place that smells appropriate. And the fact that teachers never, ever venture in there makes it all the more attractive.

I don't suppose that God approves of many things that go on in the school bogs...

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

Boogie, it's an aged joke: Two nuns in a bath, one says "Where's the soap?"
The other replies "Yes, it does, doesn't it."

Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :

The Parable of the Sheep and the Goats can surely be rewritten as the Parable of the Toilet Paper Hangs Forwards vs the Toilet Paper Hangs Backwards brigades.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

But some people use those moist little sheets which come in plastic boxes with lids. Where do they fit in, eh?

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

Just so long as the toilet paper always comes up and over towards you presenting itself like the offer of grace, not lurking away hanging down the back of the roll (like the devil). Everything else is supererogatory.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Time was - specially around Christmas - when you couldn't move for gifts of scented candles. Made you wonder what your friends perceived your bathroom as smelling of ordinarily.

Or they may have been buying into those articles in woman's magazines about Me time. Apparently bathing by scented candlelight was supposed to leach out the stress from even the most frazzled female life.

Anyway, with all this flammable wax knocking about, you might as well put up a shrine and get some votiving in. Who knows, it might shut the kids up when the whiff of hot lavender tells them Mummy is worshipping Kali.

[ 03. December 2012, 13:45: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
But some people use those moist little sheets which come in plastic boxes with lids. Where do they fit in, eh?

That opens up the whole other faiths dialogue.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Of course there are the allegedly primordial faiths (see Durkheim) which still use pieces of newspaper hanging on the back of the outhouse door.

Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Of course there are the allegedly primordial faiths (see Durkheim) which still use pieces of newspaper hanging on the back of the outhouse door.

The orthodox ones still insist it was better when Sears still printed the catalog...

Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Of course there are the allegedly primordial faiths (see Durkheim) which still use pieces of newspaper hanging on the back of the outhouse door.

You leave my fortress of solitude out of this. My one remaining pleasure in life is an early day motion while smoking my pipe and listening to the jays coughing on the roof.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jbohn:
The orthodox ones still insist it was better when Sears still printed the catalog...

That would only have worked in the New World, of course. I suspect that the Argos catalogue, even with its many merits, is merely pseudocanonical.

[ 03. December 2012, 14:24: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :

What nuns do with the soap doesn't bother God at all, he's very openminded about these things. However, what he does mind about is what the soap wears. Short and curlies on the soap incur his wrath and judgement. It's some lost verses of Leviticus, chapter 13, after the bit about hair falling from the head being a sign of disease and uncleanliness (vv 40-46) The next verse should read,

"When the hair of any person, male or female, falls from the loins, woe to those who allow such hair to adhere to any soap or remain in the bath or shower. It is an abomination. The man or woman who allows this must return to the bathroom in penitence and thoroughly cleanse any area thus contaminated and avert the wrath of the Lord your God who observes all bathing rituals whether or not by candlelight; lo, even the darkness of thy bathroom shall be as light to me, says the Lord."

Nen - soap vigilante

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
God strongly disapproves of bathrooms (Deut 23:13).

That's easy for Him, though, He has Moab as his washpot.

[ 03. December 2012, 15:22: Message edited by: Chapelhead ]

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Are you sure? I thought that was Stephen Fry who, despite his many qualities, is hardly divine ...

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

Jewish prayer after excretion:

quote:
Blessed is He who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and many cavities. It is obvious and known before Your throne of glory that if one of them were to be ruptured or one of them blocked, it would be impossible for a man to survive and stand before You. Blessed are You that heals all flesh and does wonders."

source

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Bob Two-Owls:
You leave my fortress of solitude out of this. My one remaining pleasure in life is an early day motion while smoking my pipe and listening to the jays coughing on the roof.

I've asked and God thinks this is bit TMI. Jesus was seen sniggering behind his hand, though.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

In that case we'll delete the jays on the roof.

*Bang! Bang!* Got 'em.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jbohn:

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Of course there are the allegedly primordial faiths (see Durkheim) which still use pieces of newspaper hanging on the back of the outhouse door.
The orthodox ones still insist it was better when Sears still printed the catalog...

