Ship of Fools: Getting to know you, at Church

Thread: Getting to know you, at Church Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Percy B (# 17238) on :

Our church has quite a few people who do not know others in the church. Sometimes, of course, people don't want to mix, and that's OK.

However we'd like people to get to know others and we would like to facilitate this.

The congregation has quite a high degree of transience.

We want to build up Christian community and fellowship as an aim in 2013.

Does your church face this problem too?

How do you, or would you, tackle it?

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

What sort of church building and meeting/service do you have?

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

The church isn't a membership club.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

At most Friends [Quaker] Meetings there are appointed Doorkeepers whose task it is to welcome people as they arrive - it's far easier to meet people then than afterwards when they are intent on beetling off. If people are met and greeted properly there is more chance of interaction after Meeting/Service/Mass or whatever.

Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :

I go to a large church and that in itself can be a barrier to getting to know people. Here's a couple of things that might help in building a sense of community:
Community service - obviously this will depend on your size and demography. For instance, we have an annual weekend were church members go to a local estate and tidy it up, help the elderly repair fences etc. volunteers are assigned to teams so a good way of mixing people up. perhaps a church decorating project might be a start?
Social get togethers - themed events are good for us, also quiz nights, picnics etc.
Special interest groups - hobbies etc. I really want our church to start a textiles group and have found someone else who is also keen. Might be my project for the year.
Rotating coffee teams. My church bases the welcome team and coffee rota on the bible groups but re-organising these teams can build friendships. Obviously reliant on numbers and personalities though.

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

A church weekend away is a great way for people to get to know one another. At my church, we have an annual pilgrimage to Walsingham, but if that's not your thing, then there are plenty of retreat houses or Christian conference centres that can lay on a parish weekend.

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
The church isn't a membership club.

Rather than derail this thread, I've responded to that here

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
The church isn't a membership club.

True, but fellowship matters - or we'd simply stay at home to worship.

Posted by Dinghy Sailor (# 8507) on :

Get everyone to wear name badges one Sunday. You can invent an excuse if you want - maybe it's a 'newcomer Sunday' so the badges are for the aid of the friends that people are supposed to bring along. However, the extra effect is that people will be able to note the names of everyone who they avoid because they don't feel their name, and feel too embarrassed to ask after all these years.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
True, but fellowship matters - or we'd simply stay at home to worship.

Interesting - maybe this is more of an Anglican thing than a Catholic thing. In my experience church has almost always been simply a building where you went for the service. The few social groups there were mentioned on the noticeboard tend to be things like lectio divina, the Mothers' Union, St Vincent de Paul Group and so on.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
maybe this is more of an Anglican thing than a Catholic thing. In my experience church has almost always been simply a building where you went for the service.

Yes there are different concepts of what going to church is all about. For some it's for the individual goer to be served by the clergy in their unique role -- whether presiding at Eucharist or preaching the Word.

Others of us are taught regularly by clergy that church is not a building, it's not the clergy, church is the people, and learning to know and value and respond to each others needs and joys is an important aspect of being a church.

And others think people getting together to worship God at one specific time matters to God even if all the same worship behaviors can as easily take place in separate homes.

(And others think -- what am I missing?)

Posted by Ultracrepidarian (# 9679) on :

We have been having a monthly meeting in the church building called 'Getting to Know You', where one member of the congregation gets up and gives a little talk about there life story, which is then followed by cheese and wine. It's been a nice way to get to hear some of the stories behind the faces that you see week on week. I like the way that the presentations haven't had much in the way of 'conversion stories', but have just touched on people's faith journeys in the context of the rest of their lives to date. Also, it's been fascinating to hear about the wide range of experiences that people have had, from being a school sports master in the 70s and 80s, to being an actress doing reps in London in the 50s and 60s.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ultracrepidarian:
a school sports master in the 70s and 80s.

Plenty to repent of there, then.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
The church isn't a membership club.
True, but fellowship matters - or we'd simply stay at home to worship.

Depends what you mean by 'fellowship'. if you mean chatting to people about quotidian stuff, then that isn't what the New Testament understands by it.

If you mean sharing in Holy Communion, then that is why you can't do church on your own a home.

In an ever splintering society, it isn't hard to understand why people want their churches to create a sense of community. It follows, however, that people use their rotary clubs or whatever to do the same. Church then becomes one ' lifestyle choice' among many.

I think it is highly dangerous, to mission, for the church to replicate membership clubs because, thereby, it signs its/her own death warrant.

Maybe, to the OP, church 'members' could get to know each other by working on a common project for evangelisation - joining a campaign group like Amnesty and having letter writing evenings, for example.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:

quote:
Originally posted by Ultracrepidarian:
a school sports master in the 70s and 80s.
Plenty to repent of there, then.

Depends on the school, surely? [Devil]

Mind you, all sports masters are, by definition, evil in my book. Especially when it's raining and they gleefully announce a Cross-country Run.

[ 28. December 2012, 15:17: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

A very interesting thread, may I thank the posters. It fits neatly into the strategy I am working on for a suburban church.

Firstly may I state up front that there are some people who don’t want to be joiners. It is usually quite easy to identify them and leave them be.

But a key problem in modern society is isolation that can trend into loneliness. Isolation can be psychological rather than physical. This is in the sense that you may meet many people but there is no one you can really talk to. I would bring attention to two particular groups. 1) Men who don’t tend to share. 2) Elderly, especially the widowed whose families now often live too far away to visit regularly.

It is a particular problem in the suburban church because of the ‘everyone else seems to be having a good life but me’ syndrome that is prevalent in those leafy suburbs.

