Thread: The Eurovision Song Contest 2014 Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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It is that time of year again, the celebration of all that is good, bad, cheesy and camp about European music. But who will win? And will the different political voting factions cancel each other out or will the Scandenavian, Baltic or Bakan factions win again?
Can I start by saying this:
I LOVE DENMARK
A song with every cliché of a Eurovision song in it called Cliché Love song. It does not get better than this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn8DzOcpQas
Of course it won't win, nothing that is fun ever does. But it is what makes the show great. I wonder what Graham Norton will make of it?
[ 05. May 2014, 11:01: Message edited by: balaam ]
Posted by Ian Climacus (# 944) on
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Denmark stood out for me too as a possible favourite...
Latvia and Belarus seem to have gone for food themes.
And we have an Aussie there, not representing a country as a few have done, but as part of the Semi-Final 2 entertainment: hurrah for Jessica Mauboy.
[ 05. May 2014, 12:34: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]
Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on
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I've only scanned the short clips of the entries via YouTube, but there wasn't anything there that seemed to be interesting. A lot of emotional face-twisting (although I couldn't tell what the emotion was about), some interesting sets on the stage and, clearly some probably-very-nice and definitely-talented people - bot no songs that stood out.
Not even the zaniness of other years - the charming if loopy Babushki ladies of 2012, the fresh clean Salvationists from Switzerland or the close-to-insane drummers (and bagpiper) from Bulgaria last year - just a bunch of similar platitudes. Trying too hard, IYSWIM.
Posted by Hugal (# 2734) on
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I love Latvia. Poland cannot re create the video to their song on stage. Can they?
Posted by Alex Cockell (# 7487) on
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DAMMIT! Missed it! WIll have to put it on on iPlayer tomorrow..
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
I LOVE DENMARK
I loved the Ugly Duckling interval act. Very Cirque du Soleil in the story telling.
Posted by The Great Gumby (# 10989) on
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That was a crying shame. I have no idea how Latvia could go out while the Dutch song went through. I might start a campaign for a special wildcard final place for the most Eurovisiony entry, just to add to the general continental gaiety. Latvia would definitely get in if I had anything to do with it.
(Anyone who missed it last night will have to resort to Google and YouTube to find out more. Beware of earworms!)
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
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Poor Latvia. I love that song. In my head it's in a mashup with 'Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs'.
Posted by Curious (# 93) on
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This year I've remembered to record the Semi-finals so that I can enjoy the FULL weirdness that is Eurovision. Saturday night I'm having a takeaway, a goodly amount of liquid refreshment and a Facebook party!!
Bring it on.
Curious
Posted by Alex Cockell (# 7487) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
That was a crying shame. I have no idea how Latvia could go out while the Dutch song went through. I might start a campaign for a special wildcard final place for the most Eurovisiony entry, just to add to the general continental gaiety. Latvia would definitely get in if I had anything to do with it.
(Anyone who missed it last night will have to resort to Google and YouTube to find out more. Beware of earworms!)
And if in the UK - iPlayer..
Posted by Frankly My Dear (# 18072) on
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Does anyone know how one goes about submitting songs for consideration as UK entry (I can't find a link anywhere) - Or is it an industry-closed-shop, not for Joe Public?
Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on
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The semis have (1) 16 entries, and (2) 15 entries, for a total of 31.
But there are 37 entries. Do 6 have some sort of free pass to the final?
Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Horseman Bree:
The semis have (1) 16 entries, and (2) 15 entries, for a total of 31.
But there are 37 entries. Do 6 have some sort of free pass to the final?
Yes - 5 countries who contribute the bulk of the funding for the ESC (UK, Italy, Germany, France and Spain), plus the host country each year.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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A few years back the political voting meant that there was a chance that the countries that provide the funding would not have qualified, so a free pass and semi-finals were brought in.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Frankly My Dear:
Does anyone know how one goes about submitting songs for consideration as UK entry (I can't find a link anywhere) - Or is it an industry-closed-shop, not for Joe Public?
The oficial version.
Posted by Frankly My Dear (# 18072) on
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"Keep an eye on announcements" ?? What announcements?!
Posted by Robert Armin (# 182) on
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Apparently there were boos, and rainbow flags waved, when Russia got through to the final.
Posted by Alex Cockell (# 7487) on
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10 mins to air on BBC3...
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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So the great Eurovision country of Ireland failed to get through. I didn't think it was a turkey this year either.
[ 08. May 2014, 21:12: Message edited by: balaam ]
Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on
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Maybe it was a punishment for sending TWO editions of Jedward (3012, 2013)
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Horseman Bree:
Maybe it was a punishment for sending TWO editions of Jedward (3012, 2013)
3012?!!!!!! Jedward is immortal?! ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
The Horror, the Horror...
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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Double post I know, but I wished to comment on Ukraine's entry. Yes the song was meh, but I want their hamster wheel! It looks such fun.
Posted by Rosa Winkel (# 11424) on
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Someone on Facebook spoke about the Polish song, so I checked it out. There are a few shots there that had me going "ooo". Suggestive is the word. Perhaps only to my mind.
Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Horseman Bree:
Maybe it was a punishment for sending TWO editions of Jedward (3012, 2013)
3012?!!!!!! Jedward is immortal?! The Horror, the Horror...
Watching Jedward two years in a row certainly felt like eternity, but not in a good way!
