Thread: English as she isn't spoke Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Kasra (# 10631) on :
 
One of my varied duties is to language edit for a particular journal in Europe. The authors of said journal typically have English as a second or third language. This results in many papers which have English words, but, say, Greek sentence structure. So of course, there are some entertaining moments when the actual written line does NOT mean what one anticipates the author intending...

This got me thinking about creative translations... which can often be highly amusing.

I'm thinking of a favorite from a trip overseas, where "don't walk on the grass" became "littel grass is smilling slightly - please walk on pavement" (sic).

What else do you have to offer?

Kx

PS - I'm full of admiration for my authors, since my Greek (to use the example above) is atrocious. But there are times (like right NOW) when I'm tearing my hair out trying to fathom a meaning and a little gentle levity is Good.
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
"A Dutchman shall be driving no car here" - a reference to traffic etc when visiting us in Canada post the 50th anniversary of the Liberation of the Netherlands.

Also the same man said "my wife possesses gallstones" which we felt was very cute.

I remember from Guyana in the 1970s: "capsize the coffee [pot] alongside the cup".
 
Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :
 
I once had a Chinese cookbook translated into English which instructed me to hang my duck in my windy place. [Eek!]
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I was just reading a summary of Hungarian history in which, after the Uprising, people were punished mercifully. So that's all right then.
 
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
I remember reading once that a man at a dinner party announced, "My wife, she is impregnable," when he meant she was infertile.

These are funny, but I guess we would make similar mistakes in a language other than English.

[ 05. September 2013, 06:41: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]
 
Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
My favorite was on the english translation of a menu in a Syrian restaurant in Doha. Everything went down the list making basic sense until the second to last item: catnip in aspic.

I mean, sure, that could be a perfect translation and that's what they were serving....

My arabic was almost nonexistant so I decided not to ask for details.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I think it was a restaurant in Ljubljana which offered a sort of kebab, enticingly described as Gypsy Spit.
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
I once bought two cheap compasses, one large and one small. The packaging of the large one said, 'Always travel in right direction'. The packaging of the small one said, 'Always travel'.

After that in our family we referred to compasses as 'Always travel'.

Moo
 
Posted by Gwalchmai (# 17802) on :
 
My family were delighted to encounter chevre chaud on the menu in a restaurant in France, helpfully translated into English as "goat on heat".
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Some years ago a friend encountered the following in a small restaurant in the Basque country: Frid arse.

He ordered it thinking it would be steak but it turned out to be a local delicacy - crispy donkey's ears [Hot and Hormonal]
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Indian spelling of English can be pretty far-fetched at times - Cornflex for breakfast?
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Aren't they what the Queen eats?
 
Posted by Barefoot Friar (# 13100) on :
 
I had a shoe customer from Peru once who always was in a hurry.

"Time is clicking!" she would exclaim to her companions, if she thought they were taking too long in their selections.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
There are, of course, Gerard Hoffnung's letters from Tyrolean landladies - which may (or may not) be genuine.
 
Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :
 
I was going to be out in the forest in China, and we were told it consisted of "pan trees". We scoured our books on the flora of China and couldn't find any such reference.

On arrival the problem was obvious: we weren't pronouncing it with a Dixie accent. These were "pahn" trees, with pahn cones...
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
And here I was, thinking of kitchen food-cupboards and larders.
 
Posted by The Midge (# 2398) on :
 
This one has to be seen to be believed. It is a pond difference.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
I'm from LA, but I still know what that word means. The principal / head teacher when I was at grammar school was actually given that word for her first name!
 
Posted by hanginginthere (# 17541) on :
 
From the brochure of the Hotel Metropol in Dresden, in the days of the old DDR:

'The arrangement of the seat groups spreads an individual, intimate fluid.'

'In the rooms you will be enjoyed by nice reproductions of well known paintings.'

and from the menu:

'Half pheasant, as by the nice wine-dresser's woman'

not to mention:

'Our young team surprises you by dressing at the table.'
 
Posted by The Midge (# 2398) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I'm from LA, but I still know what that word means. The principal / head teacher when I was at grammar school was actually given that word for her first name!
It is the juxtaposition with 'warm and moist' that makes it a killer.
 
Posted by Gideon (# 17676) on :
 
A restaurant in Aix en Provence insisted on handing us the menu in English on which we were interested to find a number of dishes containing sprockets.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Very chewy!
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
A notice in a church in Budapest drew attention to the particularly fine puplit.

(It also told you that a bishop died while preaching in it in 1827. But not whether the congregation noticed.)
 
Posted by Lietuvos Sv. Kazimieras (# 11274) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I'm from LA, but I still know what that word means. The principal / head teacher when I was at grammar school was actually given that word for her first name!
As was John Keats' lady friend (her actual given name).
 
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Gideon:
A restaurant in Aix en Provence insisted on handing us the menu in English on which we were interested to find a number of dishes containing sprockets.
I have to ask, did you order any?
 