Before they went glossy.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

The orthodox went glossy? When was this?

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Nobody even mentioned the Orthodox. You breathing outhouse fumes? [Biased]

Oh wait you mean orthodox toilet users. Carry on.

[ 03. December 2012, 18:57: Message edited by: mousethief ]

Posted by Bostonman (# 17108) on :

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Jewish prayer after excretion:
quote:
Blessed is He who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and many cavities. It is obvious and known before Your throne of glory that if one of them were to be ruptured or one of them blocked, it would be impossible for a man to survive and stand before You. Blessed are You that heals all flesh and does wonders."
source

I just read something in a book about the interfaith youth movement about a Jewish and a Muslim girl coming out of the bathroom laughing, having shared with one another their respective traditions' bathroom prayers.

Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by jbohn:

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Of course there are the allegedly primordial faiths (see Durkheim) which still use pieces of newspaper hanging on the back of the outhouse door.
The orthodox ones still insist it was better when Sears still printed the catalog...
Before they went glossy.

Good point. The glossy stuff's well-nigh useless, I tell you.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I don't suppose any of you lot remember Izal Medicated toilet paper. That was an experience.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

The word "bathroom" is ill used for this thread (!) The function of interest involves the seat of ease, the throne of thought, the pissoire, the shitter - these are the most common functions, isn't it so?

God ordained that we should be seated, neither standing nor kneeling in the lavatory because this brings us closer to comfort than the other postures during such an undertaking. We are so designed. Which makes me thus question if we really should be kneeling or standing when during praying, or rather should be sitting, recalling the relief in our bowels as we experience the relief in our spirits.

(And the roll definitely rolls from the front, without question.)

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
The word "bathroom" is ill used for this thread (!)

Well, I'd thought from the OP that it meant "bathroom" in the broader sense, i.e. the place where you have your bath, or clean your teeth, not just use the toilet.

(Someone remind me, what's the North American equivalent of "bathroom" as in the place where you have your bath?)

Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I don't suppose any of you lot remember Izal Medicated toilet paper. That was an experience.

I remember the adverts, but not the experience as we never had it in our house.
But there was Pear's Coal Tar soap.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I don't suppose any of you lot remember Izal Medicated toilet paper. That was an experience.

Sadly missed.

These days schoolchildren miss out on the experience of Izal. You can't nip out to the toilets for a piece of tracing paper any more.

Posted by Darllenwr (# 14520) on :

Ah, yes, Izal Medicated paper. I (regretfully) remember it well. My grandmother persisted in supplying the stuff in her bathroom whenever we visited. I could never understand why on earth anybody would even consider using a material so manifestly unfit for purpose as Izal medicated - it never tore off along the "perforations" and it was glossier than an Argos Catalogue page (and I mean the ones in their stores ... [Eek!]

).

If you had wanted something for greasing a baking tray, Izal would have been ideal - it was perfect for smearing soft stuff across a surface ...

I think I need brain bleach now.

Posted by Bene Gesserit (# 14718) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I don't suppose any of you lot remember Izal Medicated toilet paper. That was an experience.

Gosh, yes, I remember that from school!

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

(Someone remind me, what's the North American equivalent of "bathroom" as in the place where you have your bath?)

Dunno. Maybe they call it the privy.

But yes, we need to hold out for the European usage, if only to avoid absurdities like talking about a dog 'going to the bathroom'.

It could definitely be the site of thankfulness: in draughty winter digs, your hour on a Friday night could be the only time in the week you were entirely warm.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Darllenwr:
Ah, yes, Izal Medicated paper. <snip> it was glossier than an Argos Catalogue page (and I mean the ones in their stores ... ).

I don't know, I have never considered using toilet paper in an Argos store.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Re terminology for "bathroom". I think the Americans may differ from Canadians on this. For those familiar to you, i.e., not in an office, it is commonly "the can". The room is the can, and you "go to the can" in it. Calling it "the potty" ot the pot is also common in familiar company. At an office or public place, with those not as familiar, it may be "the washroom". Canadians are also a little regional about it I think.

