Ship of Fools: T-shirt slogans

Thread: T-shirt slogans Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Angloid (# 159) on :

Being the shrinking violet type of person, I have rarely dared to wear a T-shirt with any kind of slogan. But I occasionally see ones that I would love to wear, as well as many that I would need industrial quantities of courage for. Just two that I have seen recently, to start us off:

'I'd rather be Grumpy than Dopey'
'I'm Italian: I can not Stay Calm'

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Many years ago at a union conference I saw a young woman wearing a Tee with the slogan:

"How dare you presume I'm heterosexual"

There are also a few round Newport that say:

"Come to Newport. We've got a trannie"

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

I used to have one that read: "Eat right, exercise, die anyway."

And another with a picture of a Stealth fighter jet and the words "Stealth Condoms." On the back, the words: "They'll never see you coming!"

I used to wear both often (but the second one, not to choir practice) but they've long since been relegated to the rag bag.

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

Back in the 80s when thousands of self righteous people were wearing tee shirts with the slogan "I ran the world" emblazoned across the front and "the race against time" across the back, I had one with a similar logo with the slogan "I dRANk the world" with "The race against time - 11.00 closing" on the back.

I now have one that says "Keep calm, I'm a Driving Instructor". There's another one I've seen that I want to get that reads "you don't scare me - I'm a Driving Instructor"

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

My parents went to Hawaii when I was a kid, and brought me back a t-shirt, emblazoned with the picture of a cat holding a smoking gun. This feline somewhat resembled the one that Pepe Le Pew was always chasing in the cartoons, though I don't think that was an intentional allusion.

The caption below the cartoon consisted of the first three words that you can see here.

Wore that to school a few times. Got told by someone what it could mean. Went home and told my mom, who replied "Oh yes, but I don't think that's what it means there". Different generation, I guess.

Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :

I have a shirt that bears one of the many Mythbusters mottos:

"Failure is always an option"

It easily gets more comments than any other shirt that I have ever worn. Even more than the Alaska shirt showing a bear and the legend: "Send more tourists. The last ones were delicious."

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I've always preferred people to pay attention to my face rather than my chest.

Possibly though I would wear one that said 'If you can read this you're too close'. In 60pt.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Or the line from Auden: 'I have no gun, but I can spit'.

Posted by Touchstone (# 3560) on :

"Frankie Says....Anything Paul Morley tells him to say"

(a tee owned by a schoolfriend, 1985 or thereabouts)

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

I used to have a "Romney Marsh Mountain Rescue" and wanted to add "Goodwin Sands Potholing Club" but couldn't find it.

The Marsh
The Sands

That was years ago, but look what I found!

Potholers

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:

Potholers

That link is not worksafe!

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

There's something weird about the potholers link when I first clicked it, it took me a mildly obscene cartoon, hence my post above. When I just tried it again, it took me to an advert for a mobile phone. Whatever it is, I don't think it's what was intended!

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

It might just be you, Spike. I've tried the link and I don't get anything but a bright yellow webpage for the Goodwin Sands Potholing Club.

I don't know what other people make of it, but I'm going to run some anti-spyware on my pc in case anything's sneaked in by the back door.

Posted by mrs whibley (# 4798) on :

I'd like a tee with the slogan once proposed here:
'It's all fun and games until someone attempts to imminentise* the Eschaton.' [Big Grin]

*had several goes at spelling this - still doesn't look right.

Posted by HCH (# 14313) on :

I saw a young man wearing a T-shirt that said
Event Staff". I suspect he wears it to a lot of events.

Posted by mrs whibley (# 4798) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
It might just be you, Spike. I've tried the link and I don't get anything but a bright yellow webpage for the Goodwin Sands Potholing Club.

I don't know what other people make of it, but I'm going to run some anti-spyware on my pc in case anything's sneaked in by the back door.

I got what Spike got, FWIW.