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lietuvos Sv. Kazimieras:
As was John Keats' lady friend (her actual given name).
The wife of Alfred Barnard, first whisky writer, , was the splendidly gynaecological Fanny Ruffle. What's really intriguing is that the euphemism long predates the words use as a name.

AG

[ 05. September 2013, 20:41: Message edited by: Sandemaniac ]
 
Posted by Gideon (# 17676) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Gideon:
A restaurant in Aix en Provence insisted on handing us the menu in English on which we were interested to find a number of dishes containing sprockets.
I have to ask, did you order any?
Being rather fond of pine nuts I think we did. Got to love a language that uses the same word for 2 such different commodities.
 
Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
A couple of years ago my sister and I were making up a bike trailer for her toddlers. We found ourselves laughing really quite a lot when the instructions told us to 'envaginate the screws.'
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
My favorite was on the english translation of a menu in a Syrian restaurant in Doha. Everything went down the list making basic sense until the second to last item: catnip in aspic.

I mean, sure, that could be a perfect translation and that's what they were serving....

My arabic was almost nonexistant so I decided not to ask for details.
Comet for Syrian president! She'll kick butt. [Overused] [Cool]
 
Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :
 
When I worked in medical publishing, we published a textbook on hysterectomies by an Indian doctor who was always ready with a quaint turn of phrase. The two methods of performing a hysterectomy are either to make an abdominal incision, or (his preferred method) to go in via the vagina. Or, as he put it, "the portal provided by God".
 
Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :
 
I think it was in an Iranian eating place I saw Foul with Oil.

It was a long time later that I discovered that they were Fava beans, and the oil would have been olive oil ( as served with hummus). A search for it now shows that 'ful' is the preferred spelling.
 
Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
A couple of years ago my sister and I were making up a bike trailer for her toddlers. We found ourselves laughing really quite a lot when the instructions told us to 'envaginate the screws.'
Sounds like something you could get an extra five years for in a women's prison.
 
Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
My favourite:

Coming across recipe for “velouté d'avocats ŕ l'orange et cumin", and hitting the ‘translate’ button, someone found that it was "Velvety lawyers with orange and cumin", and the ingredients given were "500 ml of orange juice, 2 quite ripe lawyers, 1 C with tea of powder poultry bubble, 1 C with table of ground cumin".
Oh, and when you start cooking, don't forget to 'remove the bark and the core of lawyers'.

GG
 
Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by Lietuvos Sv. Kazimieras:
As was John Keats' lady friend (her actual given name).
The wife of Alfred Barnard, first whisky writer, , was the splendidly gynaecological Fanny Ruffle. What's really intriguing is that the euphemism long predates the words use as a name.

AG
Does it? OED cites references only as old as 1879 for the British English usage and 1928 for the American English usage.

The name (usually as a diminutive of Frances) goes back much earlier than that Keat's fiancée had already died by 1879, and Fanny Crosby (Frances Jane van Alstyne - 1820-1915) was known as Fanny from girlhood. (And Wikipedia has a long list of holders of the name, many predating the OED reference dates.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:
I think it was in an Iranian eating place I saw Foul with Oil.

It was a long time later that I discovered that they were Fava beans, and the oil would have been olive oil ( as served with hummus).
I used to be forever seeing, in middle-eastern grocers, tins labelled 'Foul Medames' - which always suggested some cackling tricoteuse in a grubby mob cap.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:
I think it was in an Iranian eating place I saw Foul with Oil.

It was a long time later that I discovered that they were Fava beans, and the oil would have been olive oil ( as served with hummus).
I used to be forever seeing, in middle-eastern grocers, tins labelled 'Foul Medames' - which always suggested some cackling tricoteuse in a grubby mob cap.
Here's a recipe. It's OK if you like bean goo.
 
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 
quote:
no prophet: "A Dutchman shall be driving no car here" - a reference to traffic etc when visiting us in Canada post the 50th anniversary of the Liberation of the Netherlands.
I'm trying to reconstruct the Dutch phrase he was trying to use here, but I'm not really getting anywhere. Do you know what he meant to say?
 
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
Does it? OED cites references only as old as 1879 for the British English usage and 1928 for the American English usage.
Blimey - given that I looked it up at OED.com yonks back, that shows how your preconceptions can colour your memory. I stand corrected! [Hot and Hormonal]

AG
 
Posted by Aggie (# 4385) on :
 
About 20 years ago when I was at college, I used to work as a part-time demonstrator in various large department stores and supermarkets, inviting customers to try samples of food and drinks.

For the demonstrations where food was cooked before sampling, demonstrators worked in pairs, and one day I was paired with an Italian demonstrator, who was working in the UK in order to learn English.

The brief that day was to cook and sample a well-known brand of turkey rashers. These were new on the market at that time, and we had to explain to customers what they were, e.g,thin strips of turkey made to resemble bacon rashers, which could be cooked in the same way.

Unfortunately, the Italian demonstrator's level of English was such that she got rather muddled and invited customers to "come and try some delicious Turkish bacon." !!

