Ship of Fools: I have the power

Thread: I have the power Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

In a world where many of us probably find ourselves not in control of large areas of our lives, it's nice to find a little sphere in which we have control, where we're guaranteed regular minor victories, even if they only have significance in our own minds. One of my former professors called these rutabaga patches, after the part of his family garden that was apart from the whims of democratic family mob rule, and he could grow his rutabagas in peace.

I noticed last night that one of mine is getting all of the toothpaste out the tube before throwing it out. This probably saves me all of about 30 cents a month, but somehow feels much more significant from that. I take delightfully idiosyncratic satisfaction from the fact that I know that no toothpaste tubes are thrown out of my bathroom before their time is due. I can't save the world, but I can save toothpaste.

How about you?

Posted by moron (# 206) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
In a world where many of us probably find ourselves not in control of large areas of our lives, it's nice to find a little sphere in which we have control, where we're guaranteed regular minor victories, even if they only have significance in our own minds.

You can expand the sphere (unless you're an atheist).

Please carry on.

Posted by Galilit (# 16470) on :

Drying my laundry in the sun
(or by a wood-stove in the winter).

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

I never learned about how motors and engines work as a kid- we always just took the car into the shop. But when I bought a gas powered lawn mower, I decided it was time to finally learn how to take care of an engine on my own. I've performed my own oil changes, I check my own air filter every time, and it should be about time for me to learn how to replace the spark plug.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

[It's a good thing you're a priest, Hart. Married men squeeze their toothpaste tubes in the middle. It seems to be an unwritten rule. (Another rule is never ever putting the cap back on.)
[Biased]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Times - particularly when we are about to go away and everything has to used up - when there are only unlikely and/ or unappealing ingredients left in the fridge. And I make this totally brilliant meal out of them.

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
[It's a good thing you're a priest, Hart. Married men squeeze their toothpaste tubes in the middle. It seems to be an unwritten rule. (Another rule is never ever putting the cap back on.)

At risk of turning this into the hugest tangent ever, I am one of the biggest "start from the bottom" pedants on the planet, and my wife is a squeeze from the middle person. Part of marriage is picking your battles.

Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Times - particularly when we are about to go away and everything has to used up - when there are only unlikely and/ or unappealing ingredients left in the fridge. And I make this totally brilliant meal out of them.

I can relate to this one [Smile]

Mind you, the kitchen is pretty much my private domain generally on weekdays anyway, I work there and play with food. I so love creating with food.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
[It's a good thing you're a priest, Hart. Married men squeeze their toothpaste tubes in the middle. It seems to be an unwritten rule. (Another rule is never ever putting the cap back on.)

At risk of turning this into the hugest tangent ever, I am one of the biggest "start from the bottom" pedants on the planet, and my wife is a squeeze from the middle person. Part of marriage is picking your battles.

When I was married, separate bathrooms were the answer.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Using a chainsaw. And its kitchen equivalent, an electric knife. And sailing. And canoeing.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
[It's a good thing you're a priest, Hart. Married men squeeze their toothpaste tubes in the middle. It seems to be an unwritten rule. (Another rule is never ever putting the cap back on.)

At risk of turning this into the hugest tangent ever, I am one of the biggest "start from the bottom" pedants on the planet, and my wife is a squeeze from the middle person. Part of marriage is picking your battles.
When I was married, separate bathrooms were the answer.

much easier (and cheaper) to have seperate tubes..

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

It's a while ago now, but in my first place of work I had a special and wonderful connection with the photocopier. When no one else could get it to work, I could coax it into flawless reproduction.

Alas, it was only that one photocopier. I have a new one of my own now, and the bastard just does its own merry thing.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
[It's a good thing you're a priest, Hart. Married men squeeze their toothpaste tubes in the middle. It seems to be an unwritten rule. (Another rule is never ever putting the cap back on.)

No I don't! I've been married 35 years as you well know and I am just like Hart, trying to use it all up. My lovely bride will often replace the stand-up tube of Crest prematurely....

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
much easier (and cheaper) to have seperate tubes..

