Ship of Fools: I repent ...

Thread: I repent ... Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

This morning a joke was aired on local radio, I admit I heard the joke, I laughed AND I told the joke to my wife.

Here is the joke ...

quote:
I am writing a joke about nipples .... it needs a little tweaking.

I need to repent, to acknowledge in thought word and deed that I am a potential sinner of the worst kind, that this sort of stuff will ruin my life and the life of many around me and that I know unless I get better and behave I will be shuned, punished and be given a good telling off.

quote:
“But it was alright, everything was alright, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Mother.”

Fly Safe Pyx_e

Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on :

You filthy sinner. You should be in (fur lined) handcuffs immediately.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
I am a potential sinner of the worst kind

I hate to drag theology into Hell, but you are exactly as much of a potential sinner as everybody else.

Must you pollute my halls with this drivel?

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

Ahh! Local Radio... that well known bastion of rape culture.

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Ahh! Local Radio... that well known bastion of rape culture.

Aw, bless. Look, he's learnt some new words, but he hasn't worked out how to use them yet.

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Ahh! Local Radio... that well known bastion of rape culture.
Aw, bless. Look, he's learnt some new words, but he hasn't worked out how to use them yet.

Aww, and you're trying out some sarcasm with training wheels there! Well done. You'll be a big boy soon!

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:

quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Ahh! Local Radio... that well known bastion of rape culture.
Aw, bless. Look, he's learnt some new words, but he hasn't worked out how to use them yet.
Aww, and you're trying out some sarcasm with training wheels there! Well done. You'll be a big boy soon!

The Great Gumby has enrolled in Sarcasm University. You, deano, have been held back in second grade repeatedly.

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

Oh, that's a good one. Well done. You took my jibe and turned it all around there by saying he's not a beginner, he's really, really advanced. So there!

It's nice to see the elegance and wit of a modern day Oscar Wilde now and then. Pity I'm still waiting.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
Oh, that's a good one. Well done. You took my jibe and turned it all around there by saying he's not a beginner, he's really, really advanced. So there!

Well you can't argue with the facts. Actually, scratch that, it appears that YOU can until we all want to beat you over the head with something heavy.

In my opinion, as a long-time Hell observer and resident, The GG displays considerable skill around here, while you flounder around here like a toddler who is trying to run before he's refined his motor skills with a good, solid dose of walking.

While it's initially cute and amusing to watch your limbs flailing everywhere, after a while we worry that either you're going to break something valuable or you're going to hurt yourself when you smash into a wall because you're too busy looking at back at your audience with a grin on your face to see whether we're all appreciating your 'cleverness'.

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

The problem you have Orfeo, is that your response above is like the wee kid who hangs around with the bully, and when GG made his comment, you leaned around from behind him, shook your little fist at me and said “…yeah!”

Oh, and if that’s the best display of GG’s “considerable skill” - “ooh, look what he said from the other thread!” – then it looks like I’m going to be waiting for my fix of elegant wit for a while yet.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
The problem you have Orfeo, is that your response above is like the wee kid who hangs around with the bully, and when GG made his comment, you leaned around from behind him, shook your little fist at me and said “…yeah!”

You know, that analogy might just have worked if you weren't talking to a Hellhost.
[Roll Eyes]

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

If sarcasm's a bit too advanced for you, deano, let's try direct questions - do you have anything meaningful to add to this thread, or do you just see it as a new opportunity to air your homeopathic grade comprehension skills?

[ETA: Cross-posted and OMFG, I can't believe he just said that!]

[ 25. March 2013, 13:50: Message edited by: The Great Gumby ]

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
The problem you have Orfeo, is that your response above is like the wee kid who hangs around with the bully, and when GG made his comment, you leaned around from behind him, shook your little fist at me and said “…yeah!”
You know, that analogy might just have worked if you weren't talking to a Hellhost.

Ah, well, yess. The internet's traffic wardens.

Nice that you've made it clear that you are a host. I wont push too hard then.