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Double post I know, but I wished to comment on Ukraine's entry. Yes the song was meh, but I want their hamster wheel! It looks such fun.
The question is who will pick up the Eastern Blok vote? I'm expecting Ukraine to pick up a lot of votes from this are and Russia very few. Even the gimmick of twins on a see saw with intertwining hair will not be enough.
Watch out for the odd Eastern Blok country that goes against this and votes Russia high and Ukraine low. It might not tell us much about music, but it can be an important lesson in European politics.
Politics in Eurovision voting was what caused Sir Terry to quit IMO, he was sounding angry about it on his last couple of years. There are still conspiracy theorists who think that there is a connection between the UK's invasion of Iraq and the vocal monitors not working for Jemini. My view is that it was a crap song anyway which would not have made the top half even without the politics and if it had been sung in tune.
Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on
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Honestly, I loved Jedward's 2012 entry...
This year me and my best friend (with whom I have an annual Eurovision party complete with themed food and lots of booze) are supporting Austria because Conchita is amazing, so later we will be off to Aldi/Lidl to buy strudel and viennoiserie and other Austrian goodies (which might sometimes end up being Bavarian or Swiss goodies, sorry Austria).
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
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Is anyone planning to be in the Cafe, or other online chat room*, whilst watching?
[*I realise that as time goes by the Cafe becomes less and less feasible for more people. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
]
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
Honestly, I loved Jedward's 2012 entry...
This year me and my best friend (with whom I have an annual Eurovision party complete with themed food and lots of booze)
Our Erovision themed food is always based around cheese. It seems apt.
[Errorvision time, I meant Eurovision]
[ 10. May 2014, 11:34: Message edited by: balaam ]
Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on
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quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
The question is who will pick up the Eastern Blok vote? I'm expecting Ukraine to pick up a lot of votes from this are and Russia very few. Even the gimmick of twins on a see saw with intertwining hair will not be enough.
Watch out for the odd Eastern Blok country that goes against this and votes Russia high and Ukraine low. It might not tell us much about music, but it can be an important lesson in European politics
I'm not convinced by this. I think Russia will pick up lots of votes (as usual) from the former Soviet states, regardless of the current situation, simply because all of those countries still have significant populations of ethnic Russians (in Estonia it is 25%, and Latvia nearly 28%, for example). In Ukraine the most recent census puts the ethnic Russian population at nearly 18%, so I would even expect to see Russia get a decent mark from Ukraine. Even if anti-Russian Ukrainians are voting for 'anyone but Russia', the Russians phoning in mainly from the east will be inflating the vote for Russia.
There might well be fewer votes for Russia from the former eastern (as opposed to Soviet) bloc countries (Poland, Romania etc), but I expect those countries which were once part of the Soviet Union to still give Russia a high score.
I think what could be more interesting are the stories emerging from individual countries after the votes are cast (for example, a few years ago Azeris who voted for Armenia were questioned by national security authorities).
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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Facebook party - there's an idea!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Erovision
Now we know what you are really watching.
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
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A little late due to illness, but here is my traditional review of the semi-finals:
Eurovision Semi-Final 1
And it’s time to open the wine, set out the snacks and kick off this year’s Eurovision. Our UK hosts Scott Mills and Laura Whitmore start things off with a flashback to last year’s contest in Sweden, where Denmark’s Emelie de Forest was a runaway winner. Or indeed a walkaway winner, as she now appears to be walking back to Denmark. Obviously the transport budget ran out. She’s making her way to ‘Eurovision Island’ which I think would make a great title for a reality show.
Emilie is serenaded by video clips of people from various countries forming a choir to open her song. Finally she storms the stage with a chorus of cute kids, and then we meet our hosts. Last year Sweden bucked the trend by just having one host (and also by having jokes that were actually funny). This year we’re back to tradition on both fronts. We have two men in suits and a woman in a white dress with an enormous pompom on one shoulder. Laura’s voicover described one of the guys as a ‘pianist’. I’m sure that’s what she said.
For their introductory videos this year, each country has been asked to make their flag out of something that describes them as people. Presumably the UK’s flag will consist of equal parts of tea and grumbling about partisan voting. And without more ado, we start with …
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
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Armenia: a chap with the unlikely name of ‘Aram MP3’ who is a favourite with the bookies. Personally I can’t see why. He has a tenuous relationship with the tune, and the song ‘Not Alone’ makes me wish I was. A boring ballad which even pyrotechnics can’t save.
Latvia: this is more like it. An endearingly sweet bunch of hippies who sing a song about not knowing how to bake a cake. Is it a metaphorical plea for international cooperation? Or just the theme tune for the Great Latvian Bake-Off? Whatever, it’s now stuck in my head and I just want to invite them all round for tea.
Estonia: Tanya obviously didn’t heed her dance class instructions to wear something loose and easy to move in. Her uncomfortable looking outfit doesn’t prevent her and her partner from doing jaw-dropping acrobatics all over the stage, and she never misses a note, even when balanced at extraordinary angles.
Sweden: ‘Undo’ is a classic Celtic-tinged power ballad by a lady in a black lace dress. Apart from spotting the first gratuitous key change of the evening, I’m unmoved, but it could do well.
Iceland: the Teletubbies go punk. A bunch of men in brightly coloured suits, who pogo up and down in an attempt to get rid of prejudice. Apparently ‘It’s not trigonometry, inside we’re the same’. Er, no, guys, that’s biology.