[ 06. September 2013, 15:03: Message edited by: Aggie ]
 
Posted by Thurible (# 3206) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
Does it? OED cites references only as old as 1879 for the British English usage and 1928 for the American English usage.
Blimey - given that I looked it up at OED.com yonks back, that shows how your preconceptions can colour your memory. I stand corrected! [Hot and Hormonal]

AG
Nonetheless, it was certainly current when Enid Blyton wrote about Dick and Aunt Fanny.

Thurible
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
no prophet: "A Dutchman shall be driving no car here" - a reference to traffic etc when visiting us in Canada post the 50th anniversary of the Liberation of the Netherlands.
I'm trying to reconstruct the Dutch phrase he was trying to use here, but I'm not really getting anywhere. Do you know what he meant to say?
Not sure what the line was, but context was that he felt the traffic was simply too stressful and that he should not be driving. He might have said "should" rather than "shall". So perhaps the context of phrase would be "[the traffic here is so overwhelming such that I, a] Dutchman should avoid driving in it." We had picked him and his wife up in Calgary. He said a lot of, to us, amusing things, and we thoroughly enjoyed the visit. It was in follow-up to my in-laws going for the anniversary of the liberation. We went the mountain national parks with them (Banff, Jasper).

My father-in-law had been in their town in 1944 Appeldoorn with the Regina Rifles. There was a catchy rhyme he recited to our children when very young that he picked up there, something like "duh cobble's in de clinkah", which is the only line of that I can recall.
 
Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
We have one of those Italian hob top coffee makers - moka, is it? - with interestingly translated instructions. We particularly like the one that tells you to "strongly screw the little tank but do not prise on the handle".

Of course, the moral of the story is that you should always hire a professional translator... [Biased]
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Thurible:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
Does it? OED cites references only as old as 1879 for the British English usage and 1928 for the American English usage.
Blimey - given that I looked it up at OED.com yonks back, that shows how your preconceptions can colour your memory. I stand corrected! [Hot and Hormonal]

AG
Nonetheless, it was certainly current when Enid Blyton wrote about Dick and Aunt Fanny.

Thurible
I grew up watching the TV Fanny Cradock, which adds to the joke in the original link..

She was always assisted by her meek husband Johnny
 
Posted by Higgs Bosun (# 16582) on :
 
Many years ago, looking that the instruction manual for a Japanese dot-matrix printer, I found a table of codes which you sent to the printer to output characters for different countries. These countries included 'Engrand' and 'Itary'.

There was also a five line paragraph in the instructions which was one incomprehensible sentence.
 
Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :
 
According to a friend of mine who taught English in Sanda, Japan, there is a billboard on one of the approaches into town that reads (in English) "Please come on our beautiful city."

Standing in line for a fast-food restaurant he saw in front of him a young woman wearing a leather jacket which had the words "I am a very sleazy girl" spelled out on the back, in rhinestones. So maybe it was just that kind of place.
 
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 
quote:
no prophet: My father-in-law had been in their town in 1944 Appeldoorn with the Regina Rifles. There was a catchy rhyme he recited to our children when very young that he picked up there, something like "duh cobble's in de clinkah", which is the only line of that I can recall.
A belated thanks to your father-in-law, we owe much to these people.

I'm afraid that the line doesn't ring a bell for me. 'Clinkah' seems to be klinker (either "vowel" or "street brick"), or maybe it could be kikker ("frog") or knikker ("marble"). If I happen to find the words of this rhyme some day, I'll let you know.
 
Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
A friend sent a clipping quoting publicity material from Sardinia. Here is one sentence:

Thanks to the financings allocate you from the Independent Region of the Sardinia, the airport of Alghero Fertilia have supplied to the realization of the new know it arrivals endowed of new tapes give back baggages, to the adaptation of know it departures and to the realization of the centralized system of conditioning, beyond to numerous other investments

By he tenth reading I begin to have a glimmer of the writer's intention

GG
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
That's brilliant. I love it! Undoubtedly, it's from a know it leaflet. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Ricardus (# 8757) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:
I think it was in an Iranian eating place I saw Foul with Oil.

It was a long time later that I discovered that they were Fava beans, and the oil would have been olive oil ( as served with hummus).
I used to be forever seeing, in middle-eastern grocers, tins labelled 'Foul Medames' - which always suggested some cackling tricoteuse in a grubby mob cap.
There's a shop near here that sells tins marked 'Foul Lebanese Recipe'.
 
Posted by Hugal (# 2734) on :
 
There are several cafes and take always where I live. One cafe had posh eggs on the menu. Turned out to be poached eggs. They changed it when the mistake was pointed out. So posh eggs became pouched egg.
On of the take away menus that came through our door pointed out that, if didn't see anything we liked on the menu we should sak the manager. I hope they sacked their proof reader.
 