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

GG, I think the OP was discussing a joke. Have you a dictionary? Can you get someone to explain the concepts – sorry ideas – in a “joke”?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
The problem you have Orfeo, is that your response above is like the wee kid who hangs around with the bully, and when GG made his comment, you leaned around from behind him, shook your little fist at me and said “…yeah!”
You know, that analogy might just have worked if you weren't talking to a Hellhost.

Ah, well, yess. The internet's traffic wardens.

Nice that you've made it clear that you are a host. I wont push too hard then.

I'm not making it clear that I'm a host because I'm waving a big stick at you. I'm not acting in an official capacity on this thread. I'm referring to the fact that I'm a host because it's unbelievably stupid to suggest that I'm a little kid with no skills or experience standing behind the bigger boy.

You want to talk about sarcasm abilities, deano? I got picked to run Hell. Draw your own conclusions.

I'm going to bed now. I'd like to say it's been fun, but we all know that would be a lie.

[ 25. March 2013, 14:13: Message edited by: orfeo ]

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

quote:
Originally posted by deano:
GG, I think the OP was discussing a joke. Have you a dictionary? Can you get someone to explain the concepts – sorry ideas – in a “joke”?

It's like trying to teach particle physics to a puppy that's barely housetrained. [Disappointed]

I know what the OP was, you tedious cockwomble. What started this off was your inane and uncomprehending contribution to the resulting thread. If that was meant to be a joke, I think it's best to say it may need some explaining to appreciate the full force of your no doubt remarkable wit. If it wasn't, I have no idea what relevance the joke in the OP has to anything.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
If it wasn't, I have no idea what relevance the joke in the OP has to anything.

Everything! Pyx_e laughed at a joke about nipples! He is, therefore, a pernicious agent of the insidious rape culture that will surely destroy everything that is good in society! Unless he is stopped first...

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

A joke about nipples. How mammelist!

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

It's not as though male nipples don't respond to tweaking as well.

Unlike other male sexual parts, they can respond to cold by getting larger. I know a number of people who shouldn't wear polo shirts in the winter.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Hostly Bowler On

If anybody wants to talk the rights and wrongs of Hosts and Hosting, take it to The Styx.

Hostly Bowler off

Sioni Sais
Hellhost

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
If it wasn't, I have no idea what relevance the joke in the OP has to anything.
Everything! Pyx_e laughed at a joke about nipples! He is, therefore, a pernicious agent of the insidious rape culture that will surely destroy everything that is good in society! Unless he is stopped first...

I've lost track with all the different layers of sarcasm and mockery. Is this intended to mock some sort of straw feminist, deano's imagination of the same, or something else entirely?

I did wonder if the mention of nipples might have got deano rather overexcited, but I can't decide whether he's trying to be right-on or mocking the idea of rape culture. It doesn't really matter, because he fails either way, but it helps to be clear. And as Organ Builder observes, without the context there's no way to know who's doing what to whom.

If anyone genuinely wants to argue, on the available information, that this joke is an example of rape culture, I'll disagree. Until someone actually tries to make that argument, you can keep your straw.

[Removing ambiguity]

[ 25. March 2013, 15:28: Message edited by: The Great Gumby ]

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
I've lost track with all the different layers of sarcasm and mockery. Is this intended to mock some sort of straw feminist, deano's imagination of the same, or something else entirely?

Well, we have a thread in Purg right now about how two guys who made a few vaguely sexual puns between themselves are exponents of rape culture and should be punished. What's different about Pyx-e's joke in the OP?

It can't be because nipples aren't a specifically female thing, because last time I looked "dongle" is a specifically male euphemism.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

It - whatever it is - is all the fault of lentil-munching feminist Guardianistas. Immigrant lentil-munching feminist Guardianistas. Golf-hating immigrant etc etc.

It always is.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

Me thinks Pyx_e is becoming a bit of a tit.

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

You need to meditate on this instead, Pyx_e.

The good part starts at 1:20.

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

eww...

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
You need to meditate on this instead, Pyx_e.

The good part starts at 1:20.

Damn you to here for posting that. You bastard.

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Well, we have a thread in Purg right now about how two guys who made a few vaguely sexual puns between themselves are exponents of rape culture and should be punished. What's different about Pyx-e's joke in the OP?

