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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Birthday presents after 50?
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
A friend thanked me again for the gift I'd given her for her 50th birthday a few months ago (a natural moment in a normal conversation). I said usually the 50th birthday is the last one people routinely bring presents, so I thought I'd make it a nice one. She looked startled and said that can't be true. I said if you have 20 people over 3 or 4 will bring a small gift, but mostly it's cards.
She thinks I'm crazy, of course birthdays include presents! I thought no gifts became normal after a "certain age." Parties I go to for gray haired people have people, music, food, conversation, a cake, very few gifts.
Maybe it's different subcultures? What do your friends do? Just curious.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Emendator Liturgia
Shipmate
# 17245
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Posted
Whilst certainly not universalist, here in OZ the 0's are very often celebrated big time (still have to wait a couple of years before my 60th) - and these invariably include presents. Our Community Priest reaches 70 later in the year and we'll be celebrating and present-ing, we imagine. His wife had a '0 a couple of years back with a lot of close friends around and was endowed with personal items, some of which were of a humour kind.
Of course, at any time I am open to being gifted with a round-the-world cruise on the QM2 - mind you, no-one actually has to wait to my birthday! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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Don't judge all Anglicans in Sydney by prevailing Diocesan standards!
Posts: 401 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jul 2012
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
The last time I had a "big" birthday, we had a load of people round. A couple brought gifts, but most brought beer.
My aged parents still faithfully mail me a gift every year though (and we send them gifts).
Generally speaking, I find birthday presents as an adult a bit awkward - most of the stuff I actually want, I either own, or have decided that it's too expensive for the use I'd get out of it. If I've decided it's not worth spending money on X, I'd feel rather guilty if someone else went out and spent their hard-earned money on X for me.
My little brother went through a phase of sending me an annual "comedy" tie, which must have been his idea of a meta-joke, because I only really wear a tie for weddings and funerals (and perhaps once a year for work) and in none of those situations would Spongebob Squarepants be appropriate.
Little sister sends me socks every year, which I actually appreciate - they are a consumable item, so it's useful to get some every year, they don't cost her an extortionate amount of money, and she has good taste.
Oh, and I'm not 50 yet.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
There's certainly nothing in my experience that gives a particular cut-off age for getting or receiving gifts. Although both Josephine and I have crossed 50 and don't really go in for gifts for each other anymore. I suspect that maybe 60 will prove an exception. Decades seem more important than other years, largely due to the number of toes our species normally sports.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
I should add that I have similar, but milder, humbug feelings about the children's birthdays. They're going through the "invite 20 or 30 friends" stage, which means they get way more stuff than they need or can actually use (although they enjoy opening the presents and getting excited about them), and the reciprocal invitations mean that every week or two we make our contribution to the storage closet in another family's basement.
Some friends had a "make a donation to the local food pantry" party for their two-year-old a couple of years ago, because they had plenty of stuff, and he didn't catch on that the big pile of presents he opened were big brother's old toys wrapped up again. He's now older and wiser, and won't be fobbed off like that again ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Leo, official old grouch.
[ 28. May 2013, 23:32: Message edited by: Leorning Cniht ]
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Emendator Liturgia:
Whilst certainly not universalist, here in OZ the 0's are very often celebrated big time
Oh yes, I agree about the 0s, maybe also 65 because it's retirement age and in USA it's Medicare age and (until recently) was Social Security pension age.
I don't usually see people making a big deal out of, say, 52 or 73.
I think the idea that we all have plenty of stuff and the size gift a friend would buy, if we wanted it we'd have bought it, is a reason for the sharp reduction in wanting gifts. Also the combination of too much stuff and if they wanted it they'd buy it makes it hard to think of a gift to offer. And in my circle there are some folks on a really tight budget who can't afford to come to the party they have to buy a gift.
If I throw a birthday party for myself (no one else is going to go to the trouble and expense for me!) I specify "no gifts but your presence" which is supposedly bad manners, to mention gifts, but some friends have said they felt relieved when they read that. A few bring something anyway - a bottle of wine, a small art thing they made, a t-shirt with a saying that made them think of me.
