Thread: First World Problems Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
Pursuant to a cute page on Bored Panda in which tweets of first-world problems are paired with photos of anguished models, I thought it might be fun to have a thread here in which we post our petty complaints (real or made up) for mockery.

Examples might include "I burned the last English muffin and had to have a piece of ordinary toast" (made up) or "I didn't realize my favorite Chinese restaurant is closed on Mondays, so I had to radically shift mental gears to eat Mexican" (real).
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
It must be a sign of how bad the recession has been that my local chip shop no longer serves guacamole.

(Not only that, they also deny they ever did, which is even more worrying.)
 

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Posted by Adrienne (# 2334) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Ariel:
... my local chip shop no longer serves guacamole ... they also deny they ever did...

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So it was mushy peas all along then.
 

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Posted by LutheranChik (# 9826) on :
 
The receiver on our wide-screen TV is acting up, and sometimes it takes us a half-dozen tries to get a picture. [sob]
 

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Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
The lift in my building breaks down occasionally and I have to use the stairs. Two Christmases ago in the middle of summer it was out of action for a month.

(Actually a real problem because of hip and back trouble)
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
We had an overnight electricity breakdown: do you know how bad a housefull of Yankee Candles smells?
 

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Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :
 
Our church's data projector broke down and so we were unable to show Geraldine's wedding from the Vicar of Dibley to illustrate a sermon.
 

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Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
I have to press three buttons on two different remote controls just to turn on the TV.
 

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Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :
 
We used to complain bitterly when one of the two ice cream flavors offered in the cafeteria was bubblegum, and got downright indignant when the other was superman (artificially flavored vanilla dyed blue, red, and yellow).

But come on, bubblegum ice cream is an abomination.
 

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Posted by HCH (# 14313) on :
 
We were all out of Grey Poupon and I had to use ordinary mustard.
 

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Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
I had to shovel snow this morning and couldn't decide which of 3 shovels to use.
 

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Posted by TheAlethiophile (# 16870) on :
 
The Underground station was closed so I had to take a bus home.
 

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Posted by The Undercover Christian (# 17875) on :
 
These diamond slippers REALLY HURT.
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
I wish I didn't have so many social invitations! Aargh!!
 

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Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
There are too many TV channels, I can't decide what to watch.
 

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Posted by Desert Daughter (# 13635) on :
 
if Eurostar charged less extortionate fares on week-ends I'd nip over to London (from Lille) more frequently to watch a show or otherwise embrace civilisation. Being stuck in Lille on a Friday night is true hardship, believe me
 

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Posted by Cenobite (# 14853) on :
 
My wallet's too small for my credit cards (made up).

I can't get any sort of signal on my iPhone at my in-laws' house (true).
 

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Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
I ate too much dessert and have a tummy ache. (real)
 

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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Drifting Star:
I have to press three buttons on two different remote controls just to turn on the TV.

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The maid lost the remote control, and now I have to walk across the room to change channels.

 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
The almond shortage has meant Waitrose customers can no longer buy Green and Blacks almond chocolate bars. (Reported in the press, but I had it from the mouth of the baker in the shop itself today.)
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Some careless idiot managed to back into my Porsche this morning and write it off, and now I will have to use the Ferrari for everything.
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
There's rioting in North London as Waitrose runs out of goats cheese.

What will poor little Tarquin and Phoebe eat now?
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
I once contributed to FWP's facebook page with this: "People keep sending me Sims Social items that I already have, instead of the ones I need."

Updated version would be: "Why do they send me extra Candy Crush lives when I am already loaded up; why, why?"

Or: "I can't live with the agonized screams of all those doomed Pet Rescue pets haunting my dreams. It's all my fault! It's all my fault!"

[ 08. November 2013, 21:14: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
 

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Posted by Enoch (# 14322) on :
 
Why must they show pictures of starving children? It only reminds me that I still can't get into my cossie.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
The traffic taking Tarquin the half mile to school is getting silly, some days it takes me 15 minutes!
 

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Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Adrienne:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ariel:
... my local chip shop no longer serves guacamole ... they also deny they ever did...

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So it was mushy peas all along then.

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I wondered how long it'd be before someone mentioned mushy peas ...

Ariel, you don't live in Hartlepool, do you?
 

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Posted by Evangeline (# 7002) on :
 
The Australian dollar has fallen against the Euro and made champagne more expensive
 

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Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
Has any other country conned people into paying more for milk products in triple-layer plastic bottles (milk tastes better if you keep the light out – really?)?

Cream lasts a long time in a 300 ml bottle if I have a teaspoonful on my cereal every morning (it's okay: I confessed to the doctor). But I carelessly bought one of the opaque bottles and I can't see how much is left.