You don't actually think that the kind of person who squeezes from the middle is going to carefully limit his or herself to his or her designated tube, do you? Early on in my marriage, I got tired of never having black socks because my wife was always putting mine on on her way out the door, despite the fact that the heel must have come up about half-way up her calf. I suggested a system whereby we somehow mark her socks and my socks. She looked at me completely straight-faced and said (sweetly) "Honey, if this is going to be something that drives you nuts, we might as well just get divorced, because it isn't changing." Pick your battles. Toothpaste isn't one of them.

Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :

I can give really good directions. We get a couple of folks a week stopping by the bar looking for here or there or yonder and the guys will try to give 4 different sets of directions, complete with used-to-be's to some poor bewildered schlub from Michigan who's just looking to find out if he will eventually get to Memphis. I let the guys blather, then I do my thing. The guys always want to give the fastest route, or the most scenic, or the one that uses only back roads and gravel. I give the easiest to follow. It makes me feel good...

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

I can open a coconut.

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I can open a coconut.

As the only female in a household of males, I was the only person who could open any jar.

[ 01. November 2013, 02:22: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]

Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :

I am reminded of a comment from the booksellers of Slightly Foxed. "The secret to a happy marriage is a good bookmark."

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

I can pack for a week's travel in a bag the size of a lady's purse. I hate schlepping lots of crap so I've perfected this little art form. makes life so much more pleasent.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

I can untangle stuff. String, chains, whatever. My grandmother used to plop the tangled necklaces from her jewelry box in front of me and then go off to watch "All My Children" because once occupied, I would do nothing else until the necklaces were all free. It's fun.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I almost always get a seat on a bus/train that’s packed to standing. (12 years of commuting has to be good for something, other than an in-depth knowledge of which station outlet sells the best coffee and bacon rolls.)

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

This isn't about me, and this might not have a lot of resonance for overseas folk, but...

My mother is the most amazing koala-spotter I've ever seen.

Grey blobs high up in the grey-green gum trees, barely moving, and she says "there's one" while everyone else sees nothing. Whole carloads of people can be driving past looking grumpy because they've spent forever trying to find a koala in the damn nature reserve that's supposed to have koalas in it, and Mum just nails it. I don't know how. I don't have the gift. I'm in awe of the gift.

[ 01. November 2013, 08:05: Message edited by: orfeo ]

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Marvellous!

I have never seen a koala, not in a zoo or anywhere else. I hear they nave lovely, menthol breath.

But I am a good giraffe spotter! The first time we went to Kruger National Park I was only six. We were near the entrance when I spotted some. My Dad said 'we won't see any animals for hours yet' - it took me ages to make them all look! After that they believed me when I shouted 'giraffe!. It was the same the last time we did a Kenya safari, a couple of years ago - I saw the giraffes way before anyone else.

[Smile]

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

My cat is 12 years old and has never had much time for any of us, preferring the outdoors and the dog. He not only ignored any attempts at petting him, but also any cozy boxes or pillows I've fixed for him over the years.

But now he has diabetes, so while researching how to give him his shots, I happened upon a tutorial about how to make a cat bed from a sweater. The video was made by a member of that army of delightful teenage girls who make small movies of every single thing they do, whether it's painting their toenails or dressing their hamster in a hat. I think they're marvelous; all I did at that age was read gothic romances.

Anyway. I made the cat bed from an old sweater, put it in the garage, and he's sleeping in it!

Posted by Niminypiminy (# 15489) on :

I can map read. If you need to get through a tangle of West Country lanes from one obscure hamlet to another, I'm your woman.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

I can distinguish color differences that other people can't. I think I am tetrachromate.

I have the impression that I enjoy color more than most people.

Moo

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

I can do plumbing - seriously.

Maybe its growing up with a mix of late Georgian and Victorian plumbing but I learned then how to sort out rotted (lead) pipes and it progressed from there.

When we reconfigured the house I finally got to put the radiators on the correct walls and lead the pipes back to where the boiler was to be (prevented from legislation from fitting my own).

