Thread: Household spirits and deities... Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
...we all know about the sock goblin, and the biro fairy, but I wonder what other unseen entities inhabit your houses?

We have the Turd Pixie. The Turd Pixie drops a hazard to shipping into the pan and doesn't flush it away. We know it's not one of the human inhabitants because everyone knows it's not them.

We also have the Washing Bin Troll. The Washing Bin Troll lives in dirty washing bins, but needs to turf most of the contents out onto the bedroom floor before it can get comfortable. We know it exists because everyone puts their clothes in the washbin, but the floor in the morning is covered in grubby garments, so it can only be the Troll.

Finally we have the Fart Fairy. This invisible creature slips into the room, deploys chemical warfare (a mixture of sodium chuffate and dinotrogen fartoxide) and then slips away. Again, none of the human inhabitants of the house know anything about it.

We think that these otherworldly beings are particularly attracted to children, as we didn't have them before we procreated.
 

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Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
I'm sure there's a mean goblin in the kitchen cupboard which pops out at night after I've gone to bed. Not sure what he does exactly but the floor is often littered with crumbs in the morning when I get up. The other morning there were bits of onion skin on the floor.

I've frightened it with my new Roomba vacuum cleaner but there;s still sometimes stuff on the floor. I live alone and having asked myself if I am responsible for this, the answer is no. So it has to be a goblin.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Our house is haunted - you can tell by the many areas of unearthly cold. On mildly breezy days a poltergeist moves in and randomly flings door open. A vengeful water sprite lives in the roof. The pot troll spends its time in the lower kitchen cupboards, mainly hiding the saucepan lids, while the nixie works the upper ones, smearing jam on the shelves. Picnicking sidhe ensure a steady supply of crumbs, grounds, peel etc in the kitchen and scullery while the mermaid looks after the regular reapplication of grime in the bathroom and a particularly flocculent brownie sheds over all the other rooms.
 

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Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
Some troublesome spirit opens my freezer drawer slightly during the night so i have to take out anything that has defrosted - luckily it is so tightly packed that most suff is still frozen.

Then again, maybe i slam the door so hard that it bounces open again.

There is also a sprite who steals table knives and hides them in a black hole.
 

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Posted by lily pad (# 11456) on :
 
At last, an explanation for why I only have three forks but twelve of everything else.
 

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Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
We used to own a haunted VCR which used to turn itself on and rewind at the fastest possible speed.
Hair raising!
 

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Posted by cheesymarzipan (# 9442) on :
 
we used to have Fred, the invisible man who looks after my shoes while I'm not wearing them. He had a bad habit of standing in doorways and in random places where people would fall over him.
These days he is a bit better behaved, he generally stays in the hall next to the coats but every so often he wanders into the living room and I lose my shoes!
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
I'm blaming Caliban for his annoying habit of immediately removing and displacing things that I put down. He really seems to get into his own when I'm cooking. We play a little game sometimes called Hunt the Herb or Spice and I have to guess where in my kitchen he's concealed whatever I'm looking for. For whatever reason he also seems to like teaspoons. I know I have more than two.

I did outwit him the other day though, when I cleared out the kitchen cupbard and found three small bags of flour he didn't think I'd notice.

There's also something living in the microwave that groans when the microwave is turned on, and a kettle undine that doesn't like the water getting too hot, so will turn the kettle off every few seconds. And some kind of banshee living in the double glazing, who can really get going sometimes, and a house elf who keeps stealing my socks.

Other than that all is fine, really.

[ 15. December 2012, 15:09: Message edited by: Ariel ]
 

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Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on :
 
My dad used to tell us about the Cubbies, who lived (of course) in the cubby hole under the stairs.
 

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Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
We have the bread and goodies eating gremlins. Someone will buy loads of bread, or possibly some treats, but within a day or so, they will all disappear. I mean how does an entire loaf of bread disappear in 2 days? I only have a slice a day, usually. Our son always denies that he has eaten so much, and my wife wouldn't either, so clearly it has to be someone else.
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
We used to have a chocolate fairy. If anyone gave our children the sort of highly coloured sweets we didn't want them to have, they had to say thank you nicely and then later put the sweets into a special tin. The chocolate fairy would visit overnight and replace the sweets with chocolate buttons!
 

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Posted by Surfing Madness (# 11087) on :
 
As a teenager I worked in the church coffee shop. Myself and the other teenage Saturday staff, use to blame all sorts of things on Jo(e) the resident ghost. So named because Jo(e) could be male or female. Jo(e) had a particular talent for moving keys!
 

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Posted by mrs whibley (# 4798) on :
 
According to my husband, there are little people who come to the house in the night, move things about, and then put them back in exactly the same places. Very occasionally they make a mistake and can be detected!
 

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Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
We used to have a chocolate fairy. If anyone gave our children the sort of highly coloured sweets we didn't want them to have, they had to say thank you nicely and then later put the sweets into a special tin. The chocolate fairy would visit overnight and replace the sweets with chocolate buttons!

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May I have her if you are done?
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I miss the Tooth Fairy. Steady source of income when I was four or five. Though I remember I tended to spend her largesse on sweets which probably didn't help. Me, I mean.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
As my Mum was from Bury, Lancashire, missing and misplaced objects were attributed to "Inky". Inky was especially fond of cake and biscuits and was inclined to leave stuff lying around (especially Lego blocks in dark corners). Inky was a litter lout before the term existed.
 