GG
 

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Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
Dealing with insurance companies.

Today I had a visit from Arrow, a firm that is doing assessments of driveways and paths damaged in the earthquakes for my insurance company. The assessor was lovely, but I found it very stressful and wished he would just go away, then I thought of people in Haiti and other countries who don't get what they've lost replaced.
 

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Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :
 
Some combination of new iPod + latest iTunes release meant that a whole slew of tracks which I knew I had by various composers suddenly vanished form the iPod. Eventually worked out that even though they were listed by "artist" (i.e. composer) in iTunes, on the iPod they were listed by "album artist". Thus suddenly a track by Handel is listed as being by Sir Neville Marriner. Like I care who actually performed it!
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
I can't access my bank account online. I am one of only a few affected. Fortunately I can see that it has the right amount in it, so hacking is not the cause.
 

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Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 
The button has stopped working and I can no longer roll down the driver's door window. Since the air conditioning crapped out years ago, this means sweltering (once it warms up again). Waaaaaah.
 

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Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :
 
It is now a legal requirement to register your pool so I will probably have to suffer having a safety fence inspection.
 

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Posted by cheesymarzipan (# 9442) on :
 
I keep getting struck by lightning when I'm playing Minecraft. My imaginary possessions get set on fire! Oh noes!
 

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Posted by moron (# 206) on :
 
I remember when aspartame was introduced as a sweetener for diet sodas and allegations arose that it screwed (sorry ) with menstruation somehow.

A clever reporter managed to find a woman who was willing to say 'They are taking away my right to drink diet soda'.

Mock if you must (I believe we have some obligation) but really it doesn't bode well for civilization.
 

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Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
My father (93 years old) keeps getting phone calls from collection agencies looking for people who had his phone number previously. He doesn't know how to add the calling numbers to Call Blocking, and calls me to do it for him whenever he gets such a call. God forbid the phone company should make it easy to add a call in progress to Call Blocking. Oh, the headaches caused by modern technology!
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
I had to wait 20 seconds for a web page to load this evening!
 

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Posted by Nicolemr (# 28) on :
 
My daughter and son-in-law's pet snake got loose in our apartment and now I have a baby snake slithering around... unless the cats got it which is an even more disturbing thought.
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
Being a bit more serious for a moment, there was consternation in the office the other day when the water filter broke down.

Oh noes! We have to drink tap water! How will we cope? Never mind the millions of people who would love to have drinkable water on tap that you don't have to walk to the river for and doesn't give you cholera.

We are very spoilt.
 

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Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
We used to complain bitterly when one of the two ice cream flavors offered in the cafeteria was bubblegum, and got downright indignant when the other was superman (artificially flavored vanilla dyed blue, red, and yellow).

But come on, bubblegum ice cream is an abomination.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sir Kevin:

quote:

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Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
But come on, bubblegum ice cream is an abomination.

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Why? You can blow bubbles when you're all done eating the soft part.

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quote:

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Originally posted by balaam:
My first world ice cream problem it that it takes too long to choose which flavour to eat out of the 32 available.

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quote:

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Originally posted by kingsfold:
This morning, I've had to defrost my car twice.

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I have a Ford with a built-in windscreen heater. If that ever goes, that will be a first world problem of the greatest magnitude.
 

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Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :
 
The 'gentleman' sat next to me in the cinema yesterday spent the first 10 minutes of the film muddling his slush with his straw (after checking his phone in a darkened theatre). The noise of slurping ice is like nails on a chalk board. Why does no one share my pain?
 

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Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
He would have if you had "accidentally" spilled your popcorn in his lap.
 

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Posted by pjl (# 16929) on :
 
Attended a tenants/management meeting this morn.
Quite a nice spread provided, including toasted tea cakes and crumpets.

Only one thing missing really. No management turned up.

Ah well!
 

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Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
My dishwasher, clothes dryer, microwave and oven all have buzzers that go off when they're done, seeming to demand some sort of action on my part.

I will no longer tolerate such bullying!
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:

quote:

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Originally posted by kingsfold:
This morning, I've had to defrost my car twice.

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I have a Ford with a built-in windscreen heater. If that ever goes, that will be a first world problem of the greatest magnitude.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Penny S:
I am told that Ford have resolutely held on to its rights over windscreen heaters so that no-one else can have them.

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I suspect this is a cross-pond linguistic misunderstanding, but -

Are you saying non-Ford cars over there don't have a defroster?