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Many years ago at a union conference I saw a young woman wearing a Tee with the slogan:

"How dare you presume I'm heterosexual"

There are also a few round Newport that say:

"Come to Newport. We've got a trannie"

I don't know whether 'I [heart]s NP' (if you can picture that) ever made it onto a T shirt.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I got Women Wanting Sex within a 10 mile radius of me, with a picture of a naked lady.

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

I'm just getting the Godwin Sands people.

Even my internet surfing is boring...

Posted by Mudfrog (# 8116) on :

I got the yellow potholing club site

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Could be browser-dependent, perhaps?

Let's assume it isn't work-safe, then.

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

Maybe. I've tried it in Internet Explorer and Firefox so far and got the same result.

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

There used to be an amazing tee shirt shop in Bath. One favourite read "The little voices told me to stay at home and polish up my axe", also "You're only jealous because the little voices are talking to me"
Lord P has a "Shwmai Byt" (Sort of equivalent to "Hiya mate" tee shirt from Cowbois, which specialises in Welsh slogans ("I'm not English, I'm Welsh" in various languages, for example) and also a couple of Despairwear teeshirts from Despair.com.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

My favourite was one a friend used to wear. It had a map of a rural area on it and the place name 'Llareggub'. Apparently, according to her, I was the only person who got it - or at least the only person to comment.

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

I know sweet Fanny Adams about Welsh place names...

Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :

2 T shirts I hanker after ;
"So many books, so little time"
which I think belonged to the staff of a bookshop, and
"One Year Out!"
which you can only get by being the loser on Radio 2's Popmaster quiz.
I may have to go on again...

Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :

My current favorite t-shirt is from the web comic www.xkcd.com

It says "Maybe if this shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me."

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:
I know sweet Fanny Adams about Welsh place names...

Llareggub is more Rosie Probert than Fanny Adams.

Posted by Barefoot Friar (# 13100) on :

I'm going to create my own. A picture of a smoking thurible, with the words: "I smoke in church."

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

This one will probably still need to be worn for a while yet.

I once designed a t-shirt made of [Angel]

and

symbols in a long line around the centre of the t-shirt. Perhaps that one should be entitled 'Nogood Boyo'?

Posted by Angloid (# 159) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:
I know sweet Fanny Adams about Welsh place names...
Llareggub is more Rosie Probert than Fanny Adams.

Clue: try spelling it backwards. And think Dylan Thomas.

Posted by Higgs Bosun (# 16582) on :

"So many cats - so few good recipes"

Posted by AngloCatholicGirl (# 16435) on :

My favourite t-shirt had 'I used to have superhuman powers, but my therapist took them away.'
Sadly that shirt eventually wore out. My friend had 'don't make me get my flying monkeys' from the same (now sadly closed) store.

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

quote:
Originally posted by AngloCatholicGirl:
Sadly that shirt eventually wore out. My friend had 'don't make me get my flying monkeys' from the same (now sadly closed) store.

I'm sure I've seen that on a magazine advert for an online store. Bet you could still get one.

One of the best T-shirt shop at the moment is Red Molotov ; I'm currently wearing this.

Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :

REUNITE GONDWANALAND (with a suitable graphic) was popular at a gathering of geomorphologists.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

While this was produced for the John Martin exhibition, it's a good one to wear to seismology meetings.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
While this was produced for the John Martin exhibition, it's a good one to wear to seismology meetings.

Sorry, Firenze, that brings up the list of search results, and I'm not sure which one you wanted to link to.

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Could be browser-dependent, perhaps?

Let's assume it isn't work-safe, then.

I just get the yellow page. Am using Safari.

Posted by Snags (# 15351) on :

I fluctuate between slogans,and plain, now I'm an Old Pharte.

Favourites for church have to be "no I will not fix your computer" and on that says, in a column:

Never
No
Maybe
Yes
Always

which sums up my usual position on being asked to do yet something else. Although the Tyrell Corporation Genetic Replicant shirt gets most comments.

Now my self-restraint has got worse I have to apply the "church test" to any tee I want to buy (would I lead a service wearing it). Which is why I will sadly never buy "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're a <unheavenly word>" which has always appealed to me.

Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :

Many years ago, there was an advertisement prevalent for the Milk Marketing Board with a picture of a well endowed blond in a tee shirt with 'Drink a Pinta Milk a Day' strategically across her chest.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
While this was produced for the John Martin exhibition, it's a good one to wear to seismology meetings.
Sorry, Firenze, that brings up the list of search results, and I'm not sure which one you wanted to link to.

How about this?

(Damn you, dynamic web content)

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Angloid:

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:
I know sweet Fanny Adams about Welsh place names...
Llareggub is more Rosie Probert than Fanny Adams.
Clue: try spelling it backwards. And think Dylan Thomas.

She was.

Posted by Chamois (# 16204) on :

Cambridge University engineering society T shirt from the 70s:
"It takes a crank to start a revolution"

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Many years ago, there was an advertisement prevalent for the Milk Marketing Board with a picture of a well endowed blond in a tee shirt with 'Drink a Pinta Milk a Day' strategically across her chest.

I remember the ad, but I'd never thought of it like that!

Posted by Wet Kipper (# 1654) on :

I have one which says
(Front)"This is my..."
(Back) "...Last Clean T-Shirt"

and take delight in wearing it on the 2nd day of week-long camping , e.g. Soul Survivor/Greenbelt type events.

One of my colleagues was wearing a good one on Friday:
"Crumpled on Purpose"

And I also like the look of this one:
expressing individuality

Posted by alienfromzog (# 5327) on :

This website: Snorg Tees has sooooooooooo many that I want.

My favourites include:
Schroedinger's Cat
Dear Math, I am not your therapist...
If you're not part of the solution...
I only like NY as a friend
The I (heart)(heart) Gallifrey one
If you believe in telekinesis...
It's not rocket surgery

And many more...

AFZ

Posted by Yonatan (# 11091) on :

My girlfriend once had a T-Shirt made for me which had "Nurse of Mental Health....." on the front, and "Dr of Luurve" on the back. Apparently it produced a few sniggers when she was getting it made. Another favourite is my "Trust me I'm a Jedi" T-shirt.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

My all time favourite, sadly no longer, was:

You call it Sodomy, We call it FABULOUS

Posted by cheesymarzipan (# 9442) on :

I like dinosaurs...

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

There are two astronomy ones I like.

"Astronomy is looking up"

Black holes are out of sight"

Moo

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

Twenty years ago, at the time of a further step change in the development of the EU, I knew a rather posh old chap who had one made saying "Europe Won't Work"- although as he explained 'I actually wanted one saying "Bollocks to Maastricht" but it seemed a little rude to ask the girl in the shop for that'.

Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :

I have two I really like, one reads, "Genius by Birth, Slacker by Choice," and the other, "The Force Is Strong In This One"

My buddy had one that his wife made him get ride of. It was bright yellow with the words "Ask me about my cock" printed on the front. When asked, you could pull the front of the shirt up over your face to display a graphic of a rooster. For some reason, his wife didn't not find this at all amusing...

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Am I sorry about those tangents - all I got was the Potholing Club - but I did briefly note that they work with people who need to be worked with (can't be more specific, as I can't remember exactly - think they were young, though), and it occurs to me that they may have been hacked internally.

When I first came across the name, it wasn't attached to anything IRL at all.

Just double checked - got GSPC again - they work with people like the Duke of Edinburgh's Award scheme*, so can't be that bad. (*Or so they say.)

[ 26. August 2013, 13:00: Message edited by: Penny S ]

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Triple checked - using the links within the thread rather than my history drop down - still the come unto these yellow sands one. I'm in IE at the moment.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Triple checked - using the links within the thread rather than my history drop down - still the come unto these yellow sands one. I'm in IE at the moment.

I wouldn't fret about it. It may have been a DNS hack which was extant for a brief time but has now been detected.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

Saw one today which read 'Judge me solely on my size, will you?', which I liked very much.

Fortunately, the nearby church youth group 'Up4it' didn't get any t-shirts printed....

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

I still have two of my favourite t-shirts from my university days: Flash Architect from when I was an architecture student and Kamana Wanna Lei U which I wore in a photograph taken at a Hawaiian night club surrounded by seven girls!