May I share a few experiences that may be helpful? Greeters are of course necessary but too often are seen as just people who hand out hymn books. What I have found is that you need to do an ‘encounter’ after the service (a horrible expression but cannot think of another).

A minister should make sure they speak to the person, as they may have a pressing problem. This is the reason that they have come to the church on that day.

Plus I do introductions, I talk to the person find out a bit about them then introduce them to someone with a similar background or interests.
You need to identify the people that are genuinely good with people and genuinely interested in people who don’t impose their views. Introduce the newcomers to these.

I remember a new family who joined the church just because they met a ninety year old lady was so ‘nice’. Similarly, you need to steer any newcomers away from the church bores.

The second experience is don’t jump on the person to find them a job in the church.

Please keep the postings coming - really usefull.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

Thinking of specific churches.

1. Church oriented groups. Altar guild, choir. I've never been in a choir that went for a beer after, a head of altar guild tried to have a party for the altar guild but almost none came. These task-focused groups have not been good ways to develop relationships.

One church has a quarterly work party to fix up the building and grounds, these include lunch, so there is an intentional social aspect.

2. Coffee hour. In one church there's a coffee after each service, with lots of nibble food like grapes and cheese -- lots of tables and chairs available, lasts 45 minutes to an hour.

In another church has one coffee between two of the three services, the goal is people from all three services will mix instead of being separate congregations, so there is no coffee after the 11 o'clock.

Mostly coffees are people who already know each other chatting together, but the longer ones have time to also gradually get to know others.

3. Study/prayer groups. If regular and highly participatory, people start to get to know each other. If they are dominated by a teacher or DVD, little interaction means not much chance of making friends.

4. Social service. One churches has a knitting/crocheting group making hats for premies, prayer shawls, etc., to be given away. Another has a monthly "fix up a poor person's house" group, they build a ramp for someone who needs a wheelchair, or build a roof for a house that has no roof (one man's roof was just a tarp).

4. Meal gathering. Most churches have a monthly meal social. In one church it's Foyer (groups of 10 to 12 at rotating homes), in another church it's 20 to 35 together at a restaurant but only married couples may attend. I know a church where 20 or 30 go out to eat together after church but it's not an official church function so it's not announced, you have to find out about it word of mouth.

5. Parties. A lot of churches do a one combined service and pot luck on 5th Sundays, some with special "entertainment" which could be a slide show of the activities of the year or could be the children choir singing. Some churches do Valentine's Day and other holiday social gatherings.

6. Targeting newcomers. One church has a "newcomers committee" which plans a social 3 times a year to which newcomers receive a mailed personal invitation and selected church members of parallel demographic are asked to come. The idea, an afternoon of interactive fun ("ice breaker" games), with some "people like you."

A different church has a required "newcomers class," 8 weeks of Sunday afternoons learning what the clergy gal calls "how we do things around here." Very interactive. By the time they all join the church in a group ceremony, they are good friends with their "class." (But I know people who left because they don't like that barrier to joining.)

I've met churches that do a monthly newcomers supper, I don't know if newcomers are invited once or for 6 months. For shy people, it takes more than one meeting to make connections.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

We have at least one person whose ministry it is to do intentional introductions and linkups. So X will chat with Y, discover that Y is looking for a job / apartment / person to discuss Star Trek with, and then say, "hey, I know somebody who might be able to help / is in the same boat / etc" and takes them over to chat at coffee. After the new conversation is going like gangbusters, X slips away.

Rinse, repeat, until you've got a zillion cross connections.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
We have at least one person whose ministry it is to do intentional introductions and linkups. So X will chat with Y, discover that Y is looking for a job / apartment / person to discuss Star Trek with, and then say, "hey, I know somebody who might be able to help / is in the same boat / etc" and takes them over to chat at coffee. After the new conversation is going like gangbusters, X slips away.

Rinse, repeat, until you've got a zillion cross connections.

Interesting, we are talking about having "coffee shepherds" to notice who is not chatting with anyone, go chat with them and then get them introduced to someone with some similar interests. No volunteers yet to be shepherds, but the idea is very new. Takes someone who knows a lot of people and is naturally outgoing about starting a conversation with a stranger.

Posted by Bagpuss (# 2925) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Dinghy Sailor:
Get everyone to wear name badges one Sunday. You can invent an excuse if you want - maybe it's a 'newcomer Sunday' so the badges are for the aid of the friends that people are supposed to bring along. However, the extra effect is that people will be able to note the names of everyone who they avoid because they don't feel their name, and feel too embarrassed to ask after all these years.

I really like this - I am a curate at 2 churches and 6 months on there are loads of people I know by sight but do not have a clue who they are are - I would also add on the name badge Bob (married to Betty, Liz's dad) - I hadn't worked out several married couples until I bumped into them in the supermarket!

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

After church coffee!
Seriously, it's a good way to get to know people. We are quite fortunate in having a reasonably small church - so new comers are obvious - and a seperate church hall. New comers can be specifically invited over to the hall for coffee, and we have a couple of people who have the gift of talking to new comers and introducing them to others. At certain times of year they can then be invited to other things - such as the church bonfire night party - all fairly non threatening but a way of making people welcome, which is why most visitors have found us friendly.

Posted by Percy B (# 17238) on :

This is really helpful, thank you.

Some of the ideas are fantastic and I am sure we can think over them and adapt if necessary to our local situation.

One of our issues is a significant number of people coming from different countries, we have many different cultural backgrounds among us, and as I say transience is significant in this relatively under privileged area.

So I suspect its the here and now things to help us get to know each other that would help, rather than say an event / weekend too far away in time. Although I am sure it's both ... And... Rather than either...or...

Some of our people, especially one or two who live in the community with mental health problems crave companionship, and the presence of another.