Most parties I go to nothing is said, sometimes it's not even advertised as a birthday party although the date is chosen for that reason and friends know the date's significance. There will be a few gifts on a table off to the side, not opened at the party.
[ 29. May 2013, 00:02: Message edited by: Belle Ringer ]
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
If I had missed any of my late mother's birthdays she would have been very upset. She was not an aquisitive person, but she grew up in the Depression which coloured many of her attitudes. It didn't have to be big, a pretty hankie, something I had made or garden flowers were as welcome as anything expensive.
Apart from family, I only exchange gifts with two friends now and both are over 50.
I don't enjoy parties so I don't have them.
Huia
[ 29. May 2013, 03:36: Message edited by: Huia ]
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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M.
Ship's Spare Part
# 3291
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Posted
With my family, Macarius and I have a 'no presents after 18' rule, but I suppose do make occasional exceptions (like mum's 90th).
We don't get presents either from my family and are trying to get to the same position with his.
We might occasionally buy each other something for birthdays, but if so, it would be a small silly thing (eg, Macarius bought me a box of dalek fridge magnets for my last birthday. I was thrilled!)
M.
Posts: 2303 | From: Lurking in Surrey | Registered: Sep 2002
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daisydaisy
Shipmate
# 12167
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Posted
I've not heard of this rule before. My close friends and I tend to give each other smellies, something we made or something from our travels that shows we thought of them.
Certainly the '0s get marked, but so do the in-between ages but at a more modest and gentle way.
Posts: 3184 | From: southern uk | Registered: Dec 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
If one has some interests or, dare I say, hobbies, then that takes care of gifts at any time. I generally get something bookish, a few useful things (does any man have enough socks? OK, that might not apply in Australia and similar places), and something off-the-wall. Some special foodie something is always welcome (eg, an unusual cheese).
No tools please. It's like buying your wife an iron.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
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Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
No tools please. It's like buying your wife an iron.
Why shouldn't your wife buy you an iron, don't you do ironing? A bit of stereotyping going on here methinks.
My niece is thrilled with tool presents, having built a Dutch barge a few years ago (yes, welding sheets of steel) and her own house more recently. I am handy with a hammer drill and angle grinder, but not as good as her.
We bought my 25 year old son a cordless drill for his birthday a couple of days ago. He was thrilled with it as he's just setting up home and is expanding his toolbox.
We often bought my Dad tools as presents and he returned the favour. If you are a woodworking nut a nice tool is a good present. It's far more of a hobby in our family than a chore.
Ironing is a chore. End of.
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
Flowers or a gourmet food item are appropriate for any age. (Obviously you need to know the taste of the recipient.)
Moo
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Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Mr Curly
Off to Curly Flat
# 5518
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Posted
The Festival of Mr Curly's 50th begins on Saturday with 120+ people coming over to Chez Curly for dessert, mulled wine and live music. It's another 15 days to the actual birthday. I think that after the health challenges of the year, I'm keen to celebrate enthusiastically.
Presents for decade birthdays would be a reasonable idea.
mr curly
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My Blog - Writing, Film, Other Stuff
Posts: 2645 | From: Curly Flat | Registered: Feb 2004
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
For family, it's presents whatever age. But usually when going to a friend's party, the person celebrating the event will let everyone know what is expected.
By far, the most common situation that I'm aware of is 'bring a bottle, donations to X charity in lieu of gifts'. This is a lovely idea because it means that someone gets to benefit from people's willingness to give, even though the party giver does not really need any more gifts themselves. Often the charity will be a cause particularly relevant to the party giver, so guests are very happy to donate.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Sioni Sais: quote:
No tools please. It's like buying your wife an iron.
Not if building stuff is the hobby. There are lots of people I know who really enjoy making handsome and useful wooden things like furniture, frames, birdhouses, etc. Hell, I'm a lightweight, but I'd be thrilled with the gift of a circular saw.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
If you're the kind of person who expects someone to fill a honey-do list, be it fixing the leaky faucet or ironing, then the tools needed to do chores for you are probably going to be taken as a passive-agressive hint. It's like men of whatever age who buy their significant others slightly sleazy lingerie—it may be meant as a compliment of sorts, but, at the end of the day, it's mostly a present for yourself with somebody else's name on it. However, tools for a woodworker/potter/glassblower are always appreciated; anything that feeds an obsessive hobby can't possibly go wrong. Or, better yet, store credit that lets us feed our obsessions—chances are, we know more about our weird hobby or literary interests than you'd ever want to.