They still exist because I never wear them as well as my Rolling Stones Bridges to Babylon tour shirt.

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

In honour of the people who were annoyed by the rather unlikely first-night headliner at Cropredy "folk" festival this year, the Knotweed and I made T-shirts with "Alice? Alice? Who the folk is Alice?" on the front and "Irk the purists" on the back.

They went very well, especially with Alice's fans!

AG

Posted by Pre-cambrian (# 2055) on :

I've got one with Oscar Wilde's words: "I have nothing to declare but my genius." And another I bought at the Great British Beer Festival years ago which says, "I used to drink Lager but I'm Bitter now." Predictably it's tighter than it was.

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Many years ago at a union conference I saw a young woman wearing a Tee with the slogan:

"How dare you presume I'm heterosexual"

There are also a few round Newport that say:

"Come to Newport. We've got a trannie"

A number of years ago I had a t-shirt that said, in bold letters, several inches tall: "Nobody Knows I'm a Lesbian!" LOL. Got some strange looks from people and much laughter.

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

I once saw a t-shirt with this printed on it:

"Duck Fiabetes!"

I sooooooo want this!

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
In honour of the people who were annoyed by the rather unlikely first-night headliner at Cropredy "folk" festival this year, the Knotweed and I made T-shirts with "Alice? Alice? Who the folk is Alice?" on the front and "Irk the purists" on the back.

They went very well, especially with Alice's fans!

AG

[Tangent]

Reminds me of the (alleged) Louis Armstrong quote: "Folk music? All music is folk music. I ain't never heard nuthin' by a horse."

[/Tangent]

edit: tangential nature of post, but it would make a fair Tee-shirt slogan too.

[ 28. August 2013, 12:03: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

A clerical friend does his gardening in a Quick, look busy, Jesus is coming T-shirt [Snigger]

As for the Alice furore, just quote the old musical hall favourite Alice, where art thou? [Yipee]

Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :

My favourite (don't have it, unfortunately) is:

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
those who understand binary
and those who don't"

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
In honour of the people who were annoyed by the rather unlikely first-night headliner at Cropredy "folk" festival this year, the Knotweed and I made T-shirts with "Alice? Alice? Who the folk is Alice?"
AG

If I am not sober, the band sings the original chorus and my lovely bride drives us back to the house.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

My brother-in-law needed a new T-shirt when he was in hospital, and I trekked round the whole of Bluewater (mall) trying to find something appropriate before getting him the Wilde one about nothing but genius. My nieces chose it for him to wear for his funeral. They liked the idea of him turning up at the Pearly Gates with it on.

Someone wrote to me the other day with a quote which would make a good T-shirt. "Smile, it could be worse" on the front, "So I did, and it was" on the back.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

I fancy owning a t-shirt with

TEESH
IRT

as a very small logo, top right, hopefully made out of Scrabble tiles.

Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on :

My Young Man bought me a tshirt at a wrestling event he went to. It says "Real Women Drink Beer" and I wore it to the Great British Beer Festival.

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Aravis:
My favourite (don't have it, unfortunately) is:

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
those who understand binary
and those who don't"

and on that note: Think Geek T-shirts There's a sale on at the moment to mark the week that Skynet becomes selfaware! Beware humans.

Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ArachnidinElmet:

quote:
Originally posted by Aravis:
My favourite (don't have it, unfortunately) is:

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
those who understand binary
and those who don't"
and on that note: Think Geek T-shirts There's a sale on at the moment to mark the week that Skynet becomes selfaware! Beware humans.

I have this one, as well as the portion of the Bayeaux Tapestry which contains the TARDIS.

Posted by CuppaT (# 10523) on :

There's one I want to get for my 20 yo son for Christmas that says, "You've read my T-Shirt. That's enough social interaction for today."

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

The undergrad philosophy club when I was in college had a t-shirt that said,

Sure, it works in practice, but will it work in theory?

quote:
Originally posted by mrs whibley:
I'd like a tee with the slogan once proposed here:
'It's all fun and games until someone attempts to imminentise* the Eschaton.'