Posted by marsupial. (# 12458) on :
 
When we were in Hong Kong last year about the last thing we did before getting on the train to the airport was to browse the Dimocks bookstore in the International Financial Centre mall (which is also where the Airport train leaves from). Our one purchase there was a little book called "Chinglish", a photo collection of Chinese signs, mostly with some Chinese text and an approximate translation into English. . The first specimen, and the inspiration for the book, is a sign inside the passenger compartment of a Beijing taxi, the Chinese version of which reminds the passenger to collect their belongings (so I am told) but the English version of which reads: "Don't forget to carry your thing".
 
Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :
 
A sign in our hotel in Korea welcomed us to the "Land of the Morning Clam".
 
Posted by moron (# 206) on :
 
A guy's sig on a motorcycle forum I visit quotes a 1960s Japanese manual recommending the rider 'tootle vigorously' to warn dogs which is, I guess, sound advice.


Sorry.
 
Posted by Kasra (# 10631) on :
 
I am reminded of my favorite hotel/restaurant in the Middle East. I finally got them trained that I liked my red wine at room temp not cold... anyway, their menus were always a source of amusement. You could get "Chicken Gordon Blue", for example, or (a personal favorite) "Chicken Beast" smothered in a variety of sauces! I haven't been back in a while, but a visiting colleague reports that nothing has changed.

Kx
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by moron:
A guy's sig on a motorcycle forum I visit quotes a 1960s Japanese manual recommending the rider 'tootle vigorously' to warn dogs which is, I guess, sound advice.


Sorry.
When I were a lad, all of my motorcycles could outrun dogs, especially the big one with four cylindres. I did not need to tootle!
 
Posted by Niminypiminy (# 15489) on :
 
I used to live near to a Chinese-owned fish and chip shop. Portions of fish were advertised in two sizes: 'big' and 'large'. In the dark ages of, um, about twenty-five years ago that seemed hilarious. But with the arrival of starbuck-sizes (tall, grande and the like) it no longer seems so notable, alas. It was a great chippie, too.
 
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
When I were a lad, all of my motorcycles could outrun dogs, especially the big one with four cylindres. I did not need to tootle!
I'd love to see a big four cylinder dog.
 
Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :
 
There's a restaurant in Berkeley whose previous owner (now deceased) used to take pride in writing up his own menus. Trouble is, he was often too potted to bother to spell or proofread properly.

I have a copy of a menu from 2007 here. On April 3 of that year, a luncheon customer could feast himself on "Lemon thyme fettacinni with chicken, choriza, mushrooms, spicey maranaria sauce and pramasan cheese". Or perhaps a nice chicken breast with "cherry toamto relish". Also on offer were "chicken normandy with mushroom, oinions in a cream sauce with coucus and vegetables," some salmon medallions served with "tatar" sauce and served over "watercrest" salad, quiche baked in a "puff pastery" with "red pepper colius," a lovely tomato salad with "red oinons, baisl and goat cheese", and duck confit with "rassberry vinagrette."
 
Posted by Kasra (# 10631) on :
 
One of the local fast food joints on my drive home has recently been advertising the new "trukey and bacon" sandwich.

Old family habit, this critiquing of menus... my little brother would have had a field day in the above-poster's restaurant!

Kx
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
Sign in a deli window in the Brooklyn neighborhood I used to live in: "Freshly grounded coffee".

No pesky static discharges in my joe, thank you very much.
 
Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Sign in a deli window in the Brooklyn neighborhood I used to live in: "Freshly grounded coffee".

No pesky static discharges in my joe, thank you very much.
Maybe that's just a roundabout way of saying "No coffee to go."
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Sign in a deli window in the Brooklyn neighborhood I used to live in: "Freshly grounded coffee".

No pesky static discharges in my joe, thank you very much.
Years ago (and I wish I'd had a camera) I saw a restaurant advertising a "free picture of beer." It would have been delightfully cruel if that's what they actually meant. [Two face]
 
Posted by Rosa Winkel (# 11424) on :
 
When I was a permanent in Taize in 2003 I went into the kitchen and saw a list of instructions which included the words (bear in mind this was ten years ago, but went something like):

On Fridays we wear gloves against the creatures we don't like.
 
Posted by TheAlethiophile (# 16870) on :
 
I once ended up in a Korean restaurant in Jakarta (don't ask how) and having tried guava juice and decided it wasn't to my taste, I asked for some lemonade. Though I am a monoglot, I tried as best as I could to make myself understood. i.e. speaking slowly and loudly.

I ended up with a lemon, cut in 2.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Rosa Winkel:

On Fridays we wear gloves against the creatures we don't like.
That raises so many questions.
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
I ended up with a lemon, cut in 2.
When life hands you lemons....
[Biased]
 
Posted by Rosa Winkel (# 11424) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
I once ended up in a Korean restaurant in Jakarta (don't ask how) and having tried guava juice and decided it wasn't to my taste, I asked for some lemonade. Though I am a monoglot, I tried as best as I could to make myself understood. i.e. speaking slowly and loudly.
Travelling with Ukrainian airlines I reminded the stewardess that I had booked vegetarian food. She was puzzled and went away, coming back with a tomato and cucumber, saying "you said you wanted vegetables". (I mean, I could and did eat them, but still.)
 
Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
tangent/ Ukrainian Airlines has the dubious honour of having served me what was possibly the worst meal I have ever eaten. You got off lightly with the vegetables. /tangent
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by moron:
A guy's sig on a motorcycle forum I visit quotes a 1960s Japanese manual recommending the rider 'tootle vigorously' to warn dogs which is, I guess, sound advice.


Sorry.
This sort of English was common in the Caribbean, e.g. Trinidad or Guyana in the 1970s. I always chuckled at it because we also tootled, uh, er, related to bodily functions.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2
Bombing submarines.
 
Posted by ChaliceGirl (# 13656) on :
 
Some of the foreign-owned businesses have funny names, I spotted a "Pretty Mini Mart" on the way home. I would call a mini mart a lot of things, but "pretty?"

Hey, even native English speaking people misunderstand each other. I remember I was in my early teens, and someone told me they were doing a term paper on euthanasia, and I said, "How cool. I'd like to know more about how Asian kids live." It took me awhile to live that one down!
 
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
quote:
Some of the foreign-owned businesses have funny names, I spotted a "Pretty Mini Mart" on the way home. I would call a mini mart a lot of things, but "pretty?"
Several suburbs around here have shops selling cheap plastic toys, stationery, low quality soft toy animals etc.

The name of these shops is Morning Glory.
 
Posted by M. (# 3291) on :
 
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:

quote:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
When I was growing up (south of England, sixties), 'having a tinkle' was a universal sort of half-jokey euphemism that an elderly person might use to a young child. An by extension, the sort of thing you might use with friends as a jokey sort of expression.

M.
 
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :
 
This thread has a link to a t-shirt shop on ebay that sells 'T SHIRTS' and 'HODDIES'. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Cara (# 16966) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by M.:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:

quote:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
When I was growing up (south of England, sixties), 'having a tinkle' was a universal sort of half-jokey euphemism that an elderly person might use to a young child. An by extension, the sort of thing you might use with friends as a jokey sort of expression.

M.
Absolutely, yes. And then there was "spending a penny."

Though these are tangents, as perfectly correct if idiomatic English!
 
Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :
 
A trip to China a couple of years ago yielded a huge number of weird translations of public signage, such as:

In a hotel bedroom:

"Please do not worry if a fire is occurring. Our hotel have owned succour scattering facilites to sure you transmitted safely."

"Bustup, gambling, freak-out, wench and drink are strictly prohibited in the hotel."

At the entrance to a bar:

No drugs, guns or nuclear weapons allowed."

At a regional airport arrivals lounge:

"Wellcome delivers the personnel to halt."

On a China Railways coach travelling to Tibet, a list of the health dangers of the altitude:

(f) "Highly dangerous pregnant women."
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cara:
Absolutely, yes. And then there was "spending a penny."
But, of course, that is what one did in those pre-inflationary days. No "Superloos" then!

N.B. I read a good story about the toilets at Yarmouth station on the Isle of Wight. Back in the 30s there was a train which travelled across the island from Ryde. It took about an hour and had no toilets.

On arrival, EVERYONE uncrossed their legs and used the "facilities". The stationmaster rubbed his hands in anticipation of collecting a bumper profit. But there was only 2d: 1d each in the ladies and gents, as every "customer" had held the door open for the person coming after them!

[ 13. September 2013, 18:27: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cara:
quote:
Originally posted by M.:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:

quote:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
When I was growing up (south of England, sixties), 'having a tinkle' was a universal sort of half-jokey euphemism that an elderly person might use to a young child. An by extension, the sort of thing you might use with friends as a jokey sort of expression.

M.
Absolutely, yes. And then there was "spending a penny."

Though these are tangents, as perfectly correct if idiomatic English!
Here, it was often said in the past "see a man about a dog" (or horse). Also, "hang a rat" and "sit on the throne of thought".

?Perhaps this needs to be it's own thread?
 
Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2
Bombing submarines.
"Dropping the kids off at the pool"
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Can I suggest that we now wash our hands and return to Amusing Mangles of the English Language?

Firenze
Heaven Host
 
Posted by Anglo Catholic Relict (# 17213) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
I cannot speak for any other cultures, but imo polite English people would never refer to such a thing. As noted above, those heading for the 'ladies' or 'gents' are assumed to be going to wash their hands.

As indeed they are, we hope.

[ 16. September 2013, 15:11: Message edited by: Anglo Catholic Relict ]
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Can I suggest that we now wash our hands and return to Amusing Mangles of the English Language?

Firenze
Heaven Host
A reaffirmation of Firenze's Official post.

jedijudy
Heaven Host
 
Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 
Please don't make the hosts close this thread. It's an enjoyable topic.

Moo
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I read an article recently about an exceptionally bright student who was "in the Honor's Program" at his school.

