Ship of Fools: Law Breakers Get Punished

Thread: Law Breakers Get Punished Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

I was reading the Purg thread called A law to stop anyone from doing anything? . The game here is to invent a law against anti-social, annoying, poor behavior; the next player invents a suitable penalty and then proposes the next "crime" to be outlawed.

For example: Poster A: Passing gas in an enclosed space such as a bus, restaurant, theater.
Poster B: Penalty- Clean out a pig pen with a teaspoon for one week.

Keep it funny. No death penalties.
New law: Serving food on flimsy paper plates forbidden.

Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :

Penalty: the perpetrator shall wash up said plates leaving them in a fit state to be reused.

Law: It shall be forbidden to ask people watching television about the events or characters in a television program when the questioner could have learned the answers by not speaking over the program in the first place.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

Penalty: The offender will be set in front of three TVs showing three different runs of programs and be expected to write a comprehensive summary of what was shown.

Law: It shall be forbidden for you to bring your yappy, aggressive little dog to the dog park.

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :

Penalty: Offender shall have to babysit three similar aggressive small yappy dogs for three hours while the whole thing is videoed to prevent opportunity for said offender to abuse the yappy dogs.

Law: It shall be forbidden to leave icy puddles all over the house floor.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

The offender shall wear wet socks at all times, for the remainder of the current Winter.

Law: Leading, riding or driving a horse upon a public sidewalk on a week day is forbidden.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

The offender's bare feet shall be fitted with steel horseshoes held on by nails.

It shall be prohibited to talk on a cellphone in a public place without enabling the loudspeaker at a volume sufficient so that all bystanders may easily hear both sides of the conversation.

Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on :

Penalty: A year without a mobile.

Law: It is forbidden to walk slowly along a busy High Street, taking up all of the pavement as you natter with your friends so that no-one can pass.

Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :

Penalty: Offenders will be required to wear hobbles for the next six weeks and hop everywhere.

Crime: Taking up more than one space in the car park is forbidden.

[ 10. January 2014, 16:20: Message edited by: Jane R ]

Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :

Penalty: you get to cut your car where it crosses between the two spaces and remove a section the width of the line.

Law: Workmen must wear long enough shirt tails to prevent the display of "Plumber's Crack".

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

Penalty: six month's parking in a specially designated compact spot with a post blocking the driver's side door, so that the driver will have to crawl over the gear shift column in order to get out of the car.

(Sorry, x-post. OK, offending workmen shall have their lower backs tattooed with the logo of their least favorite football team.)

Law: Reheating stinky leftovers in office common area microwaves shall be forbidden.

[ 10. January 2014, 18:22: Message edited by: Og, King of Bashan ]

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:

Law: Reheating stinky leftovers in office common area microwaves shall be forbidden.

Penalty: the microwave will be relocated to the offender's personal workspace and his co-workers will bring in leftover Brussels sprouts.

Law: Thou shalt not take part in phone conferences with thy cheap echo-causing telephone.

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :

Penalty: Offenders shall be relocated to a desk in a 3 ft by 3 ft phone closet to stay there for six months or until someone else is banished into said closet.

Law: Thou shalt not make strong smells that fill up the whole train car. (Perfume, Axe, french fries, BO, whatever)

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:

Law: Thou shalt not take part in phone conferences with thy cheap echo-causing telephone.

Penalty:
You shall be taken to the kitchen where you shall be treated to all of the pots being dropped on the floor simultaneously. Second offences shall have the penalty increased to screaming accompanying the pot dropping.

Law:
It is prohibitted to ambulate or otherwise walk, to wit, on any public roadway or carriageway whilst texting, tweeting or otherwise focussing the eyes and thumbs on a cell or smart phone, also known as a mobile or a handy.

Posted by Sherwood (# 15702) on :

[Bottoms. Took too long]

Penalty: All no verbal communication must be by semaphore for three months.

Law: Refectories and cafeteria must serve a greater choice of sandwich/bread roll than ham or cheese and ham.