*had several goes at spelling this - still doesn't look right.

I fondly remember that quote! Who said it, I wonder?

(It would be immanentize or immanentise, depending on your nationality.)

Posted by Rev per Minute (# 69) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
I don't know whether 'I [heart]s NP' (if you can picture that) ever made it onto a T shirt.

I have seen one or two, but as it's very close to the original, trademark lawyers for NY would probably come down like a ton of bricks on any sold in stores.

(And even as a native, I'm not sure I would wear one outside NP19 and NP20!)

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

I saw a nice one recently.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH
FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY

Moo

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:

quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
I don't know whether 'I [heart]s NP' (if you can picture that) ever made it onto a T shirt.
I have seen one or two, but as it's very close to the original, trademark lawyers for NY would probably come down like a ton of bricks on any sold in stores.

(And even as a native, I'm not sure I would wear one outside NP19 and NP20!)

I can think of any number of people who would wear it in Cardiff, just to put one over on the "Big City" types.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:
I have seen one or two, but as it's very close to the original, trademark lawyers for NY would probably come down like a ton of bricks on any sold in stores.

There are plenty of I (heart) SF t-shirts that are identical to the NY design (except for the change in letters).

I preferred one I saw in a shop window in Berkeley: "I can't afford to (heart) SF" - although that would probably only feed into some San Franciscans' smugness. (NB I said "some".)

(Edited to remove extraneous quotation)

[ 06. September 2013, 20:16: Message edited by: churchgeek ]

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Higgs Bosun:
"So many cats - so few good recipes"

A man after my own heart. [Snigger]

Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on :

All I got was this stupid F shirt

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :

I saw one at Greenbelt the other weekend which I liked: "My other body is a temple".

Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :

For years, until it wore out, I wore a tshirt, designed by my University residence association which showed a fellow making a sour face. The caption read:

Noli urinare in ventum*

*which, being translated, reads rather more politely

Don't piss against the wind

Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :

A good friend of mine has one which reads:
"Jesus is coming soon.....Look busy"

He delights in wearing it in a variety of situations and has ended up with some interesting reactions, especially in churches!

Posted by blackbeard (# 10848) on :

One is saw which I admired hugely: on the lines of

CHAOS
CONFUSION
DESPAIR
My work is done

Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :

quote:
Originally posted by MrsBeaky:
A good friend of mine has one which reads:
"Jesus is coming soon.....Look busy"

He delights in wearing it in a variety of situations and has ended up with some interesting reactions, especially in churches!

There's also
'Jesus is coming ……hide your bong!'
[Snigger]

and also
'I found Jesus -- he was hiding behind the sofa.'

Posted by The Intrepid Mrs S (# 17002) on :

I always wanted to get my son - an International Politics student -

'I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize'

but am now saving up to get Future Son-In-Law one which simply reads

YES DEAR

The secret to a happy marriage!

Mr. S wants one that reads

'Will mend computers for carrot cake'

though I prefer him to be paid in wine. [Devil]

Mrs. S, ever hopeful

Posted by kankucho (# 14318) on :

My thoughts about t-shirt slogans in a nutshell...

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=BOH-IBOUGHT&Category_Code=023

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

Two shirts, but

My twins have:

Good Twin or Evil Twin
?

Which, when they wear them at the same time can be entertaining...

Posted by Peter Green (# 17839) on :

I'd like a tee with one of these slogans:
"I just pegged you, this is crazy."
"Kick me, maybe?"
"Daddy's Fastest"
"Don't want me, yet? Have another drink?"
"I support single moms"

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

Seen in Dolgellau, N Wales, c 2005:

On front: Byddwch yn ddiogel ar y ffyrdd... ( =be safe on the roads)
On back: ...Prynwch tractor ( = buy a tractor)

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

From the Signals catalog:

I have an inferiority complex, but yours is better.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Aravis:
My favourite (don't have it, unfortunately) is:

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
those who understand binary
and those who don't"

On a related note:

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.

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