Well, there are some differences; in context, in circumstance, in personnel etc. Does Pyx_e's wife feel personally insulted by her husband's reference to nipple tweaking? (I should think she probably lives in fear of much worse by way of conversation, round the Pyx_e breakfast-table [Razz]

!!) Was it inappropriate of him to introduce nipple-tweaking where he and his wife were, and whatever was happening at the time? Hopefully, we'll never know! [Paranoid]

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
You need to meditate on this instead, Pyx_e.

The good part starts at 1:20.

I hope they've all taken precautions....

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

Two hours ago I did not know that video existed. The only way to feel less unclean is to share it with friends...

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

gosh, thanks.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
It - whatever it is - is all the fault of lentil-munching feminist Guardianistas. Immigrant lentil-munching feminist Guardianistas. Golf-hating immigrant etc etc.

Not forgetting humourless, man-hating and lesbian.

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Well, we have a thread in Purg right now about how two guys who made a few vaguely sexual puns between themselves are exponents of rape culture and should be punished.

As I'm sure you're aware, not eveyone has taken such an extreme line. Anyone seeking a touch of sanity might care to read goperryrevs' posts.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
You need to meditate on this instead, Pyx_e.

The good part starts at 1:20.

It ALL good! (if you are a superstitious heretic)

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
It - whatever it is - is all the fault of lentil-munching feminist Guardianistas. Immigrant lentil-munching feminist Guardianistas. Golf-hating immigrant etc etc.

It always is.

Not all, just one.

Fly Safe Pyx_e.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

How do you clean a computer? deano wants to know. [Snigger]

Posted by Gextvedde (# 11084) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
You need to meditate on this instead, Pyx_e.

The good part starts at 1:20.

I've just been sick in my mouth and it's starting to dribble [Projectile]

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
I know unless I get better and behave I will be shuned, punished and be given a good telling off.

What, no spanking?

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gextvedde:

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
You need to meditate on this instead, Pyx_e.
The good part starts at 1:20.
I've just been sick in my mouth and it's starting to dribble

Me too, almost, but I was distracted by the small furry thing on his head - do you think it's alive?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

One of the posted comments was a query about why the pages were stuck together...

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
Two hours ago I did not know that video existed. The only way to feel less unclean is to share it with friends...

Yeah, who needs the radio when you've got Facebook?

Self-flagellation, Pyx_e, you know it's the only way.

Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :

Eeeewwww. Bibliolatry porn!

Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on :

I don’t see the problem with that video. The guy seems quite sincere in his faith, and his audience is clearly uplifted and inspired by the message in his song. So what’s the actual difference between this stuff and, say, a Papal address? Or your Sunday Communion sermon? It’s a question of taste, isn’t it?

If taste is a fair arbiter of religion, all your faiths are a joke.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
I don’t see the problem with that video.

Then you may need to adjust your bullshit detectors.

quote:
It’s a question of taste, isn’t it? ... If taste is a fair arbiter of religion, all your faiths are a joke.

Worship styles are arguably just a matter of taste (though it could be a very long and wearing argument). Faith is a matter of discernment. But what's your problem with taste, anyway? Somehow I find it hard to picture you drinking Nisa instant coffee with your breakfast Chocolate Cheerios.

Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on :

quote:
Originally posted by QLib:
Then you may need to adjust your bullshit detectors.

You think he’s bullshitting? Seriously, what gives you that impression?

quote:
Faith is a matter of discernment. But what's your problem with taste, anyway?

It's a hypocrisy. You cannot expect a neutral third party to respect your faith if you disrespect another’s on grounds of personal taste. If faith ‘discernment’ is based on something as subjective as personal taste, it’s pretty fucked up, seems to me.

[ 26. March 2013, 09:21: Message edited by: Yorick ]

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
I know unless I get better and behave I will be shuned, punished and be given a good telling off.
What, no spanking?

tsk, murder culture.

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

What’s funny is reading people’s comments WITHOUT watching the video!

