Ship of Fools: Acronyms

Thread: Acronyms Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

Someone at the head office of my place of employment doesn't know their internet acronyms. A couple of my bosses are going to a thing tomorrow for Financial Services and Markets, which they have shortened to FSM. I have been reading this all day as "Flying Spaghetti Monster", which by the sound of it would be considerably more interesting than what they're actually going to be talking about...

Equally most big law firms, with no sense of irony whatsoever, refer to "Business Services" (marketing and all that bla) as BS. This is not all that inappropriate. [Two face]

Any more (preferably real) abbreviations that you have come across?

Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :

Our Technical Director refers to 'S&M' a lot, but he means 'Support and Maintenance', not the 'other' meaning. [Big Grin]

Posted by TomOfTarsus (# 3053) on :

I go the other way. I see an acronym and try to make up something silly for it. I think we've even had Circus threads along those lines.

My son had to ride a bus for handicapped and seniors for a while, it was DART - Demand and Response Transit - but the long rides and circuitous routing (they once took 2 hrs. to haul him the 10 miles home) caused me to invent Delayed and Roundabout Transit - as well as move him to a different workshop with more amenable transportation options.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

Universities are great for these. I used to work in the Resource Allocation Team until it was renamed, and one of our other teams was called the Data Analysis & Reporting Team.

It's better not to dwell on the proposal (fortunately not put into practice) to call one department's website "Planning Office Online"...

Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :

Reminds me rather of the possibly apocryphal tale from a large multinational.

One of the methods of compound purification is by column chromatography. The suggestion was that we should finally put a very polar solvent through these columns to strip off any remaining organic matter, and evaporate off the solvent. The residue thus obtained would then be put through a screening assay to look for any biological activity. This was felt by the chemists to be something of a waste of time, and it was suggested that this be known as the Column Residue Appraisal Procedure...

[ 20. March 2013, 16:11: Message edited by: kingsfold ]

Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :

True story: our HR department prefers to refer to "short-term disability" as STD. When one of my colleagues was out on maternity leave, it was a little shocking to learn she had a STD.

Posted by Chapelhead (# 21) on :

I don't think the post exists any more, but the University of London used to have a Senate House Information Technology manager.

Posted by HCH (# 14313) on :

I ran into "PDFR", meaning "Pretty Damn Fine Rant". This may have been on the Ship.

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
Reminds me rather of the possibly apocryphal tale from a large multinational.

One of the methods of compound purification is by column chromatography. The suggestion was that we should finally put a very polar solvent through these columns to strip off any remaining organic matter, and evaporate off the solvent. The residue thus obtained would then be put through a screening assay to look for any biological activity. This was felt by the chemists to be something of a waste of time, and it was suggested that this be known as the Column Residue Appraisal Procedure...

State courts of appeal publish procedural rules, which are generally referred to as the (state) Rules of Appellate Procedure. Colorado was sharp enough to catch the possible bad acronym, and simply calls them the Colorado Appelate Rules. Connecticut? Not as sharp.

I always initial with my first (B), middle (R), and last (S) initial, to avoid writing the aforementioned B.S. all over legal documents.

[ 20. March 2013, 16:47: Message edited by: Og, King of Bashan ]

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

In the early 1940s, the Commander in Chief United States (Navy) had the acronym CINCUS. They changed the title when people started pronouncing it 'sink us'.

Moo

Posted by Jengie Jon (# 273) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Universities are great for these. I used to work in the Resource Allocation Team until it was renamed, and one of our other teams was called the Data Analysis & Reporting Team.

The only fault their Marvin is to think they are accidental or due to oversight.

I know that RATS service at my university was genuinely so named because of the acronymn. Mind you the academics that named their software NUD*IST were stretching it. The acronym stands for Non-numerical Unstructured Data Indexing Searching and Theorizing.

I must next time I am in work look up what c.r.a.p indicators stands for again.

Jengie

Posted by Morlader (# 16040) on :

In Cornwall during college "rationalisation" i.e. amalgamation, we almost had Camborne, Redruth and Pool College. But things moved fast and we now have Cornwall College.

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :

An academic journal which now (since January this year) has the dull but descriptive name of East European Politics used to have the much better (and snigger-worthy) name of Journal of Communist Studies and Transition Politics, affectionately known as JoCSTraP.

Posted by Kyzyl (# 374) on :

I've been a NUD*IST!

But if you want an example of stretching it, how about the working name/acronym of a project I'm on ... ROOS-TER or River to Ocean Observing System-Teacher Education Research!

[ 20. March 2013, 20:32: Message edited by: Kyzyl ]

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

Large physics experiments often name themselves with backronyms (pick an acronym, then figure out what it means). The largest general purpose detector at the LHC at CERN is called "ATLAS".

