Ship of Fools: Annoying Christmas Song Lyrics

Thread: Annoying Christmas Song Lyrics Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Francophile (# 17838) on :

My pet hate:

"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time"

Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?

If the royalties from this song are still Feeding the World, I will thole it.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

A thole is either of two pins affixed to a gunwale and used as an oarlock. What exactly are you going to do with this song or its royalties?

Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :

I think you can ski in a few places in Africa, but it's a secret, where they are!

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?

Yes, lots. There's snow in Africa all year round. Here's a picture.

Posted by Francophile (# 17838) on :

Thole(Scots): endure, put up with

To thole one's assize: to be acquitted after trial

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

Last year when I was in Johannesburg it snowed. But that was in July.

Posted by Stumbling Pilgrim (# 7637) on :

I have a bigger problem with 'tonight thank God it's them instead of you'. Surely the whole point of the song is that it shouldn't be anybody?

Posted by Francophile (# 17838) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?
Yes, lots. There's snow in Africa all year round. Here's a picture.

What happened in 1984 then? Did drought mean no snow?

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
Francophile: What happened in 1984 then? Did drought mean no snow?

The snow/ice-cap on the Kilimanjaro persisted in 1984.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Felice Navidad by José Feliciano. I think "felice Navidad" is the entire lyric. It doesn't help if Boney M sings it.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
no prophet: Felice Navidad by José Feliciano. I think "felice Navidad" is the entire lyric.

It also has Prospero año y felicidad (≈ 'Happy New Year') and 'We wanna wish you a Merry Christmis from the bottom of our heart.'

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?
Yes, lots. There's snow in Africa all year round. Here's a picture.

And in the bit of Ethipia that famine was, they have snow on the mountains every winter. And when it melts it causes the flooding of the Nile. And yes they know its Christmas because the've mostly been Christians for longer than our ancestors have.

Well-meaning maybe, but I cringed so much at that song.

Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :

At least 'Do they know it's Christmas' has the excuse that it was thrown together overnight. Goodness knows how long it took to write 'We Are The World', and yet it still had the clunker:

"Cause God has shown us by turning stone to bread"

Er, when?

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :

The Sahara desert had a recent snowfall in January 2012. I can't find the picture online now, but there was enough snow to build a snow camel. And when I googled to find pictures of this one, another snowfall in February 1979 was returned in the search results.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

"The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"

Mary and Joseph must be up all night checking for crib (manger) death. [Eek!]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

E'n so, here below, below,
Let steeple bells be swungen.
And "Io, io, io"
By priest and people sungen.

A pitiful attempt to make a song written in 1924 sound like it had been written in 1492.

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
At least 'Do they know it's Christmas' has the excuse that it was thrown together overnight. Goodness knows how long it took to write 'We Are The World', and yet it still had the clunker:

"Cause God has shown us by turning stone to bread"

Er, when?

Which just confirms my suspicion that "We are the world" is by a long way the worst of those two songs (and the video really gets to me - lots of American singers showing how special they are by looking as if they've had sudden onsets of constipation down a microphone for charity - and it goes on too long to make sure everyone gets their solo bit - all for charidee...).

It's been mentioned on the Carols and Readings thread in Eccles, but can I nominate "Once In Royal David's City", which is basically "children be good, cos Jesus was" dressed up as a song about the wonder of Christmas.

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
"The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"

Mary and Joseph must be up all night checking for crib (manger) death.

"The ox and lamb kept time, parup apum pum". Really? An ox and a lamb kept time with what, their hooves? [Killing me]

Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
At least 'Do they know it's Christmas' has the excuse that it was thrown together overnight. Goodness knows how long it took to write 'We Are The World', and yet it still had the clunker:

"Cause God has shown us by turning stone to bread"

Er, when?

I prefer Bette Midler's version of 'We Are the World':
'We are the rich/ we are the famous'... [Big Grin]

Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :

I dunno whether it's annoying exactly, but I was rather startled the first time I opened my vocal score for Britten's 'Saint Nicholas' and discovered that we had to sing 'IA!'

Further investigation revealed that it was the final syllable of Alleluia, not an exhortation to Great Cthulu...

Posted by Lord Jestocost (# 12909) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
Further investigation revealed that it was the final syllable of Alleluia, not an exhortation to Great Cthulu...

Which was precisely my first thought on reading your post.

There is a version of "Unto is born a son" which includes the gem:

quote:
... Let the organ thunder
While our happy voices rend
The jocund air asunder!

It was the last line that made my mother and me dissolve into giggles.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
"The ox and lamb kept time, parup apum pum". Really? An ox and a lamb kept time with what, their hooves?