You think you have a good grasp on what’s happening then someone throws in a line like…

quote:
I was distracted by the small furry thing on his head - do you think it's alive?

And the imagination goes into overdrive…

Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
It's a hypocrisy. You cannot expect a neutral third party to respect your faith if you disrespect another’s on grounds of personal taste. If faith ‘discernment’ is based on something as subjective as personal taste, it’s pretty fucked up, seems to me.

But it's all personal taste. Haven't you noticed that anyone whose beliefs are more liberal than yours is a hellbound heretic, and anyone who's more conservative than you is a fundie nutter? (With apologies to George Carlin)

Similarly, anyone whose preferred form of religious expression is more approximate to cultural norms than yours is a backslider with nominal beliefs, while anyone who expresses themselves in less socially acceptable ways is either looking for attention, mentally abnormal or deliberately mocking your genuine faith.

Posted by Yorick (# 12169) on :

Well, quite.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
I know unless I get better and behave I will be shuned, punished and be given a good telling off.
What, no spanking?

I'm sure it could be arranged if you want it that much.

Posted by Organ Builder (# 12478) on :

Actually, I see no reason to believe the gentleman leading the worship is anything but perfectly sincere (though he may be speaking figuratively when he says he sleeps with it).

It was the not-at-all-subtle sexual overtones and the facial expression of orgasm that made the whole thing seem so OTT.

On the other hand, I found it very encouraging that not all of the congregation seemed to follow unquestioningly. Some of them looked vaguely amused, and there was one old gentleman who wasn't doing any of it, but the camera moved away from him rather quickly.

"Stroke it, kiss it, rub it across your face". I guess I need to face the fact that my sense of humor hasn't changed much since junior high school.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
I don’t see the problem with that video. The guy seems quite sincere in his faith, and his audience is clearly uplifted and inspired by the message in his song. So what’s the actual difference between this stuff and, say, a Papal address? Or your Sunday Communion sermon? It’s a question of taste, isn’t it?

If taste is a fair arbiter of religion, all your faiths are a joke.

Ugly, badly dressed but by all accounts wealthy white guy telling good looking, better dressed black people, no doubt with less money, what to do. I thought we were past that.

Of course he seems sincere. His livelihood depends on it.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Making love to your bible is obscene, beyond the idolization of the book itself. I didn't watch long enough to see if he gave the book his tongue or if he kept his hands on the book only. [Projectile]

Posted by Gextvedde (# 11084) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
I don’t see the problem with that video. The guy seems quite sincere in his faith, and his audience is clearly uplifted and inspired by the message in his song. So what’s the actual difference between this stuff and, say, a Papal address? Or your Sunday Communion sermon? It’s a question of taste, isn’t it?

If taste is a fair arbiter of religion, all your faiths are a joke.

It's the same difference that exists between Shakespeare and Mills & Boon. It may be sincere but that doesn't mean it's not syrupy tasteless cack.

Posted by goperryrevs (# 13504) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
Actually, I see no reason to believe the gentleman leading the worship is anything but perfectly sincere (though he may be speaking figuratively when he says he sleeps with it).

I agree. Sincere but loopy, so I have some sympathy with what Yorick is asking.

When he says he sleeps with his bible, I think he just means that he sleeps with it under his pillow or something. I've come across people who have done that when they're going through a tough time, as a kind of comfort.

I'm trying not to picture the alternative if I'm wrong about that...

"Stroke it, kiss it, rub it on your face" is really catchy. I'm sure they could use it in an advert for... something... not sure what though.

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Of course he seems sincere. His livelihood depends on it.

One could say the same of any priest or bishop...

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Looks a very valid candidate for Fruit Tube to me.

Posted by Mertseger (# 4534) on :

quote:
“But it was alright, everything was alright, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Mother.”

Doubleplusgood, Ol' Pyxe: I'd knew you'd find your way to the Goddess eventually.

quote:
"OUR Lady Andrea Dworkin, who hath left power to her Coven to absolve all wim who truly repent and believe in her, of her great mercy forgive thee thine offences: And by her authority committed to me, I absolve thee from all thy rapeliness, In the Name of the Maiden, and of the Mother, and of the Holy Crone. Awim.