I like the idea of becoming what we receive - a holy communion, and, for me, that means welcoming and accepting those who come through the door and worship with us, and allowing God to form us into Christian community where we are.

Posted by Percy B (# 17238) on :

PS

I would like to add, to clarify, our aim at helping people to get to know one another a little better is nothing to do with membership of a club. We are too diverse and transient to attempt that, even if we wished too.

We believe some of our people would benefit pastorally from the friendship they would receive from some of our people. And that would be two way.

This isn't about pastoral ministers or whatever, but simply about kindly words, simple friendship and what it can bring to someone new to our country, someone recently released from prison, someone relatively alone in the community with mental health issues.

And so our 'getting to know you' in a way encourages and supports mission.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Percy B:
One of our issues is a significant number of people coming from different countries, we have many different cultural backgrounds among us, and as I say transience is significant in this relatively under privileged area.

Could you get the members of the different cultural groups to give some sort of presentation showing some aspect of their culture? I don't mean anything like formal speeches, but performing music or dance, or describing how Christmas and other religious festivals are celebrated in their homelands. I think many people in the audience would find it very interesting and enjoyable.

Moo

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

Another advantage of having people managing social interaction at the coffee sessions and such, ‘coffee shepherds’, is that they get wired into all the chat and gossip.

Therefore they can then act as feedback, especially for the silent majority who only vote with their feet. “They don’t like the hymns”, “That sermon was good”, “Mrs Smith is having problems, worth a pastoral visit” etc.

It’s a sort of market research combined with an informal representative of the people role.

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
After church coffee!
Seriously, it's a good way to get to know people. We are quite fortunate in having a reasonably small church - so new comers are obvious - and a seperate church hall. New comers can be specifically invited over to the hall for coffee, and we have a couple of people who have the gift of talking to new comers and introducing them to others. At certain times of year they can then be invited to other things - such as the church bonfire night party - all fairly non threatening but a way of making people welcome, which is why most visitors have found us friendly.

It sounds like you've got it right. Sadly, too many churches get it wrong and simply think that "after church coffee" is all it needs to try and look welcoming. What happens all too often is that small groups of people who already know each other huddle together making it very difficult for newcomers to penetrate. All too often, they aren't even aware of this and, if asked, would describe themselves as a "welcoming" church and would be shocked and upset if the truth was pointed out to them.

[ 29. December 2012, 08:47: Message edited by: Spike ]

Posted by Ethne Alba (# 5804) on :

lots of interesting possibilities

guess i'd say: Keep it Simple.
There is nothing like an everso slightly desperate plea for people to meet and mingle... to put folk off altogether.

If you do go down the coffee after church route, could i suggest that easy going souls Only are allowed to wash up and lock up afterwards? There's nothing worse than having a lovely leisurely chat&brew interupted with Mrs Damp Tea Towel hovering and snapping " Have you finished with that yet, i've got a home to go to"
[Frown]

Posted by daisydaisy (# 12167) on :

Would decent coffee help too? And maybe the knowledge that there Is a biscuit or cake? Some churches offer sherry.

I like the idea of "coffee shepherds" - at so many after-worship coffees it's really difficult for a newcomer to get into conversation when there are huddles of people who already know one-another - although this still relies on the existing people to chat once the newcomer has been introduced (this can be a challenge).

Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :

I tend to agree with Spike. In my current parish, there are cliques.

For the cliques we have always with us.

But after a year of rearranging my schedule so that I could attend coffee hour (and snarling at little kids who return to the cookie trays many more times than is good for them [Big Grin]

), attending a few parish socials and fund raisers, as well as the annual meeting, I am no longer quite so invisible. And people do remember my name.

And I discover that I am missed when I am not there, too.

Posted by Pia (# 17277) on :

quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
[...] (and snarling at little kids who return to the cookie trays many more times than is good for them ) [...]

Aah! I see you've met my daughter... [Biased]

I really like the 'coffee shepherds' idea. I think where I go some people do this naturally (i.e. they are just good at noticing newcomers and striking up conversation) but it's a good idea, because for people who are shy the idea of drinking coffee alone among huddles of people who already know one another is a hideous one, but it can only take one friendly chat to make a huge difference. (Sez the voice of experience...!)

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

The coffee shepherds also evolve into people who grease the wheels subtly: the church ‘fixers’.

They know who needs a lift or who to ask if the church needs a favour. Plus ideal for passing on information or reminding people especially via the informal network.

You need at least two, as one can get bogged down with an individual and the other then takes over the circulating amongst the masses role.

On practical adman; do you have a master/mistress of ceremonies? Absolutely essential to take the pressure off the harassed celebrants.

Posted by geroff (# 3882) on :

Decent coffee is a novel concept for most churches.
Bagpuss - don't worry here we are two and a half years on and not knowing who goes with who.
We visited a church in London a few years ago and they had the flags of all the countries represented by their members hanging in the nave.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Spike:

quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
After church coffee!...
... What happens all too often is that small groups of people who already know each other huddle together making it very difficult for newcomers to penetrate. All too often, they aren't even aware of this and, if asked, would describe themselves as a "welcoming" church and would be shocked and upset if the truth was pointed out to them.

Shocked and aggressively deny it. People simply do not accept a report that their church failed to be welcoming to someone. For two reasons. 1. It's not their experience; when they walk into church or coffee they are warmly greeted (by their friends) so of course everyone is warmly greeted. 2. It's not what they want to think their church is like.

Really tricky to get through to people that the church is failing to be welcoming to some people, and get focused on what changes can be made to remedy that. If the problem is acknowledged it's likely justified "of course people are spending time with friends they haven't see all week!" instead of admission things could improve.