I've NEVER had to call out a plumber for a blocked drain and nor should you: 2 kettles of hot water daily and 2 tablespoons of soda crystals once and week and your drains will be fine.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I can untangle stuff.

Me too! I think other people can spot the untangler of the family/group. Everyone, my mom, grandma (when she was alive), D-U, other random folks...gives me their chains, strings, whatever to untangle and that's what I do. They use pins to try. I just use my fingers.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I can untangle stuff. String, chains, whatever. My grandmother used to plop the tangled necklaces from her jewelry box in front of me and then go off to watch "All My Children" because once occupied, I would do nothing else until the necklaces were all free. It's fun.

OK, I need you when I clean the thurible at work. Those chains get so easily tangled up and they're no fun to untangle!

For me, the thing that springs to mind (besides a personal superpower, mine being that I'm a "super taster") is writing poetry. I'm not claiming to be some master poet, or you'd have heard of me for it, but when I need to get control of things - my emotions, especially, but also my racing mind - writing poetry re-centers me in a way nothing else can. Especially when I need to settle into sleep at night and my bipolar brain is racing with negative thoughts.

RE: toothpaste-squeezing: Maybe Hart, due to expertise in getting all the toothpaste out of the tube, can attest to this; but I think it doesn't matter much where you squeeze the tube for the majority of its lifespan. Even if you've been squeezing it in the middle, eventually - unless you're made of money and not too concerned about wastefulness - you'll squeeze it out from the bottom of the tube, right? Too bad I'm not interested in marriage - this unconcern with toothpaste tube squeezing alone might make me a fairly agreeable spouse!

Then again, there's that whole bipolar thing...

Oh, I also had an opportunity to display a "Detroit super-power," as I called it, a few years ago in a bar in San Francisco. We (the bar patrons) noticed the reflection of a blazing fire in the window of a building across the street. One person guessed it was a port-a-potty someone set on fire; another person thought it must be a parked car on fire. I took a good sniff. "Nope, it's a Christmas tree" - it was late January - "or maybe some wood furniture." Sure enough, when someone went outside to check, it was a Christmas tree.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:

quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
much easier (and cheaper) to have seperate tubes..
You don't actually think that the kind of person who squeezes from the middle is going to carefully limit his or herself to his or her designated tube, do you? Early on in my marriage, I got tired of never having black socks because my wife was always putting mine on on her way out the door, despite the fact that the heel must have come up about half-way up her calf. I suggested a system whereby we somehow mark her socks and my socks. She looked at me completely straight-faced and said (sweetly) "Honey, if this is going to be something that drives you nuts, we might as well just get divorced, because it isn't changing." Pick your battles. Toothpaste isn't one of them.

Oh dear the two toothpaste thing works for us..

daughter pinched all the black socks, we retaliate by having different colours to black..

Posted by The Undercover Christian (# 17875) on :

Sometimes when I get jelly babies I pretend I'm auditioning them.

That may be an over-share.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

This evening, I managed to insert my (silent) names I wanted to remember, exactly in the correct alphabetical place in the (spoken) names of remembrance read out by the priest. And had a little smile to myself that it was so successful.
Such is the satisfying nature of my life. [Ultra confused]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Undercover Christian:
Sometimes when I get jelly babies I pretend I'm auditioning them.

That may be an over-share.

That is awesome. You are awesome. Never change.

{ETA: That is NOT sarcasm. Anybody who knows me will know I totally mean that.]

[ 02. November 2013, 03:32: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

I have correctly predicted the gender of every baby born to my family and friends for the last 15 or 20 years.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

I can fold, collate, staple, stuff envelopes -- you name it -- much faster (and more efficiently) than most people. This came in handy in my working years, and volunteer groups love me.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

I can fix small things, locks, cycle bells, pens which won't retract. My family call it "magic hands." No idea how I do it, just fiddle and think of something else, Kylie mostly.

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

Now why would you be thinking of Kylie when you're fiddling with something small, I wonder?

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
[It's a good thing you're a priest, Hart. Married men squeeze their toothpaste tubes in the middle. It seems to be an unwritten rule. (Another rule is never ever putting the cap back on.)