Who wants to bet that he isn't bright enough to catch the error? (If, that is, he doesn't have a teacher whose name happens to be Honor.)
 
Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

Who wants to bet that he isn't bright enough to catch the error? (If, that is, he doesn't have a teacher whose name happens to be Honor.)
He might have a teacher named Honor, but is unlikely to have a teacher who is referred to as "the Honor".
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Reminds me of the (possibly apocryphal) inscription to the memory of a late wife 'whose price was above Ruby's'.
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
New typo from a friend

He shall his Lord with raptor see

[Killing me]
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
New typo from a friend

He shall his Lord with raptor see

[Killing me]
Maybe he'll be on eagle's wings.
[Razz]
 
Posted by Kasra (# 10631) on :
 
A similar one from CU days...

"If anyone has a bother in need, and does not take pity on him...."

(1Jn 3:17)


I always liked that - I have a younger bother of my own!

Kx
 
Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
I work in France and where I work does try to have bilingual signs but the one that always makes me laugh is a security gate that says in French, 'Swipe your pass here' and in English, 'Swipe badger here.'
 
Posted by Peter Green (# 17839) on :
 
I remember hearing a husband in Vietnam said to his wife "I no want salad again" when he meant he doesn't want to argue or fight with her anymore.
 
Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
Welcome to the Ship, Peter Green!
If you would like, we have a thread in All Saints where you can introduce yourself!

I'm glad you've posted in Heaven. It's a great place to get your sea legs!

jedijudy
Heaven Host
 
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
... a late wife 'whose price was above Ruby's'.
I read that lesson from Proverbs at my mum's funeral and afterwards my brother said that he'd had great difficulty keeping a straight face as there was a cousin of ours called Ruby in the congregation and he wanted to know what her price was ... [Snigger]

I'd like to think that Mum was chuckling in Heaven.
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Friend has just returned from China.

Visiting a ceramics factory, they were issued with overalls with a laminated pocket on the left of the bodice into which temporary visitor passes were placed.

They passed a sign which read Visitors must leave the breast exposed [Killing me]
 
Posted by helseth (# 17851) on :
 
Language issue has always been there. More common in football players.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Welcome to The a Ship, helseth.

There's an Intro thread in All Saints, but it's not obligatory.

Otherwise, the rules are few (see '10 Commandments' in the page banner), the company varied and the topics many.

Enjoy the voyage.

Firenze
Heaven Host
 
Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
A German client emailed me this morning telling me that some documents that we asked for are going to be sent "short-termly". I'm sure this is a literal translation of one of those fantastic composite German words [Smile]
 
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 
quote:
la vie en rouge: A German client emailed me this morning telling me that some documents that we asked for are going to be sent "short-termly". I'm sure this is a literal translation of one of those fantastic composite German words [Smile]
In this case, the word could be kurzfristigerweise.
 
Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
I have an instruction sheet from a Japanese company that's full of bizarre phrases for installing ball bearings (it's about thirty years old and things have changed since then). My favourite is "Shock to the balls is to be hated".
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Stercus Tauri
[Overused] [Killing me]
 
Posted by Rosa Gallica officinalis (# 3886) on :
 
At the ticket booth to pay for admission to walk around the walls at Monteriggioni there is a strict instruction: It is forbidden to spout rubbish over the walls.
We felt obliged to keep very quiet.
 
Posted by The Kat in the Hat (# 2557) on :
 
We stayed in a hotel in Ascona, Switzerland. In the room was the notice:
Open Air - smoking guests are welcome outside.
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
As many of you know, I'm bipolar. This means I have an illness called Bipolar Disorder. However, many in the mental health profession have developed the habit of calling the illness "Bipolar," leaving off the word "Disorder."

So once in a group therapy session, the therapist went into sort of a rant (though cheerful) about people saying, "I'm bipolar." "You wouldn't say, I am diabetes! Why would you say, I am bipolar? You are not your disease..." I replied, "bipolar is an adjective, though. My sister says, I'm diabetic; it's the same thing." "Oh."

It's weird what people do with words when they forget that they're abbreviating, or forget what part of speech those words are. Similarly, in the '00s, Republicans started referring to the Democratic Party as the "Democrat Party."
 
Posted by scuffleball (# 16480) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Gideon:
A restaurant in Aix en Provence insisted on handing us the menu in English on which we were interested to find a number of dishes containing sprockets.
I have to ask, did you order any?
It means pine nuts, apparently.
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
We visited a restaurant in a small town in Hungary where one section of the menu promised "dishes from wild" (i.e. game).

They were excellent and the phrase comes into our language whenever we have game at home, which is quite often.