We break for a quick 1960s-style travelogue introducing Copenhagen, which is followed by a shot of Jedward in the audience. You could have put up a warning first. But thankfully we head on to…
Albania: more Celtic twiddling, more lace (this time in white) and a lady stood on a big piece of metal singing her heart out. She’s joined by a sneering guitarist trying to make a huge polo-neck look angsty.
Russia: it’s twins! And they aren’t Jedward! Hooray! They are in fact two girls in vaguely classical Greek style outfits, standing back to back on a seesaw with their hair intertwined. The choregrapher has worked overtime as they mirror each other impressively throughout. Near the end a guy comes on and joins together the two halves of a huge paper fan behind them. I’m expecting a magic trick – perhaps he will part it again to reveal an army of clones bent on world domination? But no, the song ends, the girls smile, and that’s about it.
Azerbaijan: yet another girl in a lace dress, this time a red one. She sings some nonsense about starting a fire, but the real star here is the girl on a trapeze who performs impressive acrobatics.
Ukraine: an energetic lady in black who sings ‘Tick tock, can you hear me go tick tock’. The answer is no, because we’re too busy looking at the guy behind you in the enormous hamster wheel. Look out for these in your local gym soon.
Belgium: an anguished ballad called ‘Mother’ from a big guy in a slightly too small suit. His dancer is apparently a famous choreographer and she’s doing a grand job, but she can’t quite distract me from the torture of this number. Not so much Paul Potts, more like Pol Pot.
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
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Moldova: a blonde superheroine straight out of the Thor movies, backed by four energetic Spartan warriors breakdancing around her. Two of them look disconcertingly like Gary Rhodes and Rowan Atkinson, which is a scary thought. But not as scary as the moment the singer rips out her hair extensions. What is it with hair this year?
San Marino: Valentina appears in front of a huge blue fabric shell. Is she representing the birth of Venus, or is she the Little Mermaid in a nod to the host country? The song is a failed Bond theme with an ill-advised spoken bit in the middle. The shell turns from blue to gold, which is a lot more interesting than the dreary wandering song.
Then we have an interview with the much-anticipated Austrian entry, Conchita Wurst. Not the first drag act to enter Eurovision, but probably the first with such an impressive beard. More of Conchita on Thursday, but for now it’s back to …
Portugal: Suzy is one of only two entries sung in a country’s native language tonight. Oh, the others were in English? Sorry, it was hard to tell. That’s a nice dress she’s almost wearing. And yes, most of it is lace. Are we being sponsored by a lace manufacturer this year? Anyway, the song. There’s a Latin beat and some light up drums. Hey, the lambada is back! The singer is a gangly blonde, backed by some dancing boys who’ve evidently been to a lot of Zumba classes lately. There are flags, drums, and fun. About time!
Netherlands: by contrast, we head to new country territory next. The male/female duo gaze nto each other’s eyes and sing a song reminiscent of Lady Antebellum’s ‘Need You Now’. It’s mean and moody, except for when the male singer flirts outrageously with the camera. Oh, an by the way, Sting called. He wants his bassline to ‘Every Breath You Take’ back.
Montenegro: yet more Irish fiddling, but this time it’s a man and he’s not wearing lace. Hooray! He does, however, have a rollerblading lady with him who makes the floor light up as she skates. At one point she hits the floor with her hands and causes it to turn white. Evidently she’s been to see Frozen recently.
Hungary: a sad tale of unhappy childhood, sung by a young chap originally from America. You do wonder what he thinks of tonight’s goings-on. There’s a frantic chorus of ‘running, running, running’ and halfway through the female pianist starts doing acrobatics on the piano, before joining her partner for a contemporary dance fight.
And that’s the last of tonight’s entries. So after a quick recap, we’re shown a version of the Ugly Duckling, told in ballet and featuring sparkly tracksuits. Then there’s some chat and filler, and a preview of the songs which have automatically qualified by dint of being the host country, or by putting in most of the money for the festivities. After that the female host indulges in some unnecessary flirting with Eurovision big boss Jon Ola Sand and his silent companion, who remind me rather of Penn and Teller. And their particular magic act is to announce that the qualifying countries are ready to be revealed. And they are:
Montenegro
Hungary
Russia
Armenia
Azerbaijan
San Marino
Ukraine
Sweden
Netherlands
Iceland
There’s some audible unease at the news that Russia is through. Let’s just hope their dressing room is far enough away from Ukraine’s. And I’m distraught to learn that my lovely Latvians will never learn to bake their cake now. Maybe I should send them Mary Berry’s phone number.
Coming up after the break ... Semi-Final 2.
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
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Eurovision Semi-Final 2
Tonight we begin with a dance called ‘building the stage’. As with last year, it’s probably one of the most inventive things we’ve seen at Eurovision. It mixes a violinist playing ‘Jealousy’ with what looks like Tron – The Ballet. Bonkers but fun.
Our hosts kick off the evening by announcing that Eurovision is a bit like being at a buffet. I suspect that means that some dishes are overcooked, others have gone a bit off, and some should never have left the kitchen – but I digress. Our hosts also explain that tonight you can vote with the most important thing you have. Your mobile. Of course. And tonight, the UK can indeed vote. So we kick things off with:
Malta: the song is called ‘Coming Home’ and is a cheerful folky stomper. Not for the first time, we wonder whether the whole of Europe has been to see the Irish musical ‘Once’ as half of them would fit nicely into the cast. They sing, they smile, it’s upbeat and fun. Nice one.