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

Post-mass coffee? [Disappointed]

Post-mass bacon butties. [Big Grin]

In all seriousness, even people who don't come and join in seem to find the fact that breakfast sandwiches are available welcoming and it provides a talking point to newcomers.

Also regarding food and people of other nationalities: themed dinner nights. We have had successful Spanish, Italian, Hungarian and even Tanzanian evenings that are very useful for inviting partners or friends who are not normally church-going.

I'd definitely agree with welcomers. They provide a good information point for those who are nervous of approaching the priest.

Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :

quote:
Originally posted by geroff:

We visited a church in London a few years ago and they had the flags of all the countries represented by their members hanging in the nave.

We also have many flags as we are a multi-national church. Themed nights have been helpful at introducing different communities to each other in greater depth and the food has also been excellent [Smile]

I'm liking this idea of coffee shepherds too.

Posted by mrs whibley (# 4798) on :

quote:
Originally posted by geroff:
Decent coffee is a novel concept for most churches.
Bagpuss - don't worry here we are two and a half years on and not knowing who goes with who.
We visited a church in London a few years ago and they had the flags of all the countries represented by their members hanging in the nave.

Re: Who goes with who. I've been in my church for about 5 years, and have only relatively recently got to know people outside my housegroup - mainly my own fault as I've kept myself to myself. Mostly I've now got to know people by doing church jobs such as coffee-making and welcoming with them - even though we're with the same people on the rotas every month there are so many swaps that I've got to know many more. Anyhow, a couple of months ago it was decided to expand the scope and size of the weekly intimation sheet. To keep printing costs under control it was decreed that couples/families should have one sheet between them (presumably even if they arrived separately because someone was parking/dropping off children etc.). Friends arriving together needed a sheet each. Therefore a certain amount of psychic ability was instantly required of the welcomers... Of course the people making this rule knew exactly who was married to whom [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Curious (# 93) on :

Never underestimate the importance of older congregational members in helping to get to know people.
In a previous congregation we had an older member with mobility difficulties. When she arrived at church she would look to see if there was anyone new, position herself near them and then ask them to help her to the communion rail. Very few people refused and she used it as a way into conversation after the service.
(Mind you, she also had a bit of an eye for any male newcomer......) [Biased]

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

On the name tags thing, really important that people see the "church leaders" wearing name tags. If the organist, choir director, Sunday school teacher, altar guild ladies, coffee hostess aren't all wearing name tags, few others will. People follow examples. "Everyone knows who I am" has to be visibly not a valid reason to not wear a name tag.

One church has a name tag rack at the entrance to the sanctuary. At the entrance to the coffee hall there's a big bowl to toss the name tag into. Someone during the week rehangs the tags in alpha order at the entrance to the sanctuary. Others keep their name tag in their car.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

YMMV, but I absolutely hate events where you have to wear name tags. I always take mine off and lose it as soon as I decently can.

I suppose it depends where you wear it but not everyone likes having a name tag on their chest and having people peer at it. (And if one of them is a creepy guy I especially don't want him knowing my name.) But as I said, YMMV.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I absolutely hate events where you have to wear name tags.

Where's Emily Dickinson when we need her so badly?

I don't like to wear them either. When people ask me why I don't wear one, I tell them it's a sin of pride.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I absolutely hate events where you have to wear name tags.
Where's Emily Dickinson when we need her so badly?

I don't like to wear them either. When people ask me why I don't wear one, I tell them it's a sin of pride.

I would suggest that those who have some role at the meeting wear badges, showing their name and their role. Rude remarks about coffee/music/flowers will be less likely to be made to those who could take offence.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

I think there may be a pond difference with name tags, it seems to be something that the American side of the pond is more comfortable with.

I have never met a church congregation in England (I won't speak for the rest of the UK) who would be comfortable with wearign labels..

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
I think there may be a pond difference with name tags, it seems to be something that the American side of the pond is more comfortable with.

I have never met a church congregation in England (I won't speak for the rest of the UK) who would be comfortable with wearing labels..

At an extended family reunion an uncle refused to wear a name tag in the grounds everyone knows him. I asked "do all the next generation's in-laws know you?" He put on his name tag.

The theory of the churches I've gone to is name tags help us associate name with face without the embarrassment of having to say "we've sat next to each other in church a dozen times and been in Bible class together but I don't remember your name." Picture directories serve a similar purpose. Apparently MANY people have trouble putting names and faces together, but it's socially unacceptable to admit "I don't remember your name."

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

The logic in what you say is undeniable, however getting most English congregations to wear name tags would probably be impossible...

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
The logic in what you say is undeniable, however getting most English congregations to wear name tags would probably be impossible...

We had our 40th Church anniversary recently and had visitors from far and wide - all were happy to wear name labels.

[Smile]

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

A special event is not the same as a weekly service though..

Posted by Dinghy Sailor (# 8507) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
A special event is not the same as a weekly service though..

No, but the original suggestion of name tags (by me) was for a special event. You don't need them every week, just every once in a while so that people can make a point of targeting all the people they embarrassingly don't know.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Dinghy Sailor:

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
A special event is not the same as a weekly service though..
No, but the original suggestion of name tags (by me) was for a special event. You don't need them every week, just every once in a while so that people can make a point of targeting all the people they embarrassingly don't know.

True - Sorry I'd been replying to this post by Belleringer.

quote:
On the name tags thing, really important that people see the "church leaders" wearing name tags. If the organist, choir director, Sunday school teacher, altar guild ladies, coffee hostess aren't all wearing name tags, few others will. People follow examples. "Everyone knows who I am" has to be visibly not a valid reason to not wear a name tag.