Trust me on this one, it can be hard explaining to your family why you really and truly do want a $70 dictionary for your birthday.
As for birthday presents no longer being welcome or expected—pshaw! You might not have to be extravagant about it, and you can certainly get away with doing "traditional" presents that celebrate your mutual history you've gotten to have since you've known each other so long (see the abovementioned socks and gag ties), but fellow hobbyists and enthusiasts always have some knowledge of something to get their like-minded friends, and something good to eat, drink, or read that fits the recipient's tastes is never unappreciated.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194
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Posted
Here, again, in Oz... Presents are normal, after 50, in my circle.... Food, magazine subscriptions, handcrafted items, vouchers, plants.... Loads of things really.
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"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...
Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Emendator Liturgia:
Whilst certainly not universalist, here in OZ the 0's are very often celebrated big time (still have to wait a couple of years before my 60th) - and these invariably include presents. Our Community Priest reaches 70 later in the year and we'll be celebrating and present-ing, we imagine. His wife had a '0 a couple of years back with a lot of close friends around and was endowed with personal items, some of which were of a humour kind.
I second that 'zero rule' from my general experience in Oz. Beyond about 50 it seems people will generally put "no presents please" on an invitation. The most important part of the "no presents" part is that it is a request which is able to be completely ignored by family and close friends who will bring a present anyway.
I would certainly never say something like "usually the 50th birthday is the last one people routinely bring presents, so I thought I'd make it a nice one" to another person's face though, to me that sounds rude on two counts (actually saying it, and then linking it to that being a nice present). I hope the OP was only thinking that and didn't actually say it.
Likewise, I also think it's extremely rude for a person to act like they were entitled to receive a birthday present at any age, and I am glad I was taught this attitude of gratitude by my family from an early age.
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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?
Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
I have asked the kids, no presents for JB or I, except for Christmas. I buy myself Christmas gifts fort JB and give him a box to wrap.
If anyone bought me tools, I would be amazingly happy. I just love TOOLS! I'm a tool diva, so if I see one, I buy what I want. ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
For presents the kids have given me a spa day (HEAVENLY!) or a gift certificates for my favorite stores.
For my next big number birthday, I want to jump from a plane or go up in a hot air balloon. So if my children want to contribute to it, I'm up for it. ;-)
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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ye Olde Motherboarde:
I have asked the kids, no presents for JB or I, except for Christmas. I buy myself Christmas gifts for JB and give him a box to wrap.
If anyone bought me tools, I would be amazingly happy. I just love TOOLS! I'm a tool diva, so if I see one, I buy what I want.
For presents the kids have given me a spa day (HEAVENLY!) or a gift certificates for my favorite stores.
For my next big number birthday, I want to jump from a plane or go up in a hot air balloon. So if my children want to contribute to it, I'm up for it. ;-)
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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by the giant cheeseburger: [QUOTE]I would certainly never say something like "usually the 50th birthday is the last one people routinely bring presents, so I thought I'd make it a nice one" to another person's face though, to me that sounds rude on two counts (actually saying it, and then linking it to that being a nice present). I hope the OP was only thinking that and didn't actually say it.
Well, she thanked me for it again, I don't want her expecting a $150 gift from me next year! It was not intended to set a precedent, but to honor a milestone birthday.
Several of the responses have referenced family and close friends. I was thinking about the more casual friendships. When 50 people show up at a birthday party of whom 3 are family 5 are close friends and the rest are anyone else you've ever met - people from the hobby group, neighbors who moved in last month, some people you met a few times at church - my experience is only those few family and close friends bring gifts, usually sort of quietly.
But maybe I travel in strange circles.
I did try at one party to insist everyone *take* something from a pile of barely or never used stuff on my table, but most wouldn't even look, saying they have too much stuff already. I should have set up some games and turned the stuff into prizes. :-)
And there's the problem whether an invitation comes across as crass fishing for gifts. "I'm throwing a birthday party for myself (because I don't have a spouse to do it for me and I want gifts)."