Israel: back into ‘scary lady’ territory. Angsty dancing, a lady with a very deep voice declaring that ‘We don’t beat with the same heart’ whatever that means. Two dancing girls join her in a failed attempt to recreate a Beyonce video.
Norway: a big chap called Carl singing a piano ballad called ‘Silent Storm’. Very gloomy – I can hear it over the credits of a bleak Nordic crime drama.
Georgia: OK, serious weirdness. The sort of folky prog rock number that should be played at sunrise over Stonehenge after several ciders too many. There’s a frizzy-haired girl in green who takes a while to realise the audience is actually behind her. There’s a parachutist with drums. There are at least three time signatures happening, often at the same time. The song is called ‘Three Minutes to Earth’ but to me it’s more like Three Minutes Too Long.
Poland: believe it or not, this is the toned-down version – in the video they seem to have confused Polish dancing with pole dancing. Girls in vamped-up versions of traditional Polish costumes sing a song which translates as ‘We are Slavic’. It showcases some of the proud traditions of Poland, which apparently include churning butter and doing your washing in a tub. These are energetically demonstrated by a young lady with a very low cut dress. Let’s just say Poland is famous for its delicious dumplings, and move on.
We break for an ill-advised fairytale showing the UK’s own Molly discovering Copenhagen, and then…
Austria: definitely the talk of the competition. Conchita Wurst is actually a drag act, and on days off is actually a bloke called Tom. His gimmick is that alongside the glittery gold dress, perfectly curled hair and grand diva gestures, he also sports an impressive beard. However, this turns out to be far more than a novelty number. The song is a big dramatic Bond theme reminiscent of Shirley Bassey at her brassiest. Conchita can really sing, and has tons of presence. My new favourite.
Lithuania: the song is called ‘Attention’ but it doesn’t grab mine. Another scary woman, this time in a rubber costume with a ballet tutu featuring two huge holes. These come into play half way through when her partner sits down and puts his hands through them, for no apparent reason.
Finland: young lads in silver suits, doing a song called ‘Something Better’. Add your own joke there if you wish. It’s sort of Coldplay meets One Direction, which is a terrifying thought in itself.
Ireland: oh dear, she’s pinched Conchita’s gold dress. There’ll be fights in the dressing room later. Surprisingly this number is less Celtic sounding than half the others on stage tonight, but at least we have some tough-looking male Irish dancers in kilts.
Belarus: this guy fronts a quirky little disco number called ‘Cheesecake’ which is all about how he wants to break up with his girlfriend because she calls him her sweet cheesecake. And yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds. Some energetic dancing and endearingly bad lyrics (although he’s had to change the reference to Google maps and now sings ‘I look over all the maps trying to escape’ … hmm, quite). I have to admit, this one has moved into my ‘so bad it’s good’ category.
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
:
FYR Macedonia: a lady with her hair all swept to one side, in a smart business suit, is menaced by a hoodie in white who prowls the stage throughout, with no apparent purpose. Next!
Switzerland: he’s called Sebalter and he can whistle. Which he does, frequently. It’s another folky little jig, featuring lyrics like “I am the hunter, you are the prey, I’m gonna eat you up’ delivered with a sweet goofy grin. It ends with a frantic violin solo I’m calling ‘The Devil Went Down To Zurich’ and some more whistling. Rather sweet.
Another break, when we meet the incredibly annoying French entry, Twin Twin. They are three lads who aren’t related at all. Well, it worked for the Thompson Twins I guess. They will be singing a ‘Sexy and I Know It’ style song about wanting a mustache. Go and see Conchita, lads, she’ll sort something out for you. And meanwhile, please stop shouting ‘Oh yeah!’ every thirty seconds. And then we’re back with…
Greece: these guys are called Freaky Fortune featuring Risky Kidd. Risky Kidd is a rapper from Hackney, evidently hoping for free meals in every Greek restaurant near his home. The song is a clubby stomper using traditional Greek horns. You’ll probably hear it if you holiday in Greece this summer, and perhaps it sounds better after an ouzo or several. Their big gimmick is an art deco style trampoline, on which a professional trampolinist does, er, trampoline-y things.
Slovenia: a woman in a blue ball dress playing a flute. She describes herself as ‘The Flute Professor Gone Bad’ and looks like Idina Menzel at a party. The lyrics include the line ‘I’m gonna show you how to breathe’ which is very helpful if you want to learn the flute.
Romania: a woman in a sparkly dress, a man in a military-style suit, and a slick little trick with the video which makes her appear in two places. But the main gimmick is a circular piano which the guy plays at various points. The whole thing is reminiscent of a 1980s magic act, without the actual magic.
And that’s all tonight’s entries. After a quick recap we lurch into a puzzling sketch about Australia. We all know Australia are huge Eurovision fans, and apparently they have long nurtured a dream of entering Eurovision. This is the cue for a sketch lining up every antipodean cliché imaginable – surfers, barbies, lager, etc – and ends with Australian singer Jessica Mauboy singing with an astronaut. Well, of course.
Then our hosts return to tell us they have asked people all round the world to send in videos of themselves dancing, and picked the best to entertain us tonight. These range from an adorable little Irish girl to a Danish granny. Bit of a mess, but I guess they didn’t have much budget left after the Aussie number.