One church has a name tag rack at the entrance to the sanctuary. At the entrance to the coffee hall there's a big bowl to toss the name tag into. Someone during the week rehangs the tags in alpha order at the entrance to the sanctuary. Others keep their name tag in their car.

Posted by geroff (# 3882) on :

Rather than name tags have job tags - or even just coloured tags. You can then have a note on your service sheet or at the door saying "if you need help or have a question ask someone who is wearing a yellow badge".
This strikes me as a typical Anglican compromise but hey..

Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :

Our welcome team and whoever is leading the service wear pink lanyards and this is pointed out during the notices. We also have welcome packs for visitors who feel brave enough to put their hands up during collection, this identifies visitors to the welcome team.
St Helen's had a welcome desk and it was a popular point, especially in the summer when people came looking for the accommodation book. I recruited housemates there who went on to be good friends. But this was a big church with an evening service full of young singles so that made things far easier as we constantly had new people.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
St Helen's had a welcome desk and it was a popular point, especially in the summer when people came looking for the accommodation book.

What is an accommodation book? Sounds like the church is helping people find housing?

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by geroff:
Rather than name tags have job tags - or even just coloured tags. You can then have a note on your service sheet or at the door saying "if you need help or have a question ask someone who is wearing a yellow badge".
This strikes me as a typical Anglican compromise but hey..

Even more Anglican -- we do both. Vestry members have one color name badge, Ushers another, Outreach and Fellowship Committees each have their own. But... nobody remembers to wear them.

Posted by Percy B (# 17238) on :

Name badges, coffee stewards, welcomes, weekends away, ...

I have found the suggestions and thoughts SO helpful. THANK YOU.

I wonder if there are any specific social events, away from worship, which you have found helpful in drawing people together? We sometimes find social events attract a certain few and no others, and so can be in danger of being counter productive in uniting a disparate people.

Posted by Evangeline (# 7002) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Percy B:
Name badges, coffee stewards, welcomes, weekends away, ...

I have found the suggestions and thoughts SO helpful. THANK YOU.

I wonder if there are any specific social events, away from worship, which you have found helpful in drawing people together? We sometimes find social events attract a certain few and no others, and so can be in danger of being counter productive in uniting a disparate people.

One church I know of has a catch up for a cuppa month. During one particular month people from church invite 2 or 3 others over for coffee. I gather that it is co-ordinated to make sure to include everyone especially newcomers. I think it's a good low key thing to do to forge some bonds between members of the congregation.

Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on :

Being Methodist, our church has an annual Covenant Service at the beginning of January. This year's will be on Sunday. This is when we renew our commttment to God, as the Methodist year starts on New Year's Day. Anyway, after the service we have a free 'family meal' for all church members.

We've also had some social gatherings to raise funds, sch as a Christian Aid quiz. People may be more likely to attend a quiz, as it gives them something specific to talk about and it's for a good cause.

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :

We run a CAMEO (Come and meet each other) lunch after the morning service every so often, often with entertainment, but sadly it tends to be poorly attended by the majority of church members. Those of us who do go have a good time. It's a bring and share lunch but with one person responsible for ensuring that there's something hot in a pot so that there's plenty to eat.

I like name badges for the very reason that has been mentioned before - they remove that embarrassment when you meet someone for the second, third, fiftieth time and haven't quite grasped their name yet. Trouble is, people tend to be reluctant to wear them. It's a funny thing - people simply don't like being labelled with their name. But if you can persuade everyone that it is a good idea, I think it breaks down loads of barriers, especially if you're in an area where people come from a variety of ethnic backgrounds and may have very unfamiliar names which are initially hard to pronounce or to remember. Seeing it written down helps.

Social evenings are really good for getting to know people, as are trips away. And our church holds a family day (which isn't really for families, it's for the church family, but actually primarily for the adults, so that's something which needs working on!) where we discuss issues affecting the church family (one year it was based around how we cater for young people, the following year on how to promote a multi-cultural welcome). In those environments, where you tend to talk in smaller groups, it's easier to get to know people individually and to form a sort of bond, even if you don't agree.

Posted by Taliesin (# 14017) on :

quote:
I wonder if there are any specific social events, away from worship, which you have found helpful in drawing people together? We sometimes find social events attract a certain few and no others, and so can be in danger of being counter productive in uniting a disparate people.

Absolutely, what's really crazy is when you get the same gang of supportive people turning up to support the event, and no one else...

This summer I held an open mic night, which was genuinely open - the major drawback is that my motivation for making it happen was a mission, and the mission aspect was a bit horrible - the lead mission guy was embarressingly insistant on his sin and repent-before-it's-too-late message. Anyway, it was great that the stalwart supporters turned up, but also my non-christian friends, and people from the local comumnity who loved having the opportunity to sing into a microphone to the most uncritical and supportive audience. We provided a ploughman's supper and unlimited tea coffee and soft drinks, and it was a good social event. I had prepared a certain amount of live music, and we had a CD player for when people wanted a break. The local people have expressed an interest in knowing when 'the next one' is... so I'm working towards a monthly barn dance with an open mic slot in the middle.
I'm looking forward to it.

[ 01. January 2013, 09:25: Message edited by: Taliesin ]

Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:

quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
St Helen's had a welcome desk and it was a popular point, especially in the summer when people came looking for the accommodation book.
What is an accommodation book? Sounds like the church is helping people find housing?

St Helen's Bishopsgate evening service has about 400 people, mostly singles in their 20s and 30s as it is in the city of London. So it's turnover is high as they move into and out of London for studying, first jobs etc. It runs a busy accommodation book where people advertise for Christian flat mates. Hanging around the welcome desk there gives you a potential supply of new friends when you are just arrived in the city. Obviously your average church isn't going to have these huge numbers but a welcome desk is a good place to keep information on all sorts of social things such as church events, accommodation, etc.