Are you suggesting herbivores have no sense of rhythm?

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

Not so: I seem to recall Mr Ed, the 'talking' horse, could do arithmetic... [Biased]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Through the years we all will be together, if the Fates allow.

Um, are we Christians or ancient Greek pagans in this song? There are no Fates in the ninefold ranks of angels.

Posted by anoesis (# 14189) on :

What, over twenty posts already, and no-one has nominated either; "Grandma got run over by a reindeer", or; "I saw Momeeee kissing Sannaaa Claus laaaaaaaaaaaaast niiiiiight!"

bleurghk. [Projectile]

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"

He would have been in a a pretty poor position if he had.

And wot Stejjie posted about "Once in Royal David's City'.

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

My pet hate is Wizzard's I wish it could be Chrisymas every day. Even as a kid I worked out that is it happened every day, it wouldn't be special - and when could people buy Christmas presents if the shops were never open?

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"

"Oh come, all ye faithful".

Moo

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
E'n so, here below, below,
Let steeple bells be swungen.
And "Io, io, io"
By priest and people sungen.

A pitiful attempt to make a song written in 1924 sound like it had been written in 1492.

Yes. It's the sort of garbage you make up off the top of your head when you're playing silly word games after a few drinks. And presumably the only reason you'd sing io io io* is that you'd had so many drinks you couldn't articulate anything else.

*You might sing io io but only if you were a cockney dwarf and it was off to work you were going

Posted by Anglican't (# 15292) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ken:
And in the bit of Ethipia that famine was, they have snow on the mountains every winter. And when it melts it causes the flooding of the Nile. And yes they know its Christmas because the've mostly been Christians for longer than our ancestors have.

Well-meaning maybe, but I cringed so much at that song.

Someone once commented that the Ethiopians wouldn't know its Christmas because they use the Julian calendar and would celebrate it at a completely different time.

Don't know how true this is, but I thought it amusing. Not sure whether Ethiopia has yet to adopt the Gregorian calendar.

[ 15. December 2013, 10:21: Message edited by: Anglican't ]

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :

There's snow in Syria and Egypt now, possibly not on the Sphinx, but close

Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :

Does it really make any difference to the scheme of things if friggin ice crystals fall out of the sky on a certain day of the Year ?

Scrooge out.

Posted by pydseybare (# 16184) on :

In Bethlehem, in Jewry,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

I've never understood the highlighted line. If you are 12 and are listening, it sounds pretty ridiculous to hear people singing this.

Almost as good as the references to the horn-of-plenty in hymns of my youth. I used to like watching women of my mother's generation sing that.

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

One thing to be said for "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time" (etc) is that it is written with a bit of anger. Very differently from "We are the world", you can't sing it with a soppy self-congratulatory grin on your face.

BTW "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you" = "count yourself lucky it's them instead of you", surely?

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by pydseybare:
In Bethlehem, in Jewry,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

I think it means "which fact," and "did nothing take" means "did not take" -- at least that's what I've taken it to mean.

-----------------------

I know this isn't a Christmas song per se, but I despise "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Christmas date rape song.

Posted by Edith (# 16978) on :

The very nastiest is the ghastly Eartha Kitt growling about Santa coming down the chimney tonight.

And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.

Posted by Nicolemr (# 28) on :

The Christmas shoe song. Ugh.

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
The very nastiest is the ghastly Eartha Kitt growling about Santa coming down the chimney tonight.

And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.

I don't think the first one is ghastly at all, but then perhaps you have to be a (certain sort of?) chap to appreciate it. If the second has the effect you say it has, I'm not at all sure it's such a bad thing.

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :

quote:
"Christian children all should be mild, obedient, good as he"

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Edith:

And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.

Really? Convent girls don't have mothers, sisters, cousins or neighbours with babies? A baby who is warm, dry, and nestled at a milky breast does indeed have all of his immediate wants and needs satisfied. You can see all the tension evaporate from a baby as he finds the nipple and starts to feed.

This is God, fully human, nursing peacefully at his mother's breast. I think it's a lovely image.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

It is more likely to be the teenage male tenor, with newly broken voice, feeling very self-conscious at having to sing those words....

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:

quote:
"Christian children all should be mild, obedient, good as he"

they want them all to wander off and leave their parents wondering where they are for three days? Ridiculous!

Posted by S. Bacchus (# 17778) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Moo:

quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"
"Oh come, all ye faithful".