Next there’s a preview of the ‘Big 5’ entries and Denmark’s number, some unnecessary flirting and a technical hitch which means we have to have another recap, even though the lines are closed. Oops.
But finally the results are announced, and the ten qualifiers are:
Switzerland
Slovenia
Poland
Romania
Norway
Greece
Malta
Belarus
Finland
Austria
The surprise of the night is that Ireland haven’t qualified, but all my favourites are in, so I’m happy. And with apologies for thread-hogging, I'll bow out now until after Saturday's final.
Posted by Alex Cockell (# 7487) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
Is anyone planning to be in the Cafe, or other online chat room*, whilst watching?
[*I realise that as time goes by the Cafe becomes less and less feasible for more people. ]
I'm over on Quakenet on their Eurovision IRC channel..
and will be on DS...
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Alex Cockell:
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
Is anyone planning to be in the Cafe, or other online chat room*, whilst watching?
[*I realise that as time goes by the Cafe becomes less and less feasible for more people. ]
I'm over on Quakenet on their Eurovision IRC channel..
and will be on DS...
DS?
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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What was Molly wearing !?!
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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I can't get in the Cafe . Drat.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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I wanna wheel.
(We can just use this thread I guess.)
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
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If I order a hamster wheel, do I get the accessory as well?
Posted by Jenn. (# 5239) on
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Your sweet cheesecake?
really?
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by FooloftheShip:
If I order a hamster wheel, do I get the accessory as well?
Beats the standard gym treadmill into a cocked hat I think.
(Belarus were dire & boring.)
The Azerbaijan song is insufficiently cheesy, but they have a woman on a trapeze - I want one of those to go with my wheel - in my eurovision themed bondage dungeon.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
What was Molly wearing !?!
I think the collar was pedigree alsatian.
I think there's a guy from ZZ Top backing the Teletubbies.
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
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Yay Iceland
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
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And does it come with a bubble gum pink suit?
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Now *this* is proper eurovision - they even started with la la. There is so going to be a club remix. Bet they get top 5 minimum.
Lets hear it for Iceland.
(Also anyone who sends an MP should get a bonus point.)
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Norway guy is a bit wet and whiny. Nice tattoo though.
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
quote:
Originally posted by FooloftheShip:
If I order a hamster wheel, do I get the accessory as well?
Beats the standard gym treadmill into a cocked hat I think.
(Belarus were dire & boring.)
The Azerbaijan song is insufficiently cheesy, but they have a woman on a trapeze - I want one of those to go with my wheel - in my eurovision themed bondage dungeon.
I strongly suspect that this dungeon does actually exist. And I also suspect Norway's singer would like to join you
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
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This is a bit mournful. OK but not really Eurovision pop. It's more X Factor.
(Norway)
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Is it me, or does the Romanian have Ant & Dec hair ?
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Armenia were scary.
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
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More silliness needed
GAH!!!
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Yes, this is plaintive whiny again - and it looks mildly creepy till you realise the skater isn't a child.
(I want more stuff for my euro dungeon )
[ 10. May 2014, 19:44: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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I'll take the milkmaid and the dominatrix with the plait.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Yay, bearded drag queen.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Its very 007 theme, I rather like it - defies all known Austrian stereotypes.
[ 10. May 2014, 19:56: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Yay, bearded drag queen.
Who can really sing, and has therefore flagrantly failed to read the Eurovision rule book
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
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Don't call me to Hell but Austria's entry really reminded me of Jesus Christ Superstar.
I mean that as a complement.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
She was strikingly attractive in an unconventional way, it was also a rather good good take me as I am type song. I hope she does well.
[ 10. May 2014, 20:00: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
:
German bottle blonde in a tutu remarkably boring
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Didn't think much to Germany.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Really dislike the Swedish song, singer is very good though.
I mean, "Undo my sad, undo what hurst so bad" really ?
[ 10. May 2014, 20:07: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
:
Are blonde hair and excessive quantities of eye makeup enough to earn a place in DT's Eurovision dungeon?
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
No - I have standards ....
Posted by passer (# 13329) on
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Feel obliged to share this. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
▲
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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Ohgod it's the French Jedward.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Oh dear, twin twin have caught Jedward.
(Great minds ...)
[ 10. May 2014, 20:11: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Ohgod it's the French Jedward.
J'Edward as Danny Wallace on Twitter had it.
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Ohgod it's the French Jedward.
wearing a moustache on his head
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Seesaw for the dungeon
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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Actually, the head is the usual venue for moustaches.
Russian twin song strikes me as a bit wallpapery.
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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Italy - the laurel wreath hasn't been this much fun since the days of Messalina.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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"Parking inappropriately" is a lyric ? Is it me or is the entire Italian song a poorly camouflaged double entendre ?
Ending pose was a bit of a give away too.
(You'll see what I mean if you have the subtitles on red button.)
[ 10. May 2014, 20:20: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
:
Britney does Caligula.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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Italy with classic Eurorock. All it needs is the synth line to be The Final Countdown.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
Britney does Caligula.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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Slovenian costumes cross between Minoan snake goddess and space cadets. With a touch of mad Victorian governess.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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"When the sky stops having the right idea, it will be our time to shine" ?