That would be "A Toroidal LHC ApparatuS."

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

no-one's yet mentioned TLA - which, of course, stands for Three Letter Acronym

Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
The only fault [there] Marvin is to think they are accidental or due to oversight.

True. My RL work is connected to workers' compensation injury cases. Our computerized case management system was intentionally named: "Scheduling, Case management, Accounting & Reporting System"--SCARS. (And, yes, I know it doesn't quite work).

quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
Large physics experiments often name themselves with backronyms (pick an acronym, then figure out what it means).

And sometimes they never do figure out what it means. I also used to do work with the U.S. Department of Housing & Urban Development. It had (and still has, as far as I know) a program called the HOME program. The thing is that, while HOME is always printed in all-caps, the letters don't actually stand for anything!! It just looks like an acronym.

Posted by John Holding (# 158) on :

I have been reliably informed that the medical acronym PID -- which is actually the short form for Peritoneal (?) Disease -- is routinely referred to by medical personnel -- out of patients' hearing -- as "Pus In Dere".

And many Canadians remember when the current governing party was first formed, as a union between the Conservative and Reform Alliance parties, the originally proposed name was the Conservative Reform Alliance Party. That lasted less than 24 hours.

John

Posted by Augustine the Aleut (# 1472) on :

I recall once having to persuade the Council of Arab Canadian Associations to alter their new name slightly.

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

Drs are now banned from writing TFBuNDY in patient notes (which stood for "totally fucked but not dead yet").

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
True story: our HR department prefers to refer to "short-term disability" as STD. When one of my colleagues was out on maternity leave, it was a little shocking to learn she had a STD.

If you get a doctorate in sacred theological from a pontifical university, you have an STD.

Computer scientists get pleasingly ironic with their acronymns. I'm not sure what it does, but there's some software called TWAIN (thing without an interesting name).

In my former life in math, I used to go to Appalachian Set Theory Workshops. I tried in vain to get them to change their names to Workshops in Appalachia, Set Theory, so as we could be clear that it was all a WAST of time.

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
Large physics experiments often name themselves with backronyms (pick an acronym, then figure out what it means). The largest general purpose detector at the LHC at CERN is called "ATLAS".

That would be "A Toroidal LHC ApparatuS."

There's also the database of Serials that the American Theological Library Assocation keeps: ATLAS.

I forgot about the Southampton Undergrad Maths Society: SUMS.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Hedgehog:
[qb]Computer scientists get pleasingly ironic with their acronymns. I'm not sure what it does, but there's some software called TWAIN (thing without an interesting name).

That'd be document scanners, when they still connected by parallel ports (remember them?) in the old days before USB.

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

My favourite was the Tunbridge Wells branch of the Young Conservatives who went by the name of Tunbridge Wells Action Team. I think they changed their name after someone pointed out the unfortunate acronym [Snigger]

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

Sorry for the double post.

quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
no-one's yet mentioned TLA - which, of course, stands for Three Letter Acronym

And of course a four letter acronym is an ETLA - Extended Three Letter Acronym!

Posted by bib (# 13074) on :

I really dislike acronyms as they create in groups and outsiders particularly for people who are new to an organization.It is always embarrassing at a meeting to have to ask for a translation. I believe the whole phrase should be used before switching to the acronym, otherwise the whole dialogue can be nonsensical.

Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :

And then for pedants, we have TIARA.

Tiara Is A Recursive Acronym [Big Grin]

Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hart:

quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
True story: our HR department prefers to refer to "short-term disability" as STD. When one of my colleagues was out on maternity leave, it was a little shocking to learn she had a STD.
If you get a doctorate in sacred theological from a pontifical university, you have an STD.

This seems to be one with a number of applications. Once I was staying in a B&B and idly perusing the helpful sheet of info for visitors. It included a local number to call in the event of medical emergencies, and added, "no STD". Fortunately that wasn't an issue.

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :

There are endless engineering acronyms, of course, but the one I find myself using most frequently is TOFU (TOtally F****d Up). It has also been applied to some presbytery endeavours.

Posted by cheesymarzipan (# 9442) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hart:

I forgot about the Southampton Undergrad Maths Society: SUMS.

Staying in Southampton, the department in charge of the uni networks and computers used to be called Southampton University Computer Services.

Posted by Erik (# 11406) on :

At work I often come across the enzyme superoxide dismutase which is often abbreviated to SOD. I also occasionally read articles published in the Proceedings of the National Acadamy of Science (PNAS).

