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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Household spirits and deities...
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
...we all know about the sock goblin, and the biro fairy, but I wonder what other unseen entities inhabit your houses?
We have the Turd Pixie. The Turd Pixie drops a hazard to shipping into the pan and doesn't flush it away. We know it's not one of the human inhabitants because everyone knows it's not them.
We also have the Washing Bin Troll. The Washing Bin Troll lives in dirty washing bins, but needs to turf most of the contents out onto the bedroom floor before it can get comfortable. We know it exists because everyone puts their clothes in the washbin, but the floor in the morning is covered in grubby garments, so it can only be the Troll.
Finally we have the Fart Fairy. This invisible creature slips into the room, deploys chemical warfare (a mixture of sodium chuffate and dinotrogen fartoxide) and then slips away. Again, none of the human inhabitants of the house know anything about it.
We think that these otherworldly beings are particularly attracted to children, as we didn't have them before we procreated.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
I'm sure there's a mean goblin in the kitchen cupboard which pops out at night after I've gone to bed. Not sure what he does exactly but the floor is often littered with crumbs in the morning when I get up. The other morning there were bits of onion skin on the floor.
I've frightened it with my new Roomba vacuum cleaner but there;s still sometimes stuff on the floor. I live alone and having asked myself if I am responsible for this, the answer is no. So it has to be a goblin.
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Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Our house is haunted - you can tell by the many areas of unearthly cold. On mildly breezy days a poltergeist moves in and randomly flings door open. A vengeful water sprite lives in the roof. The pot troll spends its time in the lower kitchen cupboards, mainly hiding the saucepan lids, while the nixie works the upper ones, smearing jam on the shelves. Picnicking sidhe ensure a steady supply of crumbs, grounds, peel etc in the kitchen and scullery while the mermaid looks after the regular reapplication of grime in the bathroom and a particularly flocculent brownie sheds over all the other rooms.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
At last, an explanation for why I only have three forks but twelve of everything else.
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Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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Tree Bee
Ship's tiller girl
# 4033
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Posted
We used to own a haunted VCR which used to turn itself on and rewind at the fastest possible speed.
Hair raising!
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"Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple."
— Woody Guthrie
http://saysaysay54.wordpress.com
Posts: 5257 | From: me to you. | Registered: Feb 2003
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marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442
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Posted
we used to have Fred, the invisible man who looks after my shoes while I'm not wearing them. He had a bad habit of standing in doorways and in random places where people would fall over him.
These days he is a bit better behaved, he generally stays in the hall next to the coats but every so often he wanders into the living room and I lose my shoes!
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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese
Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I'm blaming Caliban for his annoying habit of immediately removing and displacing things that I put down. He really seems to get into his own when I'm cooking. We play a little game sometimes called Hunt the Herb or Spice and I have to guess where in my kitchen he's concealed whatever I'm looking for. For whatever reason he also seems to like teaspoons. I know I have more than two.
I did outwit him the other day though, when I cleared out the kitchen cupbard and found three small bags of flour he didn't think I'd notice. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
There's also something living in the microwave that groans when the microwave is turned on, and a kettle undine that doesn't like the water getting too hot, so will turn the kettle off every few seconds. And some kind of banshee living in the double glazing, who can really get going sometimes, and a house elf who keeps stealing my socks.
Other than that all is fine, really.
[ 15. December 2012, 15:09: Message edited by: Ariel ]
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Eigon
Shipmate
# 4917
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Posted
My dad used to tell us about the Cubbies, who lived (of course) in the cubby hole under the stairs.
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Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.
Posts: 3710 | From: Hay-on-Wye, town of books | Registered: Aug 2003
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
We have the bread and goodies eating gremlins. Someone will buy loads of bread, or possibly some treats, but within a day or so, they will all disappear. I mean how does an entire loaf of bread disappear in 2 days? I only have a slice a day, usually. Our son always denies that he has eaten so much, and my wife wouldn't either, so clearly it has to be someone else.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
We used to have a chocolate fairy. If anyone gave our children the sort of highly coloured sweets we didn't want them to have, they had to say thank you nicely and then later put the sweets into a special tin. The chocolate fairy would visit overnight and replace the sweets with chocolate buttons!
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Surfing Madness
Shipmate
# 11087
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Posted
As a teenager I worked in the church coffee shop. Myself and the other teenage Saturday staff, use to blame all sorts of things on Jo(e) the resident ghost. So named because Jo(e) could be male or female. Jo(e) had a particular talent for moving keys!