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
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Think I must be feeling quite shallow
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Finland is making me all nostalgic, for late,eighties early nineties I think.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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I feel that should have been a song for England, if she was going to sing so passionately about rain.
Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on
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Entropy in action: yodelling becomes whistling
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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That seemed to be the ballad of the happy stalker.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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A child abuse anthem, wtf ?
Posted by Jenn. (# 5239) on
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Ok some of these song have been just plain creepy. Nonsense I get, but 2 stalker songs and 1 abuse song???
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Malta is better, but very metaphorically confused.
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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And what, exactly, is the lead singer strumming?
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
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Abuse? Stalkers? Maybe it's good that I don't have the lyrics on.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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And Denmark with a pure europop love song.
His voice is painfully piercing though.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
And what, exactly, is the lead singer strumming?
http://www.alangregory.co.uk/music/Ozark_2139_Appalachian_Dulcimer.html?gclid=CKqUnpScor4CFQzItAodt24AgA
Link if you want one
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
:
Euro-art
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
Abuse? Stalkers? Maybe it's good that I don't have the lyrics on.
He was singing, in English, her daddy comes home, daddy, why, why, why, leave me alone, she cries, cries, cries, cries - and now she is running etc.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Now the Netherlands country and western song is something I would consider buying.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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And another cliché country song.
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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Damsel with a dulcimer one thing, beefy chap in white T another...
See the Netherlands are doing C&W number with Partonesque/Cashoid costuming.
Posted by Jenn. (# 5239) on
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I do like the fact that at the top of my screen there is a 'change audio' button.
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
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Not tonight's best hypothetical Bond theme.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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UK up next
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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I as wrong, Molly isn't wearing dog. It's a cast off Lion King costume.
But another gold dress...
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Hmm, drinking, passive violence - that sounds like us ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
They ambushed Graham !
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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I voted Iceland and Austria.
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
:
Well my vote goes to Iceland. Conchita was a close second.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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The interval act is murdering Beethoven - which is particularly horrific for music composition competition.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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Austria have the best ballad. Conchita Sausage could win.
Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
The interval act is murdering Beethoven - which is particularly horrific for music composition competition.
True - it should be treated with more respect
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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I thought the last supper in their song about 12 was pretty dodgy too.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Late Paul:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
The interval act is murdering Beethoven - which is particularly horrific for music composition competition.
True - it should be treated with more respect
That was sooo much better than the interval act.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
Worst song of the competition, including semis, goes to France, I'm thinking of something positive to say about it....
.
... no can;t think of anything.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Right voting drinking game required.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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One sip per Conchita vote, from deeply suspect martini.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Voting starting any minute now ...
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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I voted Iceland.
Do you think that next year the UK will form a band round Nigel Farage.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Woot 12 for Conchita !
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
I voted Iceland.
Do you think that next year the UK will form a band round Nigel Farage.
I could see him doing, Do you ken John Peel ?
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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France are still on nil points.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
Russia have given points to Ukraine, didn't see that coming
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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How come the sky is so light behind the Netherlands man?
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
Austria doing well
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Austria doing well
Ms Sausage is top
Posted by Surfing Madness (# 11087) on
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
How come the sky is so light behind the Netherlands man?
I was wondering that to.
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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Iceland also has a light sky but I guess that's not a surprise.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Come on Conchita !!
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Wooooohooooo !!!
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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Well done, Conchita.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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Georgia gave 12 to Conchita which was mildly surprising.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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The sausage has won. well done Conchita.
Which were the two tome deaf countries that gave a point to France.
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Georgia gave 12 to Conchita which was mildly surprising.
It appears there were a few such surprises today. Perhaps the voting is becoming more about the song in some places.
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on
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One comment on the BBC News site has it: quote:
The Wurst act won, no different from usual.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
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How long, O Lord, how long. It's even on the news sessions here, though the only thing less newsworthy is a story of a fire brigade rescuing a cat from a tree in Ohio.
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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Can I just say sorry.
I actually like Jess Mauboy and most of her songs - but that was an utterly cringeworthy interval performance.
If this is how the majority of citizens from other nations feel when their songsters take to the Eurovision stage, I am so very glad we don't have to do this ever again.
I suspect Europe feels the same way. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
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I didn't even realise Australia was "in" this year. I usually only watch the final. Must go look it up online.
Posted by shamwari (# 15556) on
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For myself I thought the backing acts, gymnasts et al were far better than any singers.
The whole thing was a cheap extravaganza apart from the cost of staging it.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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Yes. The trapese artist in particular. Shame the camera stayed on the singer for most of the song.
Posted by Jay-Emm (# 11411) on
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and the flags are interesting.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Jay-Emm:
and the flags are interesting.
Too many tricolours. It could have been amazing with some more complex designs
[ 11. May 2014, 21:03: Message edited by: balaam ]
Posted by loggats (# 17643) on
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And the crown goes to C*nt Sausage. Europe gets the Eurovision Queen we deserve.
Posted by Jay-Emm (# 11411) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by Jay-Emm:
and the flags are interesting.
Too many tricolours. It could have been amazing with some more complex designs
I was only half paying attention so missed enough to get away with it, but I can see what you mean
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
:
Eurovision Final Review
And so at last we come to the final. Our household has been stricken with colds and so this report comes to you courtesy of Beechams and Benylin.
