Ship of Fools: Slogans

Thread: Slogans Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

I love the power of the pithy. My favourite at the mo is from Australia's Al Jazeera-like news service SBS:

News from home if you live in the world

But a local pest destruction mob tickled my fancy with

All our patients die

Any around your neck of the woods?

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

The truck of a company that cleans out septic tanks had a sign on it, SHIT HAPPENS.

Moo

Posted by tessaB (# 8533) on :

We had a lovely one from a builders company called Patel
You've had the cowboys, now try the Indians

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

There was a barber's shop near where we used to live in Belfast whose sign read:

ED'S HEADS
Distressing Locksmiths

which I thought was much cleverer than the usual hairdressers' puns like "Curl Up And Dye" (there may have been one of them in Belfast too - I'm sure I've seen it somewhere).

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

A plumber advertised in the local newspaper where I lived many years ago: "The best place in town to take a leak."

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

my ex husband used to be in the US Army Corps of Engineers. the plumbers he worked with had the unofficial motto: "Your Shit Is Our Bread And Butter"

One Alaskan coffee roastery names it's various brews after locations in the state, among other things. Their Dead Man's Reach blend has the slogan, "Served In Bed, Wakes The Dead". Their company motto is "Alaska's Last Legal High"

Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :

A dry cleaners.

If your clothes aren't becoming to you, then they should be coming to us.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
my ex husband used to be in the US Army Corps of Engineers. the plumbers he worked with had the unofficial motto: "Your Shit Is Our Bread And Butter"

Our school kitchens had a similar motto. Just swap a couple of possessive pronouns around...

Posted by St. Stephen the Stoned (# 9841) on :

A skip hire firm in Bristol has a slogan:

All Our Efforts Go To Waste.

And there used to be a shop in Rotherham which had a sign reading:

We know your children are a joy to behold. Please be holding onto them in our store.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

My favourite whiskey shop has a notice:

Unattended children will be sold into slavery.

Posted by Wm Dewy (# 16712) on :

A convenience store / gas station / diner a little north of Indianapolis has a sign:

Eat here and get gas.

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

There's a scaffolding firm round here whose van reads

Make sure your next erection is in good hands

AG

Posted by St. Stephen the Stoned (# 9841) on :

There was a take-away in Bristol called Gobble-and-Go. Until somebody told them...

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Moo: The truck of a company that cleans out septic tanks had a sign on it, SHIT HAPPENS. Moo

A local company had lorries proclaiming "the motion is carried" and "the way to suck cess".

I also heard of a university archaeology department whose motto was "seek and destroy" and whose mascot was a mole with very large thick glasses and a pick and shovel over its shoulder. (By it's very nature, archaeology will destroy some levels of artifacts in order to uncover deeper levels, if that makes sense!)

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I think the feeblest I've ever seen was painted up in a shopping arcade in Stirling 40 years ago (and probably dated from an earlier period still -

You may get it at Menzies.

Or, there again, you might not.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

If you drink and drive, you're bloody idiot.

-accompanied by picture of an accident, put out by an auto insurance company.

Our aim is to keep this place clean, your aim would help.

-above the urinals in a men's pissoir.

Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :

Or,

We aim to please. You aim too, please.

Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

I guess there's always the recurrent

we don't swim in your dunny*, don't you pee in our pool

*this being OZ/NZ, of course ...

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Bishop's Move, better across the board (removals firm) is getting good publicity at the moment, expecially as they were the firm asked to move Justin Welby to his new home.

Posted by Jigsaw (# 11433) on :

A dry-cleaning shop (now closed) on Green Street near West Ham United's football ground had a sign "Don't Kill Your Wife - Let Us Do It".

Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :

At a building site near the local shops - Viagra Scaffolding.

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

While in Salt Lake City visiting our LDS kids, we visited a local brewery to sample Polygamy Porter, which bears the slogan, "why have just one?"

[ 02. February 2013, 01:27: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt advertising Maccabee Beer, brewed in Israel, and bearing the slogan "The Beer the Chosen People Choose."

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

This is more serious than the other posts on this thread.

After the Virginia Tech shootings, Nikki Giovanni wrote a poem which repeated the line, "We will prevail". Those words immediately appeared on signs all over town. At the same time, our church was plastered with signs saying, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it".

I had never before experienced slogans as helpful, but these two were invaluable to me. It was good to have these in my mind while I handled life by putting one foot in front of the other.

Moo

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

Local Real Estate parnership - "He sells, she sells, by the sea-shore.

Huia

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

Huia, that's brilliant. [Killing me]

The estate agent who sold us our house is in partnership with her husband, and their slogan is "Spouses who sell houses" - quite good, but not really in the same league.

[Overused]

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Carex:
Or,

We aim to please. You aim too, please.

I've also seen the sign,

"If you sprinkle
when you tinkle,
be a sweetie -
wipe the seatie."

Posted by ChaliceGirl (# 13656) on :

Not a slogan really, but a local proctologist has the web address fannydoctor.com

Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :

Also not a slogan, but it should have been: Channel 4 jumps on the Richard III bandwagon with its report on the camping and outdoor chain Blacks going into administration. Now is the winter of our discount tents.

Posted by Antisocial Alto (# 13810) on :

quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
While in Salt Lake City visiting our LDS kids, we visited a local brewery to sample Polygamy Porter, which bears the slogan, "why have just one?"

Oh yes - we visited Utah about 10 years ago and Polygamy Porter had the slogan "Take a few home for the wives" at that time :-)

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Seen yesterday on a maintenance van: 'We repair what your husband fixed'.

Bet most of their customers are women....

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

I just caught sight of a national builing contractor's slogan "Mainzeal -building certainty" in a local paper dated the same day as the company went into liquidation.

Some slogans aren't worth the paper they're wriiten on.

Huia

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

On holiday in Cornwall, I saw a flooring specialist van painted with the rather excruciating slogan:

'Luke Floorwalker - May the Floors be with you'.

Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :

Welsh National Opera's slogan used to be "Refreshes the ears other arts cannot reach"

(strictly for those who remember the old Heineken ads)

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

Or, to quote from Graffiti by Nigel Rees:

quote:
Hook Norton refreshes the parts Heineken daren't mention.

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