Seeing a man about a dog, hanging a rat, going to the little boys'/girls' room, and spending a penny are said in humour. Schools still commonly have W.C. on the door.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Bathroom = the place where you have a bath (The clue is in the title)

[Smile]

Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on :

Just to inject some trivia into this, how about trying: "Sex, gender and toilets" for a wide range of door symbols.

Who would have thought there was so much creative possibility?

And, no prophet, I've never seen "WC" on a school toilet-room door anywhere in the four provinces in which I have worked.

M or F, Male or Female, simple outline shape (pants or skirts), yes. Rarely "Boys" or "Girls" except in elementary grades.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Time was, of course, the plumbing followed you around (if you were grand enough). You had a close stool in your privy chamber, and your own personal bum-wiper - a coveted office of state (so not much change there).

If you were given to reckless pursuits such as washing all over, bath in your room and an army of maid servants hauling cans of hot water. Or M Degas in the corner, sketching furiously.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Seeing a man about a dog, hanging a rat, going to the little boys'/girls' room, and spending a penny are said in humour.

As is "going to shake hands with the Vicar." Best not to use that one in Church.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

They that are baptised need, and should, never wash again.

O ye of little faith.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I don't suppose any of you lot remember Izal Medicated toilet paper. That was an experience.

(in Maurice Chevalier accent) Ah, I remember it well.

Also Bronco, harder and shinier. And newspaper cut into rectangles, strung and tied to a nail.

Posted by Miffy (# 1438) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
The word "bathroom" is ill used for this thread (!) The function of interest involves the seat of ease, the throne of thought, the pissoire, the shitter - these are the most common functions, isn't it so?

God ordained that we should be seated, neither standing nor kneeling in the lavatory because this brings us closer to comfort than the other postures during such an undertaking. We are so designed. Which makes me thus question if we really should be kneeling or standing when during praying, or rather should be sitting, recalling the relief in our bowels as we experience the relief in our spirits.

(And the roll definitely rolls from the front, without question.)

There was no relief in my spirit on that momentous occasion, many moons ago, when so seated, my prayer book slipped out of my dressing gown pocket and into the miry depths below. Some of you may remember this.

The issue vexing my soul presently is that of God's view on whether bathing or showering is scriptural. I'm in need of wise counsel on this one.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Lice are the pearls of God.

Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

(Someone remind me, what's the North American equivalent of "bathroom" as in the place where you have your bath?)

Same room, and same term, at least around here.

In the one we had my senior year of college, you could darned near shit, shower, and shave all at one go.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Bathroom = the place where you have a bath (The clue is in the title)

Do I have to keep changing the name of the room depending on what I plan to do?

Be right back, honey, I'm going to the pissroom.

Before you set the table, go to the handwashingroom.

And of course if this is true of the bathroom, it's true of every other room in the house, right? If we don't intend to sleep, but still wish to use the bed, we're going to the fuckroom.

This could get fun.

Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :

This is a pond difference--in many British houses, there are two rooms, one with a bathtub and one with a toilet (I discovered this when I went to live in a British colony in 1964). This is unheard of in the US--all the plumbing goes in one room here. The room where you take a shit is also the room where you take a bath. It seems more delicate to refer to it by its bathing function. That isn't the case in many other countries.

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

Does God still love me if I groan, "Ohhhh, Godddddddd! Please stop the pain?!" when I'm having a particularly bad... uhh... instance of irritable bowel syndrome?

Does my guardian angel stand by me and comfort me when... okay, you get the picture! [Devil]

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Bob Two-Owls:
As any fule kno, the school lavatory (US: bathroom) is the best place for junior satanism. If you are going to pledge your soul to the devil over the solemn sacrifice of a packet of fruit gums burned with a stolen bic lighter, you might as well choose a place that smells appropriate. And the fact that teachers never, ever venture in there makes it all the more attractive.

I don't suppose that God approves of many things that go on in the school bogs...