We begin with a flashback to last year’s contest, followed by a Bond-style chase from Malmo to Copenhagen, some acrobatics performed with national flags, and rather a lot of indoor fireworks. All 26 entries then walk on stage to be introduced. Worst swimsuit round ever. And then our hosts introduce themselves, and one of them starts making inexplicable jokes in Chinese, for some unexplained reason.
I won’t recap the countries which have already been described in the semis, as frankly I’m not sure I can summon up enough sufficiently deathless prose. Instead I refer you to my previous recaps, m’lud.
We work our way through eleven qualifiers before we meet the first of the big six:
Germany: three ladies who have clearly been influenced by the works of Brecht and Weil. Or maybe it’s just Weil. The lead singer is trying to channel Pink but it doesn’t really work with an accordion.
Then hello again to Sweden, before the second big six country:
France: oh dear. Twin Twin are three lads who clearly think ‘I’m Sexy And I Know It’ is the funniest song ever. They’re trying to pull the same trick here with a song about wanting to have a mustache. Yet more proof that this year’s Eurovision is, in one way or another, all about the hair.
Speaking of which, we then see the Russian twins and their intertwined hair again, before the third of the automatic qualifiers:
Italy: they’ve delved deep into their country’s history for this one. ‘La Mia Citta’ is delivered by a girl in a white dress with panels of gold sequins, wearing a gold laurel wreath on her head. The whole band are wearing the laurels too. At one point, the singer, Emma, crawls around on the floor. Perhaps this is the decline and crawl of the Roman empire.
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on
:
After a return visit from Slovenia and Finland, we meet our next big six country:
Spain: she’s Ruth Lorenzo, and she’s singing with wet hair, about dancing in the rain. Add your own ‘Rain in Spain’ joke if you wish. It’s a standard issue X Factor song (indeed, she was once an X Factor contestant) and she does it well.
Then we get Swizerland, Hungary and Malta, and then the host country:
Denmark: a sweetly dorky boy band singing ‘Cliché Love Song’ which is, yes, a love song full of clichés. It’s all very Bruno Mars, done with a great deal of enthusiasm, and has a ridiculously catchy scat-singing chorus.
Then we have Netherlands and San Marino, before the night is wrapped up by:
UK: Molly is dressed in a cut-down gold dress. Don’t tell me she’s been rifling through Conchita’s cast-offs too? However, she’s chosen to add a rather bizarre faux fur collar, so she looks like she’s auditioning for the Lion King. The song mixes Florence and the Machine with Wolfie Smith, with its ‘Power to the people, oh-oh’ refrain. She sings with gusto and the song seems to go down well in the hall, but I still want an extra ‘oh-oh’ at the end. Perhaps I’m still thinking of Iceland’s ‘Teletubbies go punk’ entry.
Before the interval, the hosts ambush Graham Norton by exploding confetti all over his commentary box. Good job they never did that with Terry Wogan, it would have ruined his whisky.
The interval acts manage to be incredibly bizarre and mind-numbingly dull at the same time. We get ‘Ode to Joy’ sung by various people in white standing at the top of enormous ladders. Then we get a song composed by one of the hosts, dedicated to the maximum Eurovision score of 12. Has this turned into Sesame Street now? There are more jokes about Chinese and China. Are they going to enter next year, or something? I still don’t get it.
The winner of the Junior Eurovision (yes, that is actually a thing), a young girl from Malta called Gaia, demonstrates her impressive voice, and then there’s a sketch about a Eurovision museum. Somehow they have persuaded Johnny Logan to take part. I hope they paid his expenses.
Then the hosts prowl the ‘green room’ distributing various food items to the hungry performers, and Emelie de Forest brings on some dancers wearing tree branches (Forest … trees … I see what she did there) to sing her song again. It’s followed by another song called Rainmaker, which begins with people drumming on water, and ends with half the dancers splashing about in the pool. They obviously don’t have a ‘no divebombing’ notice in Danish swimming pools. Finally the full company come back on stage yet again. Presumably a ploy to keep them all relatively sober up to this point.
And so to the announcing of the votes. There are several instances where countries seem to have voted for a song they actually like, rather than their best mates. Having said that, we certainly don’t complain when we get 8 points from Ireland – our highest score. We get points from nine countries in all, and manage to finish 17th, which is at least better than the last few times.
However, the night belongs to Austria. Even the hosts know this, announcing the inevitable result before the last few countries have even reported in. Conchita is overwhelmed, but manages to pull it together and deliver the song with as much power and panache as previously. We might just be looking at the first ever bearded Bond girl.
And so with that, we retire to our sick beds to recover, and spend the rest of the weekend watching a recording of NBC’s live broadcast version of ‘The Sound of Music’. Ah, there’s nothing like watching heroic Austrians battling against oppression and winning song contests. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodnight.
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by loggats:
And the crown goes to C*nt Sausage. Europe gets the Eurovision Queen we deserve.
I think you will find that that is not normally how the first name is translated, or it wouldn't be turning up as a school name in Miami.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
Or, indeed, used as middle name.
Though the vulgar translation is very likely why it was chosen by Conchita Wurst.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by shamwari:
For myself I thought the backing acts, gymnasts et al were far better than any singers.
The whole thing was a cheap extravaganza apart from the cost of staging it.
If you cut out the cheap and tawdry bits, then we would not be at the end of the show, but a day or 2 before it was due to start.
[ 12. May 2014, 03:26: Message edited by: Gee D ]
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Or, indeed, used as middle name.