Posted by A.Pilgrim (# 15044) on :

quote:
Originally posted by John Holding:
I have been reliably informed that the medical acronym PID -- which is actually the short form for Peritoneal (?) Disease -- is routinely referred to by medical personnel -- out of patients' hearing -- as "Pus In Dere".

John

I think that would be Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. I won't link to the medical websites which explain why the alternative expansion of the acronym is appropriate, but Google will get you there.

Some while ago the acronym Computer Aided Cartography was proposed, but then someone realised the scatological connection, so the acronym was declared to be void which struck me as an amusingly appropriate way of phrasing its abolition.
Angus

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

Universities are a fount of odd acronyms. The two I remember are Bradford University Musical Society and Bradford University Gilbert & Sullivan Society.

Posted by Jigsaw (# 11433) on :

The BBC loves acronyms. Their "From Our Own Correspondent" programme is known as FOOC by the staff.
Thus giving rise to the reported comment to the producer: "That was a great FOOC" and the reply: "Thanks, I enjoyed it too".

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:
Universities are a fount of odd acronyms. The two I remember are Bradford University Musical Society and Bradford University Gilbert & Sullivan Society.

Anywhere that begins 'BU' is off to a flying start. Makes me wonder what became of that musical archive, the Bradford University Gay Glee Ensemble Repertoire?

Posted by John Holding (# 158) on :

And then there is the venerable London Gospel Tabernacle, in London Ontario, that decided to go all modern when it moved to the suburbs. Anti-gay in the usual way of baptist-type conventicles in this country. Now calls itself the LGT...which prompted my evil daughter to ask (only rhetorically, alas) what they had against bisexuals, excluding them in that way.

I suspect that the good people of the LGT are simply not aware of the LGBT(Q) acronym.

John

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

My father's first degree was a BS. STD is rather common here, as the disability term. It is almost always STDs, with the specific disease referred to if one is considered: Hep C, HIV etc.

I have always like Linux abbreviations, like GNU which is Gnu's Not Unix, and WINE - Wine Is Not an Emulator, which allows Windows™ programs to run within a Linux operating system.

Medically, PEARL and PEARLA - pupils equal and reactive to light (and) accommodation, and SOB for shortness of breath.

When I was learning German, Zwie = Zwie was Eine initially.

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
... Anywhere that begins 'BU' is off to a flying start ...

I think it was Birmingham University whose rag mag was called "BURP" - Birmingham University Rag Publication.

Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :

A streetcar line in Seattle that ran from the south side of Lake Union into downtown was (briefly) called South Lake Union Transit. That was until someone noticed the acronym and started selling T-shirts saying "Ride the SLUT."

At Oregon State Hospital there is an administrative position, the Program Nursing Supervisor. Say it fast.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Probably a fictitious post, the European International Engineering Information Officer.

Posted by Angloid (# 159) on :

The BBC used to have an Engineering Information (Enquiries and Inspections) Officer. At least, I'm fairly sure there was one job title (however worded) that produced that acronym.

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :

The Methodist Church recently gained a new hymnbook and I am having real problems with the fact that it is referred to by its initials... STF. When I see it written on the order of service, my mind immediately adds the initial U to the end.

I have a wry smile every time I use the cashpoint as it tells me I can get free cash from this ATM.. but obviously may not be able to do so later.

My son's school gained a new name when it was merged with another school. They nearly renamed it College Of Christ the King, but then realised that CKC (Christ the King College) was probably more wise a choice for a school-load of teenagers than CoCK.

Posted by Avila (# 15541) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Meerkat:
Our Technical Director refers to 'S&M' a lot, but he means 'Support and Maintenance', not the 'other' meaning.

The new supersized Methodist circuit here didn't want to be nicknamed the M&S circuit (after a major UK shop) so opted for Shropshire and Marches instead. As a lowly student minister at the time I didn't think it prudent to reveal my insight by pointing out the implications if they couldn't see themselves.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Our pastor has been going to a lot of meetings with the Board of Ordained Ministry. I'm quite sure I heard his wife refer to it as BOOM!

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Angloid:
The BBC used to have an Engineering Information (Enquiries and Inspections) Officer. At least, I'm fairly sure there was one job title (however worded) that produced that acronym.

I think Auntie must have an Acronym Production Team (how APT) because Mrs Sioni's uncle worked on BBC outside broadcasts as a General Unit Manager For Off-Site Services, and was known as GUMFOSS.

Posted by Lolly (# 13347) on :

We had a major project at work called the POS (Point of Service). Needless to say it generated a lot of snickers especially when they posted the project status of green, yellow, or red. It became even more relevant when the post production issues cropped up and people were forced to work overtime to fix that POS.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

there was one project I was working on that was sponsored by the Fast development team, and was a Queue Management system. They named it FastQueue, abbreviated to FQ.