One relative admitted later not inviting people to the wedding solely because they feared an invitation would sound like asking for gifts, and later realizing they really would have liked the company of more of us.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
I remember reading (Miss Manners?) that the proper way to get your wishes across on the gift issue for weddings and birthdays is to ask a close friend to spread the word about your expectations or non-expectations. For the recipient to do so sounds a little crass, since by bringing the subject up makes it seem that she expects gifts but that she is heading this inevitable bounty off.
A friend doing it makes it a little removed: "Well, I understand my friend is a little concerned that people will feel obligated to bring gifts, when what she really would like is just fun and good company. I think I'll just bring a card or perhaps some chocolates or wine. Something everyone can enjoy."
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
I turn 65 soon. I'm having a party, but I DO NOT want gifts. I don't need stuff. Hell, I've spent the last 5 years or so decluttering my house.
The only thing I want to do is have a party with my friends. And whatever relative who happens to live within an easily drivable distance. Which (happily in some cases) excludes most of them. I supply the food, the beer, the wine and the cake. If they don't like what I supply, they can bring their own stuff, but be prepared to take any excess away.
Adults in my family do not exchange gifts beyond a book coupon or a coffee mug at Christmas and then only if we happen to be together. Presents on birthdays are for small children and impecunious students, and those only if they find book coupons acceptable. Who can afford electronics?
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Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
For my Mother-in-laws 90th Birthday Party, we did a Roses for Grandma party. I asked everyone to bring her a card with a rose on it, or a single rose. Most people brought both. We had a vase of water waiting on the table. We made a scrap book of all the cards and she enjoyed looking through it over and over again. Other gifts people brought were a rose bush that we planted just outside her window, a picture frame with a rose on it, that we used for a picture taken the day of her party and a needle point rose picture, with her name and birthdate, which we hung on her wall. She loved the day and along with music and food a good time seemed to be had by all. When she died 18 months later people at her service told me how much they enjoyed being at her party.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I don't need anything, but that has absolutely nothing to do with it. A man can never have enough LED flashlights, multitools or neckties. And wearing neckties that clash with what you're otherwise wearing is acceptable style when you are doddering right? (50 is far to young a threshold for out to pasture, which is what this thread seems to suggest.)
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Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
I'm getting ready to turn 46 on June 18th and you can bet your bippy I want presents! But I don't want practical shite, I want FUN stuff: drawing pens, drawing paper, canvases, acrylic paint, a bunch of nice new Sharpie markers (the tips wear out so quickly as much punishment as I put them through), maybe a video game for our PC or Xbox 360, graphic novels, silly stuff from Archie McPhee... definitely not socks or new t-shirts (unless they're funny shirts from Archie McPhee!!). I think I shall always like fun gifts because a goodly part of my childhood was wrecked by two alcoholic parents and I didn't get to be a kid very long.
Anyhoo, most of the presents I give to family and friends just depends on what they like. Lately, I've been giving my drawings to lots of people who enjoy my style. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
It would not occur to me to show up at a birthday party for anyone of any age without a present.
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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nicolemr:
It would not occur to me to show up at a birthday party for anyone of any age without a present.
It is thoroughly Bad Form to show up at any party without some contribution (unless formally advised otherwise - see PeteC upthread). The intention may well be that the contributon be consumed, in which case it ought to be a) distinctive and b) of some quality. Vin Rouge Algerie may be a) but probably doesn't fulfil rule b).
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Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Surely part of the art of giving presents is to get the cost right. As a rule, if an acquaintance and invited to a birthday do, the gift should be about what you would spend on a meal out. More than this and you embarrass you host. If bringing or contributing to the meal then you really do not need to, food in lieu of present but if you must then something of the price range of the Pascal Penguin would be in order.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Adam.
Like as the
# 4991
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Nicolemr:
It would not occur to me to show up at a birthday party for anyone of any age without a present.
It is thoroughly Bad Form to show up at any party without some contribution (unless formally advised otherwise - see PeteC upthread). The intention may well be that the contributon be consumed, in which case it ought to be a) distinctive and b) of some quality. Vin Rouge Algerie may be a) but probably doesn't fulfil rule b).