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

PercyB – in response to your query. Films are a good way of drawing people together. The Christian themed films that are difficult to hire. Coffee and cake after (note the cake element). People just love giving their opinion about a film.

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :

Speaking as a lifelong Methodist, I think it important to say that it is essential that any "getting to know you" type activity definitely needs to include coffee and cake, at the very least.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

Speaking as a lifelong Episcopalian... our newcomers' receptions always involve wine and cheese.
[Big Grin]

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

If you are crafty you can sow the seeds of competitive cake baking.

May the Good Lord forgive me for making such a cynical suggestion...but it works!

Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on :

I must confess that name tags would horrify me - when I first moved in with my parents I tried the local charevo church and at the start of the service, the leader introduced me to the rest of the congregation by name [Ultra confused]

I never returned.

Posted by redunderthebed (# 17480) on :

We have a shared lunch after the service that seems as a newbie to my congregation work well in getting to know people.

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
I must confess that name tags would horrify me - when I first moved in with my parents I tried the local charevo church and at the start of the service, the leader introduced me to the rest of the congregation by name I never returned.

At my old church we used to introduce visitors as part of the church notices. This seemed to work in our setting. Speaking personally, I'd rather be introduced to the congregation this way than have strangers come up to me as soon as I walk in and ask me what my name is. For some reason, I always find this intrusive.

Different things seem acceptable in different kinds of churches. A charismatic church that just left visitors alone wouldn't really be living up to its tradition, ISTM. However, when I visit a traditional Anglican church, I'm happy to be left in peace!

Posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger (# 8891) on :

And then there's the issue of people without name tags insisting they should have one:

"If <insert role here> warrants a name tag then so does <insert role here>.

That could keep a church meeting going for days....

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

I sat next to a new lady at Church today - she had been to a couple of funerals and decided to give us a try. I made sure I learned her name and introduced her to folks.

It's very unusual for us to get folk walk through the door 'uninvited'.

ETA - I was VERY pleased that our minister was able to say 'This is an open table, all are invited to communion'. That's just how it should be.

[Smile]

[ 06. January 2013, 16:30: Message edited by: Boogie ]

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

We do get a lot of visitors in our church (the CofE is well known as a place where people can turn up fairly anonymously if they so choose - especially the larger more cathedral-like churches). Some of these visitors will stay and join the church, others are just passing through. But it is very much on their terms.

However, I also belong to the U3A, where it is normal practice at the large monthly meetings for everyone to wear a name tag. This is membership only, unless you wear a badge saying 'Visitor', and you have to pay to be a member. The emphasis is quite different.

Posted by Pia (# 17277) on :

Just popping in to share an idea I came up with tonight for our 'coffee hour' and which people seemed to like.

We have a number of small square 'cafe-style' tables. The maximum number of people that can sit around any one is four. If four people sit around every table during coffee hour, it's impossible for others to move around the room.

I suggested we simply push some of the tables together to form fewer, larger tables. People who need to sit can still do so, but more space will be created, and with larger tables it's harder to sit just with your own family or the two or three people you know and/or always talk to, so hopefully more new conversations will strike up. Well, that's the theory, anyway...

Just a thought! [Smile]

Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on :

quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:

quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
I must confess that name tags would horrify me - when I first moved in with my parents I tried the local charevo church and at the start of the service, the leader introduced me to the rest of the congregation by name I never returned.
At my old church we used to introduce visitors as part of the church notices. This seemed to work in our setting. Speaking personally, I'd rather be introduced to the congregation this way than have strangers come up to me as soon as I walk in and ask me what my name is. For some reason, I always find this intrusive.

Different things seem acceptable in different kinds of churches. A charismatic church that just left visitors alone wouldn't really be living up to its tradition, ISTM. However, when I visit a traditional Anglican church, I'm happy to be left in peace!

I think part of my frustration with it is that it was like they wanted to claim me for their congregation immediately, instead of allowing me to just sample their church and see if it was right for me. In retrospect it wouldn't have been right for me anyway but it should have been up to me to decide. But like Chorister says, being able to be anonymous (or fairly anonymous) if one wishes, or just be passing through, is normal in the CoE. Some people want to be anonymous in church, and forcing them to be more social (particularly with shy/socially anxious people) doesn't make them want to stay.

Posted by bib (# 13074) on :

One of the problems at my church is that people form closed circles to converse during coffee after the service. This makes it very difficult for introverts and visitors to be included. I feel that the ministerial team should ask some of the regulars to move around and talk to someone they don't usually talk to. So often these regulars only ever talk to the same tight circle.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

We sometimes go into the church hall where there are tables and I've noticed a change in behaviour. When people stand around to drink coffee there is more mingling and mixing-and-matching; people are more likely to end up talking to a visitor. When we go to the tables, people tend to sit with their friends and even save seats for each other. A visitor would find it much harder to join in.

Seems like there's some fairly predictable group psychology going on. If you can observe and understand that, then that's half the battle won perhaps?

Posted by Pia (# 17277) on :

That's pretty much the exact same discussion we had last night, Chorister. Except that some people need the tables - if they have mobility problems, are partially sighted, have small children and not enough hands (!), want to feed a baby... The idea was that by making the tables larger at least their might be some exchanges between groups, and groups might then expand to include newbies, visitors, and so on.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
When people stand around to drink coffee there is more mingling and mixing-and-matching; people are more likely to end up talking to a visitor. When we go to the tables, people tend to sit with their friends and even save seats for each other. A visitor would find it much harder to join in.