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Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
We know the name of our house spirit. It's Granny, my mischievous maternal grandmother. She's particularly fond of moving, then replacing buttons, pens and spices. She really likes to pick on my mother.

Often, Mom will place a small item that she's using on the kitchen countertop. She will turn aside to do another chore, and when she comes back, the item is gone. After searching the area, Mom searches the rest of the house, thinking that she must have carried the item and forgotten about it. Invariably, when she returns to the kitchen, the small item is there, right where she left it.

And I can hear Granny snickering in the recesses of my mind!
 

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Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :
 
Anything goes missing or found on the floor, we blame it on the cat. Not, of course, the regal Amber who wouldm't even consider such a thing, but on Safadin the smidgen puss who's really a bit of a brat. And if we can't find anything on a Thursday evening or Friday, we usually blame the wonderful lady who does some cleaning for me - her view on where things belong isn't always ours.
 

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Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :
 
My fridge groans as if it's too full even before the weekly big shop, also I have a a mysterious ghostly breeze that whistles past my bits and bobs when I'm in the bath despite closed windows and tiled walls.

Re: the phenomenon of disappearing socks. The New Scientist reckons socks are the larval form of clothes hangers. I think there's definitely important work to be done in this area.
 

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Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
... a mixture of sodium chuffate and dinotrogen fartoxide ...

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I'm surprised no-one's yet mentioned the Sock Gremlin. He commutes between the washing-machine and tumble-dryer and removes at least one sock per laundry load (one sock belonging to each of us if he's feeling malevolent), thus rendering the game of Post-Laundry Sock Pelmanism unwinnable.

If he's in a really bad mood, he'll plant a paper hanky in the pocket of a pair of trousers just after you've turned the washing-machine on.
 

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Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Too late for an edit:

I've just re-read the OP, which begins with the Sock Goblin ...

I was so busy falling about laughing at KLB's dinitrogen fartoxide.

[ 17. December 2012, 02:55: Message edited by: piglet ]
 

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Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :
 
Then there is the sprite (probably a sort of Pookah, actually) who lives in the fridge and has the job of turning the light on when the door is opened. But in his more malevolent moods, he slides leftovers to the back, where they are forgotten until they grow into monstrous chimeras of blue, black and green fuzz, and no one can remember their original state.
 

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Posted by Not (# 2166) on :
 
My cooker is posessed by a malevolent oven timer banshee who sets the timer so it screeches out in the small hours of the morning causing heart failure and the need to stumble down two flights of stairs in the dark.
 

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Posted by Earwig (# 12057) on :
 
I've got sewing sprites. They always hide my needle when I'm in the middle of my embroidery - after I've looked for it for HOURS, they tuck it in a fold of my jeans. It can't be me, who'd be daft enough to use their won clothes as a pincushion.

And the other night, my embroidery hoop went missing. I'd put it down while I ate my dinner on my lap. The sprites had carefully tucked it between my plate and the tray on my lap. Little pests.
 

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Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by piglet:
Too late for an edit:

I've just re-read the OP, which begins with the Sock Goblin ...

I was so busy falling about laughing at KLB's dinitrogen fartoxide.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
We have the bread and goodies eating gremlins. Someone will buy loads of bread, or possibly some treats, but within a day or so, they will all disappear. I mean how does an entire loaf of bread disappear in 2 days? I only have a slice a day, usually. Our son always denies that he has eaten so much, and my wife wouldn't either, so clearly it has to be someone else.

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quote:

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Originally posted by georgiaboy:
I have a house-office golin/sprite/pookah who has developed a fascination with the printer attached to my computer.

He will turn on the printer and activate whatever control pumps up the ink and spins the paper-feed rollers for several seconds.

He does this only (so far as I can tell) between 3 and 4 am, and only once or twice a week.

And all this without powering up the computer itself.

I haven't figured out how to explain this to The Geek Squad™

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quote:

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Originally posted by Ariel:
I'm blaming Caliban for his annoying habit of immediately removing and displacing things that I put down.

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You might want to keep an eye on the drinks cabinet, given the two piss artists he seems to drag round. Mind you, if you can't smell horse piss, you're probably OK...

I think we are on one end of a wormhole. Both of us find stuff in that flat that we're damn sure neither of us brought in. Just so long as the Klingons don't try to use it.

AG
 

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Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Morlader:
Suggest you power down your printer at same you shut down your computer.
(My previous printer was possessed of the same sprite. My new one might have got infected too, but it's so quiet, I wouldn't know).

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quote:

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Originally posted by leo:

quote:

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Originally posted by Morlader:
Suggest you power down your printer at same you shut down your computer.
(My previous printer was possessed of the same sprite. My new one might have got infected too, but it's so quiet, I wouldn't know).

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My printer has an opposite behaviour. It will sometimes stall while printing and nothing seems to restart it. I have sometimes gone three days and then, all of a sudden, the logjam clears itself and it prints the remainder - often at night.

If I need anything printing by a deadline, I always print it the day before so that, if it stops working, I can go and use a friend's computer and printer.

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