Ship of Fools: Music Appreciation in Hell

Thread: Music Appreciation in Hell Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

It's about time we had some culture down here. Bunch of Philistines...

I'm a little rusty with the lyre these days, so I've booked a variety of acts who are well-suited to the Hell circuit. Think of me as an infernal concert promoter.

I'm always on the lookout for new talent, so if you know anyone who might be suited to our Hellish climate and damned clientele, let us know. Thread posts if you're game, PM if you're chicken.

First up... we got lucky and managed to book these guys for 5 shows a week at the Cerberus Casino for the next 657 years. Put your hands together for THE BLOODHOUND GANG!

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

A round of applause folks...

I said, a round of applause.

Better.

Now, for the art rock crowd, I'm pleased to announce that Lou Reed will be making a special appearance to mark the 38th anniversary of his seminal masterpiece, Metal Machine Music.

Please note that all earplugs WILL be confiscated at the door.

Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on :

Hell Music.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Bet you can't manage to get through the whole of this one. I managed 45 seconds.

But who knows - maybe Primal Scream would be interested in this new talent? Scream she certainly can.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

For classical music lovers, Shirley Temple has generously agreed to reprise her gorgeous rendition of the mad scene from Donizetti's opera, Lucia di Lammermoor. It truly has to be heard to be believed, folks!

EDIT: A true diva in the making, Chorister! PS You lost your bet. [Big Grin]

[ 11. February 2013, 08:02: Message buggered about with by: orfeo ]

Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Bet you can't manage to get through the whole of this one. I managed 45 seconds.

I got through it, but shame that in nearly two minutes she couldn't get to the second line.

Orfeo, what's your opinion on this North American masterpiece?

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

I LOVE Bad Touch. Singing that is perfect way to embarrass your children in public.

I'm sure we must add anything by Ke$ha to the mix?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Shh, comet! Ke$ha was going to be a surprise guest for the grand closing gala!

Ahem. Another one for the classical set... our resident soprano, Florence Foster Jenkins, has been persuaded to come out of retirement. Exciting! Who could forget her magnificent interpretation of Mozart's 'Queen of the Night' aria! Listen to those high notes... okay, they're not that high in her version...

Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :

For your delight and delectation, may I present the Portsmouth Sinfonia performing a work by Strauss.

You might recognise it

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ********'t:
Orfeo, what's your opinion on this North American masterpiece?

...sorry, once I pressed slow motion play on the scenes with the hot boy in them, it was far too difficult to evaluate the music...

She seemed genuinely in tune though. Which limits her appeal in this market.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
For your delight and delectation, may I present the Portsmouth Sinfonia performing a work by Strauss.

Their contract is in the mail, even as we speak.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Our first rap act is a true legend. By special arrangement, VANILLA ICE will be performing all his hits.

Except 'Ice Ice Baby', he's really sick of that one. There's already about 6 fucking versions of the thing.

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

My current earworm .

I know it's wrong, but I like it.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Brilliant! I can see a whole new dance craze developing with that one! The denizens will be thrilled!

EDIT: But you know the Ship's rules. You should have at least considered the version with subtitles. Even if it does completely miss the point.

SECOND EDIT: Okay, at least ONE of the completely contradictory different versions with subtitles.

[ 11. February 2013, 08:59: Message buggered about with by: orfeo ]

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

No music appreciation thread complete without the awesome Steve Mauldin proving that the worst ever 'O Holy Night' was really his.

Start at about 5.38 to miss explanations and get to the er.... singing.

If you listen really carefully you can just about make out where the 'break' in his register is.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

I wouldn't DREAM of missing the explanations. It's one of the most beautiful train wrecks I've ever seen.

Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :

you can't forget Florence Foster Jenkins.

For example: this

Warning: not safe for pitch sensitive ears.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
you can't forget Florence Foster Jenkins.

Ahem. I didn't. Did you forget your glasses?

Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :

Yup.

But it's so bad it deserves a second mention.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Encore! Encore!

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Don't think we've forgotten you, country music fans!

We've got a star-studded line-up to bring you all their best hits, including such gems as She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy, Rockin' The Beer Gut (with a truly rocking chorus!) and the timeless classic May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose.

Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :

Have to say I think this also deserves a dishonourable mention.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
Have to say I think this also deserves a dishonourable mention.

Excellent. Do they do live shows, though? I've got stadiums to fill.

Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :

I so don't want to know.

I'm still scarred from being exposed to that some 15yrs ago, (dis)courtesy of a friend's offspring.

[ 11. February 2013, 12:50: Message buggered about with by: kingsfold ]

Posted by claret10 (# 16341) on :

Think this wld be a good theme tune, maybe change some of the words to names of board members.

Everything you know is wrong

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

It may be 'Amore', but is it singing?

I love people! How can you not, when they're this funny?!

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

I'll stop with this one!

Feel the joy!!

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
I'll stop with this one!

Feel the joy!!

Ps 98:4, "Make a joyful noise".

Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on :

Anselmina, THANK YOU. I haven't laughed like that for almost a year. And fuck, that feels good.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Since ITTWACW, I'd like to offer some churchy music.

An organ is churchy, right? Right?! Here's a lovely example of what, with a little practice, we organists can aspire to.

And, orfeo, since you very rightly seem to appreciate lyrics with lesser known music, perhaps this lovely hymn could be included in your concert?

Posted by kankucho (# 14318) on :

"Letting ME loose in a recording studio? ...With MY reputation? What WERE they thinking of?"

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
I'll stop with this one!

Feel the joy!!

Do I need to organise them performer visas for Hell, or are they already in residence?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
And, orfeo, since you very rightly seem to appreciate lyrics with lesser known music, perhaps this lovely hymn could be included in your concert?

With pleasure!

In fact, I can see some real opportunities for audience participation here.

*checks festival calendar to see if there's room for a Sunday afternoon singalong event*

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by kankucho:
"Letting ME loose in a recording studio? ...With MY reputation? What WERE they thinking of?"

This may be Hell (or it may not be at the moment, spellchecker seems to be querying it), but we DO have standards.

Posted by Mad Cat (# 9104) on :

Here for your choral segment , some bastard makes a bunch of innocent choristers sing Eminem.

I fear small dogs must have been held ****age somewhere to make this concert happen.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Brought a tear to my eye, that did. Because the uncoordinated choral segments sound so much like the rustling moanings of the condemned souls in Hell. Suddenly I'm homesick.

I mean, combine all those mutterings of "shake it" with the high wail in the Hey Ya segment, and it's uncannily like the forced exercise torture sessions on Thursday evenings.

And THEN they sing "It's getting hot in here".

These guys are going to be a sensation.

Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :

I thought they were rather sweet.

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

If you see her, run.

(But Kristin sings it really well).

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Brilliant! I can see a whole new dance craze developing with that one! The denizens will be thrilled!

EDIT: But you know the Ship's rules. You should have at least considered the version with subtitles. Even if it does completely miss the point.

SECOND EDIT: Okay, at least ONE of the completely contradictory different versions with subtitles.

But there is no translation.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
If you see her, run.

(But Kristin sings it really well).

Doesn't fit with our cultural values. That was far too enjoyable.

[ 13. February 2013, 01:18: Message buggered about with by: orfeo ]

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Thank you folks, the performers for our concert season are now all booked.

The official season launch will be added to the calendar shortly, with subscription packages available from launch day and then individual ticket sales coming online a couple of weeks later.

orfeo
Promoter and Hellhost

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