Though the vulgar translation is very likely why it was chosen by Conchita Wurst.
Yes, I just suspect the linguistic impact in her language culture is closer to Fanny Wood, or Cynthia Hiscock than cunt sausage.
Posted by leo (# 1458) on
:
The drag queen from Austria sang a good song.
As opposed to the sexist and blatant rubbish from Poland.
Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on
:
Leo - Conchita is not a drag act. She identifies as gender-neutral/genderqueer but uses female pronouns.
Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
Leo - Conchita is not a drag act. She identifies as gender-neutral/genderqueer but uses female pronouns.
Jade - Every reference I can find describes Conchita as precisely a drag act. Tom Neuwirth uses male pronouns in "real life". When portraying the Conchita persona, he uses female pronouns.
Perhaps "drag" isn't quite the right word for a man portraying a "genderqueer" persona such as Conchita, but it's close.
[ 12. May 2014, 23:21: Message edited by: Leorning Cniht ]
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
Dame Edna is a drag act. What description other than "drag act" applies to Conchita Wurst?
Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Dame Edna is a drag act. What description other than "drag act" applies to Conchita Wurst?
Conchita is not a female character though. She is gender neutral/genderqueer.
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Dame Edna is a drag act. What description other than "drag act" applies to Conchita Wurst?
Conchita is not a female character though. She is gender neutral/genderqueer.
That's interesting, as I used to be part of a gender study group, and we wrote a few things about drag.
You seem to be saying that drag implies a male to female, or female to male shift (drag kings), but I'm not sure about that. I would have thought that drag relies on a tension between different sexes and different genders. The exact nature of that tension is difficult to define. For example, there are glamorous drag queens who sing (or mime to) Cher songs - now these seem to be performing a female and feminine role. However, other drag acts which I've seen, leave you in no doubt that this is a bloke in a dress. At any rate, drag is very complex, so I find your description very interesting.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
Wurst/Neuwirth's own description.
quote:
I told him I don’t want to be a woman. I am just a working queen and a very lazy boy at home
quote:
In 2007, Neuwirth reached the final of the 2007 Austrian casting show Starmania,[3] and returned to television in 2011 in drag as the character "Conchita Wurst," a persona he created in response to earlier experiences, and said, "This is about an important message, it's call for tolerance for everything that seems different."[4]
So, in this case, it appears more a statement than an identity. As quetzalcoatl said, more complicated than any one definition.
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on
:
It's the same with misogyny, which some feminists seem to be attributing to drag. I think some drag is misogynistic - contemptuous to women. But some drag is adoring of women; in fact, the Cher look-alikes tend to think she's wonderful, like many in the audience. I suppose you could argue that that re-enactment of glamour is insulting to women in general; dunno. This is like the arguments about Madonna and Beyonce - are they showing women's power, or subtly denigrating ordinary women?
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
With Cher and Beyoncé it's kinda both.
I am not completely comfortable with drag for the same reason. It is difficult to separate the conflicting premises.
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on
:
Yes, 'conflicting premises' is a good description. But Judith Butler has a nice argument, that gender itself is a performance, and therefore a kind of masquerade, and so drag makes that more explicit. I'm not sure really, but I do find it fascinating, as it is a kind of meta-performance.
Of course, women wear men's clothes quite easily.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
Of course, women wear men's clothes quite easily.
Well, yes and no. If the cut or style is too "masculine", assumptions are often made. And indeed, some use men's clothing as a statement.
[ 13. May 2014, 18:01: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
Posted by ecumaniac (# 376) on
:
And some women have beards
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
I bought the CDs.
Which I've never done before. But I had a sense this time around, more than usual, that some quite good pop songs were let down by their performances. There were a lot of nerves on display.
I'm going through the songs from the final, and already a couple of ones that I felt suffered in the live performance (I deliberately kept my recording of the final for this comparison) are doing better in the studio version. Azerbaijan in particular - I think it's a rather nice song, but she was off key on the night, the adrenalin made her go sharp I think. Norway is better in the studio too.
And Iceland goes from one of the few I actively disliked to tolerable.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Interestingly, the first one to sound worse on the studio version compared to live is Poland. One could speculate that the cleavage in the live version distracted from the song, but I should be relatively immune to such feminine wiles. I just think it was a shouty kind of song that worked quite well in live performance.
All the bouncing around on stage in the Greek entry slightly assisted it as well, distracting from the generally annoying sound of the actual song...
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
Now yu have the CD I have to ask, was France's song as bad in the studio version as it was on the night?
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Now yu have the CD I have to ask, was France's song as bad in the studio version as it was on the night?
In my opinion it was not redeemed by the studio version. I haven't listened yet to any of the songs that weren't in the final, but of the ones I've listened to, I thought it was the worst on the night and my first impression is that it's still the worst on disc.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Interestingly, the first one to sound worse on the studio version compared to live is Poland. One could speculate that the cleavage in the live version distracted from the song, but I should be relatively immune to such feminine wiles. I just think it was a shouty kind of song that worked quite well in live performance.
According to this site, it was clever satire. I am not sure myself, although....wait, you bought the CDs? As in paid real money. Intentionally. Please tell me you were drunk. Or suffering from a concussion. No, no, no, drunk and suffering from a concussion. And then you listened to them?! Good Gods, orfeo....
I say this from concern, please get help.
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