I might be over-simplifying, but I noticed a pond difference on this. Growing up in England, that was certainly the protocol. In the US, it seemed to be much more that the default was for the host assumed the responsibility to provide everything needed for an adequate party and anything a guest brought should be an added bonus. Of course, this default is over-ride-able for a potluck, etc., but it did seem to be the default in terms of contributions to the party, as distinct from other gifts, which seem to be occasion specific (eg. weddings).
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Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog
Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003
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The Weeder
Shipmate
# 11321
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Posted
I give presents to children, but do not expect gifts in return. I am a grown up! And I already have loads of stuff.
Having said that, a friend always gives me something home baked, and 4 of my God-children (from one family) always give me something special. Last birtday, the littlest one only realised it was my birthday as his family were leaving their house to visit me, and brought me one of his favourite toy cars as a gift. He always wants to see it when he visits.
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Still missing the gator
Posts: 2542 | From: LaLa Land | Registered: Apr 2006
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nicolemr:
It would not occur to me to show up at a birthday party for anyone of any age without a present.
Nor me - unless they've specifically done the "No presents, just your presence" thing.
For a long time - perhaps because my circle of friends was younger and money/time was more of an issue - it was the accepted thing to "bring a pudding" when you were invited out for a meal. I went along with it for years but now feel slightly affronted when people declare that "I'll bring a pudding". Why? My cooking not good enough for you? The offer of "Shall we bring a bottle?" however, is always most welcome.
I love the rose-themed idea for a birthday - something really distinctive that doesn't put too much pressure on anyone, either of the financial or "what on earth shall we buy?" sort. I've never done, or attended, a themed party but they do sound fun. A while ago some people we know were invited to a "Sound of Music" themed one - wear a white dress or bring a kitten, that sort of thing.
Nen - now humming "Raindrops on roses."
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Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
I might be over-simplifying, but I noticed a pond difference on this. Growing up in England, that was certainly the protocol. In the US, it seemed to be much more that the default was for the host assumed the responsibility to provide everything needed for an adequate party and anything a guest brought should be an added bonus....
I plan to fly to northern California next year for my aunt's 90th. She is still in reasonably good health and lives in her own house with my older cousin being the caregiver. Dunno if we will rent a big room like we did for my grandmother's 80th at the Ambassador Hotel in downtown LA.
That said, I have a milestone birthday of my own next year and plan to invite 25 or 30 friends to the local pub and pay for the first round of drinks, finances permitting!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194
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Posted
My ministry takes me up some of the remotest mountains in Austalia.... Up the back of the Snowy Mountains. One of my most remote villages, of about 300 folk, has its own art gallery. I regularly buy cute pottery bowls and plates there for about $5 each. They make great little gifts, all the more so when I tell the recipient exactly where I bought said gift. They don't look like they were only $5, but like normal pottery at regular prices from the rest of Australia.
I know women like and use them, as I have seen that, but most folk get really interested when I describe just how far away the art gallery is. We get out a map and so forth.
Memorable gifts.
[ 04. July 2013, 23:15: Message edited by: Rowen ]
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"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...
Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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Augustine the Aleut
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# 1472
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Posted
I have found that the safest thing is to tell my friends that I do not want presents but if they feel compelled, they need to know that I like good cheese and decent wine-- I have found that this works very well.
Like PeteC and likely others, there is quite enough stuff around.
Posts: 6236 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: Oct 2001
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Haydee
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# 14734
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Posted
The Done Thing for parties of any sort, in my partying days, was 'bring a bottle'. This included birthdays, unless you were a particular friend and therefore got something additional.
Personally (40 this year) unless it is something either a) out of the price range of friends/family or b) so amazing I can't think of it right now, I would rather have slightly luxurious consumables. Otherwise it's just more stuff that I feel obliged to keep in a cupboard for a year or two before I give to a charity shop.
My favourite presents are experiences - when I lived in London I sometimes took friends to France for a day trip, for example. I still have happy memories of sleet and minimal visibility at the top of the Eiffel Tower, with a friend whose birthday is in February
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