|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Divorce: a career-ending move?
|
orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
|
Posted
I've just reconnected with the music of an American Christian singer I came across and liked years ago, named Shawn McDonald. I think he only had one album when I'd previously heard him, which has extended out to four.
His website is really fairly typical, with lots of directed at selling his most recent album, but there were passages in the Biography section about his divorce that really brought me up a bit short.
Some relevant passages:
quote:
McDonald is concerned about how fans, retailers, and radio will react, but says he won't try to defend himself.
...
He says his label and management have supported him "and walked with me on this road" - but only once they were convinced that McDonald was doing everything he could to turn things around. They suggested that he step away from music for a while to sort things out. Even the new album, which has been ready for over a year, was indefinitely shelved. They wouldn't release it until they felt McDonald was making progress in working through his problems.
...
"We're putting our professional reputations on the line by continuing to stand behind him, but we believe he can safely go out now and facilitate his career."
There's more of a similar flavour. The essence is that in the world of contemporary Christian music, it seems as if having a failed marriage might be an indication of you being an evil person whose music shouldn't be listened to any more.
So to protect sales, you have to spend a lot of time in your press material emphasising that it was all very sad and everyone tried and you're terribly contrite.
I suppose American politics exhibits some of the same kind of flavour, although I don't know how much being repeatedly married genuinely hurt Newt Gingrich as opposed to being a source of amusing quips.
But I'm fairly surprised to see it in the context of music. Apparently a guy with a guitar and (in my opinion) a nice voice is supposed to be a role model - suggested in the bio again - and not just a singer/songwriter. The Christian music retailers might have stickers that say "WARNING: Contains Divorced Material".
Does anyone actually encounter people who think like this? Is divorce still seen as a reason to stop associating people, to avoid their businesses, not buy their products?
--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
|
Posted
It's all about brand image, isn't it? If you're being sold as the clean-living family man and faithful husband, then your fans might feel cheated if that's not what you turn out to be. People often fantasise about singers and that's what makes them stars, not just their musical skill. If the fantasy is destroyed, their popularity will be in jeopardy; and there's always someone else waiting to take their place.
I suppose the additional problem is that someone who's branded as a Christian musician (rather than a musician who happens to be a Christian) is doing more than simply providing entertainment; they're meant to be diffusing the gospel message. But the gospel has to be lived, not just sung about in pretty melodies.
I don't know this chap, but if all else fails, he can stage a comeback in a few years' time.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
kankucho
Shipmate
# 14318
|
Posted
I can't say I ever meet people who think like that. But presumably they must exist if his management is genuinely concerned that any significant percentage of his audience might be qualified to cast the first stone. Having listened with an outsider's ear to some of the tracks on his website, I can only say I hope he has a big enough following among those who appreciate 'the kind of brokenness that brings one Closer to God'. He deserves such a fan base. The other kind would probably be too thick (-skinned) to recognise themselves were he to subtly weave a song around Matt 7:1. If there's a real problem, the faith references in his lyrics are sufficiently low key to hold their own in the secular market. He could always chance his arm there.
--------------------
"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself" – Dr. Carl Sagan
Kankucho Bird Blues
Posts: 1262 | From: Kuon-ganjo, E17 | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anglican't
Shipmate
# 15292
|
Posted
To some extent, I suppose it depends on the nature of the divorce. Some people just drift apart for whatever reason and I'm much more sympathetic to that sort of person than a man who leaves his wife because she's got cancer, for example.
Co-incidentally, the headlines in Britain are dominated today by Chris Huhne. Mr Huhne was the Energy Secretary who left his wife for a younger woman. In revenge, Mrs Huhne decided to let slip that she took the rap for a speeding offence that he committed. Today he pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice and has resigned as a MP. So divorce for him has been career-ending in a particularly spectacular way.
Posts: 3613 | From: London, England | Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
|
Posted
Well, at least there's an element of consistency of approach, which is something to be said for their 'side' in the whole 'definition of marriage culture wars'.
--------------------
"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
|
Posted
Thinking of a particular Minister whose marriage broke down, I am minded to say "That was a good church to get divorced in" as the congregation was particularly supportive and understanding. It was not the end of said person's career although they did move to another ministerial appointment a bit later on.
I have no idea if the congo were as helpful to the spouse; I don't know many details of the split-up.
[ 04. February 2013, 14:00: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
GordonThePenguin
Shipmate
# 2106
|
Posted
I know of a professional director of music employed by the RCC in Germany who would probably have been dismissed had he not had his marriage properly annulled in addition to his civil divorce.
Posts: 401 | From: Heidelberg | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
TomOfTarsus
Shipmate
# 3053
|
Posted
I've been thorough 4 such crises. My parents separated (and eventually divorced) when I was 16. I nearly lost my own marriage 14 years ago, and we were separated for over a year. I've walked with my son through two divorces. FWIW, in the crisis in my marriage, I wasn't worth jack during that time, and had I been in a public position, I would have had to step out of the spotlight for a while. Thanks to good pastoral help and counseling, we are together and will remain so.
In any of these cases, the grief, the anger, the just plain insanity is some kind of difficult, and again, each involved a serious moral failing, otherwise known as "sin." So yes, I think it is good, if you are out there in public ministry, to step back, get the help you need, and Lord willing, you can come back in some form or another and bless us all with what you learned. We DO expect higher conduct from our public "ministers", and that is probably misplaced in the case of Contemporary Christian Musicians - Rich Mullins used to say "I know a lot of us and we don't know jack - if you want to be blessed, if you want to worship, if you want to become like Jesus, go to church!"
Nevertheless there was fallout in the careers of many CCM types in the states - Sandy Patty, Amy Grant & Gary Chapman, Michael English all had divorces, drug problems, etc, and Rich Mullins was noted as the only CCM performer who was memorialized in both the churches and the bars in Nashville... and he was a horrid chain smoker, never could kick it.
If I wait for perfect people to make make the music I love, I'll likely have a pretty long wait on my hands. Many times the best music, poetry, writing, etc comes out of great pain or trial.
But when you're all screwed up by sin and its fallout, it's probably good, if you can, to step out of the spotlight and get the help you need.
My 2 cents, or pence....
--------------------
By grace are ye saved through faith... not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ... ordained that we should walk in them.
Posts: 1570 | From: Pittsburgh, PA USA | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
|
Posted
I am a pastor. I was also divorced, 20-some years ago. Every job interview I have had in the last 20 years, I have had, at some point, to answer the question of my divorce, in much the same ways already mentioned-- to demonstrate that I "tried really hard" and am suitably sad about it and wasn't really at fault. I am probably fortunate in some perverse way that I was divorced for the "right" reason (spouse's infidelity), otherwise the conversation would be even longer and more complicated.
Like everyone, I've gotten some of those jobs I interviewed for and didn't get others. So my past divorce wasn't an absolute career-breaker. No way of knowing if it kept me from the jobs I didn't get or if it was something else.
I understand why the questions have to be asked. But it sucks, 20 some years later, to have to revisit again and again and again the worst time of your life. And it makes me feel stuck, like I'm forever that sad, abandoned, hurting 30-something single mother.
--------------------
"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
|
Posted
Re-married divorcé here. Never been in the position of ordained ministry since then and the only 'higher' church office I attained was in the congo where I had suffered the divorce and were fully aware of the circumstances (wife's infidelity). So I've never had to undergo the kind of ecclesiastical interrogation referred to above. I was however given a three-hour inquisition by the present Mrs B's Exclusive Brethren parents as to why a dovorced man should be permitted to marry their daughter!
--------------------
"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