Often known as the Fuck You project.

Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on :

Our former MD at work had the acronym NFU which stood for "further training required".

Posted by Porridge (# 15405) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
Our former MD at work had the acronym NFU which stood for "further training required".

Huh? How do you get "NFU" from Further Training Required?

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

No F***ing Use?

D. tells the story of a colleague who was sent on an in-service training course for teaching developmentally-challenged kids. Someone on the course said that they were referred to as the "CRAFT" class, and one of the other attendees (a very earnest type) said, "Oh, that's wonderful - helping their development through arts and crafts?"

"No", said the first teacher, "it stands for Can't Remember A F***ing Thing".

Another of his colleagues used the acronym "BLS", which stood for Bloody Little Shite. [Snigger]

Posted by Jengie Jon (# 273) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Porridge:

quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
Our former MD at work had the acronym NFU which stood for "further training required".
Huh? How do you get "NFU" from Further Training Required?

probably "No F**king Use", an acronym covered by a euphemism.

Jengie

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Before the advent of more open records, doctors had a fund of these. e.g. -

CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury

Posted by gog (# 15615) on :

With in the Live Action Rolepaly world the place where things at the games are run from are generally referred to as the Games Operation Desk

Posted by Oferyas (# 14031) on :

Not an acronym as such, but abbreviating the proud but lengthy name of Shropshire to its Latinised form of Salop on passports had to be stopped when somebody realised that 'salop' is French for 'bastard'.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
In the early 1940s, the Commander in Chief United States (Navy) had the acronym CINCUS. They changed the title when people started pronouncing it 'sink us'.

Moo

When I came across that in my studies, I didn't think anything of it: perhaps it was because my late father was a Navy man and fought in that war. Therfore, I was used to acronyms, such as "Situation Normal All Fouled Up."

Posted by Oferyas (# 14031) on :

The engineer who supervises new septic tank installations in this area of France is a young lady who is both ornamental and highly competent. The acronym on her van could be mistaken for an offer of quite different services by English holders, as her vehicle is labelled SPANC!

Posted by The Kat in the Hat (# 2557) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Smudgie:
The Methodist Church recently gained a new hymnbook and I am having real problems with the fact that it is referred to by its initials... STF. When I see it written on the order of service, my mind immediately adds the initial U to the end.

Oh good, not just me then [Big Grin]

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

Now that we have a new Emergency Financial Manager in Detroit, EFM no longer means "Education for Ministry" to me. [Disappointed]

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
If you get a doctorate in sacred theological from a pontifical university, you have an STD.

One of our professors at the GTU was being introduced to a proseminar class. When the person introducing him mentioned that he got his STD in Rome, he interrupted very playfully, "Lots of people get STDs in Rome!"

Speaking of the GTU (Graduate Theological Union), I always thought that its Institute for Buddhist Studies was rather unfortunately named because of its acronym (shared with "irritable bowel syndrome" - which you didn't need me to spell out for you if you hear enough TV commercials).

[ 26. March 2013, 00:32: Message edited by: churchgeek ]

Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on :

At the more individual level, we had a phys. ed. teacher by the name of Samuel Francis Abbott, who delighted in using his full set of initials.

And then there was the church gathering which put up large banners advertising, in that order, "Worship", Theology" and "Friendship", using only the three initials.

But the winner has to be the T-shirt with "Fully Under Christ's Kingship" emblazoned on the chest, which was mentioned here on the Ship some years ago.

Posted by ExclamationMark (# 14715) on :

Between wood and water there's a waste disposal firm with a van that has its function emblzoned on the side Clear Rubbish At Prestidge Prices ... http://www.crapp.biz/

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :

I am just reminded (by listening to an old record of "We shall not be moved") that there used to be an organisation in the USA called the Southern Tenant Farmers Union. And yes, they used the obvious four-letter acronym.

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ken:
I am just reminded (by listening to an old record of "We shall not be moved") that there used to be an organisation in the USA called the Southern Tenant Farmers Union. And yes, they used the obvious four-letter acronym.

There's a band from Edinburgh called Southern Tenant Folk Union who also use the obvious acronym. We saw them recently, they supported Hothouse Flowers at Celtic Connections.

Posted by ChaliceGirl (# 13656) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Before the advent of more open records, doctors had a fund of these. e.g. -

CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury

SOB= Short Of Breath
FU= Follow Up

Also GOMER= Get Out Of My Emergency Room

Posted by Truman White (# 17290) on :

A matel of mine used to be on a Guidance Improvement Team.

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