Moo

What's wrong with that line? Although not a literal translation of the Latin (' Deum de Deo, lumen de lumine/ Gestant puellæ viscera' = 'God of God, Light of Light: These are born by bowels of a young woman'), it's a pretty obvious allusion to the Te Deum:

quote:
Tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem,
non horruisti Virginis uterum.

Which the BCP translates (quite correctly) as

quote:
When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man : thou didst not abhor the Virgin's womb.

Good, strong incarnational language in both cases.

There was a time, even a generation ago, when nobody batted an eye about prayers like 'Blessed be the womb of the Virgin Mary which bore the Son of the Eternal Father and blessed by the breasts that gave suck to Christ our Lord'. One might have thought that a desire to emphasize female imagery in devotional writings would increase the prominence of such prayers, but they instead seem to have all but vanished, presumably out of a puerile horror of lady bits. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time"

It's worse than that. Look at the next line...

"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life"

Sorry, I know life isn't as good as snow, but it's the best we can do at short notice.

(This one is courtesy of the resident offspring.)

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

'I wish it could be Christmas every day....' No, I don't!

This song is played over and over again in shops at Christmastime, and the cynic in me thinks they'd love us to spend our money as though in a mad frenzy of present-buying every day!

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

There is something really creepy about Elvis Presley crooning "Blue Christmas". The backup singers are doing their "Oh ooo ooo ooo ooo" and that just adds to the creepiness.

The problem with songs like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is that they aren't that funny to begin with and then they get played over and over and over again, making me want to jam red hot pokers into my ears... or move to a high mountaintop where no stupid Christmas "songs" can be heard. Gimme "Silent Night", sung reverently any time over most of the holiday schlock.

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
It is more likely to be the teenage male tenor, with newly broken voice, feeling very self-conscious at having to sing those words....

Yes, but at that age he's going to feel very self-conscious at everything, so he'd better just put up with it and get over it as quickly as he can!

Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on :

Fortunately not heard so often these days but I've always hated

'I'm so sorry for that laddie, He hasn't got a daddy, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot'

Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"

He would have been in a a pretty poor position if he had.

It wasn't an uncommon trope at one time. The Te Deum has the line "When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man, thou didst not abhor the Virgin's womb."

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:

quote:
"Christian children all should be mild, obedient, good as he"

That one used to make me cross when I was a kid - I imagined some ghastly goody-two-shoes.

But it was written by a Victorian lady, at a time when that sort of sentiment was not only acceptable, but expected. It's a product of its time; I wouldn't mind if that verse were left out, but it really doesn't bother me any more.

As for the "breast full of milk", it's often replaced with "a heart full of love".

[ 16. December 2013, 16:19: Message edited by: piglet ]

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
'I wish it could be Christmas every day....' This song is played over and over again in shops at Christmastime.

Indeed it is ... of course, if it WAS Christmas every day they'd all be permanently shut as they don't open on December 25th!

PS Thinking of "Once in royal David's city", I don't much like the vision of heaven as "all in white shall wait around" - sounds like some dysfunctional celestial bus station (although cleaner) on a day when the service has totally collapsed!

[ 16. December 2013, 16:32: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

It occurred to me,only a short time ago, that not abhorring the womb could have been a riposte to those who regarded women's parts as the gateway to hell.

Christina Rossetti was quite extraordinary in putting the breastful of milk into a poem at the time she did - I don't suppose it was intended to be sung by choirboys when written.

My mother grew up resenting the Once in Royal verse which she was sure was Getting At Her. In the past I've come across versions which have compressed two verses, thus: (Omitted bit in italics and brackets)

And, through all His wondrous childhood,
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
(Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He.

For He is our childhood’s pattern;
Day by day, like us He grew;
He was little, weak and helpless,
Tears and smiles like us He knew;)
And He feeleth for our sadness,
And He shareth in our gladness.

Most recently, all the childhood part has been omitted where I usually sing it. Presumably others have been felling they were being Got At.

Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
It occurred to me,only a short time ago, that not abhorring the womb could have been a riposte to those who regarded women's parts as the gateway to hell.

Christina Rossetti was quite extraordinary in putting the breastful of milk into a poem at the time she did - I don't suppose it was intended to be sung by choirboys when written.

My mother grew up resenting the Once in Royal verse which she was sure was Getting At Her. In the past I've come across versions which have compressed two verses, thus: (Omitted bit in italics and brackets)

And, through all His wondrous childhood,
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
(Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He.

For He is our childhood’s pattern;
Day by day, like us He grew;
He was little, weak and helpless,
Tears and smiles like us He knew;)
And He feeleth for our sadness,
And He shareth in our gladness.

Most recently, all the childhood part has been omitted where I usually sing it. Presumably others have been felling they were being Got At.