My parents used to give cocktail parties and part of the intentional strategy was few chairs so people will stand and mingle. I've tried similar -- more people than chairs but scatter some chairs because elderlies need to sit. Whose the first to grab all the chairs? Kids.

Posted by ExclamationMark (# 14715) on :

quote:
Originally posted by bib:
One of the problems at my church is that people form closed circles to converse during coffee after the service. This makes it very difficult for introverts and visitors to be included. I feel that the ministerial team should ask some of the regulars to move around and talk to someone they don't usually talk to. So often these regulars only ever talk to the same tight circle.

If you have a team to greet people at the door, extend their duties to after the service. Get them to introduce people to one another, if such people want to be introduced.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

We had the same problem at a church I used to be a part of. The regulars arrived for coffee and sat with their friends in tight groups and ignored strangers.
The answer from congregation members was basically that they hadn’t seen their friends all week and this was their time to see their friends.
We discussed removing the table but the elderly people said that they would not be able to come for coffee then as they couldn’t stand up.
Basically the only people who used to talk to newcomers was the church officials
The problem hadn’t been solved up to the time I left

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

But what is wrong with church officials talking to the newcomers? They are ideally placed, I would have thought.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

They are--but their outreach is often discounted by the newcomer as soon as he/ she finds out that they are there in a "professional role", as it were. Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.

Posted by Sergius-Melli (# 17462) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
They are--but their outreach is often discounted by the newcomer as soon as he/ she finds out that they are there in a "professional role", as it were. Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.

The few times that I have managed to talk to a newcomer I have had the reaction you describe, they instantly think that I will want them to do things and be involved straight away...

Somehow my Sacristan duties before and after services means that the first instance I get to meet any newcomer is when they come to the Altar for Communion, then they get labelled by me according to their receiving style (as are many of the regulars who I can never remember the name of...)

I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home... there is very little community in our Parish it is rather sad... [Waterworks]

Posted by Holy Smoke (# 14866) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
...I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home...

But I don't go straight home. I go to the nice friendly coffee bar round the corner...where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not feel like a c**t.

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.
The few times that I have managed to talk to a newcomer I have had the reaction you describe, they instantly think that I will want them to do things and be involved straight away...

Not just fear of being pushed to "get involved" but a more basic "you are talking to me only because it's your job." Which means the conversation's seeming offer of friendship is bogus.

But people do what they want to do. If regulars aren't greeting newcomers, it's because regulars don't cares if newcomers stay or go. Committees and policies won't change that. The questions is whether structures can influence behaviors. Name tags, coffee shepherds whose job is to get people introduced to each other (not to fake a conversation with a newcomer) are structures.

Newcomers groups so newcomers can get to know each other and form their own social group together may be far more valuable than I have realized. One common thought I hear from people who feel invisible in their church is they don't know how to find the others who aren't part of the deeply networked long-timers bunch.

Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Holy Smoke:

quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
...I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home...
But I don't go straight home. I go to the nice friendly coffee bar round the corner...where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not feel like a c**t.

And have nicer coffee too presumably [Big Grin]

In fairness to my church, the after-service coffee is pretty dire (I always have tea) but worth it for the company [Angel]

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
But what is wrong with church officials talking to the newcomers? They are ideally placed, I would have thought.

There is nothing wrong with church officials talking to newcomers. The problem is when they are the only ones, because they can’t keep on talking to the same newcomers every week,which means newcomers find it hard to make friends and become part of the church.

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
[The people at the church] wanted to claim me for their congregation immediately, instead of allowing me to just sample their church and see if it was right for me. In retrospect it wouldn't have been right for me anyway but it should have been up to me to decide. But like Chorister says, being able to be anonymous (or fairly anonymous) if one wishes, or just be passing through, is normal in the CoE. Some people want to be anonymous in church, and forcing them to be more social (particularly with shy/socially anxious people) doesn't make them want to stay.

Certainly, smaller churches of all persuasions can be off-putting when they try to heap attention upon newcomers. But I suppose some churches would be giving a false impression of themselves if they tried to be a 'hands-off' church if that's not what they really are.

In terms of personality type, it's been said that introverts are overrepresented in most congregations* so I suppose we need to allow for more extrovert congregations to exist that buck the trend. Introverts who want to worship charismatically without attracting any attention probably need to find a megachurch to attend.

*
http://65.54.113.26/Publication/57763314/psychological-type-profiles-of-churchgoers-in-england

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
They are--but their outreach is often discounted by the newcomer as soon as he/ she finds out that they are there in a "professional role", as it were. Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.

Interesting - I've often heard the opposite, that people like the leaders to take an interest in them, which makes them feel they count. Ah well, it takes all personality types....

Posted by Yangtze (# 4965) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
... the elderly people said that they would not be able to come for coffee then as they couldn’t stand up

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus: Except that some people need the tables - if they have mobility problems, are partially sighted, have small children and not enough hands (!), want to feed a baby...

We have elderly and disabled and those with children and babies and don't have chairs & tables. I shall now have to pay attention to see whether all the above leave or stay. I'm pretty sure they stay. Mind you we do have coffee at the back of church rather than a separate room so there are pews to perch on.

Doesn't necessarily solve the creating community thing though. When I first started going I spent months reading the noticeboards around the coffee area as everyone else (seemingly) stood in groups and chatted and ignored me.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

Yangtze it may be a good point you are making but the second quote is not something I said...

Posted by Pia (# 17277) on :

I am the source of the second quote.