[ 21. October 2013, 22:27: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 
Posted by scuffleball (# 16480) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Rosa Winkel:
When I was a permanent in Taize in 2003 I went into the kitchen and saw a list of instructions which included the words (bear in mind this was ten years ago, but went something like):

On Fridays we wear gloves against the creatures we don't like.
Stay too long in Taizé and your English will be strangely mangled. Taizé really has its own peculiar dialect of globish-English, half of which I have forgotten.

http://www.tobinski.net/christina/Taize/language/lingo.html

"Permanent" and "responsible" become nouns (and confusingly, "permanents" aren't permanent.) "Valuable" ceases to be a noun. "Cookie" also encompasses cakes and sweet pastries/rolls. "Barrack" means "Dormitory." "Welcome" often means... well... something else? Then there is the classic tailing "...no?" ("the Taizé no") which comes from Southern Europe, starting sentences with "also" or "maybe" or "like this" or "for me"... And I doubt the "tea" has any tea in it.
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Rosa Gallica officinalis:
At the ticket booth to pay for admission to walk around the walls at Monteriggioni there is a strict instruction: It is forbidden to spout rubbish over the walls.
Reminds me of a guide we had in Slovenia, who enthused about the rampararts. Also, as we were going over the Julian Alps, mentioned Hemingway's famous novel, Goodbye Weapon.
 
Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Hemingway's famous novel, Goodbye Weapon.
Love it! [Smile]

Cafe in Spain, many years ago, had a sign reading;
Man spricht Deutsch
Man speaks English

[ 22. October 2013, 19:15: Message edited by: QLib ]
 
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
Recipe for chicken and mushroom lasagne from the side of a packet of lasagne in my cupboard. I think probably Google translated or similar from the French.

Steps include:

'Cook the chicken in the water and the perfumed milk of laurel'

'make gild onions in the butter'

'Add mushrooms and make them some minutes return. Prepare a rather liquid bechamel sauce. Butter a dish of furnace; pay a fine layer of practical joke with chicken, a thickness of lasagne then a practical joke in mushrooms and finally a layer of bechamel sauce.

Superimpose the remainder of the ingredients in this manner.

Finish by the bechamel sauce, strew with worn cheese.

Recover of aluminium foil and cook in the furnace during 45mn.

A true delight'


Indeed! [Big Grin] I quite like the idea of a practical joke in mushrooms....
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
I quite like the idea of a practical joke in mushrooms....
You mix in some toadstools.
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
I can't even work out what a practical joke is meant to translate...
 
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
In French "puis une farce aux champignons".

Definitely the wrong choice of translation for 'farce'!

Anyone for some 'worn cheese'?

[ 22. October 2013, 21:56: Message edited by: Lucia ]
 
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
When I were a lad, all of my motorcycles could outrun dogs, especially the big one with four cylindres. I did not need to tootle!
I've never seen a dog with even one cylinder (or even "cylindre"), let alone four.
 
Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
In French "puis une farce aux champignons".

Definitely the wrong choice of translation for 'farce'!

Anyone for some 'worn cheese'?
Out of interest what is the right translation?
 
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
Well I think that a 'farce' when used for cooking would normally be 'stuffing' for example the kind you might put in a roast bird. However it seems to have been used to mean a layer of something here. My culinary french is not good enough to say whether that is a valid use. (Where is Eutychus when you need him?!)

It's possible that the instructions were originally written in the Arabic (I'm in Tunisia), then translated into French and then further translated into English! That might explain the slightly weird result!
 
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
I love some of the signs I see around the place which result from different sounds in the different languages being used incorrectly. The sign at the restaurant which offered 'Spaghetti Polognaise'. This is because Arabic has no letter P and therefore the Arabic letter B is normally substituted when there would be a P in the Latin alphabet. Clearly someone has assumed from the Arabic that a substitution had taken place and had helpfully put a P back when writing in Latin script!

Or the 'Mini Chop' (shop) or the 'Ships' (chips)to eat, which arise from the confusion between the French 'ch' being pronounced as 'sh'! [Big Grin] All good fun!
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
... The sign at the restaurant which offered 'Spaghetti Polognaise'. This is because Arabic has no letter P and therefore the Arabic letter B is normally substituted when there would be a P in the Latin alphabet. Clearly someone has assumed from the Arabic that a substitution had taken place and had helpfully put a P back when writing in Latin script!.
Or perhaps the "g" is the error, and they eat spaghetti while dancing to a Chopin tune.
[Biased]
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I have just had an SMS from an online dealer to say that my order has reversed - apparently they are unable to fulfil the order and are refunding the money to my account.
 
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
... The sign at the restaurant which offered 'Spaghetti Polognaise'. This is because Arabic has no letter P and therefore the Arabic letter B is normally substituted when there would be a P in the Latin alphabet. Clearly someone has assumed from the Arabic that a substitution had taken place and had helpfully put a P back when writing in Latin script!.
Or perhaps the "g" is the error, and they eat spaghetti while dancing to a Chopin tune.
[Biased]
Maybe! [Big Grin]
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
Alas, my favourite hotel restaurant in the hills has removed corn flaks from their menu.