[ 10. January 2014, 19:13: Message edited by: Sherwood ]

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:

Law: Thou shalt not make strong smells that fill up the whole train car. (Perfume, Axe, french fries, BO, whatever)

Penalty: At the other end of the train from the "silent carriage" is the "stinky car". Guess where you get to sit?

quote:
Originally posted by Sherwood:

Law: Refectories and cafeteria must serve a greater choice of sandwich/bread roll than ham or cheese and ham.

Penalty: Proprietor will be served a slice of cheese between two slices of ham for every meal until he repents.

Law: I'm glad that you had an enjoyable night last night, but the rest of us in the train don't need to know what you did with that cute blonde from accounting.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

Penalty: Sit and watch a two hour, vacation slide show (old school) narrated by a sweet old couple of their visit to their grandkids in Fresno, CA.

Law: Squirrelly children may not run riot in a restaurant while the parents kick back talking and chugging beer.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Penalty: All other children in the restaurant will run around the misbehaving children's home while their parents sober up.

Law: Scent and perfume must not be applied in lifts/elevators.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Offenders sentenced to 3 months of using only stairways, hopefully with multiple bags of groceries and packages.

Law: "Borrowing" an untended umbrella is strictly forbidden, even though the borrower may claim s/he was going to return it to its place, as soon as convenient.

Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on :

Penalty: Wrestling with an umbrella in a wind tunnel for half an hour.

Law: It is forbidden to pack your shopping and only then to start rummaging for the means to pay, despite the long queue.

Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :

Penalty: Such people shall be automatically preceded in line by three to five elderly women who may try to hurry, but even when they do, will generally tell the cashier about their grandchildren, pay only with checks, and act generally spacey.

Law: One's co-workers shall do their own jobs instead of try to doing a someone else's job terribly.

[ 13. January 2014, 14:54: Message edited by: Gwai ]

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Penalty: If they don't want to do their job, their post shall be filled by somebody else.

Law: Worship songs for use with congregations shall incorporate proper endings, such that fading-out is not possible, let alone necessary.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Penalty: Worship songs shall be forbidden henceforth.

Law: Church organs may be played only by persons properly trained therefor.

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

Penalty: the offender shall be forced to learn the bagpipes.

Offence: Parents of children in prams/pushchairs etc. shall not walk 3 or 4 abreast at a snail's pace, blocking the entire pavement.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Punishment: Family units shall walk only in single file, and the leading parent, AND the end of the line parent shall wear sandwich signs saying
WIDE LOAD

Forbidden for ladies to wear perilously low-cut blouses in any situation where leaning over to inspect their shoes or a coin on the sidewalk might incite public disorder.

[ 14. January 2014, 13:42: Message edited by: Pearl B4 Swine ]

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Penalty: all men to revert to wearing very tall, starched Victorian stocks, thereby preventing them from viewing a female body anywhere below the top of the head.

Offence: Wearing T-shirts with oh-so-hilarious word plays on a common obscenity.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Penalty: The wearers get said obscenities shouted in their ears everywhere they go.

Offence: Spitting used chewing gum on to the pavement.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Penalty: Being forced to eat chewing gum that has been spat out on the ground.

Offence: Dressing such that underwear and/or buttock crevice is visible.

Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on :

Penalty: Putty to fill in the cracks and give a smooth outline.

Law: It is forbidden to repeat the same unfunny story for the umpteenth time.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Raptor Eye:
Law: It is forbidden to repeat the same unfunny story for the umpteenth time.

Penalty: Superglue, an mp3 player, earbuds, and "The Laughing Policeman" on endless loop. Some assembly required.

Law: Building temperature in the winter months not to be maintained so high that it's uncomfortable to wear a sweater.

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

Penalty: Sweaters, thick woolly jumpers AND duffle coats (all at the same time) are to be mandatory for all those with responsibility for setting building temperatures.

Law: People on Twitter are not to post hundreds of links to the same post on their blog straight after each other or replies to other people that are links to said blog post.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Dafyd:
Penalty: the perpetrator shall wash up said plates leaving them in a fit state to be reused.

That reminds me of a conversation allegedly overheard at a tacky party: I'll scrape and you erase!

[Razz]

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