How interesting! I remember some of the nuns in my grade school calling the bathroom the lavatory. I always thought they were saying "laboratory". Welllll, maybe it is, in a way... ha ha... anyway, I digress...

The schoolgirls shared the bathroom with the nuns but there was a divider between our toilets and theirs. The brave and naughty girls would dare each other to stand on the toilet seats and peer over the partition to see what the nuns were doing. We all wondered if nuns had to poop, like us, mere mortals! [Biased]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
This is a pond difference--in many British houses, there are two rooms, one with a bathtub and one with a toilet (I discovered this when I went to live in a British colony in 1964). This is unheard of in the US--all the plumbing goes in one room here. The room where you take a shit is also the room where you take a bath. It seems more delicate to refer to it by its bathing function. That isn't the case in many other countries.

Old British houses were built with with no toilet or bathing facilities, just a kitchen sink (cold water only) and an outdoor thunderbox. The outdoor loo had no hand wash facilities.

Things got better in the 20th Century, hot and cold running water and typically a bath, hand basin and loo in one room. By the 1950s the loo, at least in more expensive houses, had become a separate room but with no hand wash facilities in the serarate loo room, you have to use at least two door handles before you can wash your hands.

A modern house will typically have a combined loo, bath hand basin room upstairs, and a loo hand basin room downstairs.

However 'going to the bathroom; is an understood term for using the loo, even where it it a separate room.

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
But yes, we need to hold out for the European usage, if only to avoid absurdities like talking about a dog 'going to the bathroom'.

Which would be a nonsense, because the lamb is on the throne, as any fule kno.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Bathroom = the place where you have a bath (The clue is in the title)

Do I have to keep changing the name of the room depending on what I plan to do?

Be right back, honey, I'm going to the pissroom.

Before you set the table, go to the handwashingroom.

And of course if this is true of the bathroom, it's true of every other room in the house, right? If we don't intend to sleep, but still wish to use the bed, we're going to the fuckroom.

This could get fun.

A good point!

We have three bathrooms.

One has bath, loo and washbasin. One has shower, loo and washbasin. The other has loo and washbasisn (downstairs).

They are all bathrooms - in fact I am procrastinating cleaning the downstairs bathroom as we speak.

But the term originated from the fact that all had baths, not showers and that the loo was often still outside (we had an outside loo in the yard when I was little - just a tin bath indoors)

And the yard is a yard - not a garden.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
The issue vexing my soul presently is that of God's view on whether bathing or showering is scriptural. I'm in need of wise counsel on this one.

Miffy, you need worry no more. Neither are.

Bathing and being sprinkled with water belongs firmly in the Old Covenant, something that people who had incurred ritual pollution had to do before returning to the camp. Bathing, showering, washing, belongs to those whited sepulchres who are clean on the outside but are polluted on the inside.

Naaman the Syrian was commanded to bathe seven times in the Jordan but he was an heathen.

Apart from baptism, is there mention of any person in the New Testament either bathing or showering? In the Roman Empire, the baths were a resort for all sorts of indulgence and iniquity. If we were meant to bath or shower, obviously there would have been a clear instruction on the point.

St Paul was shipwrecked, and that was salt water. St Peter, who we all know was the first Pope, starting to sink through lack of faith, whereas Jesus walked on water, not in it.

Besides, how better can we offer an odour to the Lord than in our self-offering. Only imagine what shame rests on the person who has no odour to offer or who disguises their own with some false odour purchased in a bottle.

Is this counsel wise enough for your requirements?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Unless of course your bathroom taps deliver hot and cold blood of the lamb.

Or you have the River Jordan running through it.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Enoch - how could you forget the feet?

John 13:10

“Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.”

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

Do some of you read the Bible while sitting on the toilet? I was chatting to a Muslim on an online forum once, and he said that a Muslim would never, ever read the Qu'ran in this way. A Muslim has to be clean when they reads the Qu'ran, or when they pray.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

If it's 'read, mark, learn and inwardly digest' - then we know what digestion leads to.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

As Madeleine L'Engle said to a young man of similar not-on-the-shitter views, "That is a very unincarnational remark."