We missed it out at our carol service last night, can't remember if it was the compressed version or not. I was very pleased, having growled at the other version in the school carol service in the parish church earlier in the week.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Kitten:
Fortunately not heard so often these days but I've always hated

'I'm so sorry for that laddie, He hasn't got a daddy, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot'

I am very glad I have never heard that.

Moo

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

It's just "The Little Match Girl" reimagined for a more modern society. At least the boy gets to live.

Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on :

For me it's Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys: 'Christmas comes this time each year'. No shit, Sherlock.

Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Starbug:
For me it's Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys: 'Christmas comes this time each year'. No shit, Sherlock.

"Joseph Dearest, Joseph Mine" has pretty much the same thing with "He came among us at Christmas time/At Christmas time in Bethlehem"...

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

The two worst I've had to deal with are:
Mary, did you know...... and Do you hear what I hear

Usually the second one is referred to as "Do you smell what I smell?"

Posted by Lyonesse (# 2567) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.

I always misinterpret this verse - I can't help but hear it as a breastful of milk to drink, and a mangerful of hay to eat. I wish I could find a way to get that idea out of my head!

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:

*You might sing io io but only if you were a cockney dwarf and it was off to work you were going

Quotes file!

Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :

I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!

And, although I enjoy the tune, I can't hear "Gabriel's Message" now without singing to myself, "Most highly flavored gravy" for that last line. Thanks Ship of Fools. Thip.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!

I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Moo:

quote:
Originally posted by Kitten:
Fortunately not heard so often these days but I've always hated

'I'm so sorry for that laddie, He hasn't got a daddy, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot'
I am very glad I have never heard that.

Moo

I partially heard it for the first time one morning last week. It was a very good reason to get out of bed rather than just lying there listening to the radio.

Posted by Barefoot Friar (# 13100) on :

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

The guy's trying to rape her.

Gah.

Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :

'When the snowman brings the snow'

Um ... until you have snow you can't have a snowman.

'And so this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over and a new one just begun'

No, John, that's New Year. The clue's in the name.

Posted by Anglo Catholic Relict (# 17213) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:

'And so this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over and a new one just begun'

No, John, that's New Year. The clue's in the name.

... unless he means the Liturgical year, which begins at the start of Advent ... ?

Is it possible?

Posted by Francophile (# 17838) on :

We could ask him [Confused]

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
'When the snowman brings the snow'

Um ... until you have snow you can't have a snowman.

Is this what it comes to? Taking potshots at perfectly good songs for utterly pedantic and irrelevant reasons?

The milkman brings the milk. The postman brings the post. Saying the snowman brings the snow in a deliberately cheesy, just-for-fun Christmas song is perfectly legitimate.

What's next - slagging off Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer because real reindeer don't have noses of sufficient luminosity to act as foglights?

Posted by deano (# 12063) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Starbug:
For me it's Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys: 'Christmas comes this time each year'. No shit, Sherlock.

This in spades!

I always thought it was just me who thought that line was shite. I never made a fuss because I thought "Jesus, it's just a song, get a life deano", but every... fucking... year... it just gets on my tits.

I just avoid listening to all Christmas music (except carols in church services of course) because wth the exception of Fairy Tale of New York they are all crap.

[ 19. December 2013, 14:25: Message edited by: deano ]

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
We could ask him

Into spiritualism, are you?

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!

I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.

Yeah, I also went and looked up the words and have absolutely no desire to hear the song. Things like that and hearing people announce, in syrupy tones, "Jesus is the REASON for the season!" make me lunge for a barf bag.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Some of you missed a career in law.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Some of you missed a career in law.

They would be the lucky ones (((orfeo & co))).

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Anglo Catholic Relict:

quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:

'And so this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over and a new one just begun'

No, John, that's New Year. The clue's in the name.
... unless he means the Liturgical year, which begins at the start of Advent ... ?

Is it possible?

To be fair, Christmas Day is only a week a way from New Year's Day and that's always a weird sort of week (for me, anyway), so it does feel like the year's pretty much up by the time you get to Christmas.

Again with the pickiness!

Posted by Pine Marten (# 11068) on :

quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!

I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.
Yeah, I also went and looked up the words and have absolutely no desire to hear the song. Things like that and hearing people announce, in syrupy tones, "Jesus is the REASON for the season!" make me lunge for a barf bag.

You had to make me do it - I looked up Christmas Shoes on YouTube ... [Projectile]

Yuck! The thing doesn't even bloody well rhyme, what a pukerama. Nearly as bad as Elvis's Old Shep.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I've concluded there are only two Christmas songs. Every time I walk into a shop or other public place where Christmas muzak is going on, either "Let It Snow" or "Simply Havin a Wunnerful Christmas Time" is playing. It's happened so often lately it can't be coincidence.