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I now blog about all my crafting! http://inspiredbybroadway.blogspot.co.uk
Posts: 1542 | From: searching for the jam | Registered: Feb 2006
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mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
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Posted
According to my husband, there are little people who come to the house in the night, move things about, and then put them back in exactly the same places. Very occasionally they make a mistake and can be detected! ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous - Mike Yaconelli
Posts: 942 | From: North Lincolnshire | Registered: Aug 2003
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
We used to have a chocolate fairy. If anyone gave our children the sort of highly coloured sweets we didn't want them to have, they had to say thank you nicely and then later put the sweets into a special tin. The chocolate fairy would visit overnight and replace the sweets with chocolate buttons!
May I have her if you are done?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
I miss the Tooth Fairy. Steady source of income when I was four or five. Though I remember I tended to spend her largesse on sweets which probably didn't help. Me, I mean.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
As my Mum was from Bury, Lancashire, missing and misplaced objects were attributed to "Inky". Inky was especially fond of cake and biscuits and was inclined to leave stuff lying around (especially Lego blocks in dark corners). Inky was a litter lout before the term existed.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
We know the name of our house spirit. It's Granny, my mischievous maternal grandmother. She's particularly fond of moving, then replacing buttons, pens and spices. She really likes to pick on my mother.
Often, Mom will place a small item that she's using on the kitchen countertop. She will turn aside to do another chore, and when she comes back, the item is gone. After searching the area, Mom searches the rest of the house, thinking that she must have carried the item and forgotten about it. Invariably, when she returns to the kitchen, the small item is there, right where she left it.
And I can hear Granny snickering in the recesses of my mind!
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
Anything goes missing or found on the floor, we blame it on the cat. Not, of course, the regal Amber who wouldm't even consider such a thing, but on Safadin the smidgen puss who's really a bit of a brat. And if we can't find anything on a Thursday evening or Friday, we usually blame the wonderful lady who does some cleaning for me - her view on where things belong isn't always ours.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
My fridge groans as if it's too full even before the weekly big shop, also I have a a mysterious ghostly breeze that whistles past my bits and bobs when I'm in the bath despite closed windows and tiled walls. ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Re: the phenomenon of disappearing socks. The New Scientist reckons socks are the larval form of clothes hangers. I think there's definitely important work to be done in this area.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
... a mixture of sodium chuffate and dinotrogen fartoxide ...
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
I'm surprised no-one's yet mentioned the Sock Gremlin. He commutes between the washing-machine and tumble-dryer and removes at least one sock per laundry load (one sock belonging to each of us if he's feeling malevolent), thus rendering the game of Post-Laundry Sock Pelmanism unwinnable.
If he's in a really bad mood, he'll plant a paper hanky in the pocket of a pair of trousers just after you've turned the washing-machine on.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Too late for an edit:
I've just re-read the OP, which begins with the Sock Goblin ... ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
I was so busy falling about laughing at KLB's dinitrogen fartoxide.
[ 17. December 2012, 02:55: Message edited by: piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
Then there is the sprite (probably a sort of Pookah, actually) who lives in the fridge and has the job of turning the light on when the door is opened. But in his more malevolent moods, he slides leftovers to the back, where they are forgotten until they grow into monstrous chimeras of blue, black and green fuzz, and no one can remember their original state.
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Not
Ship's Quack
# 2166
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Posted
My cooker is posessed by a malevolent oven timer banshee who sets the timer so it screeches out in the small hours of the morning causing heart failure and the need to stumble down two flights of stairs in the dark.
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Was CJ; now Not
Posts: 600 | From: the far, far West | Registered: Jan 2002
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
I've got sewing sprites. They always hide my needle when I'm in the middle of my embroidery - after I've looked for it for HOURS, they tuck it in a fold of my jeans. It can't be me, who'd be daft enough to use their won clothes as a pincushion.
And the other night, my embroidery hoop went missing. I'd put it down while I ate my dinner on my lap. The sprites had carefully tucked it between my plate and the tray on my lap. Little pests. ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
Too late for an edit:
I've just re-read the OP, which begins with the Sock Goblin ...
I was so busy falling about laughing at KLB's dinitrogen fartoxide.