Anyone else wanna come down to the river and repent your mewimly ways?

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:

Self-flagellation, Pyx_e, you know it's the only way.

That was likely the point of the thread.

Or perhaps he felt bad about it and wanted his fan club to help him feel better about it. (You know - as long as people think it's okay it must be okay).

Or perhaps he decided Hell was boring these days and thought he'd post something stupid to see how many stupid people would respond.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Or perhaps he decided Hell was boring these days and thought he'd post something stupid to see how many stupid people would respond.

The way things are going, we're going to have to post an 11th Commandment soon: thou shalt not post utterly pointless shit in Hell just because you're bored.

Since when did the Ship become the only source of excitement for you people anyway? Can't you go play in traffic or something? Teach lambada at the local nursing home? Become a graffiti artist? Perfect your juggling?

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Gah, even the Archbishop of Canterbury has a sense of humour. We need priests who can see the funny side of life - God help us all if Christianity means we can't laugh at a puerile joke once in a while.

Even in Lent.

Perhaps especially in Lent.

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:

Self-flagellation, Pyx_e, you know it's the only way.
That was likely the point of the thread.

Or perhaps he felt bad about it and wanted his fan club to help him feel better about it. (You know - as long as people think it's okay it must be okay).

Yeah, because Pyx_e really cares about what other SOF posters think, and can't live without the approbation of people like you and me. [Roll Eyes]

quote:
Or perhaps he decided Hell was boring these days and thought he'd post something stupid to see how many stupid people would respond.

......

Naw, too easy. [Big Grin]

Posted by passer (# 13329) on :

ITTWACW

Surely, Christians don't do jokes?

BBC1 this evening at 23:05, for those on this side of the pond.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

quote:
Or perhaps he decided Hell was boring these days and thought he'd post something stupid to see how many stupid people would respond.

Evensong keeping stupid culture alive one sentence at a time.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The way things are going, we're going to have to post an 11th Commandment soon: thou shalt not post utterly pointless shit in Hell just because you're bored.

Since when did the Ship become the only source of excitement for you people anyway? Can't you go play in traffic or something? Teach lambada at the local nursing home? Become a graffiti artist? Perfect your juggling?

Who is this "you people"?

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Who is this "you people"?

Everyone who isn't a current or former Hellhost, obviously.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Who is this "you people"?
Everyone who isn't a current or former Hellhost, obviously.

Exactly. Because I agreed to hang around here even WHEN I am bored.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Who is this "you people"?
Everyone who isn't a current or former Hellhost, obviously.
Exactly. Because I agreed to hang around here even WHEN I am bored.

Ah OK, so on threads I start can you say "them people"?

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

Welcome to the Darkside Pyx_e. Postmodernists don't like "us" and "them" distinctions.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Why are they called postmodernists, then? Why aren't they just called
?

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

Why ?

(unless of course, you're labeling against modernism. [Big Grin]

)

Posted by Jengie Jon (# 273) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Welcome to the Darkside Pyx_e. Postmodernists don't like "us" and "them" distinctions.

No they call "them" "other". You need to catch up with your Post-Colonial branch of Post-modernism.

Jengie

[ 30. March 2013, 18:41: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

Jengie

#likeaboss

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

We Are Not The Twits. Keep your twitting hashtag thingies for the mothertwitting social twitting media twitsites.

(the following is directed to all hashtagging twits, not just evensong)

drives me fucking nuts. you want to say something, say it. don't remove all spaces and render every fucking thought down to a little nugget of cliche. We don't talk like that. and whenever I see it, I imagine some nitwit blurting it all out in one word like the verbal equivalent of a giant, rude belch. Save it for fellow like-minded belchers and when you're around real fucking humans pretend you're older than a kindergardener and USE YOUR WORDS!

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

Dammit, now I'm all cranky. Need something soothing. What to do... what to do...

I know!

CRACKS HOSTLY WHIP

fuck you all.

THREAD CLOSED

comet
Bitchy Hellhost

PS: Happy Easter, everyone.

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