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
The issue vexing my soul presently is that of God's view on whether bathing or showering is scriptural. I'm in need of wise counsel on this one.

Bathing is scriptual. Bathsheba, after whom the bath was named, was known to go onto the roof in order to clean herself.

If you try this make sure that the slope of the roof is shallow enough for the water to stay in and that there are no perverted kings looking on.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Enoch - how could you forget the feet?

John 13:10

“Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.”

Well said Boogie. I stand corrected. But doesn't that still mean we are forbidden to wash anything above the ankles?

As for Bathsheba, look what happened to her.
If she hadn't bathed, David would not have been tempted, she would never have given way, and she and Uriah might have lived to a contented, if rather smelly, old age. We shall never know.

As soon as I thought of this next one, I couldn't resist it. You'll wish I had. Perhaps if I'd washed less over the years, I would have been stronger in the face of temptation. See where washing gets you and be warned.

It's quite clear.

The Lord delighteth in a whiffy Miffy.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Perhaps if I'd washed less over the years, I would have been stronger in the face of temptation. See where washing gets you and be warned.

It's quite clear.

The Lord delighteth in a whiffy Miffy.

Is Brain Bleach provided?

[Roll Eyes]

Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :

The particular moment may have passed but...

quote:
posted by Horseman Bree:
And, no prophet, I've never seen "WC" on a school toilet-room door anywhere in the four provinces in which I have worked.

M or F, Male or Female, simple outline shape (pants or skirts), yes. Rarely "Boys" or "Girls" except in elementary grades

You have to be a bit careful about this in the Gaelic parts of Scotland, and really hope they have outlines!

Ladies = Mnathan
Gents = Fir

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

Not sure an outline would be all that helpful....

Posted by Angel Wrestler (# 13673) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Time was, of course, the plumbing followed you around (if you were grand enough). You had a close stool in your privy chamber, and your own personal bum-wiper - a coveted office of state (so not much change there).

If you were given to reckless pursuits such as washing all over, bath in your room and an army of maid servants hauling cans of hot water. Or M Degas in the corner, sketching furiously.

[ 04. December 2012, 17:53: Message edited by: Angel Wrestler ]

Posted by Miffy (# 1438) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:

quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Perhaps if I'd washed less over the years, I would have been stronger in the face of temptation. See where washing gets you and be warned.

It's quite clear.

The Lord delighteth in a whiffy Miffy.
Is Brain Bleach provided?

Don't quite know why, but that takes me back to last Summer's Greenbelt. Mud, mud, glorious mud.
[Roll Eyes]

Posted by The Machine Elf (# 1622) on :

quote:
posted by Horseman Bree:
And, no prophet, I've never seen "WC" on a school toilet-room door anywhere in the four provinces in which I have worked.

M or F, Male or Female, simple outline shape (pants or skirts), yes. Rarely "Boys" or "Girls" except in elementary grades

I recall seeing 'Ablutions' on a school bathroom door and 'WC' on the closet. I think it may have been at a place in Nether Swell Manor where I went on a residential weekend for something when a pupil. Wherever it was, there were different wings for boys and girls so no need to mark that on the door. Not at my normal comp school though.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Bathing is scriptual. Bathsheba, after whom the bath was named, was known to go onto the roof in order to clean herself.

All women were required to bathe after menstruation and childbirth -- their husbands could not touch them until they were ritually clean.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Bathing is scriptual. Bathsheba, after whom the bath was named, was known to go onto the roof in order to clean herself.
All women were required to bathe after menstruation and childbirth -- their husbands could not touch them until they were ritually clean.

I realised that. I was trying to be delicate and not mention just which part of her body David was gazing upon.

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Seeing a man about a dog, hanging a rat, going to the little boys'/girls' room, and spending a penny are said in humour.
As is "going to shake hands with the Vicar." Best not to use that one in Church.

"Dropping the kids off at the pool", and for U.S. football fans, "Taking the Browns to the Superbowl", although I had heard that the Cleveland Browns football team is now defunct? "Pinching a loaf" <<one of my faves along with this bit of witticism from Whoopi Goldberg, "Squeezing out some bidness!" [Killing me]

Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :

Why should God mind what we do in the toilet? It is a prime place of prayer:

Oh God ! Please let it out!
My God! Are you still in there?

Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Bathroom = the place where you have a bath (The clue is in the title)

But a toilet isn't a place where you do your toilet. Or at least
Venus didn't.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:
But a toilet isn't a place where you do your toilet. Or at least
Venus didn't.

By gum, it's crowded in there.

Actually, it seems to be her bedroom, since there's a shagged- out Mars in the background. (Though I'm glad to see he's hung up his armour neatly. Some gods just leave it scattered all over the carpet for you to trip over in the morning.)

[ 05. December 2012, 08:00: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
although I had heard that the Cleveland Browns football team is now defunct?

No more so than usual- they're 4 -8 at the moment. [Biased]

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jbohn:

quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
although I had heard that the Cleveland Browns football team is now defunct?
No more so than usual- they're 4 -8 at the moment.

How strange... I thought I read somewhere that the team was no more... hmmmm... well, I apologize if any Browns fans were put into a tailspin by my pronouncement. [Biased]

Posted by Amos (# 44) on :

Amazed not to see Pyx_e on this thread. Back in the day he was always starting scatalogical threads in Heaven and having them closed. 'What Do You Read In the Bathroom' was one I remember.
However, enough of these reminiscences.
For Falstaff, a chamberpot (potty, jerry, etc) was a Jordan. Cue endless childish giggles about being baptised in the Jordan, coming up from the Jordan, etc.
A good Christian bathroom needs either one of those embroidered mottoes: 'Thou, God See'st Me' over a single eye, a lot of framed cartoons, or the theological college leavers' photograph.

Loo paper is not mentioned in the Bible. So hard, soft, recycled, medicated--it is adiaphora. Or bumf.

Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :

quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Why should God mind what we do in the toilet? It is a prime place of prayer:

Oh God ! Please let it out!
My God! Are you still in there?

From the Satyricon (from memory:

Sweet Cloacina calls.
Let not my offerings too swiftly fall
Or yet, too obdurate be.

[ 05. December 2012, 19:41: Message edited by: Gee D ]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Legend has it that Arius died on the toilet, although I believe the tropar only says his soul left him in an unseemly manner (see how restrained we are in our hymnody?). Probably apocryphal but it's a delightfully earthy way to crow over your enemies.

Posted by Niminypiminy (# 15489) on :

Instead of 'Now Wash Your Hands' the biblical bathroom has to have

'Who shall ascend to the hill of the Lord,
Or who can rise up in his holy place?

Those who have clean hands and a pure heart'

In I Capture the Castle (one of my favourite books) the bathroom has 'Lord hold thou me up' over the toilet.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.

You don't shower standing on your head? How do you get the inside of your nose clean?

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.

Is why God invented this.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
You don't shower standing on your head? How do you get the inside of your nose clean?

You mean there's some other way of cleaning the inside of your nose?

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.
Is why God invented this.

Which - the girl or the shower?

Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
But some people use those moist little sheets which come in plastic boxes with lids. Where do they fit in, eh?
That opens up the whole other faiths dialogue.

That's easy.

"Other sheets I have that are not of this fold".

Done in one.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

** groan ... **

Anyway, that's taken out of context: its real meaning is to do with which newspaper you read.

On the loo, or elsewhere.

[ 08. December 2012, 10:58: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Is why God invented this.

I really fancy one of those.

[Smile]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Is why God invented this.
I really fancy one of those.

As Baptist Trainfan said, the girl or the shower?

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

That would be telling [Biased]

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

Don't worry if you can't get your bathroom cleaned. Somewhere (I'm having trouble locating it at the moment) in the Law it says if you have mildew in your house, the priest has to clean it. So phone up your minister, ladies and gents!

Of course, if this happens too often, the priest is allowed revenge - in the form of burning your house down. So don't abuse it.

(I often think about this when I'm cleaning mildew off the piscina in the sacristy - Hmm, I should get a priest in here to do this!)

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