Honesty forbids me to not mention that these were invented not by me, but by the writers of that learned North-East based periodical, Viz.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294
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Posted
I have a house-office golin/sprite/pookah who has developed a fascination with the printer attached to my computer.
He will turn on the printer and activate whatever control pumps up the ink and spins the paper-feed rollers for several seconds.
He does this only (so far as I can tell) between 3 and 4 am, and only once or twice a week.
And all this without powering up the computer itself.
I haven't figured out how to explain this to The Geek Squad™
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You can't retire from a calling.
Posts: 1675 | From: saint meinrad, IN | Registered: Apr 2006
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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
We have the bread and goodies eating gremlins. Someone will buy loads of bread, or possibly some treats, but within a day or so, they will all disappear. I mean how does an entire loaf of bread disappear in 2 days? I only have a slice a day, usually. Our son always denies that he has eaten so much, and my wife wouldn't either, so clearly it has to be someone else.
We have something like this, with an especial affinity for the goodies stored up for Christmas. He has only really manifested himself after Viscount J came home from uni, so we suspect the young man was engaged in some form of occult activity in his digs that caused this unclean spirit to attach to his luggage.
Posts: 761 | From: The Instrumentality of Man | Registered: Aug 2007
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Morlader
Shipmate
# 16040
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by georgiaboy:
I have a house-office golin/sprite/pookah who has developed a fascination with the printer attached to my computer.
He will turn on the printer and activate whatever control pumps up the ink and spins the paper-feed rollers for several seconds.
He does this only (so far as I can tell) between 3 and 4 am, and only once or twice a week.
And all this without powering up the computer itself.
I haven't figured out how to explain this to The Geek Squad™
Ah! A high-powered one! Suggest you power down your printer at same you shut down your computer.
(My previous printer was possessed of the same sprite. My new one might have got infected too, but it's so quiet, I wouldn't know).
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.. to utmost west.
Posts: 858 | From: Not England | Registered: Nov 2010
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I'm blaming Caliban for his annoying habit of immediately removing and displacing things that I put down.
You might want to keep an eye on the drinks cabinet, given the two piss artists he seems to drag round. Mind you, if you can't smell horse piss, you're probably OK...
I think we are on one end of a wormhole. Both of us find stuff in that flat that we're damn sure neither of us brought in. Just so long as the Klingons don't try to use it. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Morlader:
Suggest you power down your printer at same you shut down your computer.
(My previous printer was possessed of the same sprite. My new one might have got infected too, but it's so quiet, I wouldn't know).
My printer has an opposite behaviour. It will sometimes stall while printing and nothing seems to restart it. I have sometimes gone three days and then, all of a sudden, the logjam clears itself and it prints the remainder - often at night.
If I need anything printing by a deadline, I always print it the day before so that, if it stops working, I can go and use a friend's computer and printer.
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My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by Morlader:
Suggest you power down your printer at same you shut down your computer.
(My previous printer was possessed of the same sprite. My new one might have got infected too, but it's so quiet, I wouldn't know).
My printer has an opposite behaviour. It will sometimes stall while printing and nothing seems to restart it. I have sometimes gone three days and then, all of a sudden, the logjam clears itself and it prints the remainder - often at night.
If I need anything printing by a deadline, I always print it the day before so that, if it stops working, I can go and use a friend's computer and printer.
Assuming this is Windows, try going into Services and seeing if the print spooler is running. If it is, stop and restart it. If it isn't, start it. May be it, may not.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Darllenwr
Shipmate
# 14520
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Posted
Anybody who has ever shared a house with a juvenile colostomate will know of a particularly malevolent goblin - the Peel-Off-The-Colostomy-Bag Goblin.
If it is an adult involved, matters are quickly dealt with, but juveniles seem to be less aware.
KLB mentioned sodium chuffate and dinitrogen fartoxide. Thanks to our ostomate, we were introduced to potassium mercapto-chuffate. As the name implies, this is the sulphur-containing derivative of sodium chuffate and is devastating at 50 yards.
At least with most youngsters their gaseous emissions come in small quantities. A colostomy bag can release 8 hours' accumulation all in one go. The wearer of the bag always maintained it was nothing to do with him. Meantime, as we beat a desperate retreat, coughing and wheezing, in search of breathable air, we had to conclude that some malevolent entity was responsible.
YMMV.
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If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: I do not exaggerate!
Posts: 1101 | From: The catbox | Registered: Jan 2009
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