No we don't. Rolling from the end of the tube will force the past up to where our significant female has middle squeezed.

I am in control of my coffee input. I drink as much of the mug as I want, I do not have to drink everything in the mug.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

(tangent) I once did this experiment, few weeks ago, where every night I would squeeze up the toothpaste to the point where all the toothpaste was as close to the opening as possible. I did this for about five nights in a row. Every morning, when I took out the tube, I would find the toothpaste squeezed so far back down the tube that it was impossible to get any out without meticulously squeezing it all forward again. I finally bought my own tube of toothpaste.

I'm saying there is habit, and then there are people who just get a bang out of being obstructive.

This should probably be on the "Sensitivity" thread. [Big Grin]

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

Have you ever tried inflating a toothpaste tube by blowing into it and putting the top on quickly?

No, me neither. That would be disgusting. [Big Grin]

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

my kids are happy to tell everyone my "superpowers" because they think they're funny.

I tend to think of them as my "mediocrepowers".

basically, I can name every tune that came out in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and the first half of the 90s within the first two or three measures. most often I can also name the artist, despite how obscure a one-hit-wonder they were.

Apparently, I have wasted a shitload of brain filing space on this information.

my other one is that I'm a human compass. I always know where north is. I have no idea why. this does not translate into my always knowing where anything else is or having any concept of spacial placement, so I still get lost in unfamiliar cities or towns. I'm pretty handy in the backcountry, though.

Posted by Adrienne (# 2334) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
I'm a human compass.

Does this mean that you always wake up in the morning with your head towards north?

Is it OK that after doing my best with the toothpaste tube business, when no more squeezes out I cut off the bottom with scissors and stick my toothbrush in to get the last bit out?

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
But I am a good giraffe spotter!

I thought giraffes were already spotted.

I'm a fairly good dolphin spotter. Even before the guys with binoculars.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
Have you ever tried inflating a toothpaste tube by blowing into it and putting the top on quickly?

No, me neither. That would be disgusting.

You could do it through a cloth...

[ 03. November 2013, 01:22: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

OH, another grandma- developed superpower-- I am really good at polishing silver.

Comet, I have the same thing about West.

quote:
Originally posted by Adrienne:

Is it OK that after doing my best with the toothpaste tube business, when no more squeezes out I cut off the bottom with scissors and stick my toothbrush in to get the last bit out?

Hart, the gauntlet is cast!

[ 03. November 2013, 01:35: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Comet, I have the same thing about West.

well, that's interesting. some years back my mother decided to look into this. turns out we all have the ability, but few are sensitive to it. but get this - there's something in the pineal gland to aims us towards north - the migratory birds have it too, hence my bird nerd mother knowing about it - and it's based on iron concentrations in our noses. I shit you not.

which doesn't explain my "name that tune" mediocrepower, though. it's not like I have a brilliant memory otherwise. I once went to fill out a new intake form at the opthamologist's office and couldn't remember my name. I had to pull out my driver's license to check.

That was embarrassing.

[ 03. November 2013, 02:57: Message edited by: comet ]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

I think in my case I have just gotten really good at reading clouds and terrain. I think my gift is California- specific, too (Meaning if you dropped me in Anchorage I wouldn't have a clue.)

Posted by MSHB (# 9228) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Adrienne:
Is it OK that after doing my best with the toothpaste tube business, when no more squeezes out I cut off the bottom with scissors and stick my toothbrush in to get the last bit out?

Obviously super-genius is not one of my super powers because I didn't think of doing this.

Hmmm. Doesn't it get messy though?

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
I once went to fill out a new intake form at the opthamologist's office and couldn't remember my name. I had to pull out my driver's license to check.

That was embarrassing.

Quotes file! [Snigger]

Posted by Adrienne (# 2334) on :

quote:
Originally posted by MSHB:
Doesn't it get messy though?

Well, the whole thing happens over the sink, but not really. It helps that my paste of choice comes in a plastic tube that pretty much keeps its shape. Cut about half way along, there's two days-worth in there.

I would like to claim that this is, indeed, super-genius power, but actually is usually about me having forgotten to buy more toothpaste.