In fact, it was noted in our discussion that when we do have coffee in the church, rather than in the hall (if, say, there's an event in the hall) it often seems livelier. However, there's a perfectly good kitchen in the hall and space for people to mingle, which makes it seem perverse to make the coffee there, put it into urns and cart it into the church. And there are certainly those who like to sit down. (Oh, and the hall is warm, which counts for a lot!) All of which is why I felt that the trick could be to use the hall in more creative ways.

I do recognise the 'reading the noticeboards' phenomenon, though. I've tried to take matters into my own hands by volunteering to help with things, so that I both get to know people better and have something to do to look busy if I start to feel uncomfortably un-talked-to.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. At my 'home' Meeting we used to have the coffee upstairs but now it is served downstairs in the Meeting Room itself and this is a lot easier. The Doorkeeper slips out at the end of Meeting for Worship to switch on the kettles in another room and by the end of the notices they have boiled and coffee/tea/whatever making commences.

Posted by Pia (# 17277) on :

That is a very interesting and useful insight, WW. Thanks!

Posted by Holy Smoke (# 14866) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Yangtze:
...When I first started going I spent months reading the noticeboards around the coffee area as everyone else (seemingly) stood in groups and chatted and ignored me.

Which makes a complete mockery of the service immediately preceding, or at least, that's how I'm starting to feel about it.

Posted by Sergius-Melli (# 17462) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Holy Smoke:

quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
...I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home...
But I don't go straight home. I go to the nice friendly coffee bar round the corner...where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not feel like a c**t.

What are these coffee bars of which you speak? They sound like devil sanctuaries from the city! I don't think any the coffee shops in town are open on a Sunday, unless you count the pub and M&S...?

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

There's a very useful coffee shop in my town, open on a Sunday. For those staying on for a church meal or meeting - with an hour between events, or for the 'Those who live alone' group to have their get-togethers, it's invaluable. I guess it's also used by churchgoers who would rather not have instant coffee out of a plastic disposable cup, but I've not done any research on that possibility.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. .

This was an issue in one church you had to go past an open door to get to coffee. So many people found it easier to slip out of the door rather than go through another barrier door and into coffee.

The blockers couldn't see this why woud you ahve coffee in the back of the church when there was an uncomfy coffee room.

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

Let me tell you of a recent experience of visiting a ‘strange church’.

It was the principle church in a big city. They told me that they attract many newcomers “but they don’t stay”. Now let me run through an elemental check list:

Welcomers: none, find your own hymn book as everyone to busy meeting friends.

Announcements about church social activities during the week and invitation to coffee after the service: none.

After the service: everyone stood around in friendship groups chatting, seemed to be mainly about cruises they had taken or were taking.

I was left to chat to another newcomer and find a coffee mug for him. Nice young student who was a refugee and preferred to speak in French, he won’t be coming back

Even worse.

Two services one in French tucked in at the unsociable hour of 9:30 with an overwhelmingly black congregation (probably Haitian). The main service at 11 am was only in English and the congregation overwhelmingly white. No possibility of socialising or coffee after the French service, as it would run into the English arrangements.

In this city 95% of the population speak French, 1.5 % speak English.

This is a really major church for the Anglican mission in Canada. I leave you to draw your own conclusion as to why they have problems.

Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. At my 'home' Meeting we used to have the coffee upstairs but now it is served downstairs in the Meeting Room itself and this is a lot easier. The Doorkeeper slips out at the end of Meeting for Worship to switch on the kettles in another room and by the end of the notices they have boiled and coffee/tea/whatever making commences.

Definitely a good point. Fortunately at my church the warmth of the hall compared to the church building is a good encourager [Big Grin]

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by poileplume:
Two services one in French tucked in at the unsociable hour of 9:30 with an overwhelmingly black congregation (probably Haitian). The main service at 11 am was only in English and the congregation overwhelmingly white. No possibility of socialising or coffee after the French service, as it would run into the English arrangements.

I've run into this problem, and it's a hard one to solve. For whatever reason two services got scheduled too close to each other. One would think the solution is move them further apart. But the 9:30 bunch say 9 is too early, and the 11 AM bunch say they can't push it later or they'll be too hungry to pay attention.

Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :

The obvious solution would be to combine the two services.

In our church the services, meetings etc are in both languages. In Canada we have a bi-lingual prayer book. In east Quebec visually all English speakers can speak French. In that city only 0.17% can’t speak French. So it’s easy.

So it’s not a question of can’t speak French but won't. It is the common phenomena of ‘it’s our church' and we keep out outsiders. Obviously it is not just language, that is a local phenomena – but I have seen the frequent cold shouldering in churches of those who are not ‘people like us’.

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. At my 'home' Meeting we used to have the coffee upstairs but now it is served downstairs in the Meeting Room itself and this is a lot easier. The Doorkeeper slips out at the end of Meeting for Worship to switch on the kettles in another room and by the end of the notices they have boiled and coffee/tea/whatever making commences.
Definitely a good point. Fortunately at my church the warmth of the hall compared to the church building is a good encourager

As long as you know where the church hall is of course...

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by JoannaP:

quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate.
Definitely a good point. Fortunately at my church the warmth of the hall compared to the church building is a good encourager
As long as you know where the church hall is of course...

That can be a problem. At a recent committee meeting a young mother said when her child was baptized, she had no idea there was a reception afterwards, no one mentioned going to the parish hall for coffee and cake, she saw people walk out the door and get in their cars so that's what she did, went home.

Problem of course is the old timers all knew baptisms are followed by receptions, why would you announce what "everyone knows"?

We now have a small sign outside the exit pointing to "parish hall." I think instead of "parish hall" it should say "coffee after church" because people from other denominations don't necessarily know what a parish is, or a parish hall. But at least there's a sign. Progress!

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