They do have an "American breakfast" which includes porridge, two eggs any style (as long as they are overdone) toast and tea or coffee. Oh, and juice (usually orange)

This causes me to giggle as most Americans wouldn't know porridge (my sources call them cooked oats [Eek!] )

Despite that, the porridge at the restaurant is completely scrumptious.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
I love some of the signs I see around the place which result from different sounds in the different languages being used incorrectly. The sign at the restaurant which offered 'Spaghetti Polognaise'. This is because Arabic has no letter P and therefore the Arabic letter B is normally substituted when there would be a P in the Latin alphabet. Clearly someone has assumed from the Arabic that a substitution had taken place and had helpfully put a P back when writing in Latin script!
I dimly remember (from Cyprus back in the 1970's) that Greek is similar. There is a "B" in the language, anglicized to beta, but this is often pronounced with a "V" sound, so (I think) mega + pi gives a "B" sound. Then again time (and KEO beer) may have affected my understanding.
 
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :
 
Just what letter of the Greek alphabet is "mega"?
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Just what letter of the Greek alphabet is "mega"?
Did I mean "mu"? Probably. I did say it was a long time ago.
 
Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :
 
And sometimes it's not just the words used, but how they are said. For instance:
As tourists in Amsterdam we were being shown round a very handsome walled square with a number of separate houses. The guide, whose English was excellent, referred to this as a 'Be-gwinn-idge' (accent on 2nd syllable. It took some time to figure out that she was attempting to 'English' 'beguinage' (sp?), that is, a semi-monastic women's community. (The guide finally gestured to indicate a 'goose-girl' coif, and then all was clear.
 
Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
Well I think that a 'farce' when used for cooking would normally be 'stuffing' for example the kind you might put in a roast bird. However it seems to have been used to mean a layer of something here. My culinary french is not good enough to say whether that is a valid use. (Where is Eutychus when you need him?!)

It's possible that the instructions were originally written in the Arabic (I'm in Tunisia), then translated into French and then further translated into English! That might explain the slightly weird result!
Ahem. Eutychus isn't the only translator on the Ship... I've found at least one other recipe online where "farce" is used to mean "filling" rather than "stuffing.

One of my favourite false friends is repräsentativ. Sometimes it means representative, but often something more like prestigious. It's common for guide books and suchlike to talk about "the representative throne room" or similar.
 
Posted by Cod (# 2643) on :
 
Some years ago Mrs Cod and I spent Good Friday in Rotorua - appropriately enough, as it is a sulphorous place with a hellish nightlife. We went to a Korean restaurant, and as it was Good Friday, we chose Marine Products, being the only dish on the menu that didn't contain meat. It was mussels, eel and fish served in a spicy sauce, and wasn't bad at all.
 
Posted by Keren-Happuch (# 9818) on :
 
I've just remembered a Belgian-themed chain restaurant we went to in France.

The English language menu they insisted on giving us after hearing us speak to the KGlets offered as one of the dessert choices "pineapple: fresh or tasty". I assumed the "or" should have been an "and" but in conversation with the waitress, it transpired that "fresh" did mean fresh pineapple while "tasty" mean chocolate-covered.
 
Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :
 
Years ago we bought a bottle of wine in Crete (white wine, not retsina) which said on the label, "Wild but soft, likeable but nervous, made out of the most aromatic varieties of the island, it includes all that is gone with the wind."
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
Ah, yes, wine vocabulary. Reminds me of a cartoon I saw years ago . . . as a couple shake hands with the pastor upon leaving church, the man says, "Rather bland sermon, padre, but an amusing little wine."
 
Posted by Rosa Winkel (# 11424) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by scuffleball:
quote:
Originally posted by Rosa Winkel:
When I was a permanent in Taize [...]
Stay too long in Taizé and your English will be strangely mangled. Taizé really has its own peculiar dialect of globish-English, half of which I have forgotten.[...]
When I say I was a Permanent, I was one for a month.
 
Posted by M. (# 3291) on :
 
Years ago, we were driving in France - can't remember whether we were outside Calais or Boulogne - and came across a sign warning of a 'Dangerous Declivity'.

It is one of those ones that has stayed with us. It's just such a lovely expression.

M.
 
Posted by The Undercover Christian (# 17875) on :
 
On my flight back from South Africa last year, there was a sign in the toilet cubicle that read: "IN CASE OF TOILET IRREGULARITIES, PLEASE CONTACT A MEMBER OF CABIN CREW."
 
Posted by The Undercover Christian (# 17875) on :
 
Apologies for the double-post, but now I recall another magnificent sign in a toilet cubicle in Pretoria during another trip:

"TO OPEN DOOR - GRAB KNOB, PULL IT, AND SLIDE BACKWARDS."
 
Posted by Cod (# 2643) on :
 
Not directly relevant, but back in 1990 I travelled through Boston Airport in the US. On the way to the gate I could swear that I saw two signs for toilets "Gentlemen", "Ladies", and in the middle "Lobsters.

I have wondered ever since what that was all about.
 
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
An Iranian friend gets mixed up with words with more than one meaning and/or two words for the same thing.

Its great to have them in the car giving directions and hear "first road out at the next merry-go-round".
 


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