 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by jbohn:

quote:

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Originally posted by Penny S:
I am told that Ford have resolutely held on to its rights over windscreen heaters so that no-one else can have them.

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I suspect this is a cross-pond linguistic misunderstanding, but -

Are you saying non-Ford cars over there don't have a defroster?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Palimpsest:
There are non fragranced shampoos and soap but you get charged more for them. It's what a friend of mine called the Swedish Design Conspiracy; The plain white plate costs more then the same white plate with blue flowers on it.

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quote:

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Originally posted by anoesis:
Here's a first-world complaint for sure - why does everything have to be fragranced?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Gee D:
The old saying was a penny coloured, but tuppence (two pence) plain.

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quote:

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The crème brûlée kinda tickles the back of my throat.

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Yeah, that can be a real downer.
 

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Posted by Galilit (# 16470) on :
 
Awoke to find the internet down (that yellow exclamation mark triangle icon)
Went back to bed and finished a book (contemporary British novelist)
Looked around the house to see if everything else was functioning - freezer, fridge, blender for breakfast fruit yoghurt smoothie
Texted 3 people to tell them I was not online and texted a review of the book to another friend who is waiting for it after me.
Hung out washing and put another load on.
Made smoothie (persimmon pineapple banana apple)
Came back to find internet back up...whew!
 

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Posted by Alicïa (# 7668) on :
 
Why does BBC iPlayer put some programmes on "series catch up" & yet usually the series I want to catch up on has only the most recent episode?
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
Maplin, bless their cotton socks, have VHS tapes. It isn't a case of learning the DVD side - it's recorded fine before. It's a case of having it repaired. BUT, I don't have time to have it repaired, as I have only 27 days to transfer 80 hours of recordings.
AND, the new TV has to go off to be repaired because of a line across it, leaving me with its predecessor analogue one, which means I can't watch at the same time as the copying process (a wiring problem). AND, the remote for the old TV doesn't work properly.
Proper tedious.
 

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Posted by jbohn (# 8753) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Penny S:
We have blowers. We do not have the sort of windscreen heaters built into the screen like the rear screen ones but less visible. Coaches have two vertical wires either side of the screen, and the area in between clears.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Firenze:
You think you have problems: I've been stuck on Candy Crush level 350 for days. (Just to disprove Hart's point).

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I don't need the Sat Nav to get to Tesco today and though my wife could use it to get to her book club meeting, I insist on taking the Focus because it's faster!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Galilit:
Texted 3 people to tell them I was not online

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And only a few years ago, we didn't have that alternative!

I feel your pain, though. When my internet's down, no matter how many other things I have to do, no matter that the phone still works, I feel isolated and as if my world has come to a screeching halt. And I can't remember what else a computer is good for.

[ 01. January 2014, 20:33: Message edited by: churchgeek ]
 

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Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on :
 
Having just watched Sherlock , I still don't understand why John had to believe that he was dead for two years when so many others were in on the secret...
 

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Posted by Kittyville (# 16106) on :
 
And now my FWP is the spoiler potential if someone explains it to you, Starbug, when it probably won't screen here for months yet.

And now I have an adjunct FWP of a whole thread of spoiler potential. Buggeration.

[ 02. January 2014, 07:50: Message edited by: Kittyville ]
 

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Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :
 
My FWP is that I have slept in beyond the point where the central heating is set to go off. So, the house is too cold for me to get out of bed and switch the central heating on again so that it's warm enough for me to get out of bed.
 

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Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Starbug:
Having just watched Sherlock , I still don't understand why John had to believe that he was dead for two years when so many others were in on the secret...

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It's not exactly a spoiler - it was because John was far too likely to let the truth slip out somehow.
 

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Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :
 
FWP: obviously the Christmas decorations have to come down on Twelfth Night. But does Husband's train-set (currently all over the floor in the living room) count as part of the decorations or not? Will the sky fall if he is allowed to keep it out for an extra week?

What to do, what to do...
 

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Posted by ToujoursDan (# 10578) on :
 
The holidays are over, everyone is going to hit the gym and I'm going to have to take turns now.
 

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Posted by ToujoursDan (# 10578) on :
 
There's a blizzard commin' and there's a line out the door at the nearest Trader Joe's. Gothamist: Photos: Crazy Lines At Trader Joe's Due To Imminent Blizzard

How will I survive the next 24 hours without enough 3 buck chuck*?


*cheap but tasty wine
 

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Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:

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Originally posted by Starbug:
Having just watched Sherlock , I still don't understand why John had to believe that he was dead for two years when so many others were in on the secret...

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It's not exactly a spoiler - it was because John was far too likely to let the truth slip out somehow.

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