I absolutely loathe SHAWCT and the limp way it's sung but at least it isn't "Sanna Claus is Comin Ter Towwwwwwwnnnnn" as screamed by a hysterical soprano.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
but at least it isn't "Sanna Claus is Comin Ter Towwwwwwwnnnnn" as screamed by a hysterical soprano.

Bruce Springsteen?

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Not sure. It's somewhere more in the range of the Bee Gees, but a lot shriller and more ear-piercing.

Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :

That would be Michael Jackson back in his teenage years.

Posted by Dogwalker (# 14135) on :

Nobody has mentioned one that bugs me every year -- the second verse of Silent Night.

quote:
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,

On what planet does that rhyme?

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Dogwalker:
Nobody has mentioned one that bugs me every year -- the second verse of Silent Night.

quote:
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
On what planet does that rhyme?

Consistency is the hobgolin of small minds - mitts off one of my favourite carols - or it was until Simon and Garfunkel did their thing with it. Now I have trouble hearing it without that relentless voice cataloguing the disasters of the day intruding [Frown]

.

Huia

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

I had never really heard the lyrics to "I Wonder as I Wander" until a couple of days ago:

quote:
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I;
I wonder as I wander out under the sky.

Like you and like I ?!?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I had never really heard the lyrics to "I Wonder as I Wander" until a couple of days ago:

quote:
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I;
I wonder as I wander out under the sky.

Like you and like I ?!?

It do be sung by Simple Rustic Folk, aaarrh.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Dogwalker:
Nobody has mentioned one that bugs me every year -- the second verse of Silent Night.

quote:
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
On what planet does that rhyme?

Welcome to various parts of Britain. Get yourself a nice hot lartay (coffee), sit back and enjoy the singing.

Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :

Until the discussion on Silent Night, I was not even aware there was a rhyming issue. For the record, I'm Canadian, born in Ontario.

Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!

I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.

Here's what the tune sounds like: the Sum of All Earworms. The only thing worse than those self-congragilitory, pietistic, maudlin lyrics is having the chorus about Mommy having something wear when she meets Jesus tonight sung by the most twee and saccharine bunch of kidlets anyone could ever dredge up. As one commentator put it, even a nasty breakup just before Christmas and a friend who cuts you off from your coping mechanisms is better than "Christmas Shoes."

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :

quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Until the discussion on Silent Night, I was not even aware there was a rhyming issue. For the record, I'm Canadian, born in Ontario.

Its a perfect rhyme here in London (not Ontario)

Posted by Dogwalker (# 14135) on :

I feel like I should defend myself...

I like Silent Night. Probably the reason the (non-) rhyme bugs me so much is that it's one of its few flaws.

And I can picture it rhyming -- I live near Boston. Unfortunately, I hear it in a JFK accent. If you don't remember, he was the President worried about the Soviet missiles in Cuber, that island south of Florider.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

Doing the big shop yesterday, I thought i heard 'Never tangle with a reindeer.' But it turns out to have been this.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Doing the big shop yesterday, I thought i heard 'Never tangle with a reindeer.'

Perfectly sound advice as this chap discovered.

[ 22. December 2013, 16:47: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

I've learned something useful from Sainsbury's.

A friend, when asked for his nectar card, said he'd forgo his nectar cards if they turned the muzak off.

Posted by Sola gratia (# 14065) on :

"He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness' sake!" (Santa Claus is coming to town)
[Eek!]

Creepy as heck. As if the rest of the song weren't annoying sonically, this sounds extremely sinister. Say it in a menacing Eastenders villain growl if you don't believe me.

"Mummy, why's that old man watching me sleep? You reckon it's supposed to be a good thing that he's coming to town?" [Ultra confused]

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Dogwalker:
I like Silent Night. Probably the reason the (non-) rhyme bugs me so much is that it's one of its few flaws.

Given that it does rhyme in many parts of the world, I'd say the flaw isn't with the carol.

Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :

Some of us from the local churches sang carols outside Lidl (cut-price supermarket) on Saturday and 'Silent Night' was one of them. It's a bit slow and solemn for a public performance on a busy road. And where's the 'Silent Night' when you're singing as loud as you can to be heard over the noise of the traffic?

We also sang 'Good King Wenceslas', and the American dad standing next to me, who looked at it with fresh eyes, found it a rather unpleasant tale. I realised that it's only redeemed by the last two lines.

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