A

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

quote:
Originally posted by Adrienne:

Is it OK that after doing my best with the toothpaste tube business, when no more squeezes out I cut off the bottom with scissors and stick my toothbrush in to get the last bit out?
Hart, the gauntlet is cast!

Wow. I now have a new thing.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Se, only when we come together as a community can we evolve knowledge like that.

(P.S. I blew up the toothpaste tube this morning.)

Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :

[Big Grin]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

<high five>

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I think in my case I have just gotten really good at reading clouds and terrain. I think my gift is California- specific, too (Meaning if you dropped me in Anchorage I wouldn't have a clue.)

Mountains are east, ocean is west.

ETA - actually, ocean is west, north and south. Anchorage is on a little blip/peninsula thingie. but essentially, knowing the mountains are in the east is good enough.

[ 03. November 2013, 18:51: Message edited by: comet ]

Posted by Gladly The Cross-eyed Bear (# 9641) on :

I have the power to make pies from scratch. This is a worthwhile thing, and causes me much joy. The people around me don't seem to mind it either. The pie making process can be stressful, especially when the pie crust is not cooperating, but the moment of triumph is when the pie comes out looking (and tasting) good anyway!

Gladly

Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :

I have the power to know at a glance which container the leftovers will fit into with the least wasted space. Also, to stow things in the trunk of a car with maximal efficiency.

Posted by Earwig (# 12057) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The Undercover Christian:
Sometimes when I get jelly babies I pretend I'm auditioning them.

That may be an over-share.

That is AMAZING! You are my new hero. [Big Grin]

Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
I have the power to know at a glance which container the leftovers will fit into with the least wasted space. Also, to stow things in the trunk of a car with maximal efficiency.

Me too! Packing things is a mental exercise, like a 3D puzzle.
Also spider catching, just an upturned glass and a postcard and I'm away. The scuttling motion makes my spidey-sense tingle.

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Se, only when we come together as a community can we evolve knowledge like that.

(P.S. I blew up the toothpaste tube this morning.)

You'll have fresh breath all day.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

I have the power to control the cat. Really. I say NO or use the soft Mother Voice and say, " That is not allowed behavior in this house," and she stops in her tracks with whatever she is doing. She will not even go through the open door to the outside if I say No. The rest of the family she just looks at and goes on about her business.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Since I am going to be job hunting soon, this one has given me pause for thought-- I seemed to have developed this skill as the Girl Whisperer. I have wound up in a number of classes where I am the only "returning student" (read:person over 22) in the class, and for some reason the young women in the class wind up hovering around me and asking me all kinds of questions, kind of adopting me as an auntie, I guess. I kind of like it-- and wonder if there is a career related significance to this.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

I am able to get up as early as you like and still be bright and breezy.

Annoying ... I know! [Snigger]

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Since I am going to be job hunting soon, this one has given me pause for thought-- I seemed to have developed this skill as the Girl Whisperer. I have wound up in a number of classes where I am the only "returning student" (read:person over 22) in the class, and for some reason the young women in the class wind up hovering around me and asking me all kinds of questions, kind of adopting me as an auntie, I guess. I kind of like it-- and wonder if there is a career related significance to this.

You know what you might rock at? Student Affairs.

It's kind of like being a host, only they don't go away when you shut your computer down.

Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :

We have a thingy where you slide the bottom of the toothpaste tube into a slot and then you wind it round as the toothpaste is used. If your Significant Other squeezes it in the middle then you do a bit of extra winding. (I have to finish the tube though; he wants a new one when there's still five days of toothpaste left.)
You can't buy these thingies in the shops; they appear in those catalogues that sometimes appear in the letter box or fall out of magazines.

And I don't need those other gadgets that help you open cans that have a tab on top. If they have a diagram it shows you with your thumb in the middle of the top of the can and the adjoining finger in the tab. I use my left thumb and my right index finger and it's easy-peasy, even with arthritis in both thumbs.

Arthritis or not, I'm still the best at unscrewing jars; for the most stubborn I have a circle of plastic to grip with (probably also from a catalogue).

GG

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