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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Well done thou good and faithful servant (not)
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
What do you think St. Peter will say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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TomOfTarsus
Shipmate
# 3053
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Posted
To a Hindu fellow: "You again!"
(we need the smiley that ducks as rock passes over him...)
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By grace are ye saved through faith... not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ... ordained that we should walk in them.
Posts: 1570 | From: Pittsburgh, PA USA | Registered: Jul 2002
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
"Holy ****, you made it!"
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Anglo Catholic Relict
Shipmate
# 17213
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
What do you think St. Peter will say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome home. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 585 | Registered: Jul 2012
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
If it truly is the pearly gates, heaven etc., then probably something along the lines of "You should never have believed that Tom Wright".
Or, something similar to Spiffy's: "That was a close-run thing..."
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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South Coast Kevin
Shipmate
# 16130
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stejjie:
If it truly is the pearly gates, heaven etc., then probably something along the lines of "You should never have believed that Tom Wright".
Ha ha, I was just wondering what Tom Wright would make of this thread!
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My blog - wondering about Christianity in the 21st century, chess, music, politics and other bits and bobs.
Posts: 3309 | From: The south coast (of England) | Registered: Jan 2011
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cattyish
Wuss in Boots
# 7829
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Posted
"You're in for a surprise; look who's here!"
Posts: 1794 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jul 2004
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
I'm hoping for this.
"Well done, good and faithful servant. You failed in everything you set out to achieve with honesty, integrity and a good deal of kindness and grace."
I'm working on it.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Pete, wouldn't you rather be in Hell, greeting all your friends?
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
He'd take one look at the stairway to Heaven I'd been climbing up and declare 'You've bought it!'
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
"... and on the other side of that wall are the Roman Catholics. They don't know the rest of us are here yet"
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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nickel
Shipmate
# 8363
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Posted
Don't know. I'm hoping to go in by the kitchen door, because that's where most of my loved ones will be hanging out. So if it has to be pearly gates and St Peter, I'd like him to say "Yup, free pass for Nickel. Just over there, down the side garden and up those steps. You'll find everyone in there." That would do.
Posts: 547 | From: Virginia USA | Registered: Aug 2004
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
"Must you park that noisy thing there?"
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
"We had bets on whether you would ever learn or not. I won."
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
"Tell you what, I'll give you front seats when the next atheist arrives here. I promise you, you'll love to see the look on their faces!"
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194
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Posted
Sit down, and I will get you some tea. With milk?
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"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...
Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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rugasaw
Shipmate
# 7315
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Posted
The elevator down is that way.
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Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children. -Unknown
Posts: 2716 | From: Houston | Registered: Jun 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
"Well, I guess that, under rule 503(c), we technically have to let you in, though I, for one, wasn't too happy about it. Voted against you, just so you know. Congratulations, I guess. You get the seat next to Jerome for all eternity. You know, not to sway your decision or anything, but you do have your choice of afterlives; it's not too late to commit an unforgivable blasphemy or two. Just a hint."
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169
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Posted
"As if. Next!"
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
"surprise! We knew you'd enjoy the other place so much, so..."
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
We have been waiting a long time for you to get here.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
"We got a pool going as to how long it will take you to find something to bitch about here."
"And play faster, Wright."
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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QLib
Bad Example
# 43
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Posted
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust -
If the Devil won't have you, the good Lord must.
<followed by a long sigh>
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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Welcome! You can walk around anywhere you like, but don't go on that little cloud there. It's being kept especially for the ex-gays. We haven't had any yet, but it's being kept just in case.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
"Hello there, all your ideas about God have been exactly right."
To the next conservative evangelical coming in: "Hello there, all your ideas about God have been exactly right."
To the next woolly liberal coming in: "Hello there, all your ideas about God have been exactly right."
To the next high-candle Catholic coming in: "Hello there, all your ideas about God have been exactly right."
To the next atheist coming in: "Hello there, all your ideas about God have been exactly right."
Etc...
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
"Ah, you must be here to fix the computers. Just a moment, and I will get someone to look after you."
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
"Sorry, I don't seem to have any record of you on my list. Are you sure that's how you spell your name?"
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Hey dude, here's a cider. The pool's that way, the bar's over there. And don't forget the daily entertainment when we all take the piss out of all the fundie bastards who thought none of us would be here ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
Nice try, dreamer, but you can't join our choir either.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Scots lass
Shipmate
# 2699
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Posted
A loooong look over the glasses to make sure I really am that person.
"I always thought you were taller. And your hair wasn't that colour after all. Interesting. Come on in."
Posts: 863 | From: the diaspora | Registered: Apr 2002
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
Who are you?
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
"Hey, how do you like my Pearly Gates? Ain't they the campest thing you ever saw?!?!"
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
<tangent> Can't think why Bill and Melinda passed up on naming one of their weans... </tangent>
[ 03. August 2013, 11:37: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
I suspect the lines something along the lines
The kettle is over there if you want a cup of tea help yourself, by the way you are on praise duty next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and for all eternity. While you at it would you mind sorting out the fire precautions for the use of candles at Pentecost.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
Hopefully (and to quote C S Lewis)
"The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275
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Posted
You've got the "mug" tattoo on your forehead. Can you just hold these keys for a few moments while I pop to the loo?
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If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?
Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002
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ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
I suspect the lines something along the lines
The kettle is over there if you want a cup of tea help yourself, by the way you are on praise duty next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and for all eternity. While you at it would you mind sorting out the fire precautions for the use of candles at Pentecost.
Jengie
Which perversely proves the veracity of my observation that going to church is mostly intended to prepare us for the other place, just in case.....
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Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
"How's it hanging?"
Sorry! My roommate told me that that's what she prayed for her first prayer when she was an adult and joined a really cool church. The preacher said to just talk to God as if He were a friend you hadn't seen in a long while and ask Him anything. Presumably, you could ask Pete too?
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
Ooops! I messed up my previous post. Forgive me, won't you, St. Peter and Shippies? I'm sick with a bad cold and really should be in bed and not attempting any kind of semi-intelligent discourse with anyone...
will return when healthy... snuffle snuffle groan.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275
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Posted
I thought that was a good one.
ETA That is my response to The5thMary's posts, not what I thinks StP will say to me as I have already given my ideas on that and I have no intention of turning up twice.
[ 03. August 2013, 19:35: Message edited by: The Rogue ]
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If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?
Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
I can't even imagine pearly gates, much less a 2,000 year-old St. Peter. But if it turns out I'm wrong, I'm pretty sure the greeting will consist of the Gatekeeper rolling his eyes, heaving a soulful sigh and muttering, "There goes the neighborhood."
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
"Hey, you're gonna love these..." (Files through his record collection and hands me a stack, including whatever Johnny Cash has been up to these last few years, among others.) ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
Passport please. Do you have anything to declare? Are you carrying any drugs, contraband, fruit, alcohol etc. Did you pack your own case and do you know what is in it? Did you apply for a visa to enter Heaven? Please stand over there while we investigate your right to enter.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
"In case you didn't know, we're universalists. You're bunking with Stalin."
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:
"Replay? Y/N"
One of my favourites so far!!
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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